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“Headmaster,” called out a disciple. “There are two people asking for your audience.”
Linglong felt her smile slowly slip off her lips. She shared an uneasy glance with Xiao Tang. Was it another person from the neighbouring county demanding compensation for the injuries from the mines? Or someone from the court again attempting to force her hands and drag her out before the Emperor to prove her loyalty?
Xiao Zhao had told her she didn‘t need to plead to the Emperor directly, not while he was there, and for that she was grateful. But what if he and the letter weren’t enough after all?
“Who are they?”
“One of them calls himself Ding Zhaohui—”
She froze.
“—and the man with the bamboo hat calls himself Zhan Rifei.”
And ever since everything fell into shambles in what felt like a lifetime ago, Linglong’s chest grew as light as a feather, so much so that she felt light-headed, all the nerves built up these past few weeks dissipating into the air as she took a deep breath.
Her feet were aching to run past everyone to the front gate to meet that annoying cat and rat, but she was no longer that carefree girl able to do as she pleased. Her father and brother weren‘t there to indulge her anymore or make excuses for her.
And so with a firm nod, she said: “Thank you. I’ll come greet them myself.”
With a patience that had been nurtured through countless blood and tears, she held her head high as she walked through the pavilion, holding herself back from using her Qinggong to get there as fast as she could.
(If her steps were longer and faster than what is appropriate, who would dare stop her?)
The last she had seen them was that awful day…she still recalled how her eyes met Zhan Zhao’s across the bridge and the way his body immediately fell like a puppet whose string was cut.
Everything was a blur from then on.
She could still vaguely remember the frayed edges of her nerves as she checked his pulse and found next to nothing, the erratic thumping of her heart immediately crawling to a stop as she saw someone carry Bai Yutang’s prone bloody body on a stretcher, and she felt numb, numb to her very core as if she was floating, Xiao Zhao’s grim shouts and orders a distant murmur in the background.
“Linglong,” someone gently touched her shoulder, trying to pull her away for some reason. “You have to let go of him. We can still save them.”
At the word ‘save’, she jolted. And for the first time since she arrived, a familiar flame came back to life within her, roaring and licking at her feet.
“Yes. Yes, we can still save them,” she murmured. She took one last look at Zhan Zhao in her arms and reluctantly passed him to someone‘s waiting hands, shakily getting to her feet.
“Where’s Bai-dage?” Her voice felt strained as though she hadn’t used it in years. “I need- I need to see him.”
“They’re patching him up as we speak,” Xiao Zhao answered, struggling to keep up with her pace. “You have to understand…he lost a lot of blood- but the medic said it’s not yet past the point of no return!”
He caught her before she could run off to Bai Yutang’s side, her eyes wide and frantic.
They could only watch from a distance as several people tried to staunch the seeping holes—too many to count—as best as they could for the transport, and after what felt like a very, very long time, Linglong felt an all-too-familiar helplessness seep into her bones. She thought she’d long outgrown those emotions, but in the quiet snowfall blanketing this cursed place, all she could feel was the numbing cold of her inadequecy.
“You did well, Linglong,” Xiao Zhao’s low voice echoed to her left. “If it weren’t for you, who knows how much later we could have reached them. Leave the rest to us for now, alright?”
The words didn’t comfort her the way he had probably hoped, but she nodded.
They’re going to be okay. She would make sure of that.
Little did she know that her duties as the new Head of the family would prevent her from even visiting them as they recuperate. With all the commotion the vacuum left behind by her father and brother and her two friends being both the biggest suspects in the murder of a royal family member and integral in uncovering the layers and layers of conspiracy in the court…it was simply impossible for her to see them.
The intricate juggle of court politics with her Manor's fate at the tipping scale and the safety of those two on the other end, Linglong couldn’t help but yearn for those simple days when they were out roaming the jianghu, just the three of them against the world. Even with danger around every corner, she couldn’t remember another time in her life where she felt so free and alive.
But every wandering bird must return to their nest, and so too must she.
With her heart hardened and her resolve sealed, she snatched fate by the throat and bent it to her will, her feet bringing her back to her family’s home not as a wayward runaway daughter, but as a young woman who knew exactly where and what she needed to be.
“Even if I were to marry, I must first go out to see the world and gain some experience,” she had told Zhan Zhao indirectly back then, freshly thrust into the jianghu and still oh so naive.
If she had known this was where her feet would take her…would she still have taken that first step out of the manor?
Her feet suddenly came to a stop, and she clenched her fists.
Two figures had their backs towards her, one heavily leaning on a crutch while the other had a sling over his shoulder, his free hand on the other‘s elbow.
Her heart thumped wildly, breaths coming out in silent gasps as her eyes blurred.
The answer is: Yes. Yes, she absolutely would.
“Huo Xiaomei,” one of them called, a smile lilting his already teasing voice. “What are you doing standing around there? Don’t you miss us at all?”
“Sorry, Linglong,” said the other, finally turning to face her, face contrite but kind as always. “This good-for-nothing young master somehow roped me into acting all mysterious. I promise it wasn’t my idea…”
“Hey! Don’t put all the blame on me, you sneaky cat—”
A bark of laughter broke through their bickering before it even started.
“Come in already, you two,” Linglong wiped her eyes, smiling so wide her cheeks ached as painfully as her heart. “I’ve had your rooms ready for a whole month now. What took you so long, huh? Was it just to mess with me?”
The two exchanged a brief smile and walked towards her (or waddled, in the case of Bai Yutang). Linglong rushed to his other side, but before she could wrap an arm around his back to support him, she was suddenly pulled forwards with an ‘oomf!’. A hesitant arm slid around her shoulders from the other side and held her close, and Linglong let the tears built-up this past month slowly trickle down her cheeks as she buried her face in familiar warmth, her hands clenching around the warm breathing bodies safe and alive beside her.
A hand gently cradled her neck while a sharp chin nuzzled the top of her head, and Linglong knew in her heart that everything was going to be okay as long as they were together.
"Tell me everything," she said in lieu of a greeting, pouring them two cups of tea. "Don’t even think about leaving anything out."
She had instructed their rooms be aired out for use and the quilts replaced with new ones recently dried out under the sun, settling them in the courtyard adjacent to her private chambers in the meantime.
Shortly after bringing them to the inner courtyard, she had profusely apologized to Xiao Tang, who she had accidentally left all by himself in her excitement. But the young man simply waved her off with a laugh, eyes twinkling knowingly.
"You all must have a lot to talk about," he smiled and cusped his hands. "I’ll take my leave now and catch up with you two on a later day."
And so here they were, letting the wind waft against the bamboo leaves in a soft chime, gently brushing against their hair as they sipped their tea and talked.
They talked until the sun gave way to the twinkling of stars, until she finally ushered them in when Zhan Zhao couldn’t hide the faint tremors of his body. Inside she lit the brazier in the middle of the room and handed each of them a xiulu*, stopping just short of tucking them in warm quilts had Bai Yutang not pulled her down to sit beside him.
"We didn’t come here just so you can fuss over us," he tutted at her. "Zhan Zhao, go check if they have some snacks left in the kitchen. I’ll brew us a new pot of tea."
"Zhan-dage, wait—"
But with an agility a wounded cat like him should not have possessed, the man slinked out of her reach with that small, fond smile of his and was out of the door before she could stop him.
Sighing, she slumped down beside the way-too-smug rat and glared at him half-heartedly. "Letting me fuss over you is the least you could do after the stunt you pulled. You should be glad I don’t have the heart to scold you both with you two looking so pitiful."
"That’s right! I’m eternally grateful for your kindness and generosity. Huo Xiaomei is the most forgiving and patient person I've ever met in the jianghu in my 26 years of living…would you consider letting us off this time?"
She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as a smile tugged at her lips.
"Alright, alright. Knock it off."
She batted his hands away before he could pour them the newly brewed tea and took the pot from him. As she poured their tea, she kept her voice even lower than a whisper.
"…How's Zhan-dage holding up?"
Neither of them could bear to say Ming Zhu'er's name outloud.
The shadows under Bai Yutang's eyes deepened further as he sighed. "…He's not doing well at all. He did his best to put up a front today, as I'm sure you can tell, and the investigation seemed to help take his mind off of it but…"
She nodded, face grim.
They both knew intimately well how little Zhan Zhao cared for his own well-being even from before, and now…
"I visited his grave once, after leaving you two to Xiao Zhao's care," she said quietly, taking in a shaking breath. "I didn't know what to say, so I just sat there and…prayed for him. And prayed."
Prayed for him to look after Zhan Zhao, for him to forgive her for surviving and not him, for not being able to shield him when he needed her the most. She wasn't particularly religious, but in the face of such cruelty and helplessness, what else could she possibly do? How unfair it was for such a bright young life to be snuffed while she managed to survive this whole ordeal relatively unscathed.
How laughable it was that so many evil still survived to this day when a soul so innocent and sweet paid the price with his life.
And how utterly cruel it was for a child to die in his parent's arms.
She wished she could say she understood, but she, for better or for worse, could not truly understand the pain Zhan Zhao was going through.
The death of those monsters would never be able to atone for the pain they've inflicted on him, the concessions Zhan Zhao's had to make all his life just to adhere to the justice he so believed in.
Their justice would never bring Ming Zhu'er back.
Her eyes met Bai Yutang's and the two let their gazes drop to the empty seat across theirs.
Time seemed to come to a lull in this quiet night, silence so heavy and thick it felt suffocating. And as she gripped the cup in her hands tighter and tighter, she felt a gentle nudge on her side.
"What's on your mind?"
"...Nothing," she murmured back, settling her cup down. "It’s just…I couldn’t stop thinking about…"
Her throat constricted, hands curling and twisting on her lap. But Bai Yutang didn’t push, his presence solid beside her as he waited, the weight of his gaze washing over her in gentle waves.
"What if I came too late back then…? What if Xiao Tang hadn’t registered the antidote in time? What if…"
Huo Linglong was not the type to cry easily, even as a child. Whenever she scraped her knee from a fight, she would simply grit her teeth and demand for a rematch. The first death to touch her was her aunt's, as her mother's was too abstract for her toddler mind to comprehend.
But the thought of losing the two people who knew her best, the two who came into her life and planted themselves in her heart like no one ever had before, clawed at her chest like metal jaws clamping down on its prey, refusing to let go.
All the fear and anxiety accumulating over the past few months had taken its toll, and as a hand firmly grasped her shoulder, anchoring her to the present, Linglong allowed herself to let go.
This truly was the longest month of her entire life.
"Should we go check on Zhan-dage?"
A whole sichen had passed yet the man who claimed to find snacks for them still had not returned, and Linglong could not help but start to worry. But Bai Yutang just shook his head.
"Let him be for now. He'll come back when he's ready."
She sighed. "I know…I'm just worried he's already run away."
"And leave me here to be fussed over by you all by myself?" he scoffed. "He wouldn't dare. I kept Juque hostage just to avoid that."
A faint smile. "Of course you did, you sneaky White Rat."
"You know, I had to basically bribe him to come visit you," said Bai Yutang conversationally, voice suddenly jumping several octaves. "Otherwise he'd barely be able to sit at home before leaving for Kaifeng Fu again. Always leaving me by my lonesome…"
Ignoring his neglected wife act, she hid a smile, playing along. "Let me guess…is he going to insist on leaving early tomorrow and leave you here to keep me company?"
"Huo Xiaomei knows him too well…"
"Well…that won't do," she said with a pregnant pause, eyes comically wide. "Because I was already planning on coming with him anyway. So Bai-dage, you might have to hold down the fort here while I'm gone. I'm sure being the Head of Linglong Manor for a few days is no challenge for the Great Brocade Rat?"
"What 'Brocade Rat'?! That person already died a month ago," he scoffed. "And if you think you're going to leave me here alone, you two can stop dreaming. How hard is it anyway? I'm sure I could just ask one of my brothers to fill in—"
"Alright…that's enough," Zhan Zhao slipped in quietly, his face seemingly free of tears, but she knew for a fact they had been stained moments ago. His smile was small, but it was as genuine as can be. "I promise I won't run off and leave you here."
He gently placed a warm package on the table before sitting, the sweet fragrance wafting off of it leaving no room for imagination on what it was.
"Did you…"
"The kitchen staff are already asleep, and I couldn't bear to wake them up just for a few snacks. So I…went to the nearest food stall nearby. Thankfully they still sold some at this hour."
Yet Linglong knew like the back of her hand that the nearest food stall was still miles away from her family's manor.
And you're still hurt, was at the tip of her tongue, but seeing Zhan Zhao's content expression, she kept it to herself.
Instead she watched as Bai Yutang excitedly opened the wrapping, the aroma of freshly warmed pear blossom cake immediately exploding in their faces.
"Zhan-daren, you've really outdone yourself," said Bai Yutang, eagerly taking a piece. "Dig in, Huo Xiaomei! It's your favorite pastry, isn't it?"
She smiled, wondering if Xiao Zhao had somehow told them or if they figured it out themselves.
"Thank you, Zhan-dage," said Linglong. She took a piece and after a brief moment of indecision, held it in front of him instead, holding his gaze. Zhan Zhao's facade seemed to crack just a little as he looked back at her, his eyes falling to the piece of pastry that seemed to convey more than words ever could. She could feel Bai Yutang watching them closely, body tense as though preparing himself to fight a battle they knew they would both lose.
Reluctantly, he reached towards the pastry with his palms up, and Linglong gently placed it on his hand, letting the moment of contact settle before pulling away.
They both watched as he nibbled on the cake.
Silence.
And then—
"…It's very sweet." Ming Zhu'er would have loved it. "Go try some, you two," he said softly, smile fraying around the edges.
She nodded, letting the sweetness and tartness of the pastry seep into her mouth, mixing in with the saltiness of the tears falling treacherously down her cheeks, the bitterness of her grief and her anger at the world.
"You're right," she said, smiling softly. "It really is sweet."