Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Relationships:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2026-06-10
Updated:
2026-08-03
Words:
16,725
Chapters:
6/?
Comments:
23
Kudos:
34
Bookmarks:
6
Hits:
513

The Tale of Tommy Underscore's Completely Normal Life™

Summary:

Tommy is a vigilante, to put it plain and Simple. He was sick and tired of L'manburg (a poor part of S-empee) not being patrolled by the heroes, so he did it himself as the petty gremlin he is. However, a job opens up at the hero tower- personal assistant of The Blade, Phantom, and Zephyrus.
And what does Tommy do with that information?
Nothing. At least thats what would've happened if it werent for him and his brothers desperately needing the money for rent.
Now, Tommy is the three heroes's personal assistant. Much to his disdain.
But hey, theres nothing to go wrong!
...Right?

~
Quick A/N theres like a 50% chance I end up abandoning this so like beware. Also i will probably update the tags more in the future, these tags really achieve the bare minimum of warnin, sorry bout that. (Is that mostly because i have no plan for the plot? maybe. This might end up being a shit ton of fluff or smth for all i know."

Notes:

No fuckin clue where im goin with this bitch of a fic, but I just got out of my writing slump after readin a shit ton of Vigilante Tommy fics and thus feel like writin one myself. A little late to the party, I am, but oh well. This fic was inspired by so many people and their work that it would take me longer than writing the fic itself to link them all. I might end up linking my favorites later, but just know that ive read basically every single VIgilante Tommy fic i can get my hands on. So if youve written one, just know you have contributed to the inspiration part of the fucken shit show this fic might end up bein.

Also, just a heads up, I gave Ranboo they/them pronouns here. However when I reach my flowstate i tend to swap around pronouns and such so if you find that I slipped up somewhere, let me know. please. I beg you.

Edit 7/14/2026: lowkey completely forgot that tommy was supposed to be an avian so like yay i get to completely edit 12k+ words to include minor details about avians. haha. love my life. TvT (also i realized that i have control of the relationships in this fic so there will be some romantic golden duo because yez. If ya dont like it dont read or pretend its platonic by ignoring the smooching ig???)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Stab Stab <3

Summary:

Uhhhhh, TWs. Those exist. Uhhhh bleeding. A good bit of bleeding. and karens. idk if karens need a TW but lowkey i would probably appreciate a warning for karens cause karens suck.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Dream at your 11 o’clock Forge, Dream at your 11 o’clock.”

 

Tommy ducks, grabbing the arm Dream was about to stab him with and flipping him over his back, making him crash into 404, both of them falling to the ground. He was just supposed to be out on a quick patrol, stopping a few muggings here and there. But nooo, the stupid government had to be on his ass because of his freaking powers.

 

He didn't understand why his powers were such a big deal anyway. He barely used them, let alone knew what they were! As far as Tommy is aware, it's just some matter manipulation here and there. Is that a dangerous power? Sure. But it's not like he’s using it for evil. He just keeps the poor parts of S-empee safe because none of the heroes do. The only times the heroes even show up to this side of S-empee is when Forge has become ‘more of an issue’ than regularly.

 

What they mean by ‘more of an issue’ is that he is doing more help towards the people and disrespecting their authority more than usual.

 

“Okay, boys, as much as I love running into you it's time I take my leave” Tommy began, stepping away. Only to have a dagger thrown at him by 404, nailing him right in the lower stomach. He immediately began bleeding through his black shirt, he could see the puddle of blood growing larger. He started feeling a bit faint.

 

Boy is he glad for the mask that covers the lower half of his face, his grimace would give away the pain he was in immediately and Dream nor 404 get to see that. He would rather die.

 

“Well, shit, that's not good.” Tommy said with a little laugh. He almost immediately heard Tubbo yelling at him from his earpiece, having been snapped out of whatever type of shock he was stuck in before.

 

“OF COURSE ITS NOT GOOD FORGE YOU JUST GOT STABBED IN THE STOMACH! BOO, EMERGENCY TOMMY NEEDS OUT!” Tommy heard a thump and a vwoop sound, then Ranboo popped up right next to him.

 

“Forge! Are you ok???? Oh my god oh my god oh my god” In the middle of their worried muttering, they all of a sudden whipped around at 404. “If you so much as breathe in his direction again, I will track you down and make your life a living hell. I don't know who you are under the mask, I do not care. I will track you down no matter how far you run or how long you hide i will fucking find you and you will start to think of your worst nightmare as your happiest memory.”

 

Then Ranboo grabbed Tommy and teleported out of there, ending up back at their, Tommy, and Tubbo’s apartment. “Damn, Boob-boy, didn’t think you'd threaten him that way.” Ranboo went still.

 

“I well he hurt you a-and we don't know if he hit anywhere important a-a-and I got so-so angry-y that it kind of fell out of my face im sorry I didn't mean to say that stuff i wont-” Tommy shushed them, the blood loss beginning to make him a bit delirious.

 

“Shhhhhh, I thought it was cool as fuck, man. Do it again, I will pay to see it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I'll be passing out now.” And, right as he finished his sentence, his words started slurring together and he practically faceplanted into THe ground, being caught by Ranboo and Tubbo a second before he would’ve hit the ground.

 

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

 

~~~~~

 

When Tommy woke up from passing out, his quicker-healing had come in clutch yet again. Looking around, he saw that his Forge costume was in the laundry hamper, his black shirt now having a hole in it. His black cargo pants and his bomber jacket also soaked in blood. He saw his wine red combat boots by the door, and his gas mask and goggles were on the nightstand next to the mattress he was laying on. 

 

His red and black wings were out as well. Tubbo and Ranboo must have unbound them after he passed out. Built for speed, they were rather large, roughly 2 times as wide as he is long. He manages to hide them in a mix of binding them and magic. Rather uncomfortable though.

 

He then heard Ranboo and Tubbo bickering in the kitchen, seeing them around the corner of their one room apartment. “Tubbo, out of the kitchen.”

 

“Awh, Boooooooooo, whyyyyyyy?”

 

“The last time you were in the kitchen we were 10 and cooked noodles in oil instead of water and nearly burnt down our kitchen.” Ranboo deadpanned, continuing to stir the ramen.

 

“Hey! That was like 5 years ago! I've grown!” Tubbo exclaimed, crossing his arms. Ranboo turned to him, raising their eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, and a few months ago I gave you the chance to microwave some popcorn for our movie night and you opened the bag, put it in a bowl with WATER, and then put it in the microwave with a METAL FORK in the bowl. The only reason why it didn't explode is because Tommy went to the kitchen to get a cup of water and saw you nearly put it in.” Ranboo went back to the bowl, before continuing with. “And you’ve barely grown since then. You are like an inch taller.” Tubbo gasped, and started to retort but then Ranboo interrupted with: “Go check on Toms, he’s probably woken up by now and will be hungry. You know how much his quick healing tires him out.”

 

“I accept your quest boob man.” Tubbo says, exiting the kitchen and barely dodging the wooden spoon Ranboo threw at him on his way out. Cackling, he turned the corner of the apartment and walked towards the bed, seeing Tommy awake and giggling which neither him or ranboo had noticed over the two of them bickering.

 

“Toms!” Tubbo yelled, practically tackling him in a hug. “YOu never do that to us again, you understand me Tommy Idiot Underscore! You scared me and Boo half to death you fucker!” He continued with a grand many profanities until he remembered his original mission.


“Oh right, you hungry? Boo’s making some ramen.” Tommy smiled, nodding.

 

“Yea. Also, Boo’s right y’know. You've grown like an inch since we were 10.” Tommy laughed at Tubbo's betrayed facial expression. 

 

“TOMMY! YOU BETRAYED ME, YOUR OWN BROTHER!” Tubbo said, jumping back with a hand on his chest. “AFTER ALL WE’VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHERYOU EVEN TOOK MY LAST NAME WHEN WE WERE 6!” Tommy started cackling at that.

 

“Yeah, so did Ranboo you fucker. We all would’ve done the same, except Boobman’s last name was connected to gangs and I didn't have a last name to contribute to the vote.”

 

“Hey, bringing in trauma is just unfair.” Tubbo said, wounded, “I mean, I can also play the trauma card but that's so much work.” Tommy started laughing a bit more, calming down a bit.

 

“Anyway, food time?” Tommy said, smelling the ramen again. Tubbo said “yeah, I'll go check with Boo.” and got up to head to the kitchen.

 

“No need, I'll do it!”

 

Tommy, who had become bored of staying in one place, then proceeded to try and stand up, despite losing copious amounts of blood, and trying running to the kitchen using his wings to propel him forward. Sure, he made it, but when he did he saw the worry in Ranboo’s eyes from Tommy running in his current state.

 

“Toms,” They started, “You need to go sit down.” Tommy was about to protest, but Ranboo then gave him puppy dog eyes and his tail slowed down and stopped wagging. “Please?”

 

Now, Ranboo is both Tubbo’s and Tommy’s soft spot. If they even look slightly sad then tubbo and Tommy  would immediately do anything to make them feel better. Ranboo knows this, and whenever one of them isn't taking care of themselves he will use it against them as much as needed.

 

Tommy sighs. “Fineeee, only for you Boo.” Tommy goes to the floor of their makeshift living room and sits down onto the floor. He looks back over to ranboo, and their tail is now aggressively wagging, and the sad look on their face is gone, replaced with a happy grin and a sparkle in Ranboo's eyes. They quickly bring over the bowls to the living room esque area, with Tubbo joining them after grabbing some cups of water for the three of them. They sit there, eating in silence for a while.

 

Ranboo finishes their ramen serving first, leaving Tommy and Tubbo to exchange a look.

 

“They gave us more food again didn't they?”

 

“Yeah, think so.” 

 

Tommy then hears Ranboo’s stomach rumble. Ranboo tries to ignore it.

 

Tommy and Tubbo don't. Tommy grabs Ranboo’s bowl and puts the rest of his ramen into the bowl. Tubbo then contributes some of his too.

 

“Guys” Ranboo starts, before quietly giving up on resisting when Tommy and Tubbo both look at him with a sad look, their combined power making them fall silent. After a moment, Ranboo speaks again.

 

“Thank you guys.”

 

When they were all done eating, they got ready for bed and climbed onto the mattress, Tubbo practically on top of Tommy and Ranboo with Ranboo curled around them both. Tommy wrapped his wings around all three of them as a blanket, and they all managed to fall asleep relatively quickly, half dreading the day ahead of them. 

 

~~~~~

 

The next morning, their alarm went off at a bright and early 5 a.m.

 

Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo all groaned, dreading their day at work. The three of them are lucky enough to work relatively close to each other; Tommy at Bad’s Coffee as a barista, Tubbo at the local Convenience storenobody knows the name of said convenience store because the sign broke years ago and was never replaced as a cashier, and ranboo worked at the local library as a librarian. It was about a twenty to forty minute walk depending on which location they were coming from and going to.

 

Unfortunately, they also worked completely different hours. Tubbo works from 6 am to 2 pm most days, occasionally picking up double shifts, Ranboo works from 10 am to 4 pm every day, and then Tommy works from 7 am to 8 pm insisting on taking as many hours as possible so that Tubbo and Ranboo wouldn't overwork themselves. Not to mention how Tommy regularly works overtime too.

 

Tubbo and Ranboo try to stop him. It does not work. Not even Ranboo’s sad face does. (a rarity)

 

They all started getting ready for work, TUbbo faster than the rest because it takes 40 minutes for him to get to the convenience store and he starts work in like an hour. Tommy and Ranboo take their time though, laughing at Tubbo cussing out inanimate objects if they were inconvenient.

 

“Bye Boo, bye Toms! Love you!” Tubbo yells before practically throwing himself out the door.

 

After a moment of silence, Ranboo says “He's going to be late, isn't he.”

 

“Yep.”

 

Tommy and Ranboo then break into laughter before getting back on task and getting ready for work.

 

~~~~~

 

“Can I get a venti iced-but-also-kind-of-hot quad ristretto blonde espresso, half-caf, upside-down, shaken but not too shaken, with oat milk steamed to 147°F, then cooled to 143°F, poured over exactly six ice cubes, two of which can be slightly smaller. Add 1.5 pumps vanilla, 2 pumps sugar-free vanilla, 0.75 pumps caramel, 1.25 pumps white mocha, a whisper of peppermint, and a morally responsible amount of cinnamon. Light foam, extra foam, and no foam if possible. Stirred, but not mixed. Layered, but homogeneous. Sweet, but not sweet-tasting. Strong, but smooth. Can you make it exactly like the one I got three years ago at a coffee place in District 3?”

 

“...Okay,” Tommy holds back his anger at such a overly complicated coffee order. Then, he gets an idea. “Ill write down your order, but I am about to take my break so Foolish over here will be making your order.” He then writes down the coffee order on the cup, before handing it to Foolish with a petty gleam in his eyes when he makes it to the backrooms of the shop.

 

“Why do you hate me?” Foolish groans.

 

“You left me to deal with a group of 3 old lady karens with hearing problems last week, this is you karma buddy.”

 

Foolish groans again, before putting the customer service smile back on his face and going to the front, making the lady’s drink. Tommy could hear from where he was snacking on a cookie Bad gave him in the alley behind the coffee shop, Foolish's sanity breaking in two when the lady said, “Sorry, can i have that decaf?”

 

When Tommy’s break was over, he walked back into the shop to an emotionally destroyed Foolish looking dead inside. Foolish glared at him. “You know that she was going to make me remake her drink 5 times, didnt you.”

 

“Yep. Ive made her drinks before, I was more than aware.” Tommy said, grinning evilly.

 

“Ok, so you hate me.” Foolish said, continuing to mess up the coffee he was making.

 

Tommy started cackling.

 

~~~~~

 

When Tommy’s shift finally ended, he texted the group chat as he walked out the door.

 

Thomas Idiot Danger Underscore: Im heading homeeeeee ✨

I got revenge on Foolish for the karen thing last week too

Today has been amazing

Boob-Man Supreme: Im very proud of you toms.

                                     Also, Im making spaghetti. 

                             Dont be late getting back home.

 

Nuke Man the 23rd: Good on you toms. How emotionally destroyed was he?

 

Thomas Idiot Danger Underscore: Very. I think he nearly cried.

 

Nuke Man the 23rd: You deserve a trophy.



Tommy smiled at his phone, about to type out a reply when he heard a pained groan from the alleyway he was walking next to. He briefly considered leaving, excited for Boo’s spaghetti, but quickly decided to at least check on the person groaning in the alley.

 

He walked in, looking around a bit. He couldnt see anything at first, until he saw a trail of blood- and a lot of it. He uickly followed it, finding a man leaning on the wall, nearly unconscious.

 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck—” Tommy reached out towards the man, moving him slightly to survey the damage. The man gripped his arms and wouldve slammed him into the wall if Tommy wasnt strong as fuck from all his vigilante-ing.

 

“Im trying to help you, fuckin bitch! Let go of me so I can stop you from fucking bleeding out, jesus christ man.” Tommy said, the man quickly letting go. Managing to inspect the would more closely, he saw that he was stabbed in the mid stomach, and saw the bloody dagger far away.

 

Now, if youre ever stabbed, you arent supposed to take out the weapon. Ever. It acts as a plug so if you take it out the blood will start flowing more and cause you to die faster from blood loss.

 

“Alright, not ideal, but I’ll do what i can.”

 

TOmmy reaches his arms towards the stab wound, beginning to use his powers. You see, Tommy can manipulate matter as his normal power. He can also heal fairly quickly, but he has also learned from an experience including Ranboo and water that he has some healing powers. Not the most powerful, but itll stop people from dying while in a pinch. Its his secondary abilitymost Avians have a secondary power, its more common in Avians than other species, at least.

 

His palms start getting warm. Then, they start glowing. Then, the man and tommy watch as the stab would starts to stitch itself back together, with the man getting less and less delirious from blood loss as Tommy’s healing had also helped fix that too.

 

Tommy finally gets a chance to see the guy well because of the light coming from Tommy’s hands. He quickly realized who he is. When  he is done healing him, he practically jumps away from him, eyes wide.

 

“Phantom.”

Notes:

Be so proud i finished this relatively fast and rather enjoyed writing this. Some parts might seem all over the place but like trust i was trying to fit as much context as possible in the first chapter while still progressing the plot at least a little bit. Also, heres a quick list of hero names/vigilante names that I have figured out so far as of right now. I have a few ideas for villains too but thats a spoiler lmao.