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When they fell in love, they were young. Different then than they were now.
Atsumu had a head of fried, yellow hair (no matter how much he insisted it was blond), and an ego the size of a mountain. Couple that with some daddy issues and he was just a bundle of snark and confidence. Kiyoomi was overly cautious, wary of anyone that wasn’t his cousin. He had no issues being mean, and it caused a lot of issues.
But they worked.
Until they didn’t, that is.
Two years into dating, and a year after graduating high school, they called it quits. Atsumu had just been named starter on the Jackals, and Kiyoomi was up to his ears with university coursework and exams, harder now in his second year. Both of them knew they weren’t putting in the right amount of effort for a relationship, but neither wanted to say anything. They kept fanning the flame of their relationship, unwilling to let it die, until it did.
“Atsumu.” The setter knew it was coming just from Kiyoomi’s tone. He curled his fingers into his palms, digging his nails into the flesh there.
“Yeah?” His voice came out hoarse, so he cleared his throat, turning around to see Kiyoomi stood there with his hands fidgeting at his front, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.
“I…” It was clearly hard on him. “I think maybe… we should end this.”
“This…”
“Us… our relationship,” Kiyoomi clarified. “I just… it’s not fair on you… on either of us. You’re starter now and I have three more years of university left. Neither of us is putting our full effort into each other and I… I don’t think it’s fair.”
“I know,” Atsumu’s lips turned down. Of course he knew, he just never wanted to say it. He was willing to keep fighting, even if it meant burning parts of himself to keep Kiyoomi warm. But then again, he did always love too much, too hard. “I know, Omi, I…”
“I love you. I will always love you. But maybe this just isn’t the right time for us.” Kiyoomi shrugged, like Atsumu wasn’t dying on the inside.
“I’ll always love ya too.” Atsumu replied, helplessly. What else was he supposed to say?
“Atsumu,” Kiyoomi said, his tone a lot more serious. “Don’t leave my life after this. You’re my best friend, I… I can’t lose you.”
“Kiyoomi…” Atsumu thought he sounded a little scared, and he couldn’t have that. “Not in a million years, yer stuck with me. Yer my best friend too, don’t forget that.”
And so, a two year long relationship came to a sudden, screeching end. No dramatics, no yelling, no tears (certainly not in front of each other). They continued making dinner, watched a movie and went to bed. The following morning, Kiyoomi saw Atsumu off at the train station, and Atsumu cancelled his next visit to Tokyo silently. A lot changed after that, but at the same time nothing did. Atsumu went to Tokyo less, but he still went. Kiyoomi still watched every single one of Atsumu’s games, but no longer in person.
Atsumu never kissed anyone after Kiyoomi, he took no one home when they went out to drink after matches. He took everyone’s teasing when someone hit on him, knowing it was light-hearted because most of them knew about him and Kiyoomi. He spent a lot of time with Bokuto and Akaashi, actually.
“I’m not like… cockblockin’ ya, am I?” Atsumu drawled one night, years after the breakup.
“No, Atsumu-kun.” Akaashi replied, endlessly patient.
“We like spending time with you, Tsum-Tsum.” Bokuto nodded enthusiastically, taking a swig from his beer.
“Ya guy’re great.” Atsumu sniffled.
“No tears, no tears!” Bokuto fussed.
“S’rry, ‘m jus’…” Atsumu sighed. “Try-outs are next week…”
“Ah, Sakusa-kun?” Akaashi guessed.
“He’s done with uni now, so…” Atsumu shrugged. “Messaged me the other week ta say he signed up fer tryouts.”
“Aw, Tsum-Tsum.” Bokuto made a sympathetic face.
“Wish we’d stuck together like the two of ya.”
“Every relationship is different, Atsumu-kun,” Akaashi said. “You’re both different people than Kou and I, so your relationship works differently too. You’ve remained friends too after breaking-up, that signifies something. Most people I know wouldn’t stay friends, best friends even, with their exes.”
“’S like ya said… we’re best friends. He’s my best friend. Can’t imagine life without him.” Atsumu said honestly.
“That’s a step in the right direction. Who knows, maybe now is the right time for the two of you.”
Atsumu was at the gym the morning of the tryouts, so he didn’t get a chance to drop by until the practice was wrapping up. It was on his way home, so he thought he might as well pop in and see how it was going. He walked in just in time to see Foster dismissing everyone and Bokuto nearly instantly tackling a certain red-haired man who recently came back from Brazil.
“Atsumu-san!” Hinata noticed him over Bokuto’s shoulder.
“Sho-kun,” Atsumu walked over, his gym bag slung over his shoulder. “Long time no see.”
“In person you mean, we spoke only last week!” Hinata laughed, giving him a fist-bump.
“Sorry I couldn’t catch the whole tryout, how’d it go?”
“Hinata was great!” Bokuto said excitedly.
“Yer biased.” Atsumu shot back.
“It was okay, I think!”
“He did great,” Kiyoomi’s voice interrupted and Atsumu whirled around to see a freshly showered Kiyoomi approaching. “Atsumu.”
“Kiyoomi! How were tryouts?” Atsumu gave him a side-hug, relishing in the feeling of Kiyoomi pressed against his side for a second before he let go.
“Good. I think we’ll both make it.” Kiyoomi shrugged.
“You think so, Sakusa-san?” Hinata beamed. “You were great by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“Headin’ back ta Tokyo?” Atsumu asked. “An’ ya, Sho-kun?”
“Train’s not till tonight.” Kiyoomi shook his head.
“I’m staying the night with Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san.” Hinata replied.
“Sheesh, ya sure? I got a spare room if ya want it?” Atsumu winced, remembering the one time he stayed over after a night of drinking and could only hear the couple having sex in the next room.
“It’s fine, we’re gonna watch a movie together,” Hinata waved him off. “You’re welcome to join!”
“Maybe fer the movie. I’m not stayin’ in that flat overnight again,” Atsumu shuddered. “Anyways, I was gonna head ta ‘Samu’s if ya wanted ta come?”
“Does he have umeboshi?” Kiyoomi asked.
“He’s always got umeboshi, Omi.” Atsumu shook his head.
“Count me in!” Hinata cheered.
“I’ll come too!” Bokuto chimed in. “Keiji isn’t off till later.”
“We’ll go out again with Keiji-kun once Kiyoomi and Sho-kun get on the team.” Atsumu promised. They left the gym, following Atsumu to the Onigiri Miya branch in Osaka, where Osamu happened to be this time instead of his Tokyo branch. He spent more time here than the other branch in all fairness.
“Myaa-sam!” Bokuto bounded in, throwing the door open. Thankfully, the shop was empty and no one gave them weird looks.
“Bokuto,” Osamu greeted. “‘Tsumu.”
“Yo, brought Sho-kun an’ Omi-kun.” Atsumu held the door open for them.
“Osamu-san!” Hinata waved enthusiastically.
“Long time no see.” Kiyoomi greeted him, and it really had been. Unlike Atsumu, Osamu had no reason to stay in contact with Kiyoomi after the pair broke up, so he didn’t see him as often anymore.
“Hinata, Sakusa,” Osamu nodded. “Yeah, it has been.”
“They jus’ finished tryouts fer the Jackals.” Atsumu informed him, taking a seat at the bar. Kiyoomi sat by his side and Bokuto on his other, with Hinata at the end.
“Huh, picked the Jackals in the end, did ya?” Osamu asked Kiyoomi. “I mean… I knew there was no way Hinata was going ta choose the Adlers, but…”
“I have to beat Kageyama, so what better team?” Hinata cocked his head. “Besides, we haven’t gotten replies yet.”
“They’ll accept you.” Bokuto waved him off.
“Of course I chose the Jackals,” Kiyoomi sniffed, offended. “I want Atsumu to set for me. Besides, I’ve had enough of playing with my cousin to even entertain his ridiculous attempts to get me to try out for EJP.”
“Wow.” Osamu shot Atsumu a look, a little wide-eyed and the blond shrugged.
“Feed us, will ya? We’re payin’ customers.”
“No yer not!” Osamu smacked his shoulder with a towel. “Ya’ll claim family discount and leave without payin’!”
“I only did that once!” Atsumu defended himself. “Once!”
“Whatever, ya scrub. Stay there.” Osamu grumbled, disappearing into the kitchen.
“I thought you guys would have calmed down as you got older.” Hinata commented.
“Rude, Sho-kun. But no, part of ‘Samu and I’s relationship is the bickerin’,” Atsumu rolled his eyes. “Ya wouldn’t get it.”
“Yes, well… my sister is a lot younger than I am…” Hinata nodded slowly.
“I only have sisters,” Bokuto added. “They’re both older.”
“That checks out…” Atsumu hummed under his breath. “An’ you, Omi-kun, are the baby of the family.”
“I wouldn’t word it that way, but I am the youngest of three, yes.” Kiyoomi rolled his eyes fondly.
“So, the baby.” Atsumu repeated.
“How much older are your siblings, Sakusa-san?” Hinata asked.
“Thirties and fourties. They’re both married and they have kids.”
“Omi’s nieces and nephews are so adorable.” Atsumu chimed in.
“They are pretty cute,” Kiyoomi assented. “They love Atsumu.”
“Atsumu-oji!” Two children, a boy and a girl, launched themselves at Atsumu. He got down on one knee and caught them both, one in each arm.
“Hello, ya little rascals. Not givin’ yer mother too much trouble are ya?” Atsumu gave them an appraising look.
“No!”
“Never!”
“Just their mother?” Kiyoomi asked, exchanging a look with his sister, their mother.
“Well, mothers are more important, no?” Atsumu cocked his head to the side.
“Right you are, Atsumu-kun.” Kiyoomi’s sister, Kiyoko, nodded with a big smile.
“Where’s Kaito-nii?” Kiyoomi asked.
“On his way. They had to make a detour back home because Rika-chan forgot her volleyball,” Kiyoko replied. “She’s going to hound you.”
“Not me, ‘Tsumu. She wants to be a setter, not a hitter.” Kiyoomi shook his head, watching his boyfriend with a fond look. He was such a natural with kids, especially young ones. Kiyoko’s children were twins, so he felt a sort of kinship with them, and they were attached to him from the day they met him, only more fascinated by the fact that he was a twin too.
“He’s a keeper, Kiyo.” Kiyoko said gently.
“I know, Nee-san.”
“‘Tsumu’s always been good with kids,” Osamu chimed in as he returned with their food, putting the plates down in front of them and leaning against the counter. “Used ta teach volleyball to the first-years in Inarizaki.”
“I was Captain, it was my job.” Atsumu replied, stuffing an onigiri in his mouth.
“Yer not Captain anymore, but still when we go back, ya do trainin’ camps.” Osamu gave him a challenging look.
“We should do a camp.” Bokuto said, serious all of a sudden.
“What?” Kiyoomi furrowed his eyebrows.
“That’s a great idea, Bokuto-san!” Hinata gasped. “How do we do that?”
“Well, it might have to wait until you’re accepted into the Jackals…” Bokuto pouted.
“I can bring it up ta Meian-san an’ Coach Foster tomorrow?” Atsumu offered. “‘S long as ya back me up.”
“Of course I will!” Bokuto nodded fervently.
They stayed at Onigiri Miya until the sun began to set and then Kiyoomi excused himself to head to the train station.
“Go on ahead of me ta Bok-kun’s place. I’ll walk Omi an’ meet ya there.” Atsumu stood, picking his bag up and following Kiyoomi out the door with a wave to his brother.
“You didn’t have to walk me there.” Kiyoomi commented as they began heading in the direction of the station.
“I know.” Atsumu replied simply. There was no need for conversation between them, silence was comfortable as they walked side by side through the streets Atsumu was so familiar with. Eventually, they got to the train station and Kiyoomi checked his platform.
“Thank you for walking me.”
“Ya don’t need ta thank me fer that.” Atsumu gave him a bewildered look.
“Still,” Kiyoomi shrugged. “Message, when you get to Bokuto’s place.”
“I will if ya do when yer home.”
“You know I will.”
“Safe travels, Omi,” Atsumu smiled. “I’ll see ya back here again soon, won’t I?”
“Duh.”
“We were always goin’ ta end up here,” He hummed. “On the same team.”
“Of course we were,” Kiyoomi’s tone went a little sharp.
“Go on, or ya’ll miss yer train.” Atsumu laughed, but it sounded off to Kiyoomi. He frowned, noting the odd tone to Atsumu’s voice, the strained smile and the weird shine in his eyes. Before he could say anything though, a whistle blew from one of the platforms.
“See you soon.” Kiyoomi cupped Atsumu’s cheek for a second before he whirled away, running to catch his train. Atsumu stood there a second, pressing a hand to that cheek with a bewildered expression on his face before it crumpled. He balled his fists up and took a deep breath in.
“No cryin’ in public, ‘Tsumu.” He murmured to himself, turning to walk back to Bokuto’s place, where the promise of his friends, a movie and Akaashi’s warm blankets kept him going.
Miya Atsumu on New Teammates, the MSBY Jackals, and Being a Setter
By Okumura Eiji
10th June 2018
[image: Atsumu mid-set]
Miya Atsumu-senshu has become a house-hold name at this point. There is no volleyball fan in this country, or any V-League follower, who doesn’t know his name. Boasting one of the most challenging serves to combat in the V-League and one of the top setters to boot, he’s helped bring Osaka’s MSBY Black Jackals up in the ranks.
Miya-senshu was kind enough to accept this interview on one of his off-days, travelling all the way to Tokyo for it.
OKUMURA: Thank you again for being here today, Miya-senshu.
MIYA: It was no trouble, thanks for having me.
OKUMURA: You didn’t have any trouble finding the studio, right?
MIYA: No, no, all good. I’ve been to Tokyo many times now, I don’t get lost anymore.
OKUMURA: Impressive! Now, I wanted to ask about the new members MSBY Black Jackals announced just a few days ago as part of their roster.
MIYA: I knew you were going to.
OKUMURA: Hinata Shoyo-senshu and Sakusa Kiyoomi-senshu.
MIYA: Those are my new hitters.
OKUMURA: Now, I know a little about Sakusa-senshu from being a sports journalist. I’ve been to several collegiate games and I understand he was named collegiate MVP?
MIYA: Yeah, Kiyoomi’s real impressive.
OKUMURA: First name basis? Do you know Sakusa-senshu well?
MIYA: Well is an understatement, Okumura-kun. Kiyoomi and I were both in the National Youth Training Camp in our first and second years of high school. We played each other in Nationals too.
OKUMURA: Oh wow! I didn’t know you’d known each other that long!
MIYA: Yeah, yeah. Long friendship. He’s my best friend, you know? We stayed friends even after high school, through his years at Waseda. And now, we’re on the same team.
OKUMURA: Must feel nice.
MIYA: Really does. I’m lucky to have so many good hitters.
OKUMUA: Speaking of your hitters, the other newcomer… Hinata Shoyo-senshu.
MIYA: Ah, Sho-kun, yes.
OKUMURA: I’m afraid I don’t know very much about him. He seems to be part of the same generation as you all dubbed the Monster Generation. From my research, I’ve found out he went to the same high school as Kageyama-senshu as well?
MIYA: Sho-kun went to Brazil after high school. He only came back recently and tried out for the Jackals. He was training in beach volleyball to get stronger and he really is. He did go to school with Tobio-kun, yes. They were a dangerous combination to face on the court. They beat my school in my second year Spring Tournament but we got them back the following year.
OKUMURA: And now Hinata-senshu is on your team.
MIYA: And now Sho-kun is on my team, yeah. I told him all those years ago I’d set for him, and I don’t make promises I can’t keep.
OKUMURA: How has it been, adjusting to new hitters alongside the ones you’re already working with?
MIYA: So fun. I relish in it, I love being a setter. It helps that they’re both my friends and we kept in contact over the years, so adjusting to them is easier than it was to adjust to Bok-kun, Meian-san, Barnes-san and Adriah-kun.
OKUMURA: It must be fun, of course, getting to work with such talented individuals.
MIYA: It’s a dream come true.
OKUMURA: Did you always want to be a professional volleyball player?
MIYA: Since I started playing volleyball. Thought my brother and I would take over the volleyball world.
OKUMURA: Does your brother not play anymore, Miya-senshu?
MIYA: He quit after high school to open an onigiri shop. Onigiri Miya, maybe you’ve heard of it. He’s got a branch here in Tokyo, and one in Osaka.
OKUMURA: Impressive. Your brother quit, but many of your teammates from Inarizaki went pro, didn’t they?
MIYA: Aran-san plays for the Falcons, Sunarin plays for EJP, and Heisuke-kun plays for VC Kanagawa, so yeah.
OKUMURA: I bet it’s fun when your teams play each other.
MIYA: You bet. Especially when it’s EJP because now not only is Sunarin there, but Kiyoomi’s cousin, Motoya-kun that is, plays Libero so there’s more at stake.
(click here to read more)
Atsumu quickly got used to seeing Kiyoomi everyday, something that had never happened in his life. Even during their relationship, they had never been at a stage where they could feasibly see each other every single day.
It was odd.
Osamu called him a masochist, for continuing to be best friends with the guy he was still in love with years after they’d broken up, for playing on a team with the same guy. But what else was he supposed to do?
He played volleyball, that’s all he could do. They continued practicing, building up to their fated match-up with the Adlers at the beginning of the season. It was a big game of course, being the first of the season and also considering how well known and powerful both teams were. But it was also the first game that both Kiyoomi and Hinata (now that Barnes was sitting out because of his injuries) would be playing in as starters on the Jackals.
They won. Of course they did. They won, and Atsumu might have cried even though it was just one game but it was his first game with Kiyoomi, ever. The person he’d dreamed of playing with since he saw him hit the nastiest spike back when they were fifteen and still growing.
“How ya feelin’?” Osamu asked him later that night at the celebration in one of the nearby izakaya’s, one Hinata’s old classmates recommended.
“Good.” Atsumu mumbled, taking a swig of his beer. He didn’t like to drink much during the season, but a beer or two couldn’t hurt.
“Jus’ good?” Osamu raised an eyebrow. “Ya finally played a game with Sakusa, and yer feelin’ jus’ good?”
“What do ya want me ta say, ‘Samu?” Atsumu huffed. “That it’s a dream come true, that I’ve been waitin’ fer this moment fer fuckin’ I dunno how many years? ‘Cause it is, and I have beem.”
“Yer a dumbass, I dunno why ya put yerself through this shit.”
“Through what?” Atsumu asked, exhausted. This seemed to be a never-ending conversation with Osamu in the years since him and Kiyoomi broke up.
“Ya fuckin’ know what, ya scrub,” Osamu ruffled his hair roughly. “’Tsumu… he doesn’t know, does he?”
“Of fuckin’ course not,” Atsumu snorted. “An’ he won’t. We’re good, ‘Samu. He’s here, on my team finally after years. I’m not gonna ruin it.”
“Ya’ll ruin yerself like this.” Osamu warned.
“Fuck off.”
“Any plans for the winter break, Atsumu-san?” Hinata asked a month later as they all got changed after practice, towelling themselves off from the showers.
“You and Myaa-sam are going back to Hyogo aren’t you?” Bokuto asked. “Isn’t that what you do every year?”
“Usually,” Atsumu nodded, draping his towel around his neck to pull a pair of sweatpants on over his boxers. “‘Samu’s goin’ on holiday with Rin, so it’s jus’ me.”
“What!” Hinata squawked. “You’ll be alone?”
“Not alone,” Atsumu chuckled. “My mother’s in Hyogo. Aran-san’ll be back, and I’ll get ta see Kita-san too.”
“Still!” Bokuto pouted.
“What can ya do?” Atsumu shrugged. “‘M not gonna tell ‘em ta not go on holiday.”
“What about you, Omi-san?” Hinata asked Kiyoomi, who walked in from the showers, already fully changed into a black sweat set, with a matching black mask covering the bottom half of his face. He tended to wear them in the locker rooms, but not as much outside in the open air.
“Staying here.” Kiyoomi shrugged.
“Why?” Bokuto wailed.
“Atsumu.” Kiyoomi gestured to the door with his head and the blond nodded, quickly tossing a hoodie on and gathering his things in his gym bag to follow behind Kiyoomi.
“Stayin’ in Osaka, huh?” Atsumu asked.
“My parents are vacationing in Egypt. Kiyoko-nee and her family are going to Hokkaido and I don’t like skiing so,” He shrugged. “Kaito-nii’s taking his family to Okinawa.”
“Toya-kun?”
“He’s staying in Tokyo, booked himself a week in some… retreat on the outskirts.”
“Ya could come ta Hyogo with me if ya wanted.” Atsumu suggested, knowing full well Kiyoomi had been to Hyogo once many years ago back when they were still dating. It was the one and only time he’d been there, and it was to meet Atsumu’s mother. But considering he had been a student (whether in high-school or university) for the entirety of their relationship, he didn’t have much free time to come and visit. Unlike Atsumu, who’s only spending was on tickets to come see Kiyoomi in Tokyo.
“Are you sure?” Kiyoomi sounded hesitant.
“Kiyoomi… when am I not? Ya’ll be alone here, and it’s jus’ Okan and I at home. It’ll be peaceful.”
“You don’t have to give me a sales pitch,” Kiyoomi rolled his eyes fondly. “I just meant will your mother be okay with it?”
“Ya mean does she still like ya?” Atsumu snorted. “Don’t even worry about that, she’s got no issues with ya.”
“Okay.” Kiyoomi relented.
“Okay?”
“I’ll come to Hyogo with you.”
omi-omi
i’m outside!
Coming.
When Kiyoomi joined him, Atsumu smiled at him, offering paper cup of something steaming. He had one in his other hand for himself, a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder too.
“What’s this?”
“Coffee, what else?” Atsumu snarked. “I know how ya get in the mornin’ without yer coffee.”
“Whatever.” Kiyoomi muttered, taking a sip and relishing in the warmth that rushed through his body, enjoying the bitter taste that washed over his tongue.
“Come on, train won’t be there forever.”
Contrary to popular belief, Atsumu was always on time… usually even early. People liked to say he picked it up from Kiyoomi but in truth he’d been this way even in his childhood. Of course, he was sure being with Kiyoomi only enhanced that. In the end, they made it to the train station with much time to spare and Kiyoomi waited on the platform for the train to be declared ready to board while Atsumu disappeared somewhere.
“Omi-kun,” Atsumu appeared at his side and Kiyoomi looked over without even flinching. “Breakfast.”
“Starting your break from volleyball already, huh? Letting yourself go?” Kiyoomi said sarcastically, accepting the plastic bag he was handed. “Train station breakfast… been a while…”
“Yes, yes, rich city boy, we know…” Atsumu sighed. “There’s nothin’ egregious in there. Onigiri, sandwich, puddin’ cup an’ protein shake.”
“Impressive.” Kiyoomi drawled.
“Shut up, ya menace,” Atsumu shoved him with his shoulder. “Come on, we’re boardin’.”
The trip was only about an hour and a half so they settled into their seats side-by-side, bags in the overhead baggage hold, and pulled down the tables in front of them to dig into breakfast. After they were done, Atsumu made a show of cleaning one half of a pair of earbuds with a sanitising wipe before he offered it to Kiyoomi, stating he had a game to watch if Kiyoomi wanted to join (he did want to).
They didn’t even get to finish the game before the train pulled into the right station and Atsumu stood. Kiyoomi followed him off the train and through the vaguely familiar station he hadn’t visited in years. It was the closest Shinkansen station to Atsumu’s house but he lived further out so they had a ways to go.
“Aran-san!” Atsumu waved when they got out of the station and into the frigid air.
“Atsumu. Sakusa-kun.” Aran hugged Atsumu, nodding a greeting at Kiyoomi.
“We didn’t make ya wait too long, did we?” Atsumu asked, putting his bag in the back of the car and offering to take Kiyoomi’s too.
“I only jus’ got here, yer fine.” Aran shook his head.
“Thank you for taking the time to come.” Kiyoomi said, polite as the day he first met Aran.
“It was no trouble,” Aran gestured to the car. “Come on, or yer mother will have my head for not bringin’ her baby boy home.”
“Yer exaggeratin’, Aran-san. Okan loves ya.” Atsumu protested, sitting in the back with Kiyoomi, much to the black-haired man’s surprise.
The drive back was relatively silent, Atsumu whispering to Kiyoomi that Aran liked to concentrate while he drove and didn’t tend to do it often with someone other than the ever-silent Kita Shinsuke in the car. He offered Kiyoomi one of his earbuds, waving the phone that was paused where they had stopped watching the game on the train earlier.
They passed the time like that, huddled up in the back of Aran’s car with Atsumu’s phone held between them, unaware of the fond smile Aran had on his face when he looked at them through the mirror. Kiyoomi knew they were getting closer when Atsumu tucked his phone away, sitting up straight and practically pushing his face up against the glass of the window.
The second the car stopped and Aran pulled the handbrake up, Atsumu had unbuckled his seat belt and practically launched himself out of the car, running up the dirt pathway to a house. The front door of the house opened when he got close and an older woman held her arms out, letting Atsumu fall into them, bending down to tuck his face in the crook of his neck.
“Hello, darlin’.”
“Okan.” He murmured.
“Let me get a look at ya,” She clicked her tongue, pulling away to cup his face with her wrinkled hands, turning it this way and that to examine. “Yer cheeks are sunken.”
“No they’re not!” Atsumu shook his head but she squished his cheeks.
“I’ll fatten ya up while yer here,” She promised. “Ah, Aran-kun… an’…”
“Miya-san,” Kiyoomi bowed, just as respectful as he had been all those years ago. “Nice to see you again, thank you for having me.”
“Kiyoomi-kun,” She said fondly, letting go of Atsumu to cup Kiyoomi’s cheek with one hand. “None of that nonsense. It’s Hiroko ta ya.”
“Hiroko-san.” He adjusted.
“There ya go,” Hiroko smiled. “It’s good ta see ya again too, sweetheart.”
“I’ll come back fer dinner with Shin, oba-san.” Aran told her and she nodded, waving him off.
“Come on, bring yer bags in and unpack. ‘Tsumu, ya’ll help with dinner, won’t ya?”
“’Course,” Atsumu nodded, surprised when Kiyoomi offered him his bag, having brought it from Aran’s car. “Thanks.”
“Not surprised you forgot it. Must be all that bleach getting to you finally.” Kiyoomi snipped, earning an offended sound from Atsumu as he took his shoes off by the door.
“Oi!”
They bickered up the stairs as Atsumu directed Kiyoomi to the guest room, where Suna used to sleep all the time, while he disappeared into his and Osamu’s room, dropping his things on the floor and staring at the remnants of their childhood. Post-it notes littered the board they each had pinned up behind their desks, each of which still had various notebooks and pens from high school scattered on them.
It felt odd being here without his brother.
He left his things as they were, wandering downstairs to the kitchen. If he knew Kiyoomi, and he liked to think he did, then it would be a while before he joined them. Atsumu’s mother was sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea in her hands and another steaming on the table. He could see the kettle was still on and a third mug stood beside it, empty. His heart warmed at the thought of his mother remembering Kiyoomi hadn’t come down to join them right away last time as well, busy disinfecting his room.
“Okan,” He greeted, sitting in front of her.
“Hi, darlin’,” She nudged the mug closer to him. “Unpacked?”
“I’ll leave it fer later.” He shook his head, taking the mug into his palms and sighing at the warmth that rushed through him.
“Now, ya know I don’t mind that ya brought him, but ya gonna explain why yer ex-boyfriend is here?” Hiroko raised an eyebrow as she sipped from her mug.
“I jus’… Sho-kun an’ Bok-kun were askin’ about the break, an’ I said it was jus’ gonna be you an’ me, no ‘Samu. Omi said he was stayin’ in Osaka, alone… so I thought it didn’t feel right an’ I asked him ta come with me,” Atsumu said. “Ya think maybe he felt a little bad fer me?”
“If I know anythin’ about that boy is that he doesn’t do somethin’ because he feels bad.” She gave him a look and he groaned, taking a big gulp of his tea.
“Ugh, yer right.”
“I always am,” She smiled smugly. “‘Tsumu, yer doin’ okay, aren’t ya? On the same team?”
“You an’ ‘Samu have ta be co-ordinatin’ this…” He rolled his eyes.
“Ya’ll be honest with yer mother, won’t ya?”
“Okan… I… it’s hard ta explain. I never used ta see him all the time when we were datin’. We were long distance from the beginnin’, an’ yeah it was hard but I was all in.”
“Ya always are.” She gave him a fond look. Atsumu had always put his 100% into everything, tried with his whole heart and soul to make it all work out because he’d be damned if something failed because he didn’t try hard enough.
“Blame it on that dickhead,” Atsumu spat the insult out, clearly referring to his deadbeat father. “Whatever, I tried back then. But… I guess not hard enough. I had games, trainin’ an’ all that, an’ he had class an’ exams an’… I dunno Okan, maybe he jus’ lost faith we could make it work.”
“Makin’ assumptions never works well fer anyone.” She said gently.
“I guess. He’s here now, actin’… actin’ like before but nicer because I know him. We stayed friends, ya know we did. Best friends, even. Except now I see him everyday an’ it hurts a little.” Atsumu shrugged, hiding his watery eyes behind the mug as he lifted it to take another sip.
“‘Tsumu…” Hiroko whispered, getting up to hug him. He leaned against her, imagining he was a kid again finding solace in his mother’s embrace after some kid at school said he was weird. “Oh, darlin’… ya wear yer heart on yer sleeve.”
“Can’t help it.”
By the time Kiyoomi made it downstairs, Atsumu’s tears were gone and both mugs had been emptied of tea and washed, sitting on the drying rack by the window to dry.
“Omi, there’s water in the kettle if ya want some tea.” Atsumu noticed when the black-haired man joined them, lifting his head from where he had been chopping potatoes and carrots for the curry.
“Thank you,” Kiyoomi murmured, switching the kettle on to heat up the water. “Is there anything I can do to help, Hiroko-san?”
“Drink yer tea, darlin’,” She said. “Then, if ya want ya can set the table. Fer five.”
So he drank his tea like she told him too, because who wouldn’t listen to Miya Hiroko with her soft, sweet smiles, her warm, wrinkled hands and her ruddy cheeks. Then, he set the table, putting five plates on placemats and a pair of chopsticks beside each chair. He added a spoon as well once he recognised they were making rice and curry along with karaage. Just as he was filling up a pitcher with room temperature water, Atsumu began frying the chicken, standing far from the stove with his arm outstretched, wielding a pair of chopsticks like a weapon to poke at the chicken in the oil.
“You look ridiculous.” Kiyoomi commented and Atsumu turned to him with an offended expression. Hiroko had disappeared now to gather some flowers from her garden to put in a vase on the table so it was just the two of them in the kitchen.
“Omi-kun! Rude!” Atsumu gasped. “Won’t be so ridiculous when I burn yer fuckin’ karaage, huh?”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I wouldn’t,” He shook his head. “But only ‘cause Okan would kill me.”
“Your mother’s a miracle worker for raising you and your brother. And you turned out somewhat decent too, so props to her.” Kiyoomi said, sitting at the smaller kitchen table. He’d laid all their plates out on the other table in the main living area, the one low to the ground and surrounded by soft pillows for them to sit on instead of chairs.
“She’s great, isn’t she?” Atsumu smiled, all soft. “We must’ve made her life hell but she did her best fer us. It’s not easy bein’ a single mother, especially ta twins like us.”
“She did wonderfully.” Kiyoomi agreed, softening. Not long after Atsumu finished frying up the chicken and plating it, the doorbell rang. Atsumu rid himself of his apron and opened the door, Kiyoomi only a few steps behind him.
“Kita-san!” Atsumu crowed happily, hugging a man with white and black-tipped hair.
“Atsumu,” Kita replied warmly. “It’s good ta see ya.”
“Good ta see ya too!” Atsumu moved aside to let him in. “Come in, come in. Aran-san, hey.”
“Hey menace.” Aran ruffled his hair, following Kita inside.
“Sakusa-kun, long time no see.” Kita blinked when he noticed Kiyoomi.
“It has been, Kita-san. How have you been?”
“Well, thank ya.”
“Can we have this discussion at the table?” Atsumu complained. “I’ve been fryin’ chicken for ages an’ it smells so good.”
“Where’s yer mother?” Aran asked.
“Pickin’ flowers. Think I heard the backdoor jus’ a second ago though.” True to his word, Hiroko appeared and hugged both of the two men that had just arrived, ushering all of them to the table. She sat at the head, with Atsumu on one side and Aran on the other. Kiyoomi took the seat next to Atsumu and Kita the one beside Aran.
“Looks good.” Aran commented.
“Please, eat.” She encouraged them.
For a while, it almost felt like Atsumu and Kiyoomi were back together again. Atsumu’s head spun as Kiyoomi’s shoulder and thigh pressed against his, as he piled food onto Atsumu’s plate before his own, as he smiled and talked with his mother and people he considered more family than friends. It felt like he’d gotten in a time-machine and shot himself back to the first time Kiyoomi came to Hyogo and he couldn’t wrap his head around it. He felt guilty… wrong in a way for pretending like they were still together, for indulging in something that wasn’t real.
He kept thinking about it even after Kita and Aran went home after dinner, even after they tidied up the table and him and Kiyoomi washed the dishes. Well, he washed and Kiyoomi dried them, and it felt so domestic he almost wanted to cry. He kept thinking about it even after his mother went to bed, and Kiyoomi excused himself to also go to bed, leaving Atsumu in the kitchen alone with his thoughts. He put his jacket on and sat on the steps by the front door, letting the cold winter air wash over him. It wasn’t long before someone joined him and he looked up at the sound of the door opening to see Kiyoomi stepping outside in a hoodie and pyjama pants, socks and slippers covering his feet.
“It’s late.”
“Couldn’t sleep.” Atsumu huffed, watching his breath appear in the air.
“How come?” Kiyoomi sat beside him, not close enough to touch but enough that Atsumu could feel the warmth emanating from him. He opened his mouth to reply before closing it, jaw clenched and looking down at the fingers he’d curled into his palms tightly. ”Did someone do something? Did… Did I do something?”
“It’s not…” Atsumu stood, releasing a frustrated breath and paced in front of the house with his hands in his pockets. ”It’s not ya, it’s me.”
And how cliche was that line?
“Maybe you shouldn’t have asked me to come.” Kiyoomi said, low enough that Atsumu might have believed he wasn’t supposed to hear it.
“Fuckin’ – Kiyoomi! What?” Atsumu turned to look at him, eyes wide and a furious expression on his face. “What the fuck is wrong with ya? I – it has been one day an’ I’m the one losin’ his mind. Ya keep… yer bein’ nice ta me, ya have been since ya joined the Jackals. Ya said yes ta comin’ with me, ya – yer touchin’ me an’ sittin’ close an’ smilin’ an’! Fuck! I feel like I’m losin’ my mind because it feels like yer my boyfriend again but I know yer not because… because ya broke up with me.”
“’Tsumu…” Kiyoomi said softly.
“No, no, let me… let me talk or I’ll never fuckin’ get this out an’ it’ll eat me up inside,”Atsumu ran his hands through his hair, messing it up. “I thought we could make it work before, but we didn’t. An’ – an’ I’m sorry if I fucked somethin’ up on my end. I never meant ta make ya feel like I wasn’t tryin’ hard enough, god knows I’ve seen how that left my mother. I – I thought I was tryin’ enough, but maybe I let the team take precedence over ya. Couldn’t we have worked through it? Couldn’t ya have given me a chance to work through it? To keep fightin’? I jus’… I thought we were worth fightin’ for, Kiyoomi. I dunno.”
“I felt like I was holding you back.” Kiyoomi said, breaking the silence that followed Atsumu’s outburst.
“What?”
“You were starting setter on a Division 1 team in the League. I…” Kiyoomi bit his lip. “You kept coming to see me even between your games and training, and I thought it must be so exhausting for you. I thought it was holding you back, that I was holding you back.”
“Yer an asshole for thinkin’ I’d let anythin’ hold me back,” Atsumu said wetly, eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “How fuckin’ dare you?”
“Atsumu.”
“Let me finish ya fuckin’ dick,” Atsumu snarled, marching closer to yank Kiyoomi up to his feet and grip his hoodie tightly. “Volleyball was my first love, an’ I will always treasure it. I put my all inta volleyball, an’ I’ll never change that. I wouldn’t let anythin’ hold me back from that. What, ya think I’m some amateur who can’t handle bein’ a pro athlete an’ a relationship at the same time?”
“No, I –”
“Ya should’ve had more faith in us… in me…” Atsumu shook his head, going to let go of Kiyoomi but the dark-haired man grabbed his hands before he could, keeping them attached to his hoodie.
“It’s not you I didn’t have faith in, it was me,” Kiyoomi said softly. “I knew you’d keep pushing if I didn’t end it, and like I said when we broke up. I didn’t think it was fair to you because I couldn’t give you all that I had, because half of me was focussed on university, and you deserved all of me.”
“Who the fuck are ya ta decide what I do an’ don’t deserve?” Atsumu grumbled, already the furious expression on his face softening.
“Someone who knows what a bleeding heart you have,” Kiyoomi replied, taking a deep breath. “Someone… someone who is sorely regretting not trying hard enough all those years ago.”
“Yeah, well… that someone needs ta stop givin’ me mixed signals an’ tell me what the fuck he wants.”
“Let me take you on a date,” Kiyoomi said, an almost pleading tone to his words. “You don’t even have to be my boyfriend yet, just… let me take you on a date. Wherever.”
“Wherever, huh? Rich boy wallet can handle it, I suppose,” Atsumu snarked. “So, ya want a date, not fer us to be partners again?”
“No, I –” Kiyoomi paused, taking in the growing smirk on Atsumu’s face. “You’re doing this on purpose.”
“I’m doin’ this on purpose.” Atsumu’s smirk grew into a full grin.
“I suppose I deserve it.”
“Nah, ya don’t. Not really,” Atsumu shook his head, letting go of Kiyoomi’s hoodie but staying close. “We could’ve solved so much shit if we spoke properly back then, so it’s okay.”
“Not really, but I’ll make it up to you.”
“Kiyoomi.”
“Atsumu.” Kiyoomi mocked.
“Fuckin’…” Atsumu sighed.
“Maybe after the date.”
“Kiyoomi!” Atsumu spluttered, bursting into laughter. Kiyoomi suppressed a smile at how much lighter Atsumu looked, unable to help himself from hooking a finger under Atsumu’s chin to lift his head and connect their lips.. Atsumu’s laughter stopped abruptly as he melted into the kiss, his hand warm against Kiyoomi’s waist even through the fabric separating them, meanwhile Kiyoomi’s fingers on his jaw were freezing cold.
“If yer gonna make out with me, let’s not do it outside because I think yer fingers are gonna fall off from the cold,” Atsumu said seriously, pulling away to a pouting Kiyoomi. “Alright, don’t pout, damn. Inside, come ta my room.”
“Your room?”
“My room, Kiyoomi. Stay with me.”
“Okay.”