Work Text:
“Good morning Timothy dear.” Shelagh smiled cheerfully as her son came downstairs.
“Good morning mum. What are you making? It smells delicious.” Said Tim, smelling the breakfast.
“Bacon and eggs. Come sit at the table and I will give you your plate.”
“Thank you.” Tim smiled up at his new stepmom, “Dad! I was hoping to…”
“Sorry Tim! I’m seriously super late this morning because I forgot Dr. Thomas wanted to meet with me.” Patrick interrupted his son.
“But I…” Tim tried again before Shelagh cut him off.
“Take some breakfast to go. Here you are.” Shelagh handed him a brown paper bag.
“Thank you love.” Patrick kissed her cheek, then ruffled his son’s hair before running out the door.
“Of course.” Mumbled Tim, rolling his eyes.
“What was that?” Shelagh asked, smiling at him.
“I didn’t say anything.” Tim said back.
“Oh alright dear.” Said Shelagh pushing her eggs around on her plate. After a brief silence she spoke up, “I was going to do some baking today. Would you like to help me?”
“I was actually wondering if I could go out with my friends today. They’re all going to the carnival, and they invited me.” Tim asked slowly, “I tried to ask dad, but he ran out of the house.”
“I don’t know Timothy. You’re still on the mend, you may tire out.” Shelagh frowned.
“I won’t “tire out” I’ve been better for months. I just want to be with my mates.”
“You just had polio last December. Life threatening Polio Timothy.”
“Okay? I’ve been vaccinated, and I already had it so what can be worse? Jack got it, and he’s allowed to do whatever he wants.” Said Tim, throwing up his arms.
“I don’t want you going out without your father or I being with you. Just incase something does happen.” Shelagh tried to explain.
“Matthew’s dad will be there. And what does it matter or not if you’re with me? It’s not like you’re my mum!” Tim yelled, and stood up.
“What did you say?” Asked Shelagh in shock.
“You heard me! You’re not my mum, you’re just my dad’s wife. My mum is gone. Gone Shelagh! What do you know about losing anything?!” Tim slammed his chair, and ran upstairs to his room.
Shelagh sat as the table dumbfounded. Had Timothy really just yelled at her like that? She knew coming into an almost teenage boys life would have difficult moments, but she wasn’t expecting that.
After 10 minutes she heard footsteps thumping downstairs, and she saw Timothy peek his head around the corner. He looked at her, then went out the front door, slamming it.
Shelagh finally stood up, and walked upstairs to lay in her bed. She didn’t even clean up the plates, push in her chair, or start on any of her baking. As she lay down she grabbed the pillow Patrick uses, held it tight, and cried all day long.
Patrick didn’t come home till late that evening. He opened the front door at 7:30, and expected to see his beautiful wife standing at the table making their son his dinner plate. But she wasn’t there. She wasn’t anywhere, and the leftovers from breakfast were still sitting on the table. Knowing that it was unlike Shelagh to leave a mess he worriedly started calling her and Tim’s names, after not getting an answer back, he started looking in every room, and found nobody until he walked into him and his wife’s bedroom. She was gripping his pillow tight, her body shaking from sobbing.
“Shelagh? Shelagh love, what ever is the matter? And where is Timothy?” He asked hurriedly.
She had tried to speak, but she just kept choking. Until finally the word carnival came out of her mouth, quietly.
“Carnival?” Asked Patrick confused.
She nodded her head, and went back to her crying. Suddenly remembering again what had happened.
Patrick sat next to his wife, rubbing her back, trying to calm her while he thought of what she could’ve meant just from the word carnival. Finally he remembered that it was time for the carnival, and he was going to go get his son so he could explain what was going on.
“My love… I will be back. I’m going to pick Timothy up from the carnival, and we’re going to talk about this like a family.”
“No!” Shelagh squeaked.
“No? What do you mean, no?” Asked Patrick confused.
“Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”
“I’ll send for Sister Julienne. I won’t leave until she gets here, I promise.”
“I want my mummy.” Shelagh said softly.
“I’m so sorry my love.” Patrick stroked her back soothingly, knowing that she hadn’t had a mother for nearly 26 years, “I’m making a phone call, I’ll be right back.”
“Nonnatus House, Sister Julienne speaking.”
“Hello Sister. It’s Patrick.”
“Hello Dr. Turner! How may I help?” Answered Sister Julienne cheerfully.
“I was wondering if you could sit with Shelagh while I pick up Timothy. They had an argument, and she’s shutting down.” Explained Patrick, looking at his watch.
“I see. I’ll be there as soon as I can be.” Said Sister Julienne, “goodbye Dr. Turner.”
“Goodbye Sister.” Said Patrick, putting down the phone and rubbing his face.
“Patrick…” Came a quiet voice.
“Yes my love, I’m back. Sister Julienne will be here shortly, and I’m going to get Timothy.” Said Patrick, grabbing her hands.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For taking over Marianne’s place too fast.” Said Shelagh with tears.
“Shhh. You helped us more than you could ever imagine. Take this and sleep.” Said Patrick, giving her a broken sedative so she wouldn’t sleep for too long.
***Carnival***
“I shouldn’t have talked to my mum like that.” Tim told Jack, pulling his knees to his chest and sitting on the sidewalk.
“I mean, you were right though. She’s not really your actual mum, she can’t tell you what to do.” Shrugged Jack.
“She is my mum Jack, because my mum died. She’s the only reason I’m still in Poplar. The reason I’m still alive! She does my laundry, makes my meals, helps with my homework” said Tim before adding quietly, “and she even tucks me in at night.”
“She tucks you in?” Laughed Jack, “my mom hasn’t tucked me in since I was like six.”
“She chose to love me, and I acted like a fool.” Tim put his head in between his knees.
***Turner Home***
“Hello Sister. Thank you for being here.” Said Patrick letting the nun into their home.
“It’s no problem at all. I want to make sure Shelagh is okay.” After a brief silence she added, “do you know what their disagreement was about?”
“No I do not.” Patrick shook his head, “I’m going to pick up Timothy, and we’re going to talk about it as a family.”
“You go and find him. Shelagh and I will be alright here.” Smiled Sister Julienne softly.
“Thank you Sister. I’ll be back as fast as I can.”
“I know you will.”
Sister Julienne saw Patrick out the door, and set to make a pot of tea. The water had just started to boil when she heard soft whimpering from upstairs. She immediately turned off the stove, and went up to Shelagh.
She slowly opened the door of the bedroom, “Shelagh, my dear, are you alright?”
“Mither…” Shelagh said in a dream like state.
“Shelagh, it’s Sister Julienne.” She tried to wake her.
Shelagh had started crying in her sleep.
“Shelagh, wake up.” Sister Julienne tried multiple times before Shelagh finally opened her eyes.
“Sister?” She asked hazily.
“Yes dear. It’s me. Dr. Turner asked me to stay with you so he could go pick up Timothy.”
“Oh Sister. We had an argument. I shouldn’t have told him no, I should’ve let him go. I don’t know what to do. How can I be a mother when the only thing I remember of mine is her passing.”
“Oh come here.” Sister Julienne pulled her to her chest, “you are a wonderful mother to that little boy Shelagh. You need to give yourself credit where it is due. Tell me what happened.”
***Carnival***
“Tim?” Patrick asked, spotting the shadow of a young boy.
“Dad? Dad!” Tim ran to him.
“There you are!” Said Patrick relieved.
“Dad I’m so sorry. Where’s mum? Oh no… I’m the most evil boy to ever walk the earth.” Cried Tim.
“It’s okay Timothy. Get in the car so we can go talk to your mother. She’s waiting for us. “
“She’ll never forgive me. I just know I hurt her bad.”
“I won’t lie to you Timothy. You did hurt her feelings very badly, but she’s your mum and she loves you.” Said Patrick.
“I’m so sorry dad.” Tim lowered his head.
“Let’s save that for your mum.” Patrick shuffled Tim in the car.
***Home***
“Thank you for watching over her Sister.” Patrick said to the older nun.
“Of course.” She said before looking at Timothy behind him with his head down, “I suggest you go upstairs and see your mother.”
Tim looked up at her and bolted up the stairs.
“Did she talk to you?” Asked Patrick.
“Yes she did. She’s not mad at Timothy, she could never be mad at her son, but she’s worried about what her true place is in your home.” Said Sister Julienne calmly.
“She will always have a place here, no matter what. Thank you again.”
“It’s always my pleasure. Goodnight Doctor.”
“Goodnight Sister.”
Rubbing his hands over his face, he slowly made his way up the steps to his bedroom. As he opened the door he saw his son holding on to his mum, crying, while she held him. Her cheek pressed to his hairline, giving him tiny kisses with tears in her eyes.
“Shelagh? Timothy?” He asked gently.
“Hello Patrick.” Shelagh responded.
“Is it time for our talk?” Asked Tim, wiping his eyes.
“I believe it is.” Patrick sat on the other side of his son, “okay Timothy. How about you start.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings mum. I just wanted to ask dad a question, but he pushed me away and left before I could even finish a sentence. I wanted to go out, and you were just trying to make sure I felt better. I should have never yelled at you or called you Shelagh. I know you risked so much to be my mum and you lost your family while doing so, but I’m so glad that you were so brave, because without you I probably wouldn’t be alive anymore.” Tim choked.
“Timothy, I will always be your mum. Maybe I came in with too much confidence. I shouldn’t have tried to replace your actual mother, that’s my fault, and I understand if you’re not ready for that.” Said Shelagh, fighting tears.
“Shelagh love… you didn’t replace her. You saved us both. You’ve lost so much, I will not let you lose us too.” Patrick rubbed her shoulder, “Shelagh has lost more than just the Nonnatuns.”
“Like what?” Asked Tim.
“When I was around seven years old, I lost my own mummy. I don’t remember really anything about her except for her funeral. I do know she had auburn hair, green eyes, and freckles. She was beautiful, and my father never found anyone else to help raise me. At first I thought it was a blessing. I was free. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and with who I wanted. But when I grew up I realized just how much I needed a mum. I think if I was a boy it would be different, but a girl needs a mum. I know she would spoil you rotten.” Shelagh said with a small smile.
“So when I get a baby brother or sister they won’t get a grandmother? Only I will have one?” Asked Tim.
“Oh Timothy.” Shelagh pulled the boy closer to her.
Tim looked at his father in confusion.
“You won’t get a baby brother or sister because Shelagh can’t have children.” Explained Patrick.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Asked Timothy with hurt.
“We didn’t want to upset you. We were going to tell you when we thought you were ready.” Said Patrick.
“Then why didn’t we keep Carol when we had the chance. You knew you would never have a baby together, and when you had the chance you gave it up.”
“We didn’t know it then. If we had known we would have kept her.” Said Patrick.
“Please don’t be mad at me Timothy.” Said Shelagh.
“I’m not mad at you mum, because it’s not your fault.” Sighed Tim. He paused then spoke back up, “I’m very sorry for how I treated you this morning. I deserve to be punished, and I’m so grateful that you chose to love me and my dad. I’m glad you saved my life, literally, and I will never disobey you again.”
“I promise not to smother you, and if you want to go be a little boy and hang out with your friends, I will let you.” Said Shelagh.
After their talk and everyone was off to bed Shelagh went to check on Timothy, and heard him whimpering in pain.
“Are you alright dear?” She asked, coming into the room.
“You were right, I did tire out and now my legs are hurting so bad.” Timothy winced.
“Here, let me rub them.” Shelagh sat on the bed.
“No, I deserve this. I was so awful.”
“Nobody ever deserves to be in pain Timothy. I’m your mum, and I want to help you feel better.”
“Thank you mum.” Tim said softly.
“Of course. I love you Timothy.” Shelagh smiled softly.
“I love you too.”