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In this world, people were classified into three categories: Caregiver, Little, or Flip. The system had been established decades ago, born from the recognition that some adults needed to regress, to become small, vulnerable, dependent for their mental health, while others found their purpose in providing that safety, that holding, that unconditional care. Caregivers were the steady ones, the anchors, the ones who could hold space without demanding performance. And Flips the ones who could be either, who shifted between needing and being needed.
Today was checkup day for all the girls. The caregivers, Sophia and Lara, had finished their examinations in the morning; routine vitals, stress markers, the confirmation that they were fit to hold others. Now they were back, each assigned to a little, while Daniela and Manon, the flips, the ones who could be either, were still in the longer examination rooms down the hall.
The littles slipped as soon as they saw the building.
Yoonchae had been big in the car, chatting with Sophia about the weather, about practice, about nothing.
But the moment the clinic doors opened, the smell hit her antiseptic, sterile, the people… She felt herself drop, her hand finding Sophia's with a small, desperate sound.
Megan's slip was quieter, she'd been performing fine, helped pack her own little things and Yoonchae's was walking with Lara's hand in hers, swinging their arms slightly, almost playful. Then she saw the posters on the wall cartoon animals holding thermometers, smiling nurses with oversized syringes and something in her chest froze, became very small and very scared.
Lara felt it immediately. The hand in hers went limp, then tight, then trembling. She pulled Megan close, side hugging her as they walked, murmuring nonsense against her hair. "I've got you, baby. We're just visiting. Just a quick hello. Then home."
They entered the waiting area, divided unofficially by furniture arrangement caregiver chairs upright and individual, little spaces soft and colorful, Sophia guided Yoonchae to a little corner, settling her with small cat plushie she'd brought and a sippy cup of water.
When they were called, Lara led Megan to the soft pink room, the one designated for littles, that smelled like lavender and a bit of anxiety.
The room was small, designed to soothe. There was a table with crayons, a basket of stuffed animals, a chairs wide enough for two. But Megan didn't seemed interested in any of that.
The doctor entered without knocking, her presence bright and sudden, making Megan flinch. She was younger than expected, with kind eyes
"So what's your name?" Dr. Sophie asked, crouching to Megan's level, her voice gentle, the kind of tone that worked with littles who were scared, who were trying to be big to survive this.
Megan only muttered incoherently, pressing closer to Lara, her face buried in the Indian girl's shoulder.
"It's okay," Lara murmured, stroking her hair. "Tell her your name, baby."
"Megan," she mumbled, slightly louder, feeling brave for having spoken at all.
"That's a beautiful name!" Dr. Sophie smiled, warm and real. "I'm Sophie."
Megan peeked out, interest flickering through fear. "My bestie has the same name! But she's Sophia. Not Sophie. Sophia."
The distinction mattered, somehow, in her little mind. Sophia was her person, her caregiver sometimes, her friend always, and this doctor was Sophie, similar but different, safe but not safe.
The doctor's smile widened. "That's so cool! Megan, I'm just going to talk to your caregiver for a moment, okay? You don't have to do anything. Just listen, or don't. Whatever feels safe."
Megan listened, despite herself, despite wanting to disappear into Lara's shirt and never emerge. She heard words developmental markers, stress indicators, nutritional baseline the clinical language of a system that categorizes them.
"And how long has she been in regression?" Dr. Sophie asked, pen poised.
"Since the parking lot," Lara said. "Maybe before. She doesn't always tell me, doesn't always know herself. We're learning together."
"That's common," Dr. Sophie nodded, making notes. "Flips and littles both, the boundary isn't always clear. Especially under stress." She looked at Megan, softening. "Are you feeling stressed, Megan?"
Megan shrugged, but her hand found Lara's, squeezing. She was stressed because the building smelled like hand sanitizer and fear.
"Okay," Dr. Sophie said, not pushing. "Let's do the easy stuff first. Can you show me how old you feel?"
She looked at the Indian girl, who nodded, and back at the nurse.
"This much!" She lifted two fingers, then three. "No... this much."
"Wow, that's too much! You're a big girl."
"No, I not big girl!" She pouted with a huff, earning chuckles from the other two.
"You're not?" She shook her head.
"Mei little!"
"Oh, that's okay too." She said softly
"Now, would you let me examine you? It's pretty quick. Your mommy will stay right here watching you."
Megan seemed a bit resistant at leaving Lara, but the reassuring smile convinced her to stand up and sit at the examination table. The paper crinkled underneath her once she sat.
The doctor examined her eyes, ears, throat, and listened to her heart and lungs with the cold stethoscope that made Megan squeak slightly but alway glancing at Lara in hope of being protected if anything goes wrong at the examination.
"And that's it, you seem pretty healthy. You can go back to your place."
She smiled before quickly snuggling next to Lara again. She didn't pay that much attention to their conversation. She was too absorbed in playing with the teddy bear she'd brought along, making it dance silly on her lap, they would go home soon anyways.
They only talked about boring stuff, keep with the normal pills, eat healthy, always have rest in her schedule...the same things every time. But then the doctor stood up, talking to Lara.
"Some littles, usually smaller ones, nurse during or cuddle or use pacifiers so the process it's less stressful. Talk to her so it can pass smoothly."
She crouched a bit to talk to Megan, who finally looked up. "I will bring a lollipop and some stickers for you after."
She nodded but was confused. After what?
She looked up to her caregiver in hope of having answers.
Lara looked at Megan like she wasn't sure how to tell her. "So... baby, you need to get your booster shot—" but before she could keep explaining, the little was already squirming.
"No, no shot! Mei healthy!"
"Meg, it's okay, I'll hold you, it will be quick." Lara tried to reassure, but Megan wasn't listening, just starting to cry while trying to escape the caregiver's hold.
"Don't want it!"
"You can hold your bear or me, or even quiet with your pacifier." Megan didn't listen again but bit her arm, earning a surprised gasp, and walked quickly out of the room.
"Ugh- Megan." Lara wasn't even mad at her for biting because she knows the little is not in her normal self and very stressed. She stood, running after her, making sure she didn't go far.
Megan did not go far. As soon as she left the room, she collided with Yoonchae, who had a slightly red face, one tear streak, a lollipop in her mouth, and was holding a sticker page as she clung to Sophia.
Megan would have fallen back on the floor if it wasn't for Lara, who scooped her up. But her attention was on the other little, who had a small bandaid on her arm.
"They got you too?" she asked, worried, and Yoonchae just shrugged, not sure about what she meant.
"Where are your lollipop and stickers? Look, I got the animals one."
Megan, a bit calmer, sniffled. "I didn't get them..." She hiccupped, wiping tears clumsily.
"That's because you didn't get your shot, baby. The doctor would give you after, remember?" Lara reminded softly adjusting her in the grip
Megan nodded. "But it hurts, don't wanna take shot."
She pouted, her lower lip out, and if it wasn't an important thing like vaccination, Lara would have given in to all her whims with this cute little face.
"I know, I know, it's just to keep you healthy, and not hurt more when sick... Yoon got a shot too. I know you can do it."
She nodded, taking a shivering deep breath. "Hm... brave."
"So let's go back?" Lara asked, and Megan looked at the Korean, her main inspiration and survivor now, with a certain nod.
Going back to the room, the older one settled on the wide chair, made for a caregiver to hold your little, with Megan on her lap.
"Feel ready now, little one?" the doctor asked with a soft smile. Megan nodded, hiding her face on Lara and sucking her thumb nervously with her eyes shut, but being cooperative with the other arm still.
The shot was fast, and Megan let out a cry, different from before, more hurt and small. She could hear Lara mumbling softly, "It's over, baby, you're so brave, Mei Mei."
The doctor used a cute bandage on the place. "You did so good, Megan! Wanna choose your stickers?"
She nodded, sniffling, and reached for the lollipop she just got handed. Oh, tutti frutti!
"So we got princess, animals, fairi-" Sophie said, pointing to the various pages she had on the table, until one got Megan's attention.
"Spider-Man!" She pointed and looked up at the doctor, who smiled a bit surprised.
"You like Spider-Man? You can take it."
She picked the page and a small smile appeared on her crying red face.
"T'ank you," she mumbled, holding her bear and taking a close look at her stickers while Lara finished talking about important things to the professional, getting interrupted once or twice by the little showing the stickers again and muttering, "Spider-Meg."
And soon enough, Megan was being carried back to the car. She couldn't wait to get home and place her stickers on her iPad, but until then she deserved a nap. Going to the doctor is so tiring!