Archive of Our Own

The car is an old piece of shit. Fitting, given the way that their parents treated him, but disappointing nonetheless. It's funny how even with no expectations he still manages to be disappointed, but being unhappy with his lot in life is inevitable for Fern. Not like Nia, or at least she's a lot better at hiding it than he is.

Nia manages to hide everything, though, so Fern isn't surprised by that. Even if she's… opening up, lately. It's made her almost unrecognizable. Maybe earlier, Fern wouldn't have known whether he likes it or not. Now, as much as it hurts to admit it, he's glad Nia's this way. As far as he can tell, unrecognizable means happy. Which doesn't say great things about her past, if Fern thinks about it. He supposes he's unrecognizable now, as well. Maybe some of his old friends would've said that about him, if he'd had friends in the past.

To be fair, a few people know him now. It's better than nothing, unlike the stupid car he's working on. This is just the latest in a long line of stupid ideas he's had. Fixing the car. Maybe fixing isn't the right word, exactly, given that it still, technically, runs, so: refurbishing the car. That sounds better. Classier, though no one would accuse Fern of being classy, even now, other than maybe the occasional challenger he gives tips to. He gloats about it to Victoria sometimes, for old times' sake. She rolls her eyes at him for the same reason.

Nia's voice cuts through his thoughts. "I presume that you invited me here to assist you in your current endeavors?"

Fern unbends. His lower back is sore from crouching this entire time. He thinks there might be grease in his hair, but he doesn't dare to check, given that his hands are incredibly greasy. "Not exactly." He thinks about telling Nia to come back a little bit later, when he's a bit more presentable, but who cares? Nia's seen him a lot worse than this. "Hop in." He opens the passenger side's door, trying not to turn his nose up at the smell of bleach that wafts out. Or laugh; that would be worse. 

Nia regards the car with a healthy dose of suspicion. Her expression doesn't change much, but Fern's learned to recognize the slight tilt of her head and the narrowing of her eyes. Fair enough. "I was not under the impression that this vehicle was roadworthy."

Fern shrugs. "The engine works, the wheels spin. What more do you want out of a car?"

"Fern." Nia gives him her disapproving look, knitted eyebrows and all. He's seen this one about a million times before, and he sighs because she has a pretty good point right now. "What, precisely, do you plan to accomplish with this?"

Fern scratches his head. "I was planning a road trip. Thought this would be fun." Maybe Cain is rubbing off on him. He's tried to get serious after his promotion to gym leader, but this feels distinctly silly. Either way, he gestures back, holding his thumb over his shoulder to point at the car. "You game?"

Nia frowns. "Why?"

It's weird to hear her speak so simply, even now. For a long time, Fern had thought that Titania had beaten that out of her. Unbidden, he touches a finger to his scar, as if to remind himself that it's still there, and even though it's more of a thin white line than anything now it still feels like it's red and livid on his face sometimes. 

He shakes his head to clear it, and grimaces. Telling Nia about this would force him to open up like she had, and that's not something he likes doing, even after his first visit to the Neoteric Isle had forced him to confront the realities of being himself. Sometimes he wonders why he'd decided to set his gym up there, and he has to remind himself that it's because the place is fucking awesome even if he got turned to stone once there.

But. Opening up. He has to do it at some point. If it's made Nia happier, then maybe it'll make him happier.

"We barely get to hang out anymore," Fern finally answers. "I mean, with me in the New World half the time, and you doing OTS administration stuff. I think we need some time for sibling bonding." Inwardly, he shrinks. Just a few years ago he would've found that statement to be unbearably cringeworthy, but now he's made his bed and he might as well lie in it.

Regardless of how Fern feels about it, Nia softens. "I suppose that your idea has merit." Coming from her, that's high praise, and Fern fights the urge to smile. But then she continues. "However, did you have to select this… old hunk of junk for this exercise?"

Fern's eyebrows shoot into his hairline. He brings them back down slowly, massaging his forehead. Yep, now there's grease in his hair indeed. "Sorry, did you just say 'old hunk of junk?'"

Nia blushes. "Julie is of the opinion that using additional colloqualisms will be beneficial to my ability to bond with others."

"Right, well." Fern looks over his shoulder. "It's a work in progress."

"A work in progress," Nia repeats. The end of her sentence drops down the way it does when she's deadpanning incredulity. At least, Fern thinks that's what she's doing, but he has to doubt himself, because what if he can't read his sister as well as he thinks? Then she shrugs. "Sure. Why not?"

It's so unlike her that this time Fern's jaw drops while his eyebrows ascend. Nia looks at him strangely, and he gets the feeling that she's trying to suppress a laugh. She's unnervingly good at it, which makes sense, given that she's had a lot of practice. But then she passes by him and drops into the passenger seat, wrinkling her nose at the smell Fern had tried to ignore. "I suppose you have made the requisite preparations for this?"

"...Wait," Fern finally says when he gets his jaw to close properly. "I didn't think that you were going to actually be down for this. I thought you'd argue, and then I'd try and cajole you, and you'd protest, and we'd go on for weeks until you finally agreed."

"I apologize for disrupting your plans." There's not a hint of irony in Nia's voice, which means that she's probably holding her sides with laughter. "In any case, Julie is also of the opinion that practicing spontaneity is worthwhile. She offered to cover for me in case an opportunity arose."

"You mean you're trusting Julia Wilde to take over for you?" Fern blinks. "By which I mean the same Julia Wilde who encouraged trainers to blow up parts of her own power plant?" Arceus, Nia is unrecognizable. Needless to say, he likes this version of her better. "Why not, I guess, huh?"

"Precisely."

"Okay, well, I asked Victoria for two weeks leave already, so that's taken care of." He opens the trunk, going over inventory. "We should have enough for snacks, I think, but clothes–"

"Victoria granted you leave? I had anticipated that she would be more resistant to the idea, given your history, and you would have approached Adrienn instead."

Fern looks over. "Nah, she's too dutiful to deny me the PTO that she came up with for league staff. That being said, she did tell me that she hoped you'd give me a hard time." On second thought, maybe repeating that part of what Victoria said to Nia might've been a bad idea.

Nia hums. Finally, she nods. "I will make sure to heed her wishes."

"Come on, Nia," Fern groans. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, hiding his smile. "Okay, for clothes–"

"This trip will only be a few days at most, correct? In that case, packing clothes should be trivial. I will await your return, at which point I would like to visit my residence to gather my own belongings."

"We're really doing this, huh?" Fern had expected Nia to say no, to say that it was irresponsible, but– Nia is unrecognizable, right? He supposes this makes sense; he should've had more faith in her, and Nia shrugs. Fern hasn't seen her do that in ages, he thinks.

He wonders how much of that is because he hasn't seen much of her at all in ages. So much time together lost to Nia's emotional reclusiveness and his own inability to see that she still cared about him, right until he'd managed to drive her away. 

Fern doesn't offer up a plan; he doesn't feel the need to, and Nia doesn't ask, and so the first day on the road is spent drifting aimlessly. Spontaneity. Such a strange concept to endorse, but it's working.

To be honest, Fern likes it better this way as well. Being a gym leader means too much structure. Being in Team Meteor…

Being in Team Meteor is something that he doesn't talk about, to anyone, even though it is and always will be looming over him. He's tried to scrub it from his mind as much as possible, but even on his best days he can't forget about Fiore Mansion; he can't forget about how he'd taken advantage of Nia's friendships and then left her to die. Too much structure, indeed; with all the organizational hierarchy to deal with, it had been all too easy to see himself as merely another cog in the machine, as if he hadn't committed atrocities all of his own accord.

He grips the wheel tight as the car sputters to a stop. They're just out of Reborn City, a few hours in, and Nia watches him quietly as he unlocks the doors.

"Been to Tanzan Cove before?" Fern asks.

"Not for years," Nia says. "Tania mentioned it a few times… I recall she found the Sapphire Bracelets here."

Right, because Belrose Manse had burned down, because of his old comrades. Fern winces. Sirius had gloated about it privately; at the time, even Fern had been more than a little freaked out. They'd put so many people through so much pain– the Belroses, Titania, Amaria even– for some bracelets.

"Well, I'm not going through the mountain, because I don't know if Saphira is home, and she doesn't like me very much."

That gets a chuckle out of Nia. "I struggle to imagine why she might have a distaste for you."

Fern glares at her. "Hey, you don't have to actually follow Victoria's instructions, you know? Anyway, I just realized there's not much more on this side of the region, other than Spinel Town and Chrysolia Forest, so I guess we have to head back soon. Sorry."

Nia shrugs. "There is no need to apologize. I thought that the purpose of this outing was to spend time together. Taking detours is only conducive to that plan."

"Yeah. Right." Fern sighs.

"Is something amiss?"

"Huh?" Fern scratches his head. "I mean, no, not really. I'm just…"

Relieved that Nia isn't yelling at him like his parents always would? She's right about spending time together, she's right that detours aren't harmful, she's right that his mistake isn't even really a mistake. But his mistakes that didn't matter were still always punished just as severely as the ones that did. 

Of course, Nia didn't make mistakes. It's why she made leader first, why she's the Head Instructor of OTS, why she wasn't punished all the time for every little sin. It's why she'd never gotten angry at anything; she'd only ever been disappointed, and that was so much worse. Fern had resented her so much for being perfect, just because he hadn't realized that she was anything but, so in the end they were just two emotionally stunted people forced together until they blew each other apart.

Or until he blew her apart, really. She hadn't done anything nearly as bad to him as he had to her.

"I'm just relieved that you don't mind," Fern says. It feels like vulnerability.

They drive through Route 1 and the checkpoint to Agate City well into the night, and by the time they get to a place to park Fern is dead tired and ready to fall asleep at the wheel, so he does. "Don't wake me up," he mumbles to Nia.

"I could never," is the last thing Fern hears before he falls asleep. 

When he wakes up, he doesn't remember any dreams. Nia is gently snoring in the passenger seat. He used to tease her about that, he thinks. Sleep was the one time she was louder than he was. This time, he doesn't wake her, either; he just grabs some of the snacks in the trunk.

He eats outside of the car so that he doesn't make too much noise, but a few moments later the car door on the other side opens anyway. "Hey," Fern calls. He's leaning back on the trunk, one elbow resting on the smooth metal. "Sleep well?"

"Adequately," Nia says. She looks out at the city. "Sometimes I wish we had grown up here instead of Reborn. It's nice. Peaceful."

Fern shudders. "Then I would've had to deal with Hardy before OTS. Hard pass."

"Surely you and Hardy have squashed whatever enmity existed between you previously by now?" Nia asks, furrowing her brow. 

"Well, kind of. We're not best friends." In all honesty, that was probably an understatement. Hardy's fine, but Fern thinks there's always going to be built up resentment, with how he'd treated Aya in the past, and with how Titania had treated Nia, and with how they'd treated each other.

But he doesn't need to unload all of that on Nia. She'd never asked for any part in his beef. 

"You make an interesting point, regardless," Nia muses. "I would have undoubtedly encountered Tania earlier if we had lived here. I wonder how that would've changed the trajectory of our friendship."

Fern scowls. "She wasn't good for you, Nia."

"No," Nia concedes. "But she was still my friend."

Fern doesn't know what to say to that. Before Victory Road, he would've said something cruel. He would've told her that she didn't have any real friends, that she was a robot, but now it all feels so stupid. Had he really done all that once? For what? To push Nia away on purpose?

So he just wraps his arm around Nia's shoulders instead. She sighs. "Nevertheless, Agate is pleasant."

"Yeah," Fern says. "Do you want to grab breakfast here before we go?"

"Okay," Nia says.

Breakfast goes quickly, and they're back on the road. Or at least, Fern had thought that they'd be back on the road, but Nia wants to visit Agate Circus while they're here, and why the hell not? He wins a Clefairy doll at one of the Carnival games while Nia laments the lack of grass-type pokemon they're giving out as prizes. 

Fern's alright with that. He likes his team fine enough as it is. He supposes Nia might want to study more grass-types academically, though, so it's a bit unfortunate. He buys her a cotton candy as a consolation prize, and she seems to like that well enough. It's a bit comical: his sister, one of the brightest minds in Reborn, eating cotton candy like a kid, but Fern's grown enough both to admit that Nia's brilliant and that she deserves a break from having to be brilliant.

"How's the food?" Fern asks. "I heard they have some kind of cake here that Slurpuff make or something." Blake had told him that; it was probably the one time they hadn't been at each other's throats. 

"Mm. Good." Nia says, her mouth full. She swallows, then wipes her mouth. "Perhaps we should locate this cake you're discussing?"

Ten minutes later, they're sitting at one of the tables with funnel cake. It's surprisingly good. Maybe Blake had known what he was talking about for once. 

"I was thinking," Nia begins, "while we're here already, I would like to visit Amy again. I haven't seen her for a while, and I want to check up on her."

Fern scratches his head. "I don't think she'd want to see me."

Nia tilts hers. "May I ask why?"

"I mean, I kinda got her house blown up. It seems pretty self-explanatory."

"Fern." Nia reaches across the table to put her hand on his arm. "I promise that Amy will not be unhappy to see you."

Fern casts his gaze away. "How can you know that?"

"Because I know her," Nia answers. "I trusted you when you asked me to go on this trip with you without a plan. Please trust me now."

Fern looks back, nods, swallows. "Okay."

Route 2 is a pretty annoying hike, but Fern's done it a couple times already with Nia, so it's familiar. There's something missing this time, though, and it's his old annoyance at having to visit Nia's friends with her. Instead of annoyance, now it's a sense of impending doom, regardless of what Nia says about Amaria.

When they get to the stairs of Fiore Mansion, Fern waits for Nia to knock. From inside, someone shouts that they're coming, and half a minute later the door opens.

"Rini?" Amaria asks. "You didn't tell me you were coming! Come in, come in! And– hi, Fern! How are you?"

Fern looks vaguely in her direction and bobs his head up and down. "Good, thanks." He follows Nia as she steps into the living room. It looks a lot better than the last time he saw it.

"So, what are you guys doing here?" Amaria asks.

"Fern and I have decided to go on a road trip," Nia answers. "We were just at Agate Circus, so it seemed only natural to indulge in a quick detour to visit you."

Amaria smiles. "Thanks, Rini. How have you been doing?"

"Well, thank you." Nia looks over to Fern. "I have been enjoying the company."

"...Yeah," Fern says. "Me too." 

"It's great you came over, actually," Amaria says. "It's feeling a bit empty in here, so I was thinking about getting some plants, and I could definitely use your help."

"Of course," Nia says. "Fern?"

"Uh. I don't know how helpful I'll be." Fern scratches his neck. "I'm not as into botany as Nia is, I just battle."

"That's alright! It's fine if things don't work out perfectly. I can try again." Amaria hums. It strikes Fern that he's heard Nia do the same thing, so many times, and he wonders if Nia had learned it from Amaria or the other way around. "But that's for later. Do you guys want anything to eat? Drink? You must be hungry after coming from Route 2, right?"

Huh. Fern is hungry. He hadn't thought that the funnel cake would've gone down so quickly. He's a little afraid to ask, though. Amaria would be well within her rights to deny him any further hospitality.

Luckily for him, Nia does it first. "If you have anything easy to prepare, that would be agreeable. I don't mean to impose."

Amaria nods. "I should have something in the fridge. Hold on, I'll check…"

Amaria brings back some waffles and milk for the two of them, and Fern gladly takes his. The waffles have some kind of strawberry filling. It's nice.

Nia and Amaria end up reminiscing over old times, before everything. Before they fractured apart. Fern hasn't seen Nia laugh so much in forever, he thinks, and he wonders now how he could've ever begrudged Nia her trips to visit her friends.

Eventually, though, Nia excuses herself to use the bathroom, leaving Fern alone with Amaria. He stays quiet, not knowing what to say.

"So," Amaria starts, "how about you, Fern? How's life?"

"Fine." Fern grimaces. That was way too terse. "I mean, I'm glad I get to hang out with Nia again. With the way our schedules are now and everything– but we did kind of just drop everything to go on this trip, so. You know."

Amaria laughs. "Yeah, I get it." She settles into a soft silence as well.

But it's not long until Fern can't hold it in any longer. "How are you so okay with this?"

Amaria tilts her head. "Okay with what?"

"With me being here. I mean, last time I was here, this place got wrecked, because of me."

"Because of Tania, actually," Amaria says, smiling. "But yeah, I know what you mean. It's just– I talk to Rini, right? She said that I should give you another chance, and I figured if anyone knew what she was talking about it was Rini. I won't lie, it was a hard sell, given how you were before–"

"Gee, thanks." Though Fern can hardly be upset at that, and there's no real malice in his words.

"– but I'm glad I listened to her," Amaria finishes. "Besides, it's not like she's the only person who told me that. Vero said the same thing, and so did Victoria."

"Victoria told me that she hoped Nia, and I quote, 'really fucked with me' on this trip."

"I would say that's well deserved." Amaria laughs again, her eyes twinkling. "But seriously, Fern, you aren't the only person who's done things you regret. Arceus knows I've done horrible things in my time. If we judged everyone by their worst moments, then I don't know if any of us would be fit to sweep the floor."

"Yeah, but you did good things too. I was just a dick."

"Not exactly." Amaria frowns. "Rini told me about her birthday, and the shoes you got back for her– she said she still has them, I think?" 

"Oh, god," Fern says. "That story is embarrassing. I thought she'd still wear the shoes after they were soaked in mud and half-ripped apart."

"I don't think it's embarrassing at all. So what if she couldn't wear them? It was sweet of you, and she'd rather have that than the shoes." Amaria moves over to the couch from her chair to sit next to him. "I know our past is rocky, but I think we can still be friends."

This hadn't gone how he'd expected at all, but Fern's not complaining. "Sure. I'd be glad to."

"Great!" Amaria stretches her feet onto the coffee table in front of the couch. "So, what are you up to lately? Any new developments in the Neoteric Isle?" 

"You know how it is with the league. Not a whole lot of challengers, but there are a few tough ones every now and then."

Amaria nods. "I heard you've been gunning for champion."

"Yeah. Sorry." Fern grins.

"Sorry? I'm sorry for you. You're getting your ass kicked." 

"Hey, have a little faith in me, okay?"

"I do! I have a little faith in you. I have a lot more faith in Vero, though." Amaria winks. 

Nia chooses that moment to come back. She glances at Fern and Amaria, sitting together on the couch, and sits on Fern's other side. "Thank you for having us, Amy," she says. 

"Anytime. Oh, and if you need a place to crash for tonight, feel free to stay here. Vero isn't home, so…"

Fern thinks about saying no, that they should hit the road again. But then he reconsiders. He doesn't really have a destination, does he? It's not like he has to make time on anything. So–

He shrugs. "Why not?"

It's a long drive up through Calcenon and Labradorra to finally make it to Victory Road, and they have to ditch the car for a bit in the city before. Fern has no intention of visiting Charous Hall right now; he's content to just sit at the mountain's mouth.

Victory Road feels so long ago. He's not proud of what happened inside. 

Nia examines the gray stone all around them. "Sometimes I forget about how fascinating this place is, geographically. The gemstones do not appear to be fully natural."

"Yeah," Fern says, absentmindedly.

"Is something amiss?"

"What? Oh." Fern shakes his head. "No. I mean. Kind of."

"What is bothering you?" 

"Just thinking about some of the shit that happened here, I guess." At the time, his biggest gripe had been that he hadn't made it to Charous Hall himself, and for all his efforts he'd only gotten a scar. He fingers it again now. 

In hindsight, the scar had been the least of his problems. Charous Hall wasn't meant for him then, and it isn't meant for him now. But in the future? Who knows? Fern only wishes that he hadn't been part of nearly destroying the region.

"I understand that some of the events that occurred here are disturbing, but I look back upon them fondly," Nia says.

Fern cocks an eyebrow. "Fondly? Why?"

"They caused you to leave Team Meteor. They allowed us to be siblings again. That was worth– more than anything to me." Nia's voice cracks a little, and Fern stares, because Nia has always been nothing if not precise. She doesn't stutter or stumble, except for just now.

And she's right. If not for Victory Road, Fern might have stayed an asshole forever. But he doesn't have to like how much the path to change hurts.

"I'm just glad that we don't have to worry about the world ending this time," Fern says.

Nia smiles. "It is pleasant, is it not? Perhaps we should walk through once more, for old times' sake."

"No thanks. If you want old times' sake, we can do that right here. Like: no way, Flobot."

"Alright, grasshole," Nia fires back. 

Fern guffaws. "Okay, that was good. I didn't expect you to have that in you."

"Do not underestimate me, then." Nia's smile widens, then she softens. "But regardless. Fern. I am glad to be your friend once more."

"I know. I am too." Fern sighs. "It's just– hard to be normal sometimes, you know?"

"I understand your struggle," Nia says. "And how do you feel about it? Do you feel normal these days? Sometimes I am not sure that I do."

Fern looks back at her, grins, chuckles. "It's a work in progress."