Work Text:
Today the clouds were a quiet orange. Jo glanced at the time beaming on Ohashi’s phone, a bright 17:44 that told him their filming today had ended. He stood still, staring intently at the message Ohashi was typing on his screen, or more-so the hands that were typing the message and now slipping the phone into a jacket pocket.
The sounds of the crew shutting off cameras and carrying mics away, all working to dismantle the set surrounding their program filmed moments ago, were drowned out as Ohashi turned to him and asked: “Any plans tonight?”
Wind whipped through Jo’s hair, covering his eyes for a brief second. He brushed it off and shook his head. “You’re not going back to the hotel?”
“Not yet.” Ohashi grinned. “You coming?”
He was beautiful again today. After the cameras stopped rolling, Jo had somehow stood and waited, watching Ohashi collect his things from a distance. He waited as if they had made plans together, even though they had barely spoken today outside of filming. He waited as if he had already promised his time to Hassun, and Hassun’s to him.
They walked away from the set together in silence. It was outside, under open sky, not far from fields of golden grass and greener air. Jo thought about how quiet it was to film away from the city. He thought about how nice it was that today was just the two of them.
He glanced over at Ohashi who was walking with his eyes closed. His head slightly tilted upward with eyelids lightly pressed shut, Ohashi was letting the wind weave through his hair. It shaped his lips into an even bigger grin than before.
Jo’s heart ached. He smiled back as if the grin was directed towards him. “Thinking about how good the weather is?”
Ohashi nodded and opened his eyes to meet Jo’s. “I love filming in the countryside every once in a while. And look!” He glanced all around them. “We’re the only ones here.”
Jo unlatched his eyes from Hassun to absorb their surroundings. A long road stretched before and behind them — he hadn’t realized how far they had walked from the set — and on either side were fields dusted in autumn colors. The sun was setting slowly behind the clouds, and the faint sound of water from a nearby river echoed around them.
Yet his eyes found themselves back on Hassun. His hands longed to trace the rays of light dancing back and forth along his skin. His breath longed to find itself caught in the wind that caressed Hassun’s cheeks.
Jo had lost count of how many steps they’d taken since their walk started. How many words had been spoken? How many minutes had passed?
Hassun was beckoning to him now. His hand motioned for Jo to follow him down the slope to the riverbank. He hadn’t realized how much clearer the sound of the water had become: it appeared in front of them, flowing kindly and welcoming them to stop beside it. Jo watched Hassun stumble as he awkwardly walked down the slope. He laughed.
“It’s steep!” Hassun yelled.
Jo lopsidedly smiled and made his way down too. Again, he ignored the ache in his heart. He got right next to Hassun who was waiting at the edge of the water. “Don’t fall in,” Jo jokingly warned.
“I’ll just pull you in with me.”
He took a step back. “Absolutely not.”
It was Hassun’s turn to laugh now. All Jo could do was stare at him a step away and smile, trying to stop the tears welling in his eyes.
The pain of loving your close friend for 10 years was a dull pain. It ate at you with every smile in your direction, every touch that felt as if it was never meant for you. The love made it hurt to look at him. Watching him smile was the happiest Jo ever felt. It was also the greatest pain he’d ever known.
Hassun, looking at Jo with a gently playful grin, extended his hand out, palm towards the sky. Still somewhat in a daze, Jo stared at it with a confused look.
“Oh, come on, Jo,” Hassun teased, “I’m supposed to be the clueless one here.”
Nothing had registered yet. Jo looked up at Hassun and blinked. Ah. Giving into wishful thinking, he slowly extended his own hand. But before his palm met Hassun’s, he paused. “You’re not doing this to yank me into the water, right?”
“Got me there,” Hassun joked, grabbing Jo’s hand that was hanging in the air, hesitant. Instead of pulling Jo into the water, he pulled Jo closer to him. Jo’s body was back next to Hassun, pressed against the side of his arm.
Proximity wasn’t foreign to them. The countless times their skins touched, the distance between their faces mere millimeters apart. Every time it happened, Jo’s feelings fluctuated between heartache and nothing; to force himself not to feel was the greatest pain of all. To push his heart to stop beating loudly, suppressing it inside his chest, was something that never became easier with time.
Hassun squeezed his hand. “Sorry, my palms are kinda sweaty.”
Jo smiled at the water, his heart skipping a beat. His own hands weren’t so dry either, but he couldn’t tell whether that was from his or Hassun’s side. He wanted to turn and look at Hassun directly. Shy, he decided to subtly steal a glance instead, but was surprised to see Hassun’s face turned all the way away.
Hassun’s ears were a bright crimson. His eyes were aimed downward; Jo wasn’t sure whether at the grass or his shoes or the river.
“Hey,” Jo whispered. “You know, right?”
“Know what?” Hassun asked, still not meeting Jo’s eye. His hand was still holding on tightly.
“You know what I mean.” Jo wondered whether Hassun could tell he was smiling through his words. His nerves were subsiding. “Hassun…” he said softly, slowly turning his body to face him.
With one swift movement, Hassun yanked both of them into the grass so they were laying on their backs. Jo burst out laughing, his head nestled in the golden blades, still pressed against Hassun’s arm. “What are you doing? Idiot.” Jo laughed.
Both their faces were bright red now as the sound of their laughter was swallowed by the wind. The breeze had swept Hassun’s hair across his face, covering his eyes. Jo couldn’t help the hand that reached out to fix it, although making sure that the hand that held onto Hassun’s was still gripping tight.
Hassun didn’t flinch at the touch, only smiling and turning a softer red. “Are you hungry or anything?”
Jo wanted to laugh at the sudden question. It was endearing. Was he feeling shy? Jo only shook his head and quietly responded, “Not yet.”
The two lay there until the sky turned purple, approaching closer and closer to a cloudy blue. The rays that danced through the breeze and across their bodies were disappearing now, leaving them in a comfortable silence. The quiet was comforting, too; it reminded Jo that words were never needed when they were together. He wondered whether they could always be like this. He wanted everything to change between them but nothing at all.
The soil beneath his head was soft. The grass seemed to help him tilt his face towards Hassun. He was happy to see Hassun turn to look at him too. Their hands still held onto each other as if begging the other not to let go.
“Hi,” Hassun whispered.
“Hi,” Jo whispered back.
Hassun’s eyes sparkled and Jo was already drowning in them. It felt as if they were floating together in the air, carried away by the sound of the water, the sway of the grass.
Carefully, Jo inched his head forward. Hassun wiggled his whole body a bit closer too. They stopped just as their noses touched. Hassun scrunched his face a bit and softly laughed. It made Jo’s whole being melt into the earth.
As if in a daze, Jo slowly tilted his head upwards to catch Hassun’s lips in his. His breath hitched as Hassun fully closed the gap, gently biting Jo’s bottom lip as the distance between them dissolved to zero. Jo kissed Hassun again and again. His hand carefully caressed Hassun’s cheek, soft lips meeting each other in gentle rhythm.
When they both finally pulled away, Jo opened his eyes only to blush at the pink of Hassun’s lips. They slightly swelled from the kiss. Hassun shot him a toothy smile and the ache in Jo’s heart came back alongside a warm pang in his stomach.
He propped himself up on his elbow and stared back at a Hassun who was observing his face quite intently.
“Ah… So cool, Jo-kun,” Hassun teased.
Jo just rolled his eyes, knowing he had already failed to suppress the smile forming on his face. He pressed his lips against Hassun’s once more. They had barely started kissing before Hassun opened his mouth and slid his tongue all along the inside of Jo’s mouth. It made Jo gasp, his hand pushing down on Hassun’s jaw so he would open up more. Hassun panted and laughed.
“Tickles,” he muttered against Jo’s lips. Jo kissed him one more time before pulling away.
“Are we…” Jo stopped himself. He didn’t want to say anything now. The rush from the kiss was still sending heat across his whole body. He let himself fall back into the grass. He hadn’t realised Hassun’s hand was still holding onto him, now with an uncertainty that seemed to have suddenly risen.
“Hey, Jo,” Hassun swallowed, “whatever happens, we have each other, right?”
“Of course,” Jo reassured him. “I’ll always be here.”
They lay there in silence once more, Jo’s lips still pulsating from the kiss. Did it even happen? He glanced over at Hassun again. “I think…I think we should…” he stopped, failing once again to find the words. He swallowed a lump in his throat. “I love you.”
Hassun’s head shot towards Jo. “No!” he exclaimed.
Jo blinked, confused.
“I wanted to be the one to say it first!”
Jo blinked again, the realization slowly hitting about what Hassun was trying to say. He burst out laughing and pinched Hassun’s nose. “I was so scared for a moment. God, you’re so…” he sighed.
“I mean, you probably already knew, right?”
“Knew what?”
“That I…” Hassun pursed his lips as if to suck the words back into himself. He breathed out. “That I love you.”
Jo’s expression softened. He could feel the tears again.
“But looking back,” Hassun continued, trying not to get pulled into Jo’s teary eyes, “I guess we weren’t hiding it that well.”
“Hello, who’s we? I had no clue.”
“What do you mean? I mean, I was being so obvious. I was the one who thought you were, you know,” he let himself breath for a few moments, “that you didn’t see me that way.”
Jo wanted to hit himself. He lightly punched Hassun’s arm instead. “Kazuya, you have to know that you are a very touchy person.”
“But the way I touch you is…” he smiled as if to let the meaning of the word settle for a few seconds longer, “different.”
“Ah… you…,” Jo sighed as if already giving up. He hated to admit how much this all made his heart squeeze.
They let the quiet night air overtake them. Stars began to dot the sky, peering shyly from behind scattered clouds. A sense of fear and worry washed over Jo as he thought about the two of them. How much had he changed their path because of the kiss?
As if sensing his growing concern, Hassun squeezed his hand. “Jo…”
“Kazuya.”
They turned to look at each other as if on cue, both failing to hide their smile upon eye contact.
“Since when?” Jo asked.
“Audition.”
Jo furrowed his brow, feeling even more clueless than he was before. “You’re joking.”
“Well, I mean, it started as more of a crush,” Hassun said a bit too matter-of-factly.
“Did we even- did you even see me that much that day?”
Hassun shook his head against the grass. “Can I be honest? You were pretty cool that day. A cool senpai. Never stopped feeling that way.”
There was so much Jo wanted to ask. There was so much yet to be said, but he let everything go. He tossed it up above them into the night sky and let the clouds hold onto everything for them; at least for now. All Jo could do was close his eyes and relive all the years they’d been together. Not “together” together, but together.
“Hey, Jo-kun?”
“Yeah?”
“I think we should kiss again.”
Jo opened his eyes and turned to see a Hassun smiling brightly beside him, his face already starting to nuzzle itself into Jo’s neck. Any doubt that Jo was feeling had withered once again. He knew he was smiling like an idiot now, but he couldn’t help it. Everything inside him knew he was happy. He was so happy.
“Idiot,” he deflected, though he was already shifting his body so that it directly faced Hassun.
They kissed again.
Arms and legs began to tangle together, fingertips grazing soft skin. Hassun had somehow slipped his leg between Jo’s while Jo’s hands found themselves sliding up Hassun’s shirt. Hassun arched his back at the touch. It sent a shiver up Jo’s fingers and down his spine, making him pull Hassun closer so their chests were pressed to each other just as their lips were.
Limbs tangled and breaths one, they both slowly pulled apart.
“Should we tell the others?”
Jo sighed. “Should we?”
“It’ll probably be obvious, right?”
“You’re not wrong,” Jo sighed again but with a soft smile, thinking about all the “See I knew it!”s that were about to come their way.
“We’re not… doing anything bad, right?”
It surprised Jo to hear that question. He knew Hassun prioritised the group first and foremost, but hearing how many fears Hassun kept in his heart always set Jo back a bit. The responsibilities of a leader never grew lighter. As reassuringly as he could, Jo squeezed Hassun and kissed his forehead. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”
All Hassun could do was nod, his eyes peering into Jo’s with a hopefulness the two were wordlessly exchanging.
“We’ll be fine, Kazuya. Don’t worry.”
“I must say, Jo-kun, you’re doing great as a boyfriend.”
Jo choked on nothing. “Boyfriend?!”
“Is that not what we are now?”
Ah, right. It was all just registering now. “You’re… you’re not wrong.”
“Or should I go back to calling you my partner in marriage? My soulmate? My other half?” Hassun teased, wiggling his eyebrows a bit too flirtatiously. It came naturally to him, Jo was sure by now. He was still feeling weirdly shy, somehow, but he knew Hassun would always be able to close that gap.
“Boyfriend is fine,” Jo muttered quietly.
“You’re the one who kissed me, by the way. Take responsibility.”
“You’re the- the hand thing!”
“The mood was good, no?” Hassun laughed.
“You’re not wrong,” Jo sighed, unconsciously smiling again.
“Can you say it again?”
“Say what?”
“The…” Hassun trailed off, “the thing you said.”
“What thing?”
“Jo…”
“What did I say?”
“Are you doing this on purpose?”
Jo was, of course, doing this on purpose. He smirked. “Hassun, what did I say?”
“How sneaky. I love you.”
“I love you.”
Another silent but knowing look was exchanged, and Jo kissed Hassun again. The look shared between them was as if to say both of them knew it would be one of many million more.
アイラブユーの言葉じゃ
足りないからとキスして
雲がまだ2人の影を残すから
いつまでも いつまでも このまま
離さない
いつまでも いつまでも 離さない