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I rush into the bathroom as I hear the familiar sound of Katniss throwing up.
Quickly coming to her side I begin rubbing small circles across her back, pulling the loose hair out of her face as another round begins.
“You’re okay” I murmur comfortingly.
She nods meekly, resting against me a little more as I presume she’s gotten most of it out of her system; or well she’s done for the time being, not much to get out, not when this is something she most likely won’t be getting over anytime soon.
“I’m okay” she mutters back in response, almost as if my words have reminded her.
“Think it’s over?” I hum questioningly.
She nods gently, “for now”
A small smile comes to my face, “okay” I nod, “wanna move back to the bedroom then?”
She nods again, allowing me to help her off the floor as I practically carry her back to the bed.
Once there, I help to tuck her in, making sure she’s fully comfy under the covers.
“Can I get you anything?” I murmur questioningly.
She frowns thoughtfully, “uh, maybe just some water” she pauses before adding “and maybe some toast”
“Okay” I nod quickly, “I can do that” I lean over to press a gentle kiss to her forehead before adding, “call out if you need anything else okay”
“Okay” Katniss smiles simply back, “thank you”
I smile reassuringly before turning to exit the room, going to go prepare these things for her.
Though I hate seeing her like this, I can’t help but feel super excited for the news Katniss told me just last week.
Another baby; another little person to love with all my heart.
Speaking of, our other (not so little anymore) baby, tip toes into the kitchen after me, clutching her pink baby blanket in her hands
“Is snack?” She asks me cutely.
“I’m making a snack for mama, yes” I answer her, adding on quickly, “did you want a snack as well my Love?”
Willow nods meekly, bringing the blanket up to her mouth in that self soothing way she does.
“Okay” I smile reassuringly, “we can sort that out in just a second” I agree as I go to pull the now toasted slices of bread onto a plate, preparing to butter them lightly. “Just need to finish up mama’s first”
Willow nods again, not bothered much by this diversion. In fact, she even asks me if she can help.
I agree, lifting her up onto the counter swiftly and handing her the knife so she can continue buttering up the toast, while I go to prepare the glass of water Katniss also asked for.
When she’s done, I help Willow back onto the ground and pass her the plate so she can carry it up.
Together we make our way upstairs again, toast and water in hand.
But when we get there I know quickly that we’re getting into the hard weeks of things, when we find Katniss not in bed like I left her, but back on the bathroom floor groaning, and then vomiting once again.
“Oh Love” I can’t help but sigh as I rush to her side once again, rubbing her back and pulling her hair out of her face same as I did before.
“I don’t wanna do this” she cries as she tosses her head back into my chest.
“I know” I hum, in what I hope is a soothing way as I continue to rub circles into her back.
From behind us Willow makes a little noise, honestly I’d kinda forgotten she was there, when I saw Katniss sick that was all my mind could really think of. “Mama sickies?” She asks softly, there’s a bit of curiosity in there, but mostly it’s just a sad statement.
Almost immediately Katniss tenses in my arms, and I curse myself for bringing Willow into this, though I didn’t know she was going to be sick when we got here. Katniss hates being weak in front of people, with perhaps only myself as the exception, though even then I suspect it’s somewhat guarded sometimes.
Knowing Katniss, I suspect she hates to be weak in front of Willow more than anyone.
“It’s okay” I whisper to Katniss first before looking up to Willow and nodding in confirmation, “yes Honey, but it’s okay because we’re here to help right?”
“Right” Willow echoes quickly, holding up the plate of toast in triumph. “Toast help!”
“You’re right” I agree, praising her as though I hadn’t thought of that, “why don’t you go put that on mama’s nightstand and I’ll help her back into bed so she can enjoy it there”
Willow nods quickly, racing off to go complete her given task.
“Sorry, she came into the kitchen as I was preparing it” I murmur apologetically.
Katniss smiles simply, “It’s okay” she nods.
“You wanna stand up?”
She nods again as she sighs a simple, “okay”
So I help her up and offer her a small sip of the water I brought over with me, it seems to stay down okay for the moment so we continue our short journey back to the bed, though I make sure to bring the waste basket closer just in case.
When we get there we find Willow having completed her task, has climbed up onto our bed and is rolling around, being silly.
“Gotta help mama get betta!” She exclaims excitedly, crawling to her knees where she then begins to bounce energetically.
I can’t help but smile “I appreciate the enthusiasm Bug, but I think mama needs some rest”
“without noisy little monkeys jumping on the bed” I add with a small chuckle.
Willow flops dramatically on her back, but does as she’s more or less told, rolling off to one side of the bed, which allows Katniss to slide in again on the other.
Quickly back on the ‘helping mama train’ Willow excitedly reaches for the plate of toast, handing it over to her with a bright smile.
“Thanks Willow” Katniss hums as she accepts it, pressing a small kiss to her forehead.
I bring the glass of water over to her bedside and place it down, then I more or less return the favour, pressing my lips to Katniss’ forehead.
“Thanks” she hums again.
A beat passes, Katniss taking a small bite of the toast.
“Come on Willow, lets leave mama to get some rest then” I offer, knowing what Katniss probably really wants right now, is some private quiet time away from Willow
Willow frowns, “I help mama” she protests.
“We can go get you your snack” I add.
“Me snack” she lights up, “bye bye mommy”
***
A few days pass, most of those days passing in similar blurs of vomiting and sickness.
Little sucker has decided Katniss must suffer.
She takes it like a champ, as per usual of course. But I can tell the never ending illness is beginning to get to her.
Due to the all round tiredness of our household, or at least myself and Katniss (Willow is still as energetic as ever), we take each day slowly, spending most of our time together snuggling and relaxing.
Currently we find ourselves on the couch, loosely cuddling as we watch a movie, Willow sits on the ground in front of us, building a tower, or more specifically I think a castle, out of her building blocks, while also glancing up periodically to watch the movie as well.
Besides me, I notice Katniss beginning to groan. A sign that she’s in pain or discomfort, and if I’m any guess, probably nauseas.
“Do you want me to pause it?” I whisper over to her.
Willow still apparently hears me though, as she whines, “no dada”
At the same time Katniss shakes her head, stating plainly that ‘she’s alright’. But not even a few minutes later she’s up and running, the distant sound of gagging following shortly after as she reaches the bathroom.
“Why’s mama keep doing that?” Willow questions softly, her head tilted curiously up at me.
I can’t help but chuckle a little at her cuteness as I explain, “the baby’s making her feel icky”
“Oh” she huffs, “why?”.
“Because” I drag out the word a little as I try to come up with the words to explain this, “as the baby grows it pushes against mama’s stomach making her feel sick” I know this is not quite the reason, but I don’t think Willow would quite understand the whole depth of it.
“Oh” she sighs again, “okay” she hums, turning back to her blocks unbothered.
“I’m gonna go check on her okay? Can I pause the movie till we’re back?” I confirm with her
Willow huffs dramatically, “fine” she sighs, ever so dramatic for a four year old.
“Thank you” I hum, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head as I pass.
***
I’m in the kitchen, preparing dinner when I hear the familiar sound of Katniss being sick in the other room.
Sighing, I rush towards the sound as soon as I safely can, turning the stove off as I go, though the thing has barely even been on yet.
“Oh my Love” I sigh gently as I come sit behind her on the floor, rubbing up and down her back comfortingly.
Clearly tired of all this unending sickness Katniss begins to sob softly, clutching my shirt in her hands as I she leans back into me, then lurches back forward to release the contents of her stomach again.
“I’m so sick of this” she cries, her cries increasing a touch more.
“I know” I sigh, still rubbing small circles into her back comfortingly. “You’re already six weeks down, and if it’s like Willow’s pregnancy things should lighten up in a few weeks as you enter your second trimester”
Katniss nods numbly, “hopefully” she sighs.
“And just think, this baby’s gonna be so worth it in the end, hey?”
“Yeah” she hums, almost as if still unsure of this.
I’m about to add on more to encourage her when a sound upstairs peaks both of our attentions.
“Oh no” Katniss groans, “not Willow too”
She begins to make a move to stand up, but I stop her, “I’ll go deal with it”
She nods, smiling briefly in thanks.
I press a quick kiss to her cheek as I go to leave, moving up the stairs a little faster than usual as I approach the sound.
I spot Willow in the main bathroom, hunched over the toilet there. That’s good I sigh thoughtfully to myself, I don’t see any missed spots on the floor either which implies she made it on time, though I know it’s a selfish thought from me I’m thankful the clean up should be minimal.
I enter the bathroom gingerly, “you alright Willow?” I hum softly.
Willow looks up, “I sick” she hums.
“I can—” I begin to speak, but my words trail off as I come closer, noticing for the first time that there isn’t actually any vomit in the toilet, “—see that” I finish, a little more questioningly.
Willow turns her head to the toilet again, pretending to throw up again.
“You rub my back?” She asks, “like mama”
“Yeah” I smile warily, “why don’t we head back to your room though, it’s a bit icky on the bathroom floor”
Willow frowns. So I add on, “I can get you the bucket like when you were sick last time” I offer, hoping this compromise won’t disrupt her playing while also getting her off of the bathroom floor.
“Okay” Willow eventually nods, letting me pick her up to carry her back to her room.
I play along with her make believe as seriously as I can, tucking her into bed with a gentle kiss and bringing over the vomit bucket as promised.
“Anything else?” I hum questioningly.
Willow thinks about this for a moment before exclaiming “Toast! Like mama gets”
I smile, “okay sweetheart, I can make you some toast” I press another little kiss to her forehead as I leave.
Downstairs I find that Katniss has moved herself back onto the couch.
She looks up at me as I descend the stairs, “Is she alright?” She asks, worry etched into her features.
“False alarm” I begin plainly, then grin playfully as I add, “I think someone has a case of the copies”
Katniss smiles meekly along, then frowns as my words seem to register with her, “what does that mean exactly?”
I chuckle again as I explain everything, “so now I’m getting her some toast, would you like some as well?”
“I guess so” she shrugs, the smile still on her face from my story. “Though isn’t dinner gonna be done soon”
“Oh yeah” I sigh, to be honest I completely forgot about making dinner after everything that just happened. “Eh, it’ll be a little while still” I shrug.
“Okay then” Katniss smiles, “that might settle our stomachs before dinner then”
“Maybe” I smile, turning back into the kitchen to first prepare two slices of toast, then finish dinner.
***
Thankfully, once again as Katniss enters her second trimester of pregnancy her nausea symptoms begin to lessen.
We currently still have a little bit of it happening here and there, but on a whole things have gotten easier.
What hasn’t disappeared quite yet however, is our family time spent relaxing in the living room.
We’re watching another movie on the tv while Willow sits playing with her toys.
Periodically we hear her begin to babble something to her dolls, clearly playing out various scenarios of imaginative play.
“What you doing Willow?” I decide to ask, curious what she’s actually playing with them.
“Me looking after my babies” she answers quickly, barely looking up to respond.
“Oh that’s nice” I smile softly.
She looks up again, this time for a longer period, “These are my babies” she introduces, lifting them up so we can see them.
“Oh how cute” I coo along playfully, “what are their names?”
Willow holds up the doll in the orange dress, “this is Pumpkin” she explains, then lifts up the one in the purple onesie, “and this is Daisy”
“Those are beautiful names Willow” Katniss plays along as well.
“Uh huh” Willow nods, “and there’s a third one in here as well” She puffs out her stomach, lifting her shirt to point at her belly, clearly taking inspiration from her mum as she pretends to be pregnant.
“Oh are you?” Katniss smiles questioningly.
“Yeah” Willow lights up, “see” she gets up and runs out of the room, a moment later we hear the sound of Willow pretending to throw up.
Katniss and I can’t help but burst into laughter.