Chapter Text
turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG]
CG: HEY
CG: ASSHOLE.
TG: hey douche bag
CG: DON
CG: FUCKIN KEYBOARD
CG: DON'T GET ME STARTED,
CG: I WILL BLOW THIS SHIT UP
CG: WITH THE BEST FUCKING INSULTS MONEY COULD OFFER.
TG: you and what explosives?
CG: BUT YOU KNOW, WITHOUT THE MONEY.
CG: NOT LITERALLY, DUMBASS.
CG: HAH.
CG: THAT'S STUPID.
CG: YOU'RE STUPID.
TG: and your the stupidest
TG: do you ever shut up?
CG: DO YOU EVER STOP BEING AN ASS?
CG: I'LL ANSWER THAT FOR YOU
CG: NO.
CG: THE ANSWER IS NO.
TG: haha how fucking original
CG: EVEN THOUGH IT WAS RHETORICAL
CG: I AM, SHUT UP.
CG: I AM SO FUCKING ORIGINAL.
CG: IF YOU REARRANGED THE LETTERS IN MY NAME, YOU COULD SPELL ORIGINAL.
CG: ...
CG: THAT WAS A LIE.
TG: no shit
CG: SHUT UP
CG: I DON'T NEED YOUR JUDGMENT.
CG: BESIDES, I'M WINNING.
TG: so throw something original at me other wise this will just become the same old boring fuckass bullshit you spew out at a non coherent rate
TG: which is so fucking over rated
CG: WOW, ASSHOLE.
TG: winning what?
TG: there is no prize to be won here
CG: THIS TANGO WE DANCE TO CALLED INSULTING EACH OTHER.
CG: SHUSH
CG: I
CG: AM
CG: WINNING.
CG: BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID
CG: AND I HATE YOU.
TG: haha you wish
CG: AND I DID--NOT SHUT UP, I AM WINNING.
CG: YOU'RE JUST BLIND
TG: and i thought you didnt feel that for me?
CG: YOU DON'T SEE THE EP--GOD STOP INTERRUPTING MY TYPING.
TG: or is this a new side of karkat were seeing here
CG: MAYBE I MEANT--OSPOGFDLKGD
CG: STOP THAT
CG: MAYBE I MEANT IT PLATONICALLY.
CG: DOUCHECANOE.
TG: im not interrupting you you just dont stop talking
CG: NO *EVERYONE* WANTS IN YOUR PASS.
CG: PANTS.
CG: NOT
TG: haha just most girls
CG: YEAH
CG: NO.
CG: WHY DOES THAT EVEN MATTER
TG: its the fucking strider charm
CG: GENDER WISE-NESS.
CG: I MEAN, YOU'RE ON A ROCK WITH A BUNCH OF TROLLS.
CG: AND IF WE ALL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING JUNK, THEN YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE GENDER WORRIED
TG: yeah well back home my popularity with girls was amazing
CG: LIKE HELL IT WAS.
TG: they all wanted me
CG: YOU'RE A FUCKING DORK, YOUR GLASSES DO NOTHING.
CG: NO THEY DIDN'T.
CG: I AM NECK DEEP IN THE BULLSHIT YOU ARE CURRENTLY SPILLING.
TG: haha its the strider charm the shades are for irony dipshit
CG: IT'S ALL I SMELL
CG: PFFFFFT.
CG: CHARM?
CG: HELL NO.
CG: WHAT CHARM? BEING AN ASS?
TG: yeah, well obviously you dont understand what your seeing
TG: like most critics of something some cool
turntechGodhead [ TG ] connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.
turntechGodhead [ TG ] joined chat.
CG: I'M GOING TO DROWN IN YOUR BULLSHIT, STRIDER.
TG: well i guess if you drown in this so call bullshit of mine at least youll shut up
CG: YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?
CG: TOO BAD I'M NOT GOING TO SHUT UP/
CG: .
TG: and someone else will be able to get a word in edgeways during a normal conversatio
CG: HEY, LOSER, LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE REPLIED.
CG: THIS *IS* A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH PLENTY OF BACK AND FORTH COMMUNICATION.
TG: this isnt a normal conversation idiot
CG: HOW THE HELL ISN'T IT?
Dave glanced to the bottom of the active window, and noticed another below. He didn’t check who it was but decided that they would be able to wait for a bit longer while he handed this trolls ass to them. He also didn’t want Karkat thinking that he was getting the better of him, that would have irritated him more.
TG: this is you being a douche bag who wont listen and understand when its the right time to drop a fucking subject
CG: NO, SEE?
CG: THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
CG: I *KNOW* YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT.
CG: SO I'M GOING TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT
CG: BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET PASSED YOUR INCREDIBLY DENSE, FUCKING SKULL.
CG: THIS ALSO PROVES THAT I AM STILL WINNING.
TG: haha oh i hear what youre saying and im just rolling with what happens cause that gets you more rilled up
TG: and the more you get rilled up the funnier this becomes
CG: I AM NOT RILED UP, FUCKWAD.
TG: not yet
CG: SHUT UP, THIS WON'T WORK.
CG: I'LL BE AS CALM AS A FUCKING OCEAN
TG: do did you forget how easy it was with the book incident haha
CG: BUT THE SURFACE OF IT.
CG: SHUT UP!
CG: THAT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE IN MY FUCKING PERSONAL SPACE
CG: DRAWING HUMAN GENITALIA AND BLAMING IT ON ME.
TG: haha and the ocean is never calm theres always some shit moving its ass and riling it up
CG: SHUT UP, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
TG: haha if you say so
CG: WHATEVER, YOU'RE JUST BEING A DICK.
TG: youre always a dick
CG: NO, YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND MY INTENTIONS SO YOU ONLY THINK OF ME AS A DICK LIKE THE OBTUSE FUCK THAT YOU ARE.
CG: BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID.
TG: well yes im obtuse but then itd be worrying if people could see through me
Dave decided to look at who had been trying to contact him, getting bored of Karkat’s irritating consistency and unending torrent of abuse.
timaeusTestified [ TT ] began pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]
TT: Hey, man.
TT: Yes, I know I don't pester you often.
TT: I apologize, but I'm not really sorry.
TT: You ramble a lot when you talk on computers.
TT: Anyway, I was here to tell you something very important, but seeing as you are not here...
TT: It will just have to wait, because I do not wish for you to think I'm joking.
TT: Seriously, dude.
TT: Where the fuck are you?
TT: I mean, I'm sure you're sitting at your computer, or at the very least somewhere in that room.
TT: If you're not, you were in the kitchen making food.
TT: Probably ate the pop-tarts I like.
TT: Or you were in the shower, using up all the hot water.
turntechGodhead [TG] connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.
turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat.
TT: Wow, so I know you're there for real now.
TT: You're not just a made up figure on the top of the screen.
TT: You have connected, and you can disconnect.
TT: Which you'd best not do.
TT: Because seriously, Dave I have important shit to tell you.
TT: Or I could just not tell you and reference this conversation in the future.
TT: You'd be pissed though, and I'd rather not some of the last days I might have on this god forsaken planet be with you being butthurt.
TT: Unless that's what you're doing right now.
He decided he’d probably let hid Bro hanging on for an answer long enough, and he sounded serious about something so he felt that leaving it longer could incite strife later when he got home from where ever he was.
TG: sorry dude, being pestered by some fucking trolls
TT: Okay.
TT: You reading through everything?
TG: just done that man
TG: whats up then?
TT: Cancer is up.
TT: The stomach variety, to be exact.
Dave froze. Surely bro was just fucking with him right? This couldn’t be true, how could Bro-no it wasn’t fucking true. It couldn’t be. Dave decided to finish up his conversation with Karkat and ask Bro more about it.
CG: WHAT?
CG: LIKE A GHOST?
CG: OR FIGURATIVELY?
TG: go for which ever option you fucking feeling like since youve probably chosen already
CG: YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT I HAVE.
CG: SO ELABORATE
CG: I'LL TAKE OUT MY SHITTY WRITING MATERIALS, SIT YOU DOWN COMFORTABLY
CG: AND ASK "HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?".
TG: woah dont go fucking lalonde on me weve got enough psychoanalysis going on for one rock
CG: MAKE ME.
CG: NOW IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO ELABORATE, THEN I DON'T NEED YOUR BANTER BULLSHIT.
TG: uhuh
CG: OR YOUR SASS.
CG: I COULD LIVE WITHOUT THAT TOO.
TG: haha well i have other much more important things to deal with right now
CG: ANYWAY, SPEAKING OF ROSE, HAVE YOU TALKED TO HER LATELY?
CG: LIKE WHAT?
TG: shit that youd never understand
TG: so ill leave your sorry ass which a few parting words
TG: you ready for this shit?
CG: WHAT
CG: GO FOR IT.
TG: karkat why do you think youre the boss
TG: because as you can see youre at a total loss
CG: NO
CG: STOP
TG: you cant even keep beloved pyrope
CG: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING RHYME
TG: what makes you think you have any hope
CG: SHUT UP
CG: OH MY GOD
CG: STOP THAT.
TG: you shout and shout so aloud
CG: I WILL PUNCH YOU
TG: in order to cast a cowardly shroud
CG: YOU BETTER FUCKING STOP
CG: STOP IT DOUCHE.
TG: thus why my lyrical justice is so mild
TG: no use wasting my sick rhymes
TG: on someone who is so small time
CG: HEY
CG: FUCKWAD
CG: DID YOU JUST CALL ME SMALL?
TG: what?
CG: DO YOU WANT ME TO END YOUR PATHETIC, MISERABLE EXISTENCE?
CG: DO YOU THINK THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS OR SOME SHIT?
CG: I'LL KICK YOUR ASS
TG: haha, you could try but i dont think youd do very well haha
CG: THEN WE'LL SEE WHOSE FUCKING SMALL
CG: WHAT?
CG: FUCK YOU!
CG: I COULD END YOUR LIFE.
CG: I COULD END IT IN SECONDS.
TG: sure you could
CG: SHUT UP!
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY IRONIC?
TG: oh?
CG: IF IN THE END, I TURNED OUT THE BE THE TALLEST AND YOU WERE THE SHORTEST.
CG: HAH.
CG: THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS!
TG: and pointless
TG: height counts for fuck all anyway
CG: THEN STOP MAKING FUN OF MINE.
TG: but why when its so easy to do cause of your complex about it
CG: I DO *NOT* HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT!
TG: yes you do
TG: otherwise you wouldnt have been so rilled up when i called you small
CG: I WAS NOT.
CG: JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT!
TG: you completely were
TG: face the fucking sunshine
TG: and accept it
CG: THAT SHIT IS BLINDING, NO WAY.
TG: haha you dont have to look at the sun just at the sunshine douche
CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVER, I DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO YOU.
TG: yeah you could just leave but youre too stupid to do that haha
TG: anyway im off to attend to that shit i need to do
CG: WOW, ASSHOLE. I AM *NOT* TOO STUPID TO ABSCOND.
CG: FINE, GOOD.
CG: GOOD RIDDANCE, FUCKWAD.
TG: id leave a farewell message but ive done that and anything else i could say wouldnt be able to sum up your stupidity enough
TG: later
turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG]
He closed the window and quickly looked back over the one with Bro. His body tensioned slightly with fear, partially wanting to just close this conversation now and ask about it when Bro got back but he knew that if he did that, be it true or not Dave would get a true kicking for it.
TG: woah, wait shit man
TT: Yes?
TG: you cant be fucking serious
TT: You think I'm that fucking sick and twisted to joke about that?
TG: no, i just hoped that this wasnt the fucking truth
No, he thought to himself; he didn’t just hope, he wished it with everything he had he had wished that Bro’s words were all a lie and that at any moment now he say “Naw, I’m just fucking with you.” But all it felt like was as if there was a pit being created in Dave’s stomach.
TT: Well it is.
TT: They're putting me in for surgery first thing next week.
TT: Then I'll have months of chemo.
TG: fuck man, will that get it fucking dealt with though?
TG: or will it always be a thing thats fucking here?
TT: The cancer? They're going to remove the infected tissue, hopefully all of it.
TT: And then like I said, chemo, and radiation for a few months after it.
TG: itd better get rid of it, i think id fucking become lost without such a fucking awesome bro and mentor
TT: Yeah, then I should live past the 5 year mark if it's all out, and I've got chemo treatments.
TT: And if I don't relapse.
TG: fuck man, is it fucking curable or is it a permanent thing?
TT: It's possible to cure it.
TT: But it's less likely because they caught it kind of late.
TG: fuck is it not something that would be fucking obvious?
TT: Doesn't have a lot of symptoms until it's late.
TT: To be honest, it isn't a thing that people my age get, so they weren't really thinking of it.
TG: fuck yeah thats true
TG: and youre usually the fucking image of fucking health
TT: Healthy as a horse.
TT: It wasn't stage 4 yet, so it hadn't spread to my other organs.
TT: But my stomach is pretty trashed.
“Stage 4?” Dave asked himself aloud, wondering what he meant by that and decided to look it up for himself. He searched for the stages of stomach cancer and quickly found a site ((http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/type/stomach-cancer/treatment/the-stages-of-stomach-cancer)):
Stage 0 or carcinoma in situ (CIS)
If you are told you have CIS or stage 0 stomach cancer, you have a very early stage of stomach cancer. There are cancer cells in your stomach lining. But they are completely contained within the innermost layer of the lining. So there is very little risk of any cancer cells having spread. It is not usual for stomach cancer to be diagnosed this early.
Stage 1
This is the earliest stage of cancer. It is divided into 1a and 1b.
Stage 1a means the cancer has grown no further than the lining of the stomach, with no cancer in the lymph nodes (T1, N0, M0).
Stage 1b means either that
- The cancer is still within the stomach lining, but nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T1, N1, M0) OR
- There are no cancer cells in the lymph nodes, but the cancer has grown into the muscle of the stomach wall (T2, N0, M0)
Stage 2
Stage 2 is also divided into a and b
Stage 2a means that
- The cancer is still within the lining of the stomach, but between 3 and 6 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T1, N2, M0) OR
- The cancer has grown into the muscle layer of the stomach wall and is also in 1 or 2 nearby lymph nodes (T2, N1, M0) OR
- The cancer has grown into the outer layers of the stomach but there are no cancer cells in the lymph nodes (T3, N0, M0)
Stage 2b means that
- The cancer is within the lining of the stomach wall but 7 or more lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T1, N3, M0) OR
- The cancer has grown into the muscle layer of the stomach and between 3 and 6 lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T2, N2, M0) OR
- The cancer has grown into the outer layer of the stomach and is also in 1 or 2 nearby lymph nodes (T3, N1, M0) OR
- The cancer has grown through the outer lining but there are no cancer cells in nearby lymph nodes (T4a, N0, M0)
Stage 3
Stage 3 is divided into a, b and c.
Stage 3a means that the cancer has grown
- Into the muscle layer of the stomach and 7 or more nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T2, N3, M0) OR
- Into the outer lining of the stomach and between 3 and 6 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T3, N2, M0) OR
- Through the stomach wall and 1 to 2 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T4a, N1, M0)
In stage 3b the cancer has grown
- Into the outer lining of the stomach and more than 7 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T3, N3, M0) OR
- Right through the stomach wall and between 3 and 6 lymph nodes contain cancer (T4a, N2, M0) OR
- Right through the stomach wall into nearby tissues and organs, and the nearby lymph nodes may contain cancer (T4b, N0 to 1, M0)
In stage 3c the cancer has
- Grown right through the stomach wall and more than 7 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer (T4a, N3, M0) OR
- Grown right through the stomach wall into nearby tissues and organs, and the lymph nodes contain cancer (T4b, N2 to 3, M0)
Stage 4
This means your cancer is advanced and has spread to body organs further away from the stomach, such as the lungs, brain or bones (any T, any N, M1).
“Fuck...” Dave said quietly, his breathing becoming slightly heavier.
TG: well thats a sorta sigh of fucking relief needed there
TG: but dont they have like organ donors for that sort of thing then
TT: No, they're just gonna scrape it all off, and then cut part of it out actually.
TT: And gross, can you imagine having someone else's stomach?
TG: well i guess it would be gross but it would work the fucking same
TG: and if it makes a different why would you care if it was gross or not
TT: I'm just saying.
TT: And I don't need a new one, this one should work just fine after the mess around in it.
TG: fair enough just thinking of the possibilities
TT: Sorry for trying to lighten the mood.
Lighten the mood...he was trying to lighten the mood? He should be the one sat, god knows where feeling like shit and...well bawling his eyes out however uncool that may be. Dave began to shake, almost lost for words on what to say. He was glad bro couldn’t see him sat there acting so uncool, though he could luckily still type is facade without worry.
TG: i know, its just a lot to fucking take in...and, wait how fucking long have you known about it?
TT: They diagnosed me last night.
TG: fuck...im seriously not fucking sure how to react really
Dave sat facing his computer screen, for once lost for what to really think or say...this shit was serious and in all honesty he was scared. Not that hed tell bro, but tears welled up in his eyes as be began to cry.
TT: I know the feeling.
TT: I'm sorry, Dave.
TG: you dont have to be fucking sorry, your the one thats got fucking cancer
TT: Fine, I just didn't know how to tell you all of this.
TT: So I just sorta dumped it on you.
TG: the manner in which you told me
TT: Yes. I set you on the train tracks.
TT: And let the train hit you.
TG: was as blunt as a spoon bro
TT: I know, I was there.
TT: Blurting shit out, just outta nowhere.
TT: It was a dick move I could have tried to prepare you a little bit or something.
TG: naw, i guess its cool bro id rather know in the fucking bluntest manner and have to face the facts
TT: Alright then, it all worked out.
All worked out? Dave read through his tears, his online chilled personality unaffected by how he really felt. He bawled as much as he wanted and as loud as he wanted, fully aware that Bro wasn’t around to hear his uncoolness. He wiped his eyes and looked back at the screen as he cried, knowing that if he faltered online for even a moment the game was up and Bro would know.
TG: i guess it did, but man, still dont know what to do or how to react to this really
TT: Well, they're letting me go home until Sunday, actually.
TT: I'm on the bus back.
TT: Back home, that is.
TG: awesome, want anything for when you get back?
TT: Yes, my spot on the futon, and some orange juice.
TG: sure bro, though im not sure how much orange juice weve got, guess ill have to go to the store to get some
TT: Nah, man it's on the way home from the bus stop I can pick some up.
TT: You want anything?
Dave paused a moment, a guilty feeling twisted in his stomach as Bro ask what he wanted, he knew what wasn’t in...but he didn’t feel right about Bro going to the shop when he’s not long since found out about such a life changing illness. He shook in anger at himself, and kicked the wall accessible under the desk. The tears still a pair unending waterfalls from his eyes, he removed his shades as they kept getting in the way as he cried.
TG: some apple juice would be cool i think were all out on that too
TT: Can do.
TG: thanks bro
TT: No prob. I should be upstairs in like five minutes.
“Shit” Dave said as he quickly got to his feet, transferring the conversation from his computer to his iPhone. Grabbing his shades before he crossed the hall to the bathroom.
TT: Wait, scratch that.
TT: Elevator is busted still, isn't it?
TT: Make that Eight minutes.
Thank god the elevator is always out, more time to calm down and pull himself back into what is normality in the strider household. He placed his iPhone on the back of the sink before holding the edges breathing deeply to try and stop crying.
TG: yeah it is, piece of junk it is
TT: Yeah, we should complain to the super.
TT: It's like he doesn't care about the handicapped.
TG: or anyone else for that matter
TT: Yeah, pretty much.
TT: Why do we live on the top floor again?
TG: i dont know, you got the place
TT: Okay, I'm gonna just sit on the stairs for a bit.
TG: man is it really that bad? youre usually up here like lightning
TT: I haven't been able to flash-step properly for months.
TT: I should have known it was something this bad.
TT: Now I can barely walk up 6 flights of stairs before I collapse.
TG: fuck really? you never let on about that
TG: but, bro, you want some help?
TT: Nope. I can do this.
TT: I can walk up some stairs.
TG: ok, just dont go fucking falling down those things
TT: You warned me about those stairs.
TT: Seriously though.
TT: I'm 4 flights below our floor.
TT: So I'm going to take another break.
Four floors, Dave thought taking another deep breath, not far off a presentable face. The tears finally came to a stop and he rubbed the clear liquid from his eyes and cheeks.
TG: fair enough, it gotta be said but its weird having you like this
TG: kinda all serious and shit
TG: its not our normal thing
TT: I am so out of shape, it's pathetic.
TT: You could climb more stairs when you were three.
TG: ...you threw me up half of them
TT: You asked me to, frequently.
TT: And you only got hurt once.
TG: what, i dont remember asking you
TT: Yeah, I didn't throw you up more than a few at a time, Dave.
TT: Maybe it seemed longer because you were so damn scrawny.
TT: Also come let me inside.
TG: really, jeez those stairs used to seem so big
TG: sure man, ill be fucking there in a moment
TT: Great. I'll just lean here.