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The little brown boy, Ruskin was lying on the blanket on the floor and he was trying to sleep, but he couldn't. He always struggled with falling asleep, ever since he could remember. Back then, when he needed to live in the street, he was afraid that someone would kill him in his sleep....or use him in a way which was even worse to imagine. Since he got taken in by a lower class family, he didn't need to be wary of this - instead, new fears came to his life. That he would be unable to steal enough money for the alcoholic head of the family who will beat him or that he will get thrown out and needs to live behind the only person who mattered to him. The youngest child of the family, Charles, who ever since he lived there, became Ruskin's entire world and only joy.
Charles was the same age as him and he also carried the same curse - not being needed or loved by his own family. Charles was an unwanted child, not even his own mother cared for him, so Ruskin was trying to make up for it by loving Charles much, much more than he was supposed to ever love anyone. He didn't think of him as his brother, rather than his other half. Only they were there for each other against the whole world and Ruskin, when he was lying in the kitchen where his night place was, kept wishing that Charles was there as well. If his friend's body would be pressing to him, his curly red hair tickling his forehead and his golden eyes, like stars, would shine in the dark, Ruskin was sure that he would not feel the cold nor the hardness of the floor under him. He would have the sweetest dreams while he inhales Charles' scent and hugs him to himself, not letting him go. But unfortunately, Charles had his own place with his older brothers and Ruskin was left on his own to cry himself to sleep.
Ruskin wondered if sometimes Charles had the same wish as him, or if he likes sleeping with the other children, despite the fact that they kept bullying him. But he was not brave enough to bring up the idea that they should sleep together. Ruskin knew that Charles liked him, but his love was nowhere near to Ruskin's obsession who worshipped him like he was his god. Yes, Charles probably didn't want to give over the comfort of his bed just to sleep with him. When Ruskin's wish was not burning in his heart so strongly, he thought that it was better this way. At least, one of them has good nights - or so he thought until Charles began to complain about his nightly circumstances as well.
"My brothers kicked me out of the bed and I needed to sleep on the floor." He noted one morning with a yawn. "One bed is not enough for all of us, but Father would never buy another one. He wouldn't spend his money this way if he could spend it on alcohol." He shook his head bitterly. "But it's always me who ends up on the floor. I am not strong enough to fight my brothers yet, but one day, I will destroy them." He swore and clenched his fists.
Ruskin heard this from him before. He knew how much Charles loathed his own family and that he needed to live in poverty. He planned to become one of the most powerful people of the country and Ruskin didn't doubt that he would be able to do it. If Charles got something into his head, he got his will through, no matter what stood in his way. Ruskin just wished if he would have a chance to be there and serve his friend later, helping his dream to come true. The only thing he wanted in his life, for the rest of it, was Charles' closeness and loving him from the bottom of his heart.
Ruskin opened his mouth hearing the complaint, but he didn't say anything in the end. Charles quickly changed the topic, not liking to whine much and appear vulnerable and didn't let time for Ruskin to bring up the idea of sleeping together in the kitchen. When the night came, he was on his own again and he could only hug his blanket, pretending that it was his beloved friend. But the illusion was not enough to help him sleep. Ruskin stared at the dark roof above him late at night and kept counting until he was half-insane from the tiredness. However, this craziness finally brought him the courage he was unable to gather during the day. He got the strange urge to stand up and walk to the bedroom to see how Charles was doing that night.
He could barely see in the dark, but as his vision got used to it, he could notice the little figure lying next to the bed. So Charles got kicked out from the bed again, he thought. With a heavily beating heart, he decided to grab this chance. He went to the figure and knelt down next to him, starting to pamper his hair.
"Ruskin, is that you?" Charles' eyes opened up for the touch. He was clearly not sleeping. "What are you doing here?"
"I just... would you..." Ruskin began rambling, then he inhaled a deep breath. "Would you sleep with me?" It finally left his mouth, the question increasing his heartbeat even more.
"You mean... in the kitchen.. with you?" Charles repeated with surprise and Ruskin was sure that he would start laughing at him, but the other boy shrugged his shoulders in the end. "It must be more comfortable there than here. But wouldn't I bother you?" He asked and Ruskin immediately shook his head.
"No, no!" He said quickly and grabbed Charles' hand. "Just come with me."
The two boys silently sneaked out to the kitchen. Ruskin let his friend lie down at first to be more comfortable, then he covered him with a blanket and settled down next to him. Ruskin turned towards Charles, his courage was not enough to hug him, but he didn't even need to do anything. Charles leaned closer and wrapped one of his arms around Ruskin's body. There was a smile on his face when he whispered.
"I am sure that you will not kick me during the night."
"Never." Ruskin promised, but Charles didn't hear it anymore. He buried his head into Ruskin's chest and fell asleep immediately.
Ruskin watched his friend for a little while and the happiness was bursting in his heart. He fell asleep with the thought that his wish gave some comfort to his friend as well. And Charles' comfort was the most beautiful thing in the world.