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The wind swirled softly through Nakamura’s hair. For the first time, he felt at peace, looking down at the passing cars and oddly placed street lights below. He gripped the railing so tightly his knuckles turned white.
Would anyone even realize he was gone tomorrow?
“Errrggg…” Nakamura grumbled after waking up and stretching his arms. Another exhausting day waited for him beyond his door.
As he stumbled out of bed, he kneeled in front of the tank of his pet octopus, Icchan. He did his daily routine of feeding him his favorite snack, dried shrimp, and tidying up his tank a bit.
As Nakamura slipped on his shoes and headed out the door, he heard a familiar voice—Hirose’s voice.
“Nakamura!”
Nakamura felt a light blush spread across his face as he looked behind him to see an enthusiastic Hirose running toward him with his bike in hand.
As class went on, Nakamura sat there drowning in his own agonizing thoughts. He stuttered over his words this morning, like always, and probably made Hirose uncomfortable.
Nakamura felt his stomach drop as the thought passed through his mind.
Of course Hirose could never love someone like me.
Nakamura had his head flat on his desk, trying to hold back tears, when he felt a hand touch his shoulder.
“Hey, dude, are you okay?”
Nakamura looked up to be met with Hirose’s worried face.
Why is Hirose worried about a pathetic person like me?
Nakamura tried to reassure him but choked on his words and messed it up again. Nakamura watched as Hirose simply walked away, while Hirose thought that Nakamura wanted space.
From Nakamura’s point of view, it felt like the only light in a tunnel of darkness was leaving him.
“DING DING!”
The final bell had rung, and Nakamura had to push himself out of his seat or he might just sulk there forever.
On his walk home, he felt something snap inside him as he recalled everything that happened with Hirose and what he did wrong.
Why are you still here?
A voice in his head spoke to him.
Maybe everyone would benefit from you being dead.
Nakamura froze in the middle of the road and suddenly turned his bike around, biking back to the school.
By the time he made it back, it was dark outside, and the only reason he could see where he was going was because of his phone flashlight and the dim street lights.
Nakamura stepped up to the school doors. Sometimes teachers stayed after school and only locked up the place after they left. While this still meant someone was probably there, it didn’t matter.
It’s not like anyone could care enough to stop him anyway.
Hirose saw Nakamura biking in the opposite direction of his house without looking back and felt slightly uneasy.
Where was he going? And what was wrong with him today?
It just felt so unnatural for Nakamura to be like this, and Hirose needed to know.
When Nakamura opened the door to the school rooftop, he felt peace looking at how high up he was. He knew nothing would fail, and everyone would benefit from this decision—in his eyes.
Hirose, after very subtly following Nakamura from far behind so he wouldn’t notice, parked his bike and watched him enter the school.
What was he doing?
Hirose felt a knot in his stomach, like he had to do something. Even though Nakamura probably just left something at school or was helping a teacher, Hirose’s gut told him otherwise.
The wind swirled softly through Nakamura’s hair. For the first time, he felt at peace, looking down at the passing cars and oddly placed street lights below. He gripped the railing so tightly his knuckles turned white.
Would anyone even realize he was gone tomorrow?
As Nakamura stood on the railing with his shoes off and his body unbalanced, he stared one last time at the ground—or at least what he thought would be his last.
Hirose watched Nakamura appear on the roof and felt pure fear flow through his veins. He ran inside, not caring if a teacher caught him, and sprinted up the rooftop stairs until he finally reached the door.
He opened it as forcefully as he could and watched as Nakamura balanced on the railing without shoes.
One wrong move and—
“Nakamura..?”
Nakamura stiffened and didn’t dare turn around until he felt a sudden grasp on his hand.
“Nakamura!”
He snapped out of his fearful daze and looked over to be met with Hirose’s face. Tears ran down his flushed cheeks.
Oh God, he wasn’t meant to see this.
Suddenly, he felt two arms embrace him tightly, and tear stains imprinted onto his shirt.
“Nakamura! What were you—hic—trying to do?!”
Hirose was choking on his tears as he spoke, and Nakamura felt nothing but pure guilt.
How could he see him like this without feeling it was his fault?
“Hirose… please don’t cry…”
Nakamura tried to comfort him, but it didn’t do much.
“How am I not supposed to cry?! You almost died!”
Nakamura felt a sharp pain in his chest as tears streamed down his face too, without him noticing. He felt his legs collapse beneath him and fell to his knees, not daring to remove his hands from his face.
Hirose kneeled down in front of him and pulled him into his arms.
“Nakamura… please never try that again… please.”
Hirose tried not to break down in front of Nakamura, but he could hardly help it.
“I’m—hic—so sorry, Hirose.”
Nakamura could hardly talk. He was crying so hard it was humiliating for Hirose to see him at a time like this.
Without meaning to, Nakamura started crying into Hirose’s chest, his tears staining Hirose’s shirt. He panicked as he tried to wipe them away, but was cut off by Hirose grabbing his face.
“It’s okay, Nakamura. Let’s get you home, okay?”
Nakamura nodded and sat there for a second in defeat until he felt himself being lifted.
Wait—
HIROSE IS CARRYING ME?!
Nakamura felt his face turn so hot it almost dried up all his tears. He looked up at Hirose, who simply smiled at him and pulled him closer.
When they finally left the building, Hirose let go of Nakamura and stood in front of him before embracing him again, even tighter than last time.
“The truth is, Nakamura, I followed you here. I felt something was wrong, and I just felt the need to… I’m sorry. You probably think I’m a real creep for this—”
Hirose stopped as he felt Nakamura hug him back.
“It’s okay. You saved my life. I love you, Hirose.”
Nakamura didn’t realize what he had said until he finished the sentence. Suddenly, he backed away, slapping a hand over his mouth as his face turned beet red.
Hirose felt blush coat his cheeks, but instead of being disgusted by Nakamura’s feelings, he grabbed his hands away from his face, looked him straight in the eyes, and closed the gap between them with a kiss.
“I’m very happy to hear that. Now let’s go home.”