Chapter Text
CHAPTER 1
There was a girl lying on a couch in what looked like an office.
She couldn't have been older than twelve.
Blonde hair framed her pale face, and her blue eyes were closed as though she were already halfway gone. Whatever illness had taken hold of her had left her frighteningly still.
And Caroline was crying.
Not for herself.
For the girl.
"Transfer the disease into me," Caroline heard herself say. "I'll die instead of her."
Across from her sat another woman with a thick, old-looking book open in her lap. The pages were yellowed with age, covered in symbols Caroline didn't recognize.
The woman looked up.
"Caroline, are you sure? She's just a girl."
"No," Caroline replied firmly. "She's a child who's only had twelve years. I've lived over three hundred."
She reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair from the girl's forehead.
"Besides, I'm done. Complete." A sad smile touched her lips. "I was done even before she was brought here."
The woman studied her for a long moment before finally nodding.
"Alright. I can do it. I can transfer the disease into you."
She paused.
"And then I can make it quick."
Caroline nodded.
"That's what I want."
Suddenly, she woke up.
Her eyes flew open as she sucked in a sharp breath.
For several seconds she simply stared at the ceiling, unable to understand where she was.
What the hell was that?
It was vivid like a memory.
But it had to be a dream.
Because what else could it be?
Right?
Slowly, she sat up.
Green walls.
The old dresser.
The posters she'd insisted on hanging when she was thirteen.
Her bedroom.
The bedroom she'd slept in her entire life.
So what had that other room been?
Who were those weird people?
And why, in the dream, had she been willing to die for some random girl she didn’t know?
Caroline rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock.
6:30 a.m.
Too early for existential crises.
With a groan, she climbed out of bed and slipped on her robe.
Maybe seeing her mom would make her feel normal again.
The smell of fresh coffee drifted up from downstairs.
Apparently not everyone believed in sleeping in.
Caroline followed the scent into the kitchen.
Her mother stood by the counter, already dressed for work, a mug of coffee in one hand while breakfast sizzled in a pan nearby.
Liz looked up and smiled.
"Morning, honey."
Caroline couldn’t explain it, but suddenly it felt like she hadn’t seen her mom in years rather than for some hours.
Her feet moved almost against her will as she walked up to Liz and threw her arms around her.
“Caroline, is everything okay?”
Caroline didn’t say anything, just hugged her tightly and once she was done, Caroline just released her mom and asked her casually, “You’re up so early. Another crisis at the station?”
“I’m sorry, honey, but they found this couple not far from town border. It looks like animal attack but---”
Caroline raised her hand to object. “Mom, please, it’s simply too early for sordid details.”
“Alright, do you want some breakfast, I made fried eggs.”
“Do you know how to do anything else?”
“Caroline.”
“You’re right, it’s too early for that, too.”
Shuffling her feet, Caroline headed back to her room.
The strange dream still lingered in the back of her mind.
But for the moment, she pushed it away.
Today was the first day of school.
And that was dramatic enough.
*****************************************
Stefan opened his eyes.
For a moment he simply stared at the familiar ceiling above him.
Then he sat up so fast the bed creaked beneath him.
His attic bedroom.
The Salvatore Boarding House.
Years before Caroline and Alaric would turn it into a school for supernatural children.
Years before Caroline.
The thought hit him like a punch to the chest.
The last thing he remembered was peace.
Lexi laughing at something he could no longer remember.
Looking in on Caroline as she made the most difficult choice of her life.
A dying child.
A sacrifice.
An ending.
And now—
"Hey, Uncle Stefan, isn't today your first day of school? Or have you already reconsidered?"
Stefan's head snapped toward the doorway.
"Zach..."
The word escaped before he could stop it.
Zack was still alive.
And completely unaware that he was reliving this day for the second time.
Zach frowned.
"Uh... should I be worried?"
Stefan almost laughed.
Almost.
September 1st, 2009.
The realization settled over him with frightening clarity.
Not a dream.
Not a memory.
But reliving this day.
Again.
But why?
Out of all the days he had lived, why this one?
And more importantly—
Was he the only one who remembered?
Zach certainly didn't.
He was still standing there talking about some story he'd found in the morning paper.
A young couple dead near Mystic Falls.
Which meant Damon was here.
The realization brought an unexpected sense of relief.
Damon was alive.
His brother was alive.
But before Stefan could dwell on that thought, another name surfaced.
Caroline.
Oh God.
Caroline.
He could see her again.
Talk to her again.
And for one selfish moment, Stefan didn't care why he had been sent back.
He only cared that she was alive.
That she was somewhere in Mystic Falls, seventeen years old and probably completely unaware of what had happened.
If she remembered at all.
"Listen to this," Zach continued, completely oblivious to the war currently taking place inside Stefan's head. "'Twenty-four-year-old Darren Malloy and twenty-two-year-old Brooke Fenton were found dead by a local hunter approximately fifteen miles from Mystic Falls. Authorities suspect a wild animal attack.'"
Stefan swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood.
"I know."
"You know?"
Stefan walked toward the closet.
"I know who's responsible."
Zach stared at him.
"Seriously?"
Stefan pulled on a shirt and reached for his jacket.
"I'll handle it."
"You mean Damon?"
Stefan paused for only a second.
Leave it to Zach to reach the correct conclusion immediately.
"You two are the only vampires who've shown their faces around Mystic Falls in the last twenty years."
"Probably."
"Probably?" Zach repeated.
Stefan slipped into his leather jacket.
"I told you. I'll handle it."
His tone must have ended the conversation because Zach finally stopped pressing.
Together they walked downstairs.
Stefan's mind was already elsewhere.
Caroline.
School.
The possibility that she remembered nothing.
Or everything.
Or something in between.
By the time he stepped out the front door, Zach had stopped following him.
Stefan got into his car and gripped the steering wheel.
For a moment he simply sat there.
Everything looked exactly as he remembered it.
Except now he knew how the story ended.
Or at least he thought he did.
Stefan started the engine.
Then he drove toward Mystic Falls High School.
******************************
There were students everywhere.
The hallway buzzed with conversation and movement as teenagers rushed between classes, reunited with friends after the summer. Stefan noticed Elena and Bonnie first. They were walking down the hallway with their backs turned toward him. Matt stood by his locker while Tyler laughed with a group of teammates a little further down.
Then his eyes landed on a blonde girl at the far end of the corridor.
Caroline had once thrown it in his face that she remembered their first meeting perfectly. Every detail. What he had been wearing. What he had said. How he had smiled at her.
Stefan, meanwhile, hadn't even remembered what she was wearing.
She had been right to be annoyed.
Now, looking at her, he noticed everything.
The blue top. The jewelry. The way her hair curled around her shoulders. Even the makeup she had spent far too much time perfecting.
It felt like seeing her for the first time.
He knew it wasn't.
He was seeing her again.
But his brain refused to process it that way.
Because for him, in some strange way, it was the first time.
Caroline, his wife, had barely registered with him on this day the first time around. Back then he had been consumed by Elena, fascinated by a girl who looked exactly like Katherine.
If Elena hadn't looked like Katherine, would he have noticed her at all?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Elena was special.
But so was Caroline.
Even then.
Even when she was insecure, desperate for approval, talking too much and saying the wrong thing at exactly the wrong moment.
The woman he eventually married had always been there.
She had simply been buried beneath years of self-doubt.
Stefan had helped her find her way out once.
Maybe he could do it again.
Maybe this time she wouldn't have to go through quite so much pain to get there.
Before he even realized it, his feet were carrying him toward her.
Caroline was leaning against her locker, talking animatedly to two girls from her class. Her hands moved constantly as she spoke, emphasizing every point she made.
Stefan wasn't listening to what she was saying.
He didn't need to.
Some things never changed.
For a moment he simply stood there.
He had thought he would never see her again.
And somehow seeing her standing there, completely alive and completely unaware that she would one day be his wife, hit harder than waking up in 2009 ever had.
"Caroline."
The name left his lips before he could think better of it.
Caroline turned.
For the briefest moment something flickered across her face.
Confusion.
Recognition.
No.
Not recognition exactly.
More like the feeling of almost remembering something.
Then it vanished.
A bright smile spread across her face.
The smile of a girl who thought she was looking at a handsome new student and nothing more.
"Stefan Salvatore?" she asked in that familiar flirty voice.
Stefan couldn't do anything except smile and nod.
For a second he simply looked at her.
Then reality caught up with him.
Caroline would expect a reason for him to walk up to her.
And she was nowhere near ready to hear the truth.
So he settled on something more believable.
"I'm sorry. I just... someone told me you're the person to talk to if I need help. And right now I can't seem to find the school office."
Caroline's smile brightened instantly.
"It's basically around the corner. But I can take you there if you want."
There it was.
The flirting.
The eagerness.
The desperate need to be liked hiding underneath it all.
Stefan wanted to tell her she didn't have to try so hard.
That she never had.
But where would he even begin?
The last thing he wanted was for her to think she was doing something wrong.
So instead he did what he had done countless times over the years.
He smiled.
And let Caroline take control of the conversation.
By the time they reached the office, Caroline had given him a complete rundown of the school's social hierarchy.
Who was popular.
Who wasn't.
Who mattered.
And who definitely didn't.
"Stefan, I strongly suggest you stay away from the nerds if reputation happens to be important to you."
Stefan had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing.
Most people would have rolled their eyes.
Most people would have found her exhausting.
Stefan just found her adorable.
And if he laughed, Caroline would immediately assume she had said something stupid.
So he didn't.
Instead his eyes drifted toward Elena just as she disappeared into the men's room.
The first time around, he would have been waiting when she came out.
He would have talked to her.
Made her smile.
Helped her carry her grief.
He still intended to do exactly that.
So when they reached the office, Stefan stopped and turned toward Caroline.
"Thank you, Caroline, but I think I can take it from here."
"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged. "You probably don't need help talking to the help."
A second later she smiled.
"So... if you need anything else, let me know."
"I will."
Caroline smiled one last time before turning and walking away.
Stefan watched her go.
When she finally disappeared around the corner, he turned toward the men's room.
And froze.
The hallway had stopped moving.
Every student stood motionless.
Every conversation had fallen silent.
It was as though someone had pressed pause on the entire world.
"Don't follow Elena."
Stefan spun around.
A girl in a white dress stood behind him.
Someone he had never seen before.
"Not with the intentions you have right now."
Stefan stared.
The girl didn't give him time to speak.
"We weren't supposed to interfere. But I convinced them that you being you, you'd spend this entire second chance trying to save everyone. Body and soul. Even if it cost you your own happiness again."
"Then why send me back?"
The girl smiled faintly.
"Why do you think?"
Stefan frowned.
"You got your happy ending," she continued. "You made someone who loved you very happy. Then you sacrificed yourself and broke her heart."
"Caroline understood why I did it."
"Maybe. But she still paid the price for it."
Stefan didn't answer.
"You already saved Elena. You already saved Damon. You gave them a life filled with love, children, grandchildren and more second chances than most people ever get."
"So if I'm not here to save people," Stefan asked quietly, "why am I here?"
"There's a reason."
The girl stepped back.
"You'll figure it out."
"And if I start changing things?"
"You already have."
Stefan looked away.
She wasn't wrong.
"You can change whatever you want," she continued. "Just remember that every choice has consequences. You can't predict what one small change might set into motion."
"So what are you saying?"
The girl's smile softened.
"For once in your life, Stefan Salvatore, choose yourself."
And then she was gone.
The world lurched back into motion.
Noise returned.
Conversations resumed.
The hallway breathed again.
Stefan looked toward the men's room.
Any second now Elena would walk out.
The first time around, he would have been waiting.
But the deity was right.
He had already saved Elena.
He had already saved Damon.
He had already spent a lifetime putting everyone else's happiness ahead of his own.
Maybe this time he didn't have to.
Stefan turned around and walked away.
Away from Elena.
Ironically, their story had already ended.
****************************
“No, I know, Bonnie, I’m late,” Caroline told her best friend as she unlocked the front door. “I was supposed to join you at the Grill right after school, but then life happened and now I’m at home changing shoes because the heels I chose this morning don't agree with me anymore.”
“Caroline...” Bonnie sighed on the other end of the line. “Are you coming or not?”
“I am. Give me half an hour and I'll be there.”
“Twenty minutes.”
“Bonnie.”
“Twenty-five.”
“Fine.”
The call ended before Caroline could argue any further.
She tossed her phone onto the kitchen counter and immediately noticed a folded piece of paper beside a twenty-dollar bill.
Caroline already knew what it was before she picked it up.
I won't be home tonight.
Something came up.
Love you, sweetie.
Mom.
Caroline stared at the note for a moment.
Then she crumpled it in her hand and tossed it into the trash while only taking the cash.
“What else is new?” she muttered.
Shaking her head, Caroline headed upstairs and dropped onto her bed. The moment she kicked off her heels, her feet practically sighed in relief.
“Traitors,” she informed the shoes.
A few hours ago they had seemed like an excellent idea.
Now they felt like instruments of torture.
As she reached for another pair, her thoughts drifted back to Stefan Salvatore.
Seriously.
How was one person allowed to look like that?
The genes alone should have been illegal.
And out of every girl in school, he had chosen her to ask for help.
Caroline couldn't stop smiling.
“There is no way he actually needed directions to the office.”
Mystic Falls High wasn't exactly a maze.
“He knew exactly where it was.”
The smile grew.
“Any idiot could have told him where the office was.”
And yet he'd chosen her.
The day had already exceeded every expectation she'd had for the first day of school.
Then she remembered the flash.
The strange image that had appeared the moment she'd turned around and looked at him.
A white dress.
An aisle.
Flowers.
And Stefan standing at the end of it wearing a tuxedo and smiling at her.
The memory—or whatever it had been—had lasted less than a second.
Yet it still felt oddly real.
Not like something she had imagined.
More like something she had forgotten.
Caroline frowned.
That was ridiculous.
She'd never met Stefan Salvatore before today.
Which meant the entire thing had to be a product of her own imagination.
A very embarrassing imagination.
Apparently she'd found one attractive guy and immediately started planning a wedding.
“Can you get any more pathetic, Caroline Forbes?” she asked herself aloud.
She slipped into a different pair of shoes and stood.
Then she sighed.
“Probably.”
Grabbing her handbag, Caroline headed downstairs and out the front door.
A few minutes later she was driving toward the Grill.
Not because anybody was actually waiting for her.
Because they weren't.
They expected her to show up.
But waiting for her and expecting her weren't the same thing.
***************************
Stefan was still sitting in his car.
He had parked in the side alley behind the Grill. The last thing he needed was for someone to catch him drinking from a blood bag on his first day back in Mystic Falls.
On the way there, he had stopped by the hospital and helped himself to a small supply.
Thankfully, his control was exactly where he remembered it being at the end of his life, not where it had been in 2009.
Otherwise tonight would have been a disaster.
Finishing the last of the blood bag, he tossed it aside and looked toward the entrance of the Grill.
Groups of teenagers were filing inside.
The first time he'd attended this gathering, everything had been different.
Back then he had only been interested in Elena.
Back then he had thought he was beginning a love story.
Now he knew how that story ended.
And more importantly, he knew it wasn't the story he wanted to repeat.
He wasn't abandoning Elena.
He wasn't punishing Damon.
He wasn't choosing Caroline at anyone else's expense.
For once, he was simply refusing to make the same mistake twice.
Stefan got out of the car and headed inside.
The moment he stepped through the door, heads turned.
Bonnie and Matt looked at him with open curiosity.
Elena looked almost hopeful.
Like she expected him to walk over and start a conversation.
But Caroline—
Caroline lit up the second she saw him.
It was like someone had switched on a light.
She immediately abandoned the classmate she'd been talking to and started making her way toward him.
Without even realizing it, Stefan met her halfway.
"Hey," Caroline said brightly. "What made you come here?"
He smiled.
"I heard this was where everybody hangs out."
"Well, whoever told you that was right."
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"They don't exactly serve minors, but it's still the place to be."
Stefan chuckled.
"I'll keep that in mind."
"We could play pool."
The suggestion came out so quickly that Caroline immediately backtracked.
"Or not. We don't have to play pool. We could get food. The burgers are actually pretty good."
She paused.
"And the fries."
Another pause.
"Or we could do something else."
Stefan smiled.
Some things never changed.
"How about we get a booth? And just talk."
Not because there was much Caroline could tell him about herself that he didn't already know.
He just knew how much a little genuine attention meant to her back then.
"Besides," Stefan added, glancing around the room, "everyone's staring."
Caroline looked around.
"Oh."
Then she lowered her voice.
"Okay, that's actually a little uncomfortable."
Stefan laughed.
"See?"
"Booth?" Caroline declared.
"Booth."
They made it halfway there before Caroline suddenly stumbled.
Her hand shot out and grabbed the edge of a nearby table.
Stefan was beside her instantly.
"Caroline?"
"I'm okay."
"You don't look okay."
She swallowed.
"I just got dizzy for a second."
Stefan guided her into the booth anyway.
He helped her sit down and she admitted the truth to him, “I’ve been getting these flashes ever since meeting you.”
“Flashes?” Stefan asked curiously as he sat down at the opposite side of the table.
“Never mind, I don’t want you to think I’m crazy.”
“I won’t.”
“Still, telling you won’t raise my stock in your eyes, so let’s change the subject.” Caroline laughed nervously.
Stefan put his hand gently on hers on the table and slightly squeezing it, he told her, “Caroline, you can tell me anything. It won’t change my opinion of you, I promise.”
“Okay, well… when we met at school, I saw myself in a wedding dress and then I just thought I was wishing for it so badly that it came to life, but now…” Caroline trailed off.
Stefan realized that these were not figments of her imagination. That she probably saw a glimpse of their wedding day.
“And now? What did you see now?”
“I was calling you, I looked exactly as I do now, like I hadn’t aged a day, but the same time I looked more sophisticated, exactly like in the wedding montage.”
“Alright. You were calling me and then what happened?”
“I cried and I left you a voicemail, telling you, “Stefan, please call me. Please.” She stopped for a moment to remember her exact words. ‘I need you to know that I understand. I love you. I will love you forever. I understand.’ Those were my exact words.”
For a moment Stefan felt like he had been hit by a truck. He knew those words. It’s the last words she had ever spoken to him. The last time she told him she loved him and that she would always love and never forget him.
Caroline palmed her forehead, hiding her face. “Oh my god, you either think I’m a complete basket case or that I’m already clinging to you like we’re meant to be or something.”
“No,” Stefan shook his head. “Nothing like that. I believe you really saw what you described and that doesn’t make you crazy.”
“Really?” Caroline asked unsure.
“Really, but promise me, that if you have any more flashes like that you tell me about them right away.”
“Why?” Caroline asked.
Because they're memories.
Because they're real.
Because you're remembering us.
Instead he said:
"You shouldn't have to deal with them alone."
Caroline just nodded and smiled happily, “Okay.”
“So let’s talk about anything you want. School, your friends, your mom or dad. Whatever you feel like.”
“Okay,” Caroline smiled and just like that, the previous drama with the flashes was forgotten and instead she focused on something else that intrigued her mind: “Did you hear about Ticki?”
“Ticki?” Stefan asked amused.
“Yeah, she just got dumped today.”
“Oh,” Stefan couldn’t help but smile as he nodded and said, “Tell me all about it.”
And Caroline did, every detail.
She started with Ticki.
Moved on to three other breakups.
Two cheating scandals.
One teacher rumor.
And by the end of the evening Stefan knew more about the social politics of Mystic Falls High than any sane person ever should.
Neither of them noticed the man standing outside the Grill.
Hidden in the darkness beyond the windows.
Watching.
Watching Caroline laugh.
Watching Stefan laugh with her.
Watching them sit together in a booth as though they had known each other for years instead of hours.
His expression never changed.
After a long moment, he turned away.
And disappeared into the night.