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Dean slid down the wall of the counter to a sitting position on the floor. Staring at the photo he picked up the whiskey bottle next to him and took a long drink.
He looked down at the half empty whiskey bottle in his hand and shook his head. He had promised himself he wouldn't drink like this again but god knows he could never keep that promise. He looked back at the picture in his hands and sighed. It was a picture of him and Sammy with their mom.
Today was the anniversary of her death and although each year it got easier it still managed to hurt like a bitch. Every year he got shit-faced and cried when no one was around.
He tried so hard to be strong in front of Sam because he was the big brother. He had to take care of him because even though Sammy had never really known mom it hurt him all the same. He always felt like he had a piece of him missing. But Sam knew that underneath the facade, Dean was hurting the most out of the two of them. Although he had tried to comfort his older brother, Dean pushed him away and said he was fine.
A hand was placed on his shoulder pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked up in a haze to find out who was attached to the hand. Staring at him with sad hooded eyes and a frown was Cas. Dean realized he had tears streaming down his face and quickly wiped them away.
“Come on…let’s get you to bed.” Cas said to him pulling him up by his waist. “No, no s’fine Cas. I can walk on my own.” Dean insisted gently pushing the other man way. Cas let go reluctantly, eyeing him carefully.
Dean went to take a step forward and swayed grabbing onto the counter for support. “No, Dean you can’t…let me help you.” As the other man stepped forward to grab onto Dean he backed away, falling onto his ass.
“Dammit!” Dean yelled out beginning to cry again because it was all too much. “I don't need yer help! Im fucking fineee. God why cant i do anything myself without fucking it up!” Cas thought that he was overreacting but knew that there was more meaning underneath his words.
He looked at him with sad eyes. Dean had his face in his hands sobbing into them. Cas knelt down beside him and started to rub circles into the other mans back in an attempt to soothe him. “M’sorry Casss” Dean said slurring his words. Cas stood up pulling Dean with him. “Come on, let me put you to bed.” “Okay”
Once Cas had finally gotten Dean back to his room he sat him down on the edge of the bed. Dean sat there and swayed while Cas pulled off his shoes. “Okay, under the covers you go.” Cas said putting Dean into the bed. As he began to turn around to leave the room a hand pulled on his wrist.
He turned back to see Dean looking up at him with half-lidded eyes and a frown. “Please stay, Cas…”
“Okay…” Cas began to go sit in the chair at Dean’s desk but stopped when Dean spoke again. “No…can you lay with me?” “Dean, I don’t know if that is acceptable given your current state.” “Casss” Dean whined. “Please.”
Finally he gave in and climbed into the bed next to Dean. Cas was taken back when the larger man curled up into his side hiding his face in the crook of his neck. Of course Cas didn't mind this but he was afraid Dean would wake and regret cuddling up next to his best friend.
As much as Cas wanted to be more than that to Dean, the other man had never really shown him that he was interested in him that way.
Sure he flirted a bit but Cas was new at the whole human gestures and emotions things so he couldn't be sure that Dean wasn’t just messing around or being nice. He hoped not. He hoped that when Dean woke they could maybe be more. That this would finally break the barrier that stopped Cas from admitting his feelings.
Dean’s snoring broke him from his thoughts and Cas decided to just enjoy this moment because it could be one that never occurs again. He decided to make the most of it and cuddled up closer to the beautiful green-eyed man next to him, closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.