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    Summary

    As his mind wandered on and on about that perfect person, Otogiri started imagining him, and all the ways he would improve his life. He would be caring, but also willing to reprimand him when he acted too spoiled. He would be shy, but quick to open himself up with the people he felt like he could trust. He would be clumsy, but always make up for himself and fix his mistakes. He would be scary looking and seem unfriendly to others, but actually be very sweet and kind when you got to know him. He would…

    When Otogiri noticed who he was describing, he sighed. He was thinking about that boy again. He was thinking about his student again. He was fantasising about a relationship with Nakamura again. He had tried stopping, he had tried so many things to stop it, but he was doing it again. It was wrong, and very gross, but he just couldn't stop. Because he was broken. Because he was already so broken, even if he tried to fix himself as well as he could.

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    Or: Just a drunk Otogiri laying down on the floor of his trashed apartment, thinking about wants to have but doesn't deserve, and about what he wishes was different about himself.

    Language:
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