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Dean was sitting on the couch tears welling up in his eyes. Cas was standing in front of him with a hand over his mouth.
They had been dating for a year now. Over the course of this time they had only had one major fight, well it was more of a misunderstanding.
Dean remembered sometime in June, about 6 months into the relationship, when he had been getting a big surprise ready for Cas. He had done a little bit too good of a job of hiding what he was doing though.
When he got home one day the other man was sitting at the table with a blank expression on his face. “Cas…what’s wrong?” the other man had just looked up at him with glassy blue eyes. “Dean, if you do not wish to be with me anymore please just come forward and tell me.” He didn't say anything, shocked by the statement. It was the complete opposite of how he felt. He had never said it before because he was too much of a chickenshit but he loved his boyfriend more than life itself.
Cas waited for a reply but when one didn't come he continued. “You have been distant lately…you are almost never home and you stay late at work almost every night. If you are losing interest in this relation-“
“What! Cas no…I love you so goddamn much it scares me okay. Im not losing interest in you. I only stayed late at work these past few weeks to get some overtime. And I'm not home because i was trying to get some extra side work so i could surprise you.”
Cas looked at him shocked. “Surprise me?”
“Yea, see i was gonna surprise you with an apartment and ask you to move in with me…” Dean replied scared of Cas’s reaction. “Listen man….i know i don't say it much but Cas you have to believe me. I. Love. You. I have never felt this way about anyone before and you are so special to me. I don't want to ruin this and i completely understand if you don't want to move in. Thats fine really but-“
Dean was cut off by the other mans lips crashing into his own. He moaned as they both deepened the kiss.
Cas was the first to pull back. When Dean opened his eyes he saw the other man’s were tearing up. “Cas, I'm sorry i never meant-“
“Dean I would love to move into you. I love you so much. I hope you know that.”
Not too long after that they moved in together. It was absolutely perfect and they were both happier than they had ever been before. After that they continued to make progress and continued to take big steps in the relationship. Dean finally worked up the courage to go with Cas to see his family.
Dean was worried because Cas had a large family. There was a lot of opportunity for someone to judge him.
“Cas, i don't know. What if they hate me? What if they think I’m-“
“Dean. They wont i promise.”
“You don't know that. Im not successful like you. Im just a mechanic and all i have is a GED. I never finished school. What if they think I'm just trying to take your money?”
“Why do you think so low of yourself love?”
“I don't think that low of myself, its just the way it is.”
Cas just shook his head and laughed. “It is not. Dean you are very accomplished. It may not seem that way to others but you love what you do. You dropped out of school to take care of your younger brother. These are both admirable things that you do not need to worry about. And if they think you are trying to take my money then they can take that up with me.”
“I love you…” Was all Dean could say because he knew Cas was wrong. He wasn't accomplished. He was a failure and he didn't understand why Cas couldn't see that. He didn't even know how the man was still with him.
A week later Dean was meeting his family. He had three older brothers. Gabriel, Michael and Balthazar. He also had one sister, Anna.
Dean didn’t mind Michael and Balthazar but Gabriel was a bit of a prankster and constantly tried to get under Dean’s skin. Anna however was his favorite.
He could tell how much Cas meant to her and she didn't try to hide it either. An hour after getting there Anna had pulled him into the other room and proceeded to threaten him.
“If you hurt him i will put you so deep in the ground that you wont be able to dig your way out. Got it?” Dean just nodded his head because although this girl was small, she was also fierce. He had no doubt that she would do exactly as she had said.
For a long time after that things were good. That was until tonight, just a week before their anniversary.
Castiel had been nagging him about his drinking habits. As always when they had this conversation Dean would ignore him muttering a few insults here and there because it wasn't like Cas was perfect. “Please come one, my drinking isn't as bad as your co-dependency shit and your daddy issues.” Dean realized what he said and instantly tried to take it back but all Cas did was stand there quietly looking hurt. That was until Cas had said something that although he would never admit, was one of his worst insecurities.
“Well i never say it but if you need alcohol that much that you cant even function without it then maybe you are more damaged than i thought.” The minute Castiel had said that he regretted it, snapping his hand over his mouth. “Dean I didn’t-“
“No…no thats fine. You aren't wrong Cas. Im fucked up. Im about as damaged as they come. I just never thought that you would think that as well.”He replied folding his hands in his lap and staring at them. Tears had started to form in his eyes.
“Dean…i didn't mean that okay. It came out wrong. Please you aren't damaged i just…I never meant to say your damaged. You are far from it.”
“No I am damaged…”
“No Dean you are not. I didn't mean it please you have to believe me. I was just upset. I shouldn't have said that. I knew it would hurt you. I regret it. You just…you hurt me.”
“Im sorry Cas…I shouldn't have brought up your dad like that. I know he abandoned you. I shouldn't have used that against you. I deserved that.”
“No you didn’t. I shouldn’t have said what i did. We both fucked up.”
“Yea i guess we did…” Dean admitted staring up into those blue eyes he loved so much. “Can we forget about this please. Pretend it didn't happen. I know how you feel about my drinking and i’ll try to do better. But can we forget the awful things we said to each other.”
“Of course…i just worry about you Dean. I don't want you to end up in some hospital dying of liver failure.”
“I know, I know. I promise okay. Im sorry…”
“I forgive you Dean, and i apologize as well. You have to know i didn't mean what i said.”
“I know Cas, I love you.”
“I love you too”