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“She’s not available” I call out to Peeta frustratedly, dropping the phone back onto the holder harshly.
Even from the other room I can hear Peeta’s sigh, “what about Annie?” He suggests as another option.
I shake my head even though he can’t see me do it, “no she’s on that cruise remember?”
By the time I’ve finished the words I’ve made my way into the living room, where I find Peeta playing with Willow on her play mat, like I left them before I went to call my mother.
“Oh” Peeta mumbles back in response, barely tearing his eyes off of Willow to connect his eyes with mine. “Well who does that leave?” He asks the question on both of our minds.
Haymitch was out and so was Effie, both of them going into the capital together for some unspecified reason, Annie was out, and now my mother was also out.
I relay all of this information out to Peeta despite him already knowing it all.
“Who else do we know that Willow has met before?” I question.
There’s a moment of pause before Peeta says it, “Johanna” he murmurs thoughtfully, to which I’m quick to laugh aloud despite any effort to stop it.
“Sorry” I mumble.
Peeta’s eyes finally break away from Willow to look at me for a long moment, a questioning look in his eyes.
Finally I sigh, “why can’t we just bring her with us?” I question softly, “that would solve all of our problems”
“It’s a meeting With Plutarch and Paylor Katniss, we can’t Take Willow she’d be too distracting”
This time I scowl, “I don’t even want to go to this stupid thing”
Peeta frowns, “I know but it’s really important”
At his words I sigh again, “fine. I’ll go call Johanna then”
Making my way back over to the phone I quickly punch in Johanna’s number, she picks up on the second ring.
“Hello” she answers somewhat sarcastically.
“Hello Johanna” I repeat shortly.
“Ah brainless, how are you?”
“Alright” I answer once again shortly, Johanna and I are not ones to talk on the phone often. “You?”
“Yeah I’m alright” Johanna answers back quickly.
An awkward silence washes over us.
“So I’m alright, you’re alright. Nice chat” she fills the silence in with her sarcastic comment.
“Right” I murmur, “so uh, Peeta and I have this meeting with Plutarch and Paylor”
“Nice” Johanna inserts flatly when I take too long a break.
“Yes” I match her tone, “super nice. Anyway, our usual babysitters are all busy, so we were wondering whether you’d be able to come over and watch Willow?”
The silence seems to stretch on for longer than it should so I find myself quickly filling it, “we wouldn’t ask you if we weren’t desperate” I inform her.
Johanna scoffs, “I’m not your first choice I get it”
“Well… you were the next best person in line” I try to make my words sound more appealing to her.
There’s another slight pause but I don’t try and fill it this time.
“Okay fine”
“Thank you Johanna”
***
A few days later Johanna arrives at our front door, bringing with her an overnight bag as she won’t be able to get a train back home until tomorrow.
“Johanna” I greet with a smile as I open the door for her, “please come in, we appreciate you making the trip on such little notice”
“Well for making the trip in general as well I guess” I add on after a slight pause. “How are you?”
Johanna shrugs “Good I guess” she murmurs as she follows me in.
I smile “that’s good” I keep walking until I make it to the guest bedroom we’ve set up for her to stay in, I gesture towards it “this is your room, feel free to drop your stuff off and get comfy, I’ll just be out in the living room”
She nods, dropping her bag to the ground as I turn to leave.
Walking back out to the living room, I pick Willow up from her bouncer as she begins to whine.
Settling into the couch as I know she’s going to want to feed soon.
And as I suspected, a few minutes later she wakes up a little more and her whines turn into cries, a telltale sign of her hunger.
“Alright my Love” I soothe softly, adjusting my top and guiding her to latch.
She does so quickly, and we both settle just that little bit more.
Johanna comes out to join us a short while later, standing a little awkwardly as Willow finishes off her feeding.
It does make me wonder how she’s going to go looking after Willow by herself, I mean she’s probably the least maternally inclined person I can think of.
But, she was literally our last resort.
Though to be honest, she is way more softer than she looks; maybe things would be alright after all.
***
“Alright, are you sure you’ve got everything?” Katniss asks me, the worry etched in her voice.
“Yes, we’ll be fine” I reassure, bouncing Willow lightly in my arms; only somewhat awkwardly now.
It was odd holding a baby, she’s not that heavy, at least not compared to what I imagined, but it’s not all that easy either. She wiggles. Almost as if she’s determined to fall out of my grasp, and considering it’s my arms she’s in, I have to say I don’t blame her.
Actually I don’t know why I’m holding her right now, I mean obviously I will need to at some point, but both Katniss and Peeta are here still.
Despite my reassurance of being fine, Katniss goes over everything again, telling me where to find her milk and how to prepare it, her nap schedule, all the things.
“Yes I’ve got it” I repeat again. A tad more firmly this time.
Katniss looks at me, her typical scowl showcased, though above that is a look of wariness.
“We’ll be fine” I repeat gently.
Beside Katniss, Peeta nods curtly. Adding on to his reproachful wife, “we have to go”
Though she clearly doesn’t like the sound of this Katniss nods in understanding, wordlessly reaching her hands towards Willow, I hand her over with no complaints.
Quietly I watch as the small family say their quick goodbyes to each other, then all too soon Willow is handed back to me, Katniss and Peeta turning away to exit.
“Will she be okay?” I can just hear Katniss ask Peeta, as the door is finally shut.
But I don’t hear his response, I just hope it can instil more confidence in her than I can, and somehow perhaps instil that confidence in me as well.
In my arms again, Willow digs her hands into my top. Rubbing the material gently between her fingers. I turn to look at her slowly.
“So what do we do now huh?”
To her credit Willow replies the best way she can; in babbles.
Mentally I go through the mini checklist they’ve given me. Right now, she is fed, clean and well rested. “Do you want to play?” I ask cluelessly.
She babbles again, one of her hands going to her mouth.
“How about this?” I ask, placing Willow down on her mat in the corner with her toys. I pull out one of the plush toys from the basket and hold it in front of her face.
Almost immediately Willow’s eyes light up with excitement, reaching her hands up to reach it, the one coming out of her mouth still connected by a line of saliva.
“Ugh” I try not to gag “and I thought your parents swapping saliva was gross”
Taking the stuffed thing from my hands she almost immediately puts that in her mouth instead.
Then with the toy in her mouth she continues to make these little noises, almost like humming.
“Though you do have the cute factor working in your favour” I add thoughtfully. “Don’t tell your parents I said that”
I swear the kid giggles at this.
The noise can only be described as the most joyful thing I have ever heard.
“What’s so funny huh?” I can’t help but smile back.
She kicks her feet in and out, wiggling around on her back.
“Is it me?” I ask incredulously.
She giggles again, the joyful noise turning to squeals as I tickle her belly and sides.
And then we’re both laughing.
“Okay” I concede, “maybe you’re not as bad as I thought”
***
“Ugh, how can something so little create this much mess” I groan, holding Willow’s chest down so she can’t roll away; the little rascal determined to make an already daunting task even harder.
In response she only giggles, I swear an almost smug grin on her face as she watches me clean her up.
“I take back every nice thing I said about you” I state.
Willow doesn’t seem to care however, as she continues to babble and fiddle with her hands.
“Alright stinker” I lift her up from the floor again after taping the last tab down, “you’re all clean now, don’t do that again” I warn somewhat jokingly.
“Now, your mama was very clear about you taking your bottle and nap now” I tell Willow as I take her into the kitchen to find said bottle, “you’re gonna fall asleep right away and then sleep for a long time aren’t you?”
I’m not too convinced by the mischievous smile I receive in return.
Nevertheless I try my best to do as I’ve been instructed to do, preparing the bottle the way I’ve been told to, then once I’m satisfied with my work, I take it and Willow upstairs to her nursery.
Taking a seat in the rocking chair it doesn’t take long for us to get sorted, Willow clearly very used to this procedure by now and by the looks of it quite hungry at the moment too.
In a way it’s kind of satisfying watching Willow drink her bottle, slow rhythmical suckles all the while she stares back up at me, with a quiet inspecting look on her face.
“Whatcha lookin’ at huh?” I ask her questioningly, but as I suspected she doesn’t reply, only continuing to suckle on her bottle as her piercing blue eyes stare up into mine.
“Your eyes are so much like your dada’s” I can’t help but tell her, though I’m sure she’s been told it many times.
It’s a strange thing for me to notice, but then again Peeta’s eyes may be one of the only I’ve ever really taken notice of. The colour of course being a striking blue (Katniss is always going on about), but it’s also the way they hold hope in them. I can’t say there’s many other pairs of eyes that would look at me this way.
“You’re gonna be okay” I say, more for myself than anything else.
After all this time I can finally see a more personal affect the revolution has had on our future.
In little miss Willow, who still has her whole life ahead of her, with no threat of reapings or starvation.
***
As we walk back to the house I feel a mixture of exhaustion and worry wash through me.
To be fair, the meeting wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but still it meant being away from my baby for a few hours and the constant worrying about how she’s going adds to the exhaustion even if the meeting didn’t. Regardless I was very glad to be done and coming home to Willow.
The house is quiet as we enter it. Well that’s a good sign… right? No screaming or crying. Wait no, my brain goes to the worst possibility.
But just as I’m about to voice it, a giggle breaks the silence, releasing my held breath.
The sound only grows from there, Willow’s typical happy squeals filling the air.
Peeta and I share a look, before quickly making our way together towards the noise.
We find them in Willow’s room, Willow lying on her back while Johanna leans over her, making silly faces and playing a game of peek a boo.
“Having fun?” I smile softly.
Clearly not realising we were there Johanna jumps back at the sound of my voice, making Willow laugh probably the most she ever has.
“You’re home” Johanna states, a little questioningly.
“Yep” Peeta grins, “don’t worry Jo we won’t tell anyone about your secret love of kids”
Johanna scoffs, “I wouldn’t call it a love” she pauses. “But she wasn’t too bad” she admits quietly.
Calmed down from her giggle attack and probably wondering why the attention wasn’t on her still, Willow finally glances over in our direction, excited babbles escaping her when she spots us.
“Hi my baby” I smile, scooping her up from the floor and pressing a million tiny kisses to her face.
Leaning over Peeta does the same, eventually taking her from my arms as Willow holds out her arms for him; ever the favourite.
“Alright” Peeta begins after his moment of greeting with Willow, “I should probably get started on dinner soon if we want to eat tonight. Any requests?” He mainly looks to Johanna, our guest for the night.
She only shrugs, “I don’t care”
He turns to me but I shake my head as well, the brain power to even come up with a decision gone.
“I’ll come up with something” he promises, handing Willow back off to me. “You three can continue playing” he adds with a small grin.
“Oh I was actually thinking, I might as well go take a nap if Johanna’s still here to look after her” I joke, “especially since she enjoyed herself so much”
Johanna scowls at me, “no thanks, I think I’m the one who deserves the nap after all the hard work I did”
A chuckle escapes me.
“Admit it, you enjoyed it”
“Never” she states plainly, but even I can read the truth hidden beneath it.
Maybe Johanna’s not the worst choice after all.