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Lohen was not scared. No, never. Lohen did not feel fear, he did not feel such frivolous things.
Because he was better. He was better than the Knights of Favonius, than Eroch and Dottore, than the flesh of Ursa.
So why was he shaking? Why were his hands all clammy? Why was his skin as pale as a sheet?
There were certain times where he could not trust himself to think clearly. Times where his mind was more clouded than the sky above, and his eyes would take on a dull coloring, and his face would turn dark with a multitude of thoughts. Be the change you want to see in the world, he had been told once upon a time; well “they” didn't tell him that the change he'd yearn to see would be so filled with destruction.
But now, in the library, he was forced to come to terms with the fact that his body was his and those shaking hands in front of him were indeed shaking.
Dragons didn't scare Lohen. They never did in the past (at least, not that he could remember).
So why was this boy, one who he had already seen and spoken to before, causing him so much distress?
There was a specific corner of the library that Durin always went to. Downstairs on the leftmost side, the one stocked head to toe with fairytales and children's books that made Lohen cringe more often than coo. It was more like a pillow fort than a section of a library now, by any means.
It was also something that had been stealing Lohen's attention as of late.
That day on Dragonspine, a plot set up by Nicole, was enlightening. Durin was a horrible actor, sure, but that's what made the performance so endearing. Dropping your copy of the script and not even showing your fighting prowess either? The lamest thing imaginable in Lohen's books.
So… he may have tracked Durin back home after his encounter with Nicole. And in doing so, he found the hidey hole in the corner of the library which was probably not up to code. Did Lisa take her job seriously? And was Lohen one to judge?
Regardless. He hadn't even been able to get close to the fort. His body locked up whenever he tried and memories — ones that he thought had locked away from good — of being locked in cages and injected with chemicals out of his will plagued him. But in order to get stronger, he needed to overcome this. He just needed to. What good was a knight if he couldn't even step close to a fucking pillow fort? Dragon be damned, it's a pillow fort!
Lohen creeped down the stairs in hopes of getting closer than he had ever before. Today would be the day, he told himself. He could go in, get in one good scare, and he could call it there.
(Even if there were chills down his spine at the thought of a dragon. Even if he could barely stomach the thought of being powerless against such a special creature again. That's what his search for power was all about, wasn't it?)
Huffing, he hid around a pillar. It was progress, the closest he had ever gotten.
“Almost there. And then those voices will be quiet,” Lohen muttered to himself. “Almost there.”
Lohen closed his eyes and counted to three, mentally yelling CHARGEEE! in that stupid voice Varka always did when trying to be commanding.
He made it a good 2 steps before bonking heads with someone and stumbling backwards. So much for his resolve.
“Sorry, I should've—”
“—I wasn't looking, so sorry!”
Lohen shook his head and looked up.
Was it possible for your heart to explode while it was still inside your body? Was Lohen eligible to be the first test subject?
Durin blinked down at him. “Are you okay?” He said cautiously. “Uhm, we've met before.”
“…Yeah.” Lohen said. He tilted his head curiously, though he really felt like he was going to puke.
“…”
“…” Lohen supplied helpfully.
“You're Lohen.” Durin pointed at him.
“I am.”
Durin pointed to himself. “I'm Durin.”
“You are.”
An awkward smile made its way to Durin's face.
“Want to come in?” Durin said, pointing at his castle of fluff. “I've noticed you trying to check it out for a while.”
Okay, yeah, just dissect him at that point. Damn superhumans with their superhuman senses. Or… well, Durin wasn't actually a superhuman, but a dragon. Lohen should have known better. It wasn't his fault the guy looked like a regular dude.
“…I…”
He was freezing up. He never did that. It's ironic, owning a cryo vision and never feeling this way. But the way ice traveled through his veins and he swore he could see his breath in the air made him feel like he was going crazy.
But Durin was smiling at him. Durin took his hand, and he instantly felt the mixing of cryo and pyro. But it wasn't overwhelming the way an elemental reaction usually was.
It was more like a soft spring blooming over the harshest of winters. Climbing into a hottub in the dead of night. Drinking hot cocoa on a snowy day.
By the Archons, Lohen wasn't a poetic man, that's all you're getting out of him.
But he felt warm inside.
So he accepted. With the smallest of nods, Durin was dragging him into the fort. Now that he looked at it, it wasn't the impenetrable fortress that he thought it was originally or the lair of a ferocious beast. No, it was a place of comfort for two young men. Durin's wings spread out ever so slightly and one made itself at home around Lohen's shoulders.
It was spikey and uncomfortable in all the ways it should've been and soft and comfortable in all the ways it should not have. Maybe his mind really was a prison of his own making, because it really wasn't so bad in the palace of blankets and pillows.
His face was carefully blank as Durin showed off the books he had been hoarding. Did dragons still hoard? Or was that a myth and a stereotype? Would it be harmful to ask?
“Do dragons hoard things?” Lohen asked. He could only assume he looked as though he had all the wonder of a child in his eyes.
Durin hummed, dusting off a book from the shelf. “Yes. But not all of them. I bet you could never tell what I hoard,” He giggled.
Lohen could. But he wanted Durin to say it himself, so he stayed silent.
“I hoard fairytales.” He smiled. That smile. Oh, that smile. If Lohen yearned for nothing but death, then Durin's smile was akin to that of a deadly plague. It was a horrible thing to compare a smile to.
“I'll write you one,” Lohen said softly. He didn't even know where to begin writing a fairytale. “About a dragon and a knight.”
“Will the knight slay the dragon?” Durin asked.
“No,” Lohen shook his head. “They'll become friends instead.”