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It’s a warm, Saturday afternoon, the kind that’s slow, relaxed, work free. Christopher has a group project to finish with one of his friends. Eddie had dropped him off before coming over, so Buck offered to fetch him after he picked up his groceries.
Eddie is on Theo watch, because shopping is easier without a mini tornado ripping through the isles.
They’re both on the couch, Eddie in the middle and Theo in all the empty spaces around him.
Bright, dancing numbers do random flips while singing a counting song. Theo is singing along, rolling off Eddie’s limbs and torso, attempting to do the same.
On number five, tired little legs miss Eddie’s thigh and land in the gap between seats, pitching his body forward.
“Careful.” He catches Theo by his t shirt just before he flies off the armrest and hauls him back into his chest.
Theo pushes a hand through his hair, giggling. “You caught me! Eddie bear, you caught me!”
Eddie smiles at the breathless, happy sound that fills his heart. “I’ll always catch you, mijo.” He promises.
Theo twists in his arms and then settles for a minute when Eddie starts to speak again. “But-you can’t just throw yourself off something without looking. You’ve gotta watch where you’re going cos if you’re not careful, you could get yourself or someone else hurt.” He boops his nose with his index finger and snorts when Theo squints at it.
“Buck and Chris will be sad?”
“Very sad.” Eddie nods seriously.
“You too?” Theo places his hand on Eddie’s cheek and stares at him questioningly.
“Me too. I don’t like seeing any of my boys hurt.” Eddie says, kissing the top of his head. Theo smiles, sweet and innocent.
…And forgets in the next minute.
Number seven leaps up, skips and flips over number six. Eight sings louder, Theo mouths the words, fingers hop hopping from Eddie’s cheek, down his arm.
Tiny fists close around his hand and forces his fingers to dance along too. His face is so serious, forehead scrunched and lips forming tuneless words. It makes Eddie huff a laugh at the ridiculousness on his lap, and the one on screen.
He remembers Christopher at this age. Small, cuddly, singing along to the TV while he colored outside the lines, glasses askew but smile intact. Theo, for all he has been through, is a smiley little kid too. Just like Chris, he’s bubbly and funny and full of questions. They’ve both been through hell, but just looking at them smile makes Eddie’s heart soar. They’re miracles, both of them.
Survivors.
Theo giggles at Eddie’s ‘Oof’, when he bends his wrist too far back, and then he slowly starts to bounce again. He slips down Eddie’s legs like he’s on a slide and turns to scramble up again, ready to use his knees as a solid base to jump off.
And he does.
Without warning.
And barely manages to avoid knocking into Eddie’s head.
He hits the back of the couch with his forehead, lightly, Eddie having moved forward so he doesn’t get the full impact.
“Cars! Red car, blue car, green car, yellow!” Theo squeals without missing a beat, sliding down his legs again to scoop his tiny cars together and sort them by colors, just like on TV. Thank goodness the number song is over. Cars should be less…dangerous.
It isn’t. Red car is tossed over the table, its wheels skittering across the tiles, blue car rolls under the couch, yellow car was a mistake because it should have been green, and Theo spends a few minutes scolding it for jumping the line while stretching out on his belly to get blue car back from the underground parking garage, aka, couch.
Eddie laughs out loud again. Theo’s such a funny little fellow. He tells him so and Theo laughs along with him, eyes sparkling.
He cannot for the life of him understand the mind of a four year old. He didn’t back then, doesn’t now. But has to admit its fun to observe how they just bounce around from mood to mood, find things to do and then decide the order in which it needs to be done.
There’s no reasoning behind it, other than because they want to. Eddie loves that they want. That they’re brave enough to take. It shows they’re not afraid. Eddie doesn’t remember ever wanting or taking anything, because of the judgment and fear that followed. Buck only ever wanted love and family, and he’s only become brave enough to take it now…he brought home Theo, fear be damned.
He untangles the back wheels of the yellow car from Theo’s head.
“You can’t drive off road in a car buddy.” He grins, handing him the toy.
“What will I drive in?” he wonders, then lights up when Eddie shrugs but looks towards his truck.
“This one!” He dives for the little truck that only matches Eddie’s in color and whooshes it on the table, then aims for Eddie. This time he untangles it from his own hair, Theo laughing so hard he has to hold his tummy.
“We need Buck’s Jeep now!” Theo laughs heartily. But only his head is soooo big to drive it on!”
Eddie snorts, then chuckles. “I think you’ll be safest driving on Mario Kart.”
“Mario Kart with Chris! I love Chris!” Theo yells, spinning with his arms in the air.
Theo starts chattering about having a sleepover later. They’ll build a blanket fort on the floor where they can all share snacks and cuddle and watch movies and Buck will make them breakfast in the morning, and bake some chocolate chip cookies…
Eddie had his last blanket fort as a kid built at 6. Then he got a little sister, and mom needed the space so she wouldn’t trip with the baby in her arms. The next sister followed at ten, when he’d become the man of the house, and he’d only every built them for others since he was first asked not to.
Eddie’s happy their kids won’t face those kind of roadblocks, not with him and Buck keeping guard so no one takes advantage of them or breaks them in ways they cannot repair. They’ll always have a place to land safely.
They’re so free and unbothered, but also trusting and reliant on the adult in charge. Eddie realized early on with Christopher, that kids grow with what you feed them. And its not just food.
They learn from example, take your reaction and reply with an action. If you give them support they bloom. When you’re mad, they hide. Sensitive to everything, its like they absorb parts of the people who surround them. And the love they give you is beautiful and limitless.
He feels satisfied with life now. More than he ever did before. Especially when he looks at their kids. Chris, who matches Eddie’s sarcasm and grins like the devil, has Buck’s eyes and hair, his endless curiosity and wit, often getting mistaken for his kid, and Theo, with who Chris bonded so quickly with and took under his wing, that the kid looks at him like he personally put up stars in the sky.
Theo who smiles like Buck, open and sweet, answers like Chris, funny and snarky and, he noticed only after Buck mentioned it, acts like Eddie.
Eddie is mind blown, that in this little time, he made some sort of impact on the kid he loves with his whole heart, just like his own son had with Buck.
Theo will stick his hands in his pocket, contemplate what’s next with his chin tilted up, and take slow, easy steps that imitate Eddie’s gait. He stacks his snacks in little rows and eats his cookies dunked in plain milk. Wears his Spiderman watch on his right wrist and insists that pineapple does not belong on pizza.
Its a lot of similarities.
Eddie lives to see it.
The song changes to fruit and Theo asks for some juice.
Apple, because its flying on a plate on screen with a hat and a stick, apparently tap dancing?
Theo is doing the dance too, feet pattering uncoordinated making him look like a tiny drunk, Happy Feet meets Scatman. By the time he comes back with the juice 30 seconds later, the banana is singing a smoothie song and Theo is pulling himself across the small table on his back because he’s a smoothie too.
One hand closes on both his ankles before Theo drops off the end. He sits up, hops off the side and does a few laps around Eddie, then skips over the small rug and skates across the tiles in his socks.
Eddie tiredly remembers that Christopher was much less rambunctious at that age, and also, maybe, he was a whole lot younger back then too. He makes another grab for the demon on tiny legs who slams into Eddie’s hip before coming to a stop, grinning. Theo takes the juice from his hand and gives him a hug.
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” He ruffles his fluffy head and smiles down at him. One sip later he’s ready to run. Eddie holds him back gently, hand on his shoulder.
“Ok, what did I just tell you about being careful?”
Theo looks up at him and takes the straw with, between his teeth. Eddie tugs it back and shakes his head when Theo dips a toe on a spot of juice on the floor and wipes his sticky face with his sleeve.
Theo gives him a breathless laugh while he waits for Eddie to stick the straw in again and says, eyes squinted and smile huge, “Look so I don’t get hurt.” He finishes proudly and slurps more juice.
Eddie glances up at the clock, wondering if he should get started on dinner prep. Buck and Chris should be back in the next half hour so maybe a sn…
Eddie doesn’t finish the thought. Theo starfishes and takes a big jump, box in a loose fist that’s holding on too tight.
Liquid apple shoots out through the straw. Theo steps smack in the middle of it, slips and starts to topple. If he makes that landing, there’s gonna be tears.
Eddie dives forward to catch him without thinking. He barely straightens, when the ground beneath him moves.
Too late, he remembers the little red car that went over the table, feels it glide under his socked foot, taking him with down it. Arms closing firmly around Theo so he doesn’t come loose, he hits the ground hard. His head bounces off the tile with a thundering crack.
Eddie is momentarily stunned, but he tightens his hold around the silent little boy, instinct begging him to check that he’s safe, even as he feels all the air whoosh out of his chest.
Ears ringing, it takes a moment before pain explodes through his skull.
His vision whites out, darkens. Eddie tastes blood on his tongue. Then he hears a piercing scream.
Wrong.
Too close, too fearful, too loud.
Adrenaline spikes, and sends him careening into nothing.
THEO:
Theo loves Buck. He didn’t at first because he was a poopy, but he does now. Buck takes care of him. He brings him all his favorite things from the store and he got him new clothes and toys. He lives here now because mommy and daddy are gone and they can’t back from Heaven.
Buck reads to him and makes him pancakes. And Buck brought him family. Miss Lily at the kindergarten said that family is parents and sib…links? Family means brothers and sisters and moms and dads.
Buck brought him those. And now he also loves Chris and he loves his Eddie bear. Because they made his family. Buck and Eddie are the dads, and Chris is his brother. He draws them together every day and sometimes when he brings his pictures home, Buck pins it to the fridge with magnets. Eddie bear has some at his home too. And Chris keep a few in his room. Chris also doesn’t have a mom. So two dads will do.
Sometimes Eddie and Chris stay over for sleepovers and sometimes he and Buck go there. They have pizza and movies. He and Eddie share one without the yucky pineapple and Buck and Chris the other. Ew…
And he and Chris play videogames. He loves that too because its so much fun.
But Theo wants them all to be together, all the time. When they’re not working, they should be at home with him and Chris. Here.
Chris said it would be a good idea. Theo doesn’t know what ideas are and where to get them from. If he knew how to make it happen, he would make Buck adopt them both like he did Theo.
Maybe that is an idea?
Because Buck is Buck, but it’s lonely when it’s just them. The house feels less. Chris makes him laugh. Eddie and Buck make him feel safe. And they all love him together. He feels full of it. And he feels like he belongs. So they all can belong together.
Today, he’s having fun with his Eddie bear while Buck goes to fetch Chris. Eddie is funny and he’s cuddly and he gives him lots of hugs. Theo likes his voice and likes his laugh. So he likes to chatter with him and do silly things so he can hear it more.
Buck says that Eddie indungeons him too much. Theo doesn’t know what it means but he gets what he wants most times. Chris thinks its funny.
Eddie is laughing a lot today. He also told him to be careful but sometimes he forgets. Theo also loves the box juices Buck and Eddie bring him. So when he feels thirsty, he asks for apple flavored and Eddie goes to fetch it.
Now he will match the apple on TV so he does the apple dance until his Eddie bear comes back.
He didn’t mean to drop any. One second he’s falling, and the next Eddie catches him.
Eddie bear said that he will always catch him. Arms go around him and hold him close. Theo is not scared as he flies backwards into those safe arms and a warm, comforting chest. But then there’s a sound like a crack. And he hears an oomph and a groan and by the time he turns, the arms start to fall away.
Eddie bear is on his back.
Theo sits up on his belly and gasps loudly, still a little confused as to what happened to him and why when he sees red around Eddie’s head. He drops his juice box and feels his chest tighten. His eyes grow wide.
Eddie bear's eyes are rolling up up up. Theo grabs his hand from the floor and its floppy like a bunny ear. His eyes are still moving but it looks weird. The red is getting bigger. Theo has to look closely to make sure its not the same color as his juice.
It isn’t.
The juice is light, and this is dark.
Theo’s stomach turns. He knows that smell. Bad things happen when there’s red that smells like that.
The red is blood. Around his Eddie bear, is blood.
Buck said a little is ok. Like when he scrapes his knee.
A lot isn’t.
A lot of blood is bad.
Theo screams. Eddie bear makes a scary sound and goes still.
Theo rolls off him and kneels near the blood. He pats a cheek. Picks at his eyelid. Pulls his lip down.
Theo’s breaths are short and panicky because Eddie bear does not wake up with a Boo! He does not move. Or smile. Or look at him. He’s quiet, and still, like sleeping. But the blood…
Breathing faster, he pats him again.
Nothing.
‘Eddie bear?” voice wobbling, chest heaving, he tries again and again.
“Wake up. Wake UP! YOU IN THE BLOOD!’
But Eddie doesn’t listen.
Theo feels his eyes well up, big fat years roll down his cheeks. He screams louder for him to wake up but Eddie is still. He just lays there, quiet.
Theo remembers him and Buck teaching him how to use the phone for ‘mergencies.
He crawls through the red, dragging it across the floor in two long, uneven stripes. He doesn’t stand or run so he doesn’t slip again. Eddie bear said to be careful. Theo wasn’t careful. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with Eddie bear, but he has to call Buck for help.
Between tears, snot and fear, Theo opens the phone and presses one. Then he sees the red car. The one he threw.
Oh no
Theo did a bad thing…
“Hey buddy. We’re almost home. What are you and Eddie up to?” Buck asks.
Theo bursts into tears. Blubbering and sniffing, trying to explain why they need to hurry.
“He’s not moving!” He manages to yell at Buck. Half the words are swallowed by his sobs.
“I threw the car and dropped the juice and hurt him. And and, Buck! Hefell. Itsblood, lotsandlots. Comehome Buck!. I’m scared.”
“Theo, buddy. Take a breath.”
Theo does. Buck sounds scared now too.
“Slowly. Tell me, are you hurt?”
“No, no, Eddie, Eddiebearfelldown and he won’t wake up. Buck! Buck, its blood. Lots and lots.”
“Where is he, Theo?”
“Onthefloorintheblood. HURRY!.” He wails and wails.
“Theo?” he says, louder, firm. “Breathe. Slow down. I can’t understand you otherwise.”
Theo feels his insides shaking. He creeps closer to Eddie. Cuddles up against him with the phone at his ear. Tears wet his clothes but Theo doesn’t think he’ll mind. Eddie bear doesn’t mind snot and tears. He fists his hand in the fabric beneath him and answers Buck.
“He’s…on the floor. In the…blood.”
BUCK:
A few streets away from home, Eddie calls.
He puts the call on speaker, he and Chris pausing their conversation with matching grins.
Only, its not Eddie.
Its Theo.
Freaking out.
Scared.
Not making sense.
Buck glances across at Chris, who’s already staring back at him in horror. They can clearly hear him crying about blood? Some weird song is playing in the background and Theo’s panicked crying rings loudly in the car.
He turns down the next street, manages to get Theo to tell him what happened and feels his limbs start to shake. Eddie is on the floor. He’s not waking up…and there is blood.
Without asking, Chris is already dialing 911. Theo, his kid, is hysterical, but Buck has another one of his kids with him, so he speeds up and hopes he doesn’t kiss a lamppost before he reaches his house.
He’s out of the car before Chris finishes telling him help is on the way. He stays on the line as he follows behind as fast as he can on his crutches. Buck is already through the door, and they can hear Theo's terrified wailing from the lounge. He’s crying like his heart is broken.
Eddie is on the floor.
Flat on his back with a pool of blood under his head. Buck barely registers Chris’s, ‘Oh my god’ as he takes in the scene. Theo has Eddie’s arm over his shoulder, tucked into his side. He has the phone in one ear, the other hand fisted on Eddie’s stomach, clutching at his shirt.
Buck touches him gently, and Theo sits up and crashes into him. Eddie’s arm falls away, limp.
Chris drops to the floor beside his father while Buck holds his son in one arm and checks Eddie over with the other. He’s out cold, but breathing. His pulse is good but he’s very pale and there’s a disconcerting amount of blood pooling under his head.
The dispatcher tells them not to move him. An ambulance is one minute out.
Chris leaves the phone on his lap and takes Eddies hand in his.
“There’s…so much blood.” he says to Buck, voice shaken.
“Head wounds bleed a lot.” He tells the boys automatically, hoping its true this time. And then he notices that Theo…is bloody too and his heart pounds harder in his chest.
Buck checks him over quickly, finding him unhurt. He wants to be relieved, but his stomach is still in knots because Eddie is still and bleeding out on his floor and Theo who was just now crying blue murder, is deathly silent.
The medics arrive and take over the scene. Chris watches as they stabilize Eddie for transport and Buck quickly changes Theo into clean clothes. He’s still sobbing, but pliant and mostly silent. Every few breaths he murmurs apologies. Little, ‘I’m sorries’ and ‘Buck.’
There’s a huge mess on the floor that he’ll deal with later. Eddie’s vitals are strong, but pupils are uneven so they’re most probably dealing with a concussion.
He’s still unresponsive.
They follow the stretcher outside, and wait for them to load Eddie into the ambulance.
Then Buck straps Theo into his car seat and Chris climbs in next to him. He takes his little hand and sits as close to him as he can. Theo leans into Chris like he’s a lifeline.
Buck’s heart breaks and warms at the same time. Chris is scared for his dad, but here he is, offering comfort to Theo.
Eddie’s son has Eddie’s big heart. Buck smiles at him from the mirror in thanks.
‘Its ok. You’re ok.” Chris whispers to him. Theo sobs into their joined hands.
“I’m sorry. Sorry.” He wails at Chris. And starts to repeat everything again.
Chris smooths Theo’s hair down with his free hand and bites his lip to stop his own tears. Buck follows the ambulance to the hospital at a safe speed. He thinks about calling Maddie to collect the kid because his last trip to the hospital still gives him nightmares, but as soon as he suggests it to Chris, Theo has a full blown meltdown.
He wants Chris and he wants Eddie. Buck gives in when Chris calms him down again with only a few softly spoken words. It won’t do to separate them.
There’s a million questions to ask, a thousand scenarios flashing in his head, but all he has is a freaked out four year old and an unconscious best friend, who are the only ones with answers.
The waiting room is busy but they manage to find a quiet corner to sit in. Chris keeps Theo on his lap while Buck fills out the correct details on the paperwork. When he returns, Theo is dozing off on Chris, clearly having exhausted himself crying. He twitches once, twice and snuggles into his neck. Chris pets his head gently.
“He said they were playing. He asked for juice. Dad got him some but Theo spilled and slid in it. When dad tried to grab him, he slipped on one of Theo’s toy cars. Theo says dad caught him. He didn’t let him fall or get hurt, but then he turned and dad wouldn’t wake up and he saw the blood and flipped.”
Buck closes his eyes. Of course Eddie wouldn’t let Theo fall even if he had to stop it with his own head. Minutes pass. Chris and Buck talk softly while they wait for news until Theo breaks out of his doze with a tired sob, and reaches for Buck.
He repeats the story to Buck, cries becoming more frantic.
“I didn’t listen. Eddie bear said be careful. Look where I’m going. I dropped the juice. An…and threw the car. And he caught me. And he fell.”
“Ah buddy. What happened to Eddie was an accident.”
“Dad is right, we have to always be careful, but even when we are, sometimes bad things still happen.” Chris explains. “It’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry for throwing the car.”
“We know you are, bud.” Chris says. “And you called for help. You’re smart and brave too. You saved dad’s life. He’ll be so proud of you.”
Buck can’t believe Chris at 15, is the absolute best teenager in the world. He’s been through the worst, and he still has so much compassion and love in his heart. He’s comforting Theo the way they would have done with him, using the right words, the right tone. He’s so proud of him.
Buck loves them both so much.
Theo takes a few seconds to process, then ducks his head. “I want my Eddie Bear!”
Theo cries, wet and ugly. Then he hides his face on Buck’s shoulder and snots all over it. Chris rubs his back and Theo reaches behind him to grip his fingers.
It’s another few minutes before someone walks up to them.
“Family of Edmundo Diaz?”
Buck stands with Theo. The kid peeks out from over his shoulder and stares at the doctor. Chris stays seated, a worried frown on his face.
“I’m Dr. Mita.” She dips her chin gently towards the hallway. “Mr. Diaz is awake but still drowsy. He’s suffered a grade 3 concussion, has a hairline fracture at the back of his skull and split the skin open enough to require stitches. He’s going to be sore. Mostly tired. In the coming days there’ll be migraines, some balance issues, nausea and mood swings, but ultimately, he will make a full recovery.”
At Buck’s relieved sigh and Christopher’s thank goodness, she nods.
“My Eddie bear okay?” Theo asks, voice thin and shaky.
“He’s ok.” Buck agrees and Chris wiggles his foot and repeats the same thing to him.
The doctor watches them smiling.
“He’s very lucky. He was out cold for a bit but came to in the ambulance. CT found no intracranial bleeding. Reflexes are sluggish but that’s expected. You’ll have to keep an eye out for any changes in the coming weeks. Bring him back immediately if you do spot any. He cannot remember the events leading up to his fall, but he does remember playing with this little one. He’s been very uneasy, and likely won’t settle down to rest unless he sees his boys.” She straightens out her stethoscope. “Been relentlessly asking for you since he came to.”
Chris stands, Buck nods.
“How long are you keeping him?”
“We’ll keep him under observation overnight. Barring any complications, we’ll release him to your care by tomorrow afternoon or early Monday. A nurse will show you to his room. Have a good night guys.”
As she leaves, a nurse comes by and tells them Eddie’s room number.
“Theo, buddy, you’re gonna have to be gentle with Eddie okay? No jumping on him or loud noises.” Buck warns as they near the room.
“His head hurt?” Theo pulls at Buck’s earlobe.
“Yeah buddy.”
“A lot? And..and…the blood is gone?” he wants to know.
“Yes and yes.” Buck kisses his cheek and hugs him.
He holds the door open for Chris, Theo leaning off his arm and looking inside immediately searching for Eddie.
Theo freezes as soon as he clocks him in the dim room. Eddie’s eyes are closed but they flutter open the second he hears Christopher’s crutches. He’s got an IV in his left arm, pulse ox on his finger and he’s still attached to a heart monitor and a pressure cuff, but he’s smiling lopsided and exhausted and finger waves at Theo.
“Hey guys.”
“How’re you feeling dad?” Chris plops down on the chair nearest to his IV arm.
Clever kid.
“Alright bud. Just a headache.”
“Liar. You cracked your head open like an egg.” Chris snorts. “Sorry, bad yolk.”
Eddie snorts too. Then winces, one hand going up to the side of his head with a small ugh.
It sets Theo off again. Buck meets Eddie’s eyes across the room. Eddie wants to ask, but he won’t, not in front of the kid.
“Mijo…what’s wrong?” Eddie asks him. Theo reaches for him, and Eddie, without hesitation, reaches back.
“I’m sorry.” Theo sniffs. “You got hurt.”
Eddie, with no idea what he’s distraught and apologizing for, tells him its not his fault. Buck knows he’d never blame Theo anyway.
Buck shakes his head at them. Chris is grinning as he settles Theo on the bed, careful to avoid all the lines. He immediately sinks into Eddie’s side, fingers curling over the thin cotton of his gown. Eddie kisses the top of his head and breathes him in, other hand searching for and closing around Christopher’s.
“Love you lots Eddie bear, and Buck and Chris too.” Theo pats Eddie’s cheek softly, this time happy to see his eyes open.
“Yeah, love you dad.” Chris smirks at Theo’s wide eyes when he pauses. “And Buck and Theo too.” He adds, and Theo relaxes, satisfied.
Eddie’s eyes are already heavy, drooping from pain and exhaustion, words slurring at the edges as he tells both kids that he’s ok, that they all are.
“I love you guys so much.” Eddie tells them, voice warm.
They all look at Buck. He shrugs. Roll his eyes. “ I love you guys too. Soooo much.” He holds his arms apart and Theo huffs a laugh.
“Home tomorrow?” Theo confirms with Buck.
“Yeah buddy. We can take Eddie home tomorrow.”
“Good. Chris, I found the idea.”
“What idea bud?”
“To make my family. Miss Lily said mom’s and dad’s and siblinks. You don’t have a mom, and I don’t have a mom, but we have dad’s. Two. And we can be siblinks.”
“Siblings.” Chris corrects. “I like your idea.” He chuckles when Buck chokes on air and promptly blames that for the tears.
Eddie isn’t following. The skin between his eyebrows are pinched in pain and he looks a little nauseas, but he smiles with them anyway.
“Buck, we’ll be a forever family.”
“We already are.” Eddie mumbles and drifts off a few seconds later, in the middle of telling Buck they’ll talk later. Theo snuggles down, falling asleep against him in minutes. He snuffles into Eddie’s neck. Eddie makes a small snuffle too and Buck and Chris break into soft giggles.
There’ll be lots to talk about tomorrow. Theo will likely never forget this day. Eddie might never remember it. It will be hard for all of them, but he and Eddie will walk Theo through it. Buck will make sure he always has professional help available to him to sort through his emotions, and Chris will be his biggest cheerleader because he knows what its like.
For however complicated their lives are, being a family is simple. They’ve had years of practice with it already.
CHRIS:
They come to pick dad up together. Last night they stayed over at their house. Buck had waited for Theo to fall asleep and left Chris to babysit while he went home to clean up. Dad was discharged Sunday afternoon, not because he was feeling better, but because he was stubborn and didn’t want them running up and down for him.
Chris stayed in the car with Theo, but had to switch seats when he started crying. Dad went home tucked up next to Theo in the back seat, holding hands. Chris found it sweet and a little funny, how easily dad would cave when Theo asked for something from him.
But he wasn’t surprised. All his life, that had just been dad’s way to love. He’d give you his everything if it would make you happy. Sometimes, in his growth spurt phases, Chris thought it was too much love. Like where does he keep so much of it? How does he never run out? But then he realized, when he was in Texas and as he got older, that its in his actions, in his protectiveness, wrapped in his arms and on his feet that keep them grounded. Dad loves with his whole being. Its loud. Hard to forget, difficult to think you might lose it. He knows why Theo drifts towards him. Dad’s love is a warm blanket on a cold night. Its security and promise.
Chris is blessed to be loved by him. And then there’s Buck.
Buck who gives and gives. Because his love is big too. Its in his hands when he cooks for them, in his smile when he cheers them on. In his words when he talks and his actions when they need to see it. Between dad and Buck, there’s never gonna be a day they’re hungry for it.
It doesn’t matter really, if they stay at Buck’s or at Bedford. Home is wherever they are together.
The next few days are hard for dad. He sleeps a lot, and wobbles whenever he sits up. He can barely make it to the bathroom without spinning at least once and someone has to catch him. He’s dizzy and doesn’t want to eat, but needs to, to take his meds.
Buck ends up sharing dad’s room because no one wants a repeat of Saturday.
Buck had taken time off from work to help him. Dad is on time out for a month. And he is only allowed back after a follow up from his doctor. Chim won’t compromise. Dad is too out of it to argue, and by the time he can, its too late.
Buck drops them off at school and fetches them after, snacks ready, and prepared to help with homework. So the usual. Except, now there’s Theo.
Theo sleeps in his room on the air mattress, but halfway through the night he sneaks out. Chris finds him cuddled up to dad in the morning, Buck in the kitchen making breakfast and Theo so comfortable it takes forever to wake him. Chris should feel jealous, but he doesn’t. All he feels is peace, settled. Like something missing has slotted into place.
Dad wakes up enough to kiss them goodbye and wish them a good day before he falls asleep again and Chris doesn’t feel lost or worried or angry. Buck is still there.
Because dad spends most of the next three days medicated and asleep, Theo has taken to running in socks while he practices quiet. He brings all sorts of snacks and drawings to dad, to the room if he’s resting there or the couch where they all sprawl round him.
It’s only on the fourth day, when dad’s headache is less terrible and he’s able to sit at the table and follow one conversation, that Buck explains to him properly what happened.
Dad is horrified to have scared Theo, and only now understands why he’s been so clingy. They sit down, all of them together, and talk Theo through it.
They remind him it wasn’t his fault, that accidents happen, that he’s brave and clever. But every time he sees the missing patch of hair on dad’s head, or sees him wince or wobble, he sticks closer, keeps some part of himself attached, like dad will disappear and leave him behind. Buck notices. He looks sad too, but between him and dad, they manage to keep Theo busy.
They also get first row seats to dad’s mood swings. Chris expected irritation. Last time hovering made dad irritated. This time, he starts to cry as soon as they tell him they love him. He cries when he gets a hug, and cries when Theo brings him something. He cries when they leave for school and when they get back, and cries because Buck cooks so good and because… Buck?
Chris is ecstatic when it passes by the weekend.
They’re all out of tissues…
By the second week Buck is back at work and dad is able to help himself. Not by much. He’s confined to the couch with everything he needs close by. Only allowed to walk around for bathroom breaks. He has to shower early when Buck is home or when he gets home in the evening. Dad still gets unexpected bouts of dizziness so during the day, any one of the firefam will drop by to check on him.
Theo grows more confident by the third week, that dad won’t just fall, or sleep and not wake up. Theo still watches him like a hawk when he’s away from him, but the distance is getting slowly larger.
Chris, Buck and dad had to sit and talk about it. About finding ways to show Theo that he has their support whatever he’s feeling.
The adults hit a brick wall when Theo has a crash out about going back home next week. Chris thinks its hilarious. Because first Theo asks Buck if he can adopt Chris and Dad so they can stay together forever. When they tell him no, adoption isn’t for adults, he asks Chris what papers will make them family.
Well, naturally, Chris suggests a marriage certificate. He doesn’t expect Theo to draw one and force dad and Buck to sign it with Chris as witness.
Needless to say, some cans are opened and some worms fall out…
Well, who is Christopher Diaz to deny Theo Buckley-Diaz his happiness when its the same as his.
Six months down the line, they find a nice four bedroomed house for their family close to both schools and the 118. The little red demon car sits on the mantle in a clear glass case, like a mascot. Theo’s idea. Apparently he finds them everywhere now…ideas.
Theo no longer clings, but he’s gotten closer to dad. He’s been promoted from Eddie bear to Daddy bear. Buck is Daddo. They’ll let him have it while he’s little.
Chris finds that dad and Theo are the same way he’s always been with Buck. They each bring something with them that the other needs, but most of all its love. Really, it doesn’t matter where they live or how. If they’re together, they’re home.