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Chapter 1 — Draco: A Foreword
Draco—a dragon.
My namesake is not and has never been the image my existence has evoked in anyone. I am not a mighty beast of legends, not the gold standard of quality, not strong or durable. I haven't done anything noteworthy in my life. When the world was at war, I stood silently and backed off into the shadows.
Yet, for some inexplicable reason, someone has decided my story is one worth scribing down. As of writing this I cannot fathom how my story could be of interest to anyone. I am a mere side character in a much larger story. But I shall indulge them this once.
The question "Who is Draco Malfoy?" is at the very top of the list of goals for this book. It was asked of me in a manner implying that I was expected to have an answer. Do they not understand that I am a title and a disgrace to that title?
It turned out they expected me to show them the man behind that title. Does an empty shell count?
I was forced to put aside the Malfoy and turn to Draco.
Where do you even begin, when you don't know what you're looking at? I headed to the place that usually has held the answers: the library. Maybe there I could find a spec of something to hold onto.
As it has been the Black family tradition for centuries, I was named after a constellation. My namesake consists of seventeen main stars and an obnoxiously long list of other elements ranging from more prominent bodies to insignificant clutter. A somewhat important part of the northern skies, but not enough to break it's way into the twelve zodiac signs. It exists in their vicinity, trampled down by the more important ones.
Feels familiar.
One of the dragons said to be depicted by the Draco constellation is the mythical dragon Ladon. He was tasked with guarding the golden apples of the Garden of Hesperides. A life of duty in a beautiful garden. Everything was fine until the Wonder Boy arrived to complete one of the tasks that was given to him by the old bearded leader. Just as Ladon, I failed the task I was given. Now the corpse of the serpent lies up in the sky with the Wonder Boy stomping down on his neck.
It doesn't get that much better with the Romans, where Draco was one of the Titans at war with the Olympians. He was defeated by the goddess Minerva and thrown up to the sky, where he froze into his twisted form.
It all feels very fitting. The one of many adversaries in someone else's quest for greatness. Harry Potter and the Inconsequential Serpent, the 6th book of the popular Wonder Boy hit series. Now available at your nearest Flourish & Blots.
As if I'd get my own book.
The mythology of Draco seems to only lean into to path I am already on. Would a different name have given me a different path?
I turn to the actual constellation and the bodies that form it. Draco lies between the two Dippers and is often forgotten next to the more prominent and actually interesting parts of the northern night sky. The constellation can be hard to see, as it lacks brighter elements and may feel disjointed unless the sky is dark enough.
Have you ever felt like the entire universe mocks you?
A detail I personally find interesting is the amount of binary stars within the constellation. It has a hidden dichotomy to it. The irony of me being born under the Gemini constellation does not elude me. Move fast, because now you get yourself a chance for the two in one offer of a tosser and a disappointment all in one single anemic platinum blonde package. What variety!
So, dear reader, if at some point you find yourself feeling like you know who I am or have found my inner complexity, please, share it with me. I would love to hear what you have imagined in your mind.
I cannot in good conscience encourage you to enjoy this journey, but I hope you can gain something from it. A satisfying feeling of smugness over having made better choices, perhaps.
- Draco
November 15th, 2006
Chapter 2 — Gemini: An Epilogue
Gemini—twins.
I hope you cashed in that two in one offer from the foreword, because it turned out to be a steal.
This journey became the polar opposite of what I expected. For the first time in forever I was allowed to be curious. About the world, about my place in it. About myself. It was something I had been strongly discouraged to be growing up. I had a role to fulfil and that was all there was. I was told that the world is how it is and anyone trying to push another narrative was inferior. What a terrible existence to be denied curiosity. The world is an unbelievably interesting place once you start looking. Explore it.
Finding my curiosity allowed me to find my voice. I found I had opinions that were my own. I was no longer repeating what my family had taught me. And suddenly I was no longer angry.
I was so angry for so long. Locking myself up deep within fuelled the worst in me. It made me nasty and mean. If I could just hold my younger self and tell him to let that curiosity flourish. To tell him that bottling yourself down into a mould you don't fit into really fucks you up. Happiness exists and it is in all the things I didn't let myself explore.
As you may have sensed throughout this journey, I have also found something other than just myself. I have been terribly lucky, because I found someone to be curious with. In the beginning her questions—more like poking and prodding—annoyed the hell out of me. She forced me to look at myself. I hated it. What was there to even see? But she kept pushing and demanding more from me. And when I finally saw myself, she gave me the space to stop and look properly.
Hermione Granger, without you this story—both what has been recorded and what is to come—would be very different. I would still be holed up in my pity party, holding onto lies and someone else's attitudes with a white knuckled grip. Thank you for giving me the space and pulling me out of the dark.
I also need to congratulate you on the absolute genius choice of forcing me to write the foreword before we began. It was a rough one to read again after all of this. I'm glad it was there.
Gemini, Draco—the duality in my name and birth—thank you for being there. I did not see you at first. I needed to find my other side, before I could understand. I still have my title, my history and my burden, but I now also have a future.
And a lot to reconcile.
In the beginning I asked you, dear reader, to tell me, if you feel like you know who I am, since I did not know it myself. I still don't, but I have a better understanding of who I can be and who I want to be.
- Draco
May 17th, 2009.