Work Text:
"Nene! Can you watch our idea for a new show?" Rui put his computer in front of Nene.
"Fine..."
"RUI! ARE YOU READY TO BECOME RICH AND ON THE RUN FROM THE POLICE?!"
"I'm already illegal in 65 countries, can't wait to be illegal in another!"
"I thought you were already illegal here."
Rui's excitement didn't waver. "Then I'll just still be illegal! Perfect!"
Tsukasa grabbed all the materials: A few bags, masks (from one of their shows), and pepper spray.
Rui grabbed a jar of spiders. "Ehehe...I hope they share your hatred of bugs."
Tsukasa took a very large step back. "GET THOSE AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"You scream like a little girl."
"That's not nice..."
Rui shrugged. "Let's go rob a bank."
They arrived very quickly at the bank.
Rui approached the front desk, wearing the mask, and opened the bag. "Excuse me?"
The person at the front desk looked up. "What?"
"Can you please give me all your money?"
"No."
Rui frowned. "But I'm poor."
"Get a job. We're hiring."
Tsukasa walked up. "We'll take the job!"
"What?!"
"We can access the money this way," Tsukasa whispered, "So this is strategic."
The front desk person sighed. "I can hear you."
"Dang."
They pressed a button, and alarms sounded. "We're being robbed by oddly polite criminals."
"I'm no criminal! I AM A STAAAAAAR!"
Fairly quickly, police arrived. Rui shook the jar of spiders. "Give us money, or I unleash the bugs."
One of the police scoffed. "Please. That's pathetic."
Rui smiled evily, and opened the jar. The spiders then unleashed giant lasers everywhere. Everyone in the building except for Rui and Tsukasa died. The building was evaporated too.
"THOSE WERE ROBOT SPIDERS?!?!?!!"
"...I brought the wrong jar..."
"WHAT."
Rui placed a hand on Tsukasa's shoulder. "We didn't get the money. We're gonna be broke for the rest of our lives."
"This is terrible! How am I supposed to afford my $500 ergonomic gaming chair now?!"
Rui looked at the imaginary camera. "Well, good thing this robbery session is sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends! Download the game, using my code "RUIKASAISTHEBESTCOUPLEEVERANDWEWILLGETMARRIEDSOMEDAY69420" for $500!"
"But wait! I forgot we're in Japan!"
"Then you can go to your local bank to exchange currencies!"
"But we LASERED OUR ONLY BANK!"
"With our second sponsor, NordVPN, you can change your location to a working bank!"
"Wow! Thank you, Raid Shadow Legends and NordVPN!"
"And with NordVPN, we can do this!"
Rui and Tsukasa had a sloppy make out session for 5 minutes.
Nene closed the video, and turned to Rui and Tsukasa. "This is the stupidest idea for a show you guys have ever made."