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Tokoyami tried to focus on what Aizawa was saying. The growing stack of homework he didn’t understand back in his room told him he needed to listen, but as he sat there in class… well. Suffice it to say he was more than a little distracted.
In front of him, Shoji Mezo watched attentively with his dupli-arms while his two main eyes looked down at his notebook. His quirk would probably make taking notes easier, Tokoyami supposed. If only he could get Dark Shadow to do something like that. Unfortunately, it wasn’t good at paying attention with Shoji in the room–Tokoyami and Dark Shadow both.
Tokoyami suddenly realized one of Shoji’s eyes was trained on him, and Tokoyami blushed, quickly looking away. How long had Shoji been watching Tokoyami look at him? He must be pretty creeped out. Tokoyami looked back up, and the eye was back on Aizawa, the dupli-arm having shifted slightly. Tokoyami couldn’t help but wonder how those dupli-arms would feel as they wrapped around him, encasing him warmly and snugly, how safe he would feel as he was pulled closer to the taller boy’s torso, how his face would press against his chest…
The bell rang and shook Tokoyami out of his day-dream. He looked at his blank pages of notes with dismay. He knew he would fail if he couldn’t focus, but he had such a massive crush on Shoji that he just couldn’t.
Shoji turned around in his chair. “Hey, Toko. Study with me?”
Tokoyami’s heart beat quickly in his chest, but he was careful it didn’t show. “Of course, Shoji. Your room or mine?”
Tokoyami’s room was dark, which naturally made Dark Shadow harder to control. Unfortunately for Tokoyami, this meant it would inevitably end up in Shoji’s lap, who would be very considerate and swear he didn’t mind as Dark Shadow nestled into his embrace. It was very embarrassing. Tokoyami had to focus hard to keep it at bay.
Tokoyami pulled out his blank notes, and Shoji did the same, saying, “Oh. You, uh… You didn’t write a lot. That’s okay. We can just use mine.”
Tokoyami’s face flushed in utter mortification. “Hmm. Sorry.” He paused. “I was distracted.” Dark Shadow pulled slightly, wanting to be let out.
“It happens. I’ll quiz you.” He picked up the paper. “What is the proper protocol when rescuing a civilian from a disaster, whether natural or artificial?”
Think, Fumikage, Tokoyami thought, although there was no point. He had no idea. “Pick them up and carry them to safety.” His voice sounded sure, although he knew he was incorrect. Dark Shadow pulled a little harder. It wasn’t making it any easier to focus.
“No. You should check if it’s safe to move closer, if they have any visible injuries, and then figure out whether they can walk. If they can’t, then you can pick them up, as you said.”
“Oh,” Tokoyami said, putting a hand behind his neck. “I should’ve known.”
“You’re totally fine! It happens. You give me one.” Shoji handed the paper to Tokoyami.
“Sure.”
They continued back and forth for a couple hours, and it was getting late, but with it being Friday, they could afford to stay up. Tokoyami got all but a few questions wrong. Every time, Shoji was sure not to belittle Tokoyami, but it was embarrassing regardless. Some Pro Hero he would turn out to be if he kept this up.
It didn’t help that Dark Shadow had become more insistent as the evening turned to night, pushing and pulling to try to escape and bother Shoji. It was stubborn that way.
“Do you wanna take a little break?” Shoji asked after Tokoyami answered yet another question incorrectly.
“Yeah. I’m exhausted, I…” Tokoyami paused, thinking carefully to not give himself away. “I didn’t sleep well. Dark Shadow kept me up.” That was discreet enough, right? Enough to not arouse any suspicion?
“Sorry to hear that. It’s cool how your quirk has a mind of its own.”
Shoji leaned back on his chair, and his shirt, which, unfortunately or fortunately, was a little small, raised slightly to reveal his belly. Chiseled pecs popped out from under the fabric, and Tokoyami quickly averted his gaze, flustered. In his haste, he allowed himself to lose focus.
Dark Shadow suddenly forced itself out, its dark form spilling from Tokoyami’s chest as it lurched forward.
“Mezo! You’re here!” It snuggled into his ready embrace–Shoji was already used to this.
“Dark Shadow–! You shouldn’t call him Mezo.”
“It’s fine. It can call me whatever.” Shoji looked down at the dark form making itself at home on his lap. “I was wondering when you were going to show up.”
“This bird-brain wouldn’t let me out.” (It’s so sassy when Shoji’s around, Tokoyami thought.)
“Well, you don’t exactly make it easy to focus, to be fair.”
“Oh, he’ll be fine. I’ll stay quiet.”
“Shoji, we should get back to studying,” Tokoyami interrupted. The sooner they could finish, the sooner they would actually get to hang out, as friends rather than study partners. It was late enough as it was.
The night continued, and as they began studying again, Shoji adjusted his strategy, teaching rather than learning. When Tokoyami told him the incorrect answer, he wouldn’t just move on, he would make sure Tokoyami understood why and how he could remember. He was really so, so kind.
Meanwhile, Dark Shadow was revelling in its hug. Shoji’s dupli-arms moved slowly, petting it and kneading it into putty, and it was clearly loving the attention. It sighed occasionally, and Tokoyami’s slight feeling of jealousy grew and grew as he felt it completely relax in Shoji’s grip. Dark Shadow talked about it, sometimes, especially when his feathered host was trying to get his eight hours. He talked about how warm it was, and how comfortable, and safe… it was the main reason Tokoyami lost sleep sometimes. He was longing to be held.
After a couple hours of studying, Tokoyami must’ve glanced at Dark Shadow a little too long, because Shoji brought it up.
“Do you need something? I can tell you’re still distracted.”
Yes, Tokoyami thought, and although it would be a while before Tokoyami could voice aloud what he wanted, he imagined for a moment how Shoji would react to his request. Would he be okay with it? Understanding?
Tokoyami really couldn’t tell.
“Uh…” His heart was racing. “No, I’m fine. I appreciate you asking.”
This earned a grumble from Dark Shadow, who addressed Shoji. “He wants you to hug him. I guess he can have a turn, since he wants it so bad, but I will be coming back soon. I can only feel his emotions a little bit, but I’m not even enjoying myself because of how much he’s pining for you right now. Ugh.”
And it retreated back into Tokoyami’s chest, as if what it had said wasn’t a big deal at all. Dark Shadow couldn’t just… say stuff like that. Couldn’t just give away all Tokoyami’s secrets. He reluctantly met Shoji’s eyes, expecting the worst, but they were kind. Soft.
“You want to be hugged?”
“...Yeah. I… I don’t know why, really. It’s weird. You don’t have to–”
But he was cut off as Shoji stepped out of his chair and pulled Tokoyami into a warm embrace. Shoji’s dupli-arms gently encased Tokoyami, and he completely melted, leaning onto Shoji. Shoji rubbed his back, just as he had with Dark Shadow, and Tokoyami relaxed every muscle in his body, trusting the embrace to hold him up.
He wrapped his arms around Shoji’s midsection, trying to make as much contact as he could. Tokoyami couldn’t think straight–as his body relaxed, so too did his brain–or else he never would have been so bold. How late was it? Surely Tokoyami wouldn’t be this tired if it wasn’t even past midnight yet. He stayed up later than that most of the time. But for some reason, he was more tired than usual.
Oh, screw it. He knew the reason.
Shoji’s voice was like honey as it rumbled against Tokoyami’s cheek. “Dark Shadow was right. You’re kinda cute, you know. Going limp like this.”
Tokoyami buried his face deeper into Shoji’s chest, to get closer to him, and, more importantly, to hide the way his feathers raised and bristled at the sound of Shoji’s voice resonating deep from within his chest. Shoji laughed softly, turning one of his tentacles into a hand to cradle the back of Tokoyami’s head.
“Man, you’re really cute like this. So clingy.”
Tokoyami groaned quietly. “Don’t tease me.” In truth, he couldn’t care less what Shoji said, so long as he kept holding him, but he wanted to keep a little dignity. If he had any left at this point, anyway. He tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered when Shoji called him cute, but to no avail. Tokoyami really had it so bad for this man.
“I meant it as a compliment. Sorry,” Shoji said, and began to slowly rock back and forth. “Are you tired? You can sleep, if you like. I don’t mind.”
“Yes. I mean, no. I couldn’t…”
Shoji started gently running his fingers through the feathers on Tokoyami’s head. “Shh. Just sleep. It’s okay. You need this. Deserve this.” And as much as Tokoyami didn’t want to encumber his crush, the gentle rocking, and the feeling of being held, and the complete bliss he was in overthrew his thoughts for the final time that night. He dropped into a peaceful sleep.
Tokoyami had wonderful, wonderful dreams.
Dreams where Shoji loved him just as much as he loved Shoji. Dreams where Shoji whispered I really, really want to be with you, Fumi, in his ear as they snuggled and got closer to one another, telling him how much he loved him, how badly he needed him. Dreams where Tokoyami’s favorite place in the world was in Shoji’s arms, and Shoji never turned him down, because it was his favorite place for Tokoyami to be too. Dreams where Tokoyami received kisses on foreheads as they laid together and Shoji held Tokoyami’s head in the crook of his neck, smelling him, feeling him with hands that travelled boldly underneath Tokoyami’s shirt and lips that planted themselves all over Tokoyami’s face, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, between his eyes, and his lips, and his lips again, and again, and again, connecting them together.
They weren’t sexual, but the dreams he had that night made him feel so, so warm and fluffy inside, and he loved it. The feeling of finally being held, or even just touched, and how badly he had wanted it without even realizing until Shoji started giving it to Dark Shadow. It was a hunger that grew silently until it was whetted, and it had been growing for Tokoyami’s entire life. Now that he had a taste, it took over his every thought. He needed more, and more, and more.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Tokoyami understood this couldn’t be real, but would it hurt so bad to let it play out? Let himself have this? These wonderful, amazing dreams that could never really happen. He didn’t think so. So, that small part of him that understood they weren’t real let the dreams play out. They were vivid, and so, so good, and how could he not want them to never end?
After a strange pause, another one started. He laid completely on top of Shoji, his head resting on firm pectorals. Shoji’s dupli-arms surrounded him, gently squeezing and massaging him in the best ways. Tokoyami had never known true relaxation before this dream, he realized. His limbs were all so heavy, but somehow, he knew it was okay, because Shoji would keep him safe. Shoji, Shoji, Shoji. When had his crush become this bad? That he was dreaming of–
Wait.
Something about this one was different.
Tokoyami mustered up the strength to push one of his fingernails into his palm, and sure enough, felt the pain there. He looked around his room, suddenly aware.
What.
This wasn’t a dream. He was laying in Shoji’s arms, being held, being so needy, clinging onto him like a koala.
What.
And Shoji was just… letting him? Not only that, he was reciprocating, too: holding him, cradling the back of his head in one of his palms, massaging him, trying to knead him into putty like he had with Dark Shadow the night before.
The night before.
Memories washed over Tokoyami, slowly, like a river rather than a wave. They studied together. Dark Shadow told Shoji that Tokoyami pined for him (he would have to kill it later,) and then Shoji had suddenly taken Tokoyami into his arms. He must’ve laid down after Tokoyami fell asleep, and accidentally fell asleep himself. Tokoyami needed to get out of there to save Shoji from embarrassment, but it would be difficult, seeing as he was currently stuck inside what could only be described as a cocoon. A very warm cocoon. That also happened to be extremely dreamy.
Tokoyami sighed. There was no way he could escape this, especially not when he didn’t even really want to. So, he relaxed back into Shoji’s grip, letting the pressure and subtle squeezing turn each part of his body soft and limp, dropping back off to sleep.
“Hey. Wake up, sleepyhead.”
Tokoyami’s dreams hadn’t started up again, unfortunately. He would’ve loved to have more whispering in his ear, those kisses being generously peppered all over his forehead, but he had no such luck. Oddly, he found himself wanting to wake up for once, because he now knew what waited for him.
A gentle shake. “Handsome. You need to wake up now.”
Getting called handsome by Shoji was more than enough caffeine for Tokoyami. His eyes shot open, looking up at Shoji’s face, and as if his heart hadn’t been through enough for one night, Shoji’s mask was off. He didn’t take off his mask for anyone. Why was Tokoyami being trusted so much?
“Relax. It’s only me,” Shoji said, tightening his grip on Tokoyami. “You’re so tense. How about I help with that?”
His arms began squeezing and pushing in that way they had before, and Tokoyami couldn’t help but sigh as every muscle in his body became weak and helpless. His head fell back down onto Shoji, not able to force himself to get up.
“You’re so adorable, you know that, Toko?” Shoji pulled him higher as he spoke, his breath hot on Tokoyami’s forehead.
That fluttering again. “Please don’t tease me.”
“I know you love it. Dark Shadow told me while you were asleep.”
Tokoyami paused.
He was really going to have to kill it later. First, assess the damage.
“What else did it tell you?”
“That you were so, so happy when I hugged you. That you wouldn’t mind at all if I slept with you in my arms. That it hadn’t seen you look that peaceful in quite some time. And…” Shoji’s grip grew tighter, his smile growing. “That you have a crush on me.”
Tokoyami’s heart dropped.
No. No no no no no. Dark Shadow wouldn’t betray him that badly, right? And yet, Shoji knew, and he couldn’t know unless Dark Shadow told him.
“Is it true?” Shoji looked down at him, and Tokoyami wouldn’t meet his eyes. Now was his chance to lie, to get out of this situation, but it was also a chance to tell him, Tokoyami realized. A chance to get it off his chest in an easier way than just saying it.
“Yes.” For once, his voice wasn’t sure of itself at all. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall for you, I just… I couldn’t help it. I hope you’ll accept my apology.”
“I should’ve known.” Shoji’s grip was so warm, and so tender, and it filled Tokoyami’s heart with a warm, fluffy feeling. Overfilled it. Maybe his friendship wouldn’t be ruined after all–Shoji clearly enjoyed having him like this. “You’re always staring at me during class. Always so polite around me. Always so flustered. Come to think of it, you’re always embarrassed by Dark Shadow when it shows affection towards me, too.”
Tokoyami held tighter with anxiety, but Shoji traced lines up and down his back with his hand, letting him know it would be okay.
“Listen, I need you to understand that I really thought you knew this whole time.”
“Knew what?”
“That I have a crush on you,” Shoji said. “I thought you were trying not to give me the wrong idea, and that’s why you were always so careful around me. You didn’t want me to think I liked you. But, now that I know you do…” He looked down, still with that gentle smile and those soft eyes.
“Toko… Do you wanna go on a date?”
Tokoyami would be less happy if Shoji had offered him the world. After all this time, Shoji had felt the same way. If only he had told him sooner. If only Dark Shadow had told him sooner.
Perhaps he wouldn’t have to kill it later after all.
“Fumikage, if you like. And, yes. Please, yes. That would make me so happy.”
Shoji’s smile grew. He burrowed his face into the top of Tokoyami’s head, inhaling and mumbling something about how it would make him happy, too. He had never seen Shoji be so soft for anyone before, and the situation suddenly struck him.
Date. With Shoji.
He was so overwhelmingly happy. He had just spent a night snuggling with someone, Shoji, no less, and now they were going on a date. Shoji wanted him back.
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
Nothing could've prepared Tokoyami for the kiss Shoji pressed against his feathers in response. His lips felt soft, and kissed him so tenderly, and it was real, so the fact that Tokoyami’s brain essentially short-circuited was completely understandable. Shoji stayed with his lips pressed against Tokoyami’s crown for a while, but all Tokoyami could think as Shoji pulled away was more, more.
That rumble against Tokoyami’s cheek again. “What do you want to do for our date?”
Tokoyami grumbled. “Talk about it later. I just want to spend the morning with you. In your arms.”
Shoji chuckled softly and rolled to the side, staring into his best friend’s eyes.
“Tokoyami… you can be in my arms as much as you want.”