Chapter Text
Home.
He was finally in home. But what do you do when home doesn't feel like home anymore?
It has been days, probably weeks since he came back, and since their victory against the statues as a team again, but why does everything feels...wrong? He just feels so...weird, like if his body isn't there, at home, and it's back in the jungle. He hates remembering that time though, yes he helped people, but at the same time being there drained him. Could you imagine Leonardo, the "perfect" leader and son, being so tired of life that he just- ...
So here he is, Leonardo, the big leader, sitting at the couch at two am in the morning because, even though he feels so tired, the nightmares are bigger than him.
He wants to sleep, yet he can't, curious when his body is screaming in pain. So, instead of trying to go back in bed, he's just sitting in the couch with the T.V. on and thinking, thinking of how he can reach to his brothers. God, he missed them so much, but he feels that he failed them too, even when going away was so that he could be better, but now that he thinks more about it...maybe that was wrong, maybe he should done something else, maybe he should have stayed in the jungle waiting for his time to come-
"Leo?"
He blinked twice, how long did he zooned out? Wait, did Donnie called his name? He didn't hear any sound
"Hey Leo, are you alright?" Donnie asked again, looks like he was going to bed, was he in his lab all this time then?
"Oh, yeah, 'm fine" Leonardo answered quietly, he was too tired to continue with this conversation.
"...right. Um- if you need anything, feel free to call me, and you should go to sleep as well" was the last thing Donnie said, because he was already walking towards his room.
"Will do, thanks" was the only think Leonardo could said, though he's sure Donnie didn't hear him 'cause when he answered Donnie was already gone.
And just like that, he was alone again, alone with his feelings, seems like he won't get any sleep. Maybe tomorrow he can try talking more with his brothers, or even apologize to them. Yeah, that would be a good start...
His eyes started to close, guess that he was too tired to think too.
–
He woke up because of a noise, or was it a voice? He really can't figure it out, everything hurts so much now, and him sleeping in the couch didn't help at all. He rubs his eyes and looks at the direction where the sound came from, it was the sound of Raph punching some bags.
He got up, trying to forget the pain that he was feeling and walked towards Raph direction. He needs to apologize, specially to him after their fight...they couldn't talk about it because of the statues issue, but now they can. Or at least he hopes so.
"so, are you gonna keep staring at me or..?" Raphael said serious, not in an angry tone, just..dry maybe?
"I- sorry, didn't realized it" was what Leonardo answered, which was the true, he zooned out, again.
Raphael just stared at him confused and continued doing what he was doing. "Actually- I was wondering if we could talk" said Leonardo directly.
"Talk about what Leo?" Raph was actually confused, and scared, because he knew to where this talk was going.
"You know- I couldn't apologize properly to you because.. you know why" why was this so difficult? He just wanted to apologize for being a bad brother and leaving them, apologize for the fight they had.
Raphael froze, he was just not ready for this talk, not this early. "Everything's fine Leo, and uh- 'm sorry too" said Raph like he was whispering.
Leonardo didn't know how to react. Just like that? Did he- did he really forgave him? Or was he just trying to avoid this talk? Everything in his mind collapsed, it was like if every thought in his mind just acted in his own. What is wrong with him?...
The pain increased, so he just silently left the room, trying to get away of whatever he was feeling. It all felt so...weird.
He was so lost right now, was coming back a good idea? Did they..hated him? Why does everything feels so wrong?
He was in the living room again, but this time Mikey and Donnie were already in the kitchen. Why breathing was so difficult now?
"Hey Leo! We're gonna have breakfast, want some?" Mikey asked, smiling at him.
No, this was too much, he can't- he can't just sit there after what he did to them. Everything hurts, why?
"...thanks Mikey, but I think I will pass. I just- just need some air" said Leonardo with a tired smile, trying to act as if he was't freaking out.
So he just left, hoping that all of this will go away so that he can be the lead- big brother they deserve.
Mikey just stared, confused. "..what was that?" he asked. "I'm wondering the same thing Mikey, seems like our big brother is dealing with..something I guess" answered Donnie.
"..but why now? I thought things were good?" Said Mikey very worried. "We should have talked to him, we just acted as if nothing had happened. Do you think..something in the jungle happened that made him change that much?"
Donnie looked at him frustrated and worried, "I'm gonna be honest with you Mikey, something definitely happened to him there but I don't think he will talk"
"Nothing new, and it's not like we asked him to go" said Raph at the distant, now he sounded angry. More angrier than he wished, because truth is, Raphael is actually very worried about Leonardo, specially after the fight they had, he feels so guilty
They know something is up with their big brother, but how can they help him if they don't know anything at all?
–
Meanwhile, our big leader might be having a crisis out there. He doesn't know why he feels like this, or why everything hurts, or why he feels that they hate him, or why he feels so empty...so empty that the only thing left is a bag of bones.