Chapter Text
"You need a girlfriend, mate," Lando said without looking up, hyper-focused on the Mario Kart screen as he lay splayed across Oscar's couch.
Oscar stopped scrolling through his phone. He didn't look up either, mostly because he was terrified that if he did, Lando would see the exact moment Oscar’s heart hit the floor. It was a ridiculous thing to panic over—Lando said stupid things hourly—but this felt dangerously close to a boundary Oscar had spent the four carefully constructing.
"Do I?" Oscar asked, his voice flat, completely devoid of the sudden spike in his heart rate.
"Yeah," Lando muttered, aggressively tapping the drift button on the controller. "You're getting boring. You need someone to drag you out. I'm taking executive action as your best friend."
That was the problem with Lando—he never noticed anything. Oscar had never even had a girlfriend. He’d had boyfriends, but Lando didn’t know that, so it was easier to just let him keep assuming.
"I don't think so. I'm perfectly fine," Oscar said, his lips twitching into a slight pout. "Besides, you're always dragging me out to clubs anyway."
"Yeah, but that's not what I mean," Lando groaned, finally losing his race and dropping the controller onto his chest with a dramatic sigh. He turned his head to look at Oscar. "I'm talking about romance, Osc. Soft shit. Someone to hold your hand when you get stressed about work or college."
“Lando.” Oscar's tone turned dead serious. “I'm gonna hold your hand when I tell you this.”
Lando's face twisted into a confused mess. “What?? What are you going to tell me, Piastri?”
“I like…”
“Who?? Is it Lea from the bar?? She is always making eyes at you!”
“What? No, she is a lesbian, Lando. Your gaydar is completely broken, mate.”
“My what?”
"Your gaydar," Oscar repeated slowly, staring at Lando like he was a kid. "Your ability to tell if someone is into the same team as you. Which, clearly, you lack. Because Lando... I don't like girls.”
Lando's mouth opened and closed repeatedly, like a fish out of water. He was too shocked to speak.
“You??” Lando finally choked out.
Oscar felt the panic creeping in, a cold weight settling in his stomach. He braced himself, waiting for the disgust, waiting for Lando to pull away or say something that would ruin everything they had built over the last four years.
“Since when?” Lando asked instead.
Oscar looked at him, his eyes wide.
“Since forever,” he answered, his voice thick. He was so close to crying, the fear completely paralyzing him.
“Hey, Osc, don't cry. I'm not mad, I'm just surprised. I never thought you liked boys,” Lando said, scrambling up from his splayed position to sit closer, desperately trying to calm his friend down. “It's okay, mate. You're still the same old boring Osc, and I still like you.”
Oscar snorted, his eyes still clouded by unshed tears. “Same old boring Osc.”
“Yes. So now I need to get you a boyfriend instead, right?” Lando muttered, his voice dropping so soft that if Oscar hadn't been practically glued to his side, he never would have heard it.
“Land—”
“Shut up, Oscar, I'm thinking,” Lando said, tapping Oscar’s lips with his index finger to silence him.
“Mmmhmmm... Tom? No, I like him, but he’s a jerk. Maybe Luke? No, he already has a girlfriend,” he murmured softly.
“Lando, stop.” Oscar pinched his arm to get his attention. "I don't need a boyfriend"
“You're wrong, and I'm gonna prove it to you,” Lando said, suddenly standing up and grabbing his jacket, marching straight toward the door. “I'm gonna get you the perfect boyfriend, Oscar Piastri. You'll see. Good night!”
Before Oscar could even process what was happening, Lando disappeared through the front door, clicking it shut behind him.
Oscar stood there, staring blankly at the closed door.
“You'll never get it, Lando,” he whispered to the empty room. He slid down onto the floor, wanting nothing more than to sleep until tomorrow and completely forget about this night.