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The dorms are quiet when Tamaki returns.
He prefers it that way, in all honesty. He doesn’t mind when his work-study days run late if it allows him to come back to peace and quiet rather than the typical chaos he finds in the 3-A dorm common room. Still, he’s tense for the entire duration of the trek from the front door to the elevator, waiting for some unseen threat to reveal its presence. It’s always like this, with anxiety spiking at the mere thought of other people inhabiting this building with him and able to go anywhere they want at any time, but after today’s villain incident, Tamaki’s nerves are absolutely shot.
He jumps at the ding of the elevator after he presses the button himself.
Shaking his head, he tries to focus on the breathing exercises Mirio and Nejire have helped him with. Count the seconds of your breaths, focus on the numbers and let everything else fade into the background. Inhale, hold, exhale. Even if there is someone hiding in the common room, it’s not as if any of Tamaki’s classmates have malicious intent towards him. Inhale, hold, exhale. This is not doing anything to slow the violent pounding of his heart.
The elevator doors slide open, and Tamaki hurries inside.
He jabs his fingers against the button for the fourth floor, and then frantically presses the close door button until the doors begin to shut. Is he shaking? His hands are shaking for sure. Shit. Maybe he’s in a worse state than he realized. Maybe it would’ve been better if the common room had been hosting a midnight party rather than completely deserted, because at least then, he wouldn’t be waiting for some other shoe to drop and steal away the current calm that has settled in the dorms.
As soon as the elevator opens to his floor, he rushes out, speedwalking to his room. The hallway is just as quiet as the rest of the building seems to be, but it does little to soothe him. He needs to just sleep in order to reset his mind. But how is he supposed to calm down enough to sleep right now?
He makes it to his room without issue, and takes care to lock the door behind him. He gets ready for bed, going through the motions of his nighttime routine without much thought to what he’s doing. He’s half out of his body right now, leaning into the numbness of dissociation because it’s better than the relentless thrum of anxiety in his veins.
He stares at his bed.
The overhead lights in his room are still on, blinding and uncanny. He wants to sleep, but he doesn’t want to lay down in the darkness and allow his mind to wander. He doesn’t want to lay down in the light, either—that would be even worse. He needs—
He pivots, leaving his room before he can think twice. He shuts off the light and closes the door behind him, then walks to the next room over, half in a trance. He doesn’t bother knocking; just twists the knob and steps inside.
Two sets of eyes immediately look up to meet his.
His greeting gets stuck in his throat, so he just stands in the doorway for several seconds, staring at Mirio and Nejire. They’re huddled together on Mirio’s bed, the glow of a laptop screen illuminating their faces. Tamaki wasn’t expecting to find Nejire here too, but he thinks her presence makes it better. He always feels better when their trio is complete.
He breathes in, and then out, and his breath doesn’t hitch this time.
Mirio grins. “Hey, Tamaki! You couldn’t sleep either?”
“Come in, come in,” Nejire urges. “Shut the door so we don’t get in trouble!”
Right. Nejire isn’t supposed to be here this late. Actually, Tamaki isn’t supposed to be here this late either, but at least he’s on the right side of the dorm building and the right floor. Nejire’s room is on the girls’ side, one floor down.
He steps fully into the room, closing the door behind him. In his mind, he answers Mirio’s question with I just got back to campus, but his thoughts and mouth are still refusing to cooperate, so he remains silent as he crosses the room. Nejire and Mirio wordlessly move, making space for him to sit between them. He settles into place, and finally, his heartbeat and breathing begin to even out.
Nejire wraps her arms around him. “Did something happen?”
Tamaki shakes his head. “No,” he manages, the word falling clumsily from his tongue. “Just…” he makes a vague gesture with one hand. It’s impossible to explain, when some unknown factor triggers his anxiety.
Thankfully, his friends understand.
“Well, we’re glad to have you with us,” Mirio tells him. “We’re watching a documentary about quirk mutations that Nejire found! Since neither of us have been able to fall asleep.” He doesn’t offer up an explanation as to why, but Tamaki can hazard a guess. With the looming threat of a war against the League of Villains hanging over their heads, there’s no shortage of worries to occupy their thoughts and prevent sleep.
“That sounds cool,” Tamaki mumbles. He lets his head fall against Mirio’s shoulder.
Nejire hits play on the documentary, and Tamaki splits his focus between what’s happening on screen, and trying his breathing exercises again. It’s easier with Nejire and Mirio on either side of him, their weight comforting and grounding. It helps, too, to have background noise that drowns out the loudest of his thoughts.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
It doesn’t take long for the tension in his body to ease, and he begins to feel more present in the moment.
Mirio and Nejire were already pretty far into the documentary when Tamaki arrived, so he only catches the last twenty minutes, but he’s able to keep up well enough. And he came here more for the company anyway; he’d watch just about anything if the other two asked him to.
As the credits roll, Nejire asks, “Feeling any better?”
Tamaki exhales slowly. “Yeah,” he answers. Exhaustion hangs heavy in his veins now that the spike of anxiety has run its course, and his eyes fall shut. “Thanks. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to relax without you guys.” He turns his face into Mirio’s shoulder, so his next words are muffled, but still comprehensible. “You’re the only place I can rest.”
“We’re here whenever you need us,” Mirio promises, one hand coming to rest on the top of Tamaki’s head.
“Yep, yep!” Nejire agrees. He can feel the movement of her nodding against him. “No matter what happens, we’ll always be able to find peace with each other.”