Chapter Text
20 years ago
He gripped the handlebars tight as they sped down the hill. He was ready to catch some serious air. He had roughly calculated the launch in his head, based on the speed he was going, he would probably launch about 4ft in the air. The gravel crackled under his bike tires, a dust cloud following him slowly from behind. The wind rushed through his cropped hair. His best friend was waiting for him at the top of the hill, capturing the whole thing on video because he had proposed it would be 'totally bad ass'. Finally he hit the lower slope of the jump, lifting off into the air. His lungs were burning from working up the power to tackle the jump, but as soon as the bike left the ground he felt limitless. This was nothing like jumping off the small ramps he built with his dad. If you could even call that jumping (just don't tell his dad he said that). He was defying doctors and gravity. The rush from the jump was made more intense by the landing. It was steady enough to keep him in motion but he'd need to work on his form if he really wanted to sell how badass he was. He looked back at his best friend.
Still far up the hill, she began her own descent. She had caught about the same amount of air as him and she was about to stick the landing, but her bike basically disassembled on impact. The front wheel came loose and rolled right out from under the front of the fork. Her body rolled front wards right over the handlebars. He dropped his own bike in disbelief of what he just saw. He rushed over to check on his friend. "LOUISE!! Are you ok?! How many fingers am I holding up??" Sitting up from the dust, she looked up at him and replied wearily "uhhhh a hundred?" "What!! No its 3!! Aw man we gotta get you to a hospital, how are we gonna make it back to my moms..." he was clearly starting to spiral. His chest became tight and his visible distress snapped her out of the initial shock of the crash. "Hey hey hey I'm fine!" Just a little road rash but I'll live! Hit your inhaler and I'll grab my bike..." The shock of the crash overrode any perception of the bike's demise. "oh... uh...your bike... it kinda... died on impact? " She looked back and saw the wreckage, not only did the wheel bust off the fork, the chain had slipped off too. The bike has already seen better days, but she was hoping it would hang on at least until high school. She was devastated but immediately tried to hide it by reverting to anger. It's a classic stage of grief after all.
"That's the last time I hire a carnie to tune my bike GOD!" She exclaimed, kicking up a cloud of dust in frustration. She picked up the front wheel, he picked up the frame. Upon noticing the chain issue he flipped over the bike and began resetting it. "Will she live?" She asked nervously. "The damage is pretty serious, but we have the technology." he assured her. "Thanks... ugh now I guess I gotta walk this thing back home somehow." He motioned for the wheel in her hand. "How bout you walk my bike? We can hang your wheel on the handlebar and I'll walk yours. We can go back to my mom's house and drop mine off, then I'll help you walk this back?" He offered, a natural gentleman. "You're the best.." She looked away trying not to show the smile forming on her face. He could hear it in her voice though and had never been more happy to help. He took one last puff off his inhaler before they began their trip back to his moms.
15 years ago
Starting high school felt surreal. He had been looking forward to this day for years now. "It's a fresh start, new teachers, new subjects, its all so exciting!" He expressed his excitement as him and his best friend made their way into the school. She was far less interested, as this still meant four more years of mandatory schooling. At least she'd be old enough for a real job soon. Then she could finally start saving some real money. "At least we're finally free of that last batch of teachers. Hopefully these ones are just as easy to manipulate..." She stated, a mischievous smile growing on her face. He responded, "Maybe this would be a good time to start taking school more seriously? Four years from now we'll be heading off to college and it'll be -" She interrupted, "like this all over again?". A moment of awkward silence hung between them, filled only by the ambient chaos of students navigating the halls. "Well I guess a little, but it's a new chapter either way and I'm excited for what it holds." His optimism taking precedence over his mild disappointment in her attitude. "Ya know what, maybe this is a new start. High school naturally creates more opportunities to separate kids from their money, if ya know what I mean?" she nudged him, hoping he saw what she did. "I don't..." he said, sounding a bit nervous now. "Think about it, all pubed up ready to jump on the first guy or girl they think are noticing them... not to mention teen drinking! I'm just saying, it's an impressionable crowd." she stated confidently. "Oh yeah, I guess...", his disappointment now front and center in his consciousness. "Do me a favor though and try not to get me in trouble too though ok? There's a robotics team in interested in joining and I've heard you have to have a spotless reputation to get in.", he said half joking but half serious about not wanting any trouble going forward. "Hey I wouldn't dream of it! Now get out of here!! Seriously or you'll be late for first period.", she gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder and disappeared into the crowd.
After the first few weeks of school had settled, they were falling into their own rhythms at school. Their lockers were on opposite ends of the freshman floor and for the first time ever, they didn't have any classes together, not even lunch period! He'd finally caught her between classes. "Hey I wanted to ask if you've checked out any of the clubs? I heard there is a film club and figured you might be into it!" he was hoping to capture her interest and maybe that would translate to more focus on academics. "I've actually got a way better plan!" she exclaimed. "But you used to love making movies! What are you gonna do?" he asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Computer lab." she stated plainly. "Uh i don't know if you've heard but that's actually one of the worst clubs. There's not even any club activities! You just show up." he said dismissing her without trying to sound too harsh. "It's not about the activities Rudy! I heard that Mr. Argento, the teacher that runs it, he's a big time alcoholic. He takes roll then plays these conspiracy videos playlists on the smart screen at the beginning of each lab. Then he passes out after 10 or 15 minutes! The whole rest of the period you can basically do whatever you want." She was trying not to sound too excited about doing nothing, hoping to not upset him considering how much school meant to him. "Well what do you want to do with your time there?". She blinked at him, "Just burn an hour 'til its time to go home I guess. Now that they're finally paying me a bit more at the slop shop, I'm weirdly motivated? To get back to work? Ugh it feels wrong even saying it but I've decided I'm saving for my own place so I can move out right after high school. Once I'm finally old enough to get a better part time job like my siblings did, then i can really lock in on that." She cracked her knuckles as she explained this plan to him. "What about college though? This is the perfect time to start thinking about what you want to pursue! And that would be an easy way for you to move out right away too!" He really wanted her to see things his way. She continued, "My parents made it pretty clear I might be able to go to community college and that's it, so I'm not exactly dreaming big over here." she said, reminding him of how different their home situations were. "I get it, but I guess I always pictured us in college together too. I know you're smart enough to get in even if you don't like to apply yourself." he teased. "I apply myself all the time." she began to explain before he cut her off. "To schemes I guess, but they're only ever good in the short term... what about the future, 20 years from now?" she quietly considered his statement, unable to think of a response before he continued. "I'm just saying, this is a good time to think about where you're headed. See ya around?" still not responding to his question, she looked a big dejected. "See ya..."
14 years ago
Freshman and sophomore year flew by. He filled his time with the robotics team, mathletes and any other college prep extra-curricular he could find. Naturally, those things made navigating his parents split homes very difficult. He decided after freshman year he would move in full time with his dad. Paul had moved in with his mom by now and he was worried his dad would be lonely. Poor guy was still striking out with the ladies after all these years. He couldn't remember the last time he hung out with Louise either. He tried texting her a few times over spring break to catch up, but never got a response. He meant to ride by the restaurant sometime to say hi, but things got away from him. It's not like he had much time for friends anyway, besides the ones he'd spend time with during his school activities. He was hoping to get into a state school right out of high school, so giving up his social life seemed like a worthy exchange.
Then it happened. Deep down it was unthinkable, but he also had seen it coming a mile away. A few months earlier, he was having dinner at his moms when Paul sat him down on the back patio. "Hey buddy, mind if we have a talk?" he was dreading what would follow. "I wanna ask your mom to marry me, is that ok with you?". Something inside him shattered, but he knew it was time, they had been together for about 6 years now and living together for some time as well. "I think that'd make her really happy." He said smiling at Paul, trying to bury any sadness that may have surfaced in his eyes. "Great! Thank you Rudy, I'm beyond excited to be joining your family..." His ears filled with white noise as Paul continued. His memories from the rest of that evening were blank, he just remembered the look on his dad's face when he told him the news. His dad had gotten over his mom long ago, but it still stung a bit, him not having had a successful relationship in all the years since the divorce.
Now back in the present, the summer before Junior year, the inevitable was approaching. Paul was trying to hype him up for the approaching event. "Ya know Rudy, you're welcome to bring a plus one to the wedding!" he offered, trying to help Rudy not feel so awkward about the whole situation. "Thanks but I don't know, who would I get on such short notice? I couldn't even get a date to the Freshman Formal." he looked down, trying not to feel so disappointed in himself. Deep down he was always afraid of ending up like his dad. Paul's warm voice interrupted his train of though, "What about that girl you were always hanging out with? The one with the rabbit ears and the burger restaurant?" he asked. "Oh Louise? We don't really hang out anymore..." not wanting to press too hard, Paul continued, "Ah well, your mom and I always did like her. Seemed like she looked out for you. Maybe it could be a chance for you two to reconnect?" This left him a bit hopeful. "Hm, yeah maybe I'll see what she's up to.".
The next weekend, he rode his bike to the restaurant. The yellow interior looked exactly as he remembered, and there she was behind the counter. She looked to be sorting receipts or something. He didn't realize how early it was, they usually didn't open until 10 but he tapped on the front door, hoping she could talk. "Rudy!! What are you doing here?" she exclaimed, clearly happy to see him. This was a good sign, he thought. "Hey, I know it's been a while since we've gotten to hang out. I've been really busy with school and all..." She resisted the urge to announce a nerd alert in response to him, instead opting for a softer comment. "Yeah I know, Mr. College Prep over here." she said playfully, "and don't even worry about it, I've had my own stuff going on... So you came all the way down here just to tell me sorry you're busy or what?". He took a deep breath, "Well actually I- uh- came to ask you if... um... do you remember my mom?" She stared at him, raising an eyebrow at this statement. "Uh yeah, we only hung out at her house like all the time when we were kids. Is she ok?" She started to sound a bit nervous. "Oh yeah she's totally fine, actually she's getting married. To Paul. You know, Paul Paul." now he might have been trying too hard not to sound nervous. "That bastard! Just kidding, congratulations to them I guess?" this made him laugh a little, "Heh yeah, so anyway, they said I could bring a plus one to the wedding and I figured, well, you know them both - and me, so would you want to maybe be my plus one?". Both of them were blushing a bit at this, neither was quite sure why though. "Uhh when is it? Like soon?" she asked, trying to ease the tension. "It's right before the first week of school, so like last weekend in August." he said, checking his phone to be sure. "Hey dad! I'm taking the last weekend of August off!" she yelled, seemingly at no one. "Ok." The older man grumbled from the kitchen area. "Ugh thank god you didn't come when my mom was down here or I'd never hear the end of it. Speaking of over the top girlishness, what should i wear?" she asked, sounding genuinely interested. "I can text you all the details! By the way, does your number still work? I tried texting you a few months ago but never heard back..." he tried not to sound like he had spent days waiting to hear from her. "Oh! That's right, that phone was toast and our phone plan wouldn't let us move the number over to my new one. Let me give you the new number."
They caught up a bit more after that before he needed to head back home to study. He updated the calendar event in his phone, adding a snail emoji to the title. The event now read "Mom's wedding + Louise" with a snail to remind him of their Borobu days. The summer went by fast, and the weekend of the wedding was approaching. His phone buzzed against his desk in his room. "Got the dress T.T how did you plan on us getting there?" she said over text. He replied "I'm sure it looks great! My dad was gonna drop us off, he's invited too." She responded, "I've got a better idea... we can have our own limo! Your dad can join too if he wants :3" he wrote back, "He actually gets really carsick when anyone else drives, would it be ok if it's just us?" she wrote back almost instantly, "Even better!". Soon the big weekend had arrived, a pink Hummer limousine pulled up to his dad's condo, the horn honked the tune of "Tequila". He stepped outside in his suit, feeling a bit awkward since he couldn't think of a time where he had been more formally dressed. A large woman waited outside the limo, ready to open the door for him as he approached. "Ah the young man I've heard so much about! Welcome!". He'd be lying if he didn't admit that he was starstruck by both the private limo and Louise in a formal dress. Her hair was curled a bit, and she had makeup on, making him wish he had styled himself with a bit more effort. Dang it, he thought, should've worn a top hat...
The ride to the wedding lasted about an hour, while he was initially excited about his chance to finally spend time with Louise again, he was overwhelmed by anxiety about the life changes that were swirling around them. "So does this wedding have an open bar?" She said half-joking, half-serious but fully intending to break him out of whatever funk he was clearly in. "What? Oh, I mean, not for us I don't think." she nudged him playfully, "C'mon Rudy, cut the crap. What's buggin you?" He was a bit relieved she saw right through him, despite them not having a serious talk in years now. "It's just that - and it's gonna sound really stupid - but now with my mom and Paul getting married... I don't know... it feels like this means my parents are really never getting back together." she wasn't quite sure how to respond, as she could never relate to the divorced parent drama. "Oh, well they've been split up for a really long time now right? It seemed kinda obvious - no offense." he sighed, "You're right, but it just feels more final now than it did before. Part of me always has held out hope we'd be a family again, like we were, but now we've been like this," he motioned around haplessly, "for longer than we actually were that kind of family." she grabbed his shoulder, rotating his body to face her, how was she so strong? he thought briefly. "Look, I know it's weird with you all and your - relationships or whatever, but it seems like maybe your mom and Paul are in a good place. I mean they're getting married? Paul's always seemed like a pretty nice guy and your mom is happy right?" she asked, trying to get him out of his weird headspace. "I guess, but my poor dad, he's still alone and I just worry about him being alone his whole life. What if my mom was the best he'll ever do and he's doomed to be learning new dating apps forever." His voice cracking a bit, a little from his feeling stupid even saying it, but also from genuine sadness. "I mean, is he unhappy though? He's always seemed to be living his best life either way. And I know he's never wanted you to worry about him, he's supposed to worry about you!" He sighed, "Yeah i guess you're right, it's just hard when things change ya know? Not just with them, us two, I mean when's the last time we had a good talk like this? I don't even know what your siblings are up to anymore. I guess overall, it's just been hard for me to handle all these changes happening so fast. Before I know it, I'll be 30 years old with a career, wondering what happened to the time." She made a rare concerned face he had only seen a handful of times growing up. "Listen, things are always gonna be changing and time getting away from us and all that other crap adults always talk about, but we're still young Rudy! We don't need to worry about divorces or dating apps or businesses going under or anything else they worry about that rubs off on us. We're free! For now anyway..." As she finished, the limo came to a stop. "Alright you two, we're here!" The driver opened the door to let them out. "Thank Nat, and hey leave the meter running, my old man's footing the bill!" Louise yelled at Nat as they climbed out of the back seat. "Alrighty then! Come find me when you two are ready to come home!".
The wedding itself was pretty boring, he had asked not to be in the actual wedding, despite his mom wanting him to. He was grateful for that decision now since he was sitting in his reserved spot with Louise. He was amazed she could sit still through the ceremony but she later told him she had been guessing the ages of all the guests and also pairing them up in her heads. "It's something Tina taught me a long time ago, one of her weird 'shipping' excersies or whatever. It does help the time go by quicker though." they both laughed a bit as they made their way to the reception area. A photographer stopped them on their way, "Hey, look at the lvoely young couple! Big Smiles!" Neither of them had registered them looking like a couple, despite their color coordinated outfits, arriving together in a limo and never leaving eachothers side for the duration of the event. To his shock, Louise snaked her arm around his and leaned into him for the shot. "Gorgeous, thanks kids!" He tuned bright red as soon as the photographer ran off to find his mom and the rest of the bridal party. "What was that all about?" he asked nervously, "Ughh my mom told me I had to be the 'perfect guest' so i don't 'ruin the atmosphere at their nice wedding'". She said mockingly in her best New Jersey accent. "How charitable of you." They both laughed and continued on.
As the evening went on, the party got a bit looser and Louise snuck off, saying she needed to use the bathroom. When she came back, she grabbed him by the shoulder of his jacket and dragged him up from their table where they were sitting with some of his second cousins. "What's going on, whre are we going?" He asked, a bit startled by being pulled out of his chair so abruptly. "Check it out, but DON'T say ANYTHING." She urged, pulling a bottle of champagne from behind her back and showing it off to him. "Where did you get that?" He shrieked, causing her to put a finger to his lips. "Bup bup bup! What did I say? Now follow me..." They made their way to an empty courtyard area of the venue. It looked all set up for a different wedding, but it appeared the guests never arrived. "Get this, I heard one of the waiters talking about how the other wedding they had scheduled for today got called off. I guess the groom learned something super upsetting about the bride, like she was planning a shooting or something - and they had fired the DJ right before hand - the whole thing just sounded really weird! Point is though, they ordered all this champagne and left a case here that the staff have been picking off over the evening. I snuck over to see if it had been cleaned out yet, but I got the last one!" he was shocked, not just by the weird story she just explained, but moreso by the fact that she was only gone for about 5 minutes. Did she even use the bathroom? He thought to himself. "Jeez, I don't know I mean, I've never drank before. You don't think we'll get in trouble do you?" he asked nervously. "Based on how drunk all the adults look and how burn out the wait staff sounds, I'm pretty sure we'll be totally fine! Also, my mom always says if you just eat a lot of carbs, you won't get hung over, so i grabbed us these charcuterie crackers too. Those are carbs right?" He new they weren't the carbs she was probably talking about but he played along. "Sure I guess so, do you know how to open that thing?" Her face lit up, "Oh yeah, that's why I grabbed this too." She showed him a huge knife that she must've swiped off one of the catering tables.
Without hesitation, she struck the cork with the knife, popping the bottle. Neither of them were prepared for how much foam would flow out though. "Crap! My dress! Aw, guess I won't be able to return this after, sorry mom!" she said as she fished around the back of her dress, feeling for the tag so she could rip it out. "Here, you get first swig since it's your mom's wedding." She said handing him the bottle. He took a sip and immediately got the hiccups. Both of them bursting out in laughter. He passed her the bottle and she took a few sips off it. "Do you drink a lot?" he asked, a bit worried about what her answer would be. "Nah, just when my mom passes out in the living room with less than half a bottle left. If it's half or more full, she'll remember, but any less than that and I fire up the gaslights." She said with a devious grin. "It's kinda whatever though to be honest, she always made it look and sound more fun than it is. I figured today though, you could use something to take the edge off." He took another sip off the bottle, not quite feeling anything yet. They joked around about who had the most over the top outfit, both agreeing it was his mom's aunt Mary-Alice, who wore a fur coat in August.
After they finished the bottle, they wandered around the venue some more, not realizing they had been holding hands until they stopped in front of a full length mirror in one of the hallways. "Look at us, a couple'a Walkaway Wendy's!" She burst out laughing, realizing now that it'd probably been an hour since they ditched the reception. "Think your mom's wondering where you are?" she asked. "Probably, let's go check on things." They walked back to the main hall where he saw his mom and Paul dancing, he scanned the room for his dad and he was sitting alone at a table, looking at his phone. Presumably swiping on whatever dating app he was trying out this month. The contrast of his mom's happy moment with the seemingly bleak reality his dad was living in, combined with him being drunk for the first time ever; had left him overcome with emotion. He instinctively ran back out to the empty patio area where they had shared the bottle of champagne. "Rudy? Rudy!" she called after him, her voice filled with concern. Finally she caught up to him, he was facing away from her, trying to hide his tears. "Hey! What's the matter?" she asked, hoping to get to the bottom of his sudden outburst. He choked back his tears, "It's just, it's all so different now. I wish there was more time where it was just - UGH - it even sounds so stupid when I say it out loud but - this is all my fault! My parents, the divorce, Paul." He said with a hint of animosity that he instantly regretted. "It's my fault they broke up, I was sick all the time as a kid and my mom blamed my dad and my dad blamed my mom for not letting me do normal things as a kid, it all comes back to me!" he continued crying as his pent up feelings burst out. "Hey, hey..." she scooped him into a hug, making him feel like a little puppy. "Let me tell you something, my parent's - you know how they're super broke all the time? Well, before all of us were born, they were a normal amount of poor, ya know? Then my siblings came a long and it got harder, but you know what really sank the ship?" He sniffled, "Your dad's weird thing where he's too proud but also not proud enough?" She laughed, "Excellent guess, but not entirely. It was me. Me being born. That was the final nail in the coffin for my parents and our family ever getting out from under this friggin poverty rock or whatever metaphor makes sense. When my dad found out I was gonna happen, he freaked out and had a nervous breakdown. He wasn't even there when I was born he was so stressed out about everything." He sniffled more, "If you're trying to make me feel better, it's not working." She shushed him and continued, "What I'm saying is, there's a lot of arguments to be made for why I made everyone's lives worse. But all I can actually do about it is, try to make it better." He finally calmed down and she continued, "I try to drum up business for them, I try to entertain them, I bail them out when I need to. And someday, I'm gonna buy that stupid building so they never have to pay rent again." He looked up at her, "That's really nice of you. But I don't know what to do to keep everyone together anymore." she paused, "They only ever see each other anymore because of you right? Maybe instead of worrying about how everything is your fault, you could look at how you keep them in each others lives? They've seemed like they're on good terms whenever we used to hang out all together. They seem like they want to be friends." He sighed, "I guess your right. It's just hard, I see my dad and I'm so worried about becoming like him. Ya know, lonely I guess." She lightly grabbed his chin and turned his face towards hers, "Hey, as long as I'm around, you're not gonna be alone ok? I promise."
The rest of the night after that was a blur, he neglected to eat any of the charcuterie crackers while they were drinking and now he regretted it. Back home, he was too exhausted to get out of bed to find a snack. He just laid there, looking up at the popcorn ceiling, thinking about what his friend had said. She promised to always be there for him, she must've meant it right? She had always been a loyal person growing up, and they never really stopped being friends, they had just drifted apart as they were growing up. Another thing he felt was his fault deep down. Maybe, sometime in the future, they could be more than friends he thought. He drafted a text to her but didn't send it. "Meet at the park after school next Friday?"