Archive of Our Own

Cherry Artiri was officially fucked. 

He sat in Riku’s room, on a spinny chair which he insisted would not distract him (it very much did) and tried, for the life of him, to focus. 

Focus on studying, focus on schoolwork, focus…anything productive. Focus on anything but the way the fan spun, the tick ticking of the clock, or the way Riku seemed to be doing perfectly fine focusing. Cherry didn’t get how he did it—just sit down and study. He tried. But his hands would never stop twitching, and his leg wouldn’t stop bouncing, so he knew he was… difficult. 

Oh, how Cherry hated that word. Difficult. He hated how it sounded, hated how his parents would proclaim him to be a head case when he felt unable to do any better. Hated how, no matter how hard he tried, he would always be difficult. And that if he failed his tests, it was just going to be his fault for being so, and he would just have to endure whatever punishment his parents thought of. 

No phone for a week. 

No volleyball finals. 

No car. 

No, this, no that, Cherry had endured it all. Not like the punishments ever helped. No phone while studying couldn’t fix the mental barrier he had built around it, no volleyball couldn’t stop his brain from being too fast to focus.

He didn’t try to be difficult. 

He didn't try to never be able to do shit, to always be a letdown.

He didn’t want his parents to be disappointed, for Riku to think he was a delinquent. 

And he didn’t want to throw away his grades like some kids, he didn’t not care—He was just always ‘difficult’ no matter what he tried, a disorganized ‘head case’ no matter what plan he used, a delinquent no matter if he tried his best or not.

Not that anyone cared. They just took one look at his bad grades and decided he was just some sporty jerk who didn’t give a damn. 

After all, what was the point of trying to win when you know the game was rigged from the start?

Riku thought he was an idiot. Never caring. Not caring about this dumb project, not caring about study, not caring about him. 

As if he wanted to feel like this, wanted to burden Riku, wanted to fail every single fucking class. Fail at life, more like. Sure, he was popular, way more popular than the smarter jerk beside him, but at what cost? When everyone called him a hooker and a delinquent, it sure didn’t feel like he was winning at life. As if he woke up one day and decided to barely pass every exam, to feel like crawling out of his skin every time he tried to study, to feel like this. 

“You just aren’t trying enough,” his ass. He WAS trying! He was trying so fucking hard. 

Trying was just never enough, was it?

His document was blank, the flashing cursor almost laughing at his face, the only written line being a spam of ‘imboredimboredimbored’ so Riku didn’t think he was doing nothing. The prompt sat on his screen, a constant reminder of his inadequacy. 

Riku probably had a whole damn essay by now, and what did Cherry have? 

A single spam line of ‘imboredimboredimbored’. 

He pursed his lips together, resisting the urge to just throw this damn computer out the window. 

The longer he looked at it, the more he wanted to throw up. He was only barely resisting the urge to spin on the chair, or to get up and run, or do anything other than this. 

God, why had he signed up for this? To please his stupid mum? 

‘Oh, go study with Riku! He’ll help you get good grades!’

Well, thank you very much, Mum, cuz now all he was doing was stuck feeling disappointed in himself. How pathetic is that? The fact that he had failed so many times that he had just stopped expecting anything better, that he could already hear everyone telling him how he shoulda done better.

“You got to study with Riku! The top student! Didn’t you listen to him?”

“Kids these days- always online, doing sports, not even caring about their school work.”

“Yeah, and you're not going to be able to pursue sports if you can’t pass school!”

“How did you fail this time? Dude, you gotta lock in—”

“God, Cherry, what do you want me to do with you? I’ve been nice, but nothing I do seems to help. Can’t you just try for your mum for once in your life?”

“DO YOU EVEN CARE?!”

DO YOU EVEN CARE?!

YES, GODDAMIT!

Yes, he cared! How could he not, when it seemed the entire goddamn world revolved around whether or not Cherry passed his finals?

He just…he just could never do anything right, now, could he?

Not his tests, not his friendships, not his relationships. 

He was useless.

UGH. 

It wasn’t his fault that Riku’s room was so distracting! Wasn’t his fault that his mum said that ‘if he wanted some quiet time away from Chloe, he could study at Riku’s place’. Wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t bring himself to say no, because it felt like she was trying to help him, and he needed all the help he could get. 

It was properly Riku’s fault! 

…

He glanced over to the other, who sat on his bed, computer in lap. Fingers constantly moving. Tip tap tip tap. It was beyond distracting; it was almost agonizing, painful. How did he do it? How did he write so fast? RIku never stopped writing, it seemed, never stopped school, drove himself into the fucking wall with all his studies. 

It paid off, though, didn’t it? Maybe that's what you should be doing. 

Tip-tap-tip-tap-tip—

How was he so goddamn good at everything!

And Cherry knew it wasn’t all sunshine lollipops and rainbows for the other either. Knew, in the back of his mind, that Riku prolly put himself under immense pressure cuz of his daddy issues, blah blah blah.

But still!

What he would give to get grades like Riku. 

To be able to focus like Riku. 

Tip-tap-tip-tap—

UGHHHHHH

It was mocking him! The constant flow of noise. Again and again and again and-

“Are you good?”

Until it stopped. And Riku was looking at him. 

Shit. 

Cherry Aritiri hated Riku’s eyes. It was one of the many things he hated about the other, but probably the most petty. He hated their intensity, hated their judgment. He hated how, combined with the other man's smarts, it made Cherry feel constantly on the spot. Like Riku was constantly judging him, like he was constantly unconsciously deciding if Cherry deserved to work with him or not. 

Not.

The answer to that was not, and they both knew it. Cherry a little too well. 

All he did was be useless and complain that studying was boring. Of course it was boring, dimwit, it’s studying. He didn’t need to make such a big deal about it, really. 

Ugh.

And that’s another thing he hated about Riku’s eyes: this look.

The…expecting one. 

Riku read like a book sometimes, or maybe Cherry was just used to reading people, he wasn’t sure. Either way, Riku only had about 4 looks, or only ever looked at Cherry in 4 different ways. He probably looked at Charlotte differently. 

Stupid idiot. 

Getting all the smiles for no reason. What did she do to deserve that? 

She probably gets decent grades, for a start.

There was the ‘Cherry, what the fuck look’. This was probably his favourite, cuz it was pretty funny ragebaiting Riku.

The angry look, the ‘Cherry, you’re such a burden, and you can't write for shit, and I hate you’, look. One of the ginger’s least favourites, but he supposed he was used to it.

That one look from the rare times Riku complimented him, which…was….well.

Cherry hated the weird things it did to his chest. 

He hated himself for liking the weird thing it did to his chest. 

It confused him more than anything, to be quite frank. 

Because it felt like he did something, like he deserved Riku’s attention, like he was worth it. And coming from Riku, who topped every class and aced every test?

He couldn’t. He didn’t deserve it. He got nothing. He didn’t deserve that look. It made him feel high on compliments, and he didn’t like what the feeling did to his nervous system. 

This was none of those looks. 

It was expecting. Expecting Cherry to have something done, expecting Cherry to be better, expecting some more effort to be put into this god-awful project. 

Expecting you to say something, because he asked you a question and you have just been staring at him blankly, daydreaming.

Delinquent. 

Idiot. 

Burden. 

Whore.

Stupi—

“Yeah, I'm fine. Distracted is all.” He laughed a stupid Cherry laugh, the one that won him so many girls he didn’t want to win. 

Riku raised an eyebrow, lowering his computer to 45 degrees. 

“Distracted on me…?” He was still looking at the ginger, with that stupid, intense gaze he always carried, again with the expectation of… something. 

Ugh. 

This was such a trick question. 

Cuz he couldn’t say ‘oh, yeah, I was just over analyzing the different ways you look at me, and kinda wishing you’d look at me like you look at Charlotte, because I don’t know why she likes you and not me. YOU! And your grumpy coldness. Though I suppose you’re only this cold with me? You're pretty distracting, actually, with your tap-tap-taping and your stupid intense gaze.’ 

Because, frankly? That sounded gay as fuck. 

And Cherry was not gay. 

Not that he was homophobic or some shit, but like, he wasn’t—he didn’t—

God.

He wasn’t into guys, really. So what if he occasionally found himself overanalyzing every little part of Riku, so what if it made his heart do weird things when the other complimented him? 

That was normal. Anyone would feel that way if Riku-the-smart-and-studious complimented them, not just Cherry. 

… Right?

It was just that he didn’t get a lot of compliments, well, aside from volleyball. It was just that it surprised him, when someone like Riku, who had topped every class for as long as he could remember, said that he was smart. 

That he wasn’t a burden, that he was contributing to the project. 

He was just shocked, that's all, that's why it felt weird. 

Nothing else. 

Nope. 

So he just rolled his eyes and grinned back, finally giving in to his desires and spinning around the chair, trying to match Riku’s intense gaze. 

“Hah! You wish!” 

You wish that it were you that I found distracting. You wish that. 

You.

Not me. 

Nuh. 

Riku grinned back, that smile that Cherry knew all too well, the one that meant danger. 

Riku never gave Charlotte that smile. 

…

Cherry thought. Like, he hadn’t really seen them interact technically, but he could easily assume.

He had known Riku longer than anyone else, so he was pretty sure that the other was about to spit out a comeback. Or something. 

So, predictably, Riku responded with: “Nah, man. Hate to break it to ya, buuuut you're not really my type.”

Cherry rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. I’m everyone's type.”

Riku cackled. “Yeah, yeah-every straight high school popular girl.”

Cherry groaned. “Hey! It's not my fault that they all want me!”

“And it's not my fault that you always say yes!” Riku raised his voice slightly, closing his laptop and putting his notes away.

God, why do we always argue like this?

He just makes it so easy. It's all his fault. We wouldn’t be fighting if he didn’t have to push, wouldn’t be always arguing. Cherry bet Riku didn’t argue like this with Charlotte, because of course, they seemed to be all friendly all of a sudden. Cherry couldn’t begin to fathom why a girl like Charlotte bothered to hang out with Riku, didn’t understand why she looked so happy around him. 

He didn’t understand how they had become such fast friends. 

Ugh. Yuck.

What's his point here, anyway? It's not like his introverted ass had ever been in a relationship. He didn’t know what it was like.

Cherry sneered, “You would too, if you ever got asked out.”

Riku had stood up now, taking Cherry's computer from underneath his nose and scanning the document. He didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that Riku wouldn’t be proud.

“Uh—No, I wouldn’t, as a matter of fact. I'm recovering from a past relationship healthily and giving myself time to heal like a normal human being, instead of dating a new chick every two weeks.”

“HEY!” 

…

“Dating a new chick every two weeks.”

…

He didn’t do that…Did he? He—he didn’t mean to. Why did he care so much about Riku’s judgment anyway?! What did it mean to him?!

.

More than he was willing to admit.

Riku’s words stung. 

They hurt like a bitch, like a bruise from volleyball that just wouldn’t go away, always in the back of his mind as he dived for the ball. Is that how people viewed him? As a dumb hooker? 

He knew how people viewed Riku. Smart, emo, gay asshole. He also knew that Riku really didn’t give a damn, that, somehow, he just didn’t care. Cherry wished he could say the same about himself. 

He knew people thought he was a hooker. 

Well. 

He was, though, wasn’t he? Didn’t he get a new girl every few weeks? Didn’t he never feel any attachment? 

When was the last time he had been in love?

But it wasn’t like he was using them, at least not consciously. He just felt…empty. So horrifyingly empty, so often. He thought having friends, having so many friends he couldn’t think would help, would distract him, would fill him with fulfillment. It didn’t.

He was still empty. 

He thought maybe finding a girlfriend would do the trick. 

So he dated one. And then another. And then another. Because none of them…felt right. And he tried! He really tried! But it was hard to find romance when there just was simply none, hard to get rid of the empty feeling. 

That…didn’t make him a bad person, though. He was just a teenage boy, goddamnit, he was allowed to have a new girl from time to time without him being evil. 

…right?

Ugh. Whatever. This is stupid. Why was he letting Riku make him question himself? RIKU!

“Ugh, is this really all you got done? If you need help, just ask, moro—”

Subject change?

…

Nah, Cherry was not riding with that.

“Really? Damn, poor girl. Can’t imagine what it would be like dating you. Feel bad for her—oh wait. Never mind you're gay.” Cherry snapped, reaching for his computer back, snatching it out of Rikus's hands. His eyes flicked back to the others, ready to see the telltale smirky smugness in his eyes that was always there, but was left with…

Something else. 

A new emotion on Riku’s face, one Cherry hadn’t seen before in their many years of knowing each other. 

Anger. Well, he had seen anger before, countless times, but it had been…shallow anger. Anger at Cherry because they were rivals, anger because, in all honesty, Cherry was a jerk sometimes. Ok, so maybe most of the time, he was a jerk- but so was Riku! They were even!

But…this emotion…yes, it was anger, but it sat upon something different. Something…hurt.

The words that had exited his mouth came back to him.

“Really? Damn, poor girl. Can’t imagine what it would be like dating you. Feel bad for her—oh wait. Never mind you’re gay.”

….Oh.

OH SHIT—

SHIT HE DIDN'T MEAN TO BE A HOMOPHOBIC IDIOT!

Ahhhh, stupid, stupid Cherry, now what's Riku gonna think of you??

….

Hang on. 

Since when did he care about what Riku thought of him?

He just didn’t wanna be known as homophobic. That's all, really. 

Really.

Riku glared at him now, maybe rightfully so. 

He could already feel the guilt pooling in his guts.

“Yeah, kay, first off, though ‘gay’ is not by any means an insult, I'm not gay, actually. I'm bi. Not sure what your little rumour taught you about my sexuality, but it's not cool, man. I don't even give a fuck about half the things you call me, cuz I know I do the same, and I don't give a fuck that we fight all the time. But calling someone gay, and shaming them for it?”

The raven-haired sighed and shook his head, eyes full of disappointment. “I dunno man, guess I thought you were better than some popular homophobic asshole.”’

Cherry opened his mouth. Closed it.

The words were sitting right there—sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not homophobic, I swear—and yet somehow none of them were making it out.

"Well?" Riku's voice was flat. Expectant in that way Cherry hated.

"I—look, I wasn't trying to—" He stopped. Rewound. "Wait, what did you say you were?"

"Bi. Why—hold up, don't you dare change the subject on me!"

"I'm not trying to, I just—" Cherry frowned. "What's bi."

Dead silence.

Riku stared at him. "Are we deadass right now?"

"Uh." Cherry shifted in the spinny chair. "...yes?"

"Oh my god, Cherry." Riku pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bisexual. Attracted to more than one gender. Both. Whatever. You seriously didn't know that?"

Cherry opened his mouth.

"Don't say anything stupid."

He closed it.

Riku watched him with the particular brand of exhausted suspicion he reserved specifically for Cherry-related situations. Which is fair. Cherry was barely hearing him, because something had snagged in his brain and was refusing to let go, some loose thread he couldn't stop pulling at, and he didn't know why, he didn't—

He didn't know why it mattered so much, suddenly.

"...huh," was what came out.

Silence stretched. Riku let it, which was somehow worse than if he'd filled it.

"Wut?" Riku said, finally. "You gay or something?"

"WHAT— no!" Cherry's head snapped up. "No! Absolutely not, where did that come from—"

"Ok, ok." Riku held up a hand. Insufferably calm. "So. You bi?"

"What? No!" Cherry's voice cracked slightly on the second syllable, which was mortifying, so he powered through it. "Of course not! I—well—" The words kept starting and stopping, starting and stopping, his brain three steps ahead of his mouth and not in a good way, not in any way he wanted to examine, and—"UGH, LEAVE ME ALONE, DUMBASS!"

Riku laughed.

Not the mean kind. Just laughed, surprised and bright, head tipping back slightly. Like Cherry had said something genuinely funny instead of having a complete meltdown in the middle of his bedroom.

Which he wasn't. Having a meltdown. He was fine.

Completely fine.

"Glad we sorted that out," Riku said and opened his laptop again.

Cherry spun aggressively in the chair and tried to form words. 

“So—like. Sorry. Actually. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. To offend you, to be homophobic. I just say things, sometimes, without thinking—I dunno man. Sorry.”

Riku rolled his eyes, but Cherry couldn’t hear him tap-taping, so he assumed he was listening. “Mhm."

“Ugh—look. You owe me one less, yeah?”

He deadpanned.

“Cherry. Are you bribing me for forgiveness?”

“...Yesss...?”

“FINE. Just this once.”

“FUCK YEAH!” He cheered, spinning around on the chair. 

Riku rolled his eyes like it was a profession, leaning over to view Cherry's work. 

“Is this all you got done?!” Cherry winced. 

God, how he hated that tone. 

Like he did it all on purpose. Like he just didn’t care, like he wanted Riku to fail. 

He didn’t. He really didn’t, because he knew how much pressure Riku put on himself to do well, and he knew it would break him to fail. But he also knew that the raven-haired counted anything below an A as failing, and that thought…well. 

On one hand, it was stressful to know the only way to make Riku happy would be to get an A, even though no matter how hard he studied, he had never graded above a -B. 

He wondered how it would feel to get an A. 

To earn an A, not just piggybacking off Riku’s success.

Riku, who was getting increasingly annoyed at him….

“Ah—sorry, what?”

Riku sighed. “Ugh, do you even listen to anything I say?!”

He did. He tried. Please believe that he tried so damn hard, but trying was just never enough. 

“I try, sorry, I get distracted to easil—”

“-Cherry, do you have ADHD?”

Cherry blinked. Look at Riku, his eyes so deep and intense it made his stomach flip, so he looked away as the question floated in his mind. 

Uh…

What?

“Uhhhh…no..? I don't think so. That's when you are like, always energetic, right?”

Riku narrowed his eyes. “I can't believe we’re in the same psych class, oh my lor—it's a bit more than that, Cher. It's like…”

Cher. 

Nickname?

…

He liked that nickname. More than he would like to admit. It topped ‘delinquinet’ any day. 

He stood up, pacing around the room. It was easier to concentrate on that, maybe because Riku was moving almost as fast as Cherry’s brain. 

“You would find it hard to concentrate, hard to sit still, like, your brain goes too fast sometimes…uhm, hard to sleep. Etc. I think you get the picture.”

…

Oh. 

Cherry blinked. 

It would…make sense. 

It lined up. 

He didn’t want to give Riku the satisfaction of being right, though. 

“So, do you reckon you have it? Like. No hate. Of course. I have OCD, I think, but diagnoses cost a fuck ton of money so—”

“Why do you wanna know?” He interrupted, spinning around on the chair and pulling his legs up. He fixed Riku with his most serious glare, which was hard to do, but he managed, and raised an eyebrow. 

Riku rolled his eyes. “Because. It means that this way of learning is gonna be useless, and we probably should find another way to do it, because I want an A.”

Cherry looked at him. Blinked. 

Had he been studying wrong this whole time?

Was that why he never did well?

Because of some stupid fucking mental disorder no one bothered to tell him about?!

He took a deep breath. 

“Ok, well, let's say that hypothetically, I might have ADHD. What do you think—um. Like…”

Oh god, Riku was looking at him like…that. Like he was examining him, picking him apart and deciding how we worked better than Cherry could do for himself. He gulped. 

…What was he saying?

…

UGH. Fucking forgot his sentences again-

“Let me see.” Riku’s voice was calm, decided, like he already knew what Cherry was thinking. 

Almost as if he had already figured out Cherry. 

And his eyes were so intense that Cherry swore he could get lost in them. So big and dark and beautiful, it was really such a shame that they got wasted on taking tests, because really Cherry thought that they were the most deepest voids of eyes he had ever seen, and that stare—so intense, so breathtaking, it left him speechless. Part of him feared the stare, because of what it made him feel, but most of him longed for it, longed for Riku to look at him like that and tell him he was doing good. 

The thought made his face heat up for reasons he didn’t feel like knowing, so he just turned back to his computer, ripping his eyes away from Rikus, although it kind of hurt. 

He continued the staring contest with his computer until he heard Riku’s footsteps, and before he knew it, the raven-haired was there, and right next to him, and his hands were brushing against Cherry’s as he typed on the keyboard. 

Cherry gulped. He forgot Riku had no sense of personal space. 

He felt his heart being weird, which was weird, because they were just two guys—who were enemies, by the way—helping each other with school work. 

And it shouldn’t affect him, because as clearly established, Cherry was not gay. 

…

You might be bi—

—NOPE! NOPITY NOPE NOPE NO IDENTITY CRISIS HERE, NO THANK YOU!

His heart seemed to disagree as it beat way too fast for the situation, and sent way too much blood to his face. He was just glad that Riku seemed focused on sifting through his Google Drive instead of looking at Cherry, because he might get the idea that Cherry was blushing, which wasn't. 

He was just hot. 

Riku grimaced at his computer, a strange sense of shame flooding through Cherry, for some reason.

“Ugh, why is this so disorganized?!” 

He’s disappointed in you.

“It's my computer, dude, it seems organized to me—”

“Yeah, right—scooch over.”

Cherry blinked. What?

“Wha—”

“You're in my house, sitting on my chair, idiot. At least let me take half.”

Oh. Uh.

God, why was his heart beating this fast? They were just two…friends? Enemies? Study-buddies?

Who even knows at this point?

“Oh Uh—okay.”

Cherry nodded without thinking, sliding over so that Riku could sit next to him and uh—

…

…

uh.

…

…

Was it a little gay that Cherry found himself entirely occupied with the feeling of Riku’s body warmth pressed against him?

…

He pursed his lips, trying to ignore it, but goddamn Riku felt so warm. And so comfortable. Like Cherry could just close his eyes and go to sleep, like Riku’s constant calmness could somehow level out his energetic chaos. 

Riku was talking, he thought. Riku was talking, and Cherry wasn’t listening, because he was too occupied with trying to calm his heart rate down. He tried to listen, really he did, but Riku was rambling on about ‘blah blah blah your drives so disorganized blah blah blah’ and it was incredibly hard to focus when Riku's body felt so right pressed up against his, and when the raven-haired's head fit so perfectly in the crook of his neck. 

He could feel red-hot warmth crawling up his neck as he blinked rapidly, trying to focus on Riku. 

He should be listening. 

Listen, Cherry!

This was why he always failed. 

People try to help him, and what does he do?

Have increasingly homosexual thoughts about them. 

…

Fuck. 

LISTEN, CHERRY!

“Uh—Cherry?”

He blinked, coming back to reality, and stared back at Riku’s wide eyes. They were too close to his face, too intense, so Cherry looked away.

“What?” he snapped. 

Riku sighed. “Have you been listening?”

Cherry gulped. “No…”

Another sigh from Riku. “Fucking God, Cherry.”

“Sorry, sorry, I'll listen now, promise! I just get distracted too easily, sorry.”

“Dude, it's fine. Look—”

Cherry watched with wide eyes as Riku brought up a website, one with a colourful interface. “If you're not gonna study the normal way, then why don't we try this?”

His voice was softer now, and without the edge to it. Cherry was growing to like Rikus' voice. When it wasn’t yelling at him, that is. 

He clicked onto a link, his finger brushing against cherries, making his heart jump. It bothered the ginger how…chill Riku seemed about all this. As if it was perfectly normal, for two friends enemies to be pressed up against each other on a single chair, with Riku leaning against him and Cherry just trying not to blush. 

Maybe it was normal for Riku. 

Maybe he just didn’t get personal space. 

…

Maybe it was kinda strange that Cherry, who had more relationship experience, was the one getting butterflies over this. 

…

But then again, his previous relationships had all been with girls. 

…

And he had never really felt anything for them…

Fuck, was Cherry actually gay?!

Or bi or whatever?

He groaned inwardly. 

Fuck, he was, wasn’t he?

Oh god. Well—

He blushed further as Riku leaned into him a bit more, now trying to guess Cherry's password. 

This was the worst possible time to be having a sexuality crisis. 

“What's your password? I need to log into this website.” Cherry blinked. 

Almost laughed to himself.

Because there was no way that this idiot thought for a moment that Cherry would give up his password for an idiot like him—

“Password.”

Riku deadpanned. “No way you made your password password-”

“Wait, no—It’s ‘username’. 

Riku groaned as Cherry giggled. “God, you're an idiot.”

“Rude! What are you signing me up for again?” He asked. 

Cherry trusted Riku, for some reason, but he still wanted to know what he was doing on his computer. So far, he’d typed something into Google, clicked on a link and signed Cherry up for…uh… something. 

This was a totally safe and sound use of technology. 

The raven-haired humed. “This like…quiz website? My mum showed it to me ages ago, said if I really needed to study as much as I do—which I do—then I may as well have fun while I do it. I informed her that studying was fun.”

“—Phycopath—”

“—and that I didn’t need it. It's basically just a bunch of quizzes on different topics—”

“—Like voluntary tests?! Ugh—no thanks.”

“Eh, kinda, but it's got rewards and shit. So I guess that makes it a bit more interesting? Look, it's either this or proper studying, take your pick. 

He nudged Cherry's hand to the mouse with his own, and the ginger tried to ignore his pulse going up.

He sighed. “FINEEEE, but if this is lame, then I'm never studying with you again.”

“Fine by me.”

Cherry clicked on the link. 

>START GAME: SELECT GAME MODE: EASY, NORMAL (recommended), HARD.

Cherry immediately hit easy. He knew Riku didn’t give a shit about him, but part of him really didn't want to further disappoint him.

Which was…weird in itself, but Cherry decided to ignore it. 

The screen opened up to a sort of loading screen before the first question loaded in. Cherry found that he wasn’t really surprised to see it was a psych question, considering it was Riku and his only shared class. 

He was even less surprised when he realized he had no idea what the fuck to answer with. 

It was a multiple-choice question as well! The easiest kind! 

He bit his tough. He had to get this right. He could still feel Riku against him, leaning on his side slightly and seemingly distracted. 

He breathed out, squinting at the question as if it would suddenly right itself and make perfect sense, and Riku would look at him with those intense eyes and tell him he did well, and Cherry's heart would do inappropriate things and—

[INCORRECT]

He glared at the red flashing screen, his finger hovering over the wrong answer. It showed him the right answer, as if to taunt him. The deep, pressuring feeling in his gut returned, regret mixed with annoyance, but most of all disappointment. 

People seemed to like being disappointed in Cherry. 

His mum, his dad, teachers, Riku. Riku, most of all. 

And Riku’s disappointment was the worst because it made Cherry feel like he wasn’t enough. Like he wasn’t trying enough. 

Maybe if he worked himself half to death, as Riku did, then maybe the raven-haired would finally see him. 

…

He sighed because he knew how unhealthy that way of thinking was, and he knew it wouldn’t get him anywhere good.

He shouldn’t be this desperate for Riku’s approval. 

He really shouldn’t. 

His ‘enemy’ (though that word was starting to make Cherry feel weird inside) nudged him. “What's wrong with you?” His voice was sharp like always, but there was something…else this time. 

It was almost like he generally cared, like he cared about Cherry. 

He didn’t. 

He doesn't

You're just imagining things. 

Just fantasizing like the little creep you are. 

Freak.

Lock the fuck in, Cherry, at least try harder trying to impress him!

Try harder. 

Try harder. 

TRY HARDER!

HARDER!!

TRY—

“Uh, are you good, man? It’s only one incorrect question.”

Try harder. 

He sighed. “Ah—sorry. It's just…you went out of your way to show me this, and I STILL can't do it—”

Try harder. 

Riku elbowed him, harder this time. “I didn’t expect you to get it right.”

Try harder. 

“Ouch.” Cherry fake-winced, putting a hand to his forehead dramatically. “No need to be so negative!” He rejoiced in the small laugh from Riku it earned him. 

“No—like—ugh. I know I'm hard on you an’ everything.” He looked Cherry directly in his eyes, so intensely that it made him breathless. It made him feel seen, he realized, and he almost forgot what was happening, entirely lost in the depths of Riku’s eyes. 

“Look. I'm only as hard on you as I am myself, but I get that's not exactly pleasant, and—it's just a Blooket, dude. You're gonna get ‘em all wrong to start with, but the aim is that the repetitive nature of it will make you wanna memorize it, you know? It's year 12 psych. No one gets any of this shit till they've studied. K?”

Cherry blinked. At Rikus' face, without judgment. Ok, maybe there was a little judgment there, but nowhere near as much as he'd been fearing. 

He doesn’t hate you.

He took a shaky breath, nodding. 

It’s normal to get some wrong.

“...Ok.”

You just need to improve.

He clicked to the next question. 

That’s all that matters.

UGHHHHH

Cherry was learning that he hated whatever the fuck a ‘Blooket’ was meant to be. Not that the program itself was bad—because it really wasn’t. It was nice, interactive, and overall pretty well made. So maybe it was slightly unfair to be mad at the program when he knew full well that it was doing its job fine, and that, like always, Cherry was the problem. 

He couldn’t get a single question right. 

He would rack his brain and stare at the screen for way too long, because nothing seemed to make sense. Too many long words, god, his brain hurt. 

Most of all, he hated how unbothered Riku was by it. 

Maybe that was why he liked annoying Riku so much. He liked the way he looked when he was being petty, the cute attitude that he had. He liked trying to break through the unbotheredness the raven-haired constantly showcased. It felt like a win, like some twisted form of attention, any reaction he got from Riku. 

He hated disappointment. But at least disappointment meant that he expected Cherry to do good, that he knew Cherry could do good. 

But indifference?

Fuck, how he hated it. 

Riku just sat, now leaning his back against Cherry's, reading some book. Cherry thought it was a textbook, but knowing Riku, it could probably be William-fucking-Shakespear, and he could be reading it for fun. Whatever it was, he seemed pretty invested in it. Cherry would look over, and be caught off guard at just how...peaceful Riky looked, reading. The sunlight streamed in through the window, catching his hair and making him look near ethereal. The warm light cast him in a peaceful glow, his eyes ricocheting warm illumination around the room. They used to be so dark, Riku’s eyes, but now they just looked…magic. 

Like chrome. 

Cherry tilted his head, content to just…look at Riku. He wished Riku would look at him too. 

Pay attention to him. 

Tell him he’s doing ok. 

He didn’t, of course. 

He just scanned the words on his stupid book as Cherry got question after question wrong. 

He had the ‘incorrect’ message memorized off by heart, and yet for the life of him, he couldn’t get any questions right. His screen just kept flashing red, and he kept flinching, expecting for Riku to scold him on how he had to do better, like he always did. 

But he didn’t. 

He just kept reading his stupid fucking book and kept ignoring Cherry like it was his personal hobby, like it didn’t bother him. 

He just wanted…something. 

God, why was he so starving for attention?

What the fuck was wrong with him?

He sighed for the umpteenth time that day as he failed yet another one in four chance of success. 

“UGH!” He groaned, slamming his head on the computer. He felt limp, almost as bad as real studying. Why was he even doing this again? Because some guy decided he had ADHD and it would be beneficial?!

…

Riku was probably right, though. 

Riku was always right, it seemed.

…

There was a difference, with this ‘study’ method, though. 

He wasn’t restless. He wasn’t fidgeting, he wasn't daydreaming, he wasn’t crawling out of his skin. 

..

He was just frustrated at getting the questions wrong. 

He never got frustrated this other time he studied. Only got annoyed and tired at the action of studying. 

Here? All he felt was a need to do better. 

A need for Riku to lean over and tell him he’s doing good. Ok. That he’d gonna do good. 

…

He wanted to do good for Riku. 

…

God, what the fuck was happening to him?

Cherry blinked as he felt the chair shift under him, and then, abruptly, Riku was turning around to face Cherry's computer, hand hovering over the gingers.

Cherry gulped. 

“Uh—you good?”

Riku blinked, his face unreadable as always. “Yeah. Just checking how you did.”

Cherry's stomach fell. 

This was the part where Riku would finally give up. He would open his eyes and see that Cherry was hopeless, and he would give up, because who would want to tutor a person who couldn’t even get one multiple-choice question right?!

It was stupid to think that Riku would think differently. He knew the raven-haired didn’t care about him. 

He shifted a bit closer, examining the incorrect answers. 

Cherry tried to enjoy the contact, because he wasn’t sure he would ever experience it again. Riku was so comfortable, and Cherry wished he could just close his eyes and fall asleep here, and that Riku would stay with him and give him attention and-

UGH. 

Stop fantasizing about impossible scenarios!

You know full well what's going to happen. 

He’s going to say that Cherry wasn't good enough, and Cherry would agree because Riku was always right and Cherry was always wrong. It was a fact, established. He was just lucky he had volleyball, because without it, he was convinced that nothing made him special, and Riku knew it as well and—

“This is actually better than before, I guess.”

Uh. 

What?

Cherry’s breath hitched. 

What?

“Huh?”

“I mean, like, yeah, you got them all wrong, but still. You got through, like, 40 questions without getting distracted. That's a significant improvement. Further, you also seem to be trying to improve. That will get you places, you know, more places than giftedness, so yeah. Not bad, Ambrose.” 

WHAT?

Cherry bit his tough.

Did…did he hear that right?

He felt his stomach do a flip, stirring over the words that Riku said like they were the gospel. 

He…he did good?

Like Riku's standards good?

And—

Ah.

Riku was looking at him like…like that again. The look that said ‘yes, Cherry, you did do well’ and ‘I couldn’t have done this without you’. The one that filled him with a strange sense of pride and accomplishment, that made it all seem worth it. 

God, his eyes were so intense. 

They made Cherry’s tummy do funny flips, and made him wonder what the fuck was happening to him. 

Or, more like, how long until Cherry admitted he knew what was happening. 

Butterflies. Fucking butterflies, all from a single half-compliment. 

God, he was so down bad, wasn’t he?. 

“You right?” 

UGh

It was no fair, that he got to be so calm and normal while Cherry felt like his insides were on fire at the simple contact between them. 

No fair that he got to show genuine concern, and no fair that Cherry’s heart had decided that genuine concern was now his second-favourite Riku-emotion. 

“Yeah, I'm fine,” he managed to choke out, hoping the other wouldn’t notice the way he was sure his ears were so flushed. 

“Kay. You gotta go now, though. As much as I love having you here—which isn’t very much—I kinda do want my chair back. So—”

“Oh, right- sorry, sorry.”

“Dude, it's chill. Just git—”

“Okok.” He laughed despite himself. It was easiest to laugh a lot of the time. Besides, he liked being happy anyway. 

Pushing himself out of the chair, he grabbed his computer and tried to hide his self-disappointment. It slithered in his stomach like poison. Because it wasn’t even Riku this time, that had made him dislike himself. Maybe it was never Riku, maybe it was just easier to say it was all his fault and not confront the real issue.

The problem.

It was him. 

His fault. 

Riku complimented him. Sorta. 

He didn’t deserve it. 

It felt like a pity compliment. 

You got them all wrong. 

It wasn’t a real compliment. 

He pities you. 

He thinks down on you. 

You hate yourself?

He does too. 

Does he?

Yes, he does. 

He has to. 

You wouldn’t blame him, because you'd hate yourself as well. 

Fair’s fair. 

Isn’t it, Cherry?

You're not smart. It'd be unfair to Riku if you got a C because you couldn’t carry your own goddamn weight. 

It's not his responsibility to take care of you. 

Why do you make him?

Why do you let him?

Why do you care about him?

He doesn't care about you. 

He can’t. 

“Oh—Cher?” He blinked. The room blurred back into focus, Riku looking at him with no hatred. This once. He looked back, somewhat uncertain but not going to show it. 

The room suddenly felt too crowded. 

“Yeah?”

Riku called you ‘Cher’. 

Nickname. 

People who are friends have nicknames, right?

Were they friends?

Why was Riku so confusing? He did everything he could to try to build their friendship, and all he got was inconsistency. Sometimes Riku was nice, sometimes he looked at Cherry with admiration in his eyes and told him he did good, others he only got scowls and ‘everything is your fault’. 

He just wanted to know. Some clarity. 

Was that too much to ask Riku for?

“You good?”

He scowled. You don’t get to ask those questions. You don't get to care if you're not going to commit. 

“Fine.”

“Kay, good. You got your stuff?”

“Yuh! Sorry for bothering you, heh…”

“Hm? Nah, you're fine, dude. Don't really mind you all that much anymore, to be honest.” Riku said, ushering him out of his room. 

“Oh…thanks?” 

Acceptance. 

God, that felt so good. 

Too good. 

UGH. Fucking butterflies again?! Get your shit together, Cher—

They walked down his house to the front door. 

“Oh, and Cherry?”

Riku looked at him, both on different sides of the door now. He leaned against the pane, his oversized jumper looking particularly comfortable. Had Riku always been this pretty? Maybe. 

Maybe Cherry had always noticed. 

Maybe he had always been jealous. 

Riku had good grades, smarts, looks, everything. Riku had shelves lined with rewards and a mother who complimented him on everything, Riku had a dozen opportunities to date someone, but never seemed to because he was just so mature. Riku, whom Cherry knew almost better than himself, though he never viewed that as a good thing. Riku, who painted his nails because it stopped him picking them, Riku, who feared his dad and hated Cherry's loudness. 

He didn’t like Riku. 

He couldn’t. 

Riku had just always been…there. At the back of his mind, at the side of his life. Friends by association, because of-fucking-course their mums just had to have their sons become besties. 

And of course, Riku had to make himself the most insufferable, annoying, hypocritical, stunning, intense person Cherry had ever met. 

Who wouldn’t be jealous?

After all, he was just Cherry. ‘Had nothing to name but volleyball, Cherry’, nothing but Theo and his other friends. ‘Cherry, who failed almost every class, Cherry who was with a new girl every other week, Cherry who never got acknowledgement from his own parents, at least, not the way Riku did.’

And why should he? He had done nothing to be praised. 

Stop being ungrateful, dumbass. 

Maybe that's where his hatred for Riku stemmed. 

Jealousy. 

Cherry's least favourite feeling, yet one he seemed to experience again and again and again. Jealous of Riku. Jealous of Charlotte for being close with Riku. 

He looked at the teen. He looked so peaceful, that Chery was walking out of his house. Or, maybe Riku always looked like that. 

Stunning. 

“Yeah? Wassup?”

Riku raised an eyebrow. "Which branch of the nervous system is responsible for regulating unconscious, bodily functions such as heart rate, breathing, and sweating?"

…oh. 

Of course, he’s going to fucking quiz me after the study session is over.

The world seemed to still. 

Cherry's world seemed to still, which was weird enough on its own, considering it was Cherry. 

Riku was looking at him like that again.

Expecting. 

Cherry's throat went dry. 

You need to get this right. 

Else all of that ‘studying’ had been for nothing, and he was still useless.

The question ran out in his brain. 

Echoing. It was taunting him. It was laughing in his face like it was so obvious.

He gulped. Riku was still looking at him like that. 

So intense it made his mouth impossibly dry. 

He had to get it right. 

“Um..”

His brain flashed back to that godforsaken Booklet, but all he could remember was red incorrect screens.

What was the answer? How was he supposed to know?

The question ran in his mind again and again and again. 

“Which branch of the nervous system is responsible for regulating unconscious, bodily functions such as heart rate, breathing, and sweating?"

“Which branch of the nervous system is responsible for regulating unconscious, bodily functions such as heart rate, breathing, and sweating?"

“Which branch of the nervous system is responsible for regulating unconscious, bodily functions such as heart rate, breathing, and sweating?"

“Which branch of the nervous system is responsible for regulating unconscious, bodily functions such as heart rate, breathing, and sweating?"

Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncome…

Come on, cherry. Do something useful in your pathetic life for once—

“Ah, it's all good if you don't know, it's a tough question…”

No.

NO!

He would get it!

He had to!

“Ugh—Gimme a secccc—”

“Uh…sure…?”

Come on, Cherry! Think! Had it been in that Blooket?

Yes, yes, it had. He remembered the wording, remembered staring at it for an impossible time, before finally booking it, only for his screen to flash red and tell him that no, the correct answer was—

Was…

..

THAT'S IT!

Cherry yelled excitedly: “The autonomic nervous system!"

…

Silence. For a full second. A full, singular second of Cherry panicking that he probably got it wrong, because of course he would, and that Riku would be even more disappointed and—

“Oh my god, you got it right!” Riku gushed, excitedly. He looked…so happy.

So proud. His hair shook gracefully as he giggled. 

Unfair he got to be so breathtaking. 

Cherry was speechless. 

He….he got it?

“I…did…?”

“YES! Dude—that was like, a hard-ish question!”

God, Riku’s smile. He barely ever smiled, much less so at Cherry, but when he did, the universe seemed to pause. The thought that Cherry had been the one to cause him to be so happy left him breathless, like his thoughts were dry and his head empty.

“R-Really?” His voice shook, as much as he hated it, he couldn’t find it in himself to operate properly.

“Yeah! I mean—don't get me wrong. You're gonna have a lot of catching up to do. But. If you keep going at this rate…we’ll really be an equally contributing team, huh?”

Equally contributing. 

…

You're not a burden. 

Riku doesn't find you a burden. 

Riku doesn't think you're holding him down. 

He thinks less of you. 

He thinks you can improve.

That look on his face, his utter pride in Cherry, it took his words away. His brain felt all light and fuzzy, an ecstasy he thought he would only experience through winning volleyball games. 

Winning Riku’s praise felt better than winning any volleyball game.

Riku was looking at him again, with those expectant eyes. 

Gah, you're daydreaming again!

“Oh,” was all he managed to mutter, his eyes landing on his feet. They were still widened, his ears still ringing with the heavy thumping of his heart, and his face still felt hot. 

“Mm, so yeah. Good job, dude.” 

The warmth from his cheeks spread all through his body, a sticky infection until he felt heat in his own skin, and his heart beat even quicker to keep up. 

What the fuck is happening to him?

He gulped. 

Pull yourself together, Cherry….

….

“Kay, are you gonna get out of my house now or just hang around like a bad smell—”

“OKOK I'm going, JEEZ”. He tried to laugh it off, because after all, he was Cherry—the guy never frazzled by flirting, never caring about girls or love or crushes, just the chill, easy-going guy that was definitely not having a crisis. Nuh uh. He turned on his heels and sped walking to the nearest exit. His books and shit hung in a bag under his arm, a constant weight and reminder that he needed to catch up.

“Bye, idiot.”

“Later, jerk.”

He heard the door close behind the raven-haired and breathed a sigh of relief. That—whatever that was—was over.

It was not over. 

It was not over when his heart didn’t stop slowing down as he walked to his car. 

It was not over when Riku’s voice played over and over in his head as he drove home. 

It was definitely not over when he got home, when he turned down an offer from Theo to play some bedwars, and it was the least over when he found himself at his desk. 

Not gaming. Not doodling. 

Studying. 

Studying, for fucks sake. In his free time. Without homework assigned, just generally doing studying of his own free will. 

He could still hear Riku’s voice in his head as he opened up the Blooket. For whatever reason, it gave him a strange motivation. 

It made him cancel gaming with Theo, all for what?

For Riku’s smile. Riku’s praise. 

It made him shudder just thinking about it. 

If Riku telling him he did good once impacted him this much, how would he feel if Riku complimented him on getting all the questions right?

He gulped, quickly hitting ‘GO’ on the stupid Blooket.

Took a deep breath. 

Focus, Cherry. 

For Riku. 

The thing about studying, Cherry discovered, was that it sucked.

Sucked ass.

This was not new information.

What was new information was that apparently, it sucked significantly less when he had an actual reason to do it.

The first night, he made it through another twenty questions before rage-quitting. Before the red screens got too much and he could no longer think, and he thought he might actually die if he didn’t go for a run.

The second night, he decided to have movement breaks every 10 minutes, so that he wouldn’t get so restless. He made it through forty questions.

Double. 

The third night, he accidentally stayed up until one in the morning. Given he got back from volleyball at 10 pm, for some reason, and spent too much time babysitting Chloe- but still.

It didn’t make it any less awkward trying to explain to Theo why he looked like the living dead the next day. 

That one was entirely Riku's fault.

Cherry sat cross-legged at his desk, illuminated only by the glow of his laptop screen. The Blooket flashed green. It was…what, 6 pm? Not too late. They’d won the volleyball game in a landslide, and Cherry was going to celebrate by getting some hot chips.

But then Riku had to take the egg, and then he just had to ask Cherry how he was doing with studying and well—

[CORRECT]

He grinned despite himself.

Then immediately scowled.

Because it wasn't impressive.

It was literally one question.

One singular question.

Any idiot could answer one singular question.

Even you.

He clicked next.

The next answer flashed red.

Cherry groaned dramatically and dropped his forehead onto the desk.

"Fucking knew it."

The Blooket didn't care.

It simply informed him that he was wrong and continued existing.

Rude.

The questions got easier eventually.

Or maybe he got better.

Cherry wasn't entirely sure.

He started recognizing words.

Recognizing concepts.

Recognizing answers before the multiple-choice options even appeared.

It felt strange.

Like finding a hidden level in a game he'd been convinced was impossible.

The first time he got ten correct in a row, he stared at the screen for a full thirty seconds.

Then took a screenshot.

Not because he was proud.

Obviously.

He just wanted proof.

In case the website changed its mind later.

The worst part was that it worked.

The genuinely offensive part.

The part Cherry hated most.

Riku had been right.

Again.

Because, of course, he had been, it was Riku after all. The guy is basically allergic to being wrong.

Cherry was beginning to suspect Riku survived purely out of spite and being correct.

Every green flash of the screen felt like confirmation.

Every remembered definition.

Every question he got right.

Every tiny improvement.

Riku had looked at him and gone:

"Yeah, I think you can do this."

And somehow that had mattered more than every teacher he'd ever had.

Cherry hated that.

He really, really did.

By the end of the week, the Blooket flashed green again.

[CORRECT]

And then again.

[CORRECT]

And again.

[CORRECT]

Cherry blinked.

Checked the corner.

Twenty-two streak.

[CORRECT]

Twenty-three.

His stomach flipped.

Not with panic this time.

Something else.

Something warmer.

Something dangerous.

Because for a moment—

Just a moment—

He imagined Riku seeing it.

Imagined those stupid, intense eyes widening.

Imagined that rare smile.

Imagined hearing:

"See? Told you."

Cherry immediately closed the laptop.

Absolutely not.

Nope.

He was not studying because he wanted Riku Aoki to be proud of him.

That would be pathetic.

Completely pathetic.

...

He reopened the laptop thirty seconds later.

Just to do one more quiz.

Riku hadn’t even seen him studying yet. 

That was perhaps the worst part. 

The fact that he was doing all of this for a maybe smile. A maybe compliment. A maybe ‘I’m proud of you, Cherry.’

The fact that Riku could just as easily look him in the eye and tell him that it wasn’t enough, that, like the jerk he was, Riku could just call him a delinquent and move on with life. 

For him, it would be nothing. 

It should mean nothing for Cherry as well. 

…

Keyword: should.

For Cherry, it would mean everything was for nothing. That he could never impress Riku. That he was hopeless. 

UGH. 

“Idiot”, he grunted, throwing the phone somewhere in the middle of his discarded clothes. Stupid Riku and his stupid insults, acting like he couldn’t affect Cherry. Acting like the world revolves around him, and if anyone got bothered by it, then it's their fault. 

He wished he didn’t care what Riku thought. 

He really did. 

Maybe he was just kind and considerate like that, though those words were probably as alien to Riku’s vocabulary as ‘neurotransmitter glutamate' was to Cherry, or any of the other technical jib-jab sent his way. So what if Cherry just wanted other people to like him? 

Didn’t mean anything. Just that he had morally higher ground than that jerk. 

[DING!] his phone flashed. 

He was there in an instant. Way too fast, for someone apparently angry at Riku. 

Cherry was just too good to hold a grudge, he reasoned. 

Much better than Riku….

Scowl-face: yo

Scowl-face: uh. I forgot that my mum was forcing me to tutor ur dumbarese.

Scowl-face: u free?

He blinked at the screen. 

He should say no. It was stupid that Riku just got to message him at whatever-time-it-was-o-clock, not even considering the fact that he might have volleyball, and just expect him to—

You: sure dude. 

You: ur house or mine?

No, idiot, you're not free. Your suppsoed to be babysitting Chloe. Come on, Cherry—

You: wait, no sry. Gotta baby sit chlo.

Scowl-face: oh k. Alg, but i dont want mum to contact dad to say im not doing what she says cuz yk. 

You: ugh ye. F ur dad. 

Scowl-face: thought u weren’t gay.

You: 🖕 

You: F ur dad in the least sexual way possible. He sucks ass.

Scowl-face: *youd* know.

Scowl-face: 🤨🏳️‍🌈😏

You: I SAID IN THE LEAST SEXUAL WAY POSSIBLE

You: asswhole.

Scowl-face: *asshole.

You: LKWEHDQIUWHDQISUH#JN

You: BITCH

You: Smartass

Scowl-face: petty. K cya spoon

You: DONT U GO OFFLINE NOW

[Scowl-face is offline.]

You: COWARD

[Scowl-face is online.]

You: What do u have to say for urself?

Scowl-face: >

| Scowl-face: petty. K Cya spoon

|

Scowl-face: *soon sry.

[Scowl-face is offline]

You: f u. 

[Scowl-face is online]

Scowl-face: nah

Scowl-face: as i said, ur not my type.

Scowl-face: also thought u were straight ngl

Scowl-face: 🤨🏳️‍🌈

[jerk is offline]

You: i am legetimately going to kill you. 

[Scowl-face is online]

Scowl-face: wait. 

Scowl-face: i still gotta tutor u. 

Scowl-face: cuz yk. My dad. 

You: Ye Ur dad. 

Scowl-face: 🏳️‍🌈

You: 🙄

Scowl-face: alr ill have to quiz u here. That good?

You: uh sure.

Scowl-face: wait you could just google the asnwer,...

You: i wont.

Scowl-face: dont trust u. Get on call. 

You: wha-

SCOWL-FACE IS VIDEO CALLING.

Cherry stared at the notification.

Then at his Blooket.

Then back at the notification.

Then back at the Blooket.

Then back at—

His phone buzzed again.

And again.

And again.

"Oh, my god."

He accepted the call.

Riku's face immediately filled the screen.

"What?"

"Don't want you to cheat."

Cherry gasped dramatically.

"You'd think that of me? I'm hurt."

"Yes."

A pause.

"And Oh no, I hurt you? good."

"Bitch."

"K. First question."

Cherry groaned, letting his head fall back against his chair.

"Are we really doing this?"

"Were you doing anything better?"

"I was gaming—"

"No then."

"FINE."

Riku smirked.

Cherry hated that smirk.

Mostly because it made him want to keep talking.

"Question one."

Cherry braced himself.

"Describe the role of the neurotransmitter glutamate in long-term potentiation"

He frowned.

Normally, hearing a psychology question felt like being hit in the face with a brick.

This one felt...

Familiar.

Like he'd seen it before.

Like maybe—

"Uh..."

Come on.

Think.

The answer floated somewhere in his brain.

Just out of reach.

"...uhh is it the primary—uhm—excitatory neurotransmitter in the brain that facilitates learning and memory formation...?"

Silence.

Cherry immediately regretted everything.

"Oh god, that was wrong, wasn't it?"

"..."

"What?"

"Correct."

Cherry blinked.

Riku blinked.

"...good job."

His stomach did a weird little flip.

"Th-thanks."

God.

He was pathetic.

One compliment.

One singular compliment.

And suddenly he felt like he'd won a volleyball grand final.

Riku cleared his throat.

"Question two."

"Hit me."

“Okay-”

“With the question. Jerk”

"Hah. Which neurotransmitter is primarily associated with feelings of reward and motivation?"

This one came easier.

Cherry barely even had to think.

"Is it dopamine?"

Riku paused.

"...yes."

Cherry grinned.

"YES!"

"Don't celebrate yet."

"No. Shut up. Let me have this."

"Question three. What is the process of maintaining information in memory through repetition called?"

"Rehearsal"

Riku's eyebrows twitched upward.

Cherry noticed.

And immediately wanted more.

"Question four."

"[psych question.]"

"[correct answer.]"

"Question five. According to the Atkinson-Shiffrin model, information must pass through which memory stores in order?"

"Sensory, short-term, long-term?"

Silence.

Cherry waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"...hold up."

Uh oh.

That tone.

That was a Riku tone.

"What?"

"Have you been studying?"

Cherry paused.

"You can tell?"

"Dude."

Riku leaned closer to the camera.

"You haven't gotten ONE of these wrong."

Cherry blinked.

"I haven't?"

"NO!"

Riku actually looked offended.

"Oh my god."

Cherry laughed.

Never in his life had he seen someone look so personally attacked by academic improvement.

"Oh my god," Riku repeated. "Never have I ever thought I'd see the day Cherry Artiri gets good at psych."

"Bitch."

Riku snorted.

Then he smiled.

Not the smug smile.

Not the rival smile.

The real one.

The one Cherry only got every now and then.

"Hah. But seriously."

His voice softened.

And Cherry's stomach immediately prepared to betray him.

"Good job."

The words hit harder than they should have.

"This is—"

Riku shook his head.

"Dude. You're gonna pass."

Cherry sat upright.

"You think?!"

"Hundred percent."

"FUCK YEAH!"

He punched the air.

"TAKE THAT, STUDYING!"

Riku squinted.

"...eighty percent."

Cherry pointed aggressively at the screen.

"LET ME HAVE THIS."

"I'm trying."

"No you're not."

"I'm really not."

"Jerk."

"Question six."

"Nah, screw question six. Did you actually mean that?"

Riku blinked.

"What?"

"The passing thing."

"...yes?"

"And the good job thing?"

"...yes?"

"And—"

Cherry swallowed.

The next question slipped out before he could stop it.

"Do you actually think I did good?"

The laughter disappeared.

Not completely.

Just enough.

Riku looked at him for a second.

Actually looked at him.

Like he was thinking about the answer.

Like it mattered.

"Yeah."

Cherry's heart stuttered.

"Yeah," Riku repeated. "As unexpected as it was."

"Rude."

"As unexpected as it was," he continued, ignoring him, "you actually locked in for once in your life."

"Ruder."

"And it got you somewhere."

Riku smiled again.

Smaller this time.

Real.

"Good job, dude."

Cherry forgot how breathing worked.

"You impressed me."

...

...

…

WAIT.

HE…

IMPRESSED RIKU???

Riku?

THE RIKU???

THE ONE WHO TREATED A MINUS MARK LIKE A PERSONAL TRAGEDY???

Cherry could physically feel his brain short-circuiting.

His face burned.

His ears burned.

His entire body burned.

HOLY SHIT.

"Oh. Uh. R-right."

Riku frowned.

"You good?"

"Nope."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Cherry—"

"Oh my god, I think Chloe's calling me."

"What?"

"YEAH ANYWAY BYE."

"Cherry—"

He hung up.

Immediately.

Silence.

Cherry stared at his reflection in the black phone screen.

Then buried his face in his hands.

"Fuuuuuuuck."

Because the worst part wasn't that Riku thought he was smart.

The worst part wasn't that Riku was proud of him.

The worst part wasn't even that he'd spent a week studying psychology voluntarily.

The worst part was that hearing Riku say:

"You impressed me."

had felt better than literally anything else.

He flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling/

God. What the fuck was happening to him?

He looked from his booklet to his notes to the way his heart was beating too quickly. 

For Riku. 

FOR FUCKING RIKU!

…

God, he was so fucking screwed.