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Tenya can’t bear to face himself right now.
Not just because of what he did– what he failed to do–
But also because he knows that, when he looks at a mirror, he only sees somebody else in his image, somebody whom he is not but almost was and almost suffered the same fate as–
The door opens, and a nurse walks in. “Izuku Midoriya is awake,” he informs Tenya. “You may now see him if you wish.”
Tenya nearly jumps off the bed, accidentally tugging the sheets askew in his haste to stand up.
“He’s just a few rooms over. Follow me.”
They make their way down the hall, past rooms with names that Tenya doesn't recognize written on the cards beside each door, until they reach a room marked Todoroki Shouto.
The nurse places a hand on the door handle but waits for Tenya's cue to push down.
Tenya hesitates.
He is the reason that his classmates were in this mess; first, Midoriya came to find him because he foolishly disappeared from under Manual's watch during their patrol, and then Todoroki had been dragged into the fray by Midoriya's location pin distress signal.
It's his fault.
How can he look Todoroki in the eye?
But then again, how can he be so cowardly as to not do so? He must own up to his mistakes, painful as it will be.
He nods at the nurse, who pushes the door open to reveal not only Todoroki but Midoriya too. Todoroki sits on his hospital bed, Midoriya in a chair next to him. Tenya enters the room and takes a seat on the other empty chair across from Todoroki, steepling his fingers and casting his gaze downward and saying nothing.
It is Midoriya, as always, who breaks the fragile silence.
"Iida, how are you feeling?" he asked. "How's the arm?"
"Not bad, all things considered," Tenya replies. "It healed on its own as well as it could. I was lucky."
"Recovery Girl can help finish the healing process when we get back to UA, right?" Midoriya asks.
Tenya pauses, meeting the other's eyes and considering whether he should tell his friends the truth.
"In fact…" he looks back down again. "I have decided that it may be better not to heal this injury all the way, regardless of the potential longer-standing effects on my hand function— it serves as a reminder of my folly and selfishness and misjudgment in that moment"
He can tell Midoriya and Todoroki want to protest, but neither says a word, allowing him time to pull himself together and process his thoughts.
“To be honest, I look in the mirror and I see my brother,” Tenya confesses. "Just as I have always seen myself as a younger version of him. That was everything I looked up to, everything I wanted to be when I grew older. And yet what use is our similarity, if I could not save him, if I could not take his place?”
Todoroki shifts forward on the bed, seemingly not knowing what to say.
Tenya doesn't need him to say those empty reassurances that are surely coalescing in his mind, though. He just needs to be heard.
"I am scarred and Tensei is broken, paralyzed, never to live his dream of being a hero ever again," he tells them. It needs to be said out loud. It cannot be changed, but it cannot be ignored, this fact, this reason why all three of them are here.
But at this, Midoriya shakes his head. "Iida…" he reaches for Tenya's hand, entwining his worn, scarred fingers with Tenya's own newlay scarred ones. "Your brother isn't broken — paralyzed for now, maybe, but broken, no," he insists. "I hear you speak of your brother in the highest regard possible. If he were truly so easily broken, he would not be the person you look up to so much."
"But-" Iida starts.
"I believe your brother has the spirit to push beyond this, with you and your family to help him through this time," Midoriya continues. "And medicine continues to be developed every day; who knows whether he'll be back up and walking by this time next year?"
Tenya tries to process the words his friend is saying. Midoriya's right; Tensei is strong, stronger than Tenya himself is, and doesn't deserve to be diminished like so.
He nods hesitantly, but Midoriya still is not done.
"And you, too, Iida." A reassuring squeeze from warm, strong, crooked and calloused fingers. "You too can move on ahead from this. You can forgive yourself and take the lessons you've learned to become a better hero. And know that Todoroki and I never blamed you, ever. You acted out of love for your brother, and really, who can blame you for that?"
At this, Todoroki nods emphatically, in one of the biggest displays of emotion Tenya's seen from his classmate so far.
"You can— you will push past this. We believe in you."
Tenya's almost startled by the conviction in his friend's voice after everything.
But then again… Midoriya may have a point.
"Yes," he responds, curling his fingers of his free hand into a fist. "I will become a better hero."
"Indeed," Todoroki agrees.
"I will not let this ever happen again," he vows.
If they can believe in him… he can believe in himself, too.