Archive of Our Own

Minho gently pulled the ring off of Jisung’s middle finger before sliding it right back onto the one next to it. He admired it for a moment, feeling very satisfied with the decision he had just made.

“I’ve always thought Tangerine would make a cute flower girl,” he said with a smile.

As Jisung tackled him into a hug, he couldn’t help but think that two years apart was nothing compared to a lifetime with Minho.

That was five months ago, and Minho still hadn’t proposed for real.

To most, that probably wouldn’t seem like that big of a deal. Proposals took time to plan; there was so much to consider, after all. He knew plenty of people who took months to pick out the ring, plan how they were going to do it, and get everything ready before they finally popped the question. He knew there was no rush, really. Jisung had not-so-subtly expressed that in the “totally hypothetical scenario” in which Minho were to propose, he didn’t care when or where it happened, as long as it was something they were both okay with. Minho replied with his own subtlety, because there was no way he was going to let Jisung know just how anxious the proposal was making him. Not anxious because he didn’t want to or because he was worried it might not end well, but because he quite literally could not wait any longer to do it.

Ever since he got the idea to propose, it was like it had tunneled its way into the deepest part of his brain and wouldn’t come out until he asked Jisung to marry him. It was all he thought about every morning when he woke up and saw Jisung’s face squished against the pillow, when he left for work and heard a song Jisung produced playing on the radio, when he walked home and passed Jisung’s favorite street vendor, when he stepped through the door and saw Jisung waiting with their cat bundled up in his arms; his brain was just an endless loop of you’re going to marry this man and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Not necessarily a bad thought, but one that induced a lot of stress, to say the least.

Even though neither of them had really brought it up after that night, Minho was pretty confident the idea had taken over both of their minds. 

Mostly because Jisung had already proposed. 

It was just a few weeks after Minho had initially brought up the idea.  A quick overnight trip to Jeju following a long week of Jisung’s tour rehearsals had led them down to the beach at sunset, nothing out of the ordinary for the two of them. What was rather atypical was the perfectly placed guitar and candlelit picnic nestled against an outcropping of rocks near the end of the beach. Minho knew what was coming as soon as he saw it, but he didn’t expect to be serenaded with a song Jisung wrote just for him. I wanna make you the happiest one, no fear, Jisung sang as he beamed in Minho’s direction. So baby, hold my hand now.

Minho didn’t cry, but he smiled until his cheeks felt like they were about to split open; maybe he took Jisung’s ‘cause all I want is you, not your tears to heart. They both laughed when Jisung got down on one knee and nearly dropped the ring in the sand and lost it forever amidst the grains, but it made its way safely onto Minho’s finger where it glistened like the waves of the sea under the setting sun. 

And so they were engaged. They had been for four months now. 

And maybe that would’ve been the end of it for most people, but the two of them had come to a sort of unspoken agreement that they both wanted to be on the receiving end of such a gesture. They just didn’t know when or where or how it would happen.

Minho probably should’ve known that Jisung would make quick work of the proposal. Once he got an idea in his head, he would walk to the ends of the earth until it came to fruition. That’s probably how it was possible for him to get a ring, pick a spot, and plan out the proposal in such a short amount of time. When it came down to it, he could move awfully fast.

Unfortunately, his swiftness was only stressing Minho out more. He knew it wasn’t a competition, but he couldn’t help but feel a sense of ineptitude when it came to planning his proposal. 

“You could literally slide the ring onto my finger while I’m asleep and I would love it,” Jisung had said one day after Minho confessed that he was still struggling with ideas. Minho knew he meant what he said, but it pained him to imagine his proposal being anything less than perfect. It had to be. 

After weeks of deliberation and far too many late-night calls to Changbin begging for ideas and reassurance, Minho felt like his plan had neared completion. The date had been set (the night of November 5th, right after the last concert on Jisung’s tour), the location had been secured (a private room at a michelin-star Kaiseki restaurant), the ring had been purchased (a silver band with a flush set rose quartz, custom-made by a jeweler he found on his last trip to Japan), and he was ninety-nine percent sure that everything that could possibly go wrong had been accounted for.

There was just one thing missing: what was he going to say?

For all of his planning, the one thing that had seemed to slip through the cracks was the proposal itself. He almost didn’t care if something else went awry; he figured something would, after all. Perhaps Jisung’s concert would run late and they would have to rush to the restaurant, or maybe the food wouldn’t be as good as he expected, or maybe the timing would be off by five minutes, but those things wouldn’t be remembered. And maybe Jisung wouldn’t even remember the words coming out of Minho’s mouth as he got down on one knee and presented the ring, too overcome with emotion and (hopefully) shock at the (semi) unexpected moment. But Minho couldn’t stop worrying about that very moment. The moment when he was supposed to profess his undying love, his deepest truths and most pure feelings in a beautiful heartfelt speech. 

But he didn’t know what to say. And it pained him because there was so much to say. 

Of course, Jisung had no issue showering Minho in verbal praise. Entire songs had been written about him. His proposal on the beach was delivered in the form of a starry-eyed acoustic ballad, after all. How could Minho possibly top that?

At first, he figured it might come naturally. Perhaps in the moment, everything would flow from his mouth like the water of a raging river, softening his jaded edges and bathing Jisung in the praise he so deserved. 

But that just… never happened. 

There had been so many moments throughout their relationship when the feelings in Minho’s heart had felt close to bursting, only for him to freeze up and resort to some combination of intense physical affection and longing stares to get his point across. How could he be sure that his proposal would be any different?

He tried to write it down. Putting his thoughts on paper would ensure that he knew exactly what to say when the moment came. But again, he was confronted with the realization that all the paper in the world couldn’t fit even the briefest of explanations as to why he loved Jisung the way he did. He wrote down a few words, scratched them out, tried again, and ended up frustrated with his inability to translate his own feelings. He couldn’t help but feel awkward every time he tried to sit down and write something out, like it was an assignment and not the words he was going to say when he proposed to the love of his life. Every time he tried, he found himself wondering how on earth Jisung did this for fun.

“Just speak from the heart!” was what Chan said when Minho had asked him for advice in a moment of weakness. Minho didn’t even have the heart to tell him he’d already tried, and it wasn’t that easy.

So five months after soft-launching marriage to his boyfriend, he found himself sitting alone in a hotel room in Tokyo a week before he was set to propose with absolutely no idea of what to say.

It just so happened that the end of Jisung’s tour coincided with some work that needed to be done on Minho’s new studio in Japan. And as far as Jisung knew, Minho would remain in Tokyo all the way through the 6th of November, meaning he would miss the last show in Seoul the night before. 

“It’s alright,” Jisung had said with a barely-there smile when Minho broke the news. “You saw the first show. I’m sure it wouldn’t be much different the second time around.”

But Minho knew that Jisung wanted him to be there more than anything, which is exactly why he lied.

Technically, he was supposed to be in Tokyo until the 6th. However, he also had some fantastic coworkers who were more than willing to let him leave a day early to make it to Jisung’s show. The plan was to fly out the afternoon of the 5th and head straight to Jisung’s show from the airport. Keeping it a secret would be a challenge, but his plan was kind of riding on it. 

He just hoped his heart would decide to open itself up by the end of the week.

☆☆☆

Good luck at the concert tonight! Rooting for you from Tokyo <3 

Minho sent the text, staring at it for a moment before shoving his phone in his pocket and leaning back in his seat.

It was 7:55, five minutes before Jisung’s last concert was supposed to start. A sold out show at KSPO Dome to finish out his first official solo tour was nothing to scoff at. 

He and Jisung had called earlier while Minho was at the airport, which mostly consisted of Jisung talking at a hundred miles a minute to get all of his nervous energy out while Minho hummed in acknowledgement every once in a while. 

“How are things with work?” Jisung had asked after the shaking in his voice had calmed enough for it to not worry Minho.

“Good! The studio is coming along nicely. Construction should be done on time according to the contractor. I think… yeah,” Minho trailed off. He probably should’ve come up with something better to say, but he was never really good at lying to Jisung. He'd already pushed that enough with his current situation.

“Is that it?” Jisung said through a laugh. 

“I don’t know. It’s not really important right now.”

“Well… I still wanna know about it.”

“Sorry, bug. I’m just stressed with all the logistics and stuff. But I’ll be able to tell you more once I get back.”

Jisung was silent for a moment and Minho’s mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that Jisung had been able to figure out everything from their brief conversion, but then he heard a sigh through the phone. 

“I’m gonna be selfish for a moment and say that I wish you were here instead,” Jisung said quietly. 

Minho let out a soft laugh. “If that makes you selfish, then I guess so am I,” he replied. “I’d rather be watching you perform than thinking about opening dates and recruiting employees.”

“Anything sounds better than that.”

“Then I’d rather be watching you than doing anything else.”

“I really miss you,” Jisung mumbled. Minho could practically hear the pout in his voice.

“I miss you too,” Minho replied quietly. It amazed him that even after all this time, admitting something as small as that still made his heart race.

“I want–” Jisung started, but then he paused as another voice echoed in the background of the call. “Actually, I have to head to the venue now to get ready for soundcheck,” he said after a moment. “But I’ll try and message before I go on, is that okay?”

“That’s perfect,” Minho said, glancing at his watch. “I’ll be waiting.”

“I love you and I miss you and I’ll be thinking of you the whole time!” 

Minho chuckled. “You said exactly what I was thinking.”

They both said their goodbyes then and Minho ended the call. Then he put his phone back in his bag, gathered his things, and got on a plane headed for Seoul.

And now, a few hours later, he was sitting in the nosebleeds to watch Jisung perform in front of 15,000 people to finish off a month-long solo tour.

Jisung just… didn’t know about any of that. 

Was lying by omission still lying? Maybe. But, Minho knew the payoff would be worth it.

☆

As expected, Jisung’s concert wasn’t anything less than incredible. From where Minho was sitting, it was a bit like watching a bug perform to a stadium full of other bugs; Jisung looked like nothing more than a speck dancing around on stage. Minho knew that comparison would make him smile.

The crowd was electric, filling the arena with screams and singing along like there was no tomorrow. Minho smiled under his mask as he mouthed the words to every song. As much as there was something special about watching Jisung in their living room with his acoustic guitar, stumbling through new lyrics and tossing drafts all over the floor, seeing him thrive on stage like he was meant to was something else entirely. 

Eventually the concert reached its final section, and Minho laughed when the audience groaned in disappointment at Jisung’s apologetic “Unfortunately…”

Jisung spent a few moments thanking all of his staff and the venue before his demeanor shifted into something a bit more sentimental.

“Next…” He began, pulling the mic away to take a deep breath and wipe the sweat from his forehead, “I want to say that I appreciate every single person who showed up for me during this tour. That means those of you who are here with me right now, those of you who I had the privilege to perform for as I traveled abroad, and all of you who sang your hearts out to my songs and put faith in me to make you feel like you could just let go and be yourselves, even for one night. I want you to know that I see you and I appreciate you more than words can express,” he said. Then he smiled, and Minho knew it was only for him when he added, “And to anyone watching from a hotel room in Tokyo, I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am without you. I love you.”

Minho watched on the big screen as Jisung’s eyes glistened, reflecting the lights as they passed across his face in a rhythmic pattern of soft pink and bright green. The last of his words seemed to echo off the walls and pierce Minho’s heart like an arrow. Maybe no one else would understand what Jisung meant, but he would.

Jisung then went on to profusely thank his fans for the next five minutes, which he did at the end of every show. His affection for them always seemed to emanate off of him like rays of sunshine and it made Minho smile all the same.

Jisung launched into his closing song, and then the show was over. He gave one final bow, shouted a thank you and get home safe! to the audience, exited the stage, and then the lights came up, illuminating the venue as music pulsed softly through the speakers. Minho sat for a while and listened to the noise of conversation slowly rise as attendees filtered out of the venue. He had budgeted Jisung’s extensive post-show routine into his plan and knew he had a bit of time to kill before he had to sneak into the waiting room, so he just sat back and enjoyed the sound of chattering fans.

That is, until the adrenaline kicked in.

He checked his watch. 9:32. If all went to plan, he would be on one knee in just a few hours. 

He stood up, then sat back down, then bounced his knee up and down a few times before standing up again and stretching.

“You good?” Changbin asked from beside him.

Changbin had been the first one to know about Minho’s plan. Despite being one of the few people capable of matching Minho’s own noise levels, he could keep a secret like nobody’s business, especially if it was one as important as a marriage proposal. He had been instrumental in making sure Jisung had no idea Minho was at the show, going the extra mile in lamenting to Jisung how sad it was that Minho couldn’t be there. Although, Minho had to tell him to tone it down just a little; he wanted to surprise Jisung, not make him cry. 

“I’m so good,” Minho said, the weakness of his voice contradicting the credibility of his affirmation. He tugged his mask down as he scanned his eyes around the venue. “Do you think I should go now? Or wait a little bit? Are there still too many people? Do you think anyone will recognize me?”

“Okay, woah,” Changbin said through a laugh as he raised his eyebrows and brought his hands up in a calm down sort of gesture. “Let’s take it one question at a time.”

“Sorry,” Minho said as he ran a hand through his hair. He had spent a good deal of time fixing it in the car on the way to the venue knowing it would likely be ruined by his nervous habit, which it surely was by now.

“You’re alright, dude,” Changbin replied. He stood up and gave Minho a much-needed pat on the back. “I think it’s alright to head down there now. Better to be early in case Jisung is done sooner than expected.”

“Yeah. Good idea.” Minho patted his jacket all around to make sure he had everything. “Actually, I should wait. Or should I? Should I just go? What would you do if you were me right now?”

Changbin eyed him up and down. “I think I would take a deep breath first,” he said slowly. “I know you're stressed, but I think it’s important to keep in mind that technically, you and Jisung are already engaged. You know what I mean?”

“I mean, yeah,” Minho replied through a sigh as he looked around. “It’s not like I’m worried about him saying no.”

“Then what’s worrying you?”

Minho shook his head silently before dropping back into his chair and staring out across the venue. 

“Jisung just finished performing his own songs to a sold out stadium of 15,000 people,” he said. “And every time I hear him speak, I’m just reminded of how much I don’t understand how he does it.”

“Does what?”

“How he does any of this! You guys write lyrics for a living. That kind of stuff is just a part of who you are. I mean, when Jisung proposed, it was like he was speaking in poetry without even trying. He can make anything sound romantic.”

“That’s true,” Changbin said through a chuckle.

“He knows that I don’t really… express my emotions. At least, not the same way he does. I’m not good at making things sound pretty like he does. But I want to. I just… don’t know if I can.”

He glanced over at Changbin who had been nodding along silently. “For starters, I would suggest you don’t compare yourself to Jisung when it comes to matters like this,” he said. “Not everyone is a prodigy with words like he is.”

“Unfortunately, I figured that out a while ago,” Minho muttered.

Changbin smiled and sat down, leaning back in his seat as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, I don’t want to say ‘just speak from the heart’ because I’m sure you’ve already tried that,” he said, and Minho wanted to hug him just for saying it. “But I think keeping things simple is the way to go. You don’t have to shower him with compliments for five minutes straight or try and say something that doesn’t feel authentic just because it sounds like a pretty thing to say. This isn’t the first opportunity you’ve had to show him you love him and it definitely won’t be the last, so try not to think about all the things you could say and maybe focus on the feeling you want to get across. I think he'll appreciate it the most if he knows you're making an effort, even if you feel like you're saying nonsense."

Minho let Changbin’s words absorb. Then he threw his head back and let out a deep sigh. “Again. You make it seem so easy,” he said.

Changbin huffed out a short laugh, its high and giddy tone oddly comforting to Minho’s ears. “It’s going to be okay. I know you’ll say the right thing when the moment comes.”

“You sure?”

“I honestly don’t think there’s anyone who knows Jisung better than you do. And this is coming from someone who’s known him since he was seventeen,” Changbin said with a warm smile. “Plus, if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that there’s not a single thing you could possibly say that would make Jisung love you any less.”

Minho felt a grin tugging at the corner of his lips as he looked around the emptying arena. “I know.”

☆

After a bit more waiting and plenty of deep breaths, Changbin and Minho finally made their way backstage. It was a bit difficult to get through seeing as very few people knew that Minho was actually supposed to be there, but luckily Changbin was able to get in contact with the right people, and eventually they made it to the back without being spotted. 

“I will leave you here,” Changbin said with a grand gesture as he and Minho stood outside of the empty waiting room. “Good luck, soldier.”

“Thanks,” Minho said through a tense smile. He felt in his pocket for the hundredth time that night, making sure the ring was still there. The flowers he had asked one of Jisung’s staff members to store for him shook in his hand. 

“Hey. It’s gonna be perfect,” Changbin said as he offered Minho one last comforting pat on the shoulder. “Just keep it simple. Go enjoy your dinner and don’t overthink too much.”

Minho gave him a nod. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“I know,” Changbin replied with a flourish of his hand before he turned and began to head down the hallway. “I’m gonna go see Jisung and make sure he doesn’t mess up your plan.”

“Thanks!” Minho called after him. 

Once Changbin turned the corner, Minho let out a sigh and headed into the empty room to wait with sweaty palms and shaking hands.

He sat down in a cushioned chair and checked the time. 10:02. He figured it would be at least another ten minutes before Jisung was done getting unready, so he decided to run through a mental checklist of everything in the hopes that it would calm him down. 

Flowers? Check. Ring? Check. Dinner reservation? Check. Speech?

Work in progress.

He let out a sigh and leaned back in the chair, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Just as he was feeling himself finally start to relax, his phone began buzzing in his pocket. He flinched before frantically reaching for it and checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” he answered.

“I’m done!” Jisung replied eagerly. Minho could hear the smile in his voice, and he felt a grin instinctively make its way onto his own face at the sound.

“Good job, bug,” he said as he sat up. “How do you feel?”

“Oh my god, I feel like I’m in a movie or something,” Jisung said. “Like, I wish I had more songs so it would have lasted longer.”

Minho chuckled. He heard the sound of rustling accompanied by a myriad of voices mingled together in the background. “I’m really happy it went well.”

“I know you saw the first show, but I really wish you could’ve been here for this one,” Jisung said. “It just felt… different. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because it was the last show and I’m feeling sentimental, but the energy was amazing. I know you would’ve loved it.”

“I really wish I could’ve been there too,” Minho replied. It was harder than he thought to act as though he hadn’t seen the whole thing when he could still feel the buzz of the crowd’s energy thrumming across his skin.

There was pause where all he could hear were the sounds of chattering staff and equipment being moved around. Then a door shut, and it was quiet.

“Even though you’re not here, it was like I could still feel you,” Jisung said after a moment. Without all the extra noise, his voice came through clearer than ever and Minho suddenly itched to see him, even knowing he was just down the hall. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jisung said. “Or… I don’t know. Maybe I was just pretending you were watching me because it makes me feel more confident.”

The urge to compliment Jisung was overwhelming and another lie slipped out without much resistance. “I watched as much of the livestream as I could,” Minho said. “It looked incredible. You looked incredible.”

“Thanks. I thought you might be busy.”

“I just had to step out for a bit to meet up with some of my team, but I’ve mostly been in the hotel watching the show.”

“Oh yeah,” Jisung said. “I checked your location earlier but I couldn’t see it for some reason.”

Minho swallowed thickly. He figured the easiest way to keep Jisung from getting suspicious would be to make sure he had absolutely no idea that he was still in Seoul, but of course, turning off his location only added another layer to the equation. Although, he guessed it wouldn’t matter in thirty seconds once Jisung walked through the door and learned the truth for himself. 

“I think something is wrong with my phone. I might just need to shut it down or update it,” he replied, hoping it sounded plausible enough. 

Much to his relief, Jisung didn’t seem to think anything of it. “Yeah, I think I’ve had that same issue before,” he said. “That’ll probably fix it.”

Minho let out the quietest sigh he could manage. The only thing he hated more than being away from Jisung was lying to him. In this case, it was a necessary evil. 

He suddenly heard the sound of voices begin to fade from the background as Jisung presumably made his way into the hallway and towards the waiting room. 

And right on cue, he said, “Changbin told me there was a ‘super secret surprise’ waiting for me in some room around here and sent me on a scavenger hunt to find it.”

“Really?” Minho said as he tried to collect himself. It had practically become a habit to enclose his hand around the box in his pocket and he found himself checking for its presence one last time.

“Yeah. I bet it’s just his jacket he left lying around or something. Not sure why he couldn’t just get it himself…”

Minho heard footsteps in the hallway and quickly shoved the velvet box back into the interior of his jacket, wiping his clammy hand on his jeans. “That would be kinda funny, wouldn’t it?” he said with a shaky voice as he readied the flowers and sat anxiously, listening as the steps came closer and closer. 

“If it’s something stupid I’m not sure if I’ll laugh or cry,” he heard Jisung say through the phone just as the door swung open and he walked through a second later.

“Surprise,” Minho said with a smile. He heard it echo through Jisung’s phone, which the other still had pressed to his ear.

Jisung’s face remained impassive for a few moments. Minho gripped the bouquet just a bit harder. 

Then, he watched as Jisung’s eyes widened, his face morphing into an expression bordering on disbelief. “What the hell?” he said, the sound still floating out of Minho’s speaker.

“That was a pretty good show you put on out there,” Minho said as he ended the call and pushed himself up, making his way towards Jisung, who still stood rooted in place. He looked between Minho and his phone for a long moment before slowly putting it back in his pocket and staring at Minho in silence.

Minho presented him with the flowers, laughing as he reached out a tentative hand and grabbed them, immediately bringing them up to his nose the way he always did with a fresh bouquet. 

“What the hell?” he repeated, his voice slightly muffled by the flowers. “But I thought you were– And earlier when we were on the phone and–” He shook his head and let the bouquet drop to his side. Some of the petals silently cascaded towards the floor. “How are you here right now?”

Minho reached up a hand to cup Jisung’s jaw at the same time Jisung’s free hand came up to rest on his lower back, like two magnets meeting each other in the middle. 

“You thought I would miss your last show?” he said with a soft smile.

Jisung shook his head. “But what about work and– You weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow and now–” he stuttered. He threw his head back and let out a groan. “God, I’m so confused.”

Minho laughed as his hand dropped to rest on the side of Jisung’s neck. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I worked things out with the team and was able to get back a day early so I could be here.” 

Jisung’s eyes softened. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Minho dragged his thumb across Jisung’s skin, reveling in the feeling of the other’s fingers doing the same against the fabric of his jacket. “You know I would do anything for you,” he said quietly. 

Jisung let out a sigh and leaned forward until his forehead was resting against Minho’s. “Thank you,” he whispered, and Minho answered his gratitude by surging forward and connecting their lips. 

He heard the bouquet drop to the floor as Jisung brought his arms up to circle around his neck; he figured Jisung probably appreciated his company far more than he cared about those flowers. Minho pulled him close and ran his hands across his waist, squeezing softly. He smelled like cheap body wash and expensive cologne and felt like home.

“So did you watch the whole thing?” Jisung asked. He had pulled away but remained as close as possible. 

“Of course,” Minho replied. “I got to see you cry on the big screen and everything.”

Jisung groaned and weakly pushed him away, although he didn’t go very far. “I was just… emotional. Whatever. And I thought–” He paused and let his eyes drag over Minho’s face. “I thought you weren’t here. I thought you wouldn’t see me missing you in front of thousands of people,” he muttered.

“I would’ve seen it online the next day,” Minho responded, and Jisung rolled his eyes. “But it really did mean a lot.”

“As soon as I got off stage, the only thing I wanted to do was call you. But they made me wait until now,” Jisung said through a pout. He seemed to get choked up for a moment and Minho squeezed his hip. “I’m just so glad you’re here. It makes me really happy to know you were watching me. In real life, I mean,” he finished with an appreciative smile.

And there it was again, the thing Minho both loved and envied all the same. Jisung’s ability to freely speak his mind and put his feelings into words without more than a second thought never failed to fill him with some indescribable feeling of admiration.

“Why does a week apart still feel like hell?” he said with a shake of his head.

Jisung let out a sigh and shrugged. “I guess fiancés aren’t supposed to be separated for that long.”

He slid his hand into Minho’s and toyed with the ring on his finger. The silver band gleamed as brightly as it did the first time he slid it on. 

“Well, now that you’re done, I thought we could go out and celebrate if that’s okay with you,” Minho said, hoping more than anything that it was okay.

“Oh!” Jisung said, his eyes widening. “That reminds me.” He let his arms fall from Minho’s shoulders as he slid them down, taking Minho’s hands in his own and swinging them back and forth between them. “The staff planned a surprise afterparty for the whole team! It’s going to be at this place in Gangnam in just a bit. You know, just a little something to celebrate the end of the tour and stuff. Isn’t that amazing?”

Oh.

Well, some things just couldn’t be accounted for. That’s why they were called surprises, after all.

Minho put on a smile and nodded. “That’s… incredible,” he said, clearing his throat. It felt as though the inside pocket of his jacket had started to burn, reminding him of his plan and pointing out that said plan was now facing a major roadblock. 

“I know! And now that you’re here, it’ll be even better,” Jisung added with a soft smile. “Everyone will be so happy to see you. Unless you already told them you were here.”

He hadn’t, and perhaps that had been his first mistake. He'd essentially only told Changbin and a few of Jisung’s staff members that he would be returning in time for the concert, but they must have assumed he would be game for the after party. He had decided to keep his proposal plans to himself in the off chance word ever made it back to Jisung, but that meant no one knew he absolutely needed Jisung to be free after the concert. In hindsight, he probably should’ve planned for something like this to happen, but he had been too preoccupied with what he was going to say in the moment that he hadn’t considered what might happen if the moment couldn’t even take place. 

“No, I didn't,” Minho said finally. He squeezed Jisung’s hands. “I told Changbin and your manager, but no one else knows.”

“Are you okay with going?” Jisung asked, a bit of hesitance creeping into his voice. “I know you weren’t expecting it and you’ve probably had a long day.”

“Hey,” Minho said as he freed a hand and brought it back up to Jisung’s face. “This is a party for you. It’s to celebrate your tour and all the hard work you did. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

The box in his pocket pressed against his skin, and he almost wondered if maybe now was the right time. He could picture himself getting down on one knee right then and there, picking up the fallen flowers and presenting them to Jisung along with the ring and asking him to be his forever. He could already imagine Jisung prancing into the party and showing off his ring to everyone, saying look what Minho did!

But it didn’t feel right. Surely there would be a better time. He would just have to figure out when.

So instead, he bent down and picked up the flowers, tucking them into his side as gently as he could before tugging Jisung towards the door. 

“Come on,” he said, forgetting about the secret hiding inside his jacket for now. “Let’s go party."

☆

It was funny in a sort of cynical way that as soon as Minho and Jisung stepped through the doors to the restaurant, Changbin pulled him aside and immediately launched into a string of apologies, saying he had no idea about the party either and that he would’ve told Minho about it had he known and maybe I can pull the fire alarm so it wraps up quickly. He almost seemed more worried about Minho’s ruined plans than Minho did and truly did seem as though he would go to great lengths to make sure Minho was able to execute his plan, surprise party be damned. 

“It’s fine,” Minho told him with a smile, although Changbin’s expression of concern told him that it was hardly believable. “I’ve already got it figured out.”

In reality, there was absolutely nothing about the situation that was close to being figured out. A good part of the afterparty had been spent splitting his attention between socializing and frantically trying to decide whether or not tonight would remain as the night he returned Jisung’s gesture and promised him forever. Plans had changed, and now he had to make a choice. 

He was able to come up with a few backups. His initial idea was just to postpone everything. That way, he could still follow his original plan as closely as possible. But, that would still require a good amount of reorganizing. He had begrudgingly canceled the dinner reservation on the way to the afterparty knowing the restaurant booked out months in advance, meaning if he wanted to keep things the same, he wouldn’t get to do it for a long time. But he wanted to do it now, so that option was off the table.

So then he figured that maybe instead of waiting, once the party was over he and Jisung could simply go back to their apartment where Minho could surprise him in some small way. It might not be the most romantic of places, but he knew Jisung would swoon at the intimate setting and subtly of the moment (and as an added bonus, it could occur within the next few hours). But if all he was going to do was propose in their living room, he would’ve done it as soon as he’d gotten the ring. It had to be better than that. 

In his most desperate moment, he even toyed with the idea of just popping the question in the middle of the party, but that idea died about as soon as it was birthed; a public proposal was the one thing they had silently agreed not to pursue. 

Eventually, he resigned himself to the party and decided that it would be tomorrow’s problem. The last thing he wanted to do was worry Jisung when he was trying to enjoy himself after months of hard work. So he put on a smile, grabbed a bottle of non-alcoholic beer, and threw himself into the crowd as he tried to forget about the ring sitting heavy in his pocket. 

☆

After what felt like hours of small talk and making sure Jisung didn’t drink more than he could handle (which meant Minho was stopping him after one cup of punch), the party began to wind down and everyone started to say their goodbyes. Jisung bid farewell to every single person in the room, even though he would likely be seeing them in the next few days. 

“You ready?” Minho asked once Jisung had returned to him with a glowing smile and flushed cheeks.

“Yep!” he said, his voice growing hoarse from hours of singing and talking. “It’s time to get you home and into bed.”

“Aren’t you the one who should be tired?”

“I never get tired.”

“I’ll bet you ten bucks you'll fall asleep on the way home.”

Despite Minho’s confidence in his odds, Jisung seemed to thrum in the passenger seat as soon as they got in the car. Minho knew he was at least tipsy from the one drink he saw him consume earlier, but even once it began to wear off he was still a ball of energy buzzing with all sorts of musings that he spoke freely into the dead air of the car.

“God, I feel like I could run a marathon right now,” he said with a laugh as he queued music on his phone. 

“I’m surprised you’re not ready to fall asleep. A two hour concert followed by a two hour party… How long have you been awake, anyway?” Minho asked, casting a glance towards Jisung before focusing his eyes back on the road.

“Too long, probably,” he replied. He tossed his phone into the cupholder. “But I want to do something. It’s not that late yet.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go home and sleep?”

“I don’t want to sleep. I want to be awake,” Jisung said. “With you,” he added after a moment, glancing at Minho with bright eyes.

“What do you want to do, love?” Minho conceded. 

“Wanna go to the river?”

Minho glanced over at him again. He was staring at Minho with wide eyes and a hopeful smile, his skin glowing in the muted light. Minho knew there was no denying him what he wanted when he looked like that.

So without more than a sigh and a nod, he headed in the direction of the river, finding somewhere to park before following Jisung outside. They walked in silence for a while, both taking in the quiet night and letting the cool air fill their lungs. 

Eventually, they came to a stop at a spot overlooking the water and both leaned their arms against the guardrail, gazing out at the lights on the other side of the river. 

“It’s so clear out tonight,” Jisung mused as he tilted his head back to look at the sky. “You can see the stars really well, even with all the city lights.”

“Hm.”

Minho felt Jisung’s eyes on him. He kept his gaze focused on the view ahead. 

“Did you like the songs I added to the setlist for tonight?”

“Is that even a question?” Minho replied, a smile quickly growing on his face. “I can’t believe you performed 13. I honestly thought you forgot about that song.”

“How dare you!” Jisung exclaimed, false disbelief etched into his features. “That’s literally my baby.”

They both laughed then, the sound floating out towards the water. Minho couldn’t help but feel giddy even at the most simple jokes like this, but he wouldn’t give up that ease or comfort for anything in the world.

“Are you ever going to perform Hold My Hand?” he asked, the lyrics of the acoustic ballad Jisung used to deliver his proposal all those weeks ago swirling around in his mind.

He watched as Jisung let out a quiet laugh and shook his head, turning to look briefly out at the water. “No,” he said softly. “That one is only for you.”

Minho couldn’t help but plant a kiss on the side of Jisung’s head then, grinning when he hid his own smile with his sleeve.

Jisung looked out over the water and so Minho looked at him, seeing the way the lights reflected off his eyes just as the ripples in the river reflected the smattering of stars up above. His eyes, the ones that loved to smile along with his mouth, the ones that could see through Minho without issue the way no one else’s had ever been able to. 

He suddenly remembered a moment which had occurred at some point soon after they started dating. Jisung had claimed that he could tell exactly how excited Minho was to do something based solely on the tone of his voice when he said “okay”. Not only that, but he had made the very astute observation that when Minho was reluctant or angry, he sighed through his nose exactly ten seconds after saying “okay”. Not one, not five, but ten. Minho had teased Jisung for this piece of knowledge, saying You stared at me for ten seconds? and Jisung had just laughed along good-naturedly, clearly very satisfied (and not the slightest bit ashamed) with his encyclopedic knowledge of all things Minho. 

Maybe back then Minho had been a bit flustered to realize that someone had invested so much time into him as a person that they could tell exactly how he felt by even his most minute of mannerisms, but now he wouldn’t dare be so hypocritical as to make fun of Jisung for staring at him when he did the exact same thing. He loved to stare at Jisung. It was one of his favorite things to do. Sometimes he didn’t even realize he was doing it until Jisung’s face flushed and he pushed Minho’s head away with a laugh. And Minho would dive right into that laughter, grabbing Jisung’s face and saying Why would I look at anything else when you’re right in front of me?

He let his eyes drag down to Jisung’s nose, its slope soft and cascading, just like the rest of him. He had a habit of touching it whenever he was nervous or flustered, and Minho loved riling him up to pull that very reaction out of him. Their knowledge of each other went both ways, he figured. He knew exactly what to do to make Jisung laugh or blush or whine or yell. He knew what made him tick, what excited him; he understood his desires like his own and knew exactly how to fulfill them. 

He let his eyes fall to Jisung’s lips, the ones that fit so perfectly against his own, as if they were made in his image. His antithesis, his missing puzzle piece, the yin to his yang. Plush lips that formed the widest smiles, the sharpest smirks, the most frustrating pouts; lips that recited words Minho could only dream of thinking up; lips that had so much to say about every little thing, describing even the most trivial of concepts as if they held such importance. Lips that sang a song for him and him only, ones that asked him to be Jisung’s forever and then some.

Looking at him like this, taking him in as the whole that he was, Minho felt the words bubbling up everywhere within him. The calm of the river ahead of them was the exact opposite of the one swelling inside of him, the water crashing against the rocks and shocking him awake.

He glanced around the park. There was no one else in sight, although he probably wouldn’t care if there was. Right now, it felt like he and Jisung were the only ones in the entire universe. 

He grabbed Jisung’s hand where it hung by his side. Jisung turned his head and looked at him, offering him a smile, his nose crinkling ever so slightly. Eyes, nose, and mouth working in harmony to create an expression that Minho didn’t think he deserved to see directed at him so often. 

“Hey,” he said, feeling a grin forming on his face. His heart was beating out of his chest.

“Hi,” Jisung replied softly. He squeezed Minho’s hand. 

Minho took a deep breath, feeling it wash over the words stirring in his chest. 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said quietly. 

He watched as Jisung’s eyes softened. Then, perhaps as expected, he brought his other hand up to scratch his nose as he looked away for a moment. “Baby,” he muttered through a shy laugh. “You can’t just say things like that.”

“Why? Do you not like it?” Minho asked, trying to force a teasing edge to his voice. He could feel his own hand shaking as it gripped Jisung’s.

Jisung shook his head and offered Minho a warm smile. “No. I like knowing how you feel,” he said. “I don’t get to hear it all that often.”

Minho knew how it made him feel to hear Jisung shower him with praise, but he always seemed to forget how flustered Jisung became whenever he was complimented. 

He brought a hand up to Jisung’s face, cupping his cheek and rubbing a gentle thumb over his skin as he tried desperately to find the right words and hold onto them before they disappeared again.

“I know it’s not like me to say things like this, but sometimes… Sometimes I get mad at myself because I don’t tell you enough how important you are to me.”

“You know that doesn’t bother me,” Jisung said, his hand smoothing over a crease in Minho's jacket. “I know you love me.”

“I do,” Minho chuckled. “Of course I do. And when I was watching you earlier, I couldn’t believe I ended up with someone like you. Sitting in the crowd made me think about how lucky I am to get to be a part of this world you’ve created, that I get to be a part of your life. Sometimes I think about my own and I wonder how much better it could’ve been if I had met you sooner, but I’ve never regretted anything about it except for the fact that I spent so long without you. I would give you anything if you asked for it. I love you so much that I–” he paused, feeling himself starting to get choked up. Pushing through the tightness in his throat, he said, “I don’t think I’ll ever love anything else like this for the rest of my life.”

Jisung’s eyes, although still crinkled with his smile, had grown glossy with tears barely held back. He let out a quiet laugh. “I love you too,” he said. 

Minho reached into his pocket and ran his fingers over the velvet case, feeling his heart rate pick up even more as he enclosed his hand around it. 

“Sometimes I think back on when we first met and wonder what might have happened if things had gone differently,” he said. “If we hadn’t met when we did, if you didn’t go to New York, if I didn’t chase you all the way there and wait two years for you to come back here. But I always end up feeling like we would’ve met, like we would’ve ended up together, no matter what. Because I feel like… like I was made for you. I used to think I was made for a lot of things, but nothing ever felt as right as you do. Nothing ever came as easy as loving you did. And even if I fail at everything else I’ve ever tried, it doesn’t matter as long as I can keep loving you.”

It was so easy to look at Jisung and wish that he could be even half as expressive, that he could use his emotions to make something that moved others to tears. He knew it wasn’t his calling, but that still didn’t stop him from wondering what it might be like. 

But seeing Jisung's eyes swimming with stars proved that the words he was stringing together actually meant something. It felt a lot less scary than he'd thought, but maybe he should've known; loving Jisung had always made things easier. It was natural and comfortable and the one thing he’d never forget how to do.

“The first thing I thought when I met you was that you didn’t like me because you glared at me the whole night,” he said, watching with a timid grin as Jisung laughed and wiped more stray tears that had made their way down his face, “but the second thing I realized was that I would do anything to make you like me. And maybe… maybe some people would call me crazy for thinking I had met my soulmate after one night, but they’ve never been me and they’ve never known you. Not like I have, at least. I never feel more like myself than when I’m with you. And– and I want that forever. I want that forever and even longer.”

A voice in the back of his head was yelling “Save some of this for your wedding vows!” but he realized he would gladly repeat everything he said and more to Jisung a thousand times over. In life, in death, in sickness and in health, in every moment in between; he would keep saying it in any way he could. 

He pulled the box out of his pocket and got down on one knee, watching as Jisung fully gave in to his tears, his hands coming up to cover his face. 

He popped open the case. Without even looking, he knew there was no way the ring could possibly be glistening brighter than Jisung’s eyes in that moment. 

“For me, it’s always going to be you. So Jisung, will you marry me… again?”

Jisung nodded slowly at first, then more assuredly as he sobbed into his hands. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

Minho couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face. No words, not even the ones he had just uttered into the darkness of the night, could describe the emotions swirling all around him like a storm. Jisung’s hands were shaking even more than his own as Minho slid the ring onto his finger. A perfect fit.

He straightened himself up only to immediately be tackled into a hug. 

“You act like this is your first proposal,” he joked into Jisung’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him and holding on tight. Humor was the only thing stopping him from breaking down into tears the same way Jisung had.

He heard Jisung sob into his chest. “I love you. I literally love you so much, I–” his sentence was cut off by another sob, and Minho laughed quietly into the air as he stroked his back. 

They remained like that for a while, the stars looking down on them as they embraced, cloaked in the warmth of a promise finally brought to completion.

“No one has ever talked about me like that,” Jisung muttered, his voice lost in the fabric of Minho’s jacket. “I– I don’t even know what to say.”

Minho blinked, feeling a tear roll down his cheek as it disappeared into the crown of Jisung’s head. For the first time, he had stripped Jisung of his ability to speak using nothing but his own words. It was a strange feeling and maybe it would never happen again, but knowing it was possible made him confident that he’d said the right thing this time. 

“I just told the truth,” he said finally, smiling into Jisung’s hair.

Sitting at home in the drawer of his desk was a piece of paper with a carefully scripted letter of what he had planned to say to Jisung when he proposed. He had practiced it in his head over and over until the words no longer sounded coherent and he wondered if he should even say anything besides “marry me”. But being here alone, obscured in the darkness of the night sky and left with nothing but his own feelings, he knew that piece of paper was never going to do anything for him but make him more uncertain. All he needed was Jisung. He should’ve known that was all he ever needed.

“This wasn’t what I had planned, actually. It was going to be different,” he said after a moment. He didn’t usually seek external validation, sometimes a bit too confident in his choices, but he felt the need to justify himself at least a little.

Jisung looked up at him curiously. His cheeks were stained with tears and his nose was red and running. Minho thought he had never looked more beautiful. “Really?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Minho replied. He tilted his head back to look at the sky. “But I think this was better than what I had planned.” 

He was sure dinner would have been nice. The food probably would’ve been good, the conversation fun, and proposing to Jisung in the private room of a fancy restaurant with his scripted speech, he could imagine, would’ve been romantic in a lot of ways. They had first met over dinner; perhaps it would’ve been a sweet reminder of how far they had come since then.

But thinking about it now, after the ring had finally found its home on Jisung’s finger, Minho figured nothing could beat this feeling of standing under the stars with the person he loved more than anything in the universe. No expensive dinner or fancy proposal or perfectly prepared speech mattered when he had Jisung right in front of him like this.

“I thought it was incredible,” Jisung said. He leaned up and pressed the softest of kisses to Minho’s lips before sliding his hand down onto Minho’s chest and inspecting the ring. “I love hearing you talk about me. It reminds me of how obsessed you are.”

“I’m not the only obsessed one in this relationship,” Minho retorted. He held up his left hand and wiggled his own ring in Jisung’s face. 

“Love isn’t a competition, Minho.”

“Well if it was, I would win.”

“So you are the obsessed one then?”

“...”

Jisung threw his head back and laughed, the sound filling the air and getting carried away in the wind. Minho wished he could keep it in a bottle and carry it with him wherever he went, but he figured the world deserved to hear it sometimes, too.

The drive home felt normal. They talked more about Jisung’s concert and Minho’s trip, they joked, they laughed, and then they were home. The ring on Jisung’s hand didn’t seem to change much. Maybe it was because they had already promised each other forever a long time ago. So many things had come before tonight, things that had all led up to where they were now. The apartment they came home to, the cat that slinked between their legs as soon as they walked in the door, the furniture and the photos on the walls and the memories of the experiences they had already spent side by side; years of building their life together had culminated in a promise to treasure it until the end of time. Minho knew there would only be more adventures to come now. 

☆☆☆