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To be fair, it did not start as a romantic pursuit. While Thunderbolts (or Avengerz, or New Avengers depending who you asked) often worked outside of New York, hitting different HYDRA bases all over the world or taking down anyone of the similar flavor, sometimes they would take a job concerning street level criminals.
Someone like Kingpin or Hammerhead, the mob bosses that required a more enhanced approach to their operations. Less often it was killers like Muse — a name that had Jason cringe every time he heard it — or Lady Muse.
The Hand was fully in Daredevil’s backyard and for him, Bullseye and Punisher to take care of. An immortal organisation of assassins was a bit above the Thunderbolts paygrade, as in they were definitely not paid nor motivated enough to touch that mess. It was already Murdock’s so there was no need to crash his party.
However, a lot of the street level villains were, unfortunately, spoken for by the friendly neighbourhood arachnid. Not that Thunderbolts would ever complain about someone doing the job for them, for free, but it meant that the Spider would crash their gig if they tangled with one of his rogues.
Jason itched the most to not sit idle in the Tower, waiting for assignments, and often ventured out to listen in to police scanners and just grapple to the nearest crime that seemed like it needed an assist.
He didn’t care for petty thefts or loitering, but when he heard Shocker robbed a bank on his first day out of prison he just had to see it. The man used interesting technology and Jason was not above stealing some of it to tinker with it later in one of the labs in the Tower, with or without Bucky’s permission.
He watched Shocker make his way out of the bank with — wouldn’t you know it — a blur of red and blue chasing him through the streets, yelling out quips and jokes in between web swings.
Jason rolled his eyes, following from parallel rooftops using his grapple hook and mist jumps to stay out of sight, a little like he would when hunting a target.
Shocker’s escape was erratic and mostly focused on simply avoiding the Spider which honestly worked in Jason’s favor — it took one well timed swing on the grapple to kick the robber into a dark alley and snatch him before Spider-Man could do anything about it.
Jason landed neatly on his feet, happy that countless training sessions with Yelena and Natasha kept him in shape with all of the acrobatics.
Shocker grunted as he scrambled from the ground, a bit shaky in the legs.
"Another one?" he spat out. Jason tilted his head.
"To be honest, I couldn’t care less about the money. I do want those gauntlets though." He said, circling the rogue. "I also don’t care whether you give them to me or I take them off your corpse, so take a pick." He shrugged, raising his guns.
Shocker did not, in fact, seem intimidated.
"Try it, Buckethead!" He yelled, squaring up as Jason sighed under his breath.
"It’s a helmet." He corrected and slid right under the criminal’s legs as the man sent a shock wave where previously Jason stood.
One kick to the guy’s back sent Shocker smashing his face into the brick wall — it would’ve been a concussion if not for the mask the man was wearing — stunning him for a moment.
It was all Jason really needed. He grabbed Shocker by the suit and proceeded to slam the rogue’s head into the brick wall until the foundation chipped and a spiderweb crack appeared on the man’s mask.
"It’ll hurt you way more than it hurts me." Jason spoke through the helmet’s voice modulator as he took out a knife, inching it closer to Shocker’s arms to free him of the tech.
Of course, at that moment suddenly a sticky web hit his hand and forced the knife away, wrenching Jason’s arm to the side.
"Whoa, that is not how you use a knife!" Spider-Man quipped from the spot on the wall where he glued himself to it. "Now I’m not an expert but I think Robin Hood is supposed to wear green, not red?"
Jason stared at him, glad that the man does not know how accurate of a joke he just made. No, the robin part of Todd’s life was going to stay dead and buried if he could help it.
"Aren’t spiders supposed to have eight eyes?"
"Touché!" Jason could hear the smile in his voice. "Now step away from Herman, will you? It’s more of a one on one dance."
"I’m more of a dirty dancing type of guy. Besides, this one was literally running away from you."
"Yes, well, we’re working on it. Aren’t we, Herman?" the concussed Shocker just grunted from the ground he landed on. "Man, did you ever hear of unnecessary use of force?"
"Just about whenever Jameson is ranting about you on his podcast, why?"
Spider-Man laughed, lowering himself to the street.
"You’re funny. The New Avengers right?" Jason grunted in response. "Look, I really don’t want to be that guy but just stay out of my way next time? I was handling things fine. And maybe don’t try to kill people. A thought."
"You’re literally the one vigilante who’s unsanctioned here." Jason deadpanned. "Lightbug here blew up a bank and destroyed three streets being chased by you on his first night out. I’d give you one star on your service as a vigilante, webhead."
Spider-Man scratched the back of his head, bouncing on his feet.
"We all make mistakes?" he tried. "Listen, I’ll pack up Herman back to the Raft, he won’t go out again. Or soon. I hope. It’s 50/50 chance. But if he does, it will be on me. Deal?"
Honestly, Jason couldn’t be bothered to argue or try to be more territorial, so he took the spider’s hand and shook it.
"For now. But Spidey? Stay out of my way. I use lethal rounds." He warned, mist jumping away.
And hence the experiment started, slowly but surely.
Red Hood and Spider-Man would crash each other's parties more often than not, with Jason usually sending the rogues to the Raft with a concussion and few broken bones or bullet wounds and Spider-Man webbing Jason’s equipment to walls, roofs or just breaking the weapons in half.
One time he dared to web Jason himself to a wall, to stop him from using a manhole cover to break a man’s head open. That night Spider-Man saw the green mist gather around Jason’s fists and promptly squeaked as the next manhole cover was thrown at his head.
More and more often their meetings would result in squabbles over Red Hood’s use of lethal force versus Spider-Man’s lenient treatment of his rogue gallery. Jason almost felt like back in Gotham, down to an acrobatic freak in blue spandex speaking morals at him.
Perhaps it was childish but Jason found himself seeking out the Spider just to sabotage him sometimes, like throwing an EMP at the man or shooting through his web mid swing. It’s not like the spider was going to die from the fall, Jason saw him splat on the pavement in much rougher conditions.
What Jason noticed over time was that Spider-Man simply could not have a full time job. The man would patrol at any given hour, be it day or night and would appear almost immediately if there was a Raft break out or a major crime happening.
No job would allow him this much lenience, especially when counting the time the man had to rest up between patrols and recuperate after sustaining injuries in the fights.
So Jason got curious and decided to stalk the man.
It was scarily easy to keep track of the spider.
For one, he was not shy when it came to cameras. Bystanders often snatched pictures of him and he even stopped to take selfies with some of them.
Jason very quickly realised they were using the same police scanners too, and he figured out the pattern of when Spider-Man would respond to a call or when he would leave it be.
Anyone enhanced, any kidnappings, robberies, bigger drug deals, weapons dealing or car chases — he’d respond. Anything else he’d leave to the police or whatever vigilante was bored at the moment.
He had no issues crossing into Hell’s Kitchen when he needed, not caring for any territories.
He also responded to non crimes as well. He’d go chasing pigeons for a homeless man named Harold or check out suspicious noises in an old lady’s backyard. It was endearing but made Jason think even more that the man had to have no solid, stable job to his name.
Spider-Man was an airhead, truthfully.
Jason managed to observe him through sniper visor and up close without the man ever noticing, which was honestly concerning since the guy supposedly was at it for years and had plenty of enemies.
So Jason decided to continue his observations more out of concern this time rather than curiosity.
He noticed the Spider liked to perch on tall buildings, like Oscorp towers or Avengers Tower, to have a good look at the city before heading on patrol. Sometimes he’d stop to snatch a donut or a pizza but rarely ever took breaks to recharge mid swing session.
Jason’s conclusions so far were that:
One, Spider-Man is either unemployed or self-employed, possibly a freelancer who doesn’t have too much going on.
Two, the coffee he drank was always the cheapest swine you could find so he was either poor or had no taste or both. Also, most likely desperate for caffeine.
Three, he always got the donuts and pizza from the same establishments in Queens so he was most likely a local there. They were also rather cheap options so the "Spider-Man is poor" seemed more and more likely.
Four, the guy was a nerd. He often referenced movies like Rocky or Star Wars during his fights.
Five, he was a photographer by hobby or otherwise. Jason noticed him snagging pictures with a camera of landmarks or just events happening in New York more than once. He put a mental note to look up magazines to see if any of those photos show up in any of them.
It took Jason around two weeks to get to conclusion number six. Spider-Man was very bad at the secret identity thing with how easy it was to stalk out that he was Peter Parker, Queens native, a struggling photographer who sometimes sent in photos to the Daily Bugle and volunteered at a F.E.A.S.T shelter where his Aunt May worked for the last five years.
Apparently he was best friends with an ER nurse — former investigative journalist — Michael James Watson and an Oscorp heir, Harry Osborn.
And so the conclusion of Spider-Man being poor was proven right as well when he noticed the webhead swinging left and right looking for his things after a landlord evicted him over unpaid rent.
Jason’s concern grew into sympathy when he watched through a sniper rifle and a window as Peter Parker made his bed on a couch in his aunt's office, having no place to stay for the night.
Hence the operation of domesticating the spider fully began. Spider-Man was a spider so these surely should work on him as for any other creature. He clearly needed someone to do basic things for him and Jason had free time.
The observation step he had already done, that left a few steps. Jason scribbled them on his notepad.
Routine, passive presence, scent familiarity, providing security, hand feeding and positive reinforcements.
Then there was Hands on Handling. "Begin with short petting sessions in safe areas of the body, like the neck or back. Avoid sensitive areas like the face, tail, or paws until trust is fully developed." Now that could prove hard to do, but Jason was creative.
Routine and passive presence were easy. Jason would crash Spider-Man’s parties and for once adhere to the rule of no killing, limiting himself to knock outs and bodily harm.
"Man, how bored do you have to be to keep showing up?" Parker laughed as the two of them danced around Rhino — some dude built like a truck in a mech suit — avoiding the man’s attempts at crushing them to death.
"What else would I do on a Friday night? Hang out with friends over a beer and bad movies? That’s just lame," Jason quipped back as he mist jumped right from under Rhino’s nose as the man was about to impale him.
"Right, ring around a rhino is much more fun!" Parker laughed above him, shooting webs at Aleksei’s eyes.
"It’s good for cardio." Jason agreed, slapping an EMP device on the mech’s back and set it off, sending the criminal spasming on the ground.
Parker landed next to Jason, hands on his hips as he looked at the half conscious Rhino.
"Dude, I feel like a poacher right now, just a bit."
"Want me to take a picture of you holding his horn to complete the experience?" Spider-Man made a noise, shrugging.
"It feels in bad taste, rhinos are endangered."
And so their meetings went similarly, Jason’s threat of ‘stay out of my way’ forgotten.
Next up on his list to introduce was hand feeding and providing security, actually, and it started mostly by accident.
Jason almost shot Peter (and the experiment) to hell when the spider slammed himself into his window in the early morning hours, startling Todd into combative mode.
It took Jason a moment to realise there were bloody gashes on the guy’s chest, deep and nasty but not enough to show bone.
Jason cursed and opened the window, ignoring the fact that he had no mask nor helmet on when he greeted the web slinger into his room.
"I am pretty sure you’re not blind so mind telling me why are you here instead of General?" He asked, helping the grunting spider settle on his bed in a position that would least aggravate his injuries.
“Maybe I missed your stark personality and impeccable bedside manner?” Spider-Man tried, a bit of humor shining through obvious hurt and exhaustion.
Jason shook his head, not wasting any time to clean the web slinger’s wounds. They didn’t bleed heavily so the injury wasn’t as fresh as he’d have thought.
“Quiz time. Do you, a) heal crazy fast or b) are reckless and finished patrol looking like a velociraptor’s victim?” he asked, tilting his head, already with a scolding expression as he noticed Parker sheepishly chuckle under his breath.
“Can I call a friend for this one?”
“Nope.”
“Damn. Ask the audience?”
“The audience is saying b, webhead.”
"Yeah, it’s B." He hissed as Jason pressed a little bit too hard on a wound. "Figured if anyone can take care of these and not spill it’s the one masked avenger. Which, I didn’t really think would be unmasked when I came by."
"You didn’t come by, you slammed into my window like a pigeon." Jason corrected, putting ointment on the gashes. "And I don’t make a habit of sleeping in the helmet, it would fuck up my spine. Mask is uncomfortable in the long run too, and would make my skin break out."
The freakish white lenses stared at him in silence as he worked, only an occasional hiss or whine escaping the spider as Todd worked on his injuries.
"Take a picture, it will last longer." That seemed to snap Parker out of whatever trance he was in. "So, what’s the verdict? Am I pretty?"
"No, just… didn’t think you’re this young. Expected like, a thirty year old or something." Jason raised an eyebrow. "Not that you’re ugly! You’re not, you’re pretty. And definitely not old. Not that thirty is old just—"
"How about I’ll put you out of your misery and change the subject, spandex man?" Parker was flustered enough to ignore the nickname and simply nodded. "I don’t mind you seeing my face. It’s the media I don’t want having it, don’t want to give people something like that to tear apart or jerk off to."
He couldn’t see it behind the mask, but Jason could’ve sworn Peter cringed at the words.
"Yeah, they can be… descriptive. Makes me regret picking a tight outfit sometimes."
"It does leave very little to the imagination." Jason agreed, wrapping up the spider’s chest.
Parker chuckled, sounding less winded and hurt than before.
"Been staring much? Buy me dinner first at least!"
"How about I cook for you instead?" Jason quipped back without hesitation, staring into the white lenses. "Because I can bet Bucky’s arm you haven’t eaten anything but donuts, coffee and pizza in the last three days."
"I—" a growling stomach cut off any lie or excuse Peter might have had. His sigh of defeat was enough for Jason to start moving.
"There’s nothing wrong with donuts and pizza…"
"There is if that’s the only thing you eat. And your taste in coffee is terrible, so make yourself comfortable and wait for the food." The Spider thankfully just shut up and leaned back on Jason’s bed, easing the tension on his chest.
By the time Jason came back with the food Spider-Man seemed to have dozed off, head propped on the wall behind Jason’s bed, only stirring because of the smell of spices and warm food.
"All yours, Spandex Boy." Jason put the bowl into Peter’s hands, quick to actually give the guy a fork before Parker starts using his hands. The white lenses stared at the steaming rice like he was ready to pounce on it at any second.
Jason set a tall glass of water on the bedside table and moved to the door.
"I’m going to wash the dishes now, so just eat without the mask. There’s no cameras in here, I’ll knock before I enter." He did not add that he already knew who was under the mask because Peter was horrible at keeping his identity a secret.
It took him maybe a few minutes to clean up after the impromptu dinner — he was sure he’d get an earful from Bucky about wandering at night again — but when he came back, the bowl was licked clean and the spider leaned back on the bed, looking blissed out.
"Ever considered switching careers to become a chef? 'Cause I’m giving you five stars." Jason chuckled at that, giving the spider a quick glance over to make sure nothing started to bleed through the bandages.
"Few teammates have mentioned it. I think I’d miss beating your ass in the field though, I’d have to take it out on the sous chefs."
Parker laughed and immediately winced, doubled over to hold his chest.
"Ah, so I’m saving all the sous chefs from the wrath of chef Jason, good to know. Ever thought of yoga? Does wonders for anger management."
"I already do yoga." Jason mused, picking up the dirty dishes.
Parker sat up, a beat too fast which resulted in another hiss of pain.
"Wait, for real?" Jason shrugged, giving Peter nothing more than a smirk. "Cruel, sir, you are cruel."
"That’s the idea for most crime lords." They never really spoke more than the quips and back and forths in the field, nevermind divulging into their backstories.
This, Jason sharing a crumb of knowledge with Spider-Man, cooking him food and patching him together at three in the morning, felt too intimate for complete strangers.
Still, neither of them seemed to mind. It was far from the last time, too.
Peter made it a habit to swing by the Tower a few times a week, usually around evening or night, sporting different injuries. Anything from cuts, bullet wounds or even broken ribs.
Jason figured he had some accelerated healing but nothing like Bucky or John, and he was definitely not immortal like himself or Bob. No, Peter was not so lucky and it was a miracle he wasn’t dead in a ditch with how often he got smacked around by supervillains.
Apart from playing a nurse to a spider, Jason also made it his mission to feed the man. It started with disposable coffee cups being left on the roof or balcony with a drawn spider on them. Like clockwork, each would be empty the next morning.
Sandwiches were added next — nothing too big. Grilled cheese, turkey melts, avocado toasts. Easy to make and quick to eat. Those too would disappear, and sticky notes with drawn smiley faces and thank you’s would be left in their place.
Eventually, after a few weeks, real dinners were added. Homemade and warm, usually the same thing Jason would make for the Thunderbolts on the given day but sometimes he’d make something just for Peter. Usually they would be recipes his mama used back when things weren’t as bad.
From what Jason read, Peter was raised by his aunt and uncle and the latter passed away back when he was sixteen. He figured a taste of home would be nice.
So, a few steps of the plan "Domesticate a Spider" were done.
Scent familiarity was somewhat of an accident, or a result of Parker being painfully predictable. Most likely both.
It was getting cold in New York and spandex usually did not come with an extra layer thick enough to make it warm at night.
When Spider-Man’s ill-timed sneeze alerted Scorpion mid stakeout and turned a stealth mission into an hour long goose chase after Gargan while avoiding getting poisoned with whatever the man cooked up that time, Jason’s had had enough and no amount of puppy-lenses could get Peter out of a scolding session.
"Come here, you freak." He growled and unceremoniously grabbed Parker by his arm, eyebrows frowning as he felt just how cold the man was. "Just because you wear blue doesn’t make you Elsa, wear an appropriate costume for the weather."
"It would mess up with the aerodynamics—" Jason put his hand on Parker’s mouth, muffling the nerd-out he was about to blurt out.
"I don’t care. It’s October. Wear a fucking jacket." He said, leaning in to emphasise the point. He and Parker were roughly the same height, but Jason’s helmet and combat boots added a few extra inches. Besides, the voice modulator made him seem more intimidating.
Jason took off his biker jacket — one with a fur lining inside — and set it on the spider’s shoulders.
"There, put it on before you get the urge to start singing Let it Go."
Parker’s lenses narrowed.
"One, I can’t just take your jacket, your kevlar isn’t warm either!" he said, exasperated. "And two, I never pegged you for a Frozen fan."
"You never pegged me, period." Jason quipped immediately, proud of the indignant squeak that left Peter’s mouth. "And I have taste. Bob, me and Lena watch plenty of animated movies. Frozen was on the list."
He fixed the jacket on Peter’s arms.
"You’re not what I expected from a mercenary crime lord with a duffel bag full of heads." Parker huffed out. "What was that for, by the way? Wanted to one up Jason Voorhees?"
"I’m a big fan of Jack O’Lantern." Jason deadpanned. "And I’m reformed, an official Avenger and all. Now put the jacket on, Webhead."
Peter did, eventually, put on the jacket but not without making it painfully obvious that he was doing it because Jason was forcing him.
However, the grumpiness melted away with the newfound warmth as Parker hugged himself in the jacket.
"Oh, man that is warm." He admitted. "And smells like you. Huh."
Jason tilted his head, since the helmet severely limited his options to express himself.
"Huh?" He repeated in a deadpan tone.
Spider-Man immediately raised his hands in a pacifying motion.
"Not a bad huh! A good huh! Just didn’t think you’re a floral scent type of guy! I expected sandalwood or citrus, something like that."
Jason snorted, crossing arms on his chest.
"Thinking a lot about how I smell, Spidey?" he asked and lowered his voice an octave. It was a golden opportunity to mess with Parker and it was funny how the guy would squawk when taken off guard.
"Well, maybe, you never know when we’re going to be locked in a tight space together." He shrugged, feigning nonchalance.
"Hopefully never, for your sake. I don’t do well in tight spaces." Being buried alive would do that to you. "So you dream about smelling me and being in tight spaces with me—"
"Now you’re just twisting my words!"
"Any other nesting behaviors from you? Is that a furry thing? Cause I have to break it to you, but you’ve got to be rich to be a furry." Jason watched as Parker’s lenses changed shapes rapidly to reflect his flabbergasted state.
"You know what, you won. I actually cannot think of an answer to that. Yet!" The raised finger was not quite as threatening as Parker thought.
"You can’t see that because of the helmet but I am quaking in my boots." Jason deadpanned.
Peter seemed undeterred by the monotone voice of his ally, bouncing on his feet as he promised that he would get Hood one of these days and it took all of Jason’s strength not to point out the double meaning behind the guy’s words.
Throughout October, more and more of Jason’s clothing found its way to Spider-Man’s closet. Gloves – because the man was going to freeze his hands off sooner or later – a scarf, a sweater here and there. They seemed to be the spider’s favorites, either because of the soft fabric or just because Peter’s civilian clothing usually was made out of sweaters.
Another step on the list was done, which left two steps – positive reinforcements and the ‘hands on handling’ which to Jason just seemed like touching. The book said to begin with neck or back and who was he to argue with an academic source?
It seemed only logical to combine the two steps.
It started small – just appreciative nods and thumbs up during their team-ups during the jobs, Jason grunting out thanks whenever Spider-Man helped him in a tough spot or set him up for a knock out. He could already notice the spider beaming at those small gestures.
Then, gradually, Jason introduced compliments which had an unforeseen but amusing effect on Parker. It wasn’t like Jason went out of his way with them either, they were all prompted by something.
A ‘good job’ after a finished gig, ‘you did well back there’ or ‘that was beautiful’ when Peter did some of his crazy acrobatic take downs. Depending on how well focused the spider was, he either just responded back with ‘you too!’ or his own compliment while he was still full of adrenaline, or he’d become a sputtering mess if it was well after the tension went down.
A week and a half in, Jason introduced the touches alongside the compliments. A pat on the back following a ‘you were great out there’ or a reassuring squeeze of the arm with a ‘you’ve done great’.
Since Parker never startled at either of those, Jason got bolder.
He’d often comment positively on the more complex take downs and combos Peter sent or he’d praise the spider for dodging a hit or taking down a few enemies at once. He’d throw in a ‘looking good up there’ or ‘now that’s art!’ more and more.
He didn’t even notice when it became mutual. High-fives, bro-fists and pats on the back were regular in their interactions now and Spider-Man initiated them himself more often than not. He’d make comments of his own, complimenting Jason’s skills and form or praising him mid fight.
It just made Jason’s job easier as he began to sometimes leave a hand on Parker’s back to steady him or check him after a worse fight.
It would linger even as they’d be talking to the cops, filling them in as to why there were a bunch of criminals webbed together – some needing medical attention – and Jason would absent-mindedly move his hand up and down, fascinated with how Peter’s back felt under his fingers.
The muscles would twitch sometimes, still high on adrenaline and sensitive and he’d soothe them into relaxing as Peter was trying his hardest to focus on a coherent retelling of events to some detective.
The funniest – to Jason – instance was when he decided to put his hand on the back of Peter’s neck instead of the back and just circle his thumbs over the suit wrapped skin, massaging the man.
He didn’t particularly think of it being a potential source of trouble for the spider since he was on the phone talking to a friendly detective and they weren’t immediately coming down from after a fight.
He also did not expect that Spider-Man would melt into a puddle and almost fall off the rooftop, as if a button was pressed to just take away the man’s strength and balance all in one swoop.
A startled laugh left Jason’s lips as he tightened his hold to not let Peter fall five stories down onto his face.
“Whoa, there, itsy bitsy, at least wait for the rain to wash you out, huh?” he said, giving the spider a careful once over. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Peter was drunk or high with the way he just felt limp.
The white lenses narrowed and widened, as if blinking slowly.
“Hm?” No quip back, no joke, now that was serious.
“Earth to the webslinger? You with me?” he asked, growing worried. Peter nodded, albeit groggily. Jason thought that, perhaps, it was the five hours of sleep catching up to the guy.
He took his hand away and almost jumped at the noise he heard coming out of Pete. It was indescribable, definitely unhappy but not overtly. He watched as Peter absent-mindedly touched his own neck, rolling his shoulders slightly.
Now Jason couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m sorry, did the neck massage just activate some sort of cuddle-bug mode?” he asked, nudging the spider with his shoulder.
“Man, see how you will laugh when I’ll do it to you, huh?” Even the threat was weak, and judging by the sudden freeze up Peter realised what he said.
Jason chuckled, taking off his helmet and setting it down. He had a domino mask underneath, in case of emergencies, and he wanted to make sure he could properly emote his amusement to the spider.
“Oh do say, what you will do to me.”
Peter shook his head rapidly.
“No, nope, nopity no. I need sleep. Or coffee. Both?” He wondered out loud, looking at the sun coming down on the horizon.
Jason shook his head, putting his hand back on Peter’s neck, rubbing circles into the muscle, finding it amusing how easily the spider turned putty in his hands again.
“Neither, webhead. Just stay put and enjoy the moment, would you? You talk and I’ll start charging you and I know your ass couldn’t afford me.” He said, watching the sunset reflecting on the buildings around them.
He didn’t even notice Peter falling asleep against him until the moon was visible above them. He smiled, sending Yelena a text that he’d skip dinner as he got held up helping someone. After all, he just domesticated a spider.
What Jason did not expect with his experiment was that it could have… particular results. He was fully aware he was downright flirting at times, but a lot of vigilantes did, especially while fighting. He was also aware that he shared quite a lot with Peter – from his face to his name, regularly let him into his room, patched the guy up and fed him, not to mention impromptu neck and back massages from time to time.
He just somehow did not think to connect the dots and think that Peter would be fully convinced something was happening there, which was why when Spider-Man swung onto the balcony of Avengerz Tower next to him to blurt out “I’m bisexual” Jason was left stunned for a second.
He stared at Peter, blinking slowly, before his brain turned back on.
“That’s… great? I’m happy for you.” He said, noticing that the guy was barely keeping himself in one place from the pent up anxiety. “Spidey, you good? Had too much coffee? Inhaled some white powder by accident again?”
“No, no– it was one time! Just… yeah. I’m bi. I wanted to share that.” Jason nodded slowly. “I have a boyfriend. Sort of.” Now that was unexpected and had Jason watch Peter carefully.
“Okay…”
“We’re poly. And open. I mean he’s not– as in he doesn’t really date anyone else, but he’s fine if I do– we had a conversation about you and he said it’s fine–”
“Whoa, hold there boy, normal speed.” Peter did not look happy to potentially repeat any of that at all. “You’re polyamorous and your partner is fine with you dating others. That’s great? But how the hell did I come up during that conversation?”
Peter’s white lenses widened impossibly big.
“Because of… all of the– and the?” Jason almost forgot how impeccably eloquent Spider-Man was whenever the topic wasn’t business or jokes while fighting villains.
Jason held a hand up, making Peter quiet down for a second.
“Deep breath and a full sentence, please.”
Spider-Man exhaled, then inhaled.
“You came up because of the flirting and touching and… well. Stuff.”
“Stuff.”
“Stuff.”
“Whoa, Shakespear beware, someone’s coming for your crown.” Jason deadpanned. Peter shrugged uselessly. “I’m asexual.” Now it was the spider’s turn to freeze up.
“Congratulations…?” Jason snorted at the response. “Sorry. That was not– I’m happy for you? No, not quite… I am so not good at this, am I?”
“Nope. I am shocked you have that one boyfriend to begin with.” Jason laughed, but without malice. “Alright. I’ll bite. We date. There would be rules, to make everyone comfortable. That’s good with you?”
Peter nodded, relaxing against the railing.
“Yeah, I talked it over with MJ too–” ah, so the ER nurse was the boyfriend, Jason was betting for the Osborn guy, “–and he said I should, uh, come clean about some stuff first. Like my name and face. Also said no superheroing in the house, we cannot afford another renovation this year but apart from that– pretty much it.”
“Fair enough.” Jason moved to stand closer to Peter, reaching the edges of the Spider-Man mask with his fingers. “May I?”
The man nodded and Jason could almost imagine the electric anxiety racking over his skin with how buzzing Parker looked.
Carefully he peeled the mask off, smiling as he noticed the squashed brown hair. He reached to fix it, running his fingers through the curls before leaning forward and placing a soft peck on Peter’s lips.
“Cute.” He murmured, watching the blush creep onto his newly found boyfriend’s face. “So, Peter Parker. Want to take my picture?” he grinned, cackling as he watched the shock morph onto Pete’s face.
“You knew?!”
“Figured it out maybe three weeks after we met. You suck at this secret identity thing, by the way. We need to work on that.”
“Uh, MJ’s gonna kill me!” Peter groaned, resting his forehead on Jason’s shoulder. “Think I can bunker here to avoid my imminent death?”
Jason hummed, pretending to think as his arms wrapped around Peter’s waist.
“I don’t know, you do have to meet all of my team to do it.”
“... Oh I’m fucked aren’t I?”
“Yep!” Jason confirmed cheerfully.
Who would have thought that domesticating a spider comes with becoming the spider’s boyfriend? Well, Jason was not going to complain.