Work Text:
Chloe watched Red from afar.
The redhead was talking with Aziz, who was asking her out. He told her that he had a crush on Red, and asked Chloe to set them up.
It hurt to see someone ask out the girl she was in love with, but she didn't want her feelings to get in the way of Red liked him back.
She wishes she was normal, that she was jealous of Red instead of Aziz. But she wasn't. And her heart only beat painfully when she looked at Red.
Aziz held out the flowers to her, confessing everything. But his smile dropped, and so did his hand holding the flowers.
He walked away with a frown while Red looked uncomfortable. While she shouldn't, Chloe couldn't help but feel a little bit of joy watching Red turn him away.
I want to love a boy the way I love the ocean
Wish I was not afraid of all I have that's broken
Watching Red laugh just made her want to kiss her.
Chloe's eyes traced the lines of her jaw, her lips, and her nose, until finally looking into her eyes. They were sparkling like they always did when she talked about art.
"I made a painting of you actually," Red said, her face flushed.
Chloe's eyes widened, her own face turning the other girl's name. She wanted to see it, wanted to see how she looked in Red's eyes.
She leaned forward, "Can I... can I see it?"
Red flushed harder, "Y-yeah when it's done," she said, clearing her throat.
Chloe smiled widely, she loved Red's art. Though she was a bit nervous, what if she cried when she saw it or something? Would that be weird?
She blinked, trying to push her feelings down. She had to stop. To pretend like she didn't like Red. The other girl would never like her back, she'll only get hurt later.
Chloe moved away from Red and chewed her lip, "Hey I have swords and shields soon so I should get going." She was lying, it didn't start for another hour.
Red knew that, but she forced a smile. "Okay. Bye then, Chloe."
Fuck. Red only called her that when she was upset, hurt, or pissed off.
I know I must behave to contain all my emotion
But I want to love a boy the way I love the ocean
Chloe came back after curfew, which was unusual for her. Red was pacing back and forth, a worried expression on her face.
"Where the fuck have you been, Chloe!?" She yelled, her worry turning into anger. It was thunder storming outside, the rain falling heavy.
The blue haired girl chewed her cheek, she'd been at her cousins dorm trying to forget about her feelings. Meanwhile her cousin was attempting to set her up with Max, who she thought Chloe would get along well with.
"I was just at Dizzy's. After swords and shields, she asked me to come to her dorm. She was trying to set me up with Max, he said he might be interested in me." Chloe lied about Dizzy asking her. Dizzy wasn't even there after practice, Chloe had went to her dorm.
Red scoffed, "Why didn't answer your phone? I was worried sick!"
Chloe clenched her jaw, she'd was tired and not in the mood for Red's anger. "My phone was dead. I'm not in the mood for this, Red."
"You're in not the mood for what!? Having a conversation with me? Why don't you go talk to Max then." Red said, the last sentence laced in venom.
Chloe huffed in disbelief, her eyebrows scrunching in anger. "Are you serious Red? I said he liked me! I didn't say I liked him!"
Red stepped closer, tears welling up in her eyes, "I thought... I thought maybe we were something. So it just hurts to hear you talk about that."
Chloe's eyes darted to the floor, fear rushing through her. Red wasn't a prince, unlike in all the fairytales where it's a prince and a princess.
Even if it's a commoner, it's always a boy and a girl. Two girls would never be accepted. Two princesses could never date and be in love.
Chloe jolted back, shaking her head. "No. No no. I can't. Two girls can't be in love, Red. The fairytales— they're all girls and boys."
Red looked at her with teary eyes. "We can make our own fairytale. We don't have to follow all that old outdated shit. Anyone can love anyone in Wonderland. Please Princess, I love you."
Chloe wouldn't look at her. She started packing up her stuff while Red cried, begging her not to leave. But Chloe couldn't be with a girl, she had to fall for Max.
She left the dorm and went to Dizzy's. She knocked on the door then frowned like a kicked puppy with watery eyes when her cousin opened the door.
Dizzy let her in, worry in her eyes as she questioned what happened. Chloe told her that she and Red got in a fight, but wouldn't tell her why.
Like a hidden cave, I am always open I hold the space you made, I'm empty, but still hoping
Chloe starts avoiding Red, choosing to spend her time with Max.
Dizzy set them up the first time then it just kind of flowed from there. Chloe liked hanging out with him, but only as a friend.
She could tell he liked her, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t like him back. So she just continued spending time with him and ignoring Red.
The redhead stared at her longingly. Her friends asked what happened between, if her and Red got into a fight over a boy. That’s what people assumed they were ignoring each other over.
A stupid boy.
But Chloe couldn’t fall for one. Even as she tried and tried.
I have a feeling, a terrible fear encroaching That I'll never love a boy the way I love the ocean
I ask why it's better to speak than it is to die
One night, Max kissed her.
Chloe kissed him back, depending it trying to feel anything. But instead she just left his dorm feeling dirty. When she got to Dizzy’s she went straight to the shower and scrubbed the skin where his hands touched.
She never wanted that again, never wanted to be touched like that by a boy. She wanted Red to touch her like that. She wanted Red. Desperately.
But she’d rejected her, walked away and broke her heart while she begged her to stay. She walked away from Red knowing she loved her because she was too scared to love her back.
To love Red meant to be free, but to be free meant to be open. And Chloe wasn’t sure if she was ready for that.
As much as she wanted Red, she couldn’t subject her to forced silence. She couldn’t start something with her only to hide it away because Chloe’s too terrified of everyone else’s reactions.
One more try, it's better to laugh than it is to lie
I thought I had a man, someone who could hold me
She tried lying to herself, tried to like Max. But it didn’t work. Because Chloe was in love with Red. Chloe only loved girls.
The blue haired girl lays on the floor of her cousins dorm, thinking over her actions in her head. She wished she more accepting of herself.
She wished she wasn’t so scared.
The door creaked as it opened, Dizzy entering the dorm with a small bounce. She had a smile on her face as she stood over Chloe, looking down at the older girl.
“Hiya cousin, what’s wrong?” Dizzy questioned, taking a seat on the floor next to Chloe.
“Just thinking…” Chloe trailed off, frowning deeply at the ceiling.
Dizzy laid down next her, “What about? You’ve been off since you ran away from your dorm. Is this about Red?”
Chloe felt a pang in her heart at the girl’s name, “Do you… do you think it’s okay for two people of the same gender to like each other?”
Dizzy was silent for a long moment, her eyes studying Chloe. It made her want to run and hide, incase she was deciding how to kick her out.
But she didn’t, instead she rested a hand on Chloe’s arm, “Anyone could love anyone, Chloe. Don’t listen to what those old rotten people say, they’re just jealous because there fairytales are long over and they’re no longer relevant.”
Dizzy rubbed her arm, “Go talk to Red. Even if you can’t accept yourself yet, let her help you.”
Chloe was silent as she took in her younger cousins words, then she stood. “You’re right.”
But nobody can, I wish someone had told me I was born yesterday, and I'm still wet, still soaking
It was late when someone knocked on Red’s dorm door.
Usually Chloe would get it, and every time some knocked she’d look over at the other bed only to see it blank. It made her heart pang painfully, she missed Chloe desperately.
She got up and opened the door with a small sigh, hoping it wasn’t Pink.
When she opened to door to reveal Chloe, her breath caught. “Chloe,” Red said breathlessly, not knowing what to say.
All she knew was she didn’t want her to leave. Even if Chloe never wanted to talk about her feelings again, she couldn’t lose her best friend.
The best friend that’s slowly become the love of her life, even if she’s not hers. It hurt but Red could live with, the only thing she couldn’t live without was Chloe herself.
“Can I come in? So we can talk,” Chloe questioned.
Red nodded immediately, stepping aside to let her in. She shut the door behind her then turned to the younger girl, “So, if you want to forget I ever liked you we can. We can just pretend like it never happened. I just.. I can’t lose you Chloe. I can’t live without you, please don’t make me do it.”
Chloe cut her off by smashing their lips together. Red was surprised but kissed back nonetheless. They held onto each other for a few minutes, relishing in their feelings and the love between them.
The blue haired girl pulled back, a large smile on her face. “I’ve wanted to do that for months. I was too afraid early and I still am. But I’m less scared now after talking with Dizzy. I haven’t fully accepted myself, but I want to get there. For you. With you.”
Red smiled back widely, “Of course, Charming. I’ll help you learn to accept yourself, together.”
“Together,” Chloe parroted, at ease for the first time in days.
And I want to love a boy the way I love the ocean
The way I love the ocean
The way I love the ocean