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“Papa, don’t you want to stretch?”
“Alina, you said it was just jogging for video, not real running.”
“I know, but Dad will get mad if you aggravate your knee again.”
“Dad is already mad at me because I aggravate him every day,” Ilya says with a grin.
Alina matches his grin. “Okay, okay. So we're just taking turns running like you’re running from the cops while the other person is saying ‘Suspect… and then add in a chirp.’”
“Yes. This I can do.”
Alina pauses, eyes narrowing. At 16, she’s seen her Papa’s highlight reels, along with the Best Rozanov Chirps compilations.
“Nothing too embarrassing,” she warns him.
“Alina, when have I ever in your life embarrassed you?”
“Oh my god, you literally picked me up from practice yesterday with a massive bouquet of flowers for me wearing a TUXEDO because you said you needed to set an example before prom next weekend!”
“And they saw, right?”
“Papa, EVERYONE saw-"
“Okay so no problem, now everyone knows how you should treat a date!”
“Dad said you were being obnoxious.”
“Dad loves when I’m obnoxious.”
Alina dips her chin and fixes a glare in his direction so much like Shane’s that Ilya can’t help but be even more endeared to his daughter. He puts his hands up. “Okay, okay, I’m ready.”
She holds up her phone. “Ready, set, go!”
They both start at an easy jog, Ilya slightly ahead of her.
“Suspect’s wearing Crocs even though his husband has a multimillion dollar deal with Reebok.”
“Alina, these are in sport mode!” Ilya sputters.
“So that makes Reeboks, what, house slippers?”
“Okay, my turn,” Ilya says, gesturing eagerly for her to give him the phone. “Go!”
“Suspect runs like she just got turned from a mermaid into a human and it’s her first time using legs. Did I do it right?”
Alina lets out an indignant huff. “Okay, first of all, I’m a skater, not a runner, and second of all, yes.” She rolls her eyes and takes the phone back. “Why do I have a feeling I’m going to regret this?”
They take off again, Alina recording.
“Suspect tells everyone he air dries his hair but really he has a 8 step routine and 2 kilos of curl product in it.”
“They assume and I just don’t correct them!” Ilya insists, taking back the phone.
Alina jogs in front, dark hair flying in the wind.
“Suspect used to pretend she was asleep in the car so she’d get carried up to bed until she was 10.”
“You did not know I was awake!!” she squeals, coming to a stop with her hands over her face.
“We did, and Dad and I would still argue over which one of us got to carry you.”
“Papa, you said you wouldn’t say anything too embarrassing,” Alina says, hand over her forehead now but smiling.
He shrugs. “That is not embarrassing, zvezdochka. That is you being our little star, even though you’re too big to be carried now.”
“Okay, hand it over,” she holds her hand out, a small but pleased smile on her face.
“And, go!"
"Suspect pretends he doesn’t understand English when he wants to get out of a conversation even though he’s fluent!”
“Alina!” He admonishes as he stops. “The HOA lady was talking about shrubbery bylaws for five minutes. Besides, Maks was the one that told her my English was not good.”
“Yeah, because you told him as she was walking over to tell her you were a new immigrant if she talked more than five minutes!”
“Okay, okay, let’s just not tell Dad that one, hm? Cut that one out.”
“Okay, fine,” she giggles, handing him the phone.
"Is too bad there is no chirping in figure skating," he says thoughtfully. "Maybe you could-"
"No, Papa," she says sternly. "You guys can get that out of your system when Maks is on the ice."
"Maybe you give him pointers, hm? He chirps like Dad, all 'you stink.'"
"That one time Dad told Uncle Cliff that maybe he was left handed was pretty funny."
Ilya snorts, "Da, but who do you think fed him that line?"
They both take off again, smiles on their faces.
“Suspect viciously fought with her brother all month then cried for thirty minutes after we dropped him off at hockey camp.”
“Oh, okay, breaking news, little brother is annoying and I love him anyway!” Alina retorted.
“Dad had to pull over so you could stop crying because he said he couldn’t concentrate on the road with you sobbing so loudly,” Ilya recalls fondly.
She huffs. “It’s both of your faults for always telling us crying is healthy!”
“It is, it is!” Ilya affirms as he briefly cups her cheek. “You wear your heart on your sleeve like Dad. It’s a good thing, Lina.”
“Unofficial family motto: First to laugh, first to cry,” Alina grins wryly.
“Exactly,” Ilya says proudly as he nods.
“Okay, my turn. Go!”
“Suspect is Russian and brags about never being cold but made Dad put in heated floors in the house.”
“Okay, we put those in for you guys!”
“Papa, we weren’t even born yet when those went in!”
“You don’t think I wasn’t already thinking about baby toes on cold floors in the winter? You are welcome, Alina!”
Alina is laughing now, knowing that he’s being ridiculous but also probably telling the truth. “Okay, thank you for thinking of our baby toes,” she concedes, handing the phone over.
“You are making me do cardio, you could be nicer to me, you know,” he grumbles, then stops suddenly- “Wait, was this Dad’s idea? Is he trying to make me do extra cardio now- SHANE!” He calls loudly to the back door.
“No, it wasn’t his idea! Okay we’re getting way off topic,” she says assertively. “I don’t even know if I can use these, you’re being very… Papa about it.” She waves her hand vaguely.
“I have to get in being very Papa about it now while I can, you know. Two more years and who knows where you’ll fly off to.”
“McGill like Grandpa,” she answers immediately. “Also, you know I’ll be back every chance I get. Who else would you make McDonald’s runs with? Dad?”
They both snort with laughter.
“Okay, I heard my name, why do I have a feeling this is a roasting session I wasn’t invited to?” Shane is at the back door, eyebrow raised but slight smile on his face.
“We’re doing that Suspect trend,” Alina informs him.
Shane casually takes off his glasses and gestures with them towards Ilya, “Oh, like ‘Suspect is wearing a tank top because he doesn’t own shirts with sleeves.’”
“Oh, like you don’t like seeing my bare arms in all seasons?! Nice try, lyubimyy.”
Shane rolls his eyes, trying not to smile and failing.
“That was a good one, Dad,” Alina says approvingly.
Shane has a glint in his eye looking at his daughter. “How about ‘Suspect is currently walking everywhere because she asked her driving instructor if “she really had to or could she just take the L” when he asked her to parallel park.’”
“OKAY TOO REAL, I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea when my parents are MLH level chirpers. I’m going to go delete this video and think of one to do that you guys won’t be experts at!” Alina sulks, walking back in the house.
“Good luck with that,” Shane calls after her and winks at Ilya.
“Still got it?” he asks Ilya, walking down the steps to him.
Ilya grins as he kisses his husband and rests his forehead with Shane’s.
“Still got it.”