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Coco stared out at all the failed seals in front of her. They all looked nearly identical with only minor alterations between them. Yet, no matter how many times she tried, she couldn’t find the right balance for the seal. The spell would start so strong, then its form would collapse into a mush and peter out only seconds later. Coco had drawn so many seals at this point, knew how to make small adjustments to her spells to adapt them to her needs. It had been so long since she had a spell just collapse like this. The truly frustrating part was that she couldn’t figure out why.
Perhaps she was just overexerting herself. She just needed a break, something to clear her mind and relax her hand.
Coco set her pen down and sat back on her heels, straightening her back from being hunched over her desk. She began massaging her drawing hand as Tetia had shown her once when she woke up with a stiff and cramping wrist. Tetia was always such a big proponent of self care and comfort. It was always comical to watch her chastise Olruggio whenever he came out of his workshop groaning, joints popping and cracking. Coco had to admit it was hard to argue against her. Even in the short break so far, her body was already starting to feel much better. Although, Coco did resonate with Olruggio’s dogged determination to hammer out a dysfunctional seal. It was easy to ignore all else when there was problem right in front of her.
While Tetia was a great help, there was still lots to learn from Olruggio’s work ethics as well. What did he do when he hit a particularly stubborn snag with a contraption? It was something about unburdening the mind. Coco closed her mind as she thought back on his words. Her tired mind delayed her recall. Olruggio didn’t just set his pen aside. He would keep drawing and drawing; he would just change what it was he drew. Coco fondly remembered the time they came home to see Olruggio’s watersculpted deer running by the atelier. In an instant her mind was seized with thoughts of another witch who had a similar approach spellblock.
Coco turned to look over her shoulder even though she knew she would find the desk behind her empty. She could not suppress the sigh that came out when her eyes confirmed that Agott was, in fact, not there. She had left earlier, escaping out into the hills as she was wont to do. While Coco always enjoyed when Qifrey held class outdoors, she found Agott’s habit of taking off far away from the atelier rather confounding. For a girl who always so concerned when Coco left the atelier on her own, she didn’t show the same consideration when she flew off by herself.
Another sigh escaped from Coco. She knew she shouldn’t be so hard on Agott. She understood the other girl’s anxieties. She also knew this habit of isolation existed long before Coco had arrived. Agott had been better lately about her self-imposed punishments, being gentler with herself and doling them out with less frequency. Still, coco wished she didn’t punish herself at all, and that she could see herself as the witch Coco knew her to be. More so than that, Coco wanted her to be here, to stay when things became too much to bear. Maybe her desire to lean on Agott would dampen if Agott would reach out to her in turn.
If Coco could be more honest, then she would admit that could never be true. No matter how close she came to Agott, it only made her want to be even closer. However, as everything stood now, she still needed this small delusion. Just as Agott still needed to soar off into the skies on her own. Coco still had her habit of hiding away the things that terrified her inside, and Agott still let her impulses dictate her harmful behaviors. Coco could recognize this much, although acknowledging it didn’t make any of it easier. She still wished that she wasn’t alone right now, and that Agott was one sharing the space with her, even in silence.
Coco turned back to her own desk. Her mind and heart much to heavy to keep staring at an empty seat. She was meant to be unburdening her thoughts. Her eyes drifted to her notebook. In the margins she had doodled some of the animal sigils that Agott had taught her. Coco had taken to adapting them into what spells she could. They were beautiful, but they weren’t the same as the ones Agott drew. There was something so uniquely hers in the seals that she drew. If she tried to draw those same seals now, they would be lacking without Agott herself.
She had taken a break to clear her mind of the frustration with her spell and found herself suddenly fixated and consumed with something else entirely. This was not unfamiliar for Coco. Agott often plagued her mind. It fascinated her how, even with her ever growing mountain of worries, Agott always came to mind so easily. A phenomenon that also was growing in frequency. Coco did not hate it, yet, in moments like this it was something of a weight upon her.
With a growing restlessness, the passive hand massage had turned into a tight squeezing. Coco unconsciously gripped at the ring on her finger, pinching it tightly and twisting.
Coco gasped.
Of course! The ring Richeh had given all of them. She could follow it all the way to Agott. The idea thrilled her. Coco had always wondered where exactly it was that the other apprentice ran off to. Oh, but she didn’t want to do anything that would upset Agott. Would she consider it an intrusion? Would she send Coco away as soon as she arrived? Coco vigorously twisted the ring around her finger as she mulled it over. Since the idea came to her, she found it difficult to put it down. She wanted to see Agott’s magic, certain it would help her with her own.
It had nothing to do with the dark haired apprentice herself.
Well, Agott had been doing better with a lot of things of late. She wasn’t nearly as abrasive and gave more room for the other girls. She was joining them for meals more and more, even if she still sat apart from them during lessons from time to time. Agott would understand if Coco went looking for her. After all, it’s not like she wouldn’t worry if Coco had been the one to run off.
Coco had two problems crowding out all other thoughts in her mind. Fortunately, they both had the same solution. With that in mind, there was only one thing for Coco to do.
She jumped to her feet and rushed to pull on her cloak. That restless feeling in her chest now had a direction and a channel for its energy. It felt like there was buzzing current just underneath her skin. When she stepped out into the common space there was no one around. Coco wanted to dash towards the door immediately, but she knew should at least tell someone before she left. Qifrey was out on a job for the Great Hall, so he was expected back until dinner, which is why the apprentices were having a self study day. Coco redirected herself to impatiently knock on Tetia and Richeh’s door.
“Oh, Coco! Did you need something?” Tetia chipperly asked when she opened the door. Then she looked over Coco’s cloak and titled her head to the side. “Or are you headed somewhere?”
“Yeah, I thought I could use some fresh air,” Coco said.
“That sounds lovely. Did you want some company?” Tetia asked. Richeh inquisitively poked her head out past the door way. Brushbuddy was curled up on her collar and looked like he was mimicking the same silent question.
Coco felt a subtle warmth on her face. “Oh, no, I just wanted to tell someone before I left. I think I need sometime to think on my own.” She didn’t know how to admit that she was going off to find Agott. She didn’t know why she didn’t want Tetia and Richeh to know that either.
“Taking after Agott, I see,” Richeh commented in her gentle, low tone. For a moment Coco was shocked still and she could feel the temperature in her cheeks raise a degree. Her brain went into overdrive as it tried to mount a defense. Then she realized that Richeh meant “taking after” as in adopting her habits not as in chasing after her. She wasn’t trying to tease her, at least not in that way.
“Well, don’t go to far and be careful,” Tetia said with a smile, not catching Coco’s momentary panic.
“R-right. I won’t be gone long,” Coco said. She gave a quick wave then darted towards the door once more. She didn’t want to give her friends any more opportunity to make comments or suggest anything else.
The wind was cool as Coco raced through the sky with her sylph shoes. It helped to lower the heat that pooled in her cheeks. The entirety of Coco’s body felt better as she soared onward. There was something to flying that was a perfect release. The mix of air blowing through her hair, the weightless of her body, and the rush of speed making the world blur around her was intoxicating. At the same time, it demanded a level of focus and awareness of the body that pushed other thoughts and feelings to the corners. It was just Coco and the open sky. She could see why Agott would spend an afternoon just flying around.
Well, maybe it couldn’t push everything out of her mind.
Following the light from Richeh’s ring, Coco soon found herself in a small isolated valley. It was far away from any other people—far from the atelier, far from the nearby villages, far from any traveling roads. It was like a little haven tucked away in unassuming, rocky hills. The light led her around the rim of the valley until she came to an overhang that jutted out over the lower laying land. Agott stood at the edge of the overhang, one foot propped up on a rock and leaning her weight forward on her arms against her knee. Her pen and palm quire were in her hands, but they were as unmoving as her gaze out into the middle distance.
That focused stare allowed Coco to approach unnoticed and land softly behind the solitary witch. The smile that spread on her face was unsought and instantaneous. She bit her lip to keep her giggle locked away. She didn’t want to alert Agott to her presence just yet, to lose this opportunity to admire the striking image Agott had crafted. It was comical the frequency in which Agott seemed to put herself in these picturesque poses, but it was also something Coco adored about her. Her humor gave way to a different, warmer feeling in her chest. Her eyes traced the slopes of Agott’s profile slowly and with great care. She noted the beauty of her face, the gentle bounce of her soft curls, the stalwartness in her unrefined posture. Her heart drummed away, racing faster than it had when she was flying. This is what she sought and it was almost too much to bear.
“A little remiss for such a focused witch,” Coco called out teasingly.
Agott started, righting herself immediately. She spun around to look Coco over with wide eyes. “Coco? What are you doing here?”
“I came to find you. I was getting worried,” Coco said. She clasped her hands behind her back and took exaggerated, deliberate steps forward. She had called out to release that overwhelming feeling that was threatening to burst out of her chest, but looking at Agott’s face in full it had no intention of calming down.
“I haven’t even been gone for half the time as usual.” Agott turned away from Coco. Her face bore that tight expression that Coco always found a little hard to read.
“So? I can’t be worried about a fellow apprentice?” Coco asked with faux innocence. Agott huffed air out through her nose the way she always did when Coco threw her words back at her. Coco’s grin grew even wider. This, too, she found an endearing habit. Then, just to be certain, she added, “I’m not intruding, am I?”
Agott looked back at her. Her dark purple eyes were soft. “No. I suppose its alright. I wasn’t getting much done on my own anyways,” she admitted.
Coco brightened at this and hurried forward to take her place at Agott’s side, this place allowed to only her. It felt right, much better than being alone in their room. Her heart was still hammering away and the warm feeling from earlier was almost burning. Coco didn’t let it throw her off. It happened so often when she was with Agott she learned to find comfort in the thrill of it. This is just the way it always was when it was just the two of them. She had no wish for it to change. She wouldn’t grow tired of it.
“I wasn’t making much progress with my own spell either. What were you working on?” Coco asked.
Agott hummed in response as she sat down next to Coco at the edge of the overhang. She tucked one knee up to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. “I was contemplating guidance sigils.” She gave a short pause, enough for Coco to ask her silent question. There was something gratifying in their way of communicating without needing to say everything aloud. “They’ve been so useful to us lately. I think they could be used in lots of other new ways. I can’t help but feel they will be important for the third test as well.”
Mentioning the third test managed to subdue Coco ever so slightly. The third test was an ever-looming shadow for the both of them. It was something that meant the world to both of them for different and, yet, fundamentally the same reasons. Coco found it hard to wrangle all the emotions it brought up in her. It was okay though, because she knew she wasn’t alone. Agott was with her now and would be with her through the whole test. While she still felt so green and Agott felt so inadequate, she knew together they would always succeed, even if there was failure along the way.
“And does coming out to the middle of nowhere all by yourself help with that?” Coco asked with equal parts accusation and jest. She wanted to keep the conversation light, but she wanted to hear what Agott had to say. She had come here to unburden her mind, but she also wanted Agott to open up to her. It was a delicate balance, like drawing a seal.
“It’s helped me before—to find the peace and quiet to focus. I’ve also found inspiration in the animals and nature. So, many signs and sigils are representative of natural things. I find observing them in their natural state can give insight in how it could be used in a spell,” Agott explained. The refined lilt of her voice was one of Coco’s favorite things. She loved learning magic from Agott, just to hear her speak in the soft, careful way she did when she teaching.
“Well, that sounds like the past. What about today?”
“My head was clouded with… other things,” Agott said. A light blush bloomed across her cheeks. It thrilled Coco, flooding her chest with a tingling feeling.
“Must be something serious. When I showed up you looked so lost in thought you didn’t even notice me fly over,” Coco teased. She wanted to see that blush deepen, and it did.
“Did you really come out all this way just to find me?” Agott asked, deflecting. “You must have better things to attend to.”
“Hm. Not really. I needed to take a break from my dead end spell, and I wanted to see you. Plus, I have to admit, I was curious where you always escape to,” Coco said.
Agott gave her a sideways look. “A little rude to intrude on another witch’s haven, don’t you think?”
“Does it bother you? That I’m here and know of your little valley now?” Coco asked. She had already asked once, but she needed to be certain. Agott wasn’t always easy to read. It was easy to tell when she was upset. She always wore her emotions so openly. However, what the cause of her turmoil was usually buried deep. They both had stumbled over one of another too many times for Coco’s liking. They had apologized and forgiven, and she didn’t want to do it anymore. Not when being with Agott made her feel so sure-footed.
“No,” Agott admitted in a voice so quiet the breeze could have carried it away. “Just don’t make it a habit, and don’t tell Tetia and Richeh.”
“Promise,” Coco said with absolute fidelity. “Though I do wish you wouldn’t go off on your own so much. I was being honest when I said I was worried. Things are only getting more dangerous, and I would hate for anything to happen to you. Again.” The last word came out weak, almost stuck in Coco’s throat.
She reached over a laid her fingertips over Agott’s left forearm. It couldn’t been seen underneath her sleeve, but Coco knew about the line of a brimhat’s incomplete seal that marred the skin there. Agott tried to keep it from the others, but in a moment of vulnerability she had shared it with Coco. It squeezed Coco’s heart. She couldn’t help but think of horrible thing done to Euini being done to Agott—to Agott specifically because she meant so much to Coco. Even though it was just a simple line, it terrified Agott. She was so scared that even that would be enough to take everything away from her given the way the Knights Moralis were.
Cruor ink would fade as the spell it cast consumed its energy. However, cruor ink uncast took much longer to fade away and ink mixed with blood seemed to have drastic effects. There was no telling how long that line would be there. Or if it would ever fade at all.
Agott laid her hand over Coco’s fingers. “I’ll be careful,” she said gently. She gave Coco’s finger a fleeting squeeze. “And I won’t go out alone so much.”
“Good.”
They remained like that a few moments longer; gazes locked on hands and fingers resting upon each other. The moment felt heavy and almost burning. Coco wanted to look up at Agott’s face, to see the expression there, to find out if it matched her own. It was like there was a weight around her neck keeping her from lifting her chin. There were still things that scared her. She had things she needed to protect. Just as Coco knew Agott would not completely stop coming to this valley alone, she could not stop hiding things away behind easy smiles. Neither one of them was quite yet ready to stand and fully face what was before them. There was a certain grace in that unspoken understanding.
“You know what would help both of us with our magic?” Coco asked, sudden and energized.
Agott quickly withdrew her hand and blinked. “What?”
“If you drew some of those wonderful animal sigils of yours.” Coco put on her most convincing smile and raised her eyebrows.
“Very well,” Agott said with a chuckle. She shook her head and pulled out her quire and pen. Coco had long ago figured out Agott was inclined to entertain almost all of her requests.
They rearranged themselves so they could set their quires between them and draw with ease. In no time at all the ink was flowing, following practiced and precise pen strokes. Coco’s smile was genuine and bright. Agott let her rare laughter escape freely. There was no sense of worry between them—no more thoughts of third tests, brimhats, dangers, or fears. It was only the two of them, smiling and laughing, in a beautiful, small, hidden away valley untouched by all others in the world.
Coco knew she was meant to be watching the glowing the spell as it rose from Agott’s quire. It was a new one Agott said she just recently put together herself. Yet, as her eyes rose to follow the spell they caught on Agott’s face. Though the spell shone between them, it was like it wasn’t there at all. The spell was certainly beautiful, as beautiful as the seal that conjured it, but not nearly as beautiful as the witch who had drawn it. For that Coco couldn’t look away. It would only be an insult to the true radiance of the magic.
“You know, Agott,” Coco began in a voice just above a whisper. Her mouth moved on its own. Words she had no intention of saying were pulled from her heart. “You shouldn’t draw such dazzling spells. It’s hard to not to fall in love.”
“I can’t help it. I love dazzling things,” Agott said in the same almost whisper. Coco’s heart was pounding so loudly she almost didn’t hear her words. Yet, the moment was isolated allowing her to catch each consonant and vowel as she stared into amethyst eyes that reflected a golden light. Agott, whose eyes stopped rising with the spell as Coco's did, was unwavering in her gaze. They were just talking about magic. They couldn't be talking about anything else. Yet, Coco knew in her heart that magic was the furthest thing from either of their meanings.
Then the light from the spell dwindled out and the world was all the darker for it. Coco looked to the sky, no longer able to so openly stare without the buffer of the spell. It wasn’t her imagination. The world had grown darker as the sky’s color began to deepen with the setting sun. Far more time had passed than she noticed. She could have sworn she had only found Agott seconds before.
“Ah, it’s gotten late,” Coco said, still in a low voice. She looked back at Agott, whose face might have been covered in a deep blush, but it was hard to tell in the fading light.
“We should probably head back. Tetia will throw a fit if we’re late for dinner,” Agott said.
Agott was the first to stand up after putting away her spell crafting tools. She held out her hand to Coco who gladly took it. Agott’s hands always felt warm and solid. Coco never wanted to let go. Such hands that always pulled her to her feet and crafted the most beautiful drawings were meant to be held and cherished. They were precious hands that so delicately carved out the moment Coco needed to feel safe and brave, even if it was only a half truth. It was as if they knew that was all that she could manage now, and they found the perfect balance for it, never reaching for too much at once.
Coco let out a gasp.
“What is it?” Agott asked, suddenly concerned.
“Sorry. I just got the idea of how to fix my spell,” Coco said sheepishly.
“So, all that helped then?”
Coco smiled a smile that hid a secret, but not a fear. “More than you know.”
Although the two young apprentices could fly faster than any other witch in the whole peninsula, their flight home was leisurely. Their path meandered with no sense of urgency. Occasionally, they would let their shoulders playfully bump into one another. It was bid for connection and reminder that they weren’t alone. Coco was filled with a renewed hope that when the time came, she could be brave. She would always be able to find her strength when Agott was beside her. One day she would use that strength to do more than bump shoulders and tell her how much she loved her magic. For now, though, this half truth was enough, and the paper-thin lie could remain in place.