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As they climbed the hill, Maroon almost wondered what they were doing, making the trip. Sure, it was the home of the only survivors of the Skeld Massacre, and their job demanded a good article about the event, but it wasn’t like Maroon wanted to sit in that stupid truck, drive up the hill, park in their driveway, and talk to people! They were hired to edit, not write, and even if this was supposedly a “test,” they wanted no part of it. They hated being stuck in this rut, forced to hop out and walk up to the door of a small house. In fact, maybe they’d just turn around and head back to normal society, far away from this tiny spot on the outskirts of Urbania! Not like it’d matter, their job sucked and--
“Pardon me, can I help you?” a polite voice asked, stopping them before they could get back in the car. Maroon froze up, turning around so slowly they could’ve sworn they heard stone scraping. A crewmate, slowly pulling down white sleeves, looked back at them. “Pardon the dirt, I was tending to the garden. I’ve found it rather helpful to spend time with nature.”
“Buhh. I. Uh-huh. Y-yeh. Ya.” Maroon blubbered, eyes wide. “Yeh… yes! No, I mean, I was just about to leave, but--”
“Are you kiddin’ me?! Another one of ‘em!?” another crewmate explained, sticking their head out of the chimney. They disappeared a moment later, but it only took five seconds for the door to slam open. “What’re ya doing here, huh? Another of those MIRA agents here to drag us back!? You wanna ruin our lives again?! Well, I got news for you, buddy, ‘cause--”
“No! No, no, I-- I’m not with MIRA!” Maroon pleaded, backing up from the door. “I’m Maroon-- I’m with the local paper! People were curious about what happened to you two on that ship.”
“Why do they wanna know about us? Are they gonna sell us out to MIRA? Ally with the gremlins?! Get us eaten by aliens?!?” The crewmate pulled out a wrench, holding it like a knife against the space right under Maroon’s visor. They gave a little whine, and the other stepped in.
“Now, Lime. I doubt they plan to sell us out. After all, none of the readers will know where we live, correct?”
“Y-yes, that’s true. I never include places in my articles,” Maroon said. Technically, not a lie-- they’d never done an article, only edited for others.
“And, with both of us here, the gremlins and aliens have to deal with the ways you’ve set things up to keep them out, as well as both of us keeping an eye out.”
Lime nodded slowly, narrowing their vision as they looked at Maroon. “...BUT--”
“But we’ll still check the customary ways too.” The calmer crewmate walked onto the porch with a small click every other step. When Maroon looked down, they saw why-- The crewmate was missing a leg, which had been replaced with a mechanical contraption. Lime hurried inside, slamming the door, before slamming it open once more. (Did they have any other setting with doors?) Before Maroon could say anything, Lime tossed a handful of salt at them.
The silence was deafening.
“...Uh, is that so I taste good?”
“Not an alien,” the others said in union. Lime stepped aside, crossing their arms.
“...I’ll go fix some drinks, Blue. You want coffee?”
“Uh.” Maroon looked at them. “...Can I get it with some sugar?”
A nod from Lime, and then they walked inside. The other crewmate, Blue, relaxed a bit. “I hope you’ll excuse the two of us for our behavior. It’s been difficult to adjust to the aftermath.”
“Are they usually like that?”
“Their passion truly is admirable, isn’t it?” Blue smiled dreamily. “I’ve always admired their willingness to stand up for what they believe, and they’ve been so determined to make sure we’re both safe… I’m lucky to be staying with them.”
Maroon stared, but didn’t say anything. Clearly Lime wasn’t the only weird one. Maroon almost wondered if they should make an excuse to hurry back to their truck and run for it, but Blue’s gentle hand was already guiding them inside the house, giving them no choice but to continue the interview.
At least the house was relatively nice inside. The mudroom was clean except for a pair of work boots and a rather messy, mostly white coat that had clearly seen better days. A vase sat on the coffee table, containing a bouquet of beautiful flowers of all colors, and before long, three mugs of coffee joined it as Lime set down their work. “One black, one with sugar, and one with salt.”
“Salt in the coffee? That sounds gross.”
“It’s actually rather common-- salt hides the bitter taste of the coffee, but a pinch isn't enough to spoil the taste, only take the edge off.” Blue took theirs.
Lime grinned. “Plus, it means aliens can’t drink it.”
“...Aliens can’t have salt??” Maroon asked, even more confused. “What? What the-- What do aliens have to do with SALT?!”
“It’ll make sense in a moment. After all, you did want our story, correct? I’m not certain how much help I’ll be, but although I was held captive, Lime was in the thick of it.” Blue turned to Lime. “Would you mind talking to our guest?”
“Eh… I can try some of it… But you aren’t getting my government name, or my address, or any of my information other than this.”
“I…” Maroon sighed, and pulled out their phone, turning on the recording. “No, none of that needs to be involved. Just tell me, what really happened on the Skeld? Everyone knows the two of you were the only survivors, the shipment was lost, and the rest of the crew apparently died in horrific accidents--”
“Accidents.” Lime rolled their eyes, scoffing. “Accidents. Yeah, that’s what MIRA wants you to believe.”
“The company would like to insist it was simple workplace accidents,” Blue rephrased. “I don’t believe any workplace accident could result in the sort of casualties we saw.”
“...What exactly did happen, then?”
“Aliens,” Lime said. “The ore crate was full of parasitic alien eggs.”
“Two hatched, and they infected two of our fellow crewmates. Orange and Green… Unfortunately, I couldn’t save them. White was the first to die, and though I investigated the entire crew, it took me too long to recognize the situation. Just as I was about to take my discoveries to the others, I was ambushed, and…” Blue looked down at their leg. “...Orange thought it apt to take my leg so I wouldn’t be able to inform the rest, but not to kill me, as not having a medic on board would be against company policy. I don’t know if I’d call it luck or misfortune.”
“From there, everyone started accusing each other since they thought Blue was dead. I told ‘em it was aliens, but everyone just thought I was crazy for it, even with the scans! So I tried to make a plan to stay alive, only for Orange to have a mask slip when they were after Cyan. Everyone saw it. They tried to act like nothing happened, but no one believed ‘em. Cyan… didn’t make it much longer, anyway. Someone cut the power and oxygen, and while they were fixing it… They were killed.”
“So… By then, White and Cyan were dead, and Blue was missing?”
“Orange got kicked out the trash chute,” Lime added. “But yeah. Everyone started arguing about if it was Yellow or Red who offed Cyan, and… I left before anyone else was voted out, but by the time I was back, we’d lost Brown and Yellow, and Black’s body was in pieces in the cafeteria. Green and I barely kept Purple from killing Red over it, and we went to fix the reactor. Purple and Green got the panels, and I put in the code.” Lime messed with their bandana. “Next thing I knew, Blue was crawling in with salt, yelling at us to get away from Green.”
“By that point, I already knew who the two infected crewmates were. It was only luck that led me to the salt discovery-- While investigating White's death, I accidentally spilled the remains of my coffee on a sample of the pink substance I was analyzing, which caused it to disappear. I promptly tried water, coffee, and salt separately to see which part could take care of the alien's secretions.”
“Never use that word again please,” Maroon said, gagging at the thought. “That's worse than moist. That's so much worse.”
“The salt immediately dissolves the-- pardon me, the… Hm.”
“Goop.”
“I suppose that works. The goop. I suppose it has the same effect on the aliens as it would on slugs, since both have slimelike goop. Salt draws out the water through osmosis, causing the creature to dehydrate and perish. By the time I could tell them, it was almost too late. Green… The alien controlling them…”
“Purple got bitten in half, and Green got away.”
“...Yes. That.” Blue shook their head. “I told Lime and Red what I knew, and we tried to stop Green, but I wasn't much help.”
“You were plenty of help!” Lime lightly punched Blue. “You told us their weakness! From there, Red and I took on the alien. It got Red, tearing them apart right in front of me, but I managed to open the hole in the ship, getting everything out of storage. The eggs, the alien… the bodies…”
“It’s truly just luck that let us survive,” Blue said, taking over for Lime. “If Lime hadn’t survived, then I doubt I would have. I like to think the same is true for the other way around.”
“It is.” Lime stood, taking the three empty cups from the table. “I’m gonna check on the worms.”
Maroon blinked, trying to reorient after everything they’d just been told. “...You two survived an alien massacre by luck. Is that… Is that right?”
“Pretty much.” Lime turned on their foot, walking out of the room and straight out the back of the kitchen. Blue watched them go.
“How much of that is real?” Maroon asked. “Because, uh… they don’t seem--”
“All of it,” Blue interrupted firmly. “All of it is true.” They stood, adjusting their shirt. “I understand that Lime may seem strange to you, but they truly do mean well. All they want is to be safe, and with everything the two of us have seen, they’ve been given nothing but reasons to worry.”
Maroon looked down. “...I mean, I get it, I guess, but… well…”
Blue didn't bother to answer, only shook their head in a way that reminded Maroon of being scolded ever so gently by a good friend. “I should get back to gardening as well. I believe you likely have more than enough material for your article.”
“But-- but--” Maroon stammered, looking for a reason to ask Blue to stay. “But I would need details! I only really got a summary of what happened--”
“I apologize. I'd like to never think of any of the events that transpired there, so recounting it with any detail is difficult for me. If you continue to distrust Lime, then the two of us have nothing to talk about either.”
Maroon tried to come up with something smart to say. Finally, they picked up the recorder, turning it off.
“Thank you for your time, Blue. Tell Lime I said thanks as well.”
“No need, I hear ya fine!” Lime called from outside. Blue chuckled, muffling their laugh behind a hand.
“Good luck, Maroon. Stay safe. MIRA already has enough blood on their hands; I doubt they'd say no to adding yours.”