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The six are sitting in the bus, the red light from the sky shining through the windows.
It’s oddly quiet, the silence is awkward but nobody dares to break it.
Ashlyn is sitting in one of the seats, head in her hands. Ben is on his phone, writing and deleting drafts of something he wants to say. Tyler has an arm wrapped around Taylor, who’s looking off to the side awkwardly. Logan’s in the back, contributing to the silence but visibly concerned.
Aiden is standing in the center of them all.
Just a moment ago, an argument broke out, mostly between Ashlyn and Aiden. Ashlyn pointed out weird behaviors Aiden was presenting.
In the real world, he was quieter than usual, started gifting his things away. In the phantom dimension he was careless and didn’t tend to his injuries.
And when the four words came out, “Are you planning something?” He had no response.
He knew they wouldn’t leave him alone when they shifted back.
“Why?” Something eventually came out of the speakers from Ben’s phone.
Aiden didn’t have an answer for that either. Or at least, not a short one.
“… It’s.. not simple.”
That’s all he could get out. He wasn’t necessarily lying.
And it got quiet again. God, Aiden hated when it got quiet.
Then, they shifted.
Aiden was back in his bed. He felt horrible, having the others figure out in that way. His limbs ached, and his head pounded.
He started to have second thoughts.
As expected, his phone rang. Taylor was the first to call, that was expected, soon followed Tyler, probably influenced by his sister. Ashlyn did too, but all three calls he ignored. He just didn’t know what to say.
Messages came after, notably none from Ben. He’d make a guess that Ben would just come see him himself. He just turned his phone on silent and laid back down.
Eventually, a knock was at his door.
Aiden didn’t bother to get up, Ben opened it after a second of no answer. Then, he approached his bed and sat down.
He typed for a second, “I called you out of school. Do you want to go out to get something?”
Aiden hugged a pillow tightly, silent for a while.
“Ice cream?”
… That did sound good. Aiden looked up at Ben.
Ben nodded and typed one more thing, “Get ready, we’re going to get Ice cream. Just the two of us, unless you want someone else too.”
Aiden sat up, rubbed his eyes, and shook his head.
Aiden got dressed into something comfortable and went downstairs, meeting up with Ben, who smiled when he saw Aiden was still there.
Ben typed, “I already told the others. Don’t worry.”
Aiden nodded, and the two left.
The drive was quiet, but they got their ice cream and went to a nearby park.
The two sat on a bench, eating their ice cream. It did make Aiden feel a little bit better, but it felt like a band-aid on a bullet wound.
The sweetness and the calming breeze felt nice. His chest still ached, the thought of his eventual death still plaguing his thoughts.
He didn’t have a specific date planned, but it was clear his actions were definitely leading up to it.
He didn’t really care when it was, maybe one day he’ll have one small trigger and just blow his shit off.
He didn’t care who he’d leave behind. His parents aren’t the best, he felt his ‘friends’ found him annoying, and…
He only really cared about Ben. He was the only one he truly didn’t want to leave.
He looked over at Ben, who apparently had been staring at him the whole time.
Ben typed something, “You haven’t smiled in days.”
Aiden looked away and nodded.
Ben’s frown furthered, “I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be… I’m okay.”
Drops of vanilla Ice Cream run from the cone onto his hand. Irritating.
They finish their Ice cream and get in the car. Before starting to drive, Ben types one more thing, “The others want to meet for lunch. Do you want to?”
He didn’t. “Yeah, sure.”
He wasn’t sure why he lied. He wanted to go home and sleep.
Ben nodded, and they headed to a restaurant.
When they made it there, the others were also. So, they just sat down.
It was awkward. Aiden hated it.
“Are you okay?” Taylor was the first to speak.
No. “Yeah…”
Why did he keep lying? Why couldn’t he just say the truth? He knew they didn’t believe him anyways.
“You know we care about you, right?” Ashlyn asked, fidgeting.
Aiden didn’t believe that. He just wanted to be home now. He’s tired. He nodded.
The lights were just a little too bright, he had a headache, “How are you guys?”
There were quiet mumbles and mutters of “fine”, and a “worried” from Taylor, a quiet “scared” from Logan.
Of course, and it was his fault too. They were worried about him. They were scared for him. All because he had a plan he wasn’t entirely sure he was going to follow through on anyways.
They weren’t helping.
And it went silent. The crowd was just a little too loud. His heartbeat a little too fast.
His vision started to blur. He excused himself and made his way to the bathroom.
Fuck. His body shook, and his breaths were shaky. He made his way over and gripped the sink tightly, looking up at himself in the mirror.
He saw how he actually looked. The bags under his eyes, eyes red and puffy. He looked terrible.
He backed up to the wall and fell down it, shoving his head in his arms.
His body shook, tears formed in his eyes again, breath quickening.
‘Nonono… stop crying.. sstop crying…..’ He quietly whispered to himself, wiping his eyes.
His vision blurred, almost getting dark around the edges. His ears started ringing, and.. was someone here..?
Someone knelt down in front of him. Who was it? They were saying something, why couldn’t he hear? It wasn’t Ben, but if he was entirely honest, he was the one he wanted most.
They wrapped their arms around him.
Warm…
He hugged back. His vision started to come back. Brown hair… It was Tyler.
Aiden hugged him tight, sobbing. And Tyler just silently held him.
He stayed there until the sobs quieted down.
“… Are you okay?” Tyler finally asked.
Aiden nodded. He thinks this time it’s at least half-genuine.
“Do you want to go back to the others?” Tyler pulled away, wiping tears from Aiden’s face, a worried expression on his face.
Aiden nodded. Tyler stood up, pulling Aiden up as well. He held Aiden’s hand, squeezing it slightly as the two made their way to the table.
They made it to the table. Nobody asked, they could’ve guessed based on how Aiden looked. Ben stayed especially close to him for the rest of the meal.
…
8 pm.
They made it home and Aiden immediately collapsed onto his bed.
He was so tired. Everything hurt. He just wanted to…..
An idea.
He set a timer. Seven minutes.
Seven minutes.
He wrote a note, apologizing for and explaining everything he could.
Six minutes.
He went into his notes app and wrote goodbye messages for everyone, including his parents.
Five minutes.
He collected whatever medication he could quickly grab that wasn’t nearly empty from the bathroom.
Four minutes.
He went to Ben and gave him a hug, telling him he loved him.
Three minutes.
He locked the door and opened his phone. Started to copy the messages from his notes app.
Two minutes.
He sent the messages. Instantly turned his phone on silent and placed it next to him.
One minute.
He swallowed a large handful of whatever medication he had grabbed.
The timer went off.