Chapter Text
Nobody likes early mornings. Anyone who says they do is lying. Who would want to drag themself from the brief escape of sleep back into a world painted in greyscale? Riki certainly didn’t.
The cold air hit his bare arms immediately as he flung the blanket off of himself, knowing full well that he would unintentionally drift back to sleep if he didn’t force his body to wake up properly. Besides, the other members had been particularly tired lately, what with comeback preparations, and Riki thought it would be nice if he got things ready for them so that they could relax a bit this morning.
Grabbing a miscellaneous pile of slightly rumpled clothes from his wardrobe, Riki shuffled as quietly as he could towards the bathroom, slipping in and closing the door softly behind him. As he did, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror on the wall—hair ruffled and eyes slightly bloodshot due to him sleeping only four hours that night—and ducked his head immediately, making a mental note to tame his hair before starting his day. Changing quickly and throwing some cold water on his face to wake himself up—not forgetting to grab a comb from the cabinet and try and flatten down his unruly hair—Riki stepped out, feeling fresher, and headed to the kitchen, resolving to start with food.
He found the room empty, the dorm still dark and quiet, and set about making some food.
Twenty minutes later, Riki had eggs cooking on the hob, and seven plates laid out with warm toast steaming lightly, filling the room with a warm, familiar scent. A small swell of contentment blossomed in his chest, and he imagined his hyungs’ surprised but pleased reaction when they saw what he had done. Riki had always felt that he contributed the least—particularly as the youngest—so it felt nice to do something worthwhile; something to help the others.
It was then that a bleary eyed, barely awake Jay stumbled into the room, stopping short when he realised Riki was already there.
“Riki?” His voice was heavy with sleep, but he didn’t sound too happy, and Riki deflated a little. That didn’t matter though, he told himself, he didn’t do it for the praise, he did it to make his members’ lives easier.
“Morning, Jay hyung.” He tried to sound as upbeat and cheerful as possible, hoping to ease the frown that seemed to be permanently etched into the older boy’s temple. Jay only hummed in response, however, walking towards the kitchen sink, filling himself a glass of water before sitting down on the nearest stool.
Riki suppressed a sigh. He had hoped, perhaps childishly, that him preparing everything this morning would have eased some of the tension that had settled like a storm cloud over the group with their demanding schedules recently, but it all seemed to be in vain.
Nevertheless, Riki grabbed a still steaming plate and placed the warm food in front of Jay, lightly taking his glass from where it was settled by his elbow, refilling it and placing it next to the food. Jay said nothing, but wordlessly began eating the food, and Riki decided to take that as a win.
The other members slowly began trickling into the room in various stages of exhausted, and Riki placed a plate in front of each. A couple shot him grateful smiles, but most were too tired to register what he had done, but everyone began to eat the food, and warmth spread through Riki’s body as he watched his members eating well.
Once certain that everyone was content and had what they needed, Riki grabbed his own plate—now cold, but he didn’t mind—and began eating. They ate in comfortable silence, until Jungwon glanced at his phone and sighed wearily.
“The car’s on its way. Come on, we need to get ready.” Riki winced at how tired his leader sounded, and immediately resolved to do more. He needed to help his hyungs more.
With a few grumbles and groans, everybody dragged themselves up, discarding their empty plates in an ominous pile in the sink before separating to get ready for practice.
Having already packed his bag and gotten dressed, Riki decided that he may as well do the dishes, knowing that nobody would want to do them after practice.
Rolling up his sleeves, Riki ran some hot water and set about scrubbing the dishes, piling each carefully on the drying rack beside him. He would tidy them away later, he decided, rather than doing it now, aware that they would have to leave soon.
“Ni-ki!” Jake’s voice broke the silence in the dorm and Riki jolted out of the contented daze he had entered from the repetitive task. Drying his hands as fast as he could, Riki stepped out into the hall, grabbing his bag on the way, and followed Jake outside who was waiting for him at the door.
“Ready?” Jake was frowning. That wasn’t good. Riki swallowed down an anxious lump in his throat and nodded.
“Yes, hyung.” Jake nodded and turned away, walking down the stairs while Riki followed.
He could tell from Jake and Jay’s moods that this was going to be a long one. Practice was tiring, but they were often able to have fun; lately it seemed that everyone was so stressed that the atmosphere became cold and uncomfortable, members often snapping at each other out of tiredness. Riki tried to stay out of it, but sometimes got caught in the crossfire, leaving a tense feeling between the group much of the time.
He supposed it made sense, and he wasn’t upset at his hyungs, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t leave a slightly sour taste in his mouth every time it happened.
Jake and Riki reached the bottom of the stairs, and found the others had already gotten in the car, leaving two seats; one next to Jungwon, and one between Heeseung and Sunoo.
“Jake hyung!” Jungwon leaned forward, calling his hyung, and Jake smiled, hopping in the car to sit next to the boy and draping an arm languidly across his shoulders. Riki smiled a little at the sight, but then sighed. That left him the middle seat.
It wasn’t that he minded exactly, but it meant being jammed between two people for the whole drive, and it always left him feeling somewhat claustrophobic. Shaking off the feeling, Riki ducked into the car, setting himself as carefully as he could in the seat in an attempt not to jostle the boys who were both immersed in their phones.
As soon as he sat down however, Sunoo groaned, shuffling around.
“Ni-ki,” he whined, “you take up so much space!”
Riki let out a disgruntled squawk, and elbowed the other boy, who only huffed and turned back to his phone.
For reasons he couldn’t quite name, the comment left a hollow in his chest, like someone had reached a hand into his chest and stolen something from inside him. He knew Sunoo was only teasing him, but something about the way he said it bothered Riki. Maybe he really did think that?
Riki shook his head firmly, ignoring the questioning glance he got from Sunghoon at the motion. No. It was just a jibe. Nothing more.
Riki allowed his mind to drift for the rest of the journey, and soon the car was stopping in front of the building.
One by one, they filtered out of the car, and Riki breathed a silent sigh of relief as he escaped the mildly suffocating closeness.
They were silent as they made their way to the practice room, and Riki felt a niggling discomfort in his gut at the tension fogging the air between the members. He wanted to pretend that he didn’t think there would be any arguments today, but he knew that wasn’t true.
With the way the morning had been going, and the pointed silence between some members, he suspected it wouldn’t be long before something broke out amongst the group.
He was right. They were barely twenty minutes into a choreography run through when Jay’s sharp voice broke the quiet concentration the others had slipped into.
“For god’s sake!” Riki winced at how loud his hyung’s voice was. Whenever Jay got this mad, it never ended well.
Heeseung paused the music, and all eyes turned to Jay, who was glowering at Sunghoon, who in turn looked positively seething.
Riki gulped, not liking the look on his hyungs’ faces, and he couldn’t deny he was glad when Jungwon stepped forward between the two, a bracing hand held up towards each of them.
“Jay hyung?” His voice was questioning, but firm, his leader mode fully switched on at the prospect of conflict.
“What?” Jay spat, obviously unfazed by Jungwon’s tone. Definitely not going well. Riki thought sourly.
“Don’t speak to Jungwon like that.” Heeseung joined the angry group, his tone calm, but his eyebrows were furrowed in clear agitation.
“Yes Jay.” Sunghoon’s tone was mocking, and this appeared to be the final straw for Jay. He shoved his way past Jungwon and deliberately allowed himself to slam into Sunghoon’s shoulder as he stormed out of the practice room.
An uneasy silence followed, and nobody seemed to know what to say to break it. Jungwon dropped his head, and quietly followed Jay out the door, Heeseung following a moment later.
One by one, the others flitted out, until it was only Riki left in the silent room, tall mirrors filling the empty space with more versions of him, staring back at him blankly.
And Riki felt sick.