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Wei Ying first learned about death when he was five years old. In cold room, with shiny tile floors and lumpy cushioned chairs, an adult he’d never met before explained to him that his parents weren’t coming to get him. They were gone, dead, and never coming back. 

It was too much for a little boy to understand. Too big, too terrifying, too sad. Wei Ying, then just a-Ying, cried like he never cried before. He just wanted his mom. He just wanted his dad. But they weren’t alive anymore. They were dead and a-Ying was alone. 

Seventeen years later, Wei Ying still didn’t understand death all that well. Which was just a little inconvenient when he died three days after his twenty-second birthday. 

It happened violently, though Wei Ying didn’t feel a thing. There was a little boy who dashed out into the street to chase a butterfly. Wei Ying’s body moved before he could think. He sprinted to the child, dropping his phone on the pavement, and shoved the boy out of the way. The child broke his arm as he tumbled away. Wei Ying broke his whole body. But the boy lived, so really, Wei Ying could live with that. 

Well, not live exactly. 

The car screeched to a stop, but it took a good few seconds too long in Wei Ying’s opinion. He would later find out the driver was drunk. She was coming from an endless mimosa brunch and decided the waiting fifteen minutes for an Uber was too long. It was annoying to die because of someone else’s recklessness. It didn’t seem fair. 

Death wasn’t always fair. That was the one thing everyone seemed to understand. 

As Wei Ying watched from afar as his body was zipped up in a black bag, he felt like he was going to vomit. 

“Easy now… you’re okay,” a gentle voice spoke quietly. 

“B-but that’s… that’s me,” Wei Ying gasped. “I-I know that’s me. I…I saw my shoe…”

Said shoe was sitting innocuously about a foot away. There was blood streaked on the white laces. It must have flown off when the car hit him. 

“It was you. You died.” 

Wei Ying spun around to the man. “What?! N-no… no I can’t have… I shouldn’t have… I’m not dead!”

The man was smiling, though it his eyes were sad. “I admit, I was surprised too. You weren’t on my schedule until just a few minutes ago. I’m glad I got to you before it happened. It would have been terrible to go through that pain.” 

Wei Ying was starting at the man. None of his words made sense. A glint caught his eye just over the man’s shoulder. It was his phone, lit up with an incoming call.

“…oh shit.” Wei Ying stumbled over, his legs still shaking in shock. He went to reach for his phone on the ground, but his fingers passed right through it. “What the…?”

“You don’t have a physical body. Not yet at least.” The man had followed, his footsteps practically silent. “There’s much I have to explain to you, and I don’t know how long I have to do so.” 

“W-wait, I have to say goodbye.” Wei Ying reached for his phone again. His hand kept turning into a strange mist each time. “He… we were supposed to talk today. It’s been so long…”

The man had that smile and sad eyes from before. “I’m afraid that’s not possible, Wei Ying. You’re dead.”

“But-!”

“Come with me. There’s a park just down the road. We can talk there.” 

Wei Ying didn’t want to talk. He wanted his life back.

“I… I don’t understand. I just turned twenty-two! I-I… I haven’t done anything yet!” He shouted. Now he was in the ‘Anger’ part of the grief process. 

“Haven’t done anything yet? Oh, I disagree. You just saved a little boy’s life,” The man said seriously. “Look.”

He gestured a ways up the road, where a paramedic was carefully lifting a child onto a gurney. A separate ambulance was parked sideways, blocking the road along with police. The boy was crying, round dark eyes shiny with tears. There was a scrape on his chin, a little blood on his t-rex shirt. An older woman, possibly his grandmother, was crying silent tears as she tried to comfort the boy. Her gaze kept drifting to the car down the road. Police were already taping off the area. 

Wei Ying slowly went over to the small scene. No one saw him, in fact, they couldn’t. He wasn’t really there after all. Just a soul floating around without a body.  

“It’s okay a-Yuan… you’re going to be okay…” the old woman brushed back the boy’s hair with a trembling hand. 

“It hurts! I-it hurts!” A-Yuan wailed. 

Wei Ying stepped up to the gurney. “Ah… I’m sorry, little one. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He reached out instinctively, trying to comfort the child, but he couldn’t. His hand passed right through those chubby cheeks. Wei Ying felt tears well up in his eyes once more. 

“It’ll be okay. You’ll get a cool cast and have all your friends draw on it. I broke my leg once, so I would know. I asked for red, but it looked pink after a few weeks,” Wei Ying was rambling, but it felt nice. Normal, almost. “I don’t want to lecture you, but don’t go running out in the street again, okay? You’ll worry your poor grandma all over again and we don’t want that. Besides, you never know when someone will be driving recklessly like that.”

The little boy, a-Yuan, had slowly stopped crying. There were still tears running down his cheeks, but it seemed like he finally caught his breath. He couldn’t have been older than five. 

“Popo? I…I’m sorry for running away…”

“I know, a-Yuan,” the old woman responded. 

“Popo?”

“Yes?”

“Is that man going to be okay? The one who pushed me?”

The older woman sucked in a sharp breath. Her eyes darted over to the other scene down the road. Wei Ying’s body was already in the back of the ambulance. They didn’t turn on the sirens as they drove away. 

“Don’t worry about me, a-Yuan,” Wei Ying spoke, even knowing that he wouldn’t be heard. “All that matters is that you’re safe.”

Wei Ying lingered around the family until they were loaded into the second ambulance. He stood in the middle of the street as cops began their work. Photos were taken, evidence documented and then bagged. Wei Ying felt his stomach drop as an officer picked up his phone. His battery was already running low when he left his house that morning. Lan Zhan’s call probably drained the last of the battery.  

For a moment, he felt paralyzed at the thought of his friends and family finding out that he was dead. Jiang Yanli would be devastated, which sucked because she just had a baby. She should be enjoying this time, not mourning her brother. Jiang Cheng would probably be the same but hide it for years until he imploded. Silly, grumpy Jiang Cheng. Little brothers were so weird. 

His foster parents were a mixed bag. Jiang Fengmian would be sad, but a dark little part of Wei Ying’s mind wondered if that sadness would be more related to his parents. With his death, the last remaining connection to Wei Changze and Cangse Saren would be gone. It was a horrible thought, and probably completely wrong. Jiang Fengmian cared for him, in his own way. 

Madam Yu would be… something. Wei Ying knew she didn’t like him, nor did she want to raise a third child, but she still showed up. Still signed him up for all the extracurriculars he asked for, still stocked his favorite snacks in the house, still showed up to his high school graduation. She didn’t stand with the family for any pictures, but it was something. 

Yes, his family would miss him. Some more than others. 

All his friends would mourn him; of this Wei Ying was sure. He’d met so many people over his short life. Laughed and loved them all in a colorful array of feelings. A few faces came to mind. People who stuck with him through the hard times, his first girlfriend, his first boyfriend. The ones who still texted him even though it would take him days to respond. It sucked to realize that he was ruining their days, weeks, possibly months with such depressing news. 

And then there was one face that rose above the others. A face he’d known since he was a child. A voice he’d grown up with and somehow knew better than his own. Which was wild, considering the young man behind it only spoke with intention. The exact opposite of Wei Ying's consistant rambling.

Lan Zhan didn’t have many friends. Wei Ying often joked that he was a man that looked for quality over quantity. And also, that Wei Ying spoke so much it was like being in a room full of people anyway.  

What would Lan Zhan do now? How would he react? He was about to call Wei Ying before it all happened. It would have been awful if his call had come just a minute earlier. Lan Zhan would have been on the phone with him when it happened and that… that was a terrible thought. 

I hope… ah, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry we never got to catch up like you wanted. It’s been… it’s been too long. And now, I’m afraid it’s going to be a lifetime before we see each other again. At least, it better be, you fuddy-duddy. 

“Wei Ying?” The man was back. His fluffy white sweater looked like a cloud. “I’m sorry, but I think I’m running out of time. Can we speak now?”

Wei Ying looked over the scene one last time. The place where he died. If he had known when he woke up this morning that this was waiting for him, he would have thrown his phone across the room and buried himself under his comforter. 

But in all honesty, if he had known his fate beforehand, knew that he was going to save the life of an adorable toddler in exchange for his own, Wei Ying would have gotten up, picked up breakfast, and run into his future just like he’d dashed into the street. The only change he’d make was to call Lan Zhan first thing. Then his sister. Then his brother. Goodbyes disguised as his normal, endless chatter. 

Wei Ying turned towards the Man in White and nodded. 

“Yeah, I think I’m ready.” 

He wasn’t, but even when you’re dead, life continues to move forward. 

The Man in White had explained everything, in detail, but Wei Ying was only half functioning at that point so not everything stuck. The mysterious man seemed to expect this as he handed over a worn leather journal. 

“I wrote down everything a while ago,” he explained in a soothing voice. “I’m the only reaper in this area, so it’s important that I ensure my successor is informed. There are a few phone numbers in the back with some people that can help, if you really get confused. They’re also reapers but are assigned to other cities. Sometimes, if something major happens, they’ll come over to assist.” 

“Assist with what?” Wei Ying asked, completely dumbfounded. 

“With reaping, of course.” 

In short, Wei Ying had won some cosmic lottery and instead of moving on to… wherever, he instead has joined the ranks of grim reapers for the sleepy little town of Yilling. It was like an unpaid internship with the shittiest pay off known to humankind. 

“To clarify, you aren’t death itself, nor do you cause it,” the man explained. Their conversation had moved from a park bench to a 24-hour diner about a block away. The smell of syrup and coffee was making Wei Ying’s stomach growl.

“Then what am I?” He asked. 

“You’re a grim reaper. Like I am.” 

“Like you?”

“Yes, though I’m pretty sure I’ve met my quota.” 

Wei Ying blinked. “Quota?”

“Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me start with the basics,” So the man explained. “A grim reaper takes the souls of those about to die. In doing so, they feel no pain, no matter how their life ends. After their hearts stop beating, their souls walk away, and we help guide them to their final destination. I guess technically we release the soul’s from their bodies first, and then take them. Yes, that makes more sense.” 

A million and a half questions sprung to Wei Ying’s mind. 

“So, you… took my soul?” he asked slowly. 

“Yes. I bumped into you, just before your accident. That was when I took it. Hm, released it? Now I’m confusing myself with details.” 

A vague memory of his shoulder hitting someone lingered in his mind. He said a quick ‘sorry’ and then hurried on his way. It was such an innocuous moment.

“How did you know I was going to die?” 

“In all honesty, I didn’t know you were going to die until about fifteen minutes beforehand. Usually, I get the information at least a month in advance.” 

He flipped to a page in his notebook that had a name crossed out at the very top. Under it, written in quick crisp letters was Y. Wei. There was a time and location, but nothing else. 

“That’s it? It doesn’t even have my first name! How the hell are you supposed to find me with so little information?” 

“Well, it helps that this is a very small town,” the man shrugs. “I do get a little more information than this of course. This is just how I keep notes.” 

Wei Ying sat back and listened to the man explain more. There were surprisingly little rules to being undead. The rules in place, however, were ironclad. The Man in White turned extremely serious when explaining that things couldn’t be changed. 

“You cannot change someone’s fate, Wei Ying. If they are meant to die, they’re meant to die. If you don’t reap the soul, they will be trapped in their bodies for eternity. Unable to move or physically feel but locked in their minds so long as a scrape of their body remains. And yes, that includes ashes.

“If you do something to save the person, ensure that they don’t die, their soul will feaster and rot. This will sound crude, but souls have expiration dates. If they are forced to stay in their living bodies, they will deteriorate until they snuff out completely. An entire existence, gone and never able to find peace.

“On a lighter note, you won’t be incorporeal anymore. You will have a physical body again, but it will be impossible to kill. Any injury you received will heal almost instantly. You won’t be sick, nor will you grow old. You won’t look like yourself anymore, so anyone who knew you when you were alive won’t recognize you, but that can be a blessing too. It’s a new start, in a way. A chance to continue enjoying things, feeling things, loving things. Its life in a new form.”

The Man in White talked for hours, all the while ordering an absurd amount of pancakes. Wei Ying was startled when halfway through the conversation, the waitress asked him if he wanted anything. Eight hours of being invisible were suddenly gone without explanation. 

They talked into the night, until the Man in White got distracted by something outside the window. Wei Ying turned and felt his mouth drop open in shock. There was a shimmering white building in the parking lot. It looked like a little house, with a thatched roof and large yard. There was a vegetable garden peeking out from behind the humble structure and a several trees casting a strange grey shade. No one else seemed to notice it. Must be an undead thing. 

“I think that’s for me,” The Man in White murmured. 

“What?” 

“It’s time for me to go.” The man pulled out several bills and placed it on table. He stood quickly, eyes never leaving the phantom house as he neared the door. 

“W-wait!” Wei Ying took the leather book and hurried to catch the man. He stumbled out of the café and grabbed onto the man’s sweater. “You can’t leave yet! I…I don’t know what I’m doing!”

The man smiled, and this time it reached his eyes. “I’ve written everything down for you. You’ll be okay, Wei Ying.” 

“B-but how am I supposed to live? I…I can’t go back to my apartment. I have nowhere to live anymore!”

“Oh! I guess that’s true. Here, take this. And my wallet too. I won’t need them anymore.” A ring with a butterfly key chain was placed in his hand. The wallet was worn and colorful, with little foxes stitched onto the front. “My address is on my ID. Take my house. I own it, so it’ll be okay.” 

Wei Ying felt like crying again. He was so overwhelmed. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know,” the man answered honestly. “It looks nice though, doesn’t it? I… I’ve always wanted a simple home like this…” 

The Man in White reached under his shirt and pulled out a shiny silver ring. He rubbed the pretty red jewels embedded in the band and smiled softly. 

“Good luck, Wei Ying. I hope you make the most of this new life. Goodbye.” 

Wei Ying didn’t have the heart to pull the man back to him. There was a look in his eyes, something so hopeful and pure that felt monumental. Something was happening that Wei Ying didn’t understand. Something grand and long awaited. He had no right to make this man wait any longer. 

The Man in White stepped into the pretty vision and his body became ghostly white as well. As he stepped forward passed the garden gate, a shimmering red light glowed on his chest. Another figure appeared from that red light, tall and lean, wearing clothes that looked centuries old. The Man in White turned to the new figure and smiled wide. 

Wei Ying watched the pair embrace as the little house disappeared into shimming light. With nothing more than a notebook, keys and wallet that wasn’t his, Wei Ying stumbled into his afterlife. 

So, thirteen years ago, Wei Ying died. And now, he was squatting in a dead man’s house because grim reapers didn’t get paid. It was a really fucked up system, to be honest. 

It was silly, really, this afterlife. Wei Ying was undead and thriving but only because he’d created a system that involved looting and sweet talking everyone he met. To be fair, he had a job, but it was only part-time work since he didn’t really exist anymore. And since Wei Ying was legally dead, he chose a different name to survive under. Mo Xuanyu. 

“For the last time, I cannot break into the morgue and steal your diamond earrings. I’m not going to jail again.” Wei Ying leveled a glare the dead woman in front of him. It was too early to be arguing with his latest reap. 

“It’s not stealing if I give you permission. I swear, if my son’s toad of a wife gets her hands on those earrings, I will make your life a living hell!” The old woman was practically screaming. Wei Ying sighed. It was a good thing that no one else could hear her. 

“I promise the police will not understand if I try to explain that I was given permission by the deceased. Tried that a couple times and now the local detective thinks I’m a trying to swindle the relatives of every dead person in town. I had to stop going to the farmers market on Saturday’s because he would basically stalk me.” 

The old woman didn’t seem moved at all. “What kind of angel are you? Aren’t you supposed to fulfill my last wish?” 

“I’m not an angel, ma’am. I’m a grim reaper.” 

“So, you killed me?” 

“No. The aneurism in your brain killed you. I’m just here to make sure your soul gets a chance to move on.” 

The old woman frowned. She turned, watching the scene in front of her. The woman had been mere steps away from the grocery store doors when she died. Sudden dizziness, her eyes rolled back and then gone. She was dead before she hit the ground. 

In all seriousness, it wasn’t a bad way to go. Wei Ying glanced at the woman’s parked car. It was old, wide and sturdy. If she had died behind the wheel of that little tank, who knows what would have happened. He would have had more names on his list, that’s for certain. 

She was also well into her seventies. Most of Wei Ying’s reaps were. Yilling was dying town that the younger generation moved away from when they could. The allure of big cities and high paying jobs was just too exciting. The number of older people in this town far outweighed the young. It was… easier that way. At least the people he reaped had lived full lives. 

The front of the store had been cleared out by police when the ambulance came. Now there was a hesitant crowd shuffling back into the space where the woman’s body once was. The last of the cops were speaking with the store manager, pointing out cameras and probably trying to decide if the footage was needed. The woman watched it all with a small frown. 

“They cleaned me up quick,” she grumbled. “I doubt I even got cold before they packed me up.” 

Wei Ying glanced down at the sticky note where he’d written her name. 

“I’m sorry I can’t get your earrings, Mrs. Emily. I really, really don’t want to get arrested again.” 

“How can a grim reaper get arrested? Aren’t you above all that?” 

“Wish I was, but alas, I’m basically an intern that signed a lifetime contract with fate. Woe is me and all that.” 

“Hmpf. Well, at the very least, go to my car. Theres a bracelet in there that my niece wants to sell on the internet.” 

“I’m not breaking into your car.” 

“You don’t have too, silly boy. I leave the doors unlocked.” 

Wei Ying was always nice to the souls he reaped. It was quiet literally the least he could do. Still, it did get a little annoying being bullied every other day by an incorporeal being. 

Glancing around, Wei Ying went to the car. He needed a bit more strength then he realized to pull open the heavy door. 

“In the glove compartment, that black box,” the woman said. “My husband gave it to me for our first anniversary. According to my niece, it’s worth a fortune.”

Wei Ying flipped open the little box. The bracelet was made entirely of diamonds. “You don’t want your family to have it?” 

“They’ll get plenty from my will. This… well. I guess I just want to be the one giving it to someone. Since you’re the only person who can see me, I guess it’ll do.” 

It wasn’t his place to question the actions of the dead. Wei Ying remembered what it was like those first few days. Nothing made sense, least of all himself. He shut the box and put it into his pocket. 

A rush of warm air made the car door slam closed. Wei Ying turned, the smell of water hitting his nose.

“What is that?” The old woman’s voice was softer around the edges. Sweeter. 

“That’s what you’ve been waiting for.” Wei Ying held out his arm. He smiled at the woman, waiting for her to step forward. 

“I’ve only been to the beach once, with my husband. We always talked about going back one day. When he died, I didn’t see the point anymore.” 

“Well, better late then never I guess.” 

The old woman chuckled, her bony fingers grasping Wei Ying arm tightly. The pair slowly walked towards the shimmering white beach. 

Wei Ying took a deep breath of the salty air and slowed down. He gently pushed the woman forward when she hesitated, his smile never leaving his face. Right before she stepped onto the sand, she spoke one last time. 

“Maybe you are an angel. A strange one that needs a haircut, but… maybe.” 

The beach stayed for a few more seconds as the woman walked along the sand. Wei Ying watched as the light flared and the scene began to fade away. He brushed sand off his shirt and turned to leave, bumping right into the chest of the one detective he tried to avoid. 

“Mo Xuanyu,” the man practically growled.

“Detective Liu! Funny seeing you here this morning. I thought you worked nights?” Wei Ying put on his best smile hoping it would have the same effect on the grumpy detective as it did on his charming younger sister. Spoiler alert, it did not. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Wei Ying shrugged. “Grocery shopping.” 

“You live on the other side of town.” Detective Liu’s slate grey eyes shifted to store entrance. The last of the police had finally left. 

“Yeah, but the guy I spent the night with lives in that apartment complex. I didn’t feel like sticking around for breakfast. Besides, I needed to get up and stretch after everything. You wouldn’t believe the positions we got in to—”

“T-that’s enough! You… just, get out of here, Mo Xuanyu!” 

Wei Ying smirked. Even the barest hint of sex made the detective redder than a tomato. For such a handsome, built guy, he didn’t seem to have tolerance for anything hot and heavy. It was hilarious. 

“See you later, detective!” Wei Ying laughed as he hurried to the closest bus stop. Thankfully, this was his only reap for the day. 

Yilling was small, which meant that unlike the bigger cities, Wei Ying handled every death. Natural, unnatural. Outside influence or accidents, it all fell to him. Once there was a mud slide that took out one of the main roads to Yilling. It was such a big event that another reaper from the neighboring city came over to help. 

Wen Ning was a nice guy, tragically a few years younger then Wei Ying but tall and broad enough to pass for someone older. It was a crazy way to get to know someone, but after being alone with his undead life for a while, it was nice to meet someone in the same shitty job as him. 

Two years ago, with the ageing population of Yilling growing, Wei Ying’s workload became too stressed. Wen Ning transferred to the town and now Wei Ying had a coworker. 

“Wen Ning, pancakes. I need pancakes now.” Wei Ying flung himself down in the booth across from his friend. The charming dinner where Wei Ying first learned about his undead occupation had become his second favorite place in town. 

“Good morning. I’ve ordered you coffee.” Wen Ning slid the steaming coffee pot along with the creamer across the table.

“You’re an angel!” Wei Ying poured half the creamer into the coffee pot. He hadn’t used a cup in this place for years. The waitress only kind of hated him. 

“Wei Ying, I can take the early ones for you. I-I know you don’t like being up at this hour.” 

“No no, it’s fine. It’s on my side of town, remember? Besides, you worked all night.” 

Wen Ning shifted in his seat. He was still wearing his dark red scrubs. Unlike Wei Ying, Wen Ning had a real job that he worked hard to get. He was a nurse at the county hospital, working four twelve hours shifts a week. It made sense, since so much death happened at the hospital. 

When Wen Ning first transferred, the pair sat in the same booth and mapped how to handle the city's deaths. It was pretty simple. Wen Ning handled the hospital and the area around it and Wei Ying handled everything else. Still, his friend liked to worry. 

“I’ve been saving up for a car,” Wen Ning said. “I could help during my lunch breaks.” 

“When you remember to take them,” Wei Ying teased. Still, the idea of a car made his stomach twist. Call him crazy, but after being mowed over by one, he never really wanted him or his friends to be near them. It took him years to even consider taking the bus. 

“It’s fine, Wen Ning, really. Not like I’ve much to do. My boss hired his daughter and now I’m only working once a week.” 

Wen Ning frowned. “Oh… do you, um, do you need help with… bills?” 

“Ugh, stop worrying about me, a-Ning! I’m fine.” 

“Ying-ge, you didn’t have power for two months last winter.” 

“So? Not like it’ll kill me. I’m already dead.” 

“Ge.” 

Wei Ying took another gulp from the coffee pot. “I’m not taking your money. And before you say it, no you can’t be my roommate. We tried it and it was awful.”

“It wasn’t bad…” 

“I made you cry three times from my cooking alone. In my defense, I forgot I refilled the saltshaker with chili powder. Lets not even get into the fact that the neighborhood is like, half an hour from the hospital.” 

In all honesty, Wei Ying just didn’t want to get too attached to Wen Ning. He’d been dead for far longer then Wei Ying. What if one day Wen Ning didn’t come home because he filled his quota? What if Wei Ying was alone again after getting so used to having a real friend? No, it wasn’t worth it. No matter how much it made sense. 

Wen Ning sighed but thankfully didn’t try pestering him anymore. The waitress came by moments later with a menu for Wei Ying and a glare at the coffee pot he was drinking out of. 

With his order placed, Wei Ying moved onto the most important topic of the day. 

“My death day is tomorrow.” 

Wen Ning set down his tea. “It is.” 

“I know I just made a big deal about, like, you not having to cover for me or go out of your way, but uh, can you—”

“I can handle any reaps you have. My m-manager has um, well she really wants me to actually take a lunch break.”

“I’ve been telling you this for months, a-Ning.” 

Wen Ning laughed. “I know. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just do what you need to do.” 

Wei Ying felt the urge to lean over the table and hug his friend. He wouldn’t, only because the last time he tried, his elbow went into a bowl of oatmeal. Instead, Wei Ying lightly kicked Wen Ning’s shin under the table and stole a blueberry from his plate. 

Every reaper handled their death days differently. In the thirteen, almost fourteen years since he’d died, Wei Ying wasn’t sure if he found the right way to approach it. 

The first year, he held up in his apartment all day and missed a reap. It wasn’t even intentional; his mind was just… checked out. After staring at the wall for fifteen hours, Wei Ying shot up and scrambled to find his ledger. There, in wispy black ink, the name and estimated time of death. He’d missed it by half a day. 

Wei Ying had read and re-read the notebook left by his predecessor over a hundred times. He could recite it from memory. Note every section by the different colored pens and tea-stained pages. The reaper before him, the Man in White, had explained what happened to souls that weren’t reaped. Wei Ying ran to the morgue so fast that he threw up in the bushes outside. 

It wasn’t a violent death. Instead, it was an illness of some kind. The family had requested an autopsy to find out what went wrong. Wei Ying stared down at the body in the cold metal drawer. 

There was a giant, ‘y’ shaped incision on his chest. The skin was curling a bit at the end, bright red and shiny. His stomach looked concaved, empty. Like all the parts had been scooped out. Wei Ying felt his head spin as he realized that was probably exactly what happened. The organs had been removed to run tests and determine the cause of death.  

Wei Ying’s hand trembled has he touched the corpse’s arm. He watched the skin light up in an eerie glow where his fingertips met stiff skin. Mere seconds after he pulled away, the soul of the man sat up with a horrified gasp. 

The dead man was grateful to Wei Ying. Crying misty tears, he thanked him for getting him out of his body. Out of the torture of watching a bloody saw split him in two. 

Wei Ying couldn’t say anything besides ‘sorry’. Over and over, under his breath and blurred together. Sorry, sorry, sorry…

The soul stumbled out of the morgue and into a breathtaking snowy mountain. His tears turned to shining ice droplets on his cheeks. Wei Ying watched the man disappear into starlight, the ‘y’ shaped mark on his chest never fading. 

He threw up in the bushes again. That was when a patrolling officer arrested him for public intoxication. Wei Ying was too rattled to even argue that he was vomiting because he was an idiot, not because he was drunk.

So yeah, his first death day was just more trauma. His next few weren’t as memorable. There was one year when he went to use a library computer to order himself his favorite liquor, but the stupid child blocks wouldn’t let him on the right website. For the next week, Wei Ying petitioned for there to be an adult computer lab. It took the nice lady at the front desk telling him just how gross that sounded for his protest to end. 

The librarian let him use her iPad whenever he wanted after that, so it technically ended in a win. 

For a couple of years, Wei Ying visited his own grave. Yes, he was buried in Yilling. Right next to his parents. 

He didn’t go to his funeral, all those years ago. Funnily enough, it felt too morbid. That, and he didn’t think he could stand seeing his family. Jiang Cheng with his grump face. Jiang Yanli with her new baby. His aunt and uncle. All his friends. Lan Zhan. Wei Ying didn’t trust himself to be still around them. To not rush over and hug them, cry over them, tell them he was still here. 

It was why he didn’t have a cell phone. Just a landline left over from the Man in White. No computers either. Just the library and a nice old lady’s iPad. Wei Ying knew what he’d do. He’d digitally stalk everyone he’d ever known. Every second he could spare would be dedicated to watching his loved ones live. 

It was best to leave his life behind. As hard as it was, Wei Ying was sure he would go crazy if he even had an inch of them in his afterlife. He was never good at letting things go. 

His death day was in the fall, right after his birthday. It was always a cold day and sometimes, if he got lucky, it rained. The rain smelled different in Yilling, but it always reminded him of home. Of hazel eyes so bright that they almost seemed gold. 

The sun was shining this year. There was still a chill in the air, but it was warm enough that Wei Ying left his scarf at home. He chose to walk to the cemetery, forgoing the bus or even his bike for the day. One thing that he consistently did for his death days was avoid motor vehicles. The screeching of tires almost seemed to play in his head on repeat all day. 

Yilling Cemetery was a wide, flat place. There was an iron fence all around it and one small building on the west side. Recently, an influencer had been coming by and cleaning some of the old graves for content. It would be a sweet thing if she didn’t play pop music on her phone and use products that were too harsh for some of the older stones. Wei Ying anonymously sent her profiles to Detective Liu a while back. The girl still showed up after three citations.

Thankfully, the wannabe influencer’s car wasn’t in the lot today. Instead, there was a silver car that Wei Ying didn’t recognize. Not that he kept track of all the cars in Yilling, but this one was noticeably different. First off, it was electric. Some fancy brand that even Tesla couldn’t compete with. Second, the license plate was from out of state. 

It was odd, but not odd enough for Wei Ying. He was a grim reaper for crying out loud. There was very little that surprised him. 

As Wei Ying walked along the familiar path to his grave, he noticed a figure already standing at the site. Panicking, Wei Ying ran to the nearest tree. 

The figure didn’t seem to hear him. They were facing his grave, broad shoulders slopped and sad looking. 

Wei Ying tried to breathe. There was no one in town that would visit his grave. The little boy he saved and his grandma came by once or twice, but that kid was eighteen now. There was no way he’d grown that much in those years. 

It had to be someone he knew. Jiang Cheng maybe? No, the hair isn’t right. It couldn’t be the peacock either, not without Jiang Yanli. Wei Ying quickly looked around for his sister and nephew, but there was no one else to be seen. 

Another possibility came to mind. Another person whose name made his heart pound. Lan Zhan was well into his amazing life when Wei Ying died. It must have hurt, but they were in a weird place at the time it all happened. They’d drifted apart after high school ended and went in different directions afterwards. Socially, physically, pretty much in every way a two people could drift, they simply weren’t in each other’s lives anymore. They were going to try and be better. Wei Ying remembered the text conversation right before he died. They were going to talk, on the phone, for the first time in ages. He was so excited. 

Could it be Lan Zhan, standing at his grave on the anniversary of his death? But why? Why would be come all the way to Yilling for one silly day?

The figure at the grave turned and Wei Ying almost yelped. He quickly ducked behind the tree and prayed to whatever divine being that saddled him with this shitty luck that the person didn’t see him. Or if they did, they’d write it off to nothing and then leave. 

After being chosen to become a grim reaper at twenty-two, Wei Ying should have learned that fate loved to laugh at him. 

“Are you alright?” 

Wei Ying had forgotten what Lan Zhan’s voice sounded like. How deep it was. How smooth. It was like the first swell of rain during a winter storm. Like rumbling thunder high up in the sky. If just his voice was this incredible, this intense, Wei Ying dreaded looking at his face. 

But how could he not? It had been fourteen years, and Wei Ying wanted to see his friend. He tilted his head up and felt his jaw drop. 

It was a shocking thing, being both undead and in your thirties, to suddenly realize that all those wonderful feelings you had for your best friend might go beyond just normal companionship. Standing in front of Lan Zhan, seeing those eyes, those cheek bones, those lips, Wei Ying felt untethered from the very ground itself. Lan Zhan had always been handsome, but now…

“Do you need me to call someone?” 

Wei Ying blinked, closing his mouth with a snap. “Uh, what?” 

“You went pale and I asked you several more questions without a response. Are you unwell?” 

“Yes. Uh I mean, n-no. No, I’m fine. Physically. Just um… I was surprised? To see you? N-not you specifically! But like, to see you- or anyone, here. In the cemetery. I just, never see anyone here most of the time.” Wei Ying wanted to jump in the nearest grave and bury himself alive. Well, not ‘alive’ technically. Details. 

Lan Zhan had politely stayed quiet for Wei Ying’s entire bit of word vomit. He glanced back towards the grave, towards Wei Ying’s grave, before speaking again. 

“I am visiting my friend.” 

“M-me too. Well, not your friend. I don’t know them. But my friend. I live in town and visit when I can.”  The lie came easily enough. He did consider himself his own best friend. It was only a little conceited to think so. “Oh, but don’t let me interrupt you! Sorry, you just startled me. I uh, get a little spooked here sometimes. Just, really in my own head, y’know?” 

“I apologize for startling you.” 

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’m the weird one here.” Wei Ying couldn’t help but smile. He couldn’t believe it; he was talking to Lan Zhan. Looking at him and taking in every new detail of his face. Time had really been kind to him. 

Lan Zhan, for his part, looked like he’d rather be anywhere else, but his good manners were making him stay. It was absolutely hilarious watching that handsome face squirm. Being on the other side of Lan Zhan’s attention, the side that didn’t care, was intriguing. Wei Ying could barely remember a time when Lan Zhan wasn’t his friend. 

“Well, I’ll leave you alone now. Thanks for checking one me, but unfortunately, stupidity can’t be cured. Bye!” Wei Ying turned and quickly walked back along the path. As fun as it was to talk with Lan Zhan, to soak up all his glory, his chest was beginning to feel weird. A deep pit of sorrow was swallowing him whole and Wei Ying wanted to be far away before it consumed him. 

After a few moments, Wei Ying turned to look back at his grave one more time. Lan Zhan was still watching him. A shiver trailed up his spine. Wei Ying pulled his jacket tighter and hurried away. 

There were a lot of things Wei Ying avoided thinking about. Dogs for one. Even the slightest yip from a puppy made the flight instinct in his animal brain flare like a firework. Wei Ying didn’t like to think about how long ago Wen Ning had died and the sister he left behind. They’d only talked about it once when Wei Ying asked why he decided to become a nurse. It seemed to cruel for such a sweet guy. 

Wei Ying didn’t like thinking about his own people that were still alive. One of the first things the Man in White wrote about was how important it was for a reaper to stay away from their loved ones. 

“The urge will be there, trust me, I know. But you can’t interact with your family or friends anymore. They are living and you are dead. Time will pass and you’ll be forced to watch as they continue to grow and change. You will have to watch as they die and leave you behind. 

It’s also cruel to them. There are many risks, but I think one of the biggest ones is the chance that you might bring down your loved ones with you. As grim reapers, we are still. We don’t age, don’t get sick. Our bodies will reform and heal after any injury. We can’t have children. Who we were at the moment of our deaths will be who we are for the next hundred or so years. We cannot let our loved ones stay by our sides through all of that. We cannot let them be idle, to waist their potential. 

It’s not fair, believe me, I know, but if there’s one thing that I’ve learned after all this time is that death can be just as unfair as life. We reapers have to weather it the best we can.” 

After speaking to Lan Zhan for the first time in fourteen years, Wei Ying re-read that passage over and over. His fingers trailed over the pretty letters. The Man in White had perfect handwriting. Clean and clear, it was like it had been typed instead of written. 

There was one sentence that Wei Ying always lingered on. One word, really. ‘…for the next hundred years or so…’

A hundred years. Was that how long he was going to be here? On this planet, in this life, while everything else moved forward? 

Wei Ying knew that he didn’t look different in the mirror. Still freshly twenty-two, skinny with bright eyes. He looked like a kid even though his mind felt a decade older. To the living, his face was different. He could see it in pictures sometimes, in security cameras. It was just as young looking, but far more sleep deprived. With dark circles under the eyes and a nose that was a little crooked. 

It irked Wei Ying that that was the face Lan Zhan saw the other day. Someone who didn’t even exist. Someone that Lan Zhan barely had the patience for. 

Wei Ying tossed the notebook on his bedside table and groaned into his pillow. The Man in White was right. It wasn’t a good idea to talk to the people from his life. If just seeing Lan Zhan made his stomach twist and heart crack, then what would happen if he saw his brother? His sister? It wouldn’t be pretty. 

Still, the urge to seek out Lan Zhan again was horrible. It was like he was a rat in laboratory, reaching for a chunk of cheese on an electric plate. He knew he was going to be shocked, but he just couldn’t help reaching out. 

Groaning one last time, Wei Ying rolled out of bed and pulled on the closest pair of pants. His boss was still only giving him one full day of work. Wei Ying had browsed for job listings online at the library, but everything required a degree or a ton of experience. When he lamented to the librarian, she mentioned that even her job required a masters. 

Wei Ying had a great degree in chemistry with a minor in Chinese. Mo Xuanyu had nothing. Maybe he should spend his time taking classes at the community college in town. Learning was always one of his favorite pastimes. 

With nothing much else to do and a reap later that night, Wei Ying made himself a sandwich and filled his water bottle with Emperors Smile. He didn’t get to spend his death day at his grave and it kind of bothered him. 

One bus ride later, Wei Ying was walking along the paths to his headstone. There were flowers at his grave. Red ones, with little pink and purple blooms throughout. There were single stem flowers on his parents’ graves too. It looked like they might have been bought separately. The bouquet at his grave didn’t have any empty spots. 

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan… so polite. You didn’t have to get flowers for all of us.” Wei Ying took his own single stem flowers and placed them next to the others. They were wildflowers, scooped up on the short walk from the bus stop to the cemetery. His mother always loved wildflowers. 

It looked like Lan Zhan had taken the time to clean up a little bit. There were no fallen leaves on the ground around the stones. No twigs or wayward trash. Wei Ying’s name on the grey stone steamed more stark than usual. Any dirt that had been blown into the engraved letters was scrubbed clean. 

Either the wannabe influencer came back, or Lan Zhan took the time to clean all three stones himself. The idea made Wei Ying’s eyes water for completely different reasons. 

Wei Ying tilted his head back and blinked away the tears. He ran his hand over his parent’s stones, tracing the names with his fingers, and then sat down next to his own. It felt a little wrong, leaning against a headstone, but Wei Ying figured it was his so who really cared. 

“Happy death day to me, I guess,” he murmured. Wei Ying took his water bottle and poured out half of the alcohol onto the grass in front of his headstone. He drank the rest of it in two big gulps. 

It burned so smoothly, just like the first time he tasted it. Wei Ying let his melancholy take over, his eyes burning with decade old tears, and bit into his sandwich. 

It was cold. 

Wei Ying stood in the middle of the department store, looking at clothes he wasn’t going to buy. He glanced at his watch. Eight minutes until someone died. 

On a crumpled sticky note in his pocket, there was a name written in messy ink. Wei Ying still hadn’t found A.P. Xu and it was beginning to stress him out. He kept his eye on everyone in the store and was beginning to think he might just have to shout the name out and see who responded. Not the most subtle way to do his job but being the town crazy guy was slowly becoming his brand. 

All the employees wore name tags, but none matched. There were eleven other people inside besides him. Three he manages to rule out by eavesdropping, one lady he flirted with to get her name, one guy he pretended to know, and then then were the two kids that were shouted at by their mom. Thank goodness it wasn’t the kids. 

Still, that left four people. That was three too many. Wei Ying really hoped it wasn’t the mom. It was hard to detect his emotions from the situations when it came to kids losing a parent. 

Seven minutes left. 

Wei Ying double checked his note. As he stuffed it back into his pocket, the automatic doors at the entrance slid open. 

Great, another— holy shit.

By some cosmic joke, Lan Zhan walked into the department store. There was a stain on his white shirt, tea most likely. He walked straight over to the men’s section and began browsing through the button-down shirts. Wei Ying felt like he was going to vomit. 

Someone was going to die, and Lan Zhan was still in Yilling. Fate really was such a bitch. 

Six minutes left. 

Wei Ying focused on his job. He shuffled over to the checkout desk, hoping to see a credit card for the man paying at the counter. A sudden pop made then entire store panic. 

“Everyone on the ground now!” A harsh voice yelled. Several people screamed as two more gun shots went off. Wei Ying wanted to bang his head against the counter. He really hated murders. 

Five people in ski masks rushed into the department store. Wei Ying couldn’t help but glance over at the men’s section, but Lan Zhan wasn’t there. Panic made Wei Ying’s head spin. 

“I said on the ground!” 

There was a gun pointed at his chest. One of the robbers broke off from the group and cornered the cashier station that Wei Ying was at. One thought kept playing in his mind. Lan Zhan’s name wasn’t on his sticky note. He would be fine. Wei Ying sighed, letting his worry rush out.

“Yes sir,” he said, holding back on the sarcasm. It was hard to take a guy seriously when he was robbing a department store. The man’s attention when to the cashier and customer. 

“Empty the register. And your pockets!” 

Wei Ying watched the two terrified people shuffle up to their knees to comply. 

Five minutes left. 

The customer handed over his wallet. The cashier emptied what little money the register had into the robber’s bag. 

“Wallet too,” The man growled. The girl cashier had tears in her eyes. She reached into her pocket and held out a purple wallet. Her hands were shaking so badly that the wallet missed the bag and dropped to the ground. Wei Ying leaned forward and glanced at the ID in the clear outer pocket of the wallet. Christina Bowen. It wasn’t her. 

“I-I’m sorry!” she cried, ducking back behind the counter. 

The robber swore, bending down to pick up the wallet. As he did, something fell out of his sleeve. Wei Ying snatched it up before he could notice. It was a shiny medical ID bracelet. Engraved on the inside was a bunch of information, including a name. Angus Xu. There were still three minutes to spare.

Wei Ying reached out and ran his hand along the robber’s ankle. He watched the misty grey light trail along his fingertips as the soul detached. Now all he had to do was wait out the rest. 

Another shot rang out in back of the store. Seconds later, the lights began to flicker as all the fire sprinklers turned on at once. The bullet must have set them off somehow. 

“Son of a— hey! We gotta get out of here before the cops come!” The robber near Wei Ying shouted. 

“But we barely got anything!” Another voice called back. Wei Ying had the urge to say that’s what they get for holding up a department store instead of a bank or hell, even a grocery store. They at least got more cash. 

The lights flickered out completely and Wei Ying flinched as more people screamed. He turned his head, resting casually on his folded arms. Bright hazel eyes were staring at him from across the floor. 

Lan Zhan was on the ground, his white shirt even more stained from the dirty carpet. He must have ducked down as soon as the first gunshot went off. He had his phone up to his ear, one hand cupping the side so no ambient light could be seen. His lips were moving so minutely, it was almost impossible to see. But Wei Ying could see. He’d spent years studying everything about Lan Zhan. 

That same feeling from the graveyard, that warmth in his chest, came back with a vengeance. 

The floor was getting soaked with water. Wei Ying was certain there was a puddle forming on the small of his back. The center aisles of the store were tile, while the rest was carpet. Wei Ying knew from experience that this particular tile was slippery when wet. It wasn’t his first time reaping at this department store. 

Uninterested in the bickering robbers, Wei Ying continued to look at Lan Zhan. He wasn’t murmuring into his phone anymore. The police must be well on their way. Compared to most living people, Lan Zhan seemed very levelheaded and calm. His only competition was Wei Ying himself who’d been in more hold-ups and accidents then he could count. 

Feeling that familiar rush of mischievousness from his youth, Wei Ying waved at Lan Zhan and grinned. He could practically hear Lan Zhan saying ‘shameless’ with the twitch of his brow. 

In the end, it wasn’t a gun shot that took down Angus Xu. It was arguing with his robber buddies and slipping on the wet tile. One of the other robbers pushed him, and he went flying down the aisle headfirst into a metal clothing stand. Sometimes all it took to die was one solid strike to the wrong part of your head. That and a long rusty bolt entering your temple. 

The police arrived just in time to watch the remaining robbers begin blaming each other for pushing poor Angus. Once the handcuffs came out, they all said it was his idea to rob the department store. All the while, the emergency sprinkles still rained down on them. 

“What a bunch of assholes! I told them we should have hit up some convenience stores first for practice.” Angus Xu’s soul had moved to the checkout counter, backing up from the police that were checking his body. Wei Ying stood and let the medical ID bracelet fall to the floor.

“I was going to ask, a department store? Really?” Wei Ying frowned at the ghostly man. “Holding up any store is kind of stupid nowadays. Most people use Apple Pay.” 

Angus shrugged. “I don’t know how to like, hack a bank account. This was the only thing we could think of.” 

“You could have not robbed anything, y’know. That was an option.” 

“I guess, but where’s the fun in that?” 

Wei Ying clapped Angus on the shoulder. “True! And now you’re about to go on the most fun adventure I can offer. A one-way ticket to the beyond.” 

The water finally shut off, and Wei Ying got a full view of Detective Liu’s angry face glaring right at him. 

“After I deal with this,” he sighed. 

Wei Ying smiled as the detective marched over.

“Mo Xuanyu,” Detective Liu narrowed his already sharp eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“I would say shopping, but in reality I actually got a shower.” His clothes were soaked with odd smelling water. Suddenly, all Wei Ying could think about was how long that water had been sitting stagnant in the sprinkler’s tanks. 

“You have a habit of showing up at crime scenes.” 

“I’m terribly unlucky.” 

“Are you making jokes?” 

“Yes. I’m extremely uncomfortable and this is the only way I can feel even remotely calm in your intimidating presence.” 

Detective Liu blinked. Sometimes, Wei Ying’s word vomit came in handy. Just as he was about to spew out even more nonsense, another voice entered the conversation. 

“I am the one who called the authorities. I understand you need my testimony of events?” Lan Zhan’s cool stare seemed to meet a worthy opponent in Detective Liu’s fiery glare. Wei Ying resisted the urge to step behind Lan Zhan’s very broad shoulders. 

“You can give your testimony to one of the uniformed officers,” The detective said.

“This man had nothing to do with the events that transpired,” Lan Zhan countered. 

Wei Ying blinked. That was as close to an interruption he’d ever heard from his friend. A tiny smile curled at the corner of his lips. 

“This man had been present at two crimes scenes where people died.” 

“That guy died?” Wei Ying exclaimed. Time to play up the hapless fool angle. “Uh, can I not be in the same room as a dead person? That really freaks me out.” 

Off to the side, Angus Xu’s ghostly form scoffs. 

Detective Liu seems to notice the rest of the witnesses being led out by his team. He frowns and quickly instructs them to follow the rest out. A firm grip grabs Wei Ying's arm for a moment longer. 

“Don’t leave without giving a statement. And stop showing up at crime scenes.” 

Wei Ying nodded and made sure to play up his unease by repeatedly glancing at the body. Detective Liu grumbled under his breath and lightly shoved him along. 

Once outside, Wei Ying lingered near Lan Zhan. He gave his own testimony to a uniformed officer, gave his information (carefully crafted by a reaper three towns over that somehow had government ties), and declined a free session with the police in house trauma counselor. He went once after being in a small restaurant explosion that killed six people. Three reaped by him, the others by Wen Ning. The counselor in question really only wanted to talk about the details of the crime. If Wei Ying had to guess, they were an avid true crime junkie. 

Angus Xu walked out of the department store and into a shimmering wall of binary code. Sometimes, the afterlife portals (or whatever) took on a much more abstract form. Funny, since Angus apparently wasn’t tech savvy enough to hack bank accounts. Maybe his binary code beyond was video game related? 

“Are you alright?” A low voice cut thought rest of the chatter. Lan Zhan still looked so handsome, soaked in weird water and wearing a stained shirt. Wei Ying was sure he looked like a drowned rat. 

“I’m good. Just hungry. I guess I react weirdly to stressful situations.” 

“Mn.” 

“Um, I’m Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu. Unluckiest guy in town.” Wei Ying held out his hand. This was possibly the stupidest thing he’d even done in his afterlife. Stupid, but he couldn’t resist. Not when Lan Zhan was standing right in front of him. 

“Lan Zhan.” He took Wei Ying’s hand in a firm grip. Lan Zhan’s handshake, like the rest of him, was strangely perfect. How could one even be good at handshakes? 

“Nice to meet you. Fair warning, Detective Liu is looking at you now with his grumpy face.” 

Both men turned to see said detective glaring in their direction. Wei Ying waved. 

“Does he… often insinuate that you are guilty of a crime?” Lan Zhan asked. 

“Most of the time, yeah. Genuinely, I have the worst luck. I always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and now he thinks I’m some kind of criminal mastermind. I’ve tried telling him that’s impossible because I have to google ‘how long do I bake chicken’ every time I cook it. I don’t even have internet at my place. I go to the library to look it up in the mornings when I know I want chicken for dinner.” 

Lan Zhan’s eyes never wavered as Wei Ying spoke. It took far too long for him to realize it was probably a bad thing to be so closely observed. But… it just felt so right. Wei Ying had lived a long time with Lan Zhan’s attention on him. Those bright hazel eyes, so focused and attentive. Wei Ying had forgotten what it felt like to really, truly be seen. He forgot what it felt like to matter to someone living.

“So… I have to go now. Uh, I’ve got to get to the library.” Wei Ying rubbed his hands on his pants. It didn’t help dry his sweaty palms. 

“Do you need to google chicken?” Lan Zhan’s serious tone made him chuckle. 

“No, no. Job hunting. My boss isn’t giving me hours.” 

Lan Zhan frowned but didn’t say anything further. 

“It was nice to meet you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying smiled. He stared at the man in front of him for a long time. “Hope you enjoy Yilling while you’re here. It’s a nice place to visit.” 

Just as he turned to walk away, Lan Zhan spoke again. 

“I’m moving here next week.” 

Wei Ying froze for several seconds. He whipped back around, mouth agape. “W-what?” 

“I am… moving to Yilling. I just had a meeting with my realtor this morning.” 

“Oh… oh! Uh, then welcome to the town! It’s um, well it’s small, but charming I guess? I don’t know, that’s what the internet says about us. And apparently parts of the town are haunted, but I don’t know if I believe that.” 

Wei Ying was panicking. Lan Zhan couldn’t be moving to Yilling. Why the hell would he? Compared to where they grew up, it was nothing. A speck of dust next to a glittering diamond. Wei Ying liked it, but he also liked adding chili powder to hot chocolate. It was an acquired tasted. 

Having Lan Zhan in Yilling was dangerous. Wei Ying was a grim reaper, separated from the living by a very firm line. With Lan Zhan, there was a direct channel to his life. A path he could not follow for fear of ruining everyone that it led to. 

He couldn’t get involved. He couldn’t see Lan Zhan more than a casual hello in the grocery store. The Man in White had written it all down, how it could all go wrong. Wei Ying couldn’t hold Lan Zhan back. He couldn’t watch the years pass on his dear friend’s face, dreading the moment his name ended up on his ledger. 

But how could he stay away? 

Wei Ying felt an old ache in his chest pound. He missed his life. He missed it like a bird with a broken wing missed flying. Twenty-two was such a short amount of time to live. There was still so much he wanted to do, so much potential in his mind, his heart, his hands. It was all gone in one split second decision. One life for another. 

Fourteen years had passed, and while Wei Ying doesn’t regret how he died, he still mourns that he did. Lan Zhan mourned him too. Was he still holding on to what they could have been? What could they have been? They were friends, best friends, in fact. Wei Ying never thought to want for more. 

“I guess I’ll see you around?” Wei Ying said tentatively. It felt like he was breaking some cosmic rule. 

Light hazel eyes seemed to soften around the edges. While Wei Ying would never call Lan Zhan detached or cold, he definitely seemed to hold himself differently around certain people. 

Two weeks ago, at the cemetery, Lan Zhan looked at Wei Ying like he would a stranger. Today, a bit of that restraint faded away. 

“Mn. I will see you around, Mo Xuanyu.” 

Wei Ying's lips moved before he could even think. “Looking forward to it, Lan Zhan.” 

“If I get smited by our divine or whatever bosses, will you take care of the crows that hang out in my backyard?” In lieu of a greeting, Wei Ying sprawled at the counter Wen Ning was currently sitting behind. 

“Um, yes? They like crackers, right?” 

“Yeah, and Oreos. The double stuffed ones.” 

“I don’t think that’s good for the birds.” 

“It’s not good for me, a-Ning. I gave them regular Oreo’s once, and they dive bombed the hell out of me for three days. I used a pot lid like a shield.” 

The Yilling Central Hospital was quiet most days. The halls were usually filled with people over fifty. Most of Wei Ying’s first decade as a reaper were spent in these halls, taking the souls of those passing on from illness or age.

Without a medical degree or any other reason to be there normally, Wei Ying convinced the head of the hospital to let him volunteer. He found a dusty guitar in the house he inherited from the Man in White and began brushing up on his old skills. Wei Ying preferred woodwinds, but it was much harder getting a good flute or oboe with the almost negative amount of money he earned. 

“Here you go.” Wei Ying pulled a sticky not out of his pocket. “Two today. Couple hours apart.” 

Wen Ning sighed when he read the names. “They’re husband and wife. That’s so sad.” 

Wei Ying hummed in agreement. 

The ledger that was delivered to his door every month didn’t have too many details, but it was more then what he wrote on his sticky notes. Full name, date of birth, estimated time of death, preferred gender, location and cause. The cause was always extremely broad. Discriptions like 'outside influence' could mean anything from trip and falls to murder.  

Once, when Wei Ying had just begun his afterlife, he experimented. The ledger always appeared at his door on the first of the month. It arrived in a manila envelope, so painfully average and clerical. At first, Wei Ying tried to see who delivered the ledger. He’d stayed up all night at the window facing his front door. The ledger appeared at the back door instead. 

Then, Wei Ying stayed somewhere else for the first of the month. He spent what little money the Man in White left and got a hotel room across town for two nights. The ledger was delivered to his door with his morning room service. 

Whoever, or whatever that presided over his afterlife was always watching. Which meant there really was a risk of being seen cavorting with Lan Zhan. 

“Why do I need to watch the crows?” Wen Ning asked. 

“Because I’m making a huge mistake and I… I just can’t stop myself.” 

Wen Ning frowned. “Ge…?”

“Someone from my life is moving here next week. I’ve already spoken to him twice.” 

“That… that’s not good.”

“I know.” 

It was quiet at this particular nurse’s station. There were a few hospital staffers walking past, a patient shuffling around for their morning walk, but overall, it was quiet enough for their conversation. It wasn’t like anyone would understand what they were talking about anyway. 

“I don’t know what to do, a-Ning,” Wei Ying sighed. “I guess it was a little easier, being away from everyone for so long. Not much changed for me here in Yilling since I died. Hell, I got an actual house instead of the tiny apartment that I was renting. It’s just… with him here, I guess I’m just face to face with what I lost again. It feels a little more.. fresh.” 

Wei Ying didn’t like thinking about his death. He didn’t like thinking about everyone he left behind. Now, one of those people was about to be in his town. It wasn’t fair. 

“I stayed by my sister for thirty years,” Wen Ning said quietly. “She… she didn’t move from the apartment we shared. It was right by the hospital she worked at, so it made sense. Every weekend, I would go to the park by her place, just in case she decided to go for a walk. I-I would sit there for hours.” 

Wen Ning died when he was nineteen in the very hospital his sister worked at. It was a genetic thing, at least that’s how Wei Ying understood it. A flaw carried by generations of his family, before it metastasized into something deadly for Wen Ning. It hurt to think about for too long. 

“When she finally moved away, I felt a little lost,” Wen Ning said. “It was like the last thing connecting me to my life just… snapped. I didn’t know what to do either.” 

“Where did she go? Your sister?” Wei Ying asked. At this question, his friend smiled. 

“She was offered a research laboratory of her own. She runs an entire facility in California now, studying gene mutations.”

“That’s amazing.” 

“Y-yeah… it really is.” Wen Ning had a soft smile on his face. “I’m sorry that your friend being here makes things a little harder, but, at least for a little while, you get to see him. Isn’t that pretty great?”

Wei Ying remembered the rush of emotions he felt when he first set eyes on Lan Zhan in the cemetery. The hope and joy flooding his veins. Those feelings, they were everything. Even in his afterlife, Wei Ying still had to find the joy in his existence. Being around Lan Zhan, just seeing him, wasn’t that happiness worth the risk? 

Weeks passed and Wei Ying did see Lan Zhan at the grocery store. He smiled and waved, getting a polite head nod back. Lan Zhan’s attention seemed to linger a little longer each time, before they went on their separate ways. It kept happening as the weeks passed. Two neighbors smiling politely as they went about their business. Completely normal. 

Between his trips to the hospital to pester Wen Ning and volunteer, Wei Ying finally found another job at a convenience store. The hours were plentiful and perfectly weird enough that he could work around his reaping schedule. It also included the benefit of getting the expired snacks at the end of each week. Wei Ying’s cupboards were now overflowing with cup noodles and slightly stale Doritos. It was bliss. 

It was during one of these shifts Wei Ying got to have another conversation with Lan Zhan. 

The doorbell jingled, signaling Wei Ying that he needed to stop alphabetizing the energy drinks. He didn’t need to do this, but hearing how the fluffy haired kid on day shift basically cried every time it happened was reward enough. 

Wei Ying closed the fridge door, his fingers a little numb from handling all the cold drinks. As he walked back behind the counter, a familiar figure turned down the snack aisle. 

When they were teens, Wei Ying had the hardest time getting Lan Zhan to eat junk food. His idea of a snack was plain celery, no peanut butter or anything to improve the taste. Wei Ying distinctly remembers buying every type of M&M he could find and making Lan Zhan do a taste test. His favorite became the ones with pretzels inside the chocolate shell. 

A warm feeling burst in Wei Ying’s chest when he saw Lan Zhan bend down towards the lowest of the candy shelves. The pretzel M&M’s were tucked away on the bottom shelf. 

His smile stayed bright and beaming by the time Lan Zhan came up to the counter. 

“Hiya!” Wei Ying said cheerfully. 

“Xuanyu. It’s good to see you.” Lan Zhan nodded. 

“You too! Working late?” 

“No. Just can’t seem to fall asleep.” 

Wei Ying paused, the packet of candy in his hand. Lan Zhan never had trouble falling asleep before. It was always the exact opposite. He was one of those people who could close their eyes and be out in minutes. Wei Ying had always been extremely jealous. 

Lan Zhan paid with change for his one packet of candy. 

“That sucks,” he said finally. “Do you… normally struggle falling asleep? I do, but like, it’s mainly because I can’t shut my brain off, y’know? Always thinking about something.” 

“I struggle with insomnia,” Lan Zhan said. “Typically, I can manage it with a good day time routine, but I am still adjusting from the move. It has been… difficult.” 

Looking at him under the white, fluorescent lights, Wei Ying could see the exhaustion in his body. The slope of his shoulders, the slight redness in his eyes. Lan Zhan’s hair had been long where they were young, but around the end of high school, he’d cut it. It remained short all these years later. The longest strands got caught in his lashes, flickering with every blink. 

“That… sucks.” Wei Ying didn’t know what else to say. 

“Mn. So, you’ve said.” 

“Yeah, I’m not that eloquent at three in the morning. Catch me around midnight and I’m basically the new Shakespeare.” 

It might have been a trick of the light, but Wei Ying was sure he saw the corner of Lan Zhan’s lips raise in a smile. 

“Thank you, for the conversation,” Lan Zhan said.

“Thanks to you too. Not many people even say ‘hello’ this late at night. They just grab their stuff, pay and go.” 

“If I’m awake again at this hour, I’ll be sure to visit.” 

“For a snack?”

“And a pleasant conversation.”

Wei Ying wondered if he was blushing. It certainly felt like Lan Zhan had set him on fire. His words were like a spark to the kindling that used to be Wei Ying’s heart. 

Stop. Don’t think about it. Just enjoy this new friendship. Be thankful you can see him even for a second. 

Wei Ying put on a charming smile. “Any time Lan Zhan! I hope I don’t see you too often though. You need your sleep.” 

“Mn.” 

Lan Zhan said one last goodbye before leaving the store. Wei Ying wasn’t sure, but for a moment, he thought he saw Lan Zhan linger by the window.  It must have been his imagination. 

Wei Ying sat on the curb one street over from the accident. The sticky note in his pocket had felt heavy as a boulder all morning, and even now, its presence weighed on him. 

“I think I like Pidgey because I like pigeons. We’re so mean to them, but did you know that we used to use them to send messages?” Wei Ying looked at the boy on his right. His name was Charlie and he was twelve years old. Forty-six minutes ago, he was riding an electric scooter when a car turned left without checking for pedestrians. He wasn’t wearing a helmet. 

“Bird Pokémon are so weak! I like fire Pokémon. Like Skeledirge.” 

“I have no idea what that is.”

“It’s the final form for Fuecoco!”

“Oh, the little crocodile guy? Dang, I am so behind.” 

Charlie agreed and described in detail how is totally awesome team of fire Pokémon would demolish Wei Ying’s bird team. It made perfect sense to be honest. 

Another cop car turned down the road. Charlie when quiet and watched it with a solemn look on his face. Wei Ying didn’t even know that kids could look solemn. 

The boy sniffed. “I forgot my helmet at school,” he said quietly. “I thought that… that I would be okay. It was just one time…” 

Wei Ying swallowed down a lump in his throat. He shuffled closer to the boy and let him lean against his shoulder. 

“I remember feeling pretty invincible as a kid,” Wei Ying said. “Hell, I felt that way all the way until I died. It just… it feels so far away.” 

“I don’t want to be dead.” 

“Me either.” 

“Can’t you make it so that I’m alive again? I’ll be good this time, I promise.” 

Wei Ying let out a shuttering breath. “I don’t have that power, buddy. But if I did, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

Charlie turned his face into Wei Ying’s shoulder. He had learned long ago that souls can cry. 

“I want to see my mom.” 

“…okay. But just so you know, she won’t see you.” 

“I don’t care.” 

Wei Ying walked Charlie back to the street of his accident. The whole place was blocked off by police cars and firetrucks. In the parking lot, there was a collection of people huddled around a white minivan. A woman was half collapsed on the hood of the car. 

“I didn’t know someone could cry so much,” Charlie murmured.

“She loved you very much,” Wei Ying replied. 

“Yeah… oh, there’s my dad.” 

A man stumbled over to the woman. They locked eyes for a second and suddenly wrapped each other up in a desperate embrace. Wei Ying could hear their howls of pain from across the street. 

“I wonder if they know to sell my Pokémon cards,” Charlie said suddenly. “I pulled a shiny rare last month and just got it graded. Can you tell them? I don’t want them to give away my collection for free.” 

 “Sure, buddy. I’ll let them know. Somehow.” Wei Ying ruffled the kid’s hair. It wasn't the first time he sent an anoymous letter to a grieving family.

“Thanks. Um, now what?” 

Wei Ying felt a warm breeze on his back. He turned around and saw a closed store front light up with pale blue light. Inside the ghostly store, there were rows and rows of arcade cabinets. 

“Now, you get to go there.” 

Charlie turned and instantly his eyes lit up. He hurried forward, turning at the last-minute back to Wei Ying. 

“Want to come play a few games?” he asked. 

“Nah, you go on ahead, buddy. Next time. I promise.” 

Charlie waved before turning back to the spectral door. As soon as he flung it open, the vision burst into pixelated fractures, drifting towards sky. Wei Ying didn’t let his smile fall until the last of the lights disappeared. 

Wei Ying walked for a while before he couldn’t hold his panic back. He ducked into the nearest alley and stuck his head inside a dumpster. Vomit erupted from his mouth, tasting like coffee and bile. His body ached with phantom pains from his own accident, the one that took his life. Since his soul was reaped properly before, Wei Ying didn’t feel the pain from his death. However, he did walk away from his body. He saw just what that impact did to him. 

Car accident reaps were the hardest for Wei Ying. Couple that with the deceased being a kid, it was shocking that Wei Ying made it through the day at all. 

For a split second before it all happened, Wei Ying thought about stopping Charlie before he got on his scooter. Having a conversation with the kid, offering him a smoothie or something from the nearby coffee shop. Every idea that popped into his head felt creepier than the last and Wei Ying knew that anything he tried would have had Detective Liu on his ass faster than a seagull on a basket of French fries. 

And even if he had been successful, stopped Charlie from riding down that road, it wouldn’t have mattered. Souls have an expiration date. Charlie’s time was up. 

The smell of garbage made Wei Ying throw up again, but this time there wasn’t really anything left inside. He hadn’t managed to eat all day knowing what reap he had in the afternoon. Letting the dumpster lid close, Wei Ying stumbled out of the alley, his eye’s sticky with tears. 

It only made sense with his terrible luck that he should run into Lan Zhan. Thankfully, he didn’t literally run into him. Wei Ying never would have recovered had he gotten Lan Zhan’s pretty grey coat covered in dumpster grime. 

“L-Lan Zhan! Fancy seeing you here?” 

“Mo Xuanyu? Are you… you look unwell.” The were a small crease between Lan Zhan’s brows. Wei Ying remembered being sixteen and poking that crease with his finger. 

“I feel like you say that to me every time we speak,” Wei Ying mumbled. “Do I really look sick all the time?” 

“No. You simply…” 

“I simply what?” 

Lan Zhan hesitated, his gaze flicking down for a moment. “You are very expressive. It’s not difficult to deduce your emotions.” 

“… huh. Y’know, no one has ever told me that. I think I just figured out how my friend always wins when we play poker.” Wei Ying made a mental note to punch Wen Ning in the arm next time he sees him. Their last game lost him three cans of Celsius and a box of expired puffy Cheetos. 

“My friend was the same way. It was always easy to tell his real smiles from his forced ones.” Lan Zhan looked away as soon as he was done speaking. It almost looked like he was surprised to have said anything. 

“You’re friend? Was that… was that the one you were visiting when we met?” Wei Ying couldn’t help but ask. 

“Mn. His name was Wei Ying.” 

Something strange happened in Wei Ying chest when he heard Lan Zhan say his name. They had been building this casual friendship for well over a few months, but it wasn’t until this moment, hearing his real name, that Wei Ying felt like Lan Zhan was truly back in his life. It felt real the way nothing really had since he died fourteen years ago. 

Wei Ying didn’t even feel the tears in his eyes until they spilled onto his cheeks in a flash flood. 

“Xuanyu? Are you— what wrong?” Lan Zhan’s voice was panicked. Wei Ying wished he could see his expression, but his vision was waterlogged. 

“I-I’m fine! I’m fine, Lan Zhan. D-don’t worry about me. Ah, I’m just being my weird self. I’m the town cryptid, didn’t you know? My goal is to end up on the town Wikipedia page and replace the section about ghosts.” 

The words spilled out of his mouth faster than the tears out of his eyes. Wei Ying used the tail end of his scarf to pat his cheeks dry. Next to him, Lan Zhan stood like deer in headlights. 

It was funny, how it only took a few conversations for Wei Ying to realize that this friendship couldn’t go on. It wasn’t about some cosmic rule or divine order. No, it was just too painful. The dead couldn’t interact with the living because it simply hurt too much. It hurt to know that as a grim reaper, even death wouldn’t bring them together again. 

Wen Ning’s advice was sweet, but Wei Ying couldn’t bring himself to follow it. 

“Um, sorry for freaking you out,” Wei Ying said in a shaky tone. “It’s been a rough day. I- uh, I should go. I think I need to just zone out and… and be alone.” 

“You did not freak me out. I’m sorry if I said something that upset you.” Lan Zhan’s voice was so gentle, so caring. Wei Ying wanted to close his eyes and listen to the man speak for the rest of his afterlife. 

“It wasn’t anything you did, Lan Zhan. It totally me and my… my shitty luck, I guess. I’ll see you around. Hopefully, it’ll be a better day.” Wei Ying smiled out of habit and said a quick goodbye. He didn’t stick around to hear if Lan Zhan said goodbye back.

One night, while Wei Ying was reading the ingredients of every chip bag at work, Lan Zhan visited again. His insomnia must have finally leveled out because it had been quite a while since their last late-night visit. Wei Ying had to consciously keep their conversations short and casual. He didn’t want their relationship to go beyond acquaintance. 

“Mo Xuanyu, good evening,” Lan Zhan said. The tips of his ears were pink from the cold. 

“Hey, Lan Zhan. Nice to see you,” Wei Ying replied. It still felt odd to control himself around Lan Zhan. He just wasn’t used to it. Wei Ying set down the chip bag in his hand and went behind the counter. Lan Zhan grabbed his usual M&M’s and added a bottled oolong tea to his typical late-night snacking. 

Wei Ying rung up the items in silence, only speaking when conveying the total. Lan Zhan paid in change, like usual. Unlike normal, he didn’t leave right away. 

“Do you… need something else?” Wei Ying asked, confused. Lan Zhan’s ears were still pink. 

“Were you reading the packaging of the chips?” The question was just about the last thing Wei Ying expected. 

“Uh, yeah?” 

“Why?” 

“Uh, well, I get bored sometimes this late at night. I thought about making a bingo card out of the ingredients, but they all have a lot more in common than I thought. Didn’t seem worth it.” 

“And then?” Lan Zhan spoke again. Wei Ying blinked, his confusion growing. 

“And then I just… kept reading? Just, figuring out what chemicals I recognized and thinking about how they worked together as like, preservatives or flavors. Colors and… and stuff. It’s as boring as it sounds, I promise.” 

Lan Zhan nodded, his hazel eyes attentive. 

“Can I ask a question?” Wei Ying asked. 

“Mn.” 

“Were you really interested in my reading chip labels?” 

“I… was trying to start a conversation,” Lan Zhan said bashfully. Bashfully. Wei Ying couldn’t remember even seeing his friend look so…

His laughter burst out of him. Like punch to the gut, Wei Ying couldn’t stop giggling at this ridiculous man in front of him. For his part, Lan Zhan looked half mortified and half confused. 

“It was perhaps not the best topic to pick…”

“No, no, no… Lan Zhan, it was perfect,” Wei Ying said between breaths. “Ah, you fuddy duddy, that was just so… so funny. You’re funny.” 

The air in the room seemed to shift. Wei Ying felt it tickle the hairs at his neck, his messy ponytail shifting. When he looked up at Lan Zhan, there was a strange look in his eyes. A punchout sort of grief with a whisper of something sweeter. A memory that brought pain and joy. 

Wei Ying realized what he’d done mere moments ago. He’d called Lan Zhan a ‘fuddy duddy’. It was something he’d done their entire lives. Poking Lan Zhan with the words, teasing him. It had become something fond over time. A term of endearment before Wei Ying even realized.

It was exactly like their conversation a few days ago. Lan Zhan saying his name, his real name, for the first time. Wei Ying just couldn’t seem to get himself together around Lan Zhan. He just kept stepping out of line. 

His laughter died out quickly after that. Wei Ying was trying so hard not to be a part of Lan Zhan’s life, just enjoying his presence from afar. It wasn’t fair to either of them to let this go any further. 

“Lan Zhan? I um—”

The convenience store door was automatic, but somehow, it slammed open at that very moment. 

“Don’t move!” a woman in a ski mask shouted. She was holding a gun. 

“Oh, for the love of—”

“I said don’t move!” she shrieked. Wei Ying rolled his eyes. 

“I didn’t move. I was speaking.” 

“Speaking counts!” 

There was car outside, parked horizontally across three spots. Another figure dressed in all black was peering out from the driver’s side window. 

“Mo Xuanyu…” Lan Zhan’s voice was low and calm. Steady as flowing river. Wei Ying glanced over and saw Lan Zhan’s hand on the counter. There was a slight tremor in his fingers. 

Wei Ying knew that no one would die tonight. There weren’t any names on his ledger. But Lan Zhan didn’t know that. Wei Ying bit his tongue and glared at the woman with the gun. 

The woman stepped forward, flicking the gun at Lan Zhan. 

“Back-up,” she grunted. Lan Zhan didn’t move. 

“I’ll give you everything in register,” he said quickly, stealing back the attention. “I’m going to open it now, so don’t shoot me.” 

The woman glared at Lan Zhan before turning her attention to Wei Ying. She watched his every move, the gun unsteadily shifting back and forth from him to Lan Zhan. It made Wei Ying’s blood boil. Just because he knew no one would die tonight, it didn’t mean that no one would get hurt. The risk was still high. 

Wei Ying dumped the entire cash draw into her bag, including all the rolled coins. It was at least two hundred dollars. 

“Give me the lottery tickets,” she grunted. 

Wei Ying grabbed a handful of scratch off lottery tickets. 

“You got a safe in the back?”

“Yeah, but I don’t have the key,” Wei Ying said honestly. The only one with the key was the owner. The woman was quiet for a moment too long. 

“I don’t believe you. Take me back there.” 

The gun was back on him and Wei Ying tried not to feel relieved. If he got shot, it would heal in less than a day. The pain was temporary. Going anywhere out of view of her partner was a stupid idea and Wei Ying wanted to take advantage of that. 

“Okay, but were just going to be staring at it when I can’t get it open—”

“I will give you my wallet and phone if you leave now,” Lan Zhan said quickly. Both Wei Ying and the robber turned to him, different flavors of shock on their faces. 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying hissed. 

“I can take your shit anytime I want. Or did you forget who here has a gun?” The woman turned her attention fully on Lan Zhan. The gun was steady now, the previous tremor from before completely gone. She was too confident and Wei Ying was freaking out. 

He needed to do something. To distract her, to get that stupid fucking gun away from Lan Zhan. Wei Ying’s eyes flitted around his space. The counter was messy, filled with ads and cheap little trinkets. There was no panic button behind the counter and Wei Ying couldn’t reach for the phone without being noticed. 

The only thing he could use was the open bag of money. 

The woman hadn’t zipped it closed yet. She was distracted by the idea of adding more to it and hadn’t bothered to close it. Wei Ying subtly pushed the bag closer to the edge of the counter. The weight of the rolled coins shifted and pulled the rest of the bag over the edge. It fell with a loud crash as loose coins spilled out and scattered. The woman swore as she instinctively looked down at the mess. Wei Ying lunged across the counter. 

He grabbed for the gun, twisting the woman’s wrist until he felt something pop. She yelped, dropping the weapon. Lan Zhan kicked the gun towards the maze of shelves and joined Wei Ying in subduing the would-be thief. Outside, her partner sped away. 

Lan Zhan was on the phone with the police in seconds. He quickly gave the address of the store while Wei Ying sat on the woman’s legs and held her wrists together at the small of her back. She gave up fighting by the time police lights lit up the entire store. 

Wei Ying stood back and watched as the robber was handcuffed. Her ski mask was taken, and he was a little sad to see that she looked so young. He sincerely hoped since no one was hurt that she wouldn’t get into too much trouble. It wasn’t a realistic thought, but once he couldn’t help. 

“Mo Xuanyu,” A sweet voice called out to him. 

“Office Liu!” Wei Ying preened. “So, this is where you’ve been. And here I thought you were avoiding me.” 

A beautiful officer with striking eyes smiled at him. 

“We needed volunteers for the night patrol. I decided to switch so that I didn’t have to work with my brother so often. He gets… a little overprotective.” 

“Really? Huh, never would have guessed. Hey, mind telling him that I was a victim this time? Maybe he’ll finally get off my back.” 

“Speaking of victim, can I take your statement?” she asked. 

“Of course!” 

Wei Ying recounted the details of the attempted burglary, letting Office Liu know that there were security cameras. He gave the officer his boss’s contact information and declined a visit to the therapist (again). 

The store was surrounded by cops’ cars by the time his boss arrived. Wei Ying was given the next few days off and a packet of double stuffed Oreo’s for the trouble.

“For your birds,” his boss had said. “Can’t believe you got mixed up in all this. Rest for the next few days, kid. I’m going to keep the store closed and see about getting that fancy alarm stuff.” 

The older man pat Wei Ying on the shoulder and shuffled off with Office Liu. 

“You have birds?” Lan Zhan asked. Wei Ying hadn’t forgotten that the man lingered by his side for most of the night. 

“No, but I do have a murder of crows in my backyard. They bring me shiny things.” 

Lan Zhan was quiet again, his lips pressed into a thin line. 

“So, I guess I’ll see you later? Sorry about all the drama. You didn’t even get your snack.” Wei Ying said. 

“I don’t care about the M&M’s. And you have nothing to apologize for.” 

“Still, I feel like my terrible luck is rubbing off on you. You should stay away Lan Zhan or who knows what will happen next.” 

It wasn’t the right thing to say. Wei Ying could tell within a second of the words leaving his lips. Lan Zhan’s shoulders seem to fold in on themselves, his entire body melting like he’d been holding it together with nothing but sheer will alone. Lan Zhan turned to Wei Ying, his hazel eyes undeniably sad. 

“Lan Zhan…?”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Lan Zhan said quietly. “Agreeing to be alone with her, and then attacking her when she looked away, it was dangerous. You could have been shot.” 

“So could you,” Wei Ying said almost instantly. He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “Look, it was a bad situation all around. Maybe it was stupid, but I knew what the risks were. I decided to take them. Nothing more to it.” 

“You are my friend. I was scared you were going to get hurt.” 

“I’m your… friend?” 

“I consider you one, yes.” Lan Zhan blinked, uncertainty plain on his face. “Do you not wish to be my friend?” 

Wei Ying wanted nothing more in that moment then to be Lan Zhan’s friend again. His best friend, his confidant, his… his soulmate. Was that okay? It was impossible to say. 

His hesitation seemed to be answer for Lan Zhan, one he didn’t want to hear. Wei Ying felt his heart ache. 

“I’m not good company, Lan Zhan,” he said. “They’re things about me that I don’t think you’d like very much. Couple that with the fact that the local detective thinks I’m a criminal, I promise you that hanging out with me will only bring you more problems. It… it's a fucking guarantee.” 

Wei Ying didn’t want to look at Lan Zhan’s reaction. It was bad enough seeing his concern and exhaustion. Wen Ning was able to stay by his sisters side because he made distance between them. He wasn’t up close and conversing with her every other week. 

With the packet of Oreo’s tucked under his arm, Wei Ying smiled and quickly said goodbye. Maybe this time it would stick. 

The three days off of work were agony. His other job was a complete bust, only five hours a week, so Wei Ying finally quit. Most of the reaps were happening in the hospital so Wen Ning handled everything on his own. Wei Ying was bored out of his mind and was contemplating getting a TV. Nothing fancy, just something with either a DVD or VHS player built into it. He just needs something to past the time. 

There was an emptiness in his gut that Wei Ying didn’t know how to fill. It wasn’t hunger or thirst. It wasn’t something that could ever be filled again. The feeling inside of him was loss. A grief that he’d been cursed with since his own life ended. 

With nothing better to do, Wei Ying went to the cemetery. 

The first ten minutes were spent tracking down the wannabe influencer and standing in the background of her video. Once he’d had enough, he chased her off by threatening to report her to the police again. She at least had the good sense to leave when he called her out. 

There were pink soap suds on the grass around the grave. The whole place smelled like cotton candy. Wei Ying ran his hand along the weathered stone and sighed. 

“Sorry. I should have chased her off right when I saw her here. I was being kind of petty and wanted to ruin her footage.” 

Wei Ying walked to the lone building in the area. Around the back, there was groundskeeper shed with a water spigot. He filled a bucket of water and washed away the rest of pink soap on the headstone. 

With the task completed, Wei Ying went to his own grave. There were fresh flowers once again. 

“Ah, Lan Zhan… you really are too good.” 

Wei Ying sat in his usual spot, leaning up against the side of his headstone. He placed a hand on the grass in front of it, twisting some of the longer blades of grass between his fingers. That hollow feeling in his stomach didn’t go away.  

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying held onto the last vowel of his friend’s name, stretching into a singsong cadence. Across the table from him, Lan Zhan’s hazel eyes flicked up. 

“Wei Ying. We’re meant to be studying.” 

“But I’m bored. If I read another page, all the words are going to fill up my brain and start spilling out my ears. Then where would we be?” 

Lan Zhan sighed and simply turned back to his own work. His hair was braided today, thick and tidy resting along his back. Wei Ying made sure to sit behind Lan Zhan in their math class so that he could play with the long strands. No tugging or pulling, just playing. Feeling the softness against his fingertips. 

At first, he would look for split ends. He’d only found one all year. 

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying leaned forward, his head in his hands. 

“Mn?” 

“Wanna go to the movies later? I found a coupon for free popcorn in the drama room.” 

“Only if you study for the next half hour.” 

“Lan Zhan… so mean!”

“Forty-five minutes.” 

“H-hey!”

“Fifty—”

“Okay! Okay, I get it. I’ll study. Forty-five minutes. Lets go!” 

Wei Ying sat back and pulled his textbook closer. World history wasn’t his worse class, but the dates often blurred together. 

Thirty minutes later, Lan Zhan shut his notebook. Wei Ying smiled. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Wei Ying jumped, startled out of his doze. The hard edge of his tombstone dug into his shoulder. 

“W-what…” Wei Ying looked around when suddenly, a pale grey coat caught his eye. “Lan Zhan?

“What are you doing here?” Lan Zhan’s voice was unlike anything Wei Ying ever heard before. Even all the times he was scolded when they were young, Lan Zhan never sounded like this. He was… ferocious. 

“Oh shit… uh, I’m sorry I—”

“Get up.” 

“Huh?” 

“Get. Up.” 

Wei Ying scrambled to his feet, kicking up loose grass. Lan Zhan inhaled sharply. 

“Sorry! S-sorry…” Wei Ying didn’t know what else to say. The look in Lan Zhan’s eye… it was terrifying. So furious. Wei Ying felt like something had shifted in the universe. Like he woke up in an alternate dimension where hate was more common then kindness. 

“Stop,” Lan Zhan hissed. “Your tearing up the grass.” 

Wei Ying steadied himself on his headstone, like he had a million times before. Mere seconds later, he was pushed back with a harsh shove. 

“Don’t touch it!” Lan Zhan yelled. “You… have you no respect? Why are you sleeping on my friend’s headstone?!” 

The shock tearing through Wei Ying’s system made him want to blurt out something stupid. Like to point out the fact that he could do whatever he wanted to the damn thing because it had his name on it. But Wei Ying couldn’t seem to open his mouth. He felt frozen on the spot, the pit in his stomach wider then ever. 

Lan Zhan had pushed him, hard. It wasn’t like when they were kids, rough housing on the playground. No, this was something meant to hurt. An act made out of anger. Wei Ying’s trembling hand clutched at his chest. 

It was morning when Wei Ying arrived at the cemetery. Now, it was well into the afternoon. Had he really been so foolish? Sleeping all-day right on top of his grave? 

Stupid, Wei Ying. So stupid.

Lan Zhan was still glaring at him, probably expecting an answer of some kind. Wei Ying didn’t have an answer, not one that would have made sense anyway. He was just homesick. Life sick? Missing something that he could never get back. 

“I’m sorry.” It was all that he could say. Nothing else had even the slightest chance of getting rid of the anger on Lan Zhan’s face. 

The man in question hadn’t stop glaring. His chest was practically heaving, his hands in fists at his side. Lan Zhan looked completely different from the boy Wei Ying had once known. A fully grown man that he simply did not know anymore. After weeks and weeks of fooling himself, Wei Ying finally saw the truth. He didn’t fit by Lan Zhan’s side anymore. Not even as a friend. 

“Leave.” Lan Zhan’s voice had gone flat. He only did that when he was trying to hide his true feelings. Wei Ying felt his eyes burn. He nodded; one hand still pressed against his chest. 

“I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. I… sorry.” 

Without another word, Wei Ying turned and left. He walked quickly, faster and faster until he was sprinting out of the cemetery. Out onto the streets and passed the bus stop, Wei Ying ran through the streets of Yilling like the devil was on his tail. It wasn’t until he saw his house, a little white building with an overgrown yard, that he slowed down. His chest burned for air, but it felt good in a way. It made him feel alive. 

Wei Ying didn’t see Lan Zhan for the next three months. It was an effort on both their parts, at least that’s what Wei Ying assumed. He never tried to run into Lan Zhan all the other times they met, but now Wei Ying was vigilant whenever he left his house. Always looking for a pale gray coat, hazel eyes and a sharp jawline. Wei Ying was more diligent in avoiding Lan Zhan than any other thing in his afterlife. 

Besides reaping, of course. Wei Ying always treated the dead he met with the upmost respect and care. Well, most of them. Murderers usually didn’t get Wei Ying’s hospitality. 

Yilling felt a little smaller without Lan Zhan. It was a wild thought, especially since the man had just moved there, but something had changed when the man arrived. A cool breeze on a scorching day. 

Wei Ying hugged his guitar to his chest. He’d gotten distracted while tuning it. 

There was a flu outbreak in senior wing of the hospital. It wasn’t technically a nursing home, but it felt like it. Many of the patients there spent months at a time in those rooms. Their families would bring decorations from home. Plastic plants, lamps and pictures. Wei Ying remembered one woman who taped dozens of pictures of roses on the wall. A paper garden since she couldn’t get home to her real one. She left the hospital in a custom wheelchair, but Wei Ying still sees her in the park sometimes. 

The flu tore through the sick and elderly. Wen Ning hardly had a moment for his other patients in all the chaos. Wei Ying grabbed his guitar and convinced the head nurse that he was volunteering for the next few weeks. It didn’t take much convincing to be honest. Everyone was too tired to check. 

Wei Ying played guitar and sang to patients. Usually, kids or those that were there long term. He’d go around and offer a song or a conversation, staying out of the doctor’s way. Every once in a while, he’d check the sticky notes in his pocket for a specific name. There was at least one every day. 

His reap done for the day, Wei Ying rested his cheek on the body of the guitar. The Man in White, whoever he was, seemed to have a lot of hobbies in his time. There was so much random stuff in his house that for a while, Wei Ying had no idea what to do with it all. The guitar was a nice find. A little scuffed, but that didn’t change the sound. 

Lan Zhan played piano. He took private lessons all throughout school. Wei Ying remembered the first time he saw the mini grand piano at the Lan house when he was a teen. He remembered sitting at Lan Zhan’s side and watching his fingers dance along the keys. Wei Ying didn’t know if Lan Zhan continued playing. It was part of the reason they drifted apart all those years ago. Lan Zhan had the opportunity to study music in New York. He would have been a fool not to take it. Wei Ying told him that to his face when he first heard the news. 

The hospital cafeteria was nearly empty this late in the evening. Wei Ying stared at his puddling cup, fingers idling picking the strings. He kept going back and replaying the same few chords. There was a melody in the back of his mind that he couldn’t quiet figure out. Something he first heard sitting side by side with someone else on a piano bench. 

“If you’re not going to finish the pudding, can you at least throw it away? I’m incorporeal and can’t eat. Staring at it is torture.” The soul sitting across from Wei Ying reminded him of a snake. Or a particularly deadly flower. 

“It’s mostly gone,” Wei Ying reasoned. 

“As am I.” 

“Okay, that was kind of funny.” 

“Apparently I died just for your entertainment,” The man sighed. He was wearing a hospital gown, a green robe hanging off his shoulders. There were dark circles under his sharp eyes, his hair was cropped short and there was a shaved patch on the right side. He was wheeled into surgery three hours ago. He didn’t make it out. 

“Since I have nothing better to do at the moment, why are you moping?” The man crossed his arms. His fingers were long and bony. 

“I’m in a hospital filled with death.” Wei Ying shrugged. “Kind of hard to feel anything but sad here.” 

“Bullshit. Bad things happen everywhere, as do good things. You’re avoiding something.” 

“…no I’m not.” 

The man smirked. “You remind me of my students. Little beasts. They also never look me in eye when they lied.” 

Wei Ying gripped the neck of the guitar, cutting off the sound. There was too much on his mind and he didn’t want to even attempt to understand it all. It was just too painful. 

“Do you want advice from a dead man?” 

“I think you’re going to give it to me even if I say no,” Wei Ying sighed. 

“Correct. Maybe you do have some semblance of a brain.” 

“I’m having a hard time picturing you as a teacher.” 

The man seemed to chuckle to himself. His sharp gaze softened at the edges as he rubbed a hand up and down his arm. 

“In truth, I wasn’t a good one. I didn’t really try to be. Children aggravate me to no end. Most are spoiled and coddled. They cry themselves sick before even considering solving their problems on their own.” 

“They’re kids.” Wei Ying frowned. This man was very strange.

“Kids who will grow into teenagers, and then adults. If they don’t learn the barest forms of self-sufficiency, then what will happen to them when they are left on their own? No parents, no siblings, no one to reach out to for help? We all end up alone at some point in our lives. We must know how to survive it or else we’ll die in that same loneliness.” 

Wei Ying swallowed, his tongue heavy in his mouth. The word ‘alone’ has been hovering around his head for days. He had a friend in Wen Ning, and he was amazing, but he had only been around for three years or so. What if Wen Ning gets reassigned again? What if Wei Ying is reassigned? They could lose each other just as randomly as they met. 

“We’re you alone?” Wei Ying felt rude for asking, but something about this man chipped away at his manners. Maybe it was his eyes, dark and piercing. Maybe it was his subtle elegance. The poise in his posture and movements. Even with the echoes of sickness, he was effortlessly stunning. Like a figure in a priceless painting. 

The man stared at Wei Ying. He didn’t seem mad. Just, contemplating. His thin pale lips opened twice before he spoke. 

“For most of my life,” he said simply. “I suppose, I am alone in death as well.” 

“I’m here,” Wei Ying argued softly. 

“From what I can tell, you’re here due to obligation, not choice. Don’t argue. I’m very aware of the signs.”

Wei Ying didn’t know what to say. 

The cafeteria doors swung open. A tall man in a rumpled suit jacket shuffled in. Wei Ying glanced over, following the sound, before turning back to ask the soul another question. He jumped when he realized the man was gone. 

The dead man was striding over to the newcomer. The man in the jacket looked empty. Scrapped out of all feelings and moving on pure instinct. He stumbled over to the coffee station and reached for a paper cup. They all tumbled to the ground. 

Wei Ying watched as the soul he just reaped bent down to try and pick up the cups. He growled when his hand passed right through. 

“You,” he turned to Wei Ying, eyes blazing. “Help him.” 

Wei Ying didn’t hesitate. He set his guitar on the table and hurried over. 

“Here, let me help.” He hurried over and began picking up the scattered cups. The man in the suit seemed to finally realize what had happened. 

“Oh… oh, sorry I’m just…” 

“It’s okay. I’ve got it.” Thankfully none of the cups rolled too far. Wei Ying held them as he stood, wondering if he had to throw them away now that they had been on the floor. He looked around for a recycling bin. 

“My friend died,” the stranger said suddenly. His eyes seemed distant once more. “I… I didn’t even know he was going to have the surgery. He died… Xiao Jiu…” 

“Don’t call me that,” the soul snapped. Wei Ying looked at the dead man from the corner of his eye. Contrary to his tone, there was no anger in his face. If Wei Ying had to guess, he looked more shocked then anything. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Wei Ying said. After over a decade of being a grim reaper, he still hadn’t come up with anything better to say. The man in front of him began to breath rapidly. 

“I-I have to… I don’t know, but I feel like I have to do something. Tell someone. T-tell everyone that he’s… but who would care? I… I can’t be the only one who cares.” 

“Of course you are,” the soul, Xiao Jiu, scoffs. “You’re the only one I could never chase away.” 

Wei Ying felt like a third wheel to this conversation. Which was funny since only two of the people present could actually hear and see one another. He tucked the paper cups under his arm, determined to recycle them when he could. 

“The school… yes, I need to tell the board. Xiao Jiu won’t be coming back because… b-because…” 

The stranger, abandoning his coffee goal, turned without saying anything to Wei Ying. He moved like a specter, drifting from side to side, almost floating. Xiao Jiu followed until they made it to the cafeteria door. He watched as the broad stranger pushed open the door, his once narrow eyes wide. 

“You can follow him, for a bit,” Wei Ying said to the soul. The cafeteria door clicked shut. 

“No, I don’t think I can,” Xiao Jiu said quietly.

“Why not?”

“Because then it would just be like before. He left, and I tried to follow. When I couldn’t, I waited. I waited for what felt like my entire damned life.” Xiao Jiu stepped back, his fists clenched at his side. “No… it’s my turn to run ahead, to discover something new. Something better. I won’t cling to what we were anymore. Not when it was so brittle to begin with.” 

Xiao Jiu turned and if it weren’t for his hospital gown and robe, Wei Ying would have sworn he was looking at royalty. 

“I’m ready.” 

Wei Ying nodded. “I guess you are.” 

The pair walked to cafeteria patio. The cool night air made Wei Ying shiver. There was a soft green glow in the flower garden which then grew into a forest of bamboo. Xiao Jiu tried to hide his gasp, but it was clear he was excited. He stepped forward, his dark eyes radiant. At the last second, he turned back. 

“Don’t be like me,” he said in a clear tone. “I forced myself to be alone. It felt like something I deserved. But I’m a stubborn villain who didn’t want to get better. I can tell that you and I are nothing alike. So don’t be like me. Don’t settle for being alone.” 

The breeze turned warm and sweet as Xiao Jiu stepped onto the shimmering grass. His hospital clothes were transformed into rich flowing fabrics that seemed to match the surrounding bamboo. Wei Ying didn’t get to see anything else as the vision faded away with the wind. 

It was easy advice to take, if he were alive. Wei Ying couldn’t stop thinking about the man in the hospital. 

Don’t settle for being alone.

Wei Ying didn’t choose this path in his afterlife. It wasn’t like he could change the rules. Still, the words wouldn’t leave. 

“Ugh,” he sighed. Wei Ying wanted to do something, but there was nothing to do. His shift didn’t start until five and going anywhere else meant running the risk of seeing Lan Zhan. 

Lan Zhan, and his angry face and harsh voice. Wei Ying had thought Lan Zhan hated him once. When they transitioned from kids to teens. It felt like he was nothing more then an annoyance to Lan Zhan for a solid year. A gnat buzzing around his head. 

Looking back, that wasn’t hate at all. It was growing up and testing boundaries, learning who they were as their world grew around them. 

In the cemetery, Wei Ying finally knew what it was like to be hated by Lan Zhan. It made him want to hold his breath and test to see what would happen with his reaper body. Would he pass out? Theoretically, he couldn’t die by suffocation. He was already dead. What if he sunk to the bottom of a pool? Would he just drown, wake up after a few minutes and then drown again? 

Wei Ying wanted to go to his grave. He couldn’t go to his own damn grave because Lan Zhan went to his grave and was territorial. What a weird set of circumstances. 

Five o’clock was finally ticking closer. Wei Ying grabbed his coat and scarf and began walking to work. It was close enough that he didn’t need to catch the bus. 

Halfway there, a silver car appeared at his side. Wei Ying jumped. 

“Holy shit.”  The car made almost no sound besides the tires rolling over the asphalt. Stupid electric cars. Wei Ying took a moment to calm his racing heart. The car slowed to a stop, the passenger side window rolling down. 

“Would you like a ride?” a familiar voice called out. Wei Ying felt frozen on the sidewalk. 

“No, I’m fine,” he said back. The cold night air turned his words into fog. Winter liked to linger in Yilling, giving spring almost no time to really flourish. 

“I insist,” Lan Zhan said.  There was a little beeping noise as the car was shifted into park. Lan Zhan opened his door and stood.

The two of them stared at one another from across the car roof. Wei Ying wanted to look away, to keep walking and forget this moment ever happened. From the look on his face, Lan Zhan wanted the exact opposite. Wei Ying wondered if after all this time, he lost the ability to read Lan Zhan. He didn’t think so at first, but well. Recent events made him think otherwise. 

“Mo Xuanyu, I insist.” 

Wei Ying’s resolve cracked. He really was weak to those hazel eyes. 

“Okay.” 

In the past fourteen years, Wei Ying didn’t get into too many cars. He died after colliding headfirst with one, so it kind of makes him weary of them in any capacity. The bus was different enough that he could sort of trick his brain into thinking it was okay. As he slid into the front seat of Lan Zhan’s very fancy electric car Wei Ying felt his heart pound. 

“Are you going to work?” Lan Zhan asked. 

“Y-yeah. Thanks.” Wei Ying itched to roll down the window. With the doors closed, he felt like he was trapped in a metal tin. Lan Zhan shifted gears with a fancy dial and began to drive. The electric engine sounded like a spaceship. 

The silence between them was crushing. It was a potent mix of tension and awkwardness, sprinkled with Wei Ying’s own anxiety about being inside a motor vehicle. There was a buzzing in his ears that sounded like screeching tires. 

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior in the cemetery,” Lan Zhan said quietly. It took a moment for the words to sink in. 

“You don’t have to,” Wei Yin said just as softly. It felt like if he spoke too loudly, he’d distract Lan Zhan from driving. A split second, and they’d be wrapped around a telephone pole or ass up in a ditch.  

“I must insist in this manner as well, Xuanyu.” Lan Zhan was frowning. He still looked so handsome when he frowned. “You… you knew Wei Ying, didn’t you?” 

Hearing his name sent the same feeling rocketing down his spine. Wei Ying turned to look out the window, biting the inside of his cheek. 

“I don’t really want to talk about this, Lan Zhan.” More like he couldn’t. It was too painful. Too strange. “You can drop me off at the stop sign up here. I can walk from here.” 

“Mo Xuanyu, please. I just want—”

Wei Ying unbuckled his seatbelt as the car slowed to a stop. He yanked open the door and stumbled out. 

“Mo Xuanyu!” Lan Zhan called after him. 

“Thanks for the ride, Lan Zhan. I’ll see you around.” 

Wei Ying felt like running. He could, but it felt a little bit dramatic since the store was just across the street. 

Lan Zhan’s car followed him to the parking lot. 

“Mo Xuanyu,” Lan Zhan turned off his fancy car and hurried after Wei Ying. The convenience store lights looked like a haven. 

“I have to get to work, Lan Zhan,” said Wei Ying. 

“I will not take up too much of your time.” 

It was impossible to say no to him. All Lan Zhan had to do was look at someone with those pretty hazel eyes and he could bewitch anyone. Wei Ying would know. He was the first one to be enchanted. 

“I don’t want to talk about Wei Ying,” Wei Ying said. “Sorry if I upset you that day. I kind of had the place to myself for the past fourteen years.” 

Lan Zhan nodded, swallowing deeply. Wei Ying had never seen anyone put on such a show from just swallowing. The long line of Lan Zhan’s neck was smooth and pale. His Adam's apple bobbed in a hypnotizing display. Wei Ying couldn’t figure out why it was so distracting. 

“I shouldn’t have shoved you. I shouldn’t have yelled.” 

Wei Ying blinked, shaking off his distraction. “You found the town weird guy napping on your friend’s tombstone. You had good reasons.” 

“Our friend. You knew him too.” 

“Better than anyone,” Wei Ying joked. He laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. The surrealness of talking about his dead self with his best friend. It was rather silly. 

“Oh.” 

Wei Ying looked up to see a unique look on Lan Zhan’s face. It wasn’t anger this time. There was a look of confused understanding, coupled with a brow furrow that might have been sorrow, but Wei Ying wasn’t sure. What was there to be sad about? 

Well, everything, I guess. Wei Ying mused.

“Um, I have to go now. Do you… do you want pretzel M&M’s? I’ll buy.” 

Lan Zhan hesitated before speaking. He looked Wei Ying up and down. Just a quick flash of hazel before settling on his face again. Mo Xuanyu’s face. Lan Zhan would never look at Wei Ying again. 

“Okay.” 

“We’re going to have some help coming in next week, a-Ning.” Wei Ying was staring at his notebook, jotting down names. The pancakes on his plate were half eaten. 

Wen Ning slowly sat down in the booth. He had barely arrived and already Wei Ying was talking about work. 

“What’s happening?” he asked. 

“Fire in the hills. Probably a barbeque gone wrong.” 

“Or a gender reveal.” 

“A what?” 

“I forget that you’re not online.” Wen Ning went on to explain the second strangest social media trend Wei Ying had ever heard. The first was kids eating laundry detergent pods. Maybe that Xiao Jiu guy had a point about some children needing a reality check. 

“You stay at the hospital, one of the other guys is an EMT so he’ll pop in and out to help you.” Wei Ying was making two stacks of sticky notes. One for the scene and one for the hospital. “Me and the other guy will be in the middle of it, trying to nab souls before things get too crazy. Do you have a sleeping bag? We’re going to pretend to be camping and stay overnight to make things easier.” 

“No.” 

“Dang, well, guess we’ll just make a blanket pile and cuddle.” 

The two stacks of sticky notes were ordered by estimated time of death. In total, there were fourteen lives that were going to end. Five in the forest, nine in the hospital. Wei Ying really hoped that the cause of this fire would be a lightning strike or something, not human stupidity. 

Five days later, two new reapers sat opposite of Wei Ying and Wen Ning at the diner. 

“I’m Nan Feng.” 

“Fu Yao.” 

The pair sat as far away from each other as they could on the bench seat of the booth. Wei Ying smiled. 

“This is Wen Ning, and I’m Wei Ying. Thanks for coming over to help with this one.” 

“Anything to get away for a while,” Fu Yao said. “So, I guess we're camping tonight?” 

“Yep! Fair warning, I’ve never put up a tent before.” 

“It’s fine. I can do it.” 

“Also, I only have one sleeping bag.” 

“I came prepared.” 

“Wow. So efficient.” 

Wen Ning turned to the other man. “I’m a nurse at Yilling Central. I managed to get on ED rotation for tomorrow, so there shouldn’t be any problems.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll keep an eye out for the right names and let you know when they get brought in.” 

Wei Ying pulled out his notebook. He divided the sticky notes between the four of them. 

“Looks like one guy is going to go enroute to the hospital. Do you want us to grab him?” he asked Nan Feng. 

“If you can. Might be easier for you two.” 

Wei Ying nodded. 

“Okay, I think that’s all we need. It’s only about a forty-minute drive out there, so we don’t have to leave for a while. Also, I should warn you, Fu Yao, I’m a vehicular manslaughter guy and I will probably freak out on the drive.” 

“Great,” the man sighed. 

“Don’t worry. I’ve got a cabinet full of stale chips for you to make up for it.” 

Somehow, Fu Yao frowned harder. 

“So… breakfast?” 

Fu Yao was efficient in setting up the tent (a relic from ages past that Wei Ying found in his house) as well as cooking them dinner. He’d packed a cooler with all the ingredients to make burgers over a simple camping stove. There were even two cans of beer tucked in the bottom. 

Wei Ying felt a little silly only contributing chips and a bag of grapes, but Fu Yao didn’t complain. He munched on the fruit while cooking the meat. 

“So, you got hit by a car. That sucks.” Fu Yao sipped his beer. 

“Yeah. Pushed a little boy out of the way of a drunk driver.”

The man paused and seemed to look at Wei Ying in a different light. “That’s pretty heroic.” 

“I guess. It’s funny. I wish I wasn’t dead every day, but at the same time, I’m glad I was there to help.” 

“Yeah…” 

“How did you die? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

“Burglary gone wrong,” Fu Yao said. “I’m still angry about it.” 

Wei Ying could only imagine. 

The food was perfect for the setting. The burgers were well seasoned and juicy. Wei Ying piled his with all the fixings, including potato chips for an extra salty crunch. Fu Yao’s eyes were full of judgement. 

The woods were filled with quiet chirping and rustling. Forests were hardly ever quiet. 

Fu Yao didn’t speak much after dinner. He cleaned everything up, packed away what he didn’t need in his car, and got ready to sleep. Wei Ying didn’t feel like talking much either. It was hard to hold a conversation when fourteen people were going to die the next day. 

Sleep was hard to catch, especially back-to-back with a stranger. Wei Ying wondered if Lan Zhan’s insomnia was better. Or if he was going to a different convenience store for his midnight munchies. 

Wei Ying wondered if it was a good idea to let Lan Zhan believe that Mo Xuanyu had been friends with ‘Wei Ying’. What if he wanted to talk about it? About his death and the relationship they once had? Wei Ying wasn’t sure he could handle that. 

Morning came too soon and Wei Ying stumbled out of the tent, following the scent of bacon. 

As the morning slowly approached the afternoon, Wei Ying and Fu Yao packed up their things and prepared to hike. Well, they at least made it look like they were there for hiking. Both of them had sticky notes in their pockets and names in their minds. 

With a nod, they set off down the winding paths. 

Wei Ying was extremely disappointed to see a gender reveal up close. 

Several booming fireworks went off, exploding in puffs of blue smoke. It was thick enough to hide the sparks that scattered across dry grass and a nearby trash can. Spring hadn’t really reavitalized the land and instead winter seemed to bleed right into the pre-heat of summer. There was very little healthy green foliage around and too many brittle and dry spots. It was almost the perfect conditions for a forest fire.

A second round of fireworks made a pink cloud. 

“Twins?” Fu Yao guessed. “Couldn’t they have just made a cake?” 

Wei Ying pointed to the videographer and photographer focused on the expecting couple. “Not if they want to go viral.” 

“I hate the internet. I miss the eighties sometimes.” 

The flaming trashcan fell and rolled to picnic tables. The cheap plastic tablecloths caught quickly. 

“We’ve still got people to find.” Fu Yao turned down the walking path. Wei Ying followed. 

They made it five minutes down the path before the first scream rang out. 

Finding the people they needed to reap wasn’t the hard part. No, as it turned out being in a forest fire was the most difficult part of the day. 

Wei Ying pulled his shirt over his mouth. The smoke was getting bad. 

“T-this way!” the soul of a young woman called out to him. “Theres a break in the flames over here!” 

The woman, a hiker that had been crushed by a falling tree, was the only soul that followed Wei Ying. The rest were with Fu Yao, probably far away from this mess. Unfortunately, the tree that killed her also separated him from his fellow reaper. 

Fu Yao tried to get to him, but just because reapers couldn’t die didn’t mean they couldn’t get hurt. Wei Ying told him to get out of there and worse comes to worse, he’d run out of the flames. What was a little third degree burn to an indestructible body? 

“Hurry!” the woman shouted again. Wei Ying ran towards her voice. 

The path wasn’t as safe as she might have realized. Her body was hazy; the fire was passing through her. She couldn’t feel the heat, nor could she realize how close she was to some of the worst of it. But she was trying to help, and Wei Ying was grateful. 

“Just around this… yes! A clearing!” 

Wei Ying sprinted the last few feet. He burst through the fire line, gasping and then immediately coughing. His chest was aching and his spit was flying out of his mouth. It was black and thick. 

“Your jacket is on fire!” the woman went to pat it out, but her hand passed right through him. Wei Ying dropped to the ground and started rolling until the flames went out.

“D-dammit… I liked this jacket…” Wei Ying flopped onto his back. He could feel burns on his hands and licking up his arms. There were chucks missing from his jeans. Black holes with bright red skin peeking through. Thankfully, his jacket was thick enough to keep his back from getting severely burned. It stung, but already his reaper healing was chasing the pain away.  

Wei Ying lifted his hand up to the sky. His fingers were red and blistered. 

“There’s another one over here!” A male voice called out. Wei Ying dropped his hand and tilted his head back. 

“Detective Liu! Fancy seeing you here.” Wei Ying coughed, rolling onto his stomach when he couldn’t catch his breath. “M-Must be bad if they got y-you out helping.” 

Wei Ying spit out more black saliva. 

Detective Liu was speaking into a radio. He knelt on the ground near Wei Ying and checked him over for injuries. 

In the corner of his eye, Wei Ying watched the soul of the woman he reaped look at the scene with relief. A sparkling blue light appeared behind her as a wall of water materialized in the haze. She smiled one last time at Wei Ying and dove into it. 

Wei Ying, with the help of Detective Liu, managed to hobble to safety. He played up his exhaustion, but honestly not by much. The smoke had done a number on his lungs; super reaper healing powers be damned. 

Fu Yao was in the evacuation zone. There were a few souls that still hadn’t moved on hovering around him. He nodded to Wei Ying and then went to sit in his car. How he managed to get it from their campsite was a mystery. 

“I’m fine, detective,” Wei Ying pat the man on the shoulder. “Just a little smoke inhalation.” 

“You need to go to the hospital and get checked out,” he said gruffly. Detective Liu began leading him over to a line of ambulances. 

“Really, I’m fine!” Just then, a hacking cough made his eyes water. 

“You are not fine, Mo Xuanyu. Smoke inhalation can be deadly.” 

Not to me, he wanted to say.

“You’re being nice to me,” Wei Ying teased. “Did your sister yell at you?” 

The flush on his cheeks was answer enough. 

Thankfully, Wei Ying spotted Nan Feng amongst the EMT’s. He ‘tripped’ and managed to redirect the detective. 

“Smoke inhalation, burns on his legs and hands,” Detective Liu passed the information on to Nan Feng with a brisk tone. “He needs to go to Yilling General.”

“We’ve got a bus with minor injuries heading out now. He can head out with them.”

Detective Liu nodded. Before he left, he turned to Wei Ying. “Stop showing up at crime scenes.” 

“I’m trying, I swear.” 

“Good. Get better.” 

Wei Ying gave the man a thumbs up. “Yes, sir.” 

Detective Liu nodded and headed back into the chaos. His radio was already up to his ear. Nan Feng led him to the back of an ambulance and grabbed an oxygen mask. 

“It’ll take longer for the cough to go away than the burns. This’ll help.”

Wei Ying pressed the mask against his mouth. The rush of clean air made him sputter. 

“We’ve got one more to go. You?” Nan Feng asked.

“All taken care of.”

“Good. See you at the hospital.”

Nan Feng helped Wei Ying settle in the back of the ambulance. There were two other people that looked like they were away from the center of the fire. No oxygen masks nor ash. One guy looked to have a broken arm. The other, a gash on his leg. They must have been running away from it all. 

Wei Ying closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He could already feel the burns on his body beginning to heal. 

The chaos of the fire was all anyone could talk about. It even made it to the national circuit. Wei Ying watched the reporter on the news recount all the details that had come to light. The couple that had set off the fireworks were being criminally charged. 

There was still an ache in his chest from all the smoke he inhaled. Every once in a while, he’d cough up grey saliva. If he were alive, this probably would have impacted the rest of his life. As a reaper, it just annoyed him more than anything. 

Wei Ying let Wen Ning wrap his hands whenever he had to work. It was pretty well known who was at the fire and who wasn’t. Detective Liu had seen his hands and while they were already beginning to heal, but they still looked burned. Better to be safe then have someone notice how rapidly they healed. 

The sliding doors of the convenience opened, letting in a warm breeze. Wei Ying slowly turned to face the front of the store, his eyes lingering on the TV. Suddenly, someone grasped his wrists. 

“Hey—oh! Lan Zhan, hi.” 

Lan Zhan wasn’t looking at Wei Ying. He was holding his wrists, staring at the white bandages with a frown. 

“You were at the fire,” he said plainly. “You were hurt.” 

“Only a little.” Wei Ying shrugged. “Some smoke inhalation and minor burns. Nothing too crazy.” 

“Why were you there?” 

“Camping with an old friend. He didn’t get a scratch, lucky bastard.” 

Lan Zhan was still holding his hands. “I overheard the librarian speaking about you at the grocery store this afternoon. I was worried. I didn’t have a way to contact you.” 

“Oh, I guess you don’t, huh? Sorry, I don’t have a cellphone.” 

Lan Zhan’s frown grew deeper. 

“Um, can I have my hands back now?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan held on for a moment longer before letting go. 

“Are you… your hands, will they be alright?” 

“Yeah, just need to keep them wrapped for a while. My friend is a nurse and we get breakfast like, every morning. He makes sure I’m not doing anything stupid. Don’t worry about me, Lan Zhan. I’m fine.” 

It felt like all Wei Ying did when he was speaking to Lan Zhan was telling him not to worry. 

I’m okay. 

It’s alright. 

Don’t worry.

What he was basically saying was ‘don’t think about me’. Don’t think about how my habits remind you of someone dead. About how naturally your name falls from my lips. Wei Ying is dead. Mo Xuanyu is someone new. 

Don’t think… don’t think…

“Have you eaten dinner?” Lan Zhan asked. Wei Ying blinked. 

“Does a taquito and a honey bun count?” 

“No.” The clear disappointment on Lan Zhan’s face made Wei Ying want to laugh. “There is a pizza restaurant that sells slices. I could… get you something? If you like.” 

Wei Ying’s eyes widened. 

“Y-eah. Yes, I’d like that. I haven’t tried that place yet. It only opened a couple weeks ago.” 

“Mn. What would you like?” 

Lan Zhan came back fifteen minutes later with two triangle shaped boxes and a large bowl of salad. He divided up the greens using the lid of the container as a second plate. He sat to the side of the counter on a stool Wei Ying insisted he take. 

The salad was pretty good, Caesar with crunchy croutons, and the pizza was even better.  Wei Ying got nearly every meat available and added two packets of chili flakes. Lan Zhan got pineapple and olives, the same thing he would get when they were kids. Some things never change. 

“I think Detective Liu is finally giving up on me,” Wei Ying said between bites. “He didn’t yell at me this time. Probably because I was coughing up ash.” 

Lan Zhan frowned. “Perhaps he’s simply been concerned about you. You truly have awful luck.” 

“Tell me about it.” Wei Ying grabbed another napkin. He was tempted to use his bandaged hand to wipe his face, but that would probably raise more suspicion. “Hey, thanks for dinner. And for hanging out with me. You didn’t have to.” 

“I wanted to.” 

“Maybe. I hope it isn’t out of guilt or something, though,” Wei Ying said quietly.

“Mo Xuanyu…” 

“This is the third time they’ve talked about the fire tonight. It’s like nothing else happened in the world.” The TV was showing pictures of the aftermath once again. The ruined park on the mountain, the fallen trees. Videos from the gender reveal gone wrong showed the extravagant fireworks. Warnings about forest fires were talked about ad nauseum. It was the same routine every time something tragic happened. Wei Ying had seen it dozens of times before. 

Lan Zhan quietly ate next to him, hazel eyes glancing Wei Ying’s way every once and a while. Wei Ying tried not to notice. 

Summer brought about a new wave of young people leaving Yilling for vacations abroad. Fewer returned each year, too enchanted by the world to come back.

Wei Ying continued his afterlife the same as always, but now he had Lan Zhan to fill some of those empty spaces. It was hard, but beautiful all the same. A lovely reminder of what he once had. 

It almost came as a shock when autumn grew colder. Wei Ying passed out candy on his birthday while wearing a cheap grim reaper costume. It came with a plastic scythe and everything. Wen Ning was too polite to roll his eyes, but Wei Ying got a kick out of it every time. 

A few days later and it was his death day. 

Wei Ying walked to the cemetery in the early hours of the morning. Before the sun had risen, he packed up his guitar and filled a water bottle with Emperors Smile. With Lan Zhan in town, there was a risk that they’d see each other at the cemetery. It would be fine; they seemed to be on steady ground now that Lan Zhan thought Mo Xuanyu was friends with Wei Ying. Still, that explosion of an encounter still haunted him. The day Lan Zhan had caught him asleep at his grave. Things never really went back to normal after that. 

Well, normal for them at least. A living person and a grim reaper. 

It took nearly two hours for Wei Ying to walk to the cemetery. The sandwich and chips in his bag were going to be a tasty reward for his effort. There was a rosy glow in the sky as the iron gates finally came into view. He double-checked the parking lot for any cars. 

Wei Ying followed the path to his grave. He only managed to find a few good flowers on his walk. Little blooms that only sprouted in cool weather. Wei Ying divided them equally amongst his family’s graves. 

Like many years before, Wei Ying split the Emperor’s Smile between himself and the ground. It was easy to imagine the liquor carving a path through the dirt and seeping into his coffin. 

Did the drink speed up his decomposition or slow it down? Was there still flesh or was bone beginning to peak out? How morbid would it be to put your own skull over your fireplace? 

Wei Ying sat down next to his headstone. He pulled out his breakfast and started eating. 

The sun rose in a slow crawl. Pink and oranges lightened to blue. Wei Ying shuffled around until he was facing the sunrise, leaning against the back of his headstone. It was a lovely view, a nice place to spend forever. Wei Ying set his guitar in his lap and began to play. 

The cords still didn’t feel quite right. It felt like the song was at the tip of his fingers, waiting to be played. Wei Ying closed his eyes and concentrated. Slowly, a melody buried deep in his mind finally emerged. 

It wasn’t perfect. Wei Ying had to constantly go back a few notes to try new cord combinations. When he got frustrated, he simply plucked out the melody in single notes. At least that was right. 

The winter sun was in full view. It was brilliant, warm, and made something in Wei Ying’s chest settle. 

Suddenly, there was a strange sound behind him. 

Wei Ying sat up and turned. Several feet away, Lan Zhan was standing in front of the graves. There was a bouquet of flowers on the ground at his feet. 

“Ah, sorry Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying stood, dusting the grass off his jeans. “I bet you wanted some alone time, huh? I’ll get out of your hair. I’ve been here all morning so, no need to worry.” 

“No,” Lan Zhan’s voice was quieter than normal. Fragile almost. Wei Ying frowned. 

“Really, it’s fine! I got here so early the sun wasn’t even up. Stay, Lan Zhan. I’ll leave.” 

“No. No… he would have wanted you here. I shouldn’t impose.” 

Now Wei Ying was really confused. ‘Wanted him here…’ what did Lan Zhan mean? Why would he want a stranger like Mo Xuanyu?

Lan Zhan hastily picked up the bouquet he dropped and placed it on Wei Ying’s grave. He pulled two single flowers out of the bundle for Wei Ying’s parents, leaving the majority for the man himself. Wei Ying couldn’t help but smile. 

“Wei Ying must have loved you very much,” Lan Zhan murmured. 

At first, Wei Ying didn’t quite hear him. He was being so quiet and the wind had picked up a bit. When the words finally seemed to crack Wei Ying’s thick skull, he was momentarily distracted by the thought that yes, of course he loved himself very much. It might have taken a few years to get there, but he was pretty content. But Lan Zhan didn’t know that Wei Ying was Wei Ying. He thought that he was speaking to Mo Xuanyu. 

“Huh?” 

Lan Zhan tugged at the end of his scarf. Wei Ying never knew the man to fidget. 

“I… I wrote that song for us. When we were children. He must have loved you very much to share it.” 

Wei Ying felt his stomach roll. Seconds later, it was like a lightbulb shattered in his head. 

Oh. 

OH.

Lan Zhan thought that Wei Ying and Mo Xuanyu….

He thought they were together. Dating. In love. Whatever. Lan Zhan thought that Mo Xuanyu was the love Wei Ying left behind. That Mo Xuanyu was mourning him like a widow. 

Somewhere in the heavens or hells, fate was laughing at both of them. 

By the time Wei Ying had recovered from his epiphany, Lan Zhan was gone. A grey figure was speeding to the cemetery gates, to the parking lot. Lan Zhan was running away. Wei Ying couldn’t let him go like this. 

The guitar dropped to the ground with a twang. Wei Ying vaulted over his headstone and began running. 

“Lan Zhan! Wait!” he shouted. The man moved faster. 

Wei Ying watched in a panic as Lan Zhan got to his car. The door opened and closed in a flash, the electric engine barely humming as it turned on. Lan Zhan began backing up. 

Fear pounded in Wei Ying’s chest at the sight of the moving car. A car that he was sprinting towards with the same reckless abandon as the day he died. But he couldn’t let Lan Zhan go, not with such a massive misunderstanding between them. 

“I… I wrote that song for us. When we were children. He must have loved you very much to share it.”

Lan Zhan wrote it? Wei Ying couldn’t remember. He was begging his stupid mind to just remember. He can see Lan Zhan’s fingers, long and pretty, made for the piano. They danced a slow waltz along the keys. A melody like a memory. A feeling given form. Was it really for them? Lan Zhan and Wei Ying. Had they always been two halves of a whole?

Wei Ying cleared the iron gates and ran into the parking lot. Lan Zhan’s car shifted into gear and he began to pull away. He couldn’t leave, not now. 

Grim reaper rules be damned, Wei Ying wasn’t going to let anything else stand between them. Not even death. 

With panic thumping in his heart, Wei Ying leaped on the hood of Lan Zhan’s car. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck… this was a stupid fucking idea!

A horrible, crushing fear consumed Wei Ying. His hands scrambled across the smooth metal, desperate for something to hold on to. All he could hear was screeching tires. Smell rubber burning. He didn’t feel anything when he died, but he remembered the blood. He remembered seeing his shoe. 

“Mo Xuanyu!” a voice called out to him. No, that wasn’t him. He wasn’t Mo Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu was more of a ghost then Wei Ying ever was. 

“I-I can’t … L-Lan…” Wei Ying's entire body was shaking. His teeth chattering in his skull. It felt like his bones were trying to rattle free from his flesh. The car had stopped but he could barely feel it. 

“Xuanyu… you can let go. Slide down… the ground isn’t far.” 

Wei Ying’s eyes were closed. His mouth gaped as he tried to suck in as much air as possible. That little boy, he’d broken his arm. Wei Ying broke his entire body. Was it happening again? 

“Sit, please. I’ll turn off the engine—”

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying held Lan Zhan’s arm in a firm grip. It felt like he was passing his trembling energy to the other man. “Lan Zhan… I-I don’t like c-cars.” 

“Let me turn off the engine. Then we can sit somewhere else, away from the car.” 

“I d-don’t like cars… it hurts, w-when they hit-hit you, it hurts.” 

“Xuanyu…?” 

“I don’t remember the pain. But I remember w-what came after. Everything… everything ended. I ended. But t-then I stayed. I stayed and I’ve been so alone…” 

The words were spilling out of him. It was strangely grounding to ramble. It helped his mind focus as each word left his lips. He concentrated on them, listening to himself like an outside observer until he could feel his lips move once more. Until his tongue finally began to move under his own command. 

Wei Ying was on the ground leaning against Lan Zhan’s fancy electric car after throwing himself at it. How embarrassing. 

Lan Zhan probably thought he was having a mental breakdown. Maybe he was. Could grim reapers go insane? Really, they should make a handbook for this stupid job. 

“Mo Xuanyu? Are you alright?” Hazel eyes looked at him with cautious care. Wei Ying couldn’t hold back anymore.

“That’s not my name. Lan Zhan… I’m not Mo Xuanyu.” 

It felt too good to say. The truth, finally out in the air. Wei Ying didn’t even care if he was struck down at that moment. He was finally honest with Lan Zhan. The one person he’d always wanted by his side. The one he wanted to tell everything to. Even in his afterlife, Wei Ying wanted Lan Zhan. 

“I don’t know how to prove it to you,” Wei Ying kept speaking. He didn’t want to stop. “But I can’t let you go on thinking that Wei Ying… that I was in love with someone else. Because it’s you, Lan Zhan. It’s always been you.”

Wei Ying pushed himself off the ground. Lan Zhan stood as well, taking several steps back. His face was forcefully blank. 

“This feeling… I never knew what it was. I just knew that I wanted to be around you. I wanted your attention all the time. It didn’t matter how I got it. Teasing you, interrupting class. Heh, or that one time when we were chemistry partners and I lit a napkin on fire because you were ignoring me. I dropped it in the sink right away, but you still ratted me out to the teacher. I didn’t get to use the Bunsen burner for a month after that.”

Lan Zhan was still backing up, but slower. His eyes had drifted down to the asphalt between them. 

“Fifteen years ago, I died.” Wei Ying pushed through the panic lingering in his chest. He shuffled away from the car behind him. “There… there was a little boy. He was chasing a butterfly and slipped away from his grandmother. I saw him go into the street and my body just… moved. There was a car swerving down the road and I just— I moved. I ran after him and made sure he was safe.”

There were tears on Lan Zhan’s face now. Wei Ying itched to reach out, but he kept his distance. Any wrong move and Lan Zhan was bound to run again, screaming that Wei Ying was crazy. He really couldn’t handle that kind of rejection. 

“Death is much different then I thought it would be,” Wei Ying mused. “For one, I didn’t get to leave. I don’t know what would have been waiting for me, but I like to think it would have been something simple. Like my bedroom growing up. Or that bookstore we used to go to. The one with the star mural? I miss that place so much.

“It turns out, I won the shittiest cosmic lottery. I get to stick around, but I’m surrounded by death almost every day. I’m a grim reaper now. I have to release the souls of people about to die so that they don’t feel pain when it happens. And then, I help them move on. It sounds pretty mystical and amazing, but it’s basically the worst internship in the world. We don’t even get paid.” 

Wei Ying was pouring out everything he’d bottled up over the years in one spectacular flood. It sounded crazy, even to himself. Lan Zhan was probably already mentally trying to connect with Detective Liu and file a restraining order against him. Or maybe he was trying to figure out if Wei Ying was possessed and needed to be seen by a priest. 

Either way, it wasn’t going well. And this was before Wei Ying got his karmic comeuppance. Surely this broke every reaper rule. Exposing himself to someone from his life, explaining what a grim reaper does. Giving this much insight of death to a living person was probably a fire-able offence on its own. 

Can grim reapers be fired? Wei Ying was sure he was going to find out soon. 

“S-sorry,” he said. “Sorry, I just… I couldn’t let you go on thinking that I was in love with someone else, Lan Zhan. Especially Mo Xuanyu. I mean, he’s me, but also he’s the worst of me. A disaster in every sense of the word. So uh, I’ll leave you alone now. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I’m sorry if… if  somehow it rebounds to you. That— dammit, I should have thought about that first…” 

Wei Ying rubbed his nose, thinking. There was a lot he needed to do if this was his last day on earth. Surely, his actions wouldn’t go unpunished. He needed to get home, to grab the ledger and the Man in White’s notebook. Wen Ning would need them. 

Already deep in thought, Wei Ying turned. He paused, looking at Lan Zhan once more. The man was matching his gaze with wet eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry for everything. For dying before we could talk again. For letting us drift apart to begin with. I know I always said that I was going to live without regrets, but I forgot about dying with them. Silly, stupid Wei Ying…

“Thank you for not, I don’t know, punching me? Or pushing me again. That… that wasn’t fun. And thanks for being Mo Xuanyu’s friend. It meant more than I could ever say. Goodbye.” 

Wei Ying turned around and walked away. He didn’t allow himself to look back. 

With shaking hands, Wei Ying waited for the bus. He’d walked to the stop further away from the cemetery, not wanting to see Lan Zhan’s car on the road. It felt wrong to ride the bus on his death day, but Wei Ying wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it home on his own. His body felt wrecked, fragile and exhausted. 

He’d left his guitar at the cemetery. His bag was there too, as well as his water bottle. Was it taboo to litter at your grave? Wei Ying wasn’t sure what else he could do wrong today. 

Clouds had rolled in, covering most of the blue sky in grey. Wei Ying hoped that it would rain. It might be the last rain he ever got to see. 

Wei Ying really screwed up this time. He broke every rule the Man in White gave him. The wall between his life and death was shattered in one blow. Everything was laid bare. His afterlife, his undead purpose. His feelings that never dared to name were suddenly thrown at the feet of the man who caused them. 

It was a terrible thing to curse Lan Zhan with. Love that never had a chance to be. A glimpse at what might have been. Even if Lan Zhan did believe him, which was a long shot, he now had to lose Wei Ying again. It was the cruelest thing Wei Ying had ever done. 

The storm clouds continued to gather. Wei Ying hoped the rain would arrive soon to cover up his tears. 

“Wei Ying.” 

His head moved instinctually towards the voice calling his name. He would always answer Lan Zhan’s call. 

“Wei Ying.” 

Lan Zhan’s grey coat matched the sky. He was standing on the sidewalk, his nearly silent car behind him. The dark strands of his hair were windswept, strands sticking out and curling oddly. It didn’t take away from his handsome appearance. It only added to it. 

“Lan Zhan.” 

It was Wei Ying’s favorite thing to say. His favorite name. Like every time before, saying Lan Zhan’s name made something inside him shiver with joy. A little buzz of happiness that he’d never been able to replicate. Wei Ying wanted to stay in that contentment forever. 

Lan Zhan stepped closer. He looked cautious, breathless, like the smallest wrong move from either of them would shatter him. Wei Ying stayed still, waiting. 

A hand rose between them. Lan Zhan’s hand. It still looked so pretty, long fingers, trim nails. Wei Ying didn’t know hands could be pretty, but Lan Zhan’s were. Wide and strong. They were meant to create beautiful things. 

Lan Zhan stepped closer, the tips of his fingers touching Wei Ying’s cheeks. It felt like tiny beams of sunlight peaking though fluttering leaves. Wei Ying closed his eyes. 

“Lan Zhan…” he said quietly. If this was all he would get, the only bit of affection he’d ever receive from Lan Zhan, it was enough. It was enough just to hear his own name in that voice. To have his attention for just a moment. Wei Ying could die again, happy just knowing that for a second, Lan Zhan believed him. 

A smile pulled at his lips. Content and easy, something Wei Ying hadn’t felt in a long time. 

The fingertips on his cheek became a whole hand. Then, two. His face was being held in Lan Zhan’s pretty hands with the utmost care. Wei Ying grinned, his smile growing wider as his whole body practically melted. 

It was enough, more than enough. It was perfect. 

“Wei Ying… there you are.” 

Wei Ying opened his eyes. Looking down at him, hazel eyes sparkling gold with tears, Lan Zhan was smiling. He rubbed his thumb at the corner of Wei Ying's lips. 

“There you are.” 

“Here I am, Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying covered Lan Zhan’s hands with his own. Tears were flowing freely down both their cheeks. “I’m here.” 

“Y-you’re here.” Lan Zhan choked on his words. His smile faded into a quiet sob. “You’re here.” 

Lan Zhan enveloped Wei Ying in a tight hug. He held the other man desperately, hands grasping at his back and trailing up to his neck. Wei Ying hugged him back just as frantically. He buried his face in Lan Zhan’s neck, breathing in the scent of sandalwood and home. A huff of laughter escaped his lips. 

“Y-you believe me,” Wei Ying whined, sobs warping his voice. “I can’t believe you really… I thought you’d be calling the cops on me! Finding an exorcist. Or just leaving without a word.” 

“I’m not leaving you. Never again.” Lan Zhan’s cheek was pressed against Wei Ying’s head. Tears were making his hair damp. 

“I’m glad. Lan Zhan… I’ve missed you so much.” 

“I missed Wei Ying every second for the last fifteen years.” 

Wei Ying gasped, his mind racing. This couldn’t be real. It was too good, too perfect. Lan Zhan believed him, that he was undead and thriving. Lan Zhan was in his arms, steady and warm. He was similarly held by the man, enveloped and feeling safer than he’d ever felt in his entire life. Wei Ying never wanted this to end. 

But that was the problem. It could very well end at any moment. Wei Ying pulled back. 

“Lan Zhan… I need to tell you something. I-I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but… fuck. There's so much I want to tell you.”  

“Then tell me.” Lan Zhan wiped the tears from both their eyes. “Wei Ying, tell me.” 

“Okay… okay. But not here. Let’s go to my place.”

“Mn. Let me find a place to park my car.” 

“Huh? Uh, why would you do that.” 

Lan Zhan looked at Wei Ying plainly. “Wei Ying doesn’t like cars.” 

The tiny bit of care sent Wei Ying over the edge once more. He laughed as tears flowed from his eyes, feeling both elated and ridiculous. It was such a small thing, but hearing Lan Zhan’s easy consideration for him was mind blowing. It had been so long since he’d been someone’s first priority. Maybe not even since his parents were around. 

“It’s okay, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said. “We can drive. I trust you.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I jumped on the hood of your car, Lan Zhan. I knew it would be okay then and I know it now.” 

A pretty pink flush started at Lan Zhan’s ears and dusted his cheeks. The man seemed stunned silent. Wei Ying giggled. 

“C’mon. Let’s go to my place.” 

Wei Ying’s house was at the end of a residential street. It was a little separate from the rest of the neighborhood, a large old tree with drooping branches completely obscuring one half of the sidewalk. There was an empty car park that Lan Zhan pulled into smoothly. Like his car was always meant to fit there. 

“I’d like to pre-apologize for the mess,” Wei Ying said. “I never have people over.” 

Lan Zhan had fetched Wei Ying’s things that he’d left at his grave. It was a good thing too, as mere moments after they set off from the bus stop, it started to rain. 

Letting Lan Zhan into his house felt strange. There were parts of the place that still didn’t feel like his own. 

When Wei Ying moved in, stumbling through the front door and feeling like a criminal, he felt bad moving things. The Man in White had so much stuff. It wasn’t messy or dirty, but there were so many bits and pieces that Wei Ying had half convinced himself that the man was a recovering hoarder. Eventually, Wei Ying sorted out what things he could recycle and donate. There was a shocking amount of scraps that the local recycling center loved. 

More interesting items made their way to the room at the very back of the house. Items that felt decades, maybe even centuries old. A white cloth band in an ornate box. A folding fan with the character for wind in fading black ink. A silver butterfly charm that looked as delicate as it was striking. A single red bead in a ring box. Wei Ying didn’t want to get rid of these things. They felt too important. 

Now, Wei Ying had his own collection of strange things. Items from his reaps, when the souls he collected wouldn’t take no for an answer. There were paintings and figurines, jewelry and books. One man had insisted that Wei Ying take his clothes. He said that most of it would be donated anyway and he might as well get some things for free. Wei Ying still wears the sweater he took years later. 

Lan Zhan studied the cluttered bookshelves while Wei Ying made tea. He’d look over his shoulder, opening his mouth to speak a few times, before chickening out. 

“Here you go, Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying handed him a mug once the tea was done. Their fingers brushed as he took it. 

It was awkward between them, now that all the crying was done with. The pattering of the rain outside was the only thing saving them from complete silence. 

“Um, do you want to sit?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan nodded. 

Sitting helped. Wei Ying traced the rim of his mug with a finger, watching the steam rise. He always liked to steep his tea for a little longer than recommended. He liked strong flavors. 

“Have you lived here? This whole time?” Lan Zhan broke the silence first. 

“Yeah. Since day one,” Wei Ying responded. “The reaper before me gave me this place before he left. Just handed over the keys and his wallet. I have to pay for the water and electricity, but that’s pretty much it.” 

“The man before you?”

“Yeah. I never actually caught his name. He still gets junk mail sometimes, but it’s under like, five different names. The surname is usually ‘Hua’.” 

Lan Zhan looked down at his tea. “I’m not sure I understand.” 

“It’s a lot, trust me, I know. Basically, when someone dies, there’s a chance that they are the last soul a grim reaper needs to meet their quota. Once it’s full, the soul they took fills their place. I filled someone's quota and here I am. Really, shitty luck.” 

“It… feels too simple.” 

“You’re telling me.” 

“You… you really died. And you remember it? The a-accident?” Lan Zhan had that desperate look on his face. He was trying to control it, to hide it under practiced composure, but Wei Ying had learned long ago how to weasel past those defenses. He set down his mug and moved to sit next to Lan Zhan on the couch. 

“I remember every second,” he said gently. “But don’t worry, Lan Zhan. It didn’t hurt. My soul was popped out before it happened, so I didn’t feel a thing.” 

Lan Zhan swallowed, it was another long show. He reached for Wei Ying’s hand and gripped it tightly. 

“I’ve had a long time to think about my death, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said. “A part of me is still angry that I died so young. Actually, I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. But I’ve made my peace with it, I guess. Learned when to be sad and when to keep moving forward. I… I hope you were able to do the same?” 

Wei Ying really didn’t want to learn that his death had devastating effects on Lan Zhan, his family, everyone. Loss hurt, more than anything a person could imagine, but it didn’t mean that life stopped. Wei Ying didn’t want to be responsible for irrevocably hurting his loved ones. 

Lan Zhan set his own tea down on the table. He pressed his lips together, furrowing his brow as he tried to find the right words. 

“Loosing you was like nothing I could have ever anticipated.” Lan Zhan’s voice was soft, his words carefully chosen. “I know loss. I have lived in sadness for many years. Wei Ying, when I learned of your death, it was like my heart stopped beating along with you. I… I cannot describe it. I’m not sure how I survived it.” 

“Lan Zhan… oh, Lan Zhan, I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t be. Please, don’t say ‘sorry’ anymore. You did what you believed was right. You saved a life.”

Wei Ying bit his cheek. He wanted to say sorry again, for causing Lan Zhan pain. Why did he feel guilty? If anyone should have this feeling, it was the drunk woman who hit him. Wei Ying never followed up on what happened to her. For years, he just didn’t want to think about it. No outcome would have felt like enough. 

“May I ask you something?” Lan Zhan was holding both of his hands now. Wei Ying loved it.

“Anything.” 

“Outside the cemetery, you said… you said that you love me? Wei Ying, do you really? Do you love me?” 

A streak of adolescent embarrassment made him want to say no. To deny, deny, deny. Hide with a joke, cower under a laugh. Wei Ying was twenty-two when he died and time sort of slipped over him every day since. It was hard to feel your age when you existed outside of the living. 

But it had been fifteen years, and Wei Ying might disappear come morning after breaking every rule he knew in this afterlife. How could he lie at this moment?

“I do,” Wei Ying said with a smile. “I do love you. I think I always have, in different ways. When I saw you again, that first time at the cemetery, it hit me like– oo, I was about to make a very morbid joke that I don’t think you’d appreciate right now. Sorry, I kind of have a dark sense of humor after everything.” 

“I understand. Thank you,” Lan Zhan said.

“Of course. But really, that day, everything changed. I realized that what I had felt for you all those years just kept growing. It grew so big and wonderful, what else could it be? I love you, Lan Zhan. I love you so much.” 

“I love you, Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan was leaning forward, his eyes shimmering. “I’ve loved you since we were sixteen.”

“W-what?” 

“I was afraid. Of scaring you. I would have rather had you as a friend then risk chasing you away with my feelings. And then you died and I lost you permanently before- before I ever had the chance…”

“Shh, it’s okay, Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying pulled the other man down so his head was resting on his chest. “It's okay Lan Zhan. I’m here. Tell me now, as much as you want. As much as you need too.” 

“I love you, Wei Ying. I love you so much.” 

“I love you, Lan Zhan. In life and death, I will always love you.” 

It wasn’t clear who moved first. Which one of them pulled the other harder, who lunged forward faster. One moment, they were sitting across from one another, hands entangled, and the next, their lips were crashing together. Over and over and over and over, until it was impossible to tell where one kiss ended and the other began. 

Hands were everywhere. Spikes of pleasure radiating from each touch. Wei Ying felt breathless, weightless, like he was nothing and everything all at once. Lan Zhan tasted like tea and spearmint. Every inch of skin Wei Ying found was burning hot. His mouth was like the sweetest lava flow. 

Wei Ying gasped at the pressure of a tongue at the seam of his lips. He cautiously reached out, groaning when Lan Zhan met him once more with eagerness. He opened his mouth and let the other man have his way. 

It felt so good. So right. Like nothing had ever felt before. Wei Ying thought he knew what it was to be alive, but with Lan Zhan in his arms, his mouth pulling out keens and wails, Wei Ying realized how much he missed. How much catching up he still needed to do. 

But he didn’t have time. Not anymore. 

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying whispered the name desperately. He didn’t want to stop, but this had to be said. He couldn’t let Lan Zhan hope for a future. 

“Mn.”  Lan Zhan’s voice sounded wrecked. A beautiful destruction that Wei Ying caused. He wanted to do so much more. To leave a trail of carnage behind him and then spin around and let Lan Zhan do the same. 

Not now. Maybe not ever. Tell him, tell him, tell him!

“Lan Zhan. I don’t know if I can stay.” Wei Ying pushed Lan Zhan away. Something in his chest felt close to snapping. “I-I’m sorry but, something happened, this happened. This wasn’t supposed to— I had rules and now…” 

“Wei Ying, calm down,” Lan Zhan said gently. “Take a breath, then explain.” 

It was the perfect thing to say. Wei Ying hated that he had to hear it. 

“Th-there are rules to be a grim reaper. We aren’t supposed to contact people from our lives. We can’t tell anyone what we are. B-but I couldn’t just let you go on without knowing.” Wei Ying felt his eyes burn once more. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, Lan Zhan. I don’t know if they’ll let me stay.” 

He pulled Lan Zhan into a hug. His confession seemed to stun Lan Zhan. The man was stiff in his arms, his eyes wide. Wei Ying kept mumbling apologies into his ear. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. I shouldn’t have— but you were so devastated thinking I loved someone else. My poor heart can’t take your sad eyes, did you know? It’s my one weakness. 

“Ah, Lan Zhan… I’m so sorry. I’m making you lose me again. I didn’t mean too, really, I just wasn’t thinking. I was just being selfish and now it’s going to hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should have never told you the truth.”

Wei Ying was working himself into a proper meltdown. This was like dying all over again. The realization that everything was coming to an end and those he left behind would hurt once more. It was terrible, so very terrible, and it was all his fault. Wei Ying cried harder.

Slowly, Lan Zhan hugged him back. 

“I would rather have you for one more day than live the rest of my life without telling you that I love you.” 

Wei Ying gasped, his face red and splotchy. “L-Lan Zhan.”

“I’m glad you told me. Even if you must go, I’m glad we had this.” 

“It’s not enough. I don’t want just a day with you. I want a lifetime.” 

Lan Zhan pulled back. His face was peaceful, almost serene, but there were tears streaming down his face at the same overwhelming volume as Wei Ying’s. The sight was so terribly tragic. 

“Wei Ying. I will think of you and love you every day for the rest of my life. It isn’t what we want, but it’s what I can give. That is the lifetime I will promise you.” 

Loving Lan Zhan was becoming the worst thing to ever happen to Wei Ying’s poor undead heart. It felt like equal parts elation and poison. Euphoria and devastation. How could something so incredible be tainted by the fact that it was destined to end too soon? First cut short by Wei Ying’s death and now over a decade later, it was to be severed once again by fate's stupid rules. 

Was this some sort of punishment for their past lives? A curse placed on their souls to intertwine, but only for a moment? Wei Ying wasn’t sure, but it felt like someone or something was being especially cruel. It just didn’t make sense. 

Wei Ying studied every inch of Lan Zhan’s face. He took at the details, memorizing each pore, the color of his lips, the fullness of his lashes. Wei Ying began memorizing the man in front of so that he knew what he was fighting for. Because he would fight their separation. When fate came calling once more, Wei Ying would be ready. To change fate, tear it all down, and give them a better story. One they deserved. 

“How could I not accept such a promise?” Wei Ying pressed his forehead against Lan Zhan’s. “Really, you know how to make a man swoon. Lan Zhan… you’re not much of a fuddy duddy anymore. You’re… I don’t know what you are.” 

“Yours,” Lan Zhan murmured. “I am yours, Wei Ying.”

“And so am I. Yours, I mean.” They kissed again; tears and smiles held between them. Wei Ying leaned forward, his lips teasing Lan Zhan’s pink ears. “If this is all we get, then I’m offering everything, Lan Zhan. My life, my love, my body… everything. Will you take it? Show me what a lifetime with you would be like?” 

In a second, Lan Zhan’s body against his changed. It was like he inhaled and never exhaled. Lan Zhan became tense with anticipation. Hands firmer against Wei Ying’s side, trailing down to his thighs. The air between them grew warmer, their skin sensitive and twitching at every brush. Wei Ying felt a heat pool in his belly that slowly crawled lower. 

“Bedrooms down the hall on the left,” he murmured. “Can we…?”

“Yes.” 

Lan Zhan guided Wei Ying legs around his waist and stood, effortlessly picking the man up. Wei Ying felt his head spin at the casual strength. He wrapped his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck and let his hungry mouth devour those perfect lips in front of him. 

If this was the only time they were going to get, Wei Ying wanted to feel everything. He wanted to give everything. 

He wanted to be selfish for just a little longer.

Wei Ying felt utterly spent and absolutely spoiled. His legs had been replaced with jelly. His voice wrung out and horse. Red marks littered his neck, his chest, his thighs. It was so much more than he ever dreamed. So much better, messier, funnier, and just so much. Wei Ying had never slept with someone before. He just, never found someone he wanted to be so intimate with. But with Lan Zhan, he felt voracious. Possessive like a jealous wife in a sea of sirens. Luckily, he was met with the same passion. 

Lan Zhan was laying next to him, the pale skin of his chest all on display. There were marks along his neck, trailing down to his firm pecs. Wei Ying counted each mark with his fingers, watching Lan Zhan’s skin shiver with each brush. It was an addicting sight. 

“You’re too handsome, Lan Zhan. It’s unfair for the rest of the world.” Wei Ying teased. 

“Incorrect. Wei Ying is the most attractive.” Lan Zhan hadn’t stopped staring at Wei Ying the whole night. Even in the middle of a passionate act, he was watching Wei Ying.  

“Maybe I was, but not now.” Wei Ying sighed. “The world can’t see my real face anymore. Just… Mo Xuanyu. I know to you, it’s probably weird, huh? That I look different. I… forget sometimes. I still see myself when I look in the mirror.” 

“Wei Ying is Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said simply. “Your smile was all I needed to see.” 

“My… smile?” 

“Mn. Your genuine joy is beautiful, Wei Ying. When I saw you smiling, truly happy for the first time since we met again, that was when I realized it was you. Not just a figment of my imagination.” 

Wei Ying rolled to the side. His back twinged a bit, but it was a nice kind of pain. Lan Zhan was already facing him. 

“A while back, when I was Mo Xuanyu, you said that you had a friend who was easy to read. That you could always tell his real smiles from his fake ones. You were talking about me.” 

“Yes.” 

“Lan Zhan. Our whole lives! You knew when I was lying to you?” 

“No, not our whole lives. It took time to learn. Eventually, I knew when you were lying to yourself.” 

Wei Ying buried his face in Lan Zhan’s shoulder. It was a little embarrassing to be called out on such a thing. It also shed some light on how Lan Zhan would react to him sometimes when they were young. Random gifts or snacks that would mysteriously coincide when Wei Ying was having a rough time. As it turns out, Lan Zhan was watching Wei Ying almost as closely as Wei Ying was watching him. Funny, how they never realized how much the other cared. 

The rain continued throughout the night. A lovely soundtrack to everything happening indoors. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan continued to talk and kiss and indulge one another. There was no room for more tears in this moment. Sheltered by their own delirious joy, the rest of the world faded away and it was just the two of them, filling the air with as much love as they could. 

By the time dawn came, Wei Ying almost forgot what he’d done. Then, the doorbell rang. 

Wei Ying sat up, alarmed. He never got visitors, not even solicitors. Besides that, it was too early for anyone to be at his door. Somehow, instinctually, Wei Ying knew that something otherworldly had arrived. 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying gasped. “I think… I think it’s time.” 

He turned to the man beside him. Lan Zhan was also sitting up, his face a shade paler. But his eyes were focused, burning with a courage that Wei Ying desperately needed. How was it, that this man who was about to lose his love for a second time, looked so brave? With messy hair, his own love bites still red and bright. Lan Zhan was radiating strength that Wei Ying just didn’t have at that moment. A true light to shine their way forward. 

Wei Ying didn’t know what to say. It almost felt like he couldn’t say anything anymore. He’d done it all already, through tears and smiles. He’d shown Lan Zhan just what their bond meant to him with his entire body and mind. Words now just felt foolish.

“Come with me to the door?” Wei Ying asked quietly. 

Lan Zhan took Wei Ying’s hand in his. He kissed it tenderly, closing his eyes. “Of course.” 

They stood, Wei Ying swearing as his legs trembled beneath him. He glared at the resulting smirk on Lan Zhan’s face. 

Gathering what clothes they could find on the floor, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan got ready to face the day. 

The doorbell didn’t ring again, though they took their sweet time. Wei Ying ran a hand through his hair, the strands brushing the tops of his shoulders. A part of him wanted to put it up in a ponytail like normal, but the memory of Lan Zhan’s hands tangling the loose locks made him choose differently. He wanted to savor the feeling in any little way he could. 

Dressed and somewhat presentable, they went to the door, holding hands the entire way. 

The front door had no window and the peephole was so blurry it was impossible to make anything out. Wei Ying stared at the door, his heart pounding. He wanted to fight this, to stay by Lan Zhan’s side. But he was afraid. Even after fifteen years, he knew so little about his existence as a grim reaper. Fear of the unknown was a very hard thing to combat. 

“I love you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you, Wei Ying.” 

“I’m sorry for everything.” 

“I’m not.” 

Wei Ying turned, looking at the man beside him. There was pain in his eyes, but it was overshadowed by the pure tenderness in Lan Zhan’s smile. Wei Ying couldn’t help but match it with his own. 

“Okay, okay… here we go…” Wei Ying opened the door. 

Standing there, in a white sweater that looked softer than a cloud, was the Man in White.

“It… it’s you. How is it you?” Wei Ying asked breathlessly. 

The man looked almost exactly the same as Wei Ying remembered. Almost. There was something different about him. A glow of warmth, of happiness, that wasn’t there before. His eyes were just as kind, his hair long and shiny. But there was a looseness to his posture. The absence of tension that Wei Ying hadn’t noticed before. 

Standing beside the man was another figure. Taller and leaner with an eye patch covering his right eye. Wei Ying vaguely recognized this figure as the one that appeared when the Man in White moved on. But how…?

“I-I don’t understand…” Wei Ying murmured. The Man in White smiled. 

“It’s good to see you again, Wei Ying. Sorry for the unprompted visit, but may we come in? There is something that I need to discuss with you.” 

Wei Ying felt Lan Zhan’s hand twitch. He squeezed back, hoping to ease some of his worry. This wasn’t the divine retribution he expected. 

“Uh, sure! Yes, of course. It’s technically your house anyway.” 

“Thank you very much.” The Man in White nodded as he passed. The other man wore a dark red trench coat with shiny silver buttons. He smirked as he passed, following the Man in White without a word.

Wei Ying felt like his head was spinning. 

The new pair sat side by side on the couch. The Man in Red crossed his arms, leaning back as his single eye roamed around the space. Every once and a while, his attention would linger on something and he would smile. 

The Man in White was also looking around, probably noting what’s changed since he last lived there. There was a charming wonder in his gaze. Like every little thing was endlessly interesting. When those warm brown eyes settled back on Wei Ying, he couldn’t help but tense. The Man in White noticed. 

“Would you and your friend like to sit down?” he asked. 

“They're about as friendly as you and I, gege,” the Man in Red teased. 

“San Lang…” a blush appeared on the man's face. The other, San Lang, smirked. 

“Are you here to take me away?” Wei Ying couldn’t stand it anymore. This casual conversation. This show of comfort and kindness. For almost the past twenty-four hours, both he and Lan Zhan were existing like it was their last day together. Their last shot at being a whole instead of a half. Delaying the break, it was just too painful. 

The Man in White stopped smiling. He sat up straighter, gaze still somehow soft. 

“No, Wei Ying. I’m not here to take you away.”

Wei Ying shook his head. “But I broke the rules. Every rule. I-I told someone from my life who I really am. I told him about my afterlife. Being a grim reaper, taking souls. I told him everything!” 

“You did. And once, there might have been punishment for that, but things have changed, Wei Ying. They’ve changed for the better.” 

Lan Zhan’s hand was shaking. Wei Ying’s too. He couldn’t tell where his tremors ended and Lan Zhan’s began. It was like an electric current on a loop. Only growing stronger with each pass. 

“They aren’t getting it, gege. Maybe you should be a bit more direct?” San Lang lounged on the couch like it was a throne. His confidence was practically oozing into the cushions.

“Perhaps you’re right. Hm, where do I even begin…” 

“How about the fact that you were given an impossible quota that took you eight hundred years to fill?” 

The Man in White sighed. “San Lang, that’s over now. No need to be angry about it anymore.” 

“I’ll continue to be your rage when you need it, gege. Besides, it’s worked quite well, don’t you think?” 

Wei Ying had taken a step back. He bumped into Lan Zhan’s chest, his warmth a small comfort for the chill radiating throughout his body. 

“Eight hundred years,” he gasped. Wei Ying knew he’d be a grim reaper for a long time, but that felt… it felt cruel. He couldn’t be alone for eight hundred years. 

“Oh, no, please, don’t concern yourself with that, Wei Ying,” the Man in White said. “That won’t happen to you, I promise. No, you will live a normal life span. That’s what I’m here to tell you. Wei Ying, you were not supposed to die.” 

The words hung in the air like a heavy perfume. 

“But I did,” Wei Ying said quickly. “I did die and then I met you and left everyone behind.” 

The Man in White looked sad. “I know. I’m not sure if you remember, but when we met, I mentioned that you weren’t on my list until the last minute. I almost didn’t make it to you in time to release your soul. You were not the first that happened too and in all honestly, it bothered me every time. 

“When I was finally able to move on, and San Lang and I were reunited, we were able to do something about these odd deaths. Discover what was really happening with each and everyone of them.” 

“What do you mean? I-I saved a little boy’s life. That wasn’t wrong.” 

“It wasn’t. But that child was lured into the accident by a darker force. One that knew you would do whatever you could to save him.” 

It sounded ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as dying and becoming a grim reaper. Wei Ying pulled Lan Zhan’s hand up to his chest, basically making the other man hug him. His heart was beating so rapidly it felt like this was the only way to keep it in place. 

“Someone stole your potential,” San Lang spoke up, his one eye gleaming. “Just like they stole ours. They manipulated events so that you would die before you had the chance to become something great and used that unfulfilled potential as power. Because they were too weak to do anything themselves.” 

The Man in White looked somber for a moment before agreeing. “Yes, that is exactly what happened. That person has been removed from this existence. But all the same, I am very sorry this happened to you, Wei Ying. It’s not much, but as recompense for what you’ve been through, I can offer you life. Unfortunately, since you’re technically and legally dead, you’d have to continue living as Mo Xuanyu. Your appearance too would be his… yours? Well, either way—”

“W-wait. Wait, wait you… you can’t be serious,” Wei Ying stuttered. He felt lightheaded, legs weak for a different reason. “Please, slow down I… I think I misunderstood you. You can’t be serious. I can… I can stay? I can live?” 

The Man in White smiled again. Even his partner had a tiny grin on his lips.  

“You didn’t misunderstand, Wei Ying. You can stay. You can live. It won’t be as you, though. True resurrection would cause too many negative ripple effects, I’m afraid. ‘Mo Xuanyu’ would become a real person, and ‘Wei Ying’ would stay dead. But you’ll be alive again. Able to get hurt and age and exist side by side with the rest of the living.”

Wei Ying felt like he was going to blink and it would all be a lie. That Lan Zhan had sent him to a coma after endless waves of pleasure. Was it possible to pass out from good sex? Probably. Wei Ying wanted to find out. And maybe, but some impossible chance, he’d have that ridiculous chance. 

A chance to hold Lan Zhan for more than just a night. To take him out to dinner, go for walks in the park, relax on a couch next to him. Wei Ying could finally learn how to cook. He could save up for a flute and play again. He could go to school, buy a bike, feed the crows. 

The Man in White was giving him life. Bringing him back from the abyss of the last fifteen years. It was too good to be true, but Wei Ying… he believed it. He believed in this mysterious man and his kind smile. 

“You're serious… you— thank you.” Wei Ying rushed forward and hugged the Man in White. He nearly fell on him, since he was still sitting on the couch. He was surprisingly solid, not moving an inch as Wei Ying crashed into him. A light laugh like butterflies filled the air. 

Wei Ying stood from his hug and turned back to Lan Zhan. There was that terrible, fragile hope on his face again. All that bravery from before was melting away to fear that was lurking beneath. His hazel eyes were glimmering gold. 

“Lan Zhan… I get to stay.” Wei Ying grinned. Lan Zhan didn’t move. He stared at Wei Ying, eyes darting to the people behind him with caution. 

“Will I still know that he is Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan asked. The question took Wei Ying by surprise for a moment. Then, the worry set in. He turned back around to the Man in White. 

“Wait, you said ‘Wei Ying’ will stay dead. So, then Lan Zhan… he won’t know it’s me?” He won’t love me, went unsaid. 

“Well,” the Man in White shrugged. “You technically did already tell him everything. So I don’t see why he should forget.” 

“You have such a soft heart, gege.” San Lang smirked. The Man in White politely preened. 

Wei Ying processed that information. It all sounded perfect, too perfect. He broke the rules, spent the night with Lan Zhan, and now he was getting everything he wanted? A second chance at life and love? No one was this lucky. 

“I feel like there’s a catch,” Wei Ying murmured. “This is too good to be true.” 

San Lang shrugged. “Well, you did die. Isn’t that enough of a catch? Don’t waste your time questioning every little thing. Some gifts really are just gifts. Take them.”

Wei Ying didn’t have a moment to breathe before he was being crushed against Lan Zhan’s chest. This hug was twice as desperate, twice as frantic, as the one they shared at the bus stop yesterday. All the bravery and strength Lan Zhan had been building all morning came crumbling down in a moment and the man himself was caught in the landslide. 

No, he was caught by Wei Ying. 

A rush of words flowed out of his mouth. Soft reassurances, declarations of love, sweet chuckles and smiles. Wei Ying felt Lan Zhan’s knees buckle and he gently followed him to the ground. 

Oh, my Lan Zhan. You were so scared of losing me again, weren’t you? 

It was breaking him, destroying the careful shelter Lan Zhan had built for himself over the years. And he was determined not to let Wei Ying see any of it. To send him off into the unknown with reassurance and strength. 

“You weren’t going to show me any of this, were you?” Wei Ying smoothed down Lan Zhan’s hair. “I was wrong, you still are a fuddy duddy. A ridiculous man that tried so hard to be strong for me. Well, no more, okay? We’re in this together now, you and me. For the rest of our lives.” 

Wei Ying pulled back and cupped Lan Zhan’s face in his hand. His cheeks were sticky with tears.

“The rest of our lives,” Lan Zhan said quietly, reverently. 

Finally, the world felt right again. 

“Wei Ying, if I could have your hand for a moment?” The Man in White was standing, as was his companion. San Lang was looking at Lan Zhan with a little furrow to his brow. There was a curious narrowing of his eye, like he was studying something almost familiar. 

Wei Ying brushed off Lan Zhan’s tears with his sleeve and helped the other man stand. He turned to face the Man in White, offering his hand. The callouses on the mysterious man’s hands were just as surprising as his solid strength. 

A white glow emanated from their joined hands. Wei Ying felt warmth flooding his veins. 

“To right the wrongs of those who came before, I grant your soul life again. Use it well, Wei Ying.” 

There was a lingering hollowness from his death that Wei Ying had learned to ignore over the years. The absence of true life. A body that wasn’t normal, a soul that was detached. It felt like a jolt of electricity when life rushed back into him. The air he breathed tasted sweeter. The colors of his home brighter. Wei Ying turned and gasped. Lan Zhan somehow looked even more handsome. Stunning, even with messy hair and rumpled clothes. His smile was small, but wonderful. Full of the same joy that Wei Ying felt all the way down in his bones. 

 “Thank you,” Wei Ying said to the Man in White once more. “I feel like I could say that a thousand times and it still wouldn’t be enough.” 

“Save your breath, then. It’s far too precious to waste.” The Man in White was smiling when a bit of confusion furrowed his brow. “San Lang?” 

The tall man in red had stepped forward, not to Wei Ying, but to Lan Zhan. They were close in height, with San Lang winning by a mere inch. Both were silent as they looked at one another. 

“Give me your hand,” San Lang said. His tone was firm. 

Lan Zhan glanced at Wei Ying for a moment before complying. San Lang only used one hand as crimson energy shined between them. It was chilly like a winter’s day. 

“While I don’t think appearance really matters to you, I… well. I would want to see the true face of the man I loved, too.” 

It was an odd exchange, odder still by the way San Lang didn’t say anything else. He simply retreated back to the Man in White’s side, standing close enough that their shoulders bumped. 

“Um, okay…” Wei Ying didn’t get to say much more. His face was turned by a familiar hand. Bright hazel eyes widened as Lan Zhan’s mouth dropped into a proper gape. 

“He’ll be the only one to see your true face,” San Lang explained. “When he refers to you with your true name, others will only hear ‘Mo Xuanyu’.”

“Oh! How sweet. San Lang, that was very kind.” The Man in White smiled. 

“Gege would have done if I hadn’t”

If Lan Zhan looked happy before, now he was in awe. Hazel eyes flickered all over Wei Ying’s face. Joy was building in Lan Zhan’s eyes, a rare wide smile gracing his lips. 

“You’re just as beautiful as I remember,” Lan Zhan murmured. Wei Ying felt heat rush to his face. He didn’t even have a moment to gasp before warm lips met his own in a tender press. Wei Ying sighed into the kiss, arms wrapping around his lover's neck. 

“How sweet,” The Man In White cooed. San Lang huffed. 

After their kiss, Lan Zhan bowed to the two of them with all the formality he was raised with. “Thank you. Words cannot even begin to express my gratitude.”   

“Sure.” San Lang, seemingly done with them, turned all his attention to the Man in White. “Now that’s done, we’ve another appointment, don’t we, gege?” 

“Yes. There is one other reaper in town we must speak with.” 

Wei Ying’s attention shot over to the pair. “Wait, Wen Ning? Are you going to give him back his life too?” 

“No, I’m afraid not.” The Man in White’s expression turned somber. “Your friend died when it was his time. There was no outside influence that forced him to leave his life early. I can not give back that what doesn’t exist.” 

“Then… what are you going to do with him? He’ll be alone now, since I’m not… wait, I’m not a reaper anymore, right?” 

“I thought that was obvious?” San Lang sighed. 

“Just making sure,” Wei Ying huffed. “Sorry, I still kind of feel like I’m dreaming or high or something. This is just a shit ton more information than I was ready for at six in the morning.” 

“You know what? That’s fair.” 

The Man in White cleared his throat. “As it turns out, many things were not being handled to the best of their ability. The reapers in particular had a rough time with the last administration.” 

San Lang snorted. The other man continued. 

“All reapers will have their true powers bestowed on them along with receiving the proper, um… benefits? No, that doesn’t feel like the right word. Compensation? Hm, I think we need to work on the wording.” 

“Basically, reapers won’t have to survive on minimum wage and squatting.” San Lang added bluntly.

Wei Ying blinked. “I knew something was messed up! Lan Zhan, wasn’t I just saying that last night? I had three jobs at one point. Three! Just to eat! I mean, how messed up was it that I was technically dead, but still needed to eat and drink and I didn’t even get money to buy all that stuff! Like, I could talk to the dead and take their souls, but I didn’t get a celestial paycheck? It was so stupid!” 

The Man in White chuckled while San Lang smirked. For his part, Lan Zhan was staring at Wei Ying with a soft smile. Halfway through his rant, Wei Ying realized that this was the first time Lan Zhan had seen him, really seen him, in fifteen long years. The realization sent shivers down his spine. 

“I believe that’s our cue, gege.” San Lang placed a hand on the Man in White’s back. The gentle, familiar action confirmed many of Wei Ying's suspicions. 

“Mn, time to go. Good luck Wei Ying. I know that you will live your life well.” 

Wei Ying nodded, blinking rapidly to chase away the tears. 

As the otherworldly pair turned to leave, the front door swung open on its own. The morning light covered everything in a lovely warm glow. 

“W-wait,” Wei Ying called out. Both men turned, but Wei Ying looked straight at the Man in White. “What’s your name?” 

The man blinked and then let out a gentle laugh. 

“I must have forgotten to introduce myself when we met. How funny.” The Man in White smiled as his companion pulled something out of his pocket. Wei Ying didn’t see what it was before San Lang threw it at the open doorway. A swirling dark portal appeared in the threshold. 

“My name is Xie Lian.” 

Wei Ying smiled, holding out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Xie Lian.”

“You as well, Wei Ying.” 

Epilogue: 

“Lan Zhan, I’m sorry, but you're going to have to compromise. We cannot fit a mini grand piano in the living room,” said Wei Ying. He stood with his hands on his hips, trying to be firm. It was hard when his partner had the most lethal sad eyes. 

Lan Zhan turned back to the piano. It was black and so shiny that they could see their reflections in it. It sounded lovely, though Wei Ying couldn’t really tell the difference between the regular grand and the mini. His ear wasn’t as attuned to the differences as it used to be. 

“The upright ones are over there. C’mon, I bet we can find something you like.” 

“I’ve never had a upright piano before,” Lan Zhan said. It was almost a mutter, but he was too refined for that. At least according to Wei Ying. 

They walked over to the opposite side of the store. Yilling only had one music store that felt as old as the city itself. According to Lan Zhan, he fell in love with the place as soon as he stepped inside. The whole second floor was just for sheet music and books. Rumor has it, the owner made Lan Zhan his very own punch card with how much he bought every month. 

“This one is pretty.” Wei Ying trailed his fingers over a dark wood piano. Lan Zhan’s gaze turned sharp as he inspected the instrument. He pulled out the bench and sat on the edge, arms bent at perfect ninety degree angles and wrists loose. Then, he began to play. 

Wei Ying was well aware that he was incredibly biased. Lan Zhan made everything sound so incredible. Even running through scales, it was like listening to a symphony. When they decided to move in together, Wei Ying was appalled to learn that Lan Zhan only had a keyboard at his apartment. 

“And to think, you had a foldable keyboard at your place and you're whining about not getting a baby grand,” Wei Ying huffed. “You’re impossible.” 

Lan Zhan switched from whatever sweet melody he was playing before to Night on Bald Mountain. Wei Ying snorted. 

They left the music store with a receipt and delivery instructions. Soon, their new piano would make its home in their living room. 

Wei Ying rolled down the windows as Lan Zhan drove them home. He still didn’t like cars, but riding with Lan Zhan, he’d never felt scared. Even on his death day, it didn’t even cross his mind to be worried. 

They had quickly settled into a routine after all the excitement faded from Xie Lian’s visit. The immediate aftermath was filled with tears and laughter, most of it interspersed with them rolling around on Wei Ying’s squeaky bed. 

The euphoria of being alive again, of being seen by Lan Zhan and loving him hadn’t faded as months passed. If anything, the feelings only grew. 

It probably seemed crazy to any outsider that they decided to move in together after three months. Wei Ying remembered snickering as Lan Zhan’s brother had a very long phone conversation with him about safety and hasty decisions. To be fair to Lan Huan, it was very alarming for someone who adhered to routines as diligently as Lan Zhan. Suddenly moving in with the town’s cryptid was a reasonable cause for alarm. 

On another note, Wei Ying was very sad that his goal to become a part of the town's Wikipedia page was probably ruined. It was hard to be a weird mystery when you weren’t running around at odd hours of the day and ending up at crime scenes all the time.

Detective Liu was concerned at first, appearing at Wei Ying’s door a few times for a wellness check. When Lan Zhan answered the door shirtless, Wei Ying finally made it off the detectives' shitlist. He could finally go back to the farmers market. 

The detective must have told his sister because mere days later, a card appeared at their door along with a very lovely bouquet of flower shaped fruit. Officer Liu still showed up during her late night shifts at Wei Ying’s convenience store for a chat. She helped him with his literature homework too when his eyes were crossed from reading so much. 

With the addition of a roommate, Wei Ying’s finances allowed for some risk taking. It had been a long time since he was in school, so going back to college was a little intimidating. Even if it was just at the community level. 

The same problem from his reaper days carried into his new life. Mo Xuanyu didn’t have a degree and very little work experience. As much fun as it sounded living off of Lan Zhan’s trust fund, Wei Ying wouldn’t do that to his partner. He had to bring more to the table than just his wit and pretty face. 

Wei Ying wasn’t sure if he was going to go back into science or expand his knowledge a bit. He had time to figure all that out later. 

The little house at the end of the street had been cleaned up a bit. There were some holes in the roof that Wei Ying had been ignoring for the better part of a decade, and the heater only worked some of the time. Lan Zhan, being the busybody that he was, made a checklist of the repairs they needed. Then, his brother suggested a contractor, and everything was taken care of in just a few weeks. It was slowly becoming a home they could live in together. 

One of the only things Wei Ying missed from his reaper life was Wen Ning. He’d gone to visit the man at the hospital only to learn that he’d suddenly resigned. Then, at his apartment, Wen Ning’s landlord said that the lease had been broken and all the fees paid for. 

Wei Ying trusted that Xie Lian would take care of his friend. After everything he and San Lang did for them, it would be foolish to doubt them now. Still, Wei Ying missed his friend. Wen Ning was one of the few bright spots he had in his afterlife. Wherever he was, Wei Ying hoped that Wen Ning was safe and content.

As a small way to stay connected, Wei Ying looked up the sister Wen Ning always spoke so highly about. It turns out, Doctor Wen Qing was a very respected researcher in her field, winning multiple awards that probably required a whole room or shelves to hold. 

She funded many clinics in rural areas, started programs for schools for science and math. Wen Qing even named a foundation after her brother. All in memory of his battle with illness and hoping to find a cure. 

Wei Ying donated his entire paycheck to it once. Lan Zhan matched the amount three times over. 

As they made their way home, Lan Zhan pulled into the car port, shutting off the engine. They were planning on enclosing the space and making a proper garage one day. Wei Ying stretched his arms over his head as he got out, sighing happily. 

“What’s for lunch?” He asked as they walked to the front door. 

“Sandwiches?” Lan Zhan suggested. 

“Oooo, can we order from that place next to the mortuary? The crows like their bread.” 

Said crows had finally accepted Lan Zhan enough that they also brought him shiny things. Lan Zhan was in hot water for a while after trying to wean them off of Double Stuff Oreo’s. He was not successful and only expanded their odd diet to bread from fast food restaurants. 

“Mn. I’ll put in the order.” 

“Hey, Lan Zhan.” 

“Yes?” 

“I love you. Did you know that?”

Lan Zhan smiled. “Yes. I love you, Wei Ying.” 

“In life and death. You’ll always have me.” Wei Ying didn’t give Lan Zhan a chance to reply. He pulled the man close by the front of his shirt and pressed their lips together. Wei Ying smiled against Lan Zhan’s mouth, his joy overflowing. A pleasant hum made his chest rattle as Lan Zhan pressed them closer. 

When Wei Ying was twenty-two years old, he died. 

At thirty-seven, he was alive again, holding the man he loved in his arms. 

Fate really was such a tease.