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It started on the day the seal broke. If Pete was being completely honest, though, it started way before that, but breaking the seal seemed to have unleashed something in Pete that he was still fighting with for control. What used to be an itch in the back of his throat he couldn’t reach became an infection burning every inch of his skin.
Niran was sleeping soundly on the floor just past the yellow tape, the exhaustion of the day having knocked him out. But every time Pete closed his eyes, he could feel it– the Six-Eared Macaque eagerly waiting for him to slip. One wrong move, one moment of weakness, one instance of letting down his guard, and he was ready to pounce on any chance he got. And Pete was fighting– or at least trying to. He remembered what Niran had said, about every emotion being a passing wind. He took a deliberately slow breath and let himself feel it. Feel it and let it go, he told himself. But this didn’t feel like a wind. It felt like a storm that he was trying to barricade with nothing but pure willpower.
The day had worn him down, too. He was exhausted. He closed his eyes with the hope that once he’s out, all of this will stop. All he wanted to do was sleep.
So sleep then, the voice inside his head responded, sleep all you want. You are so much easier to control when you’re unconscious.
Pete sat up, startled. “What?” he exclaimed breathlessly. He turned to see Niran tossing on his futon, but still dead to the world.
What? Afraid now that I’m not weak anymore? I thought you were a big, strong boy who could control me now.
The macaque had never spoken to him before, so he couldn’t know for sure, but who else could it be but the demon that had been trapped inside him all his life, who had just been set free?
Or does it make you angry that you’re still the 15-year-old boy who killed his parents, whom his sister hates, whom nobody can rely on?
Breathe, he remembered, and put his head back on the pillow. He could fight the demon. He’d done it before. He was training for it.
You call that training? Two weeks of running slowly? Don’t kid yourself.
This was just the demon trying to shake him.
Seems like it's working to me. Go to sleep. Maybe I’ll go away. Or you will. Want to take the gamble?
No. He knew a losing hand when he saw one, and he couldn’t bluff with a demon inside his head at all times. So Pete stayed up. He stared at the ceiling that he’d been staring at all his childhood, that now belonged to Niran. He played games on his phone. He walked up and down the stairs. And after what felt like an endless night, the sun started to peek through the clouds, and he started his morning routine.
Niran woke up to see Pete’s bed empty, which wasn’t necessarily unusual, but it was worrying. He woke up with the intention of letting the other boy sleep, if only for half an hour more. They had both had long days, and they had longer days to come. It seemed, however, that Pete’s athletic training was back in gear now that he had a routine and purpose. If that were the case, who was he to complain?
He folded his blanket and quickly freshened up to join his friend on the porch. But instead of the steady squat he had more or less perfected, Pete sat slouched on the plastic chair next to Niran’s designated spot.
“What? Slacking off again.”
“No,” Pete replied, voice laced with tiredness, “Finished that. I was waiting for you to go for a run.”
Niran squinted at him. “Did you sleep?”
“Eh, doesn’t matter.” He looked up, blinking slowly. “Are you ready to go?”
Niran looked him up and down once again. Everything about his pose seemed off, like he had been fighting a battle with himself all night. “Let’s skip the run today,” he said, assessing the situation, “We have something else we need to do.”
“What?”
Niran looked back at the living room, where Pete and his friends had started unpacking everything, but it didn’t feel like home yet. “Setting up my new house, obviously,” he teased. This house was always going to be Pete’s and his family’s, but he hoped the joke would breathe some life back into his lost soul.
“Ai sat. Just wait till the job is done. I’ll buy it back from you immediately.”
Niran smiled fondly. “Well, until then–” he pointed inside the house, Pete sighed and got to work.
Pete worked mechanically, his brain barely following instructions as Niran gave them. They both worked side by side to rearrange the whole house for the best energy flow, or luck, or whatever feng shui logic Niran was explaining that he didn’t bother to register. But he did the work, and it took his mind off the macaque, which was good enough. The voices were gone, and yet the eerie sense of dread lingered.
Then the sun set. They had dinner, cleaned up, and Pete took a long, scalding shower, letting the anxiety settle down. He’d gone the whole day without hearing the demon, so yesterday was probably a fluke. It made sense, too. The seal was freshly broken, so there had to have been a splurge of energy. Pete may not have understood how the wu or yao worked yet, but he’d seen enough fantasy shows to take a wild guess.
“Feeling better today?” He asked Niran, walking into their shared room.
Niran shrugged, “Your ritual must have worked.”
Pete rolled his eyes, “You don’t have to be an asshole about it.”
He grinned and ruffled his hair. Pete could feel the tip of his ears burning at a gesture that was becoming all too familiar. “Stop worrying about me and get some sleep. You need to be strong to summon Qi Rong.”
Right. Pete nodded and headed to bed.
“Goodnight, Pete,” Niran said from his futon. Why hasn’t this guy gotten himself a bed yet?
“Goodnight,” he whispered back, hoping for sleep to finally take him.
You really thought you could get rid of me that easily, the macaque scoffed. I know you aren’t smart, but this is… yikes.
Pete’s eyes snapped open. Niran was sound asleep.
“Nir–”
Yeah, go running to him. He barely recovered from the ritual. The only thing he trusted you with was controlling your demons, and you can’t even do that yourself. Tell him. Watch how quickly he drops you.
He stopped midway.
It’s just you and me. Just like it’s always been.
He groaned into his pillow and got out of the room before he could do anything to wake the other boy up.
The third night was the same. Not a peep from the demon all day, and come nightfall, the deep growl roared again right after Niran fell asleep. He almost woke him up, desperate to feel his grounding presence, but hesitated. Same with the next night. And the next. And the next.
The following night, he’d given up on trying to sleep altogether. He’d resorted to taking small naps during the day, never more than half an hour and never alone. He made sure to tell his friends to hold him down if he woke up and did anything unusual. Their concerned looks went unanswered, but they humoured him nonetheless.
The seal is broken, but I am in control, he reminded himself. But the control was ripping him at the seams, the demon finding his deepest insecurities to cleave.
You are nothing more than a vessel, remember? Hollow on the inside, with no substance. Why not just give in? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to let me handle things for you? You could have your house back, your sister back, your life back. It’s worth it, wouldn’t you say?
NO!
Stubborn as always. Let’s see how long you can hold on.
How was he supposed to help Niran capture Qi Rong and bring his sister’s life force back when he was barely keeping it together?
Ah. Self-awareness. Rare to see from you.
“Shut up! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” He screamed, covering his ears, “Please.”
Niran was worried. The dark circles under Pete’s eyes grew each day. He seemed like a husk of himself. Niran could tell something was weighing on him, but for some reason, the stubborn asshole refused to ask for help, which annoyed Niran to an unreasonable degree. This was the same guy who chased him around for days, asking him to exorcise a demon he had no power to vanquish from this realm. He was loose-lipped and endlessly talkative, but now apparently he had chosen to suffer quietly?
Niran had had enough of watching the life drain out of him, and his screams from the lawn in the middle of the night was as far as he was willing to let it go till he stepped in.
Niran rushed downstairs and dragged the other boy in. Pete’s hands were still covering his ears, eyes tightly shut as he tried very, very hard to control his breathing, but they came out in short, successive huffs.
“Pete,” he called out gently. He waited for a few minutes, and when it looked like his heartbeat evened out a little, he tried again. “Pete?”
He finally, finally, opened his eyes and looked around, as if to make sure he was still here, and everything was in its place.
“What is going on?” he asked, kneeling down and placing a hand on his leg.
His eyes turned to face Niran at the question, and almost immediately, tears started gathering in his eyes. “I can’t do this,” he said in a broken voice. “I can’t do this anymore, Niran. He is–”
Niran rubbed his back in slow circles. The last time he’d seen Pete this distressed was when he spoke about his parents. Niran was desperate to make sure he was okay, but he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t someone who knew how to comfort people, never having been on the receiving end himself. But Pete always tried. He was always there for him. So Niran tried to imitate it in whatever shitty way he could.
“He is in my head,” he sniffled, struggling to get the words out, “He’s there whenever I close my eyes. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t–” he stopped, unable to speak through the sobs.
“The Six-Eared Macaque?” he asked, just to confirm.
Pete nodded.
“You haven’t gotten any sleep, have you?”
Pete nodded again, rubbing his eyes to get rid of his tears.
Niran sighed. “Pete. Look at me.”
“You trusted me,” he said, still not looking up. “After everything you’ve done, I can’t do this one thing. Then what’s the–”
Niral cupped his cheek and forced him to look at him. “Stop. This is what he wants. He wants you tired, frustrated and out of control, so when you drop, he can take over. He needs you to be weak.”
“But what if–”
“Pete. He can’t do anything to you.”
“But what if–”
“Do you trust me?”
Pete looked frustrated, like he was missing the point. “You can’t protect me inside my head. This is not your fight. I need to do this myself. I can’t just be the vessel.”
“Do you trust me?” he asked again, slowly, with resolve that he knew Pete could read.
Niran’s hands were still on his cheek, catching the stray tears that slipped from the other’s eyes.
“Of course, I trust you.”
Niran sighed. He knew it was a risky offer. “I can help,” he said, “But if I do this, it can’t be undone. You can feel me in your head along with the macaque. We will share a life and a fate. If I touch you, I will know everything that’s happening in your head when you’re not on guard. It won’t be all the time, and it won’t be everything. But I can take care of him when you’re asleep. Are you okay with that?”
Pete’s eyes widened at the offer.
“It’s not like I can read your mind or anything,” Niran continued. “And if you’re awake enough, you can nudge me away. But you would be able to feel me in your head, too.”
“Isn’t that– What about you?”
“What about me?” he asked nonchalantly.
“My fate is worse than yours. Are you okay being tied to me? You will be getting the shorter end of the stick and have a demon to deal with.”
“Pete. I wouldn’t be offering if I wasn’t willing. The demon can’t do anything to you,” he reassured him, wiping another tear. “This is just insurance.”
“But you said that if I don’t control him, I would become his puppet. A weapon of destruction.”
“I won’t let that happen, I promise. So, are you okay with it?”
Pete nodded.
Niran gave him a small, reassuring smile. Then he guided Pete’s hand to his heart and mirrored the motion. Pete closed his eyes almost involuntarily, Niran’s touch grounding him as it always did. He didn’t understand the chanting, but in moments, he could almost feel a thread binding them together.
Pete slowly blinked his eyes open.
Niran’s eyes were still closed. But when he opened them, there was a protective certainty to it. When he finally separated himself from the hold, he said, “Done. Let’s get you to bed.”
Pete held onto his hand like it was his only lifeline, not that Niran minded. In fact, his own grip tightened. If he were Pete’s only tether to the world, he would hold on till the world ripped apart before letting him go.
Niran sat down on the floor next to Pete’s bed, their linked hand on the pillow next to Pete’s head.
“Sleep,” Niran ordered.
But Pete still looked unsure and nervous.
“What is it now?” He asked, sensing the hesitation.
“If I accidentally let go, what happens?”
“I won’t let go,” he promises.
“I toss around a lot when I sleep,” he murmured.
Niran looked at him, then at the bed. He’d done this much; what is one more step? Well, fuck it, he decided.
“Move over.”
“What?” Pete startled.
“Move over,” he repeated.
Pete complied, moving towards the corner of his twin bed. Niran hesitated just for a second before lying on his side on the remaining portion. He adjusted himself till they were both comfortable and then pulled him in till his head was nestled on Niran’s chest. He felt the sigh, rather than heard it.
“Better now?” He asked.
Pete put his arm around his waist and pulled him closer. “Yes.”
“Good. Now sleep.”
Niran’s eyes wandered to the one tacky star-shaped spot on the ceiling where there probably used to be a glowing star that Pete’s uncle missed while repainting the house to sell. The original owner of the house was snoring softly, finally getting some rest. Niran used the hand that wasn’t trapped under Pete to comb through his hair, tenderly moving it away from his face.
He sighed, sparing one more glance at the sleeping boy, then turned to face the ceiling again.
You can’t keep this up forever.
Niran flinched at the gravelly voice in his head.
He will be mine.
He huffed a quiet laugh
He was and never will be yours. I will find a way to get you out. And after that, before I send you to hell, I will make you miserable. I’ll make you feel all the pain you made him feel. You will go out in a slow-burning fire that you cannot escape. It will be so torturous that you will be begging me to end it sooner.
The demon snarled.
Try your worst. But you can’t have him.
The macaque ran towards him in the dark void of Pete’s head. He was not physically strong, and if this were a real fight, he wouldn’t stand a chance. But in here, he was untouchable. The heavens may not always have his side, but the training to understand them made him immune to the likes of Yao.
AAAGHHHH! The demon screamed, pounding at the invisible shield that protected Niran, and by extension, Pete.
Niran stood his ground and did nothing as he watched the macaque fight fruitlessly, while Pete slept soundly in his arms.
Fei could feel the shift in the energy in the room before she saw her brother enter. It was palpable and worrying how strongly the aura shifted. Then she saw it–the golden thread, invisible to the normal person, and almost imperceptible to her as well. But it was definitely there.
“Are you crazy?” She spat in Mandarin, “You tied your souls together? He has a literal demon inside him.”
Her brother shrugged, like the ritual that he had performed to tie their fates together till ‘death do them part’ was not a big deal.
She scoffed at his audacity. “Niran, this is stupid. Even for you.”
“It’s my life. Don’t worry about it.”
“Niran!”
“It’s done now. Unless you figure out a way to undo it without killing either of us, this is here to stay.”
Fei glared at him, and as usual, he didn’t deter– head held high and sure about his choices.
Pete looked uninterested in their conversation, apparently finding more entertainment in chatting with his friends than the soul bond they now had.
“Does he know what you’ve done?”
Niran shrugged again.
“Niran!”
“He knows the important bits.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She looked back at the macaque vessel again, and for the first time since they had broken the seal suppressing the demon, it didn’t look like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder. Niran seemed to follow her line of sight, and his face relaxed ever so slightly.
Oh.
“You better not regret this later,” she said in Thai. “And for heaven’s sake tell him what this actually means sooner rather than later.”
Pete turned around, ears perking at the comment.
Niran didn’t need to look back to know the confusion that the other half of his soul was feeling. Fei knew how the bond worked for the Wu.
“I will,” he said, “eventually.”
She gave him another exasperated sigh, but nodded.