Work Text:
“And then the other day, Trainer...”
On a bright, sunny afternoon, Teio sat across from McQueen at a terrace seat in the academy café and, as always, told her about her trainer. McQueen nodded along to the story and took a small sip of tea. A pleasant fragrance rose with it, and a faint bitterness spread through her mouth.
Most of the things they talked about over afternoon tea were complaints about Teio’s trainer. How he would not pay attention to her on his days off, how he only ever looked at other girls—things like that. The things McQueen least wanted to hear. And yet, as Teio spoke, she looked somehow happy. Seeing that made McQueen smile a little in spite of herself, and at the same time, it made her chest ache.
McQueen should have known that would happen, but still, every day, she talked with Teio here. Was it because Teio came to her as her best friend for advice? Because Teio told her anything and everything? ...No. The true reason was that McQueen was in love with Teio. She wanted to speak with the person she loved as much as she possibly could. She wanted even a little more of Teio’s time to belong to her.
Such a fragile love.
...And yet, this love would never be rewarded.
Because Teio...
“Haaah... What am I supposed to do to make that stubborn Trainer of mine look only at me, McQueen?”
...was in love with someone who was not McQueen.
The first time McQueen met Teio was soon after she had entered the academy. Though when she said met, the very first time was only seeing Teio running far in the distance... Even so, the way Teio ran left a strong impression on her.
As an Umamusume of the same generation, McQueen felt she could not afford to lose to Teio. Along with that, another emotion, just the faintest trace of one, rose in her, and for some reason she found herself unable to stop thinking about Teio.
After training, when McQueen stayed behind for independent practice, Teio would practice on her own as well, almost as if she were competing with McQueen. Neither of them could stand losing to the other, so they trained until they were both completely exhausted. Then, while dragging her tired body through the academy after it had grown entirely dark, McQueen happened to run into Teio. That was the first time they spoke.
““Ah...””
“Oh... My. You are from the class next door...”
“W-what a coincidence.”
“I-it is, isn’t it. Were you training until this late?”
McQueen could hardly say that it was because Teio never stopped running no matter how long she waited, and that was why it had become so late. So even though she already knew, McQueen strung together words as if to cover for herself.
“Y-you too, huh...”
“Yes... Oh my, you look quite tired. Are you all right?”
Teio was pressing a hand to her lower back and looked worn out, so McQueen could not resist teasing her a little.
“N-no!? I’m totally fine!? What are you holding?”
“Th-this is nothing at all!”
Caught right on target, Teio hurriedly straightened her posture, then counterattacked by pointing out the handkerchief McQueen had been using to wipe away her sweat. It felt as though Teio were silently saying, You’re tired too, aren’t you? and McQueen hid the handkerchief behind her back while trying to compose herself.
“Oh... I see~... Ha ha ha ha ha...”
“Y-yes, that is right... Ha ha ha ha ha...”
In their hearts, they surely both understood everything, and yet they laughed together to hide it.
The next day.
And the day after that.
They ran into each other the same way.
And the day after that...
When Teio smiled softly at McQueen, McQueen’s heart gave a small, startled leap, and she smiled back in the same way.
“...What a coincidence.”
“...Indeed.”
At that moment, they went from mere strangers to friends.
McQueen did not understand the true nature of that fluttering feeling she had when she saw Teio’s smile... but thinking back now, perhaps even then she already felt something more than friendship toward Teio.
For someone like McQueen, who until then had shown little interest in anything beyond the Mejiro family’s long-cherished wish and herself, it was strange how much she found herself wanting to know about Teio. She wanted to know more, and so she spent more and more time with her.
As they interacted and competed side by side, what had begun as friendship gradually changed into rivalry, and before long, the word best friend was added to that relationship as well.
But that was the relationship as Teio and others saw it. In addition to that, McQueen gradually became aware of a different feeling she held.
When she watched Teio’s beautiful running...
When she came to know the bright, captivating charm within Teio...
When she saw Teio grit her teeth and rise again each time her dream was broken...
...The more McQueen learned about Teio, the more she fell in love.
But this feeling...
As McQueen spent more time with Teio, she began to notice that Teio, too, had the eyes of someone in love. How wonderful it would have been if those eyes had been turned toward McQueen...
McQueen understood very quickly who the person was. Teio was never very good at hiding things, and for McQueen, who had been watching her all along, it was simple.
...How ironic it was that, because McQueen loved Teio, because she wanted to know Teio, because she had drawn closer to Teio for that very reason, she noticed the one thing she had least wanted to know so quickly.
Holding those complicated feelings inside her, McQueen followed Teio with her eyes again today.
“Hey, hey, Trainer! I was amazing today too, right? Praise me more!”
“Yeah, your time’s looking good too. You’re really coming together, Teio.”
“Hehe! Thanks, Trainer!!”
“Whoa—how many times do I have to tell you not to jump on me, Teio!?”
“Aww, this much is fine~!”
McQueen watched from a distance as the two of them looked so close and happy together to any outside observer. Ah... how wonderful it would have been if the two people standing there were Teio and McQueen.
Emotions that went in circles, affection that piled endlessly on itself, sank day by day into the bottom of McQueen’s heart until her chest began to hurt.
...Every time she saw Teio talking so happily with her trainer.
...Every time Teio told her so joyfully about him.
McQueen’s chest throbbed with pain.
It hurt so much. It was so bitter, so painful. And yet some part of it felt precious to her, and each time, McQueen realized how deeply she loved Teio. She could only be appalled at herself.
When McQueen had first realized her love for Teio, the world had seemed as beautiful as the cherry blossoms blooming in full glory during the season when they first met... But now it was a sorrowful world, one in which the flowers had already scattered and all that remained was to wait for them to wither.
...No matter how close McQueen became to Teio, no matter how special their relationship seemed... in the end, she was only Teio’s best friend. She could not become Teio’s one and only special person.
Teio’s love... even if it was not permitted now, once time passed, it would surely be blessed someday. Compared with that, McQueen’s love was... How much easier it would have been if she could have simply given up these feelings.
In truth, McQueen wanted to tell Teio how she felt, even if nothing came of it. But Teio was in love with that person... and McQueen did not want to trouble her.
...So McQueen decided she would keep this feeling carefully shut away in her heart. Even if she had to kill her own self to do it... she would push Teio forward. No matter how painful it was.
Because she wanted to keep watching the profile of Teio’s face as she smiled, unaware of anything.
Because all McQueen wished for was Teio’s happiness.
Even if that happiness did not lie with McQueen.
Even after deciding that... sometimes, McQueen still found herself wondering.
...Could she not have done something, somewhere, before she came to love Teio this much?
But McQueen had wanted this. She had chosen to love. So even if it never came true, even if these feelings were never conveyed... she wanted to treasure the fact that she had been able to feel this way.
Forcing down something that threatened to overflow, McQueen watched the two of them walk away.
“...I loved you before you ever fell in love...”
“Staring at your beloved Lady Teio again today, are ya, McQueen?”
Someone answered the soliloquy that should have received no reply. When McQueen turned around, Gold Ship stood there. It seemed she had been watching as well.
“...How long have you been there, Gold Ship?”
“I’ve been here a while, y’know. I called you over and over, but you didn’t answer.”
“...My apologies. And what business do you have with me? I am busy...”
“Busy? Even though you’ve just been spacing out and staring this whole time?”
“............”
McQueen did not want to speak with anyone just then, and the words that sprang out of her were far too poor to serve as an excuse. There was no way Gold Ship would let that pass. Gold Ship stared fixedly at McQueen, then sighed.
“Hey, McQueen... Are you really okay with this?”
“...With what?”
“With Teio. You’re always watching those two, ain’t ya? Are you really okay with things staying like this? Just watching from far away? The goddess of victory ain’t gonna smile unless you reach out and grab her yourself, y’know.”
“...So you noticed. I thought I had hidden it.”
“Looks like everybody else thinks you’re just studying your rival, though. ...Don’t underestimate Golshi-chan too much, yeah?”
“I see... Thank you for your concern. But it is all right.”
“But you—”
“...Precisely because I love her... I have decided to push her forward. I have decided to wish for her happiness.”
When McQueen said that, Gold Ship fell silent. After a short stretch of quiet, she looked down and murmured.
“...Don’t say that with a face like you’re about to cry... Where’s your happiness in any of that?”
“...Teio’s happiness matters more than mine.”
“...That so. ...Well, if that actually made Teio happy, maybe it would be.”
“What do you mean by—”
“...Sorry. Weird thing to ask. See ya.”
“Ah—Gold Ship!”
Something about the way Gold Ship spoke suggested there was more to it, and McQueen tried to ask what she truly meant, but Gold Ship hurried off somewhere.
McQueen learned the meaning behind those words less than a few days later.
...By pure chance, she saw it.
In the trainer’s office of Teio’s trainer, where McQueen had gone on an errand...
A single photograph left on his desk.
The moment McQueen saw it, the blood drained from her whole body, and her vision nearly swayed.
Somehow she endured it, and with a trembling voice, she questioned him. Part of her desperately hoped it was not true. Part of her, ugly as it was, thought that if it was true, then perhaps she, too...
“...Trainer-san? That photograph...”
“Hmm? Whoops, I forgot to put it away... I’m glad you saw it before Teio did. She’d make a fuss.”
“N-no... And this person is...?”
“Ah... Well, if it’s you, McQueen, I guess it’s fine... Keep it a secret from Teio, all right? The woman in this photo is my precious...”
~⏰~
Several seasons had passed since then, and once again, it was the season when cherry blossoms danced in the air.
McQueen and Teio’s relationship remained unchanged, and this was the final year they would spend at Tracen Academy.
McQueen had just resolved to spend it preserving her memories with Teio as something beautiful—as memories of a best friend and rival—when it happened.
They had both already withdrawn from the front lines of racing, and after school, when they had more free time, the two of them had fallen into the habit of taking tea together.
“Hey, McQueen... This year is our last year at the academy, isn’t it?”
“It is. To think that our days here, after all that happened, will soon be over... It is a little lonely.”
“Yeah... And so, you know... I’m thinking of telling Trainer how I feel.”
“...I see.”
Ah, so that day had finally come.
It was only natural. Until now, Teio had said she loved him, but had only ever approached him indirectly. She had never taken any concrete action, simply because races still remained, and because of how it would look for him in society.
But now there were almost no races left, and in another year they would graduate, so his public position would no longer be a problem.
If there was a problem... it was that he already...
“...Teio.”
“Hmm?”
“Um... The moment has finally come. Please... do your best.”
“Yeah! Thanks!”
Unable to look directly at Teio’s happy smile, McQueen dropped her eyes to the cup in her hands instead.
...She was a terrible woman. She had decided she would wish for Teio’s happiness. And yet she knew there was no happiness waiting for Teio at the end of this path, and still she had never told her the truth.
Because if she told Teio the truth, it would hurt her... That was merely an excuse. McQueen’s true feelings were far uglier than that.
...She was sorry, Teio. Teio had trusted McQueen enough to tell her all this...
...And rather than repay that trust, McQueen had acted in a way that betrayed it.
She was sorry... so sorry...
And then, Teio...
...beneath the row of cherry trees where they had first met, while the western sky dyed itself in twilight...
confessed her feelings to him.
McQueen watched it from behind a tree. Teio had asked her to watch over her.
Teio’s face was bright red, and though she trembled, she told him how she felt. Seeing that, he looked a little surprised, and then he lowered his head.
—I’m sorry.
That was all he said.
As despair visibly overtook Teio’s face, she asked him why in a trembling voice.
—Why? Am I not good enough? Do you hate me?
—That’s not it. I was honestly happy that you told me you liked me...
—Then!
—But what I feel for you isn’t romantic love. You’re my precious student... like an adorable daughter to me.
—............
—And... I’m sorry I kept it quiet all this time, but... there’s a woman I love.
—.........!
Teio’s eyes flew wide open, and tears began to gather at once.
...Yes. That was the truth McQueen had been unable to tell Teio all this time.
...The result of this race had been decided from the very beginning. Before Teio had even started.
Seeing Teio on the verge of tears, he began to say something, but as if she could not bear to hear it, she ran off.
In the instant Teio passed beside her, McQueen saw her profile... and it looked sadder than anything she had ever seen.
All McQueen could do was stand there, stunned, watching Teio’s back recede into the distance.
But she could not possibly leave Teio alone like that. Even if this had been decided from the start, McQueen bore part of the responsibility.
Thinking so, McQueen ran off too, searching for wherever Teio had gone.
~⏰~
“...I knew you would be here, Teio.”
“...McQueen?”
After searching for several dozen minutes, McQueen found Teio exactly where she had expected: sitting curled up in a place that overlooked the academy racecourse.
When Teio raised her face, her eyes were red and swollen, and her cheeks were wet with tears.
McQueen said nothing... No. She simply did not know what to say, and so she sat silently beside Teio.
Teio said nothing either, and for a while, the two of them remained wordless, staring out at the empty racecourse.
At last, one word at a time, Teio began to speak.
“...McQueen, I failed... I really failed.”
“...Yes.”
“...It’s kind of laughable, isn’t it...? I never had any chance from the beginning, but I got all carried away by myself... spun my wheels all on my own... and ended up troubling Trainer...”
Large tears spilled one after another from Teio’s wide eyes.
“...Until yesterday, when I thought about Trainer, you know? My chest felt warm... But now my chest hurts so much... It hurts so much...”
“............”
“...Hey, McQueen? If it hurts this much... if it’s this painful... would it have been better if I’d never fallen in love at all...?”
“...No... That is not true...”
“...McQueen?”
“...That, and that alone, is absolutely not true, Teio...”
Perhaps McQueen had no right to say such a thing. Even so, she wanted to deny that much. ...If she did not, she could not bear it.
“...Even if your love did not come true... even if the person you loved did not return your feelings... the fact that you loved someone is undeniably real. That feeling must have shone brightly... It must be a precious memory. Is it not?”
“...Yeah.”
“...I understand your pain so well it hurts... the pain of not having the one you love turn toward you. But please, do not deny that feeling. Even if you cannot have the relationship you wished for, the relationship itself has not ended...”
“...Yeah... You’re right... Thanks, McQueen... I feel just a little better.”
“Then... I am glad.”
Wiping away her tears, Teio showed McQueen her usual smile. Her face looked as though she was forcing it just a little, but McQueen was still glad that Teio seemed to have recovered some of her spirit.
“Haaah... That aside, McQueen, are you in love with someone too?”
“Pardon?”
“I mean, you said you understood how I felt... and that you understood how painful it is when someone won’t look your way, right? So I wondered if that was why.”
“...I suppose so.”
“Huh... So you are... Hey, hey? Who is it~? Tell me~”
“...I do not wish to say.”
“Aww... Don’t say that. I’ve been telling you all along, haven’t I~? And this time I want to help you. Maybe it’s someone I’m close with, you know~? Come on, tell me~”
Where had the sniffling, weeping Teio from moments ago gone? Having completely recovered her usual rhythm, Teio said that with a laugh, still noticing nothing.
That kindness made McQueen’s chest ache, and yet... perhaps she allowed herself to lean on it. Before she knew it, her true feelings slipped out in a whisper.
“...It is you...”
“Hmm~? Who?”
“...The one I adore is... you, Teio.”
“Oh, I see— Wait. Me?”
Seeing Teio stare blankly, McQueen realized what she had said and hurried to close her mouth, but doing so no longer meant anything.
The feelings that had leaked outside once burst through like a broken dam, spilling out one after another. McQueen could not stop them.
“...I have been in love with you all this time. Since the first time we met...”
Along with those overflowing feelings, something warm spilled from McQueen’s eyes. Along with everything she had held back until now.
“...But you were in love with someone else... And even so, I could not give up. Somehow, I wanted you to turn toward me... I wanted to tell you how I felt... But because I loved you... because I wanted you to be happy... I locked these feelings away in my heart...”
“............”
“...I am a terrible woman. I said I wished for your happiness... and yet even after learning that your trainer already had someone, I kept silent. I made excuses, saying I did not want to hurt you... when the truth is that I was thinking something ugly, that perhaps it might be my chance. I am such an awful woman... and still, that is how deeply I...”
“...McQueen...”
“You must despise me, mustn’t you? This ugly version of me. ...Teio, I will not ask you to forgive me. I would not mind in the slightest if you chose to cut ties with me. But if you could... pity me even a little... would you let me stay beside you? I do not mind if it is out of sympathy, or even as a replacement for him. As your special...”
By the end, even McQueen no longer knew what she was saying. She had betrayed someone who trusted her... and now she was taking advantage of Teio’s kindness. Her own shamelessness disgusted her.
Teio listened to her in silence, and McQueen was too afraid to look and see what sort of face Teio wore.
After a short silence, McQueen heard Teio stand from where she sat beside her.
...Of course. Teio would not want to speak with someone as horrible as McQueen anymore.
This relationship would end today. That was only natural. McQueen had done enough to deserve it.
Just as she thought that, McQueen felt something warm touch her cheek. Drawn by it, she lifted her eyes, and Teio’s face was right in front of her.
“Tei...o?”
“Geez... Don’t make that face, McQueen.”
“But... I... to you...”
“Well, maybe I’m allowed to be just a tiny bit angry... But honestly, I’m not that bothered by it. Even if I’d known sooner, the result probably wouldn’t have changed.”
“............”
“And... about what you said earlier? The answer is... I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”
“...Of course. I am sorry for saying something so strange... Please forget—”
“You’re one of my precious people too, McQueen... So I don’t want to date someone like you out of sympathy, or use you as a replacement for someone else...”
After saying that, Teio removed her hand from McQueen’s cheek and took McQueen’s hand. As if recreating that rainy day...
“So, you know? We only have one year left, but... make me fall in love with you. You’re precious to me, but right now I can only see you as my best friend. So make me think that I love you... that you’re precious to me in the real meaning of the word. If that happens, then next time, I’ll be the one to tell you. ...That I love you, and that I want you to go out with me.”
“...Is that truly all right with you? Even if it is... someone like me...”
“I think that depends on how hard you try, McQueen! Well, even if it does happen, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad... something like that!”
The face Teio showed as she laughed was far too dazzling, and that radiance made McQueen’s heart pound.
Truly... Teio was far too kind.
...But if that was what Teio said, then McQueen would allow herself to lean on that kindness. She was a cunning woman, after all.
The hand McQueen had once let go without taking, she now squeezed back. She rose to her feet and wiped away her tears.
“...Yes. Yes, I understand. Prepare yourself, Teio. You know very well, do you not, that once I decide I want something, I will obtain it no matter what? If there is no need to hold back... then I swear upon my name, I will most certainly make you mine!”
Smiling in her usual way, McQueen declared it proudly.
Seeing McQueen like that, Teio smiled softly too.
“Yeah. That’s right. Now you finally look like the usual McQueen.”
“Oh? Did I not look that way before?”
“Hmm, who was it again who got all meek and started crying earlier~?”
“Perhaps a certain emperor somewhere who wept and sobbed after her heart was broken~?”
“What’s that supposed to mean!”
“What do you think!”
“...Hehe.”
“...Heehee.”
They glared at each other with gritted teeth, but since they were both equally guilty, it quickly became funny, and they laughed together.
“...Let’s go home, McQueen.”
“Yes, Teio.”
The sun had almost completely sunk in the west, and they walked side by side beneath the darkening sky.
...In the end, perhaps their relationship had not changed at all. But after saying everything—McQueen’s feelings for Teio, and the things McQueen had hidden—McQueen felt as though the distance between them had narrowed, just a little.
~⏰~
Spring passed, summer left, autumn came, winter went by.
And spring arrived once more.
At last, the day came for McQueen and Teio to graduate from Tracen Academy.
The graduation ceremony ended without incident, and after McQueen finished what might be her final conversations with her classmates... she was walking along that row of cherry trees.
““Ah...””
“What a coincidence, McQueen.”
“What a coincidence, Teio.”
“It’s like when we first met.”
“It is... You remembered?”
“Well, yeah~”
“...Today is the end of our lives here at the academy.”
“Yeah... A lot happened, huh?”
“Indeed... Especially during this past year...”
“Really...”
There, their conversation broke off, and for a while they walked in silence as the cherry blossoms danced around them.
Just before the academy’s main gate came into sight, Teio suddenly stopped. McQueen took a few more steps, then turned back toward Teio.
“...Is something the matter, Teio?”
“...Hey, McQueen... There’s something I want you to hear.”
“...Yes. Go on.”
When McQueen said that, Teio fell silent for a moment... and then, her face red, she opened her mouth.
“You know... I... about you...”
A strong gust of wind roared through.
Spring itself seemed to be just around the corner.
~⏰~
Several years later, in spring, in a place where cherry blossoms danced.
“McQueen! Over here, over here! Hurry up!”
“Teio... It is dangerous to run like that. Honestly... You are as restless as ever, even after all this time.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine! Everybody went to the trouble of getting together, you know! Come on, let’s go!”
Saying that, Teio held out her hand to McQueen. With a small wry smile, McQueen took it... then pulled in return and ran ahead of Teio.
“Whoa!? McQueen!?”
“Heehee. Now, let us go, Teio!”
“Wah! Wait! Don’t pull me all of a sudden!”
Two Umamusume ran joyfully, hand in hand.
On the ring fingers of their left hands, matching silver rings glittered in the light.
Fin