Work Text:
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Lily
Lily: it was a bad time to talk to me
Lily: you should have stayed away from me
SH: Sorry?
SH: Who is this?
Lily: seriously?
Lily: ok i see how it is
Lily: i am an asshole to you and suddenly you do not remember who i am
Lily: you have it your way then, hollander
SH: ???
SH: No, I'm sorry you're upset, but really...
SH: Who is this?
Lily: what name do you see at the top?
SH: Lily
Lily: ah
Lily: so why are you confused?
Lily: is this your attempt at revenge??
Lily: i tell you not to talk to me while we are in russia
Lily: you do anyway
Lily: do not listen to me when i tell you to fuck off
Lily: and suddenly you are surprised i am an asshole?
SH: Russia???
SH: Why would I be in Russia right now??
Lily: winter olympics???
Lily: did you hit your head on your way back???
SH: What?
SH: Last time I went to Russia was 20 years ago
Lily: what??
Lily: it is 2014??
Lily: what do you mean 20 years ago??
Lily: are you shitting me right now??
SH: Oh.
SH: What?
SH: No.
SH: Wait.
SH: This is impossible.
Lily: what is??
SH: This isn't supposed to be possible.
SH: What the fuck??
Lily: ?????
Lily: hollander what is going on??
SH: Stop texting me.
Lily: explain what is going on
Lily: i am starting to get worried
Lily: hollander answer me
Lily: i will call scott hunter right now if you do not tell me what is going on with you
Lily: i saw you were watching figure skating with him
SH: NO!
SH: Don't call him
SH: And stop texting me.
Lily: no
SH: You wanted me to leave you alone, but now you're the clingy one??
SH: Take your own advice
SH: And fuck off.
SH: Don't text me anymore.
Lily: ok fine
Lily: fuck you hollander
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Lily
Lily: was this a stupid prank or what?
SH: I told you to stop texting me
SH: You're not even supposed to be able to text me
Lily: yes, but what does that even mean?
Lily: i am very confused
SH: I won't explain it to you
SH: Stop texting me
SH: Block this number while you're at it
Lily: but why?
SH: Just do what you're told for once in your life, my God.
SH: Wait no-
SH: I didn't mean that.
SH: Sorry.
Lily: if you want me to stop texting you, you have to stop texting me too
Lily: would make this easier, no?
Lily: make up your damn mind, not-hollander
SH: How are you suddenly sure that I'm not Hollander?
Lily: again with the questions to continue the conversation...
Lily: is because i can see him
Lily: he is also at the award show
SH: What Award Show?
Lily: mlh awards
Lily: we are presenting an award together in less than 10 minutes
Lily: if you were hollander, you would know that
Lily: and also, even though i am texting you, hollander does not have his phone in his hand
Lily: so you are not hollander
SH: Wait. Back up for a minute.
SH: It's been over 4 months since you've last texted me??
SH: It's not even been a day for me
Lily: ???
Lily: are you escapee from a mental hospital or something?
Lily: what are you talking about not-hollander??
SH: I don't fucking know what's going on, okay??
SH: Because I was just minding my business after a long day at work and wanted to unwind with my spouse, when I suddenly get a message from a number that was deactivated over a decade ago
SH: I don't understand what's happening
SH: Or how you're texting me
SH: It annoys me that I don't understand
SH: It's like texting through time or something like that
SH: Because I'm fucking 43 years old and somehow talking to a 23 year old Ilya Rozanov...
SH: It really shouldn't be possible
Lily: interesting
Lily: very, very interesting
Lily: but honestly, texting through time?
Lily: sounds plausible
SH: In what fucking world does that sound plausible???
Lily: in mine
SH: So, you're insane. Good to know.
Lily: for the record
Lily: you are the one who suggested that this could be a time travel texting situation, whatever that means really
Lily: not me
Lily: so you are just as insane as me
Lily: if not more
Lily: but is ok
SH: The fact that you're just accepting that as a possibility is highly concerning
SH: Do you not want any sort of proof?
SH: Something that only I can know?
SH: A picture?
SH: Anything?
Lily: i will not say no to a picture
Lily: i am sure you are aging like fine wine
Lily: i would like to see a picture of you 👀
SH: I didn't mean a picture of me, Rozanov. Don't get too excited.
SH: I actually think I have the perfect thing to show you
SH: Give me one second
SH: *shared a photo*
[The photo shows a selfie taken by 23 year old Ilya of him and Shane in tuxedos on what seems to be a stage. It's glued into a photo album, the date says "June 24th, 2014" with a little note under it: "first selfie we took together".]
SH: You'll take this selfie while we're presenting the award together.
Lily: interesting
Lily: i look very good in that picture
Lily: you look a little awkward though
SH: ...
SH: Shut up.
SH: I shouldn't have shown you that.
Lily: no, no i love it
Lily: is very cute
Lily: but now i wonder
Lily: did my self from your timeline take the picture because he wanted to, or because he had a future hollander tell him about the fact that he took the picture that night?
SH: I-
SH: Hmm... Good question actually.
SH: This seems to be a chicken and egg situation, I guess
Lily: what does chicken and egg have to do with time travel?
SH: Nothing.
SH: I meant, that you're kind of always wondering what came first. The chicken or the egg.
SH: It's similar here
SH: We don't know what came first. You taking the picture or me telling you that your counterpart from my time took the picture, because of this weird texting through time thing
Lily: ah, i understand
Lily: i think
Lily: i do not like this analogy
Lily: makes my head hurt
SH: Yeah, I'm pretty confused about this whole thing too
Lily: well either way, i will take the picture
Lily: have to keep the timeline in tact
Lily: no matter how confusing it is
Lily: have to go
Lily: will talk to you another time, future-hollander 😉
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Lily
Lily: hello future-hollander
SH: Hello Rozanov.
SH: I'm still not completely on board with you texting me, but I guess I'll have to accept that.
SH: You usually ignore me when I tell you what to do.
SH: So, Anyway...
SH: What day / year is it for you?
Lily: still the same day
Lily: just later
Lily: i took the picture like you told me to
Lily: *shared a photo*
[The photo shows an almost identical selfie to the one glued into future Shane's photo album.]
Lily: turned out pretty good, no?
SH: Looks great.
SH: But, I didn't exactly tell you to do that. I only told you that you took that picture before to prove who I am
Lily: same thing
Lily: tomato tomahto, yes?
SH: Sure, whatever
SH: Why are you texting me? Shouldn't you be busy?
Lily: i was
Lily: but hollander left
Lily: and i think i fucked up
SH: What makes you say that?
Lily: should you not know?
SH: I do, but maybe it could be helpful for you to talk about it.
SH: I don't know.
Lily: talking me through it, huh?
Lily: that is usually my job
SH: Ha. Ha. Very funny.
Lily: always am
Lily: but if i wanted to talk about it, i would not have told hollander to fuck off
Lily: he asked so many questions
SH: Valid questions, if I remember correctly.
SH: He was just worried about your safety.
Lily: i do not need anyone to worry about me
SH: Maybe you do.
Lily: no, i really do not
SH: If you say so. But bottling everything up is not healthy...
SH: Rozanov?
SH: Fine, have it your way. I'll stop pressing.
SH: I vividly remember almost sending you a text after I left, though.
Lily: suddenly you want to share so many secrets with me
Lily: after telling me to fuck off many, many times
SH: I can be rebellious too sometimes
Lily: i bet
Lily: what did you want to text?
Lily: "thank you for great sex but you are an asshole" ?
SH: No. It went into a very different direction, actually.
Lily: ?
SH: "We didn't even kiss."
Lily: oh
SH: He really cares about you, even if he isn't ready to fully admit that just yet.
SH: He really didn't intend any harm by asking these questions
SH: They were overbearing in that situation, not denying that, but he had no bad intentions
SH: And I should know that
SH: I am him
SH: Or well, I was him once
SH: You know what I mean...
Lily: i am sorry
SH: I know you are. It was an uncomfortable situation for both of you
Lily: should i text him that i am sorry?
SH: No, leave it alone for tonight
SH: There'll be more meetings in the future where you can talk it out
SH: With how emotional you both are right now, any attempt at a conversation or an apology would probably not go well
Lily: ok
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Lily
Lily: hello future-hollander
Lily: it has been a while
SH: How long has it been for you?
SH: Last time you've texted me is like 2 days ago.
Lily: is october 2016 now
Lily: have not texted you in over a year
Lily: but i wanted to give you an update anyway, if that is ok with you
SH: Sure.
SH: Did you talk about the post-awards situation?
Lily: no
Lily: it never came up again
Lily: and i also did not want to bring it up
Lily: things were comfortable and i did not want to ruin it by bringing up uncomfortable stuff
SH: Makes sense
SH: My best friend keeps telling me that we were quite "emotionally constipated" back in the day...
Lily: hayden pike said that?
SH: No, not him
SH: I have other friends, believe it or not
SH: And Hayden is even worse at expressing emotions than we are
SH: Most of the time at least
Lily: you should stop being friends with him
SH: Because he is an idiot sometimes?
Lily: and because he is bad at hockey
Lily: do not know how you, THE shane hollander, can tolerate a bad hockey player as your best friend
Lily: is an atrocity
SH: Big word. I'm impressed.
SH: But I mean, my younger self is also currently romantically involved with a worse hockey player than me, so cutting off Hayden for that reason would be hypocritical, no?
Lily: you are romantically involved with a bad hockey player?
Lily: do you mean, you are fucking scott hunter?????
Lily: i have lost so much respect for you, future-hollander
SH: Scott Hunter wishes he could've pulled me
SH: But sadly for him, I'm not interested in men that were born before the stone age
Lily: HAHAHAHA
Lily: very funny future-hollander
Lily: hilarious even
SH: Don't sound so surprised.
SH: But no, I don't mean Scott Hunter...
SH: I actually meant you
Lily: what?
Lily: no, i am better hockey player than you
Lily: you always forget
Lily: silly hollander
SH: Sure. Keep telling yourself that
SH: Did you actually want to talk to me about something or do you just want to be an ass right now?
Lily: smooth topic change
SH: Shut up or I'll leave
Lily: noooo! stay
Lily: i wanted to ask you for advice actually
Lily: i cannot ask hollander, or anyone he is friends with, for obvious reasons. so i have to ask you
SH: Makes sense
SH: Okay, what is it?
Lily: what is a food that you would eat that i would also eat?
Lily: your bird food diet is very annoying
SH: It's not "annoying", it's strategic to enhance performance
Lily: same meaning with more words
SH: Are you planning to cook for my younger self or why do you ask?
Lily: yes, i have invited him to come to my house
Lily: you should know that, yes?
SH: Oh.
SH: Yeah.
SH: I remember.
Lily: want to be a good host
Lily: already bought his favorite ginger ale
Lily: but i am making a grocery list right now and i do not know what he and i could eat together
Lily: so i ask you for help
SH: Maybe a Tuna Melt?
Lily: what is that?
SH: A sandwich I like, I'll send you a recipe. One second.
SH: *shared a photo*
[The photo shows a page of a handwritten recipe book. Ingredients and preparation instructions for a Tuna Melt sandwich listed.]
SH: This specific recipe fits my dietary restrictions and tastes pretty good.
SH: Your older self also really likes it, so it could be a good option
Lily: is my handwriting
SH: What?
Lily: the recipe, that is my handwriting
SH: Could be because you wrote it down?
Lily: and you have it still?
SH: Yeah? Why shouldn't I still have it?
Lily: nevermind
Lily: so you are saying your younger self will like it?
SH: Definitely
SH: What other plans do you have?
Lily: that is a secret future-hollander
Lily: only wanted advice for food
Lily: but i think it will be good
Lily: want to show him that i care
Lily: in my own way of course
SH: Of course.
Lily: still have lots to prepare
Lily: wish me luck for today 🍀
SH: You won't need it.
Lily: ominous
Lily: but ok?
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Lily
Lily: you should have warned me
Lily: told me that i am doing too much
Lily: that i will scare him away
Lily: future-hollander???
Lily: is that why you did not wish me good luck???
Lily: why did you not warn me to not do all of this?
Lily: you should have stopped me.
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Lily
Lily: why are you not replying to me anymore?
Lily: scared to take accountability??
Lily: hello???
Lily: it has been 2 months and i still do not get a text back from you???
Lily: fuck you hollander.
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Lily
Lily: i saw that hollander is dating a famous movie star now
Lily: rose landry is her name
Lily: she is very pretty
Lily: talented too. sveta showed me a movie she was in. the movie was horrible but her performance was very good
Lily: sveta likes her too. she says that hollander and rose landry are a very good match
Lily: i do not see it
Lily: but he looks happy, i think
Lily: gets to be with someone without hiding
Lily: she was at his game, showing off his jersey
Lily: something that i could never, ever do
Lily: not just because i am a man but also because i am supposed to hate him
Lily: because i am his rival
Lily: but i do not hate him
Lily: i never did
Lily: and never will
Lily: it would help me to hate him right now
Lily: i put my foot in my mouth when he was here
Lily: i am a fucking idiot
Lily: said stupid shit
Lily: made him leave
Lily: like i make everyone leave
Lily: i made you leave too
Lily: is a similar situation here
Lily: i pushed you away too
Lily: why are you reading every message when you are not going to reply?
Lily: are you trying to teach me a lesson?
Lily: am i really not worth talking to anymore?
Lily: i wish i could go back in time.
Lily: i would stop myself from ever getting involved with hollander
Lily: this hurts too much
Lily: you would probably also be better off not knowing me
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Lily
Lily: are you married to rose landry?
Lily: it makes a lot of sense actually, now that i think about it
Lily: she is much easier to like than me
Lily: much easier too love
Lily: she is not an asshole to you
Lily: like i am
Lily: she is also not as pathetic as i am
Lily: constantly texting you, despite not getting a reply
Lily: i should stop texting you
Lily: but i do not want to
Lily: no matter how much it hurts me to not get any replies from you anymore
Lily: being left on read
Lily: i am sorry
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Lily
Lily: i saw him at a club in montreal
Lily: he never goes out clubbing
Lily: i thought i would be safe from seeing him here
Lily: but no
Lily: he was there
Lily: on the dance floor with his pretty soon-to-be wife
Lily: drinking a beer too
Lily: he never drinks during the season
Lily: but i guess rose has made him less uptight
Lily: good for him, i guess
Lily: i came here with my team to forget him
Lily: forget you
Lily: get drunk
Lily: pick up someone pretty
Lily: and get on with my life
Lily: hoping that i would at least get an invite to your wedding maybe
Lily: but probably not, right?
Lily: we are not even friends
Lily: never been
Lily: never will be
Lily: we are not anything
Lily: just rivals that are supposed to hate each other
Lily: but i do not hate you
Lily: i do not want to hate you
Lily: i am sorry for making you watch while i kiss a random girl
Lily: i wanted to see your reaction
Lily: i hoped that maybe you will come over and tell her to fuck off
Lily: but you just stared at me and then left
Lily: you looked very upset
Lily: i cannot stop fucking up, can i?
Lily: i am sorry for ruining your night
Lily: you had fun, i think
Lily: until you saw me
Lily: i am so fucking sorry
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Lily
SH: Hello Rozanov.
SH: I don't know when exactly you will receive these messages, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm very sorry for not replying to any of your texts.
SH: I read them with the intention of replying, but something always stopped me. Like a mental block. I don't know how to explain it, really. And I also don't know if I could give you an explanation good enough to make up for all the hurt you've had to experience over the past few months.
SH: This is the first time that I'm hearing about how you've felt during this time. It has always been an unspoken topic between you and me, even now. I feel absolutely horrible about all of this, trust me.
SH: Though, asking you to trust me on this after basically ghosting you for however long it has been for you seems like a lot...
SH: I would totally understand, if you don't want to speak to me ever again. I've abandoned you during your time of hurting and that was a really shitty thing of me to do. But, I also honestly don't know if me answering would've made anything better.
SH: You would've asked questions that I can't answer. Shouldn't answer, more like.
SH: You would've gotten even more frustrated and angry and I didn't want to risk that.
SH: It was selfish of me to assume that, because looking back, you really just needed someone to talk to. I'm very, very sorry Ilya.
SH: I will answer some questions for you though.
SH: No, I'm not married to Rose. She is the best friend I've mentioned a while back. Our relationship is strictly platonic.
SH: I should've answered that right away, but better late than never, right?
SH: Sorry. I really shouldn't joke around right now.
SH: I should probably also explain why my younger self acted the way he did. Why he ran off and then started dating Rose Landry.
SH: You'll probably not hear this from my younger self any time soon, so I'll be the one to fill in the gaps for you.
SH: I had fun that day when I was at your house, but it also stressed me out a lot. We had a routine that worked, but you decided to change that.
SH: Which in and of itself isn't a bad thing. It was just too much change, too suddenly for my younger self. He panicked and bolted.
SH: I should've warned you, but I didn't. And I'm very sorry about that. Especially because I had very selfish reasons for not telling you.
SH: When you called me "Shane" instead of "Hollander" and I called you "Ilya" instead "Rozanov", I came to the realization that this fling between us was becoming much more serious. And that thought terrified me in that moment.
SH: It terrified me because I wasn't ready to admit it. That I was interested in men.
SH: Before that day at your house, I was certain that we were strictly casual, us calling each other by our last names exclusively and the little time we would usually spend together, being strong indicators for that. But things changed. Too quickly, too suddenly.
SH: I started dating Rose to prove to myself that I can be "normal", that my feelings for you were temporary or at least didn't mean anything. That I could still do what everyone expected of me. Be successful in my career, find a pretty girl, get married to her and have kids. Continue the legacy of the Hollander name, whatever the fuck means. That always sounded so fucking stupid to me.
SH: That night at the club was also one of the worst nights of my life. Not that hearing that makes anything better for you. Sorry.
SH: My younger self will soon realize that he has no interest in ever being with a woman again. Or any other person that isn't you, really.
SH: I know you're hurt, but please at least try to hear him out when he approaches you again.
SH: I'm Sorry for only giving you this explanation now. But I swear to you that things between you and my younger self will improve soon.
SH: If you still want that to happen, of course.
SH: I hope I didn't forget to address anything.
SH: It would be great to hear from you again, Ilya.
Lily: when will i see young hollander again?
SH: At the All-Stars game in Tampa Bay
SH: January, 2017
Lily: ok
Lily: i will hear him out
SH: Thank you
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Lily: a stylist
Lily: really?
SH: Make fun of me all you want, I think I looked great.
Lily: of course
Lily: very pretty
SH: Pretty for you
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Lily
Lily: what does comepattible mean?
SH: Do you mean compatible?
Lily: if that is how you spell it, yes
Lily: what does that mean?
Lily: your younger self said that you and rose landry are not compatible
SH: That we don't work as a couple.
SH: Like, how a square peg can't fit into a round hole
SH: We're not meant to fit
Lily: that analogy sounds quite sexual
SH: For the record, I'm quoting Rose here.
Lily: of course you are
Lily: whatever makes you feel less embarrassed
Lily: but you are saying that i am square hole to your square peg?
SH: I guess that I would be the hole rather than the peg in that equation, but yes
Lily: hmmm
SH: What? No snarky comment?
Lily: no
Lily: it makes me think though
SH: About what?
Lily: about what i should do now
Lily: normally i would know what i have to do in a situation like this
Lily: but now i do not know
Lily: what are you doing to me future-hollander?
SH: Shane
Lily: what?
SH: It's my name, you can use it
Lily: last time i did you ran away and went to date a pretty movie star
SH: Just trust me, okay?
SH: Later today, my younger self will be sitting on the beach, watching the sunset. It's important that you'll go to find him.
SH: Strike up a conversation with him and when he asks for your room number, you give it to him.
SH: Then, you two will have a very important, long overdue conversation.
Lily: does it not feel weird being your own wingman?
SH: Focus, Rozanov.
Lily: ilya
SH: Okay
SH: Focus, Ilya.
Lily: everything will be ok?
SH: More than Okay.
Lily: you promise?
SH: I swear on my spouse's life.
Lily: ok
Lily: thank you
SH: Also, try calling him Shane again. Trust me.
SH: It will be good this time.
Lily: ok
Lily: will try that
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Lily
Lily: coming out to your top of 7 years is crazy work, future-shane
SH: Telling you was the first step in my journey of accepting myself. I also felt a little stupid telling you, but it was necessary
Lily: thank you for trusting me with that secret
SH: Did you tell my younger self that too?
Lily: no, because it sounds dumb
Lily: but maybe i will at some point in the future
SH: You should.
SH: Did you call him Shane again?
Lily: i did
Lily: and he did not panic this time, like you said
Lily: he smiled with this pretty smile of his
Lily: content
Lily: no fear
Lily: it made me very happy
SH: ❤️
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Lily
Lily: i am on my way to russia again
SH: I figured that you would have to say that soon...
SH: I'm very sorry for your loss, Ilya.
Lily: eh, is ok, i think
Lily: my father was not a good man
SH: What are you feeling right now?
Lily: not much
Lily: i feel numb mostly
Lily: i think i should care more, but i do not
Lily: can also not bring myself to care more
Lily: i am a horrible son
SH: No, you're not.
SH: I don't know all too much about your father, or generally your family, aside from your mom, but from what you've told me, I know that how you're feeling right now is a completely normal response.
SH: Please don't beat yourself up about not feeling how others expect you to feel.
SH: You're reacting to your father's death however you think is appropriate.
Lily: sveta said basically the same thing
Lily: am surrounded by very smart people
SH: The smartest!
SH: Who all care about you.
Lily: thank you, future-shane. i appreciate it
SH: I'm always here for you.
SH: And my younger self is, too.
Lily: i saw he called me
Lily: i did not pick up
Lily: should i call him back?
SH: I think you should. If you want to, of course.
SH: He'll be there for you too, if you need him to be.
Lily: ok
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Lily
Lily: do you still wear glasses for reading?
SH: Even better, I wear them all the time now
Lily: am jealous of your spouse for being able to see you in glasses every day
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Lily
Lily: i left my father's funeral early
Lily: i do not know why i did it
Lily: i mean of course, i got into a fight with my asshole brother
Lily: but that is no reason to leave
SH: I think it is a perfectly valid reason
SH: You needed to get out of there and I don't blame you for it one bit
Lily: i really want to talk to you
Lily: your younger you, i mean
SH: Call him
Lily: really?
SH: He'll be happy to hear from you
Lily: ok
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Lily
Lily: did you understand anything from what i have said?
SH: You mean when you spoke Russian to me?
Lily: yes
SH: No, I didn't understand anything, because you didn't want me to.
SH: I also didn't use a translator.
Lily: good
Lily: thank you for listening back then
Lily: even if you did not understand anything
Lily: it really helped to just let everything pour out
SH: I'm glad to hear it. ❤️
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Lily
Lily: first game back and you get hurt
Lily: am i a bad luck charm or something?
SH: I wouldn't say that. Maybe Marleau has something against me?
Lily: i am not in the mood for jokes right now
SH: Of course, sorry.
SH: He's okay though
SH: Shane, I mean
SH: Generally speaking at least.
SH: No career ending injury or something like that.
SH: If hearing that helps...
Lily: it does
Lily: but was still scary
Lily: i do not like seeing you hurt
SH: Will you visit him in the hospital?
Lily: i want to, but i think i should not
SH: Why not?
Lily: because we are not anything to the public?
Lily: we hate each other
Lily: is what the people believe
SH: Fuck what the people think
SH: You're the captain of the teammate that caused his injury, it's good sportsmanship to visit the injured player.
SH: You can sell it as that if someone should ask
Lily: that will work?
SH: It did last time
Lily: ok
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Lily
Lily: you are very cute when you are high on painkillers
SH: You went to visit then? Good.
Lily: yes and your plan worked too
Lily: no one was suspicious of me being there
SH: See? You should believe me more often.
SH: Did Shane ask you something maybe?
Lily: as if you do not already know
SH: Well...
Lily: he invited me to his cottage
Lily: but i will probably not go
SH: Try that again.
Lily: what?
SH: You remember who you're speaking to, right?
Lily: i went?
Lily: why?
SH: Because you wanted to, I'd say?
Lily: but right now i do not want to
SH: Why not?
SH: Ilya?
SH: Just think about it, okay?
⋆˙⟡
Lily
Lily: i cannot believe that i decided to go to the cottage because of scott hunter??? 🤢🤢
SH: You can't deny his influence
SH: What he did was very brave
Lily: almost scary brave
SH: So you've changed your mind?
Lily: you should know that already, no?
Lily: but yes, i just got off the phone with your younger self
Lily: i am going to the cottage
SH: Good :)
⋆˙⟡
Lily
Lily: i just met up with shane
Lily: he picked me up from the airport in his very boring car
Lily: going to the cottage 🎉
SH: Great!
SH: But before you arrive at the cottage, there is something very important that I need to talk to you about
Lily: sounds serious
SH: Because it is
SH: I told myself that I wouldn't keep doing this.
SH: Going against the rules of this Time Warp texting thing or whatever the hell this is
SH: But it's very important for me that you know something
Lily: you are breaking rules for me?
Lily: so romantic 😍
SH: Stay focused, Rozanov.
Lily: yes sorry
Lily: what is it?
SH: While you guys are at the cottage, you have to make sure that Shane has his phone on him 24/7.
SH: He needs to be able to read texts or get calls at all times.
SH: No exceptions.
Lily: why?
SH: Don't ask so many questions
SH: Just do it
Lily: you literally told me before to question things more when we first talked to each other
Lily: so, why?
Lily: will something bad happen while i am there?
SH: Nothing necessarily bad, I guess
SH: But you two deserve better this time
Lily: i am very confused
Lily: i will make sure he is attached to his phone, of course
Lily: but i would like more context
SH: Okay fine. But just this once...
SH: In my timeline, I left my phone inside while we were in the lake. I didn't want to risk breaking it and also just wanted to be away from everything and everyone for a while.
SH: So I can fully focus on you for once
Lily: awww 🥰
SH: I'm not done.
SH: But because I didn't see any texts or calls that I've gotten over the day, I didn't see that my Dad asked for something that he really needed
SH: So, my Dad came by the cottage to get it himself
Lily: and he will catch us
SH: Yes
SH: And trust me, it's difficult to explain why the man that is supposed to be your rival is...
SH: 1. at your cottage
SH: 2. half naked
SH: And 3. grabbing your ass while sticking his tongue down your throat...
Lily: oh
Lily: yes, i can imagine that was very awkward
SH: I wanted to die on the spot.
Lily: your parents were not ok?
SH: No, not because of that. They were great.
SH: Still are
SH: I wanted to sink into the floor, because it was embarrassing as hell
SH: And I also just had a very different plan for all that
SH: I wanted to sit them down and tell them about my sexuality, ease them into the idea of me having a boyfriend, and then introduce Ilya as said boyfriend.
SH: You know? Do it the right way...
SH: But that didn't happen
SH: The chance of coming out at our own terms was taken from us.
SH: We actually never were that lucky...
SH: But that's not important for now, though.
Lily: it will happen this time, i swear
Lily: but what do you mean, we were never that lucky?
Lily: it sounds very important
SH: Nevermind that.
SH: I already said too much.
SH: Just focus on this one thing for now, please.
Lily: hollander, tell me
Lily: i want to make things better
Lily: try to at least
Lily: please tell me
Lily: hollander?
Lily: shane, please...
Lily: i will make sure that things are different this time. i will do whatever it takes
Lily: we will come out on our own terms.
Lily: when we are ready and not a moment before
Lily: i swear
⋆˙⟡
Lily
Lily: i will not ask about what you meant again
Lily: i swear
Lily: will you reply to me again?
SH: Only if you promise that you really won't bring it up again.
Lily: you are technically already talking to me again
Lily: do i really still need to promise?
SH: ...
Lily: i am joking
Lily: of course i promise
SH: Okay, thank you.
SH: So, you're at the cottage now, right?
SH: How are things going?
Lily: very good so far
Lily: very relaxing
Lily: the cottage is very beautiful, you have outdone yourself, mr real estate!
Lily: but right now, your younger self is very angry with me, i think
SH: Why do you think that?
Lily: i make one joke about marrying sveta just to see his reaction and now he is staring at me like he wants to burn the cottage down
Lily: with us both in it
Lily: am just testing waters
Lily: so i can turn it into proposal maybe?
SH: THAT was your intention???
SH: What the actual FUCK, Ilya??
Lily: i found the intention quite obvious
SH: Obvious to you maybe.
SH: To me? Not so much.
SH: Because, you know what?
SH: I totally understand why my younger self got pissed off
SH: Because what kind of "proposal" is that??
SH: "Testing the waters" fuck right off actually.
SH: Normally it goes like this. 4 simple little, words
SH: Will
SH: You
SH: Marry
SH: Me
SH: And then a ? at the end to make it a question.
SH: There. That's how it should go.
SH: None of this "I cOuLd mArRy SvEtLaNa" bullshit
Lily: still a sore spot, huh?
SH: ...
SH: Shut up.
SH: There's a reason why I was the one who ended up proposing to you. Just saying.
Lily: what?
Lily: we are married?
SH: Ignore that.
SH: I didn't say anything.
Lily: shane are we married in your future???
Lily: am i the spouse that gets to see you with your pretty glasses every day????
SH: Maybe.
Lily: shane
SH: Fine.
SH: Yes, we are
SH: But I really shouldn't have told you.
Lily: why not?
Lily: timeline is not changing for you, is it?
SH: No, it's not.
Lily: why do you not wanna tell me more then?
Lily: how did you end up proposing?
Lily: when?
Lily: did you cry????
SH: I'm not answering any of that.
Lily: so you did 😌
SH: ...
SH: You did too
SH: More than me
Lily: you do not have to lie to make yourself feel better, is ok ❤️
SH: *shared a photo*
[The photo was taken right after Shane's proposal to Ilya, both crying. Ilya crying a lot harder, though.]
Lily: ok wow
Lily: did not expect to get photo evidence
Lily: fine, i accept defeat
Lily: probably cried more because i saw beautiful man with freckles go down on his knees for me 😍
SH: As if you don't see that enough already
Lily: hollander!!!! you should not joke that way with another man
Lily: you are married!!!
SH: You're so annoying
Lily: apparently not annoying enough
Lily: because you got married to me
Lily: YOU asked ME to get married 🥰
SH: Yeah, yeah. Have your fun with that
Lily: i am looking forward to marrying you already 🥰
SH: Wow, uhm
SH: That was surprisingly sweet.
SH: But don't get ahead of yourself, Rozanov
SH: You haven't even said "I love you" to your Shane yet
Lily: alright bet
SH: What?
Lily: i will tell him that i love him
SH: Wait no-
SH: Don't just tell him because I'm teasing you
SH: You have to actually mean it
SH: The first "I love you" is arguably the most important one
Lily: i know
Lily: is not because of that
Lily: and you should know that
Lily: you are married to me
Lily: i will say it because i want to
Lily: i mean, i technically already did
Lily: but he will understand it this time
SH: What do you mean?
SH: Oh wait
SH: You told me you love me in Russian???
SH: In the tunnel??
Lily: you did not know?
SH: No
SH: Wow
SH: That changes a lot, to be honest
Lily: give my older self good head tonight as a thank you for being brave like that 😍
SH: You're impossible
⋆˙⟡
Lily
Lily: you came up with a whole plan for our future in less than 5 hours
Lily: you are a crazy man, future-shane
SH: I'm efficient, what can I say
Lily: and the plan worked?
SH: What do you mean?
Lily: me moving to ottawa
Lily: starting a charity with you
Lily: changing the narrative
Lily: that worked?
Lily: like you planned it?
SH: Yes, and no.
SH: You moved to Ottawa and your team became a family to you
SH: The family that you so desperately needed, even if you don't want to admit that
SH: The money that we've raised with the charity helped a lot of people and the summer camps gave a lot of kids the chance to discover their love for hockey. We're making sure that the camps are as accessible as possible for everyone who wants to participate. Everyone is welcome, no matter their race, sexuality, financial status or whatever could get them "excluded" otherwise.
SH: It's a success because we're passionate about it. A lot of other professional players help us too.
SH: So yes, the plan will work.
Lily: i love that
Lily: it makes me very happy to hear that
Lily: but you did not answer the part about the narrative
Lily: is there something i should know?
Lily: do people still think that we hate each other?
SH: No, they know about our relationship
Lily: that is good, no?
Lily: was part of the plan that the world will eventually know about us, yes?
SH: It was, but the world learned about us against our will.
SH: Before we were ready.
Lily: oh
SH: Yeah.
Lily: what happened exactly?
Lily: i will make sure it will not happen again
Lily: cannot change anything for you and your ilya, but maybe i can for me and my shane
SH: Just make sure that you're not making out with my younger self in the background whenever Hayden films a fanmail
SH: Or at least make him triple check every video before he sends it
Lily: pike is responsible for the outing against our will?
SH: Unfortunately.
Lily: and you are still friends with him?
SH: He never intended for any of that to happen, he apologized and we forgave him.
SH: And I really mean WE.
SH: You actually forgave him before me.
Lily: hm ok
Lily: if you say so
Lily: but i still think that killing pike would be quicker and a more idiot proof plan
SH: If you do, you will miss out on his daughter being your biggest fan
SH: And him absolutely hating it
Lily: compelling argument, future-shane
Lily: i am reconsidering my plan
Lily: but in all seriousness, i will not let the outing happen again
Lily: we will have our happily ever after, at our own pace.
SH: Thank you.
SH: And I know that my younger self will also appreciate that.
Lily: our future will be everything that you could possibly dream of
SH: It already is, but I hope it'll be less turbulent for you this time around ❤️
Lily: ❤️