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1. I Promise None of This is a Metaphor by EveBabitz

   Fandoms: Nirvanna the Band the Show (Canada TV 2017), Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025), Matt and Mara (2024)  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • F/M
   • Complete Work

   07 Jun 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Matt Johnson (Nirvanna the Band the Show)/Reader
   • Matt Johnson (Nirvanna the Band the Show)
   • Original Female Character(s)
   • Choking
   • Spanking
   • Cunnilingus
   • Vaginal Fingering
   • Finger Sucking
   • doug fregin mention
   • Squirting
   • Teacher-Student Relationship
   • Panty Kink
   • Maybe?? idk I may be normal
   • rpf in spirit
   • a little intox as a treat
   • Dirty Talk
   • Bathroom Sex
   • Exhibitionism kinda

   Summary

   You look over. He’s palming his erection through his pants. You’re jealous he’s able to touch himself while you’re still working. The way he gives these sexual soliloquies isn’t like the dirty talk you’re used to. He says things as if it’s a fact, not a suggestion. Instead of a low, deep voice, Professor Johnson says everything at full volume. Why is it a secret to nobody that you’re a horny little brat? Because he’d call you a horny little brat instead of your name if he could. “Hey, Horny Little Brat, would you prefer almond milk or oat?”

   -

   You're a bartender-turned-college student on summer break who's been hooking up with your literature professor.

   Series

   • Part 2 of Yes, Professor!

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   4,721

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   22

   Kudos:

   38

   Bookmarks:

   3

   Hits:

   601