Chapter Text
The wind is timid as it swirls around Cristiano. He stills his movements to stare at his teammates. They laugh and they smile, and Cristiano can only look at them with jealousy. He wishes he could forget his troubles easily, but he can’t. They haunt his mind everywhere he goes. Not good enough. Need to better. Useless. Second best.
In retrospective he knows that his teammates are not without problems, but it becomes hard to think clearly when he feels like the world hates him. He tries to put on a radiant smile; it’s not too hard when he’s been doing this his entire life. For the most part his teammates don’t notice, though sometimes he notices the worried glances Kaka sends his way. But he's become apt at avoiding Kaka these days.
Though it seems Kaka isn’t the only one who’s noticed, if the constant presence of Iker is of any indication. Not only that, but Iker continuously tries to engage Cristiano in conversations. It’s mostly small talk, but Cristiano finds that he doesn’t mind it. At times, he enjoys his conversations with Iker. Cristiano would even admit that he has a bit of a crush on Iker. Who wouldn’t? The great Iker. San Iker.
After several days of the same routine, Cristiano starts to believe that going on like this is doable. That he can continue to lie to his friends, that he can pretend he’s fine, perfectly fine.
It’s after training, Cristiano is the last one getting out of the showers, at least that’s what he assumes. He gets dressed, going through the motions with ease, until he’s struck with a painful thought. He gasps, thinking of the next game and of his inevitable failure. He rests against the wall, with his hand clutching his trainer bag. He wants to cry out and it is only because he believes to be the sole occupant in the room that he allows himself to let out a strangled sob.
He can't do this. He can't pretend that he's immune to the constant criticism from the press, from the public and from his friends. Coming to Real Madrid was supposed to be different; it wasn't supposed to be this painful, this hard.
“Cristiano?”
Cristiano froze. It was Iker, somehow he had remained behind and now here he was, being witness to Cristiano’s breakdown. No no no, Cristiano scrambled for an excuse, simultaneously turning away to wipe his eyes.
“Iker! I didn’t know you were still here!” he tried to conjure up a smile but he knew it was nowhere near convincing. He glanced at Iker briefly, not wanting to see disappointment or pity in his eyes.
Iker stared at him. “Yes, I left some of my stuff…” He looked like he wanted to say more but the look on Cristiano’s was stopping him.
“Yeah yeah, well I have to go! I'll see you in practice tomorrow,” Cristiano rambled. His fingers fidgeted with the strap on his trainer bag. He turned towards the door.
“Wait!”
Cristiano came to a halt. What did Iker want? “Yeah?”
Iker looked hesitant. “Do you- do you want to get some drinks? Maybe?”
Cristiano frowned. Drinks? What was Iker playing at? “I don’t-“
“Please.” Iker looked insecure, and Cristiano really couldn't refuse him.
Cristiano sighed. He wanted to say no. He feared what might come, what Iker might say and yet he couldn’t help but feel that maybe Iker would treat him like a normal person, that Iker would listen to Cristiano, without judgement. “I- okay. Yeah, sure,” he said, already regretting it.
But the smile Iker sent his way was enough to wash away his hesitancy.
Iker has a way with words and people. Now, he smiles at Cristiano, hoping that he can reach Cristiano. He’s seen the way the fire in Cristiano’s eyes has dimmed recently and he doesn’t like it. So he tries to engage Cristiano, hoping to draw him out of his stupor.
Today in the showers shows him that Cristiano is still grappling with himself. It also makes him understand that he needs to show Cristiano that people care about him and love him, that he, Iker, loves him. Something that isn’t easy. But Cristiano’s affirmative on the drinks encourages Iker to advance.
Cristiano follows Iker to his house. His hands are sweaty. He has no idea what to expect. Iker might confront him and he isn’t sure if he’s ready for that.
The evening is quiet, as night falls around them. The silence around them has shifted from weary to comfortable, until Iker breaks it by telling Cristiano about his day. It’s simple. Cristiano finds himself laughing along as Iker tells him about Sergio’s pranks. The team is certainly a handful.
Cristiano relaxes, and he forgets about his troubles. He smiles at Iker, wonderful Iker. As the day grows darker, Cristiano gets up to leave.
“Thank you, I had a good time,” Cristiano tells Iker. The truth is he really did. He hadn't expected to feel so at ease with Iker.
Iker nods. Then he smiles, gracing Cristiano with one of his most brilliant smiles, reserved for those closest to him. “You’re a great company.”
Cristiano smiles widely, and genuinely. As he gets to the door, he turns to say a final goodbye.
Iker is close to him. “Cris… I hope you know that you can talk to me, that I’m here to listen,” Iker whispers. He moves closer still, close enough for Cristiano to feel his hot breath.
Cristiano isn’t angry or startled by Iker’s words. He knows Iker is speaking truthfully and he appreciates it. Without thinking, he closes the distance between them. “Thank you,” he breathes against Iker’s mouth.
Iker pulls back, the promise of something beautiful on his face. “See you in practice, Cris.”