Archive of Our Own

Jaemin sits on the couch, watching in amusement as his friends battle it out on the TV. In the lull of their busy schedules, they had finally found time to hang out once again at their designated spot, the third years' apartment. Chenle had also graciously brought over his Switch, declaring that it would help liven up their hangout and also "strengthen their bond."

"Who used the squid!?"

"I can't see anything!"

"Stay away from me!"

Jaemin flinches when he hears someone shriek.

One of those statements was true at least.

He grabs another chip from their opened bag as he watches each player reach the finish line. The race ends with an enthusiastic "Finished!" sound and text flashing on the screen, contrasting the miserable groans from three of his friends. Jaemin finds himself looking over at Jeno, giggling as he watches him pose and smile triumphantly. From his peripheral, he sees the other three either glare at Jeno or at the screen.

"Jaemin, please switch with Jeno!" Chenle whines.

Someone laughs at the statement as he clicks his tongue in response. As much as Jaemin loved playing games, he also sucked at them—not like it bothered him. He always found more enjoyment in messing around than putting in effort into trying to be good. "You guys only want me because I'm bad at the game!"

"Duh! I'd rather have an actual chance at winning than keep playing with him!" Donghyuck points accusingly at Jeno, who doesn't retaliate except for sticking his tongue out.

Cute.

"I want to win too," Jisung quietly pleads before yelping as Donghyuck throws his arm across his shoulders.

"Not on my watch!"

"Hyuck, you didn't even place second," Renjun points out as he nods to the screen. Jaemin finds himself cackling when he turns to look.

"You placed last!" He says while wheezing at the revelation.

Hyuck glares at Renjun then Jaemin as the rest of them laugh. "Like you could do better!"

"Eh, not my type."

Hyuck groans in frustration. "You say that about every game!"

Jaemin childishly plugs his ears before making a mocking face at Donghyuck. Mark has to intervene as he keeps his arm out to push the latter away, preventing him from trying to jump Jaemin. The others laugh at the two's usual childish antics.

"Actually, there's a game I've been curious about," Chenle loudly quips. "Let's do that instead of Jeno winning for the billionth time."

"Hey!" said man exclaims. When Chenle sees the others respond in agreement, he claps his hands excitedly.

"Okay, now whose laptop is this?" Their gazes turn to where Chenle points, a lone laptop atop the coffee table. Jaemin feels himself internally wilt when he recognizes the cat sticker that he had just placed yesterday.

"Jaemin's," Jeno replies with a lilt in his voice, earning him a glare from Jaemin.

"Okay! Jaemin, we'll use your laptop. I think you'll like it anyway."

Chenle is already opening his laptop before he can make any complaints. He could refuse, but he also knew that there was no stopping the other unless he wanted minutes of whining. He's particularly intrigued anyways when Chenle said he'd like the game. He sighs in defeat before moving down to the floor to input his password.

"What game are you even talking about?" Mark asks as they watch Jaemin's laptop slowly boot up.

"Oh, it's just the Sims." Everyone makes a sound of recognition at the mention of the title. In the back of his mind, Jaemin vaguely recalls playing an older and more pixelated version of it when he was younger.

"Ah, so you think Nana will like it because he was obsessed with Stardew," Donghyuck realizes.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at the comment. Stardew was definitely one of his favorites, but that doesn't mean he would like every simulation game out there.

He's about to retort when he feels something solid rest on his shoulder. He slightly turns his head to see what it was but is quick to return to its original position upon realizing it was Jeno—his chin hooked over the younger's shoulder. He internally scolds himself to calm down, trying to reason that he should be used to the skinship they've developed as friends (best friends, his brain dubiously adds). He hopes that the other doesn't hear his loud heartbeat or feel his tense muscles.

"Alright, whose sim are we doing first?"

They had spent the rest of their time together creating a sim for each one of them. Making one was already difficult enough so multiplying that by seven was a nightmare in itself—especially when there were seven brains and voices trying to give their input. By the time they had finally finished making Jisung, three hours had passed, and their apartment's visitors were itching to go home.

To ensure that their hardwork would not go to waste, they had deemed Jaemin as the "overseer" of their Sims. They emphasized his duty to ensure their well-being and that he had to give them updates every now and then. All he could do in response was sigh and nod in acceptance of his newfound responsibility. It was not like he could do anything about it when the damn game was on his laptop in the first place.

He gave himself 1 day at most before he'd completely forget about the game. His hectic life wouldn't have room for it, he thought. On his third night, he reasoned that he was finding a way to pass time. On the fourth, he accepts that he's invested.

Every time there was a break in Jaemin's schedule, he found himself booting up the Sims and opening the small world of the tiny versions of themselves. Micromanaging and seeing the tiny versions of him and his friends had somehow captured him as it momentarily took him away from the stresses and responsibilities of the real world. Jaemin doesn't know if he wants to thank Chenle or not for suggesting the game in the first place.

The real problem, however, appears on the fifth night of playing.

He's in the middle of trying to figure out what job to give mini Chenle when he notices in the corner of his eye that his sim was in a flirty mood. It's nothing new; perks (or cons?) of it having the romantic trait that his friends declared he must have. He pays no more than a second to it as he focuses back on sim Chenle.

When he finally exits out of the career menu after settling on making him a chef, he belatedly notices that there are two sims with a pink background. It's then he makes a second and more terrifying realization—the other sim was Jeno's.

"No, no, no, no, no."

He instantly clicks on his sim's profile, taking him to where it was. He finds it with a ridiculous look on its face and moving animatedly as it talks to mini Jeno. When Jaemin hovers the cursor over Jeno's sim, he almost shrieks in horror and pauses the time in-game.

Below the halfway filled green bar signifying the two virtual characters' friendship, there was a pink bar that was half of the former, this time signifying their romantic relationship.

"Since when!?" Jaemin quietly exclaims to himself.

Before he goes into a full-blown panic, he reasons to himself that it was the nature of his sim. Maybe it wasn't just with the mini Jeno. He'll look through the other sims and find more of those cursed pink bars with mini Jaemin, let relief wash over him, and once again escape the reality of his feelings even if it leaves a bitter aftertaste.

He's proven wrong, however, when he looks through the other relationships it had and finds no other pink bar in sight. In a last ditch effort, he exits the game and boots it up again, hoping that it was some glitch that would disappear once he restarts his game. It proves to be futile when he hovers over Jeno's character, and the pink bar is still there.

He stares blankly at the screen as he tries to come to terms with his new revelation. If this were anyone but Jeno, he was 100% sure he would laugh it off and go as far as joke about it with his friends. It really wasn't supposed to be a big deal.

Sure, it felt like the universe was mocking him for having his very real feelings captured between his and his real life crush's virtual selves, but Jaemin can't do anything about that. He already knew he was doomed the moment he had accepted the existence of said feelings. This was just one of a million cruel reminders the world has given him.

He reasons to himself that he was just shocked; his emotions are getting the better of him. He can just make their sims fight to help with decreasing the bar even if he dislikes the idea. There's also that cheat from the list that he had searched up at the request of Chenle in the beginning of their playthrough if that fails.

As he clicks on Jeno's sim and is about to make mini Jaemin argue with him, he finds himself hesitating. Would it be so bad if they were together?

The moment of hesitation is all he needs to have his third, final, and most horrific realization of the night. He doesn't want to stop them. Jeno may never reciprocate his feelings, but maybe he can live vicariously through their mini selves. Was there really any harm in that?

The more he thinks about it, the more pathetic and desperate he sounds. A voice at the back of his mind says that this might even be borderline depravity—he quickly tries to shake these thoughts off. He tries to comfort himself repeatedly that this wasn't of his own choice and that it was the program's fault. He just wants to see how the game will play it out.

He stares at two paused sims, conflict raging within him, before ultimately letting his inner demons win. Jaemin drags his hands down his face, accepting the situation he was in. He presses play on the sims and watches the two sims continue flirting with one another. Surely there was no harm in letting one Jaemin live his dream.

u free?

about to be

10 mins

until when?

i have lab at 2

y

lunch?

sure

ok otw

i'll wait for u outside

oki

By the time the clock strikes 12 and his professor lets them go, Jaemin already has his bag slung over his shoulder and is heading straight for the door.

"Not eating with us, Jaemin?" A voice asks.

Jaemin turns briefly to his friend, shaking his head in response and raising his hand as a goodbye. The other nods, waving to him before turning back to their group of friends.

Once Jaemin reaches the exit, he starts to look around, trying to spot a particular black-haired boy. After a couple of seconds of scanning, he finally spots Jeno standing to the side.

At that moment, Jaemin stops himself from walking over as he observes the other. Jeno has a hand in his jacket while the other scrolls through his phone, a cool yet also cozy air surrounding him. He can't help but admire the other's side profile too, the perfect balance of sharp and soft. Ancient Greek sculptors would have yearned to make statues in his honor.

Taking his chance, Jaemin pulls out his phone and swipes to his camera to start taking pictures. He's in the middle of readjusting the angle when the other finally looks back, his eyes looking straight at the camera.

A smile grows on Jaemin's face as the older scrunches his nose once he realizes what the younger was doing. He's about to exit the app until he sees the other start shifting his face into a variety of facial expressions and even posing. Jaemin laughs as he quickly tries to take a snap of each one of them.

When Jeno lingers on his signature crescent smile, Jaemin takes one last picture before putting away his phone and finally walking towards the other.

"Send them to me."

"No thanks. My copyright." Jaemin grins when the other grumbles at his response. "Where are we eating?" He asks afterwards.

"I was kind of craving some rice, but I don't really have a place in mind," Jeno says as he puts his earphone case into his pocket.

Jaemin nods, mulling over where to eat while taking into account the other's request. "How about that beef bowl chain two blocks away?"

Jeno lights up at the suggestion and frantically nods. Jaemin coos at the reaction and makes motions to pinch Jeno's cheeks. "My samoyed is so cute."

He laughs as the other gives him a deadpan look before turning away to start walking. Jaemin catches up quickly, both falling into rhythm soon after.

When Jaemin asks about his day, Jeno goes off on a rant about one of his professors for his minor courses. Jaemin nods along to Jeno's rants the whole way there, occasionally giving his own reactions and comments.

"I can't wait to pour everything into his eval," Jeno conclusively says as he holds the door open to their destination as Jaemin giggles at the other's determined tone.

Once they stand in front of the menu board, Jaemin scans through it despite knowing for a fact that he would order the same thing he gets whenever he comes here.

"You getting your usual?" Jeno asks, earning a 'yep' in response. "I'll order."

Jaemin nods. "I'll take a seat. Give me your bag."

He receives a small thanks from the other as he's handed his bag before walking towards an empty table.

After a few minutes of scrolling through his phone, Jaemin sees movement in his peripheral vision, causing him to look up. His eyes meet Jeno as he sits down, the corner of the latter's lips slightly turning up when their eyes make contact.

"Anyways, how about you? How are things?"

Jaemin scoffs before replying. "Same as ever. But I'll probably die in two weeks."

Jeno raises his eyebrow at that, a silent inquiry into what he meant. Jaemin opens his phone and swipes to his calendar. He feels himself internally wince when he's greeted by a myriad of colors, all clumped up together in the last few weeks before their mid-semester break. When he turns his screen to show Jeno, he notices the other's lips form an 'o' and squint his eyes as if cringing at the sight.

"That looks…"

"Right?" Jaemin sighs as he turns his phone back to himself. "Nothing I can do about it though," he says trying to play it off.

Jaemin was by no means a top student. He wasn't some genius that could quickly understand a lesson and teach it like the back of his hand. He didn't have photographic memory and couldn't memorize things in a blink of an eye. He also wasn't a studious student that managed his time wisely. He had no edge in the academic world. At least, he always tried—he internally winces at the attempt to comfort himself.

He's thankful that his parents didn't put any pressure on him because the weight he puts on himself was definitely more than enough. He's been trying to ignore it but seeing what's awaiting him further down the road has been giving him a lot of anxiety.

"Hey." He feels something flick his forehead, making him quietly yelp and quickly look up. He glares at Jeno who was staring at him back with a serious look on his face. "You got this. You're an academic weapon—" Jaemin playfully rolls his eyes at the words used—"and you're gonna be fine," Jeno continues while boring his eyes into the other.

"Really? Academic weapon? I don't think—"

"Say it," Jeno firmly interrupts. "You're an academic weapon, and you're gonna be fine."

They lock eyes with each other, neither wanting to back down and waiting to see who would yield first. When Jaemin thinks a whole minute passes and Jeno doesn't show any sign of wavering, he lets out a sigh. Jeno raises his eyebrows as if signalling Jaemin to continue.

"I'm an academic weapon, and I'm gonna be fine."

As much as he hates the choice of words, its silliness does make the corners of his lips upturn. He can't help but feel his heart flutter at the other's attempt to encourage him. It gets worse when Jeno's eyes disappear as they turn into crescents as he flashes a smile at Jaemin.

Something blooms in his chest at the sight of the other's joy. He's always taken pride in moments like this. He loves seeing Jeno radiate with happiness, but it's a completely different feeling when it's because of him. But there's an ache in it too. It's as if everything growing in his chest decided to twist and tangle themselves with one another, ensuring that he doesn't forget the weight these feelings truly bore. He shouldn't even have these feelings in the first place. In Jeno's eyes, Jaemin is only his closest friend after all. Jaemin has no right to ask for more; he has to be content with what he can get.

He's snapped out of his spiral when Jeno speaks up again. He lets out a hum to indicate to the other to repeat his question. However, once the other asks, he wishes he had just pretended not to hear anything in the first place.

"By the way, how are the Sims?" Jaemin grimaces at the question, making the other stifle his laughter. "Is it that bad?"

No, not really. It's just that our sims started flirting with each other, and I haven't really done anything to stop it from happening. Is that bad? Is that weird? Would you hate me if you found out?

Jaemin shakes his head in lieu of voicing his immediate thoughts. "I hate to admit it, but I'm actually having fun."

Jaemin's on his desk once again, laptop in front of him and his notebooks pushed to the side. He's been trying to study for his upcoming exams, but the stress from the load made him feel like he was about to lose his mind. He just needed a breather, opting to open the Sims.

It's been a few weeks since mini Jeno and Jaemin started flirting with each other. Jaemin hasn't actually voluntarily done anything to increase their romantic bond. It flabbergasts him that whenever he'd check in, the pink bar was growing more and more every time he checked it. Jaemin was surprised that they haven't gotten together themselves. He was planning to change that today though.

After bidding his time by focusing on the other sims (such as making Mark cook, making Renjun and Donghyuck play chess), he finally decides to put his plan in motion. First, he needs to locate his targets. He finds sim Jaemin in its room, focused on finishing his freelance job on the laptop placed in the room. He then searches for mini Jeno, finding him on the couch, watching something on the TV with sim Jisung beside him. Jaemin lets out a quick huff as he psyches himself up to put his stupid plan in motion.

He makes his tiny self stand up from his desk and redirects it to where Jeno is. Once it gets there, sim Jeno also stands up from his couch, foregoing the make belief show it was watching. Jaemin stalls by making them do more small talk, choosing all the friendly options he could find.

He eventually runs out of options and stares at the screen for a moment, watching the two sims stand idly. He lets out a sigh in defeat before finally hovering over the Confess option on tiny Jeno.

This is so stupid, one of his internal voices chastise as he clicks on the button. He doesn't understand why he was so worried. It's like he was a middle schooler getting embarrassed over their first crush. (Maybe having a crush on his friend from middle school counts though.)

Jaemin holds his breath as the scene on his screen unfolds. He watches as mini him speaks in an unintelligible language, presumably pouring out all of its feelings to Jeno. When no more sounds come from it, the scene feels like it pauses. Both Jaemins hold their breath as they watch mini Jeno process the information.

A few more seconds pass, and then suddenly, sim Jeno makes an exaggerated hand movement that startles mini Jaemin. It's hard to miss the overexcited tone of its voice however.

Jaemin finds himself quietly squealing when he sees the two sims hug one another. At the action, he immediately looks at the top right of the screen, awaiting the notification to get confirmation.

"Jeno and Jaemin are dating!"

He excitedly claps his hands together, delighted over accomplishing his mission. He looks back at the tiny sims, mirroring their giggles as he also takes note of the exuberant pink backgrounds behind their profiles.

He watches the sims continue chatting with one another for a moment before deciding that he could stop playing and call it a day. That is until he moves his head to the side and once again sees his notebook and papers scattered around. He sighs, closing the game to finally get back to studying.

He slowly deflates as he reopens his tabs of books and slides. Although playing the game had done its job to alleviate his mood and stress, it obviously didn't make all his uniwork disappear.

As more time passes, the high he felt from the game slowly dissipates. He closes his eyes before pressing his palms to his temples, hoping to relax himself. Once a few seconds pass, he lets out a deep sigh before burying himself back into his studies.

Jaemin slowly rubs his eye in a futile attempt to alleviate the burning sensation behind his eyes. He feels his heart sink upon checking the time on the corner of his laptop. 03:34 AM. He was only halfway through the last lesson with six more pages to go, and his exam was at 9:00 AM.

He lets out a shaky sigh before burying his face in his hands. Sleepless nights weren't new to Jaemin, but the heaviness in his muscles and the lightheadedness were always unwelcome. At the very least, the adrenaline was enough to keep him powered through the day.

When he finishes a paragraph and the dull ache in his head tries to make itself known again, he gives himself a few minutes to breathe. He tries to psyche himself up in the process as he tries to repeat a mantra in his head.

I'm an academic weapon. I'm gonna be fine.

I'm an academic weapon. I'm gonna be fine.

I'm an academic weapon. I'm—

Two soft knocks interrupt his thoughts. He turns to the door, staring at it to confirm if he heard right or if he had finally started hallucinating. A moment later, a second series of knocks come before a voice speaks up from the other side. "Jaemin?"

Through the exhaustion, his heart—that traitor—still manages to skip a beat.

"Jeno?"

"Can I come in?"

In his tired state, he initially nods before remembering that the other can't see him. "Yeah."

The door slowly opens and reveals Jeno, squinting due to the bright lights in his room. Jaemin takes note of the other's messy hair hidden underneath a hood. He's wearing his usual black hoodie, and although Jaemin has seen this exact look of Jeno's multiple times, he can't help himself from always wanting to melt at the sight.

"Still studying?" Jeno asks.

Jaemin nods in response before asking back, "How 'bout you?"

Jeno scratches the back of his neck with a sheepish look on his face. "Playing."

Jaemin nods in understanding. Out of everyone in his friend group, he was the only one who had an exam left before their mid-semester break. He couldn't help but envy them. They had the luxury of being able to stay up and still get sufficient amounts of sleep while he was pretty sure he was one hour away from smashing his head into the wall.

"I went to get some water, and I saw that your lights were still on," Jeno continues. The other stares at him for a moment, his face softening the slightest bit (or maybe it was Jaemin's sleep-deprived brain deluding himself into seeing things he wants to see). "Do you want me to get you anything?"

Jaemin doesn't know if he wants to throw up from the lack of sleep or the butterflies in his stomach. He puts his fingers to his chin as he thinks of a response before ultimately shaking his head. "Thanks for asking though."

"It's no problem," Jeno softly says.

They continue staring at each other for a moment, neither making any sound. Jeno even tilts his head at one point, and if Jaemin were more alert, he'd see the slight furrow of the other's eyebrows. However, the younger's head was preoccupied with the need to study, so when another minute passes, Jaemin decides that he has to resume.

"I'll go back to studying then. Good night, Jen."

Jaemin has already completely turned his chair when he finishes his sentence. He's about to start reading where he left off until he suddenly feels a weight from behind him. Arms then wrap around his shoulder, followed by a chin atop his head. He's worried that the amount of palpitations he has is gonna end with him keeling over. Despite the confusion, he notes that his tense muscles had already relaxed at the deep pressure.

"What are you doing?" Jaemin whispers.

"You should rest."

Jaemin frowns. "I can't."

Jeno's grip on him slightly tightens at the response. He stays quiet, but Jaemin can't find it in himself to go back to studying while he's being embraced. In fact, he finds himself slowly melting further into the other.

"How far are you?" Jeno asks in a hushed tone.

"Well, I've read everything," Jaemin sighs. "But I'm six pages away from actually being done. Then I have to quickly go through it."

Once Jaemin finishes his statement, Jeno unwraps his arms from around him to his dismay. His sorrow is quickly replaced with pain as the other pinches his cheek, effectively popping the bubble.

"Ow!"

"There, you're more awake now," Jeno proudly says as he sits on the edge of Jaemin's bed and grabs the papers on his table.

"Jeno!" Jaemin tries to reach for his papers, but Jeno reacts quickly by moving it away.

"Let me help."

Jaemin pauses his struggle as they stare each other for the nth time that night. The irritation that was about to rise within him quickly dissipates as it's replaced by confusion. He quirks an eyebrow at the other as he watches him go through his stapled papers.

"Where should we start?"

Jaemin gives him a puzzled expression, no idea as to what the other is planning. "What are you doing?"

A small smile forms on the other's face. "Since you've already read through it, I'll ask you some questions," Jeno says. "To help with remembering."

Jaemin's mouth opens agape. He tries to say something, but he ultimately doesn't know what to do. He knows that he would benefit from the help, but he could definitely go through it on his own. Plus, he didn't want to force Jeno to stay up with him.

"You don't need to, it's already so late," Jaemin softly points out.

"I want to. I don't mind staying up with you." Jaemin's heart wants to leap out of his chest at the other's choice of words. "Let me help," Jeno continues. The determined tone in his voice persists, but it's also as if he's pleading with him while looking at Jaemin in concern. His heart can't help itself from tightening at the softness in his eyes.

"Okay."

And so, time passes. Jaemin kept stumbling—inevitable due to the lack of sleep and all the information jammed into his brain. With each mistake he made, however, Jeno was there to help him. He'd try giving him some cues to help remember and would gently correct him if needed. They never lingered on one thing for too long due to time constraints, but Jeno had kept encouraging him. Jeno mimicked the sounds of the bell and cheered whenever Jaemin would get something right, the latter unable to contain his giggle at the former’s antics. This was probably the happiest he has been in the past week. It's nearing 5 AM when they finish.

"That's everything, right? You can just go through it again when you wake up if you want to," Jeno says.

"Yup. I think I'll do that if I have some spare time." Jeno nods in approval of the other's plan.

"Now, you—" Jeno pulls Jaemin up from his chair and guides him to his bed. Jaemin can do nothing but follow in exhaustion. He gently makes him sit down on the bed and looks at him with a small smile on his face. "—should get some sleep, Jaem."

Jaemin smiles at the other's instructions before nodding.

"Don't forget to set your alarms."

"Yes, mom."

Jeno deadpans him a look before both of them burst into laughter. Not only did the weight on his shoulders become lighter, but his heart feels so much fuller too.

"I'll go now, then. Goodnight, Jaem."

It's when Jeno moves towards the door that Jaemin realizes he can't let him go just yet. "Wait." His hand flies to grasp Jeno's to stop him from leaving. There's a startled look on Jeno's face as he looks back at him. "Thank you so much, Jeno." There's a heavier weight to his words. It wasn't just to thank Jeno for helping him with his exam. It was to thank Jeno for always being there for him throughout the years. Whether it be going along with his stupid plans or something as serious as being his strongest pillar to lean on, Jeno had persisted as a constant in his life.

He realizes that he may have sounded utterly lovesick just by the tone and volume of his voice, but he finds that he couldn't care any less— it was more important to express his gratitude to the other, maybe even love.

He feels Jeno squeeze his hand while his face softens with a small smile. "You're always welcome, Jaem. "

They stare at each other for a moment longer before Jaemin slowly unwraps his fingers around the other's despite his desire not to. Jeno continues his walk towards the door, and as he's about to leave, he turns back again to him and makes a small wave. "Sleep tight."

Jaemin smiles before waving back. "Goodnight."

When the door closes softly, Jaemin falls back down on his bed. His heart feels like it's going at a hundred kilometers per second while his stomach feels like a butterfly farm has just broken loose. He tries to squash his giddiness down, reminding himself that he has to wake up again for his exam soon. To spare his future self some energy, he finally closes his eyes and doesn't have to wait long for sleep to come take him. He dully thinks that this is the first time he's ever fallen asleep with a smile on his face the night before an exam.

Despite his lack of sleep, he also finds himself walking into the exam room with a stupid grin on his face for the first time. People question his demeanor for a second, but they pay him no mind as they dive back in to their last minute reviews. They don't need to know anyways. The answer to that question will only stay between him and his coffee-filled thermos, a sticky note attached with a handwritten "Good luck (.◜◡◝)"

Seven glasses clink against each other, voices all going up a tone in excitement before chugging their drinks. They were at a restaurant that Chenle wanted to try out. The night after Jaemin finished his exam and caught up with some needed sleep, they all eagerly got together for an outing outside of their apartments. Jaemin relaxes into his seat after he feels his drink go down his throat, watching the others as they do something similar.

The peace is broken when Hyuck slams his cup down on the table, catching everyone's attention. "Does anyone have some interesting drama?" Jaemin chuckles as Hyuck grimaces in response when the others shake their heads.

After a minute passes, however, he sees Jisung immediately light up as if remembering something. "Jeno has one," he says.

Everyone whips their head towards the mentioned man, his eyes instantly going wide. "What?"

There's a wicked grin on Jisung's face. "Who were you with in the library the other day?"

The five of them alternate their gaze between the two as Jisung quirks his eyebrows while Jeno furrows his. "What about…" They watch the silent exchange between the two for a few moments longer until realization finally dawns on the latter's face. "You're misunderstanding!"

Jeno has a scandalous look on his face as Jisung looks at him in amusement. Jaemin can't help but watch the interaction intently, a pit in his stomach slowly forming. He tells himself to keep his mouth shut.

"Oh? Then why were they getting so close to you?"

Somewhere from the table, he hears Mark choke on his drink, Chenle having to pat him on the back as he keeps his wide eyes on the other two. Jaemin tries to stifle his growing dread.

Jeno groans at the other's statement. "I have no idea why, but they're just a groupmate. Nothing is going on."

Jaemin was ready to release the breath he's holding when Jisung cuts in. "Oh yeah? Then what was that letter they gave you?"

Jeno's mouth opens agape. "You saw that?" The reaction itself triggers a series of reactions from their friends. Jaemin has to force out a small laugh to keep suspicion off of himself. Jeno sighs. "Well— Okay— Yeah, it was a confession."

"What did you say!?"

"Let him finish!" Renjun chastises Chenle. This causes not only the latter but everyone else too to keep their mouths shut as they look at Jeno.

"I… rejected him," Jeno says. The reactions between their friends vary between sighs and groans—Jaemin's being the only one out of relief. From his peripheral, he sees Mark about to speak up but stops when they notice Jeno take a big gulp and purse his lips. Jaemin realizes he's not in the clear yet. "Because I already like someone else."

It's as if everyone at the table stops breathing at the confession. All eyes stuck on Jeno, whose own eyes are cast downwards as he tries to avoid their gazes.

What?

"And you never told us!?"

"Who is it!?"

"Is it someone we know? Someone from your program?"

Multiple voices erupt from the table in shock at the new revelation. It's only then that the words finally sink in. Jaemin feels his shoulder tense, breath caught in his chest, and his fingers flex around nothing. More questions bombard Jeno, but Jaemin pays no mind to any of them as he tries to compose himself. The voices around him feel so far away as he tries to hold his heart together. The working part of his brain tells him that he needs to say something. He doesn't want to look suspicious. Through the fog in his head, he manages to find his voice and ask a single question. "Have you confessed?"

"No," Jeno answers before looking up at him, a sad smile on his face. "I don't think I can confess…"

More questions and protests arise from the statement, but Jaemin decides to spare himself and almost completely tune everything out. His emotions wage a war inside him, his crumbling heart becoming their primary victim. A part of him guiltily feels happy that Jeno hasn't confessed, but it's greatly overpowered by the confirmation that Jeno didn't like him.

It's at that exact moment the waiter brings over their food, the earlier conversation dying down as their stomachs growl at the sight. Jaemin was looking forward to the meal, but he can't seem to fully savor it when his insides are still churning from the earlier discovery. He takes a bite out of his food. He feels more conscious about everything. He's hyperaware of the food that goes down his throat. Every action he takes feels robotic as time slows down.

"Is the food bad, Nana?" He jumps when he hears Mark softly ask from beside him.

He shakes his head in response. "Just trying to figure out the flavors." It's a terribly weak excuse, and he knows the older would be able to pick up on it. Mark must have seen something though as he only nods and goes back to his meal. Jaemin internally tells himself to get it together before focusing back on the food in front of him. If only he had looked up, he would have noticed the lingering stare of a black-haired boy from across the table.

Jaemin tries not to have the revelation consume his entire being the following day. He has barely left his bed, only going out of his room to eat or use the bathroom. Every time there's a lull in his thoughts, his mind seems to play the words Jeno had told them last night—what a cruel thing.

Once he's finished sorting his files, he stares at his laptop to figure out what he can do next. His gaze wanders to a green crystal icon, and after considering it for a moment, Jaemin opens the Sims. It's been a while since he's played it, so he hopes catching up with everything and trying to remember what he last did would help keep his mind off things.

Jaemin faintly smiles when he sees the sims frozen in time at the beginning of a new day. He presses play as he watches tiny Jisung and Mark play chess in the living room as sim Hyuck watches the TV. He moves out to see two other sims, Renjun and Chenle, chatting in the patio they had made. It's when he moves to look at a room that makes his smile drop. The first thing that greets him is his and Jeno's sim that, for some unfathomable reason, are hugging in their bedroom. It's like a sharp arrow pierced through his heart at the cruel sight. He can't believe that he was able to block that from his memory.

No matter how many reminders the universe had given him, he paid no mind and kept pushing on. This, however, might have been the final nail in the coffin. Maybe now, Jaemin will listen. He first watches the two exit the room, off to do whatever sims do, before he ends up quitting the game. He decides that he's done using his laptop for the day before lying back down on his bed.

When Jaemin grabs his phone and turns it on, he wilts once he sees a message on his screen.

u okay?

Tears inexplicably well up in his eyes. He's thankful that the others had chalked it up to him resting due to the stressful week, but Jeno must have picked up on something too. His ever so observant best friend. He doesn't want to respond, but he knows he'll just place more suspicion on himself.

ye dw

just tired

here for u if u need anyth

All Jaemin can do is heart react the message before shutting his phone off.

He pulls his blanket over his head, finally allowing his emotions to devour him today. It's to start mending his heart faster, he tells himself. He needs to get himself together faster. He can't risk having his unreciprocated feelings get in the way of their friendship. If there was one thing he feared more than one-sided love, it was completely losing the other from his life.

Their friends are back in their shared apartment, no Switch in sight this time due to the impromptu visit. They're all in different nooks, off doing their own thing, with Jaemin himself at the dining table. He's busy snacking on some food that he found in the fridge when Renjun calls his attention. "Jaemin, how are the sims?"

"They're fine," he responds with his mouth half-filled with cookies.

"Can we play?" Jisung asks in interest.

Chenle unfortunately notices his hesitance. "Please," he pleads while drawing out the last letter.

A cheer resounds in the apartment as he sighs and nods in response. He goes to his room to grab his laptop and walks back out. He's deciding where to sit when he briefly makes eye contact with Jeno on the couch. He immediately turns his gaze away, electing to sit on the floor and placing his laptop on the coffee table. "I'm playing though. Don't want you guys to mess anything up."

Behind him on the couch, Donghyuck snickers. "Looks like someone got invested."

His friends have started to crowd around him as he boots the game up. 'Oohs' and 'aahs' resound when they take note of what Jaemin had done to the house they initially made.

"Are you using cheats? How'd you get so much money?" Chenle asks incredulously.

Jaemin presses a hand to his chest as he looks at their youngest. "I'm offended that you think I couldn't earn that money all on my own."

"Hey, he fixed that atrocious roof Jisung made," Jeno points out.

They all laugh at the comment as they continue to explore the house before shifting their attention to the sims themselves. Jaemin starts treading lightly, keeping his eyes out for anything incriminating.

Fifteen minutes pass with nothing happening. They decided to stalk sim Mark, all laughing as the real Mark lets out a squeak as the sim goes shirtless to swim in the pool.

Their laughter is interrupted when they suddenly hear a small shout in game. An orange notification at the top right catches Jaemin's eye, making him go wide-eyed.

"A fire has started neaby! Maybe your Sim should put it out before it spreads out of control!"

"A fire!?" Chenle shrieks.

Noises of confusion and concern arise as Jaemin quickly finds it in the kitchen. He looks for the nearest sim, which ends up being mini Jeno, and makes him extinguish the fire.

They watch sim Jeno slowly walk to the kitchen. "Hurry up!" Donghyuck says as if the tiny version of their friend could hear him.

"He's trying!" Jeno defends.

"Can he walk faster then!?" Renjun counters.

In the midst of it, mini Chenle and Mark (who was still shirtless) had arrived just a little after Jeno. Upon seeing the fire, the two immediately raise their hands in shock and start shouting. "What are you two doing!?" Mark squeals.

Jaemin tries to move the other two sims away as the others watch tiny Jeno spray the fire extinguisher. After a few seconds pass, there's a loud 'phew' from one of them when tiny Jeno finally extinguishes the fire. A completely black block sits where the stove used to be. Now that the moment has passed, Jaemin finally lets out the laugh he was holding back, the others following suit.

"Jeno's all tense now," Jisung points out. On the bottom left of the screen, there's an orange background behind a frustrated Jeno, Very Tense written on the side.

"This is what happens when you guys are around," Jaemin jabs. All his friends protest at the comment, causing a grin to grow on his face. "Okay, now let's…" He doesn't finish his sentence as he sees tiny Jaemin walk into the room. He holds his breath as the two sims start talking to one another.

"Aww, Jeno is venting to Jaemin," Chenle coos.

Jaemin lets out a quiet sigh as he confirms Chenle's statement after seeing the action at the bottom left. "Just like in real life," Renjun teases. Jaemins hears someone agree from behind him, but all he manages is a barely there smile.

"It worked," Jeno says to bring their attention back to the game. Jeno's previously Tense state had been reduced to a normal one.

When the two sims stand around doing nothing and he checks that there are no actions lined up in the bottom left, Jaemin finally nods in approval. He even decides to give his own comment to provide some normalcy with the other. "See, it's good to have someone to talk about your feelings with. Even the game—"

"Hey, what're they—"

"—Holy shit!?"

The moment the words leave Donghyuck's mouth, Jaemin had already frantically paused the game. But it's too late. On screen, the sim versions of Jeno and Jaemin are embracing one another and are about to lean in for a kiss. Even more damning, his cursor happened to fall above his sim during his haste, showing the filled up pink bar.

Silence fills their apartment at the revelation. Jaemin is frozen, his hands left floating above his laptop. Panic is about to set in, but he immediately tries to calm himself down. He's ready for this. He's prepared a million scripts in order to play it off. This can just all be water under the bridge if he acts right, he tells himself as he turns to his friends.

All of his thoughts escape him, however, when he sees Jeno's expression. It's like a bucket of ice cold water is poured onto him. Jeno's eyebrows are furrowed deeply, his mouth pulled into a thin line. The longer he takes in the other's expression, the more his chest tightens at the implication. Jaemin's insides churn as if its contents want to escape his body.

Jaemin shuts his laptop with a slam before immediately standing up. It causes his friends to slightly jump, but he could care any less as he moves away from them. He thinks he hears his friends saying some things, but nothing registers to him as his thoughts consume him while he separates himself from the group. He notices Jeno stand, conflict evident in his face. He's hesitating to approach him, Jaemin realizes, and it's enough to crush his heart. He takes a step back in response. When Jeno opens his mouth to say something, Jaemin already fears for the worst. And so, he runs. He runs to the safety of his room, hoping that he'd be able to spare his heart a little longer.

"Jaemin—!"

Jaemin stares blankly at his room after locking the door shut. There's a knot in his chest as shame starts to seep in through his body. A million thoughts are flooding his head with none of them making clear sense and are only there to further his anxiety. He takes a deep breath and lets out a huff to calm himself down before moving towards his bed. He doesn't bother double checking where he puts his laptop as he falls onto his bed.

He stares up at the ceiling. A few seconds later, he ends up pressing his palms onto his eyes. Jaemin desperately wants to ignore the burning sensation creeping up from behind his eyes in order to keep the tears at bay but this whole situation isn't loss to him. Not only was it incredibly embarrassing, but it was also undoubtedly stupid. This could have all been avoided if he hadn't let his feelings get the best of him and let himself indulge in his childish desire.

He's scared— no— terrified that the other will think of him badly as his feelings manifested into something so embarrassing—maybe even repulsive. Worse, the other might potentially even shun him. He truly can't stomach the thought of ruining his friendship with Jeno. All because he couldn't control his damn feelings.

He curls up at the intensity of everything going on inside him. He has no energy to wipe the few tears that slip past his eyes. Maybe he'll just have to endure this for a little longer.

It was only a matter of time before soft knocks started coming from his door. Jaemin turns his head to look at it—no plans to get up.

"Jaemin," a voice says.

He instantly freezes up at the call of his name, holding his breath as if releasing one would expose his already known location. Of course it was going to be the one person he didn't want to see on the other side of the door, let alone talk to.

"The others left… " Jeno says. "Said they'd give us some space."

At the newfound information, Jaemin's heart drops. It was so painfully obvious that the others knew to leave him and Jeno alone to talk things out. He clenches the pillow in his hold tightly.

"I don't— I mean— I do want to talk, Jaem. But I don't want to pressure you either."

If this were any other time, he would have melted over Jeno's gentleness. Now though, all he feels is a deep ache in his chest at the other's words.

Despite this, he finds himself sitting up and staring at the door. Maybe it's just better to rip the bandaid off. He's had his time to reflect within the four corners of the room, now it is time to look at death straight in the face.

Slowly, Jaemin walks to the door. When he places his hand on the handle, he takes one last deep breath before twisting it and pulling the door open. He's immediately greeted by the sight of Jeno, an unsure yet worried look on his face. Jaemin attempts to put on a small smile. "Come in."

He immediately looks away to walk towards his bed. He tries not to pay too much attention to his shaking hands as he sits down on the edge, watching as Jeno sits on his desk chair.

There's a ringing in Jaemin's ears as neither of them speaks up. Although Jaemin had opened the door in agreement to converse, he didn't actually know where to start. While playing with his fingers, he glances up for a second to check what Jeno was doing. At that exact moment, however, Jeno seemed to have the same idea, causing them to make eye contact and instantly look away. Jaemin gulps to try to swallow the anxiety crawling up his throat.

When a few more minutes pass—or that's what it feels like anyways—he finally gathers the courage to initiate the conversation.

"I—"

"Jaem—"

Both freeze at the other's voice. Jaemin looks up, and he sees Jeno already looking at him with wide eyes. Through the depths of his foggy mind and crumbling heart, he can't seem to hold himself back from letting out a small laugh. He hears Jeno giggle too. Of course they were going to sync for this too.

"You first," Jeno says after the laughter dies down. Even now, Jaemin's heavy heart seems to be able to melt at the gentleness in the other's voice.

He nods in acknowledgement, biting his lips in nervousness. A few more seconds pass, and it's only then that he finally finds the courage to speak. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Jeno asks.

Jaemin gulps before continuing. "It's just… That was really embarrassing, wasn't it?"

"You don't have to be embarrassed… I understand." Jeno chuckles to try and lighten the mood. "It's not your fault that the game made it like that."

Jaemin quickly lifts his head and sees the other looking to the side. It was as if Jeno was holding a door open with the words 'EXIT' glowing above it—a way out. He didn't have to lay his feelings bare yet. There'll be a more appropriate and less embarrassing opportunity, or better yet, he can take these feelings to his grave. Days, weeks, months, years can pass, and Jaemin won't have to confess to his best friend that he was actually in love with him all these years. It was the route that Jaemin had thought he was going down anyways.

But Jaemin knows he's come this far already. He shouldn't back down, especially now of all times. He shouldn't run away from it any longer. So, with all his strength, he digs deep into himself, gathering the last amount of courage he needed to finally push through.

"It wasn't the game," Jaemin clarifies with strain in his voice. Jeno looks at him in surprise, causing him to swallow around nothing in nervousness. "Well, it initially was, but…" He looks down at his hands, curling them into fists. I'm really doing this now.

After taking one last inhale, he speaks again. "I thought it'd be nice to let them be since I thought it was cute! And also because I've had a crush on you for the longest time." His heart is beating too fast, but he persists. He doesn't try to take in anything else as he focuses on getting the words out. "I— It's stupid, but I guess I just wanted one version of me at least to have you."

Although a huge weight is lifted off his shoulders, there's still a thorny vine trying to restrict him as he desperately fights to keep his tears at bay. He can't bring himself to look up. Fear and anxiety is the only thing he can feel as he starts shaking. Jaemin further tightens his grip on his pants. "I'm sorry if I weirded you out. I understand if you don't feel the same way. We're supposed to just be best friends, and I hope that we can continue to be that despite this. But if you want to keep your distance then—"

"Jaemin."

He immediately halts upon hearing the other call his name. When he unblurs his vision, only then does he register the two hands positioned atop his. Before he can register the touch, Jeno slowly grabs one of them and unfurls it. When he deems it open enough, the older places his hands under Jaemin's hand and gently caresses it with his thumb. He fear he's about to die from a heart attack with how fast his blood was pumping. Jaemin looks up in confusion over the other's action. Is this the other's last act of kindness before he hits him with rejection? He wishes that the other would just let him down swiftly—

"I like you too."

What?

"Love, even."

"What!?" It's the only word Jaemin is able to come up with as his mind is put into overdrive. He's pretty sure his heart is one skin layer away from jumping out of his chest.

Jeno laughs, but Jaemin can see the red all over the other's face. "I thought I was obvious? The others kept teasing me about it?"

"Didn't we just find out?" Jaemin asks, his voice raising a pitch at the end.

Jeno scratches the back of his neck with the hand that isn't holding Jaemin's. "Yeah, and then they hounded me with messages afterwards."

Jaemin blinks owlishly at Jeno. Somehow, despite all of their friends immediately making the connection about Jeno's crush, Jaemin—his best friend—was blind to it all. A question pops up in Jaemin's mind. "Was I obvious?" He asks.

He gets a response immediately as Jeno swiftly shakes his head. "Well, I don't know about the others. But I had no clue." Jeno tilts his head to the side and furrows his eyebrows as if the cogs are turning in his head. "Although, I guess it makes more sense now why the others told me to talk to you…"

"Wait," Jaemin interjects. "So what where you thinking before?"

"To be honest, I was just really confused," Jeno clarifies. "I don't think I even fully comprehend what I saw before you closed your laptop." He pauses for a moment, trying to properly formulate the last of his thoughts. "I thought you were just embarrassed too… I was worried, you know. I knew how hard you could take things," he ultimately says.

Jaemin sits still on his bed. He's trying to process what's happening, too much information going through his head right now, running through everything that he just learned. He stops on one distinct piece of information that he needs to confirm.

"You love me?" It comes out as a whisper— barely there— but he knows the other hears it when Jeno's face immediately turns bright red, looking away in embarrassment. He'd coo over it if he himself wasn't a tomato too.

He looks at Jeno gulp before he faces him once again, his eyes, however, still looking somewhere else. Jeno tightens his grip on Jaemin's hand. "Yeah."

Jaemin thinks that he can probably charge Jeno for causing this much damage to his heart.

He sees Jeno's face slightly fall as he untangles their fingers, but it turns into an inquisitive one when Jaemin pats the space beside him. "Come here," the younger softly commands.

Jeno's eyes widen a fraction. It takes a second, but he soon follows as he moves to sit beside him. The other has barely made any contact with the bed when Jaemin tackles him. They fall backwards, Jaemin lying on top of Jeno as he lets out a small shout before hitting the mattress.

Jaemin tightens his hold around the other, both to hide himself from the other and to make sure this wasn't all some dream. "I love you," he breathed out. In this position, Jaemin can feel and hear the other's loud heartbeat. It matches his own, he realizes.

It's Jaemin's turn to let out a yelp when Jeno flips them over. When he becomes accustomed to the new position, he lifts his head to look at Jeno. The other lifts himself up on his forearms to properly face him. It isn't new for Jaemin to focus only on Jeno, the world blurring when he takes in the sight of the man who undoubtedly stole his heart. With this proximity, however, it's as if his whole body and soul only knew the other, screaming for him from the depths of his heart.

He sees Jeno glance downwards for a second, and Jaemin can't help but copy him as he looks at the other's lips. When they make eye contact once again, there's a silent question in Jeno's eyes. He answers it by closing his eyes and connecting their lips.

All the thoughts racing through his head instantly come to a halt, his mind finally going quiet for the first time in days. Everything fades away as they pay no mind to everything around them, as if they're the only ones they've ever known and needed in the world. Jaemin relishes the softness and gentleness of it all as Jeno kisses him like he's the most precious thing he's ever had. There's so much hesitation, yet there's just the same amount of yearning as their lips move against each other and hold each other like their lives depend on it. It's everything that Jaemin loved about Jeno and so much more.

When they pull away, they take a moment to look at each other. Only then does Jaemin realize how sickeningly soft Jeno's gaze is. Has he always looked at him like that?

"I love you," Jeno whispers, afraid of popping their bubble.

A smile grows on Jaemin's face when the words reach him. He places his hand on Jeno's cheek and softly caresses the other. Jeno's eyes close for a brief moment, trying to lean further into the touch. Jaemin's heart soars at the sight and affection. He responds to the other's confession by leaning in once again, Jeno happily obliging to kiss him once again.

"So you're telling me that all it took was the Sims to get you guys together?"

Jaemin nods as Donghyuck stares at them in disbelief from the other end of the couch. After a few more kisses and a quick nap, Jaemin had texted the others that they could come back. When they arrived, Jeno told him he would talk to them first to allow him time to compose himself, giving him a quick peck before exiting the room. A few minutes later, Jaemin had emerged from his room and was greeted with a few hugs.

"Jisung was so scared," Mark says before chuckling.

"You were too!" Jisung accuses. "Jaemin just ran straight to his room with this horrified look. Who wouldn't be concerned?"

At the statement, Jaemin feels a squeeze around his shoulder from the arm wrapped around him. He doesn't look at Jeno, but he returns the gesture by squeezing the other's arm, hoping to reassure the other that he was okay now.

"At least everyhing worked out," Jaemin gleefully says. He emphasizes his point by cuddling closer to Jeno, widely grinning at the contact. "Right, baby?" His response comes in the form of Jeno wrapping his other arm around him and nuzzling into his hair, a small 'mhm' coming from the older.

Jisung's face twists in cringe and disgust at the display. "I don't know if I want to see them always flirting now though." Someone—he's pretty sure it's Chenle—also gags.

"Now think about us who live with them!" Renjun exclaims. Donghyuck loudly groans as Jaemin sticks a tongue out at the two of them.

Mark shakes his head with a smile on his face. "What we mean is that we're happy for you guys."

"Yeah, and since we're so happy, we're sleeping over." Chenle smugly grins. "I'm taking Jeno's room." Jaemin laughs when Jeno groans at the other's declaration. On the other hand, Donghyuck lets out a loud sigh of relief, causing Chenle to point at him accusingly. "Or I'll sleep in your room instead, Hyuck!"

Donghyuck stands and points back. "You can't change!" From behind Donghyuck, Jaemin looks at Renjun, hands clasped together as he silently prays that no one would choose his room. He silently giggles at his roommates.

In the midst of the bickering, Jaemin hears a silent 'oh' from Jeno. He looks at him and sees the glint in the other's eyes. "I'm sleeping in Jaem's room," Jeno proudly interjects. Someone responds with the nth gag in the past 15 minutes.

Immediately forgetting about his earlier dispute with Donghyuck, Chenle eyes both of them before a mischievous smile grows on his face. While keeping his eyes on them, he leans towards Mark's ear and loudly whispers, "They're gonna WooHoo."

Chenle bursts into laughter when his intended audience, Jaemin, flushes red. Renjun and Donghyuck are also cackling while Jisung and Jeno look at them in loss.

"Don't say that!" Mark says, his suppressed laughter betraying his words.

"Ah!" Jisung shouts and scrunches his face in disgust after Renjun whispers into his ear.

That leaves Jeno, who's looking at Jaemin in confusion. "Woo… Hoo?"

"I'll tell you later."

There's a glint in Donghyuck's eyes as he makes eye contact with Jaemin. "Wait, now I'm curious. Have you ever made your sims—"

Jaemin immediately straightens up. "No!" He's pretty sure he's a tomato right now.

"Oh." Jaemin turns to Jeno, and it seems that the other has finally caught on if the redness on his face was any indication. He watches Jeno gulp and avoid his gaze. Despite the embarrassment Jaemin feels, he can't help but still feel fond of the other's cuteness. He thinks he'll terrorize his friends a little more. Jaemin reaches out to gently turn Jeno's head to face him. The other slightly tilts his head in confusion, and Jaemin takes the opportunity to lean in for a kiss. Jeno makes a sound of content as he kisses back, and Jaemin finds himself smiling into the kiss. He isn't surprised—expects it even—when someone gags again, but he doesn't really care.

Donghyuck throws a cushion at him and Jeno, causing the couple to separate and laugh. "Get a room!"

"Gladly," he retorts immediately.

"I think I would have preferred watching their sims instead," Renjun mutters.

Jaemin puts his tongue out again in response. He can't help himself from grinning though, especially when Jeno leans on his shoulder. In the back of his mind, maybe he's already planning their sims wedding.