Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

'You don't deserve anyone good.' Explosive footage of Tony Stark and Captain America has emerged sending the internet into a frenzy

By GOTH GOTHERSON for DAILY CELEBRITY CRAP

They had protected us from the extraterrestrial evil for years and no one even suspected the nature of their relationship. Until a famous Youtuber Alexander von Gruba Pupka, 21, posted a video of the two heroes arguing outside his parents' restaurant. The three-minute footage shows Steve Rogers, 98, and Tony Stark, 46, in the middle of a heated argument.  

The three-minute footage has appeared on the internet yesterday. The quality of the recording is far from crystal clear, yet there is no doubt about the identity of the two men or the words they exchanged.

Captain America loudly informed Tony Stark that their secret romance is 'over' and explained it by calling him 'shallow', 'destructive', 'devoid of morals and ethics', 'not good enough for anyone'  and 'a disappointment'. He also advised Stark to 'stay away from good people,' as he is bound to 'ruin everything he touches'. Rogers ended his emotional outburst by expressing his concern for Stark's future, saying that his 'excessive drinking and lack of self-control' pose more danger to his well-being than any of their enemies. 

Tony Stark said he had enough of being constantly compared to Bucky, Rogers' brain-washed friend.

Von Gruba Pupka claims he had no intention of violating the two heroes' privacy and insists the footage was just a part of his daily vlog 'Squeezing Pupka'. 

Representatives for Tony Stark and Steven Rogers has all been contacted. A spokesperson for Tony Stark declined to comment.

Top comments

Tłusty Zadik Fake. 

Fujka  Well, truth hurts, Tony.

Kluski z makiem  Such a classy breakup. Von Gruba Pupka is a dick for posting that video, I hope they sue him.

Chapter Text

Smiling again. Two years after the very public break up with Steve Rogers, Tony Stark is 'happily in love'

By CORAL GRIMES for CELEBRITY PUKE

It only took him two whole years to get over Captain America. The Avenger billionaire is now 'in a new relationship,' a source exclusively told Celebrity Puke.

Not many fans thought Stark could cope with the stress of the painful split from Rogers in any other way than emptying one bottle after another. But against the odds, since last October, the troubled only son of Howard Stark was not once seen drunk.

'He's doing much better now,' the insider said. 'He has found new love, less judgemental than the previous one.' 

Pasztecik de Zadek, a famous blogger once struggling with alcohol addiction, said the latest photos of Stark suggest he had stopped drinking or at least reduced his alcohol consumption. 'He seems more relaxed and less bloated,' she explained in her vlog.

Top comments

Łap kotika I'm happy for him, he deserves happiness.

Patik Who's gonna be this time? Bruce Banner?

Fjufju Or maybe he's just cut back on booze bc he's concerned about his health? 

Chapter Text

Keep your friends close and enemies closer. Tony Stark is spotted in Sweden with former arch nemesis

By WOODROW HOYT for WISCONSIN JOURNAL

He is well-known for his passion for risk-taking but even his fans are shocked by his latest shenanigans. Tony Stark, 48, was spotted enjoying a balmy summer day with Loki, 1064. 

America's favourite billionaire philanthropist was photographed yesterday in Godås Blombacken, Sweden by a popular selfie artist Udo von Biodro. He explains: 'I wanted to snap two hundreds of selfies whilst gazing at Vänern and the shortest way to the lakeside from my house is near a cottage that I thought was deserted. It's far from other houses, surrounded by trees and close to the shore. To my surprise, I saw two men sunbathing on the front porch and they both looked familiar. I couldn't believe my own eyes, my favourite Avenger and his enemy?'

Looking perfectly at ease with one another in the pictures, Tony Stark sports tousled hair while wearing only dark sunglasses. The charismatic villain next to him wears a faded green short-sleeved shirt and jeans shorts.  

Perhaps Tony Stak was trying to apprehend the misbehaving Norse god by exposing him to the direct sunlight.

Top comments

Oj What the actual fuck? 

Lol I hope you're satisfied, Steve Rogers. This is all your fault.

Smør på lippen Whatever he's up to, I'm glad Stark didn't ruin my country.

Chapter Text

Discussing your top secret mission? Relaxed Tony Stark has heart-to-heart with friend Bruce Banner as he's seen for first  time since THOSE pictures of his idyllic getaway with Loki

By J.D. O'CONNOR and CLARE FLETCHER for FANCY GOSSIPS

Tony Stark is back from Sweden and looks unexpectedly well-rested and happy. The 48-year-old heartthrob was seen in NY with Bruce Banner for the first time since the photos of his bizarrely cosy mini break with Loki emerged.

The Jekyll-Hyde Avenger looked pensive and worried as he sipped his usual herbal tea, while Stark was all smiles and drank iced coffee. The two friends doubtlessly discussed Stark's mission to re-capture Loki. It seems it was a success and the dashing Norse god is no longer a threat.

Top comments:

Lauri I have some serious doubts about your interpretation of those pics...

I'm a cat Yes, that's definitely what happened. 

Sounds posh I think Tony just told Bruce he captured Loki and tied him up to his bed.

Chapter Text

Not keeping things Lo-ki! Tony Stark and Loki seen together in New York

By ELIJAH MIKAELSON for ORIGINAL STORIES ONLY

Tony Stark appears to have taken the advice to stay away from good people seriously. For the second time this month, he was spotted with Loki and the two former enemies now appear to be rather friendly. The sexiest Avenger had his arm placed affectionately around 1064-year-old Loki's shoulder as they walked down the street together following a lunch-time break.

Loki was in a much better mood than the last time he visited the city he was hell-bent on destroying. Unaware of Stark's popularity, he was surprised they were followed by a group of paparazzi. He asked his new friend: 'Stark, why are those mortals trying to photograph us? Is it because I'm hot?' Tony Stark was heard replying with a simple yes.

At least no public property was damaged during their outing.  

Top comments:

Kotik "friends", yeah, more like friends with benefits

Bob How did that happen? Why isn't Loki in jail? Why wasn't he caught the moment he came back to NY?

Nan Yes, Loki, it's bc you're hot. Both of you are.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark attends ex Pepper Potts' wedding with rumoured flame Loki

By Benetton Cumberbund for GOSSIP GRILL

Not many things are as awkward and stressful as seeing your ex getting married before you. Tony Stark clearly intended to outshine his former partner Pepper Potts as he chose Loki to be his plus-one at her wedding reception.

The most popular nerd superhero of all times looked razor sharp in a navy suit, while his date opted for a figure-hugging black suit. According to one of the wedding guests, the two unlikely friends were 'inseparable' and 'barely noticed other people'. 'They danced and talked, behaved like it was their first date, not someone else's big day,' the source added.

Somewhere in Africa Captain America must be proud of himself. 

Top comments: 

I love pigeons This was funny at first but now I'm getting worried. What is going on, Tony? Why do you feel you need to prove anything to Rogers?

Not Black Panther I am 99% sure that Captain America did not want this to happen. Don't blame him.

Patison I bet Pepper was furious. Not a classy move, Tony.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark and Loki continue to ignite romance rumours as they put on a cosy display in Iceland

By FRAMLY DOLARIDE for NOT SO GREAT PINK DRAGON

They were first linked back in September and Tony Stark and Loki continued to ignite romance rumours when they were pictured looking cosy near Grotta lighthouse in Iceland. 

The pair, who have never commented about a potential relationship looked perfectly at ease in one another's company, as they wore coordinating black ensembles. One of the tourists who saw the Avenger and his much older friend said they paid no attention to the popular tourist attraction and most likely didn't even notice they were not alone. 'We took hundreds of pictures of them walking together and they didn't see us at all.' Another added: 'Despite the distance, you could totally tell they are on a date.'

Gossips Online reported back in October, that the pair had been hooking up with one another. 

NOT SO GREAT PINK DRAGON has contacted a spokesperson for both Tony Stark and Loki for further information.

Top comments:

Such news The blur on that shot shows some real dedication right there. Looks like someone was hiding in a wheelie bin from 3 miles away just to get a pic to show someone from behind that could be anyone. But yeah, that's definitely Stark and his new mistake.

Bubi But why are they sticking to Nordic countries? 

Kot Wait, Loki has a spokesperson? Who? Thor?

Chapter Text

New lovebirds Tony Stark and Loki confirm romance rumours as they enjoy ANOTHER date night in Reykjavik

By ALEX PARRISH for QUANTICO JOURNAL

Just days after they were spotted getting cosy near the Grotta lighthouse, Tony Stark and Loki have enjoyed a private dinner in Reykjavik, Iceland.

The duo appeared to confirm their romance on Thursday when they dined at Frábær ímynda restaurant.  

The owner of the restaurant, Sigur Gróss, said they ordered hákarl, cured shark, svið, singed and boiled sheep head and Brennivín, the Icelandic schnapps. 'Sadly, they were more interested in each other, than in the famous Icelandic food,' Gróss added.

While they have yet to comment on their relationship, as they left the eatery all signs pointed to date night for the pair.

Top comments:

Misiula Having a dinner together is not a confirmation of anything. 

Uncle Ben I'm still hoping Stark just wants to annoy Rogers.

Björk They should have tried ein með öllu - the Icelandic hot dog. Insanely delicious.

Chapter Text

Surely this confirms it! Tony Stark and Loki pictured kissing in Copenhagen

By RICH DOT COM for JELLER NEWS ONLINE

Tony Stark and Loki continue their series of mini-breaks in Northern Europe. Last night, the couple was spotted in the capital of Denmark. In the series of snaps, the pair are locked in a romantic clinch, while walking along holding hands, with Loki burying his head in Stark's shoulder in one particularly close moment. He must have bent his knees to do so, yet it looked cosy and sweet anyway. 

The author of the photographs, Hans Puffin, told Jeller News Online that he had over ten minutes to photograph their passionate kisses. 'They gave me plenty of time to take pictures, it's almost like they wanted me to get the best quality photo,' Puffin said.

According to the witnesses, the pair held hands on sunset stroll along chilly Bellevue Beach and didn't mind the pouring rain. Some added they could hear the distant sound of Tony Stark's fans' hearts breaking.

Top comments:

Look at me, me, me I had no idea they were a couple. Oh god I hate Loki so much now! Tony is dreamy!

Freya photos seem so stage. Surprised they aren't slow dancing.

Pizza So, we're not supposed to remember that Loki's actions caused Tony's PTSD? Yeah? Ok.

Chapter Text

Fake, staged and cringeworthy. Fans question the legitimacy of Tony Stark's relationship with Loki

By NAS DOGONYAT for ZŁAPAŁAM SUMA

Their blossoming romance came as a bolt out of the blue. After a few romantic mini-breaks and countless public displays of affection, Twitter and Facebook was overrun with memes and sceptical tweets, while pictures of the misbehaving Avenger and the troublesome Norse god kissing were branded 'fake' and 'staged.'

Last week, the couple were photographed in Oulu, Finland, sharing a slow dance and a few stolen moments on Nallikari beach. 

Tweeters were in agreement that the photos taken in both Copenhagen and Oulu looked 'staged,' 'completely fake' and 'awkward' using GIFs and pictures to illustrate a collective rolling of eyes.

One wrote: 'Can we talk about how staged those photos look? Jesus.'

While one further user said: 'I've just seen the most awkward pictures of Tony Snark and Loki kissing. So vomit-inducing, how do I unsee those?' 

'These staged photos of Loki and Tony are simply awful. What a way to ruin your credibility and become a laughing stock,' pointed out another.

'THOSE SLOW-DANCING PICS OF TONY STARK AND HIS FAKE BOYFRIEND ARE SO CRINGEWORTHY, I CAN'T ,' added one user, using capital letters for emphasis.

One Steve Rogers fan saw the photos and suggested that Tony Stark is using Loki to hurt his previous boyfriend's feelings. 

Another Tweeter sarcastically used the words 'absolutely believable' and 'not at all fake' to demonstrate their doubt. It was a feeling that was echoed throughout other posts, with one verified user suggesting that Tony Stark wants to make Steve Rogers jealous and win him back.

Top comments:

Bleh Isn't it strange that Tony never hinted he was with Steve while it lasted? Now he's in a new relationship and all of a sudden he wants everyone to see it? 

Omg Cringeeee~!

Steve Rogers for president Tony, you're just pathetic. 

Chapter Text

TOM SINGLETON: SO TONY STARK, ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN YOUR CAREER?

By TOM SINGLETON for THE FANCIEST OF THEM ALL

There's hardly any day without new photos of the ostentatiously happy couple and even Stark's fans have begun to question his sanity. Finding true love borders on impossible and no one denies Iron Man the right to express his feelings publicly, yet it's hard not to wonder if he remembers in what circumstances he met Loki.  

In 2012, Loki has already attacked SHIELD and stole the Tesseract when he showed up in Stuttgart, Germany, to create a diversion and help Clint Barton steal iridium. Steve Rogers was sent to apprehend Loki, but the god surrendered only to Iron Man. Later, when the troublesome Asgardian had already managed to turn the Avengers against each other and blow up the helicarrier, he shifted his attention back to Tony Stark. Not knowing about a new, upgraded version of the suit, Loki defenestrated Stark and made no attempt to save his enemy.  

A year later, Steve Rogers ended his secret relationship with Stark and didn't spare his feelings. The way Rogers explained why he no longer wanted to be with his late friend's son seemed harsh and many feared how that brutal honesty was going to affect Stark. Last September, he was first seen with Loki. 

Many fans are deeply concerned about their idol's state of mind. It is not only the question of whether or not this very public love affair is Stark's way of punishing Rogers or himself. In 2012, Loki gathered dozens of innocent people willing to kill for him. One of his talents is mind control and he does not hesitate to use it. Stark's unusual behaviour might be explained by magical brainwashing. 

Even if their love is true and not an effect of morally questionable spells, there are still reasons to worry about Stark's well-being. How long will the Avengers tolerate a wolf in not every convincing sheep's clothing parading right in front of them and possibly spying on them? When will they realise that Loki's presence in our world means danger? What will Stark choose, Iron Man or Loki? 

Fortunately, there is still hope that Steve Rogers will return to the US and continue his mission to protect the US citizens from hostile aliens, including Loki. 

Top comments:

Crab I don't think Tony will become evil just bc his team don't like his boyfriend. Also, didn't Loki need his blue sceptre to control people? He doesn't have it anymore.

Co tak piszczy Not everyone wants to date an innocent boy next door and lead a boring life. Maybe Tony loves danger.

Patison nie przeszkadzaj bo piszę You are right. We can't let people be happy. The idea! My goodness.

Chapter Text

Not again! Tony Stark spent last weekend in Tønsberg, Norway

By The Woman for MEN'S GOSSIPS

Ever since Loki, the god of mischief, his brother and their subjects arrived on Earth following the destruction of their homeland, we've all been wondering if Tony Stark wanted to rekindle his relationship with his rumoured boyfriend. It's been years since their very public romance and while Tony Stark never officially confirmed they were together, it seemed the couple were happily in love. Unfortunately, following a series of romantic getaways, it appeared they went their separate ways. 

Old love never dies, though. It's been only a matter of time before Tony Stark was seen near New Asgard, Norway. Our source claims the famous Avenger spent the last weekend in one of the hotels in Tønsberg. 'The guests complained about the suggestive noise,' the source added. 'Moreover, some of the furniture in the suite occupied by Mr Stark was destroyed. The bed, one chair and the desk. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened and with whom.'

Indeed.

 Top comments:

Janelle Oh my God, here we go again.

Cookie Well, a trashed hotel room can mean a lots of things, why assume the worst?

Net Not this again! I almost repressed that memory of their cringy photos. 

Chapter Text

Tony Stark and Loki PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: Everone's favourite Avenger and the god of mischief appear to confirm they are BACK ON as they hold hands during smitten stroll in New Asgard

By MAY OBLIVIOUS for LOAF RECIPES ONLINE

There has been a lot of speculation recently regarding Tony Stark and Loki's on/off relationship. However, the pair appeared to confirm their reunion as they were spotted holding hands while out in New Asgard on Saturday.

The first cool Avenger and his former enemy strolled alongside one another as they made their way into a local restaurant curiously named Another!

Loki kept it casual in a black t-shirt and ripped denim jeans.

The black-haired god accentuated his slim waist with a Louis Vuitton belt, which he wore to match his sunglasses.

Meanwhile, Tony looked glamorous in a navy blue suit. 

LOAF RECIPES ONLINE has contacted Loki and Tony's reps for comment.

The pair's outing comes just hours after Tony announced that he's been thinking about quitting the Avengers altogether and leaving the US.

'No I am not going back anytime soon, sorry x,' Tony confirmed after a die-hard quizzed him on Twitter about his return to the Avengers compound.

Tony made the admission when a fan asked: '@IamIronMan I’m gonna ask the question we all want to know: will you be back with the Avengers now that Captain America has returned?????? ARE YOU GOING TO WORK TOGETHER AGAIN???? Pls say yes.'

But, the most stylish Avenger angrily took to social media to set the record straight that he and Steve were not together despite attending Thor Odinson's house warming party together.

He said on Instagram: 'To answer everyone’s question… me and Steve are NOT back together. Yeah, we spent a few hours in the same place, but that’s because we’ve got a mutual friend, that's all.'

Top comments:

Ned I... have a bad feling about this, y'all.

Me I'm going to assume this was Loki posting shit on Tony's insta.

somewhere Wait, this isn't a recipe for a walnut and date loaf.

Chapter Text

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE Loki steps out solo to grab a coffee

By RICH BROOK for STORYTELLER ONLINE

The god of mischief enjoyed some peaceful alone time in Tønsberg, Norway on Thursday. 

The 1067-year-old was spotted grabbing a coffee at Coffee & Sweets and kept a low profile during the solo outing. Loki was dressed in a black coloured hooded sweater and a pair of trousers. 

He completed his outfit with black colored trainers and accessorized with shades.

At one point while he was walking, the rumoured boyfriend of Tony Stark appeared to have dropped his half-eaten doughnut on the pavement. Loki, however, opted to step over it and leave the piece of sweet treat on the ground. 

It was easy to see his name on his cup of coffee was misspelt and read 'Leki'. Moreover, the brother of Thor was wearing an Iron Man bandaid on his index finger, perhaps indicating who his favourite Avenger is.

Top comments:

me Hey I have the same bandaids!

Kitty But where's Tony?

Raffa I bet his finger is completely fine, he just wants to show everyone that he likes Tony. I don't do that, but I know people who do. Not me, though.

Chapter Text

Pine-apple of his eye! Tony Stark and Loki pictured in Tønsberg

By MIRABELLE BERRY for FRUIT AND VEGGIES NEWS ONLINE

They have been living together in New Asgard for a month now. Tony Stark, 49 and Loki, 1067, were pictured today coming back from from the farmers' market in Tønsberg Norway. Tony was seen carrying two ripe pineapples while Loki was holding a cup of iced coffee that he was sharing with Tony. 

Tony Stark has previously stated that he tries to incorporate fruit and vegetables into most of his meals.

Pineapple a source of important vitamins and minerals, including thiamin, riboflavin, vitamin B-6, folate, pantothenic acid, magnesium, manganese, potassium, beta-carotene and other antioxidants. Fresh pineapple is the only known source of an enzyme called bromelain, which might play a role in a range of different health benefits.

Eating fruits and vegetables of all types has long been associated with a reduced risk of many lifestyle-related health conditions.

Many studies have suggested that increasing consumption of plant foods like pineapples decreases the risk of obesity, overall mortality, diabetes, and heart disease.

It also promotes a healthy complexion and hair, increased energy, and an overall lower weight.

Pineapple juice is probably most known for its supposed role in making semen more palatable. Because pineapple is pretty acidic, eating a lot of it or drinking a lot of pineapple juice can help cut down on the bitter taste of semen. 

Top comments:

Jesus Christ I could get over one pineapple, but two- that's too much.

Peanuts You know what, I give up.

Serduszko I hate pineapples, I hate Loki and I hate what's being implied here.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark cuts a casual figure as he chats on his phone while taking a solo stroll through Central Park

By Jordan Cavanaugh for MEDICAL EXAMINER JOURNAL

Tony Stark kept things casual as he stepped out for some much-needed self-care on Sunday.

The 49-year-old Avenger donned a white t-shirt and denim jeans for a casual stroll through Central Park in New York City.

However, the famous heartthrob didn't completely leave the world behind, as he was spotted chatting on his phone throughout the walk.

He carried a large cup of iced coffee with him, wearing a pair of black shades for eye protection.

Not seen with the Avenger was his boyfriend, Loki Odinson.

Recently, the son of Howard Stark has not been seen without Loki, whom he met in 2012. The duo reportedly got together not long after the very public breakup of Tony's secret relationship with Steve Rogers (Captain America).

The couple has never publicly commented on their courtship, but they went public with their relationship in 2016. Soon after Loki's return to Earth, the couple got back together and Tony spent the last month in New Asgard.

Now, however, things don't look great for the pair. Our insider said that the honeymoon period ended with an explosive fight. Tony left New Asgard on Friday and reportedly ended his relationship with Loki for good. That could explain why Tony looked so downhearted and weary during his leisurely walk despite the beautiful weather. 

Top comments:

Total body response Yikes, he looks like shit, but maybe he's just hungover.

Oyakata Hopefully he ditched Loki and rejoined the Avengers.

Zip it People here who are celebrating Tony's heartache are awful. If he really broke up with Loki, he must be feeling pretty bad, even if his fans are super happy about it. 

Chapter Text

'I keep my personal life personal': Tony Stark dodges question about dating Thor's brother Loki and claims he never talks about his relationships

By SUNNY SUNDAY for THE MOON

He is currently living in New Asgard, Norway with roommate Loki Odinson.

However Tony Stark was quick to dodge the question when he was quizzed on whether they are more than just pals, during an interview with the New York Times.

The most famous Avenger, 49, is regularly photographed with Loki, 1067 which has resulted in speculation that they are in a relationship.

When asked if they were an item, Tony apparently shrugged and said: 'I just keep my personal life personal. I've never talked about my relationships.'

Tony was most recently dating Steve Rogers,101, until they split in 2014. Two years later he was first photographed with Loki while sunbathing naked in Sweden. Neither Loki nor Tony Stark has ever confirmed or denied they were dating.

A spokesperson for Loki declined to comment and instead offered us local mead.

Top comments:

Abloom Oh, since when? Didn't he say he wasn't back together with Steve?

Kurczak Wait, I'm confused. I thought it was clear they were a couple and Tony left Loki last week. No?

Peanut Cheetos "Roommate", give me a break. I don't hold my roommate's hand in public, I do that with my boyfriend.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark proves things are very much ON with beau Loki Odinson as the swimwear-clad duo hit the shores of Crete for a romantic break

By David Budd for BODYGUARD WEEKLY

Their on-off romance has kept fans captivated.

And it seems things are very much on for Tony Stark and his beau Loki Odinson as they were seen soaking up the sun in Crete earlier this week.

Clad in back shorts, the 49-year-old Avenger looked happier than ever to be with his former enemy, 1067, who sported a pair of bright blue shorts.

Tony and Loki looked totally at ease with one another as they larked around on the busy beach during yet another of their reunions.

Insiders revealed to BODYGUARD WEEKLY: 'I was sitting on the beach and just heard this man shout out 'Lokes'. I looked over and recognised the pair of them. They spent the whole afternoon swimming and eating ice cream. They seemed happy.'

Their turbulent romance has stunned fans over the years, with one of their most recent splits coming after a violent row that convinced Tony to move out of New Asagrd.

In the midst of their last break, the famous Avenger refused to either confirm or deny his relationship with Loki.

Top comments: 

Jay this is ridiculous.....I do not know why anyone gives them airtime... Tony is making himself look very stupid!!!!!

Patison  Apparently we are captivated by it, to be honest, I couldn't give a toss!

Bella Lol at the pic 9, Tony was applying sunscreen to Loki's back while Loki was eating Tony's ice cream. 

Chapter Text

Tony and Loki are a cute couple as they hold hands for a leisurely stroll along the Acropolis of Athens

By EVE POLASTRI for VILLAIN MONTHLY

They spent the last couple of days in Greece. The most famous Avenger was spotted holding hands with 1067-year-old beau Loki, son of Odin, during the walk in Athens. Unfortunately, a cluster of ancient ruins, which is the star attraction of the city and a World Heritage Site, was not fully appreciated by Loki. The god of mischief was overheard complaining about the heat and ended up sitting on the ground with his head between his legs, while Tony Stark was fanning him with his hands and encouraging him to drink water.

Stark and Odinson were first seen together in 2016, prompting rumours that the pair were dating. The circumstances of their first meeting in Stuttgart, Germany in 2012 made many believe Tony Stark must have been brainwashed to even consider dating Loki. Soon after the arrival of Thor, Loki and other Asgardians in Tønsberg, Norway, Tony Stark was photographed with Loki and it appears they have been living together since then. 

Top comments:

Argus Wear a hat, you idiot.

Frida You need 0,5 l of water for 30 min of walking in this heat.

Jojo Isn't he a Frost Giant? He and Tony are so daft.

Chapter Text

Back to work! Iron Man and Loki fight side by side against mysterious enemy

By ALICE LONDON for MIRROR MIRROR ONLINE

They have spent the better part of this week sightseeing and sunbathing in Greece. But yesterday Loki and Tony Stark had to interrupt their holidays to defeat a mysterious baddie. 

Last night the residents of Mykonos Town, Mykonos were woken by a tremendous noise and bright flashes of light. They also reported hearing loud explosions. The fight lasted from 20 minutes to half an hour. It ended when Tony Stark and Loki managed to find each other in the labyrinth of narrow streets. One café was nearly completely destroyed and many boutiques and shops had their windows smashed by the blast. Fortunately, Panagia Paraportiani, Mykonos’ most famous church, was spared.

So far, none of the residents showed any pictures of the battle itself, but many posted photos of Tony Stark and Loki after the fight. Apart from bruises and cuts, the pair appeared fine enough to celebrate their victory with a long kiss.

Representatives for Tony Stark, Loki and the Avengers has declined to comment.

Top comments:

Tea How sure are we they didn't fight each other?

Steven I wonder what really happened. Surely Tony wouldn't risk destroying a town like Mykonos just to entertain his erratic and insane boyfriend.

Onkel Ben We didn't need 30+ pictures of the kiss, did we?

Chapter Text

Loki joins YouTube, hints at his relationship with Tony Stark

By PASCAL MĄGO KOLĘDRA for FANCY COOKING ONLINE

He clearly loves attention. Ever since the god of mischief returned to Earth fans have expected him to join social media. Many believed Loki would want to comment on the numerous articles about him and Tony Stark. Curiously, though, Loki started with a 35-minute long video titled 'What I eat in a day,' posted on YouTube.

He started his first vlog by explaining it was all Tony's idea. 'Tony introduced me to the idea of vlogging and showed me a couple of videos here on YouTube,' Loki said while lying in bed, waiting for his breakfast. 'I too want to share everyday stuff with strangers on the internet, my likes and dislikes, my opinions and my talents. Some Q&As, reacting to things, starting drama with other Youtubers over nothing, insincere apology videos, all that fun stuff.'

His breakfast in bed consisted of eggs in the basket, prepared by Tony. Fans were delighted to see the hole in the slice of bread was heart-shaped. Tony used hot sauce to make the outline of the heart more visible. Loki mentioned Tony most often uses 'adult' cookie cutters. 'His favourite is the one that requires two yolks.' While eating and chewing loudly, Loki revealed his brother Thor warned him against getting involved with Tony, knowing his reputation of a playboy. The thing that changed the Asgardian brothers' opinion of Tony was his making breakfast for Loki. That level of commitment impressed the Norse gods, for some reason. 'It's very convenient,' Loki added when Tony brought him another slice. 'I have to have my breakfast as soon as I wake up and well, Tony's here, ready to serve me.'

Loki had some relationship advice to share. 'If your significant other doesn't make you breakfast, don't even think about accepting their marriage proposal,' probably hinting that he is in fact engaged to Tony Stark.

Loki finished his breakfast with two chocolate cookies, ginger tea, one piece of dark chocolate and coffee.

His mid-morning snack was vanilla pudding, the Kvik Lunsj chocolate bar and hot chocolate. Loki said he likes it even on a hot day. 'It's just so comforting, you know?'

His lunch consisted of a simple salad with fried chicken. Loki chose that moment to say he was puzzled by 'Midgardian diets', mainly veganism, arguing that people need meat. 'I crave meat these days and I can't believe Midgardians deny themselves delicious and nutritious meals. Where do they get their nutrients from?'

The afternoon snack was a large sausage from the local butcher's. 'It's so good,' Loki assured us. 'Very tasty.'

He had dinner with Tony in the New Asgard's only restaurant and it was fried salmon with veggies. 'I love fish,' Loki confessed, eating his second serving. 'It's very good.'

Back home, Loki also had three scrambled eggs with a piece of toast. 'Eggs are the actual superfood,' Loki preached while stuffing his face with the clearly overcooked eggs. 'Way better than some berries.'

Loki ended the vlog by talking about his final meal of the day that he described as a whole food that contains less than one calorie and one per cent of cholesterol, and is rich in zinc. Some viewers claimed they knew what it was before Loki entered his bedroom and zoomed in on an unsuspecting Tony Stark, who was taking off his socks. 'There is it,' Loki said, chuckling to himself. 'My midnight snack.'

He finished the vlog with the usual Youtubers' ask to smash the like button, share and subscribe. Many viewers pointed out the vlog was full of long pauses, awkward angles and hasn't been edited at all.

It's clear Loki doesn't count calories, but his viewers do and it's estimated he ate 4117 calories.

Eggcellent eggs in the basket

Make sure to choose a good quality sandwich bread. You'll need firm and thick slices, big enough to for a large egg.
It's best to fresh eggs and good quality butter. You're welcome to use my recipe for homemade butter.
Don't forget salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Preparation time:5 minutes.
Cooking time:5 minutes
Total time: 10 minutes

Ingredients

2 slices of sandwich bread
2 eggs
2 tbs butter
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Instructions

Cut out the centre of the bread, using a cookie cutter or a sharp knife. Butter each side. Heat a pan. Place the buttered bread in the pan, fry for two minutes or until golden brown and crispy. Flip the bread slice, break one egg slowly on the hole. Season with salt and pepper. Flip the bread, cook for an additional minute. Serve immediately.

Nutrition

Calories: 238kcal

Carbohydrates: 14g

Protein: 8g | Fat: 16g

Saturated Fat: 8g

Top comments:

Twister I guess we can all agree it was a dumb vlog, but if I were dating Tony Stark, I too would let the whole world know I swallow his load.

Habanero latte That's a crazy amount of eggs and chocolate. He does look like he put on weight. And just one coffee a day? he lives in Norway, right?

Bebs Att least it wasn't monetised.

Chapter Text

Thor joins Loki's vlog, chaos ensues.

By FRIEDA KLEIN for DAYS OF THE WEEKS WEEKLY

It's not a secret his relationship with his brother is rather strained. However, Loki let Thor star in his newest vlog, titled 'Teaching Thor how to use a smartphone.' Some fans claim it was a clever trick to get more views or to expose Thor as a person dumber than a bag of hammers.

Loki started by admitting Thor forced him to make that video. 'He knows Midgardians adore him and he too wants to join social media.' 

Thor proved he isn't camera-shy by interrupting his brother and gleefully welcoming his fans to 'his video,' which made Loki roll his eyes. 'It's not at all scripted, but Tony gave me a long list of things not to discuss here, like his secret metal project.' Fans speculate that means another Iron Man suit and wondered how long it would take for either Thor or Loki to tell us all about it.

Thor listened to Loki's explaining how to make a call or send a text, then remarked it is easier to send a raven. 'They are not battery-operated,' he pointed out. 'You can still use them when there's a power shortage.'

Despite his reservations, Thor gave it a try and decided to call his ex-girlfriend, Jane Foster, arguing that she would never know it was him, as it was Loki's phone. Loki stared into the camera for a long moment, as if he wanted to say 'Look what I have to deal with.' Thor left Jane a couple of bizarre voice messages that included him pretending to be a chicken and comparing her to a frog. Loki endured it with a pained expression, clearly embarrassed by being related to Thor.

After ensuring Jane Foster would block Loki's number, Thor asked about one feature that ravens do not possess- taking pictures. Loki explained the process and Thor followed the instructions by snapping a picture of them. That, however, led him to check other photos on Loki's phone and judging from his reaction, some of them were explicit.  Thor was upset and appalled, asked Loki why he would do such a thing, then threatened to have words with Tony Stark. A red-faced Loki tried to get his phone back, throwing creative insults at Thor, shrieking 'It's private, what is wrong with you?' The fight lasted a good five minutes and resulted in knocking the camera off the table.

Top comments:

Green tea entusiast How come Loki had Jane's number?

Fleas It's like teaching your grandma how to use a phone, then you end up buying them one of those simple, large phones for the elderly.

2360-24 PHD I would love to have a smart raven instead of my phone.

Chapter Text

Pregnancy confirmed! Tony Stark buys a baby blanket

By REY LOH for SHIPPING ONLINE

Ever since Loki's first vlog, fans have been speculating about the god's pregnancy. Numerous hints about this strange but joyous news included eating breakfast as soon as Loki woke up,  highly nutritious food, ginger tea and mentions of cravings. Many have pointed out that, according to Norse mythology, that wouldn't be Loki's first pregnancy.

It seems now we have a clear confirmation Loki and Tony Stark are in fact expecting, hopefully not an eight-legged horse. Yesterday, Tony was spotted in New Asgard, carrying a blue baby blanket. This probably means Loki is at least eighteen weeks pregnant and the pair is expecting a baby boy. Tony appeared to be in high spirits, clearly excited to become a daddy. He waved hello to a grumpy-looking Thor, who was polishing his hammer in front of his house. Perhaps the god of thunder isn't too pleased with his brother's relationship or he expected the couple to get married first.

Congratulations!

Top comments:

Dziobo Oh, for heaven's sake, it doesn't even look like a baby blanket.

Cookie I don't think we can count this as a clear confirmation.

Believer I knew it.

Chapter Text

Heavy nettle! Loki shares Asgardian beauty tips

By FORTY QUINN for VEGAN BEAUTY

To the surprise of absolutely no one, the god of mischief ignored the latest gossips about him and instead focused on things that are really important: shiny, healthy hair. His latest vlog is all about natural ways of achieving this goal and the star of the show is the humble stinging nettle. Easy to grow and process, this amazing plant is pack-full of minerals and vitamins that are essential for healthy skin and hair.

Loki opened the vlog by complaining about his ungrateful subjects. It seems the Asgardians are fed up with him and refuse to do anything he orders asks them. Still, someone had to pick nettles on the edge of the New Asgard's only meadow. Loki showed both Tony Stark and Thor gathering the herb in the afternoon sun. 'They are complaining now, but when they will want a nettle infusion, they'll be grateful for my idea of spending the day like this,' Loki explained as he sipped water. 'Yes, I know it's a bit late to harvest nettle for tea, but what can you do.'

Thor was seen in the background, clearly tempted to use nettle as a weapon against his annoying brother and eventually, he succumbed to this temptation and stung Loki. Tony avenged his beloved and smacked Thor with a handful of young nettle, which always stings the most. The fight didn't last long and no victor emerged from it. All three men had arms red from the nettle, but hey, at least it was fun to watch.

Back at home, Loki revealed he loves using stinging nettle as a final rinse. 'I make a large pot of infusion, drain it and when it's cooled, I pour it over my hair.' That, however, was not the recipe he wanted to share. He carefully washed the nettle, removed dried leaves and divided the remaining herb into two parts. 'This one,' he said pointing to a smaller heap, 'is for my nettle pizza. It's very easy, you just sauté it in butter and use it as a sauce. I made it once for Tony, with lots of cheese and chilli, and he ate it practically in one bite.'

Loki instructed us to let the nettle infusion seep for at least five hours. 'Plenty of time to ask yourself why you're still living with your brother,' Loki said, sounding disappointed in himself.

Once the infusion was ready, Loki poured it over his hair and massaged it gently into his scalp. 'Let it dry naturally and wash your hair in the morning.' Tony Stark, who apparently was holding the camera, remarked: 'Yes, this doesn't stink at all, really, not a problem for your significant other, smelling this weed all night.'

Loki ended the vlog by revealing what the viewers had already suspected: the video was edited. 'Tony's, let's say, intern agreed to help me with this on the condition I will refrain from making lewd jokes about Mr Stark. I guess the real intro and the funny sound clips are worth it.'

Top comments:

Ted I will... not be taking his advice on hair care.

Bedżege Loki, you dumbass, no one cares about this crap, tell us all about your pregnancy!

Cat milk He's such a spoiled little brat. No wonder his people are tired of his bullshit. But I will try the nettle pizza recipe, thank you.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark shares an adorable selfie with boyfriend Loki

By GINGER GAYHEART for INSTAGRAM NEWS

Tony Stark has shared an adorable selfie with his boyfriend Loki to mark the couple's anniversary.

The most loved Avenger,48, posted the sweet snap on his Instagram page on Thursday after celebrating six months since the pair got back together. He captioned the image: 'Happy anniversary to us'.

Stark and god of mischief Loki toasted the special occasion by escaping to the Lofoten Islands. They stayed in Vågan, the first known town in northern Norway.

Stark also shared snaps to his Instagram story, which showed him relaxing by the fire and catching up on some reading while Loki was eating potato chips from two large bags in the background.

Top comments:

Lord Zadek Easy there with those chips. He's gained at least 2 kg. Sure, food here is yummy, but maybe move a bit more?

Anthony_63 Congrats, I guess.

Fresh This is not an actual anniversary, but if you're in an on-again, off-again relationship, I guess you have no choice.

Chapter Text

Wait, what? Loki discusses 'The struggles of being a stepfather'

By CHRIS MASS for JANUARY NEWS

Loki clearly has learnt what clickbait is. His newest vlog's title would suggest Tony Stark is a father and obviously, most of his fans clicked on the video in panic, just to breathe a sigh of relief. Loki explained Tony is actually only a mentor and a father figure to a teenage boy.

'It's always been just us and suddenly, this kid appeared in Tony's life,' Loki started his stepdad story. 'Tony cares about him a lot and feels responsible for him. The boy is at that stage in life when he needs a lot of guidance and support. Tony made it clear he wasn't going to abandon him and I had to accept there was a new person in his life.'

Loki then confessed he wanted to make the kid like him, for Tony's sake. 'I hoped my coming back to Earth wouldn't change anything between them. I admit I had a bit of a problem with setting boundaries. If the kid's aunt said no and Tony said no, he would come to me and would give him what he wanted.' Shockingly, that led to several disagreements with the aunt and Tony.

'I had to change my approach. Spoiling the kid rotten wasn't the best option. The problem is, I'm not the one to make sure the boy eats three meals a day and does his homework. It's tempting to be too lenient with him because he isn't really my responsibility. However, that made me think about a certain person who always got what he wanted as a child and how insufferable he is now because of this. To prevent Tony's protégé from sharing this awful fate, I had to put my foot down and set some rules.'

Fortunately, the teenager got over that and still likes Loki. 'He's the one who edits my videos,' Loki revealed. 'He's patient and kind, always ready to lend somebody a helping hand, even though he has a lot on his plate. Also, he translates the bizarre comments you younglings are leaving on my vlogs, so don't think I don't know what you're saying.'

So... does Loki know he's a meme?

Top comments:

Bedże I hate to say it, but I can relate. I too made that mistake with my husband's child.

Da_kota I had a mini heart attack when I saw the title of his vlog

Puzzle No, I don't like that. I wanted to think Loki is just a weird criminal, but now he makes sure someone else's kid is raised well?

Chapter Text

Loki suffers an awkward mishap as he leaves restaurant with his trousers undone

By MEGHAN COMMONER for REPUBLIC NEWS ONLINE

He is a well dressed man who often looks dapper in well put together ensembles.

Unfortunately, Loki suffered an awkward mishap on Monday night when he stepped out with his jeans button undone after feasting at Hungry Viking restaurant, Tønsberg, Norway.

The god of mischief still managed to look stylish, despite the fashion faux pas, as he opted for an all black look with a long coat.
Despite sporting a stylish ensemble, the brother of Thor left his jeans open, no doubt having forgotten after enjoying a good meal.

He accessorised with a navy-blue scarf and slipped on pair of dark shades, despite it being nighttime.

Tony Stark, who was with Loki, either didn't notice the undone top button or didn't care to mention it to his boyfriend.

Top comments:

Sugarcookie Breaking news, he overate. 

Dragon I think it might be time to go a size up.

Dziobo Omg, button up, no one wants to see that!

Chapter Text

Should've buttoned up! Loki catches cold and loses voice

By FLORA FAUNA for BIOLOGY NEWS ONLINE

Last week he was pictured not entirely covered up. The god of mischief thought probably that the common cold is too common for him to catch and now he lost his voice. In the most recent vlog posted on his Youtube channel, Loki informed his viewers via short messages on post-it notes that he had been under the weather for a week and that morning woke up voiceless.

Tony Stark, Loki's partner, was heard cackling, 'How are you going to complain now?' Loki's hurt expression stopped his giggling. He took over the duty of vlogging and revealed his efforts to help his boyfriend. 'I can't convince him to see a doctor and he won't take any medicine. Which means gallons of herbal tea I have to make, chicken soup I have to buy and weird Asgardian potions I have to prepare while he offers creative input by writing furiously on his silly post-it notes. Thor, who no one asked, convinces Loki to take a quick dip in Oslofjorden and put sliced onion in his socks. Needless to say, they are both weird, but what could I really expect from the Asgardians?'

A miserable-looking Loki ended the vlog by sipping his tea and sharing with his fans his tips for not dying of cold. His notes included: 'a warm bath', 'a cheese toastie with hot sauce' and unsurprisingly, 'adult activities with your significant other.' After all, an orgasm is thought to be a natural painkiller.

Top comments:

Patison Kotison Finally some peace and quiet, I'm sure Tony and the Asgardians are so relieved Loki finally shut up.

Bobik 99 Poor Tony, what he has to put up with, stinky onion socks and dumb Asgardians

Cheese snack soup I recommend cheese soup, it's tastier than some boring chicken soup.

Chapter Text

Trouble in paradise? Loki joins Facebook

By JOHN SMITH for SNOOPING ONLINE

It's been seven months since Loki Odinson returned to our world. The god of mischief seemed to have immediately rekindled his tumultuous relationship with Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man. Knowing how challenging it was for those two to stay together, fans have been waiting for the first sign that the couple might break up.

Yesterday morning, Loki joined Facebook and his first post was rather sad. 'Feeling blue,' the Norse god confessed. Fans theorise Loki misses his home, or he had a fight with Tony Stark.

The Avenger liked the post and left a quite insensitive comment: 'Yeah, you are! I love it when you're blue,' complete with a laughing emoji. Fans were taken aback by this response.

It's not even the first red flag. Two days ago, Loki posted another vlog on his Youtube channel. He was looking for a black nail polish online and when he was gushing over the matte ones, Tony Stark yelled at him from another room, saying: 'You're the last person who needs that!' Some viewers were disappointed in Stark, who is the richest Avenger. 'Unsupportive and stingy,' one viewer wrote in the comment section.

Top comments:

Jim from IT Break up.

Shrimp Hey, people need matte nail polish, Tony!

Wut Maybe it's a private joke?

Chapter Text

Loki and Tony Stark join Pornhub? A video of the pair found by fans

By JIM from IT for ADULT CONTENT ONLINE

For a couple of months, Loki's been posting relatively family-friendly vlogs on YouTube. He explained his videos are edited by Tony Stark's teenage intern who agreed to it on condition that there won't be any sexual jokes. Fans suspected that Loki, not known for being chaste, has been secretly uploading more adult-oriented videos on porn sites.

Three days ago, a video surfaced of a couple suspiciously similar to Tony Stark and Loki. It's twenty-four minutes long and was uploaded to Pornhub by a member called max1989. The pair featured in the video engages in all sort of activities, but they are also very careful not to show their faces or speak louder than a whisper. Both men are dark-haired and one is shorter than the other.

The video was apparently shot in a hotel room and no personal items are shown. The two men first undress each other while kissing. Once they are naked, the shorter man gently pushes his partner on the bed and leans over him to give him a blowjob and finger him. After a while, he kneels between his boyfriend's legs and penetrates him. It's slow and tender, the top leans down for a kiss from time to time and they whisper something to each other very quietly.

Then the shorter man flips the other on his belly and picks up a black paddle. The spanking that follows looks genuinely painful, but the enthusiastic reaction of its receiver strongly suggests he enjoys it. After a couple of minutes, they resume their intercourse and now it's faster and harder than before. The bottom makes a lot of noise, even when his partner hand closes around his throat. After the climax, the pair cuddles for a moment, then the video ends.

Fans excitedly took to social media to express their feelings about the video. Some doubt Loki and Tony Stark would post their private video online, but others point out Loki would do exactly that to troll us. One Twitter user wrote: 'At first I thought no way that's them, I mean missionary? And Tony on top? But spanking and breathplay, that sounds like Loki.' Another user added: 'I can't believe that Loki is a bottom. Maybe they switch and it was just Tony's lucky day?'

Loki himself was quickly notified about the video by countless messages on Facebook. He responded by posting a video to that site titled 'Reacting to THAT video.' He was clever enough to not show any footage or say anything that would result in the video being taken down, and used headphones to shield younger viewers from lewd sounds. He watched the entire video, pausing occasionally to comment. He started by saying he doesn't know whether to feel offended or flattered by the suggestions that it was him and his boyfriend. 'Do you really think I would give Tony all control in such a situation?' he asked with a cheeky smile. He seemed to like the blowjob part, saying that it's just good manners to do it for the person who later offers much more. 'Oh, it's nice and slow,' he remarked, 'affectionate, maybe even romantic. Again, what would make you think that's me?' The spanking part took him by surprise. 'Oh! But seriously, that paddle looks cheap and probably doesn't hurt that much. Buy a proper one or don't waste your partner's time!' The final part of the video made him less surprised that fans believed it was him. 'All right, I can see why I've got so many messages about this. Ha ha!' He also liked the last scene. 'Cuddling is a nice thing to do afterwards,' he stated.

Fans noticed he never said that it wasn't him and that he appeared to be unimpressed with the sex acts presented in the video just to continue trolling his viewers.

max 1989 has been contacted and refused to comment.

Top comments:

Moon It's them. Loki is indeed trolling us all.

RollXXL I've seen this vid before it became popular and I liked it. Now I hate myself.

Pivot Is Loki embarrassed to admit he's a bit vanilla? Also, I think this max person stole their video and that's why Loki acts like it's not him and he dislikes it.

Chapter Text

Loki and Tony Stark stroll through Tønsberg

By AIR SMITH for THE GOSSIP

They have been living in New Asgard, near Tønsberg, Norway, for almost a year, causing surprisingly less trouble than everyone expected.

And Loki and Tony Stark looked relaxed as they ran some errands and strolled through Tønsberg on Thursday.

The trickster god donned an oversized black jacket for the stroll and completed his wardrobe by teaming his dark jacket with matching trousers, while he also wore a green scarf.

His raven tresses were brushed into a coiffed style and the god wore black sunglasses to shield his eyes from the sunshine.

His partner, the most recognisable Avenger, opted for blue jeans and a navy blue jacket.

The pair were seen ordering coffee and sandwiches. They had their lunch in silence, ignoring fans who excitedly took pictures of them. Many fans noticed how cool Loki is about such situations, never getting frustrated with curious people and quite often smiling for the camera.

After the meal, Loki used Tony's phone, no doubt to check comments on his latest vlog. It's been suggested by many to try assembling an IKEA dresser without instructions. It went unexpectedly well, perhaps because Loki let Tony take charge of the project. Loki simply handed him whatever part Tony asked for. without complaining. Viewers were impressed by how well the two get along, considering their personalities. The majority of the comments contained the word 'goals', which indicate the relationship between the former enemies is healthy, against the odds.

One YouTube user wrote in the comment section: 'Man, I wish my boyfriend would listen to my like Loki. He accepts Tony knows more about this stuff and doesn't argue just for the sake of arguing. Wow.'

Another added: 'They are clearly so in love, the way Loki looks at him, oh my heart.'

Top comments:

Yael That's a strangely positive article, Air Smith didn't even mention their ages. A bit sus, if you ask me.

Kocurek Maciuś I've read those comments and they weren't that positive, so what on earth.

Nettle 27 I mean, Loki likes the attention, that doesn't mean he's a great person.

Chapter Text

Big mouth and stinky drain! Loki accidentally spills the tea on Tony Stark's secret

By VICTOR FRANÇOIS for PUZZLEMENT ONLINE

It's been quite a while since Loki and Tony Stark came out as a couple. One of the many, many questions the fans were asking was apparently 'what it's like to date Tony?' Loki answered that in today's vlog. 'Honestly, do think twice before dating a handyman. There's something wrong with our shower, every time we use it, the drain smells weirdly metallic, like blood. Instead of calling a plumber, Tony decided to fix it himself. Needless to say, it's the third day without a shower and he keeps repeating he knows what he's doing. He doesn't, ' Loki explained, exasperated and dishevelled. He added that there was another reason to have a functioning shower: Tony's intern came to visit them.

'I thought that would make that idiot rethink and call the professional but instead, he and the kid are in the bathroom together, trying to fix it. Oh my goodness, there's two of them now!' Loki then showed a brief clip of Tony Stark and the intern sitting on the bathroom floor, holding wrenches and chatting happily. The boy was filmed from behind and he was wearing a hoodie that hid his face from the camera.  Loki criticised their work ethic, pointing to a large bag of candies on the floor between them. 'No treats until it's finished!' Loki threatened. Tony chose that moment to share his and the boy's plans to renovate the entire bathroom. Loki groaned, defeated and left them.

The next thing he filmed was a duffel bag. 'Tony is taking the kid for a hike/fishing trip tomorrow. As soon as they leave, I'm calling a plumber. In the meantime, I've checked what Tony packed. Mostly chocolate, nuts and other nonsense. I've added woolly socks and gloves, superheroes or not, they are still only human.' That seems to confirm what many have suspected: Tony's intern is Spiderman. That would explain the sudden upgrade of his superhero suit and Tony's protectiveness of him. Loki must have forgotten that since the boy was on a hike, he couldn't edit the video and now it's too late.

Unaware of his mistake, the god continued talking. 'The trip was Tony's idea. He's discovered that, shockingly, taking away the kid's toys doesn't prevent him from getting into trouble. To his and my astonishment, it seems that the trick is to talk with the teenager instead of telling him off. Huh, who would've thought? It seemed suspiciously easy, but then Tony and I thought about our teenage years and maybe it's true. So they are going to pretend they enjoy their pretend fishing and talk about the boy's plans. While it's nice to have him here, there are some challenges. Like having to act and look decent and making sure Thor doesn't share his Asgardian beer with him. That oaf thinks Tony's sort-of son is old enough for his first alcohol poisoning.'

Do you recognise the intern? Get in touch using [email protected]

Top comments:

Fries Yeah, I figured that already. Pls don't reveal this kid's identity. He is, as the name suggests, just a kid.

Vertical Fire Omg, my husband is the same. It's been five months since we had to stop using the downstairs toilet bc he knows how to fix it but still hasn't.

ModżajtoMood Thor, stay away from the spiderkid, we don't want him to have the same problem as his father figure.

Chapter Text

Thor joins Youtube, eats a whole chicken

By CHOP STICK for FOODIE NEWS ONLINE

It's been almost a week since Loki's Youtube channel was deleted. He's been avoiding social media altogether since he revealed the truth about Tony's Stark intern. It wasn't the biggest secret, as many suspected that Spider-Man had some connection to Iron Man. It seems Tony Stark is rather cross with his boyfriend and took away all of his electronics.

The only Asgardian able to share his life on Youtube is now Thor. He has joined the popular site this week and uploaded his first video titled: 'Chicken mukbang my first video Thor'. Unsurprisingly, the god of thunder was seated in front of a whole roast chicken and ate it all during the video, washing it down with Asgardian ale.

Between large bites, Thor reminisced about the food served in Asgard. 'The pot roast was to die for. Sadly, the cook who prepared it so marvellously didn't survive.' Thor had happier memories to share as well. 'Loki and I would steal cookies from the kitchen when we were little... and older. To avoid punishment, we ate in my bedroom. I love cookies. If I go to town on foot to buy them, I burn enough calories to eat sweets without worrying about my shape.'

When Thor was talking about the most bizarre things he has ever eaten, Loki and Tony were heard in the background. Since Spider-Man didn't edit this video, the viewers could hear various forms of the word 'fuck' angrily repeated at least ten times by both men. Thor reminded them he was filming, which prompted another wave of profanities.

When he was alone again, Thor managed to finish his meal and said he was still a bit hungry. 'I know there's some chocolate in Loki's bedroom, he won't mind if I take some. I'm a warrior, I need food, plenty of it.'

Thor finished the video by singing an Asgardian song about his heroic deeds and then asked for his fans to subscribe.

Top comments:

Pałeczki Goodness, a whole chicken. I wish I had his metabolism.

Alejandro Ale jądro I see he's watched some other mukbangs and thought not using napkins is obligatory. Also, the chewing noises, Thor, close your mouth when you chew.

3000 At least someone is having fun in that house,

Chapter Text

I scream, you scream, the young Asgardians also scream for ice cream! Tony Stark babysits the youngest of Thor's subjects

By LAVENDER ROSE for ICY GOSSIP DAILY

It was my third day in Tønsberg, Norway. Between strolls to New Asgard and waiting for something article-worthy to happen, I stumbled into a lovely ice-cream place called Dag's Iskrem. While I was choosing the flavours, I've noticed a bunch of children. My first thought was: 'Oh no, I want to relax, not witness a tantrum.' Then I spotted the adult accompanying them. Tony Stark, dressed down and wearing sunglasses as if that could fool anyone.

To my endless surprise, Tony managed not to lose any of the five little ones, the youngest looked about two. He allowed each kid to have two scoops of ice cream and a drink of their choice. It became obvious it was the first time those children stepped outside New Asgard and had no idea what the ice cream flavours were. At first, Tony patiently answered their endless questions but eventually told them brown ice cream is mud-flavoured and red one is meat-flavoured, which only sparked their interest.

They sat down near me and I could hardly focus on my food. Tony ordered coffee for himself and seemed surprisingly cool about the situation that would make others nervous. He had five little Asgardians under his care and judging from his relaxed demeanour, it wasn't the first time he was looking after them. He kept a close eye on them and reminded the less focused ones to keep licking their ice cream before it melted. The kids looked at him adoringly and their affection was something more than gratefulness for the sweet treat. Even when one child announced he needed to use the loo Tony remained calm and turned into into a game, all six went to 'explore the secret room'. Once that was over, they finished their milkshakes and left. Since Tony has only two hands, the Asgardians had to share by holding his fingers and a handful of his shirt.

Once they left, I spoke to the manager. I learnt that it was the third time Tony came there that day, with three separate groups of children. 'They are very well-behaved,' the managed noted, 'or maybe Tony Stark is a great babysitter.'

I fully expected to witness something scandalous in New Asgard and instead, I saw this cute scene. I took only one photo when they were leaving so you too can see how much those children love Tony Stark.

Top comments:

Wolf That's so sweet. But also suspicious. I'm stressed out when I take my two kids out, how on earth is he so chill with so many strange children? Unless one of them is his and Loki's. You can't learn this shit up so quickly, he must have practised in secret with his secret child.

Cindy Lovely. Those youngsters need something nice after what they 've been through. Glad Tony stepped up. Odd that Loki let him go alone, he must be very trusting or doesn't know this would encourage women to hit on Tony.

Tea I love it. Now I want mud ice cream.

Chapter Text

Does Loki know? Tony Stark on a date with a mysterious stranger

By CARP KARPPI for FISHY NEWS

It's been a while since Loki and Tony Stark were seen together in public. Perhaps the reason is that they are no longer a couple.

Tony Stark was seen last Friday with a black-haired woman. He was wearing dark leather pants and a sweater as he packed on the PDAs with his new love interest during a romantic lunch date in Oslo.

He recently returned from a trip to the US, which he took without Loki.

Now back in his adopted home of Norway, Tony Stark enjoyed a romantic lunch date at a pizza restaurant in Oslo on Friday.

The handsy couple used the occasion to pack on the PDAs with a healthy dose of some hand-holding and kissing. Even when Tony accidentally stepped on his lady friend's long green dress, the mood wasn't ruined and they only laughed about it.

The couple arrived at the front of the restaurant holding hands and their chemistry on full display. On more than one occasion, they stopped briefly, stared into each other's eyes, and locked lips for a passionate kiss or two.

Do you recognise the woman? E-mail us at sth_ [email protected]

Top comments:

Birb but what about Loki? Is that an open relationship or are we all in danger bc Tony can't keep it in his pants?

Jane June I don't know, this seems odd. I mean, what can you expect from a playboy, but I thought he and Loki were fine, after all it's bc if him that Tony moved out of America

Sheep I don't envy the people of new Asgard, imagine the row this article will cause. Ear plugs will be the absolute minimum. Maybe also a fire extinguisher.

Chapter Text

I have many ideas for this fic but I am also suicidal and I don't think I can take it anymore. If I won't update by December, feel free to take over this fic. I'll leave my password here before I go.