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Tyler watches, from across the parking lot, as his crush chats up his other punk friends, sharing a cigarette as they laugh amongst themselves.
He sighs loudly.
He's been doing that a lot lately, sighing that is, and watching, staring, stalking…ever since the realization hit him that he'd never be what Jeremy wants. He'll never be that guy for Jeremy but Christ did he want to be.
His crush on the younger boy isn't a secret, not by any means. His friends figured it out first (a couple of weeks ago, when the pining reached an all-time high, though he's surprised nobody caught on sooner. Matt did but he knew it once Tyler knew it because he was the first person little 16 year old Tyler told when he realized he might be gay – and better yet gay for Jeremy Gilbert),and peaches that they are were relentless in their teasing, and naturally it was only a matter of time before everyone knew. And everyone does know, Jeremy probably even knows, but Tyler certainly hopes not. That would be mortifying.
Matt being his best friend was the only one who never joined in on the teasing, being completely supportive the whole time. He never even once poked fun at Tyler's pathetic obsession with the pot-smoking punk. Tyler remembers when he first told Matt about his crush during their sophomore year, they were in Tyler's bedroom playing a videogame and Tyler just came out with it, close to tears and petrified that his best friend would hate him but Matt just smiled and said, "That's great Ty, he's cute, I mean as guys go." And that was that because that's just how Matt is, chill like no one else but supportive, loyal and loving to even mere acquaintances. Matt's such a fierce friend in the way that if you're his friend you could be sure that if you ever needed anything he would go above and beyond to make sure it happened for you. He would bend time and space for his friends but he's always been that way. He's been like that since they were in diapers together and Tyler hopes he'll be that way for the rest of their lives because he knows they'll always be best friends.
So Tyler had Matt which was great because you always need your best friend on your side but Caroline came around too (she found out when the rest of the school did and once she got over being offended that Tyler didn't tell her about how hopelessly in love he was with another boy she was their greatest ally for sure,) which was even better because a woman's advice is definitely welcome among them, Tyler needs all the help he can get. Caroline took that little tidbit to heart and now she's almost intolerable. She seems to believe that Tyler having said he values her opinion justifies her decisions regarding all things Tyler…however extreme, insane, or absolutely ludicrous, (usually the latter) they may be.
That is exactly what the problem is Tyler thinks as he tugs restlessly at the tight white shirt that's clinging to his body (chest and abs) in a way that Tyler isn't sure he's entirely comfortable with. And the damn leather jacket he's sporting doesn't feel right to him. He feels like a bad Grease cliché. It looks fine, it looks more than fine really, Matt who's as straight as a ruler flushed when he came strutting out of the dressing room in it last weekend during their oh so needed, (Caroline's words) shopping trip. He's not sure why he needed a whole new wardrobe but Caroline insisted Jeremy would like the new him, so naturally Tyler whipped out his wallet like he was born to charge his Visa card.
The black jeans, he's wearing are a nice addition though he'll give Caroline that. They hug him in all the right places, slim across his hips and thighs, accentuating his assets perfectly or at least that's what Caroline's squeal and Matt's blush told him. To sum up the whole ensemble, snug black jeans, tight white t-shirt, fitted leather jacket, black scuffed up combat boots, and dark Ray-Bans placed coolly over his eyes, he knows he looks good and he's trying not to fuss or complain because this is for Jeremy, this is to get noticed by Jeremy so it's worth it.
According to Caroline, Jeremy wants someone who can keep up with him, someone who is like the people he hangs out with but not necessarily a drug dealer. Tyler isn't entirely sure how she knows this but the daggers she sent him when he'd asked told him, don't mess Lockwood, don't mess. So he won't because he values his life and if this is going to get him Jeremy, fucking bring it, that's what Tyler says.
Also, and this got him thinking, Caroline hangs out with Bonnie who is best friends with Elena who is Jeremy's sister so she probably (hopefully) knows what she's talking about.
She gave him a checklist, hair—which is odd because his hair is more on the short side but sure, check, outfit—check, he's got fashion down to a science and last but certainly not least, attitude—maybe check but he knows he's got work to do on that one. When it comes down to it apparently Jeremy wants a grade-A, no good, dirty, rotten, I don't give a fuck, bad boy. Which okay Tyler can do, because he has, on occasion been known to have a temper and an attitude but he isn't necessarily mean and he certainly doesn't hurt people. Tyler's a jock by nature, popular by default but mean doesn't come as easily to him as some might think and if he's faced with it he's not sure he'll be able to play the bitch to get Jeremy to chase him instead of the other way around. And how the hell is he expected to act that way to Jeremy?
Tyler takes one more, big steadying breath, fixes his jacket and glasses, runs a hand through his short hair to mess it up just right and starts walking across the parking lot to the school. He can hear Jeremy's group of friends laughing at something and Tyler tries to pick Jeremy's light but hearty chuckle out of the group but can't. He reminds himself to be cool as he breathes in the smoke from their cigarettes and he actually feels his body uncoil slightly.
Tyler nearly stops and turns back but he can hear Caroline and Matt tiddling on behind him and that urges him forward. He remembers the casual, bored, better than you attitude Caroline told him to carry with pride as he struts past them and through the doors.
His breath hitches when out of the corner of his eye he can see Jeremy eyeing him curiously, watching him intently. This could actually work.
…
Tyler can't remember his locker combination and his hands are too clammy to grasp the dial properly anyways so he's glad when Caroline is squealing in his ear because that's just the distraction he needs.
"Oh my God, Tyler that was great, you were great," Caroline is practically yelling and Tyler's relieved everyone is still loitering in the courtyard because he really doesn't want anyone else to witness what's bound to be a freak out of epic proportions.
He fights a smile because it's nice to know he didn't look like a fool. "You were all hot and tempting with just the right amount of cool. And the way you were walking, damn you were like 'yeah I know you see me, eat your heart out babe.' Gah, perfect!" She claps her hands together and Tyler nearly takes a bow.
"And he was watching," Matt says coolly, excitement noticeable in his voice too, and Tyler's smile is blinding because he's glad that wasn't just in his head, Jeremy was watching him and he wasn't just imagining it. Matt saw it too. "Jeremy was totally checking you out." They all laugh giddily, Caroline starts jumping around, bouncing on her toes and Tyler has to fight every desire in his body not to join because it felt so good and damn this is…is…this is fantastic!
Matt looks at him with a smile that says go ahead I won't judge if you freak out with her. So he does. It seems childish for a few moments because he's 18 and he's jumping around, squealing, and giggling like a 10 year old girl in the middle of the hallway. That thought literally last for 5 seconds because he earned this. He's had a god damn crush on god damn Jeremy Gilbert since Jeremy was a freshman and he's finally, finally growing the balls to make a move, and it's working. It's fucking working!
The first bell goes off so they stop their hysterics; Caroline actually has to wipe away some happy tears which makes Matt and Tyler dissolve into laughter again.
Tyler finally gets his locker open a few minutes later and is about to put away his sunglasses when Caroline's hand stops him. People have begun to fill the hallways, milling around them as they get ready for class, Caroline lowers her voice.
"Keep those with you," she says with a sly smile, "You never know when you'll need to be sneaky." She drops a wink at him, plants a warm peck on Tyler's forehead, patting Matt on the cheek before she turns and goes prancing off to her own locker. Matt pats him on the back and is turning to head to his own locker but is stopped when Caroline comes crashing back into them.
Both boys look at her inquisitively, waiting for her to drop more of her pearls their way. "Get in trouble," Matt and Tyler share a confused glance. "In class, get in trouble."
"But I don't have any-" Caroline cuts Tyler off before he can finish.
"I know, but I do he's in my Calc class which I have first today, so get in trouble, I'll do the rest." She smiles reassuringly and then she's gone.
Matt chuckles as he shrugs his shoulders, walking away from him while muttering something about chicks and blonde and crazy that makes Tyler happy he has them.
Tyler smiles to himself as he grabs his things for Physics, thinking the whole way to class how exactly he's going to get himself sent to the office this early in the morning.
…
"New look Lockwood," Mark, one of the guys from the track team says as he stops at Tyler's lab desk. Mark and Tyler aren't exactly close so he doesn't see a reason to be a douche about the comment but then he remembers he's supposed to keep up his new persona all the time so it sticks.
He keeps his face blank and eyes uninterested and slightly annoyed as he peers at him over the top of his sunglasses. The guy isn't giving up, Tyler can see that. He huffs and rolls his eyes behind the tinted glass, wondering why he even bothered because Mark can't see it anyway.
"Something like that," he props his feet up on the table, leaning back in his chair.
Mark nods his head in understanding, acceptance and then a small smile is working its way across his lips and that confuses Tyler slightly because why does he, no why should he care. Exactly, he shouldn't. "I like it," Mark tells him, "You look good." And now Tyler's really confused because he seriously doesn't give two shits if Mark likes it or not. This transformation was for one person and Mark certainly doesn't look like Jeremy to Tyler so sucks for Mark. He's turning around in his seat and Tyler nearly misses how he licks his lips in appreciation. Flirting isn't anything he's not used to but fuck, from Mark? That's just weird.
Poor guy doesn't have a snow-balls chance, Tyler thinks as he slips his headphones in his ears—time to get in trouble.
…
Caroline texts him about a 15 minutes into class asking him how it's going, and he's about to answer when Mr. Lloyd, his teacher is standing over him pointing to his ears. It's going great Care, he sends back with a smirk. His teacher has already asked him to take off his glasses, a few times too, but Tyler just pushed the glasses further up his nose, ignoring the comments entirely as he ups the volume on his music some more.
He looks up at Mr. Lloyd—middle-aged, balding barrel of a man who always wears the absolute worst ties—with bored eyes, though he can't see that through the dark of his lens, doesn't take his headphones out and doesn't take his feet off the desk either. The teacher crosses his arms and he looks very unimpressed but Tyler knows he's just annoyed. Here goes nothing, Tyler thinks as Mr. Lloyd yanks out both his headphones.
"I liked that song..." Mr. Lloyd ignores Tyler's words completely. Tyler moves the glasses up onto his head.
"Am I boring you Mr. Lockwood," he asks, mouth pressed into a thin line, foot tapping impatiently. Tyler quirks an eyebrow at him, because isn't foot tapping a bit middle school disciplinary. Tyler sighs, long and suffering because frankly he's over this conversation.
"Actually yeah teach, you are," Tyler smirks when the other students gasp or snicker or both around him. Mr. Lloyd looks like a tomato, but Tyler isn't done yet, his smirk turns into the shit-eating grin he perfected in the mirror over the weekend. "I mean it's not like we're ever going to use any of this anyways."
Mr. Lloyd nearly snarls at that comment. "You, Mr. Lockwood will use physics every day of your life because every aspect of your life involves some form of physics-" Tyler holds up a hand to silence his would be lecture and chuckles inwardly when he actually does. He shuts up so quick Tyler thinks he may very well have swallowed his tongue.
"Then maybe it's more that I don't care about physics. Or perhaps it's that you're a bad teacher, because you are, terrible really," Mr. Lloyd turns even redder. Almost like a boiled lobster. He doesn't grace Tyler with a proper response though just uncrosses his arms and points to the door, muttering 'office' under his breath. Tyler assumes it's supposed to seem menacing but he honestly looks more like he's going to cry and explode and not necessarily in that order.
"Finally," He swings his feet off the table, collects his things before standing in front of his clearly offended teacher. Tyler straightens up and mock salutes him, before he touches Mr. Lloyd's tie quickly with a, "Nice tie." He can feel Mr. Lloyd's eyes burning holes into his back as he saunters to the door.
He can feel everyone watching him as he leaves the classroom, and sure he's been popular his entire high school career but it's never felt like this, it's never felt so wrong it's been right; it's all together awesome really. There's an extra-pep in his step as he heads to the office.
…
Tyler's been sitting in the office for a total of 10 minutes and no-one has even so much as looked at him which is fine because he's here for a reason and it has nothing to do with his poor conduct in the classroom. Caroline has just sent him a head's up lover boy, and he's about to chuckle when the door opens and he's walking in.
Jeremy in all his gorgeous, messy hair, shy smile, big brown eyed glory—Fuck, he's an absolute miracle.
The younger boy doesn't seem to notice him because he doesn't stop or look or even acknowledge him when he walks to the secretary's desk. He's leaning over it talking to her in a way that makes Tyler's mouth water because Christ he's equally as gorgeous from behind, but Tyler knew that, he's always been a fan of Jeremy's backside.
His heart stutters in his chest as Jeremy laughs with the secretary because nothing should sound that heavenly and Tyler's totally not starting to think about how other things would sound from Jeremy's perfect pink lips. He also isn't staring, really he's not. But then Jeremy's turning around and Tyler doesn't miss the rapid flicker of emotion over Jeremy's face as he sees Tyler sitting there. He catches himself about to smile but bad boys don't smile so he doesn't because he's a bad, bad boy.
They stare at each other for what's probably a few seconds too long but Tyler can't tear his eyes away from that face. He knew this was going to be hard and he really wished he had flicked his glasses down while Jeremy wasn't facing him because they he could hide his gawking. Jeremy shifts on his feet as he shoves his hands in his pockets and clears his throat.
"Hey," Jeremy says and dammit that's the voice Tyler dreams about but what's worse is that it's talking, fucking talking to him.
He nearly breaks and starts babbling like the love sick moron he is but somehow contains it and settles for a simple jerk of his head that to Tyler is one part I'm a bad ass and 99 parts I don't trust my voice when you're this close to me.
Jeremy looks like he wants to say something else but Tyler doesn't give him the chance because he's up and out of his seat leaving the office without a second glance. It feels like he can actually breathe again once he's out in the hallway and he's hoping against hope that Caroline was right about the whole make him chase you thing. He's doubting himself though as stands alone in the middle of the hallways, he starts wringing his hands together and he's about to turn around and apologize for blowing Jeremy off like a dick when he hears footsteps behind him, God, please let it be Jeremy.
Tyler starts walking again not waiting for whoever is following him, slips his glasses to his eyes and hands in his pockets and pushes through the doors, outside to the side of the courtyard with the benches and picnic tables.
He settles himself at one of the benches and doesn't look up when Jeremy stops in front of him. It's a small victory to Tyler when he manages to stay calm as Jeremy sits down next to him and then doesn't flinch as he takes the cigarette from Jeremy's fingers as he offers it to him. He's not sure if this is in that plan of Caroline's, skipping class with the boy he's in love with, sharing a cigarette with the boy he's in love with…he hopes it is because he wouldn't be able to tear himself away from this moment even if he tried.
…
"Why were you in the office," Jeremy wonders as Tyler takes a long drag off the cigarette. Let's the smoke fill him up before he answers, he likes the idea of making Jeremy wait for his answer, likes that Jeremy's actually waiting for an answer.
Tyler blows out the smoke, (why doesn't he smoke regularly) before he shrugs his shoulders and glances at Jeremy sidelong to see him staring directly into Tyler's eyes, though the younger wouldn't know that because he can't see Tyler's eyes. Tyler can tell Jeremy wants an actual response and it's not like Tyler would ever be able to deny him that, bad boy or otherwise.
"Got in trouble," he mumbles around the cigarette as he goes for another hit. Jeremy looks stunned but Tyler doesn't let it bother him, or at least doesn't let it show. It actually really bothers Tyler that Jeremy looks bothered by his answer. "Bitched out Mr. Lloyd," Tyler adds after a few moments of slightly tense silence and Jeremy makes a sound of understanding that does funny things to Tyler's stomach, nods his head like he gets it and maybe he does or maybe Tyler isn't the only one acting here.
The younger boy shifts around, refuses the fag when Tyler offers it back to him. Tyler tries not to get lost in the pale expanse of Jeremy's perfect neck as he tips his head back to watch the clouds roll by overhead but it's safe to say Tyler might not be able to win for losing on that one. Jeremy murmurs something under his breath and Tyler doesn't quite catch it.
"What," Tyler asks and it doesn't sound nearly as friendly as he'd like it to when conversing with Jeremy.
"I didn't know, or I didn't think rather that you were like that," Tyler's stomach swoops and crashes to his toes as his heart leaps up into his throat and damn, it shouldn't feel like this, it shouldn't hurt like this. He's disappointed Jeremy and he doesn't know what to say to fix it. A war with himself rages in his head so he's silent for a while and Jeremy clearly thinks he's offended the older boy because he begins spluttering apologizes like he ran over his cat or something. Tyler all but forgets his current despisal of himself in favor of loving how adorable and flustered Jeremy looks as he tries to get back in Tyler's good graces.
"It's okay," Tyler cuts him off mid-way through his 13th apology and lets a smile crack as Jeremy's eyes widen in relief then as their color morphs into confusion. "It is?" Jeremy's eyebrows scrunch together and Tyler has to bite the inside of his lips to keep the full blown grin from breaking out across his face.
"Yeah I mean we aren't friends so, why would you know something like that," Tyler says with a shrug, "It's cool, don't worry about it."
Tyler's standing up and stomping out the last of the cigarette with the toe of his shoe before Jeremy can respond. Tyler takes a step back notices how Jeremy's leaning forward on the bench slightly with one leg pulled up and bent at the knee like he's trying to get closer to Tyler or to the space where Tyler was just sitting. He doesn't let himself linger on that though as he rolls his shoulders, pops his neck and puts his hands in his pockets, "Thanks for the smoke uh…Jessie?" He almost flinches as Jeremy's face falls but he figures a little brush off couldn't hurt right? It seems like a bad boy thing to do, not having the courtesy to know the name of the kid who just shared a smoke with you.
"Jeremy," the younger boy corrects quietly and Duh Tyler knows that but Jeremy doesn't know that Tyler knows. There's a smile on Jeremy's lips that Tyler assumes is meant to show him he wasn't bothered by the slip up. Tyler knows better though. You can't spend 2 years watching and pining and mooning after one person and not know certain things about them like for instance when a smile is fake, like that one right there.
"Right," Tyler utters and he lets a sheepish smile slip across his face just for Jeremy, "See you around," he pauses before adding, "Jeremy." He doesn't miss Jeremy's eyes twinkling and he hopes that Jeremy knows just how desperately Tyler wants to 'see him around.'
…
He's sitting a table outside at lunch, careful to avoid the area him and Jeremy had their moment—as Tyler's now calling it—this morning for the sake of his heart, well-being and overall sanity, when Caroline and Matt come running up to the table demanding details-right-the-fuck-now.
Tyler smiles and tells them word for word everything that happened and he knows he did a good job because he stunned his two best friends into silence which is very hard to do. He's knows that neither of them thought he had it in them so it's good on him.
"Tyler," Caroline squeaks but there's a proud smile tugging at her lips, "I didn't think you had it in you," Bingo! "I'm so proud of you baby," Caroline squeals and hops around the table to all but crush Tyler in a hug, a hug that Tyler returns with just as much gusto because he's been vibrating all morning wanting to share his good fortune with someone, preferably the two blondes right here. Matt is smiling so wide Tyler thinks his cheeks might shatter and he's getting up to join the hug too and if anyone's watching them this is sure to look rather strange.
"So what's next," Tyler wonders as Caroline releases him from her vice like grip. Him and Matt plop themselves at the table, watching her with wide, curious eyes as they wait with bated breath for Caroline to shed some more of her glorious light on the situation.
"Do you even need my help anymore," and that's one of the stupidest thing Tyler's ever heard, like ever. Why would she- "I mean you're doing fine on your own, do you really need me?" Tyler and Matt gape at her like she has 3 heads, 100 eyes and just suggested that Tyler is capable of doing this on his own. Oh wait…she did just say that…what the bloody fuck?!
"Are you serious…you're kid-" Caroline cuts Tyler off.
"Of course I am - I know you still need help, you're doing so well but that doesn't mean you'll be able to bag the little Gilbert all on your own. I'll be here to help as long as I feel you need my assistance." Tyler and Matt both let out a sigh of relief and Tyler's sure he's never enjoyed being insulted more…he doesn't even care that Caroline thinks he and Matt are hopeless without her, she's right in thinking that and Tyler will be the first to confirm it.
"So…what's next," Matt repeats Tyler's earlier question and the two boys lean in conspiratorially as Caroline does. They hunch over the table further as some of their other friends join them at the table giving them weird looks, being ignored as they try to tear them away from their avid scheming. They're too busy plotting and planning to notice the big brown eyes watching them (mainly Tyler) curiously from the shadowy of the school building.
…
It continues like that for a few days, Tyler dresses to kill, Jeremy watches not so subtly from somewhere on the school's campus and the three musketeers give themselves coronaries on a daily basis as they obsess over how well their plan is going. And in all honesty it's going exceedingly well, Caroline even said they were doing better than expected considering Tyler and Jeremy already had an interaction that consisted of more than 5 words and Tyler not fainting, so yeah things were going much better than expected.
The day after they shared a cigarette the younger boy initiated contact with Tyler who stayed strong and blew him off, not even breaking a sweat as he looked him over, turned and walked in the other direction. It would have been one of his prouder moments had Tyler not caught sight of Jeremy on the verge of tears as he left him behind. That sucked but Caroline seemed pleased, so all systems go.
Tyler assumes from what Caroline has told him that the seed's been planted—the seed being Tyler dressing to impress, dressing to get Jeremy's attention—and every day after that is just getting the younger boy more and more interested so he falls deeper and deeper under Tyler's spell of surefire BA-ness.
Things escalate over the next couple of weeks and soon the act is almost second nature. He doesn't have to think about what to say to seem like a douche he just says it, Caroline and Matt being the only exceptions. Teachers stop questioning him when he misses assignments or comes into class 30 minutes late and no one says anything when he ditches class altogether. He's getting more attention now too which isn't anything foreign to him but now it's flipped so instead of people wanting him to talk to them or stop at their locker its turned into them wanting Tyler to ignore them, blow them off like their nothing because that would mean they're being treated like nothing by Tyler Lockwood and that's awesome. He finds himself smoking of his own volition because he actually quite enjoys it, drinking more and partying harder. He's even found himself 'mingling' with the druggies and punks (which he actually doesn't mind nearly as much as he probably should. They're a lot of fun, good people really and he sees why Jeremy likes them so much. Being friends with Jeremy's group is probably the only thing Tyler doesn't have to fake or act to pull off because it's all really genuine as far as that's concerned,) Jeremy's friends, behind the school during breaks and classes he's supposed to be in but seriously could care less about. If Jeremy is already there, Tyler ignores him and he always makes a point to leave abruptly if Jeremy shows up unexpectedly.
One time however he did stray from his norm of prick like behavior with the hope that Jeremy didn't give up on him completely. Jeremy had just strolled up casually to his group of friends plus Tyler, his friend Zac in the middle of a story Tyler was actually really enjoying as the younger boy sat down cautiously next to Spencer, wary of the fact that Tyler could bolt at any moment. Tyler didn't though, surprising everyone, especially Jeremy.
He'd chuckled almost imperceptibly at the funny parts and let a lazy smile settle on his face after it ended. Zac was asking him a question that majority of the group was listening to when Matt came strolling over, football in hand and few of the football guys in tow.
"Hey guys…Ty, pickup game, you in," Matt spins the ball around between his hands, friendly guy that he is smiles at everyone, lingering on Jeremy who is watching Tyler like he needs to in order to breathe as the roll-up he's holding burns down between his fingers.
Tyler smirks and nods, "You know me better than that Mattie-cake," Matt laughs as Tyler stands. He's about to walk away with his friends when it hits him. He should play this up.
He shrugs out of his jacket smoothly, placing it on one of the table tops and it is merely coincidence that Jeremy is sitting on top of that table. Tyler places it next to the brunette before raising his arms above his head (he's glad he wore the really tight black shirt today,) stretching like a cat after a nap, fully aware of the show he's giving Jeremy (who's all but drooling.) As he drops his arms back down to his sides he catches the younger's eyes who averts them quickly, blushing furiously. Jeremy chances a look up at Tyler to see him still standing there with a smirk on his face. Tyler drops a wink at him before turning to Matt and walking off to the grassy area of the courtyard.
Matt is stifling chuckles but once they pass the trashcans he lets out a wild guffaw that makes Tyler smile proudly. The other guys are laughing too (a few of Tyler's teammates have pieced together what the three amigos are up to, that led to a very rowdy practice) as they start passing the ball around them.
"You are so bad," Matt says through his laughter, tossing an arm around Tyler's shoulders companionably.
"Isn't that kind of the point," Tyler wonders as he nudges his best friend in the side.
"You nearly gave the poor kid a heart attack," Tyler smiles so wide it hurts his cheeks and pride is radiating off of him in waves.
"Again isn't that kind of the point. Gimme," He opens his hands for the ball, which he catches with ease before taking off around the courtyard, putting on a good display in case Jeremy's still watching, (which he is). He can't wait to tell Caroline about this one.
That incident aside it all looks very cold otherwise but that's the point and he's assuming the plan is doing its job when the younger boy confronts him about his behavior.
…
Jeremy had just shown up at the picnic table his friends and Tyler had been lounging across smoking their cigarettes casually when Tyler starts to stir. He gets up from the table, stomps out the butt of his cigarette, tossing a nod and a noncommittal thanks to his new friends before he starts walking away. This must be really irk Jeremy because he's calling out to Tyler to stop from across the courtyard. "You don't like me very much do you?" Jeremy says to Tyler's back.
Tyler turns around slowly, eyes and face void of all emotion except mild annoyance, "Excuse me," he says flatly.
"You don't like me…do you?" Jeremy repeats and looks very put out while he says it. Tyler hates the kicked puppy look Jeremy adopts as he answers his question. "I don't think I know you well enough to really have an opinion of you," Tyler says and it's such bullshit he wants to scream.
Both of their frowns deepen, Tyler's looking spiteful while Jeremy's' just looks dejected. Tyler's brows scrunch together before raising up into his hairline and he decides to twist the knife he already has in the younger boy's back.
"Why do you care that I might not like you?" He's careful to make it sound like the possibility of him not liking Jeremy is more probable than him actually liking him, as if the thought repulses him.
Jeremy looks stunned at the question, stutters out quietly, "I-I don't…I don't."
Tyler nods his head but looks at Jeremy likes he's sizing him up when really he's only admiring his perfect bone structure and tortured eyes (that part hurts like nothing else ever will,) Jeremy avoids his gaze the whole time, shrinking away in his embarrassment. "Good, cause you shouldn't."
Tyler's taking off before Jeremy can answer and per usual he takes that moment to disgust himself for how's he's treating the man he loves.
…
Its mid-morning break on a Thursday and the three of them are standing at Caroline's locker just chatting quietly to each other, not talking about anything of importance (Jeremy) because Andy, Steven and Henry (some Matt and Tyler's football buddies) along with Henry's girlfriend Mollie, are there as well. Tyler has his back against the lockers but he isn't really paying any attention to who's passing them but rather watching Caroline preen over Matt with a smile on both their faces before she moves onto Tyler and is fixing his hair and his jacket. He doesn't see Jeremy and one of his friends, Spencer (decent guy by all accounts, shared his smokes with Tyler a time or two) approach but it's not like he would've been able to do anything about it since he still feels like he's going to pass out.
Jeremy stops in front of them, sort of off to the side behind Caroline but still in perfect view of Tyler who appreciates with every ounce of his being how good Jeremy looks in those low hanging jeans and dark gray shirt. Tyler doesn't smile or acknowledge Jeremy's presence but almost loses it when Caroline jumps and squeals as Jeremy speaks from behind her.
"Hey," Tyler's heart thrums rapidly in his chest at Jeremy's melodic voice directed at him. He doesn't need to look at Caroline to know what to do because he'd like to think he's got the basic cool guy interaction attitude down even though he's an absolute wreck on the inside, even after all this time. He gives a short nod and a raise of his eyebrows towards the younger boy but doesn't meet his eyes, "Hey Spencer," even Tyler can feel what a low blow that is as he goes back to acting as if he's too interested in the people passing by.
Jeremy looks genuinely gutted by this as he turns briefly to his friend who looks guilty as sin, eyes apologizing rapidly for something he had absolutely no control over. Jeremy appears to take a moment or two to just breathe and Spencer moves to whisper something in his ear that Tyler doesn't hear, that Tyler isn't even sure he wants to have heard because Jeremy smiles at it and that makes his stomach clench violently.
"So there's uh, there's a party Friday night by the lake, if you want to come, all of you," Jeremy gestures to everyone but his eyes never leave Tyler's face which still hasn't turned to face him. Andy says something short about partying with the burnouts but Matt elbows him and Caroline shoots him a vicious look, he shuts up fast. Steven adds something about the potheads having the best parties because they have the best drugs and always get the best booze. The others say yes and Tyler notices how Matt and Caroline still haven't answered yet.
Tyler risks a glance up to see Jeremy staring at him intently, big eyes nearly begging, lower lip trapped between his perfect white teeth and it's enough to make Tyler want to fall to his knees and say yes, a thousand times yes, yes for the rest of his life. But he doesn't, he lets his eyelids fall slightly, squinted partially as he watches everything with an almost brooding air to him.
"No thanks," Tyler says casually and feels his lips twitch when Caroline winks at him.
Jeremy's face falls and his friend Spencer steps up closer to him which makes Tyler's stomach twist again. He nearly growls at the other punk because he shouldn't be standing that close, Tyler doesn't like that he's standing that close to Jeremy.
"Oh, okay," Jeremy mutters softly, eyes on the floor, Tyler can tell he's trying (and failing,) to hide his disappointment.
"Thanks for the offer though Jared," Tyler replies to Jeremy's frown, watches as it deepens at the screw up of his name for the second time since they've started running in the same circle. Spencer gasps, Matt bites his lip to contain his smile and Caroline fist pumps off to the side, by her hip so Jeremy can't see. "See you around," Tyler finishes with the typical response before brushing between Jeremy and Spencer as he walks by, making sure to press himself up against Jeremy's side as he passes.
He's walking away but he hears how Jeremy's broken voice whispers, "It's Jeremy," and that's it for Tyler he can't take it anymore.
He runs.
…
Its cooler outside than it was this morning and Tyler can feel the rain in the air. He's slumping down the cold brick wall of the building when Caroline and Matt burst through the side door Tyler had fallen out of mere moments before.
"That was awesome," Caroline cheers in her usual bubbly tone. Something snaps in Tyler that makes him want to groan and throw something at her for being so peppy about this, especially when you consider everything he has to do, all the hurt he has to cause the younger boy in order for this to work.
"Why so down Ty, that was great," Matt asks voice softer than Caroline's which is comforting as he comes up to stand next to Tyler against the wall.
"Yeah it was great, great and awesome and I'm an absolute douche but how does any of this," Tyler tugs at his clothes very agitatedly, "Justify hurting Jeremy." Tyler sighs brokenly as crumples to the ground. "I can't stand this. I can't stand hurting him, seeing his face when I screw up his name when we all know I know what his name is. I hate that it's me that's making him upset, I hate what I'm doing to him…Caroline there has to be another way to do this, please. Please, Care I can't do this anymore!"
"That's the point Tyler-"
"Is hurting him the point?!" Tyler cries with outrage heavy in his voice. He curls himself over his knees, burying his face in his hands as he heaves several labored breaths.
"Well no," Caroline starts, "But this is part of it. Tyler listen to me, you have to make him hate you…make him hate you just enough to make him want you."
"Are we even sure this is what he wants? I mean how…how do we know this," Matt gestures to Tyler's ensemble quickly like it addresses the whole situation and the bitch he's become, "Is what Jeremy is looking for?" Tyler lifts his head out of his arms and nods rapidly because yeah, that's a good question!
Caroline sighs heavily as she fixes them with an unimpressed look that Tyler would normally be swayed by but isn't right now. He's losing it; maybe he's already lost it. Either way he needs proof, evidence, reasons, anything that can show him that everything he's done will be worth it, he can't imagine their efforts being all for not.
He pushes himself up off the ground, getting up in Caroline's space as he narrows his eyes dangerously which actually makes the blonde take a cautious step back. "You give me proof Caroline; give me something because I'm telling you right now I'm not doing this anymore without any assurance. I refuse to keep hurting him and I will not keep breaking his heart if this isn't what he really wants."
"Isn't that proof enough for you though?"
"What," Tyler's never been more frustrated and more pissed off with Caroline than he is at this very moment and believe him they've had some bad moments.
"That you're breaking his heart. Every time you reject him or push him away or screw up his name you're breaking his heart, doesn't that show you that he wants you Tyler…doesn't that prove it. You can't break someone's heart if they haven't given it to you to break…get it?"
Tyler thinks about this for a moment, and maybe she does have a point. Jeremy wouldn't be so affected, wouldn't seem so ruined every time Tyler brushed him off if he wasn't into him in a way that left him upset by Tyler's rejection so that only left one logical possibility.
Jeremy likes him.
Jeremy really likes him.
It worked…the fucking plan worked. Well shit.
He collapses back to the ground in a heap.
He stares up at Caroline absolutely dumbfounded, since when do things like this actually work out, it feels like something out of a silly rom-com she's made him and Matt watch a hundred times. Caroline fixes them with a smug smile and when Tyler looks over at his best friend he sees him collapsed against the wall too, sitting on the ground looking equally as stunned as Tyler is. They really should have had more faith but whatever, it worked!
But now he has to fix this because Jeremy probably thinks he hates him which isn't conducive of a blossoming romance at all, Tyler doesn't need to be a relationship expert to know that.
Caroline must have sensed that she stunned the boys into silence because she says, "Alright you can stop gaping I know I'm good." Tyler and Matt turn to each other slowly and Matt rolls his eyes, obviously coming out of his stupor. Tyler cracks a smile.
"So now before you ask…we woo him," Caroline chirps. Tyler hopes it's as easy as she makes it sound because he's not too con-
"How the hell is that going to work," Thank you Matt, "Jeremy probably thinks Tyler is a right fucker, sorry man, not to mention he probably detests him. 'Wooing' him isn't going to be that easy."
"Au contraire Mattie dear, this is actually exactly what we want. Jeremy thinks Tyler could care less about him right?" Both Matt and Tyler nod their heads, Tyler's eyes full of guilt and self-hatred for what he has turned into, for what he's done. She's been right so far however so, might as well give Caroline the benefit of the doubt. "Right, so when Tyler starts showing even the slightest bit of interest Jeremy's going to soak it up like a sponge. He thinks Tyler doesn't care so when Tyler proves him wrong he'll be floored and easily woo-able."
Okay that makes sense.
"And before you say it," Caroline cuts Matt of mid-breath, poor guy, "You're going to that party." Tyler's heart stops, yes he's going to the party, the party Jeremy invited him to but on the other hand…no he can't go to that party without his best friends, he needs them! But Caroline being Caroline senses his inner turmoil, "Well we're going to that party as in all of us."
Tyler lets out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He figures it's not really worth discussing it further since they'll probably hang out after school to plan outfits and such (Christ, Caroline is rubbing off on him,) besides Tyler really doesn't have any more fight left in him. He needs a nap.
And Matt's gentle but secure grip around his shoulder as he steadies him when he stands tells Tyler that his best friend is thinking the exact same thing.
…
They show up at the party Friday night unannounced, an hour and a half late but they look good when they step out of Tyler's black mustang. Tyler's sporting his new favorite dark jeans, a tight black t-shirt and the leather jacket that's become somewhat of a tattoo, he's foregone the sunglasses because Jeremy probably already thinks he's an ass there's no need to add tool to that list as well.
Matt hands him a drink as they stand by the coolers filled to the brim with all different brews, Caroline is busy surveying the area and those in attendance, clearly she spots someone of interest because she perks up. She's spinning towards them and chattering away before Tyler can ask who was so exciting.
"Okay, so remember friendly but not entirely open. Stay aloof but keep him interested. Calm, cool, collected…you've got this baby. Come on Mattie," Caroline's taking off before Tyler can get a word in edge-wise. He spins and watches them practically run away, scratches his head as he takes a tentative sip of his beer. He nearly chokes on it when-
"You showed up."
He meets a shy smile and bright brown eyes when he turns around, Jeremy is all but glowing. Tyler nods his head smoothly. An awkward silence spans between them as Jeremy stuffs his hands in his pockets and bites his lip in a way that makes Tyler want to pounce on him, but seriously when does Tyler not want to pounce on Jeremy. He looks good tonight, he always does but, he's got on black jeans, tight black jeans with a faded t-shirt of a band that Tyler couldn't place if his life depended on it that's fitted and snug across his chest and simple black zip up hoodie that's hanging open casually. He's got a beanie on his head (it could very well be purple but Tyler can't really tell in the barely there, nonexistent light,) and the hair that he cut recently so it's a bit shorter (and does a cute swoop thing over his forehead that Tyler finds positively endearing,) is sticking out from underneath just barely, Tyler finds it adorable and perfect, everything about Jeremy is perfect.
"So," the younger boy is getting closer walking towards him and great now Tyler can't breathe. He's standing next to him, grabbing a beer, oh yeah. Standing next to the cooler, right, "You showed up-"
"You already said that," Tyler says and it's light, almost playful and exactly the way he always wants to sound when talking to Jeremy. The younger boy smiles wider as his eyes look down, avert shyly making Tyler's stomach flip.
"You cut me off," Tyler bites his lip to contain the smile but lets his lips quirk a little bit at least. "As I was saying, you showed up…something change your mind?"
He shrugs but it's not like the way it's been all week long, it's more companionable. He remembers friendly but not too open, aloof but entertaining…okay. "I didn't have anything better to do," Jeremy's face falls, okay so that wasn't the right thing to say, "And I was rude the other day, so I thought this was as good a way as any to make it up to you."
This seems to appease the other boy as he's grinning at him like a goof, Tyler lets his lip go so a smile slips onto his face as well, a real smile.
"So what's this I hear about awesome drugs?"
Jeremy lets out a laugh, that tinkling laugh that sets Tyler's insides on fire and they're both left catching their breath albeit for entirely different reasons.
"Well I know a guy who's got some pretty awesome pot…if you're interested." It's amazing how Jeremy can flip on a dime, he's confident; impish even but then he becomes so unsure and timid just like that. Tyler assumes it's warranted considering how he's been treating Jeremy these last few days. He's well within his rights to be cautious and guarded around Tyler.
Tyler nods and Jeremy cocks his head towards the banks of the lake before he downs his drink with a practiced ease that Tyler envies slightly. He follows suit but it isn't nearly as easy as Jeremy made it look, he's out of practice but the plan has taken up majority of his party time, or at least that's what he'll tel anyone who asks him about it.
They start walking, there's space between them so breathing isn't insanely difficult when it hits him like a ton of bricks that him and Jeremy were totally just flirting…flirting…with each other.
Boo-yah!
…
"Good right," Jeremy giggles as Tyler breathes out the smoke from the joint that Jeremy's holding lightly in front of Tyler's lips. Tyler smiles and it doesn't seem too wide for this "bad boy" he's become.
"Very good," Tyler sighs as he leans back on his elbows. They're far enough from the party that the music is just a gentle hum in the background and everyone's laughter is merely white noise to their ears. Jeremy's toes are digging into the sand from where he's kicked off his shoes, as he leans back on one hand next to Tyler, bringing the joint to his own lips this time.
"Yeah my friends love it; they've affectionately started calling it polka dot pot because I was wearing polka dot boxers the day I made it." Jeremy laughs at this like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard while Tyler finds himself having a hard time comprehending that sentence. There was just so much, too much for him to wrap his head around. First he's talking about the friends that Tyler is ridiculously jealous of because they get to spend time with Jeremy, no questions asked, then he's on to underwear and that is definitely not a safe place for Tyler's mind to wander…oh and the day he made it, made this particular blend…of pot…so he's a Cannabis connoisseur, no biggie.
He doesn't answer, doesn't know how to.
They continue to pass the joint back and forth till there is nothing left and Jeremy is busy rolling up another for them to share and the fact that they're sharing is almost too much, that his mouth is wrapping around something that has just been between Jeremy's perfect pouty lip does nearly painful things to Tyler's insides.
They are half way through their 3rd roll-up when Jeremy procures a bag with a bottle of top notch whiskey (something that Tyler would expect to find in the liquor cabinet in his father's office,) and offering it over to Tyler. He takes a few sips and it's some of the best stuff he's had in a long time, maybe even better than the stuff his father keeps under lock and key.
Between the pot and the whiskey Tyler feels loose and hazy and happy and apparently Jeremy does too because he's got this silly smile on his face and his eyes are shining much more than they normally do. Tyler begins to wonder if those few gulps of whiskey he just watched Jeremy take were the first bits of alcohol he's consumed. The younger boy looks much more relaxed than he should be or at least more so than Tyler expected him to be. It's very possible that he had a few beers before Tyler arrived to help himself ease up a little bit.
The more Tyler thinks on it though the more he wishes he hadn't because the more he becomes sure of the fact that Jeremy is indeed drunk, (or tipsy but he's inebriated on some level that's for sure.) It upsets Tyler in way it shouldn't because he has absolutely no room to judge Jeremy's behavior when Tyler has been anyone but himself these last few weeks. If Jeremy's drunk it really only means he was having a good time at the party and that's not something Tyler can be upset with him for. Jeremy was really only letting himself have a good time because he believed Tyler wouldn't show up, so he didn't hold out hope and just enjoyed the party without letting Tyler be a hindrance on his fun. Tyler should be happy that Jeremy could do that but it does bother Tyler (to no end it bothers him,) that they are finally having a real, honest to goodness interaction and Jeremy is anything but sober. They could finally be making some headway in their relationship and Jeremy isn't of sound mind, and he certainly won't be able to remember any progress they may make come tomorrow.
Tyler takes a moment to stare into Jeremy's mesmerizing brown eyes that are clouded with that telltale haze of alcohol intoxication and his smile is very clearly drug induced, that hurts but he really can't blame him. The thing that stings though is that this feels like Jeremy handing Tyler's behavior right back to him. This isn't Jeremy…and it hurts because this is the most real Tyler has been in weeks, this is Tyler, granted he wouldn't generally wear these clothes but still it's him and he's here while Jeremy isn't, not in the way Tyler wants him to be, needs him to be.
It all seems to piece itself together after he comes to this conclusion. Jeremy was able to be so confident and flirty because he had a good dose of liquid courage pumping through his veins, the 3 joints they smoked together didn't hurt either but still. Tyler could go all out with the wooing but what good would it do really when Jeremy would be too hung-over and groggy to remember any detail, big or small when he wakes up tomorrow.
He decides to stop thinking about it because he he's beginning to feel like he's suffocating and he can't deal with this, not now. It feels like 3 steps backwards and again like all the work he's done has been for nothing.
Tyler sits up on his hands and Jeremy looks over a little stunned by the sudden movement but he relaxes back into that sated smile that Tyler's starting to resent (and he hates that.) He's about to get up, excuse himself when a hand, Jeremy's hand connects with his chest and is pushing him back down. Suddenly he has an eager brunette on top of him, straddling his waist and it's simultaneously exactly and not at all what he wants. It's wrong, all wrong; he hates it, hates all of this, and hates himself.
Jeremy smiles mischievously down at him, eyes glinting with something Tyler doesn't want to know, doesn't want to know under these circumstances, not like this. There are lips (oh shit those lips,) on his neck working in the exact way Tyler knew he would but it's not right. He thinks briefly how completely effortless, how utterly simple it would be to give himself over to this and to Jeremy and let himself have this moment because he wants it but he knows he can't and by some strange power he's able to push Jeremy off.
He can hardly stomach the disgruntled and offended look Jeremy throws him as he stands up, dusts his clothes off leaving his love slumped over on the rocky shore of the lake.
"What's wrong," Jeremy slurs, the alcohol is clearing working. He's already up on his knees crawling over to Tyler slowly, (Tyler needs more than his two hands to count how many wet dreams he's had that start or lead to this scene right here,) and it takes every ounce of will power to take that step back and away from the other.
Jeremy clearly senses Tyler hesitation now and his eyes begin to mist over, he better not cry, Tyler thinks but he knows somewhere inside him that Jeremy is totally going to cry. "You don't want me?" And Christ, why did he have to be so damn sweet looking, he's looks so broken and vulnerable and Tyler's sure there has never been a more cruel and sadistic form of torture than what he's enduring right here, right now. Tyler wants him, fucking hell does he want him, he just doesn't want him like this, he can't want him like this.
"No, no it's not that it's just…Jesus-" Tyler huffs and doesn't really know what to say to make this sound okay, make this better. "I just can't do this, not here, not now, not like this!" There's a heavy desperation in his voice that Tyler really can't be arsed to care about.
"Please…please, I'm sorry I just…I can't, I'm sorry."
There's a completely wrecked sob from behind him that breaks Tyler's heart in two as he walks away but somewhere inside of him he knows that this was the right thing to do. This isn't how they should start; isn't how it's supposed to happen for them. So yeah he knows somewhere inside of him this is the right thing to do he just isn't sure where that "somewhere" is.
…
Tyler's leaning up against the side of his car still reeling from…well from everything. He's waiting, rather impatiently for Caroline and Matt so he can get the fuck out of here but they're sure taking they're sweet time about it. There are figures approaching him but he can't quite make them out through the darkness, it doesn't look like blonde hair but there are two of them so…
They're in front of him and definitely not Caroline and Matt; instead it's a rather pissed off Elena Gilbert and Stefan who looks unsure about this whole thing and maybe a bit scared, actually a lot scared as he watches his girlfriend with skeptical eyes. He can only assume (and he figures it's a pretty good assumption judging by how absolutely livid Elena looks,) that Jeremy's told her everything, or at least enough for her to want to rip Tyler to shreds and honestly, right now, he would probably let her. She looks a lot like her brother (she's pretty like him but definitely isn't, at least not in Tyler's opinion, devastatingly gorgeous like Jeremy is) but her eyes hold a fire and an agenda that Jeremy's beautiful color never could and Tyler knows he has every reason to be afraid of her right now. God where are Caroline and Matt.
Stefan grabs Elena's arm to try and pull her back, almost like he's trying to tame the beast but she isn't having any of that as she glares up at her boyfriend who shrinks under her gaze. Tyler stifles a chuckle. It's obvious who wears the pants in their relationship not that Tyler has any room to judge, he'd be just a whipped for Jeremy (he kind of already is,) as Stefan is for Elena.
Elena shakes him off and stops right in front of Tyler who's not entirely sure what to do with himself so he doesn't do anything and stays propped against his car with his arms crossed over his chest. Icy, dangerous eyes pierce his own and Tyler feels like she can see every secret he's ever had and that scares the shit out of him. She points an accusatory finger at him and Tyler doesn't have any room to shy away or anywhere to escape to but boy-oh-boy did he wish he did.
"Listen to me, Tyler Lockwood," Christ her voice is just as harsh as her eyes, Caroline is friends with this chick? "I don't know what you're playing at but it needs to stop. Where do you get off hurting people the way you do? Maybe it's all just for kicks, if it is fine but find someone else to mess with and leave my brother alone!"
"Elena…I-"
"I warned Jeremy about shit like this, and guys like you although I didn't think that warning would ever apply to you specifically Tyler. I didn't ever think you'd be like this but now I see how it is, you're just like all the other dickhead guys out there…you want one thing and one thing only. Stubborn ass that he is though didn't listen to me and now look where that's landed him. Leave him alone Tyler, I mean it," her lips curl into a rather unattractive snarl. She lowers her voice so it's dangerous and menacing, "If you think even for a second that I won't destroy you if you keep messing with him, well let's just say that Jeremy's pissed off friends will be the least of your worries." Then just like that the venom dissolved and a softer Elena takes over. There's the pretty sister, gentle protector, guardian without the claws that Tyler's seen around campus preening her brother with a sweet motherly affection. "He's been hurt so many times Tyler and I will not watch as it happens again, I just won't."
Tyler stands up from the car, speaking vehemently so she understands, "Elena I would never, never hurt him."
"You already have," and that feels like a bullet through his chest, suddenly he can't breathe because she's right. Thursday afternoon comes rushing back to him, hearing it from someone else's mouth makes it sting that much more and he's never hated this stupid plan more.
"I know I have…but,"
"Hey guys, Lena, Stefan, what's going on?" Tyler gets cut off by Caroline's approach.
Nobody answers and Caroline stands there looking oddly put out and entirely confused. Matt quirks an eyebrow at Tyler but he doesn't know how to respond in a way that wouldn't take half the night and a few more beers.
"Elena," Tyler starts and she turns back to him with an annoyed expression, "I know I've hurt Jeremy and believe me I hate myself for it but I'm going to fix it."
"No you aren't," Elena hisses and Stefan grabs her around the waist to keep her from lunging at him, Matt comes to stand next to Tyler while Caroline crosses her arms over her chest. "You stay away from him Tyler, you've done enough."
Caroline makes a sound of understanding, "We're not done yet though." Tyler mentally face-palms, that sounded so horrible and exactly what Elena was talking about.
Elena's eyes widen at Caroline who looks completely unfazed. She whips her head around to Tyler then back to Caroline, to Matt then to Stefan. "You're all…I told you it was a game to him," she spits as she looks towards Stefan.
"It's not a game," Caroline argues almost indignantly but then she softens as a look a pride comes over her features, "It's an elaborate multi-step plan that's in its adolescent stages…like I said we aren't done yet though."
Elena scoffs loudly, shock painted all over her face at her friend's explanation. Tyler glares at Caroline while Matt shakes his head tiredly. "Caroline," Tyler starts; she looks at him expectantly, "Stop talking." Her face falls almost comically.
"A plan," Stefan wonders but he doesn't sound as mad as Elena does when she speaks, "A plan to break my little brothers' heart! He isn't a toy Tyler! His heart isn't some silly little play thing for you to do as you please with then toss away like it's a piece of garbage!"
"No it's not anything like that-"
"Really," she cries, "Because it sure sounds like-"
"I'm in love with him!"
Elena looks taken aback, a whole new level of shock. Caroline looks stunned too but not unhappy, Matt looks proud and pleased and Stefan doesn't look surprised but why should he be, everyone knows about his crush.
"What," she squeaks once she's composed herself, "You can't…you don't-"
"I do," Tyler cuts her off. She shakes her head eyes wide, looking like a thought is stuck in her throat. "I've been in love with Jeremy since he was a freshman."
"But…that's, that's not-"
Matt chokes loudly, exaggerated, making them all jump, "Wait a fucking second…you really didn't know." Elena shakes her head mechanically. "I thought everyone knew," Matt murmurs quietly as he looks at Tyler with a funny look on his face. Tyler shrugs his shoulder with a laugh, he thought everyone knew too, guess not.
Elena looks back to Stefan and he just smiles, her mouth is agape when she looks back at three of them. She clears her throat looking a little embarrassed, "So…" Elena gestures to Tyler. He looks down to himself, dark clothes and leather jacket, he's so comfortable in these clothes he completely forgot he was wearing something that would be considered 'not him.'
"This," he pulls at his jacket, drags a hand through his hair, "Is all for him."
"But why," Stefan speaks, his voice showing the confusion that isn't present on his face. Caroline straightens up because this is where she comes into play. "Bad boy," she smiles like it's the most obvious thing ever as she points to Tyler, "That's what Jeremy wants, so that's what we made Tyler into."
Elena smiles slightly as she watches Caroline like she's finally gone off the deep end. "Why not just be yourself." Tyler considers this but doesn't answer as he thinks about it. Elena softens completely as she watches Tyler as he thinks about her words, she pats him on the shoulder before she's taking Stefan's hand and turning to leave.
Tyler turns to Matt who pulls him into a one armed hug. They start getting into the car when Elena calls out to him, "Lose the bad boy, he'll like you better if you show him you…trust me!" She tosses him a smile and wave before continuing on her way with Stefan on her arm.
He gets into the car to Matt beaming and Caroline looking a little affronted. Tyler takes off the leather jacket and places in on the seat between him and Matt as he starts the car, he can't stop thinking about what Elena said the whole way home.
…
Tyler couldn't stop thinking about Elena's words all weekend long so that's why he's dressed in his own, his own normal clothes Monday morning for school. The jeans are the same dark ones he's become rather fond of but that's it, he almost broke down and brought the leather jacket but he stayed strong, bad boy is gone. If Jeremy's going to be with him, going to love him, he's going to love Tyler, the real Tyler not some dolled up manufactured version of him.
Caroline meets him at his car looking disappointed that her plan didn't get to be finished; he pulls her into a hug which seems to soothe her greatly. Matt is there in a flash with a few of the football guys on his heels and doesn't hesitate in pulling his best friend into a tight hug which Tyler returns with full force. He didn't realize how much he missed being himself. It's like he couldn't breathe properly before and now that he's back to normal there's no shortage of oxygen to his weary lungs.
They fall into the usual conversation about practices and the next game when Elena pushes her way through their bodies, Stefan watching with a smile mere feet away (he's always with her, like a puppy,) as she stops in front of Tyler. The guys look at her strangely like they're wondering why the hell she's here but Elena pays them zero mind which Tyler finds quite funny. She smiles brightly at him and her eyes twinkle in a way that reminds Tyler of Jeremy.
"Better," is all she says in response to his outfit, she takes his arm and begins pulling him in the direction of the picnic tables where Jeremy and his friends hang out before the morning bell. They weave in and out of the clusters of students mingling before their first classes and are stopping at the edge of the pavement where it turns into grass and the benches and tables sit.
She spins him around so his back is towards the people in the picnic area but he can see all the people in the parking lot watching them curiously. He's about to ask what she's doing when she takes his face in her hands and makes sure he's focused on her. "Okay…just be yourself. Be Tyler, he'll love you."
"Wait what," Tyler asks frantically, he's panicking. She can't be serious, he can't just talk to him as himself; Jeremy will hate him. "Hey," she grabs his shoulders, shakes him shortly, "It's gonna be fine. You're going to be fine. He's going to love you, this you," he's about to protest when she cuts him off.
"I'm his sister, if anyone knows him; don't you think it would be me? Exactly, so trust me Tyler, he's going to be all over this and you as long as you're…you."
"Elena, I can't d-"
"You can Tyler and you will," She peaks over his shoulder with a smile and winks at someone but doesn't let him turn around to see who, "You're not the only with a secret crush Tyler." Elena doesn't give him time to question as she spins him around and pushes him towards the tables. The first thing he sees is Jeremy, in the middle of his friends, watching him, all of them; everyone is watching him with interest. He reminds himself to breathe as he puts his hands in his pockets and tries to remember how to walk, one foot in front of the other.
He's never realized how intimidating this group of people can be until this very moment standing in front of them with their eyes judging him as they all angle themselves in front of Jeremy, protecting their friend from big bad Tyler, but considering how he's acted recently, this last week especially, he can't necessarily blame them.
"Hey," Tyler says quietly eyes locked with Jeremy's, they look happy while still being a little guarded.
"What do you want," Spencer, taunts him and it's clear to Tyler that Elena wasn't the only one Jeremy told about his shut down at the party.
"Spence stop it, its okay," Jeremy assures his friend who turns around to look at him and they have a silent conversation before Jeremy takes a few steps towards Tyler, his lips twitch softly but he doesn't smile fully or say anything. Tyler supposes that's his cue.
"Okay, I guess I should start by saying I'm sorry because I've been an ass to you," Tyler figures that's as good a place as any to start.
"Yeah you just sort of took off on Friday…" Tyler sees how Jeremy cringes because they both know the reason Tyler "took off" on Friday. But he also notices that Jeremy says it like that's the only thing Tyler's done wrong in the last month. Like Tyler doesn't have 101 other things to be sorry for, as if that's the only thing he feels Tyler needs to apologize for…as if Tyler needed another reason to love him.
"No, no, well I'm sorry for that too but I'm sorry in general because I've been horrible and you didn't deserve how I've been treating you. And I'm sorry that I've hurt you because that was never what I wanted, I never intended to hurt you the way I did. That's not me at all, I swear. None of that was me…I'm not that guy."
Jeremy looks at him for a moment, his eyebrows scrunch together in that way that Tyler has always loved. "So this," the younger boy gestures to Tyler's plain, button down shirt with the top few buttons open, jeans and casual Dockers, "Is you, the real you?"
Tyler glances down at himself, "Yup, this is me…ta-da," he says as he spreads his arms out to the side, earning the smile he was hoping for from the other boy. He deflates slightly, looking sheepish when he asks, "How much did your sister tell you?"
"Not a whole lot," Jeremy shrugs, "Just that the whole dark clothes, chain smoking, class ditching thing isn't you." Tyler nods his head in affirmation. "But if it wasn't you then why'd you do it?"
"I wanted you to notice me and see me and be interested in me." He lifts his shoulders, shakes his head because this is where it could all fall apart for him, this is where he becomes pathetic. He becomes extremely aware of the fact that they have the entire student body and probably a few teachers as an audience to this but at the same time he doesn't really care. He's determined to make this better, audience be damned. "So I changed because I thought that was what you wanted. I thought you wanted a "bad boy" and I just wanted to be what you wanted so I became that for you. I wanted to be bad enough for you…Christ it sounds so stupid now that I say it out loud," Tyler runs a hand roughly through his hand as he looks cautiously at Jeremy. "But seriously, I would've done anything, become anything for you and now I look like an idiot."
"No, no you don't but Tyler," Jeremy shakes his head but it seems fond in a way that makes Tyler's heart swell, "There are definitely easier ways to get my attention," Jeremy looks completely shocked and Tyler's assuming it's as a result of what he just said. "Why didn't you just talk to me?"
Tyler shuffles his feet, looking down at the ground, "I was nervous and I would have never known what to say. It ended up being easier talking to you while I wasn't really me, that doesn't make sense does it?" Jeremy chuckles softly making Tyler smile, "It was easier acting like someone I wasn't around you than it ever was just being myself. In case you didn't notice I didn't ever talk to you before I did any of that."
"You hardly talked to me after you did that."
"Yeah I know, see I'm not good at this," Tyler huffs to himself before taking several steps forward so he's right in front of the younger boy. "I'm just such a fool when it comes to you and that's, this, right here, what I'm doing right now was exactly what I was afraid of. I'm making a complete fool of myself." He's tugging at his hair, turning back and forth frantically while the younger watches him with concern.
"Tyler," Jeremy touches him gently on his upper arms to stop his chaotic movement. The touch sends electricity through his body, their eyes meet and Tyler finds it that much harder to breathe. Jeremy continues, his voice soft but a little timid, "Have, have I said something to make you think this isn't okay? Because I'm okay with this, you're nervous that's fine, I'm nervous too. And you aren't making a fool of yourself just so you know."
Tyler looks at him like he's the first ray of sunlight he's seeing in ages, like he's that first breath of fresh air after a good rain storm. He feels like he's being renewed, rejuvenated, reborn and he's falling in love with Jeremy all over again. He can feel himself falling, as he looks in those deep brown eyes, feels himself falling as Jeremy's hands squeeze his arms gently, feels himself crash when those hands pull away but then Jeremy's lips are twitching up into a smile and Tyler swears he's never been more in love with this boy in the two years since he fell head first. Every single feeling he's ever had regarding Jeremy surges up within him like a wildfire, they come rushing at him like raging tsunami and Tyler has no hope to ever stop them just like he has no hope of stopping the next words that leave his mouth.
"I just wanted to be everything for you. I wanted to be enough for you because…because I-I…I-I'm just so, so in love with you Jeremy it's ridiculous."
Jeremy stumbles back a couple of steps, appearing to have lost his balance as he makes a strangled squeaking sound somewhere in his throat. He looks like he isn't breathing which frightens Tyler to no end. "You," Jeremy chokes then clears his throat, there are tears in his eyes and "You know my name?"
Tyler wants to hang his head because he just confessed his love for Jeremy, to his face, out loud, in front of the whole school and the only thing Jeremy can say is 'you know my name?' If that doesn't show what an absolute prick Tyler's been to him since this plan began then nothing ever will.
"Of course I do, Jeremy I love you," He says it with every ounce of passion in his body, every iota of conviction he can muster to show Jeremy that he means it, dear fuck does he mean it.
"Oh my god, r-really," and that's a little more the reaction Tyler was expecting.
"Yes," Tyler sighs as he takes those steps to bridge the gap between them, "Honestly I've been in love with you for two years now."
Jeremy makes that squeaking sound again and Tyler's heart misses a beat. "I love you too Tyler," and Tyler's heart misses another beat. He doesn't let himself think because thinking means hesitation which he can't afford to do right now.
Instead he takes Jeremy's face in his hands, cups his cheeks lightly as he connects their lips in a gentle kiss. It's so light it's like a breeze, barely there and Jeremy actually whimpers before pressing closer, clutching desperately at the front of Tyler's shirt while Tyler's arms slip down to wrap around Jeremy's slim waist. Tyler tightens his arms as Jeremy sways into him before throwing his arms around Tyler's neck and pulling so Tyler stumbles into him which only helps in deepening their kiss further. Tyler's so caught in the kiss and the moment that he's spent years yearning for, countless hours dreaming of that he hardly registers the increase in background noise as the parking lot and courtyard, the students around them, friends and acquaintances alike erupt in applause and cheers. Whoops and hollers echo around them, catcalls and wolf whistles come from all angles as Tyler's football buddies and Jeremy's friends sound out their approval. Tyler can't hear it clearly though through the thundering of his heart and the pounding in his ears.
Jeremy gasps and tries to chase Tyler's lips, when the older pulls away, with a dazed look on his face that makes Tyler all sorts of proud. Tyler gives him a few more gentle pecks as Jeremy's trying to speak. He's laughing through it, Tyler's smiling against him. "I don't need a bad boy Tyler; you're bad enough for me." He's busy planting a kiss on Jeremy's cheek when he thinks about what that statement means for him.
"Really," Tyler sounds just as elated as he feels and he reminds himself to let Caroline have it the next time he sees her. "Great because I don't think 'bad boy' is really me." Jeremy pulls an adorable thinking face, one that Tyler's been privately dreaming of inspecting up close for years now as Jeremy considers this. Tyler tightens his arms to the point where he has Jeremy wiggling delightedly in his grasp.
Jeremy's eyes twinkle with something different, his expression changes to one that Tyler recognizes from his darkest, filthiest fantasies and arousal stirs deep in his abdomen. "I don't know that leather jacket was very sexy," Jeremy's practically purrs, glancing at the older boy through his eyelashes. Tyler wonders if he's allowed to take the rest of the day off, ditch school even though he's already handed in his bad ass badge.
"Yeah, you liked that," Tyler quips flirtatiously to counter the little devil in his arms. If devils look like this, Tyler thinks, he's a perpetual sinner, nothing wrong with that right? Maybe there's still a bit of bad left in him.
"Yes I did," Jeremy whispers as he rubs his fingers against Tyler's scalp at the base of his head, "don't get rid of it?" Tyler smiles at the fact that Jeremy said it as a question, like he had to ask, he could have just said he liked it and Tyler would wear every day from here on in.
He figures Jeremy doesn't need to know the extent of it but he does let him know he'll keep the jacket, for him he'll keep the damn jacket. "I wouldn't dream of it baby."
"And one more thing," it comes out like another question and Tyler chuckles quietly, "kiss me again?"
Jeremy's biting his lip in way that is all sorts of wrong while simultaneously being all sorts of right. Tyler smiles brightly and he's nearly forgotten what's it's like to be this happy and want to smile so much as he lays a soft kiss to Jeremy's mouth, teeth release a perfect, plump lip as Tyler pecks them quickly.
"You don't ever have to ask for that," and Tyler shows him that he most certainly doesn't have to ask for that as he angles his head to the side and claims the mouth that has claimed every other dream he's ever had. Jeremy sags against him as he sighs contentedly into Tyler's mouth and yeah this is really all Tyler's ever wanted. Jeremy in his arms, Jeremy kissing him, wanting him, loving him, it's everything Tyler ever wanted it to be and so, so much more.
…
Tyler isn't sure who he needs to thank for this, but he knows he's in someone's debt. Maybe it's Caroline's who gave him the idea to pursue the 17 year old dream boat, maybe it's Matt's for being the supportive best friend straight from the get-go, maybe it's Elena's who showed him he didn't have to be anybody but himself for Jeremy to like him and maybe he owes all three of them a thank you and a fruit basket, possibly even a big ol' hug.
He isn't too sure who to thank but he'll figure that out when he isn't so preoccupied. For now he really only knows one thing for sure. And that's that he doesn't need to be a bad boy, (he's a bit too soppy for that shit anyways,) to have Jeremy's love and the giddy, giggling, beautiful brunette in his arms is proof of that.