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It’s their whispered voices and hushed tones that end up waking me up, though I get the feeling Isla was trying to avoid exactly that. How she expected this with three children, two of them boys, was beyond me. But that was her with her too big expectations coming from the sweetest heart possible.
“Boys- Cill! Careful!” She hisses, the concern mounting in her voice as the bedroom door creaks open.
A smile tugs across my lips as I hear the sets of feet padding across the floor. One. Two. Three- okay, that last pair is definitely Leo.
Rolling over, I peek an eye open and see Cillian creeping into the bedroom with a cheesy grin on his face and our daughter squirming in his arms. Leo was struggling to keep his balance on his tip toes, and Isla, my morning, afternoon and evening beauty carrying a cake in her hands and wincing with every ungraceful step as she tried not to trip on the clothes or shoes I’d strewn across the floor before passing out in bed last night. I’d had a bit of a late night after a mates’ bachelor party last night but luckily no hangover. Either way, I’m sure this was the latest she could hold the kids back from waking me up.
The cake though, that was a mystery. It wasn’t my birthday- was it? No, it’s November.
“Mama he’s awake!” Cillian announces before climbing onto the bed beside me.
“Cill!” Isla winces. “Careful- “
“Dadada!” Willow squeals, clapping her hands together in her big brother’s arms. He places her on the mattress between us and she crawls over to me immediately, climbing on my chest.
Leo drops to the balls of his feet and sighs in relief, climbing on at the end of the bed but doing so in a much more graceful manner.
“Hi, darlin’.” I chuckle, rolling onto my back and opening my arms for Willow to crawl to me. I reach out and ruffle Cillian’s hair. “Hey mate. Good job carrying your sister.”
“She’s getting heavy now.” He pants dramatically. “She’s getting so fat.”
Leo frowns. “Not fat. Baby’s chunky- baby’s get chunky from milk.”
I nudge Leo with my foot. “That’s true, they do. Chunky is a good thing. We don’t call a woman fat, Cill.”
Cillian smirks. “She’s not a woman, Dandy.”
I roll my eyes. “She’s a little woman. She’s a princess- aren’t you LoLo?” I coo as she beams up at me. At eleven months she was in fact, chunky. But it was so, so sweet and both Isla and I couldn’t get enough of it.
Isla.
I look up and she’s smiling softly at me, cake in her hands, little black night dress hugging her in all my favourite places. A W tattooed into the corner of her bicep, a letter we brought into the world together, and one of my biggest achievements in life. The second biggest being this little family we had stitched together.
“Morning.” I murmur.
“Morning,” she whispers, bringing a knee onto the bed.
“What’s this?” I ask softly, somehow managing to sit up beneath Willow and the boys on either side of me.
“Leo honey, can you shuffle over- Cill, be careful- “
“Tell him mama!” Cillian beams excitedly, bouncing beside me. Leo sits up straight, a wide yet sleepy grin stretched across his face.
I raise a brow as Isla makes her way onto the bed, kneeling by my thighs and lowering the cake to finally put my questions to bed.
“Congratulations, baby.”
I look down at the swirly red cursive on what looks like a decadent chocolate cake.
“Dandy #1 Billboard x6”
There’s a little press photo of me stuck to a toothpick above the writing, and it takes me a minute to understand before my eyes widen.
“Wait, what?”
“Dandy! Mama, can I tell him?!”
Isla chuckles and nods. “Go ahead Cill.”
Cillian clears his throat.
“Dandy! Your new song- the one we like- is number one on a billboard and it’s number six to do it cons-consec…”
“Consecutively.” Leo mumbles quietly.
“Yeah- in a row- and it’s really special because no one's ever done it before!” Cillian finishes excitedly.
Willow giggles and reaches for a fistful of my hair, her other fist beating against my chest. I rub her back and look at Isla, still confused but slowly piecing it together.
“Rubber Band Man is number one on one of the Billboard charts,” she tells me softly with a smile, “it’s your sixth consecutive single to hit number one, which is a record you hold with U2.” She explains proudly. “Well done, baby.”
I accept her kiss as the news sets in. “Oh. Shit. Wow.”
“That’s what I said!” Cillian beams.
“Consecutively.” Leo hums. “Well done Dandy.”
“Ah, thanks guys,” I chuckle, giving them both hugs. “This is so sweet.”
“We’re very proud- aren’t we very proud, boys?” Isla laughs, rubbing Leo’s back. “We made Dandy a cake to show him just how incredible we think he is.”
“It’s chocolate and we’re having it for breakfast!” Cillian explains.
“Dadada.” Willow gurgles, tugging on my hair for attention. I barely have a second to process the information between cuddles from the kids, Isla’s adoring eyes and the swell of my heart amongst it all. Sure, it was amazing. And sure, I couldn’t discredit the effort and the heart put into the work. It was incredibly rewarding to see something I was so proud of be received so warmly by the fans and community.
But nothing compared to this.
No amount of commercial or financial success could ever top the feeling of little hands, messy hair, tired smiles too early in the morning and the other half of my heart keeping it all together at home so that I can have the privilege of experiencing what this feels like.
“Thanks everyone. I feel very special,” I pout, kissing Willow on the top of her head as she clings to me. “Thank you.” I look at Isla thoughtfully.
She blushes. “We’re so proud of you, babe.”
“You’re number one, Dandy!” Cillian announces. “On a billboard!”
“On Billboard.” Isla chuckles.
“I don’t know what that means- “
“It’s a music chart- “
“It’s okay, it’s not important,” I laugh, assuring Isla not to worry. “It’s music business stuff. It just means a lot of people like the music.”
“Dandy’s number one.” Leo giggles teasingly.
“He is, and he’s our favourite number one.” Isla smirks, lifting the cake to me. “Now blow out your imaginary candle.”
I take a deep breath and pretend to blow out the candle missing from the cake. She doesn’t need to explain; two young boys and a baby can’t be trusted around a flame in bed, that much goes without saying.
“Alright! Cillian, are you going to take this very carefully to the kitchen? And wait for us?” Isla asks, eying him off.
Cillian jumps up and nods, holding his hands out.
“Come on Leelo!”
Leo scrambles to follow his big brother, but not without giving me one more hug before he disappears out the door behind him. Sweet kid.
I look at Isla.
“You really trust Cill with that cake?”
She grins and climbs up to take his spot beside me, draping her legs over my thighs and placing a hand over mine on Willow’s back.
“No. But I figured I’d give it five minutes before rushing to the rescue. Good morning. Congratulations. I love you.” She murmurs softly.
I can’t help but mirror her smile, my cheeks burning.
“Good morning. I love you.” I say as I kiss her.
Willow gurgles in front of us, demanding our attention and breaking us apart.
“And you. Oh man, I love you!”
She giggles as I lift her up and press kisses to her belly, exposed between her little set of matching pajamas.
“I can’t believe Cill called her fat. She’s my perfect little chunky bean.” Isla laughs, pouting as she toys with Willow’s dangling foot. “Huh? My little perfect girl.”
“She’ll get her revenge when she hits two. I can feel it. She’s gearing up to take those boys down.” I smirk.
“Hm, maybe not Leo. He’s my precious little flower.” Isla pouts. “Cill can handle her.”
“Good to know you’re still as soft as the day I met you.” I laugh, placing Willow down in my lap. Instantly, she crawls to her mother who scoops her up and pulls her into her chest for a cuddle. I take that as my cue to wrap my arms around them both, exhaling into the peace and quiet for a moment.
“Thanks for this morning. That was really sweet.”
“I forgot which chart it was- you know I’m kind of clueless about the details- “
“It’s not important,” I chuckle, kissing her temple. “You did more than enough.”
“I am really proud of you, Andy. Watching you succeed at something you work so hard for is such a gift.” Isla tells me gently. “Kinda like watching you be a father to Willow.”
“Ah, darlin’,” I chuckle, leaning in to kiss her again. “You’re gonna make me cry.”
Willow giggles, sliding her hand up to our mouths, pushing us apart. “Da…”
“You’re gonna make me cry! Because you look just like your mam, LoLo.” I coo, pulling them in closer. “I can’t believe she’s almost one.”
“Means we’ve been engaged for over a year now.” Isla murmurs, biting her lip as her eyes follow every movement of our daughter.
My eyes flicker to her.
“I know we’ve been meaning to narrow down a date.”
She nods quickly with a reassuring smile.
“I know. It’s okay. No rush.”
“Because I know me jumping on that song pushed back our plans a little.” I admit with a slight wince.
When Marcus had approached me to jump on a song for Mumford & Sons next album, it had been right when Isla and I were about to start planning the wedding. We’d gotten engaged when Isla was five months pregnant with Willow and although we didn’t have plans to marry before her birth or immediately after, I’m sure we’d both pictured having done it by now. And we were about to start planning.
And then Marcus called.
And I couldn’t say no. We’d been trying to get into the studio for ten years, having never been able to find the time in the past. When I brought it up with Isla she pushed me to go through with it. She was a big fan of them and she could see how eager I was to do it. She supported me going to the states for two weeks to record, and had her mum stay in the house with her and Willow while Mac took the boys. I suppose that’s been handy, having him only thirty minutes away.
While she had the support here, I know it was tough. We’d made it work, but it wouldn’t have happened without her grace and her sacrifice. Isla was about to return to work once a week, slowly building her way up to three days while I wasn’t actively travelling. We finally had a rhythm going and then she so graciously made it work for me to go and do the thing I loved most. And now here she was at seven in the morning on a Sunday, making me a cake with the boys because that song got to number one.
So it was really fucking important that I show up for her and make this wedding happen. Also, I couldn’t wait to marry her.
Isla smiles softly. “That’s life, baby. It gets in the way. Besides, we also have three kids. It’s crazy out here.”
“I know,” I nod. “But I don’t want to lose track of us. Amongst all of this.”
Isla slips her hand into mine and squeezes tightly.
“I couldn’t lose you if I tried. I have you, Andy, and you have me. I know that. You need to make music, and I need to teach literature. It’s what makes us, us. And I think we need that so we’re marrying the best versions of ourselves.”
“Mmmm…da!”
“And,” Isla chuckles, rubbing the back of her finger over Willow’s chubby cheek. “We made this tiny little angel. How could I ever lose track of what we are when it’s right in front of us?”
“I can’t wait to marry you, Isla.” I murmur, the emotion pushing the words out of my mouth before I have a chance to make them sound more eloquent.
She presses her lips to my jaw. “I can’t wait to marry you too, Andy- “
“Mama! Which knife do I use to cut the cake!”
Isla’s head snaps up as Cillian’s voice rings through the house.
“Fuck. I forgot about the other children.” Isla mutters, sitting up. “Don’t touch the knives, Cillian!”
I let out a laugh as Willow started squirming in my hands, the sound of her brother’s voice alerting her that fun was being had without her.
“I think we better get downstairs,” Isla mumbles, climbing out of bed. “You take- “
I reach for her hand, holding her in place for a moment.
“Isla.”
She looks up at me, a single piece of hair falling into her eyes. The way she looked at me tore a hole right through me. God, she was stunning. I feel like I did the day I met her, seeing her across that crowded living room at Quincy’s. It never got old.
“Mm?”
“Thank you.”
“For the cake? It’s nothing- “
“No, for showing up for me. For caring for me. For championing my wins and making sure I prioritise the things outside of all of this to make me the best version of myself.” I tell her, mirroring her words back to her. I’d make sure I do the same in return.
She offers a small smile, her gaze dropping to our daughter before coming back to me. “Always, honey.”
“Mama!”
Isla pulls a face at me. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
With that, she’s out of the room and racing down to intervene the boys and any potential knife play. I chuckle and settle back against the headboard, looking at my little girl as she gazes curiously up at me.
“That’s your mama, hey? Keeping it all running for us so we can have this sweet life, huh? She’s amazing like that, Willow. You’re so lucky she’s your mam.” I sigh contently.
Willow hums and rests her head on my chest, her little arms wrapping around me as far as they’ll go. Even though she could barely form a word, I think she knew what I was saying. Or at the very least I think she too could feel Isla’s sweetness. She didn’t need to hear it from me, she experienced it first hand. I think she really knew how lucky we were to have all of this; to have a woman in her lives that made us feel like the most important thing in the world.
I decided it then and there, the most important thing to me was to make sure Isla felt it in return.