Work Text:
. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁ ⟡ ܁ . ⊹ ₊ ܁.
The dynamics in relationships are pretty set in stone from the beginning.
The first “hello.”
The first time that eyes meet.
The sparks that hit peoples veins when two souls connect.
Even before most people are aware.
It’s usually there for the confession, the actually courting.
Before the full realization of feelings.
Even before the butterflies start to erupt.
Dynamics are sometimes obvious- sometimes they are quite surprising, like the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover.” However, by many people’s standards the dynamics in Minho’s and Jisung’s relationship was pretty set in stone. Jisung outright being the anxious, but loud and more ditz type, the man who would practically vibrate out of his skin. Sometimes out of nerves of excitement- often times out of anxious ones. Which, obviously meant he needed someone, needed Minho, to keep him afloat, to ground him.
Minho was more reserved, quiet, more of an observer over anything. He knew how to stay calm even in situations that he had the right to yell and act out. He was more often than not so sure of himself, he carried his confidence in ways that most people grew jealous over. By many people’s standards and terms Jisung was the pouty golden retriever and Minho was his sly black cat. Often times it was said Jisung felt too much while Minho didn’t seem like he felt at all. Everyone said it. The members, the fans, even those who hardly knew anything about Stray Kids.
Jisung was always more sensitive and emotional. That never changed even in the years of being an idol, that was just his nature, however with the help of those he grew comfortable around he was able to find balance in it all. Learning to grow within his own skin. Minho, however, over the first years after debuting became even more closed off if anyone could believe it. It was unfortunate really, seeing the spark leave his eyes.
All because of a man.
. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁ ⟡ ܁ . ⊹ ₊ ܁.
Jisung still remembers, often dreams, of how open and heartwarming Minho was during their beginning debut days, how the soft side of him came out more often. How the soft side somehow was softer, fonder when he was around Jisung. How it seemed like every time they made eye contact, there was always something on the tip of Minho’s tongue, wanting to wither its way out, but the older still had his reigns on whatever it was.
Now thinking about it, Jisung was blind.
He remembers the way Minho held him. The way his own heart would start to palpitate crazily when the older would graze his finger tips gentle through his hair or along his back. How it felt as though the man was leaving behind lingering constellations on his skin.
He also remembers the shift. The slow, growing distance that grew between the two.
He remembers when Minho met that man who hurt him so cruelly.
He was older, from one of the senior groups. Everyone always said how charming he was, how kind he was. Jisung remembers the first time he saw the newly found love interest, he swallowed the lump in his throat, the jealousy that seeped into his blood. Jisung was nothing compared to the man in front of him. Jisung- the shy, outspoken, insecure boy was nothing compared to this goddess of a man who whisked Minho- just as, no, even more angelic looking- off his feet.
He was supposed to be someone who guided Minho. Who protected, who loved the boy. Give him his all in the same way Minho so clearly did.
Jisung’s heart would clench every time he saw them together.
He remembers when Minho stopped holding him close.
Jisung remembers when he found out everything his hyung was being put through. The yelling… the bruises being left both physically and emotionally behind with every waking day. The one emotion that was evident was pure rage when he saw his hyung being mistreated. The taste of hatred for him never left JIsung’s tongue, sometimes he wondered if it ever would. That man broke the wall Minho had up and took everything. He twisted Minho’s heart up so hard, it was like he crawled into the olders mind and rearranged everything, he was the first person to make Minho question his worth. His ability. His success. Him.
Minho was the one who broke it off.
He claimed he wasn’t sad about it, which only confused Jisung when the older had shut himself away. More so, shut Jisung out.
No matter what had happened, even when the distance grew, Minho had never taken to fully throwing Jisung to the side.
Jisung hadn’t seen or spoken to Minho for three weeks. With every hour that passed he couldn’t help but grow even more worried. He didn’t show up to practice, claiming to be sick. That made Jisung sick. Minho never missed practice, even on the days where he was sick and exhausted. The only time any of the members could recall him skipping practice was when his cats were sick.
But nonetheless, Jisung waited, waited for any waking sign of life. He would always wait for Minho- so he did. Jisung still remembers the lonely, isolated, hurt that he felt for three long, painful, weeks.
What really hurt wasn’t even Minho shutting him out, but more so the fact that there was nothing Jisung could do to mend any of Minho’s pain. To fix whatever was wrong.
He tried to reach out of course, even if the other members told him not to his anxious mind couldn’t stand not trying. So he tried, but he knew how far to push, he knew if he overstepped that line Minho may never come back to him. That thought alone was enough for Jisung to hold back his anxious spiraling, at least from voicing it out loud.
So he waited. Any tell tale sign.
. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁ ⟡ ܁ . ⊹ ₊ ܁.
You see, the thing is… Jisung is blind.
Not literally , but he might as well be with how many things he tends to not pay attention to.
Jisung has always had love for Minho, he himself, along with basically anyone who had two working eyes, always knew it was more than just a friend.
But at the time he was young and dumb, chalking it up to Minho just finding comft within Jisung on a best friend level. As if the raven haired boy could ever love someone as plain as Jisung. He didn’t realize how dumb he was until Minho was at his doorstep.
There was a hesitant knock, Jisung initially thought it was one of the members coming to bother him but as soon as he opened his door, the cold night air entering his once warm apartment. But when he opened it he was met with... nothing. Well, until he looked down and there, in the flesh, right in front of his very eyes was the man who disappeared from his life weeks prior.
Minho was there, shaking- from the cold of from sadness, Jisung wasn't sure- crouched within himself crying. He looked so vulnerable, saw raw and broken. It looked like the poor boy himself thought if he wasn’t holding himself together that he would wash away with every tear that dropped.
When Minho cried it hurt even those who weren’t close to him. He just had that effect. Jisung had dropped to his knees to meet Minho, the pain would show in bruises on his knees later but in the moment he couldn’t care less, he had his sweet boy in front of him again, more importantly he was in pain.
His? Could he even call him that? ‘That was selfish’, Jisung thought.
However, he decided to choose selfishness in that moment. He wrapped the older up in his own arms cradling him so tight there was hardly any gaps for air, whispering reassurance with every breath, hands roaming softly over his back and through his hair. Just as Minho had done for him so many times before. Jisung was trying so hard to keep his head straight, to be strong. And then all of that effort flew away in the wind when the man spoke one word, one word that came out so broken.
“H-hannie..”
It was so pained. It pained Jisung’s heart.
“Min, jagi, I’m here.”
He only held the sobbing boy closer. The sobs slowly subsided, the racks of his body slowly calmed. “Come inside yeah?” He tried, until suddenly Jisung’s eyes were met with Minho’s scowl, “Jagi? What’s wrong?”
Minho slouched his head down to the youngers shoulder, his hands clenched into Jisung’s hoodie. “God- you’re.. you’re so…” Minho paused, hesitating as if his mind couldn’t fully form the correct sentence, “you’re so frustrating Jisung.”
Jisung opened his mouth but suddenly any word, any language, vanished. The younger had been called a lot, but being called frustrating? By the one person he never thought he could frustrate, that was a new type of ache in his heart.
“Why can’t you see… I never wanted him.. but- but you didn’t, you don’t, want me so I had to find some way to distract myself… and now look- somehow someone I didn’t even care about made me question my worth..”
“Min.. what are you-“ but the elder was quicker than Jisung ever could be.
“I wanted it to be you.”
As quickly as those very words left his mouth, Jisung’s world turned on its axis. His hands promptly stopped the soothing actions on Minho’s body, his own seizing. Tense and suddenly writhing with anxiety.
“Wha-“ Jisung was quickly cut off once again.
“It’s okay Hannie… really I don’t know why I’m here, I shouldn’t have come.” It was a word vomit beginning without any warning.
“I tried- I tried so hard to shut you out, get you out of my mind. But you just- you’re in everything I see. Hell, I saw a squirrel on my way over here and started bawling on the spot.. you’ve ruined me don’t you see, Hannie? Utterly ruined me.”
Jisung wasn’t entirely sure he was breathing at all anymore, his mouth opened, shut and then opened once more just for nothing to come out.
“I’ve come to terms with you not reciprocating, I’ll get over it I promise. I won’t make it hard for you. I’ll always be your hyung.”
Minho hadn’t once looked at Jisung during his tangent, it hardly even seemed like he took a breath. He pulled back, aggressively wiping at his eyes before re-clenching his fists into the younger’s hoodie. Resting his head once more on his shoulder, breathing in as if Jisung was his only source of oxygen. “I’ll let you go Han-ah, I’ll be back to norm-“
Jisung was not about to lose Minho again, not after just getting him back, no, he couldn’t.
It was Jisung’s turn to cut off the elder now.
“Hyung.” His voice was steady despite his body practically shaking. At this Minho finally unclenched his fists, raising his head from the shoulder it rested on, however his eyes still didn’t meet Jisung’s.
With a gentle- shaky but nonetheless gentle touch, his chin was raised and their eyes met. Jisung was looking into Minho’s bloodshot eyes and all he saw were a million stars. Somehow the stars he saw gave him all the answers he needed, he knew he needed to say this now.
He couldn’t let his mind win. Not anymore.
“I love you hyung.”
He heard the elders breathing stall just for a beat as his eyes widened. The stars he saw so clearly before now sparkling like a million fireflies.
“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, couldn’t you tell? When you got with him… I lost you, you stopped holding me.. you stopped looking at me like I was the only answer. So, I swallowed my heart. But, you deserve to know how loved you are hyung.” Jisung stopped to take a breath.
“You are my person in every and any situation or universe. Whatever bad thoughts he spewed to you, they were- are lies.”
It seemed like Minho was debating his next words. He was hesitant, worrying into his bottom, already cracked lip, but Jisung only rubbed soft shapes into his back patiently. He would wait an eternity if it meant being there for his person.
Minho took a deep breathe, fisting once again at his hoodie, then ever so softly- almost not even there, “He knew I didn't want him. He never wanted me for anything more than my body and when I didn't give it to him.. He told me I was unlovable.. I had- I told him about us, about you.. he said you would never love someone like me… He said I was ugly. That I was a mere after thought to those around me, a visual hole who couldn't give more than my looks. I started drowning within myself and it felt like no one was there to save me..”
Jisung’s heart cracked at the fact that the other had told his ex boyfriend about his feelings. How blind was he?
“My Minho, jagi, I am here. Now and always, I will always be here to save you.”
Tears pooled in the man’s eyes, “You mean that? Even when I try to shut down…” His voiced cracked but he didn’t try and hide it.
“I was here waiting for you wasn’t I?” A small, fond smile placed on Jisung’s lips.
This made the older smile which in turn made the youngers heart swell. “Yeah, yeah Sung-ah you were.”
“I’ll catch you even if you decide one day you don’t want me anymore… especially then.” It was true, Jisung knew that. He picked his chin up once again, needing to make eye contact, to make sure Minho heard these next words he meant with whole being.
“You are someone worth saving, hyung.” He spoke before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. Thoroughly clearing any thoughts eating at Minho’s mind.
"You are so, so much more than the words- the lies, that he spewed at you. Min, you are an angel, breathtaking... Quite literally, the first time I saw you I forgot how to breathe.. I couldn't stand how beautiful you are. You're so annoying hyung, you know that don't you?" There was no real bite to this but it erupted a shy laugh from the older, but Jisung didn't stop there, "You are gorgeous, kind, warm, and over all you are mine."
Jisung paused briefly, pulling back only to dive back in and litter gentle kisses across his face, whispering sweet nothings with every press.
At that the tears fell, but this time Minho didn’t feel like he was giving up his heart. Minho would remember how it felt like suddenly he was back to himself. How the boy he loved so dearly would relight his dimmed flame over and over. How each and every wound that was splattered on his heart and soul were being licked clean by Jisung’s words and presence alone.
"Can I... Sung can you please kiss me..?"
Jisung felt as though all of his teenage dreams, ones which he thought were merely that- dreams, were coming true. He didn't hesitate before saying, "I would gladly kiss you a million times, jagi."
With that, their lips met, perfectly fitting. Sparks flying around them.
When they parted Minho looked starstruck, like his life goals had been completed. A deep crimson blush falling onto his ears running down his neck.
"Min? What is it?"
"I've never been... that was my first kiss.." He uttered shyly.
"What?!" Jisung exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell me! I would have made it special, not on the entry floor of my apartment!"
Minho let out a high pitched laugh, Jisung couldn't hold back the smile threatening to appear.
"Minho, this isn't funny!" Jisung pointed a not so threatening fist in Minho's direction, knowing there was no real threat behind it.
The older stopped giggling, calming himself before looking at Jisung dead in the eyes making the younger swallow thickly.
"Can we kiss again? Please?"
It was Jisung's turn to blush, "I will kiss you all night if that is what you want my baby. But first, let's go lie down hmm? Can't have my boyfriend catching a cold."
Jisung pulled Minho up onto his feet bringing him into the warmth of his apartment, intertwining their hands, shutting the cold night out behind them.
Minho tightened his grip slightly. "Boyfriend..? Ji... please can you.."
Jisung stopped, turning to look at Minho, "Oh did you not..?"
"Say it again." Minho blushed, refusing to make eye contact once more.
The younger stepped closer, letting go of the older's hand and cradling his face in between his hands.
"My boyfriend, let's go get warm and cozy so I can kiss you until you turn red permanently."
And so that is exactly what they did. Jisung kissed every ounce of worry and doubt that he could reach out of Minho's mind.
Minho would return to practice after resting in his newly found boyfriends arms for days on end. Practically burrowing his way into Jisung's skin, not that the latter had any complaints.
Minho was back, slowly but surely with every day that passed. Jisung would protect the tender boy until his time ran out, that was a vow he wouldn't dare to break.
Jisung quickly decided then and there, that night, that he would never let Minho fall on his own again, he would catch him in every life, even if they had parted- Jisung knew he would find his way back home to Minho, and Minho knew Jisung was his home.
. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁ ⟡ ܁ . ⊹ ₊ ܁.
Now, years later, Minho and Jisung were both still deeply in love. If not more than ever. To the outsiders, their dynamic was still the same. But Jisung knew, he got to see the soft side of his lover. He took pride in knowing that he could be Minho’s rock when he couldn’t be his own. He got to see the soft, slightly anxious side of the older that he tried to hide away from others.
So here they lay, intertwined into each others limbs. They were watching a new animated film one of them added to their list, Jisung being the anxious thinker he was could practically hear Minho’s silent thoughts spinning in the his mind.
“Min?”
Silence.
“Hyung?”
Nothing.
“My jagi?”
Maybe it was selfish, using the slightly possessive pet name he knew affected Minho so much but he got a hum in response, at least it was something.
“What’s going on in that pretty mind jagi?”
He heard the hitch of Minho’s breath. He felt the tensing of the muscles. He heard and felt the deep breath the other took in preparation of spilling his thoughts.
“Why do you love me..” He all but whispered.
“Can you repeat that Min? I want to make sure I heard you.” JIsung did in fact hear him, perfectly at that. He heard every word clearly, but the fact that he knew that broke his heart.
“Why do you love me..?” He repeated louder now.
“Min, baby, look at me.”
There was a pause but he lifted his head nonetheless and once again Jisung swore he saw stars in the olders eyes.
“There are an infinite amount of reasons I love you, it’s not chalked up to just once sole reason. I love you because you’re you Min. You’re so perfect even in the ways you think aren’t.” Jisung could tell Minho was trying to process the words being said to him.
“I love you because you let me catch you even when it’s scary.”
“I love you Jisung. I love you so so much it’s scary.”
“I know jagi.”
With that, Minho rested his head back onto Jisung’s chest, seemingly relaxing.
“Hyung,” Jisung started, “you are someone worth saving. I will save you in any situation. I will be here waiting to catch you when you fall. Always.”
He placed a deep kiss on Minho’s temple. One in the center of his forehead just like he had that night so many years ago, easily clearing and all remaining thoughts. He placed gentle kissing full of love all over his lovers face until the latter melted into a puddle of goo and all that he could let out were giggles. High pitched and honest- the ones that always made Jisung’s heart flutter, fondness flooding through his veins.
“You’re worthy of being loved. I will always show you that.”
And it was true. Jisung was Minho’s someone. The one he would give up everything to save. Minho would forever be Jisung’s to save. And without fail Jisung would always catch him.
Minho had claimed Jisung ruined him, but the truth was it went both ways.
The two boys were so infatuated with each other that the truth was, they were completely and utterly ruined for anyone who crossed their paths.
Maybe that’s what they were destined for, and maybe it was selfish but neither of them had any complaints.
. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁ ⟡ ܁ . ⊹ ₊ ܁.