Chapter Text
With everything and nothing, you came.
Chuuya knew what he was getting himself into when he first started to date Dazai. His.....quirky tendencies, the morning mood swings, his depression. He knew it all. He felt as though he knew Dazai better than everyone - better than himself.
During the first few months, Chuuya learnt of Dazai's abandonment insecurities. Since then, he made sure not to leave Dazai alone for too long.
So when Chuuya was sent away for a mission that went longer than planned, he had only one person in his mind: his boyfriend. Feet aching, back hurting and arms bruised, he trudged toward the door.
"Osamu, I'm home," Chuuya slurred. No reply. That's odd, Chuuya thought. Dazai usually came and clinged into him like his life depended on it. "Osamu if this is another one of you twisted little games again I swear I'll break up with you - for real this time." Chuuya never actually meant this; he loved Dazai more than the poor guy would ever know. He had put his life on the line for that man countless times before and Chuuya would do it as many times as he had to to see Dazai alive and happy. Oh how Chuuya longed to see Dazai be truly happy. At least he was getting better.
Usually, that empty threat would get Dazai out of whatever rabbit hole he was hiding in. "This is really starting to get on my nerves now," Chuuya muttered under his breath. Slowly, like the slug he was, Chuuya checked every room, every nook and cranny, every cuboard and even under the bed, yet still Dazai was no where to be seen.
Chuuya increasingly became more and more worried ever second that he couldn't find Dazai. He wasnt't used to the defeaning silence that lingered in the chaotic soukoku house. His heart raced and longed for his lover. So where could he be?
There was one location Chuuya hadn't checked yet: the basement.
Slowly and gently, he twisted the door knob.
Reluctantly, the door revealed the basement.
A chill went down Chuuya's spine as a breeze escaped the chill room.
The warmth that was Chuuya slowly dulled as he limped in the room.
"Osamu, you in there?" he asked softly.
No response. Of course there fucking wasn't. Don't beat yourself up about this. That stupid mackeral is probably out with the ADA or tormenting another poor woman, going on about some 'double suicide' bullshit. Though Chuuya knew that Dazai wouldn't go and kill himslef. Dazai promised himself that he wouldn't when they reunited after four years.
"Osamu, where are you darling," Chuuya said softly, "If you are there please come out."
Silence responded.
"OSAMU THIS ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE WHERE ARE YOU. YOU BETTER NOT BE PULLING A STUPID STUNT OR ESLE I'LL....."
Chuuya's eyes flickered to the only source of light in the room.
A chill went down his spine.
The little flame in Chuuya's heart had devolved into a small spark.
A chord latching onto a support beam had a vice grip on a limp, dangling lean figure.
The once brown, messy hair was always effortlessly imaculate now looked like paper strips which shrouded a face that was once a bubbly persona. The tan-yet-pale skin which always blossomed red when Chuuya would pull away from those swollen, rosy lips (which now were tinted blue and curved upwards as if it where some sort of taunt) and look down to see what a mess of a man he created before diving down once more now were dyed a sickly, pale yellow. The fabrics that adorned the man that once helped to estbalish his soft looks mocked Chuuya, becoming the gohst of the man that would now forever haunt him.
There was no deniying it now: Dazai was no longer human. No longer in the living world. No longer with Chuuya.
A droplet fell onto the ground. And another. And another.
Untill a dam of salty tears fell from Chuuya's face as he fell onto the ground shaking uncontrollably.
"Why, why?" he cried, "You. Fucking. Promised me. Damn it."
A blood-curling scream flooded the room.
The light of the spark dimmed with ever second.
Chuuya's side slowly became damper and warmer every second. He still hadn't tended to his injuries. But how could he? He was a man, a very pathetic one, grieving the loss of his beloved. He couldn't care less if his skin was becoming paler every passing moment due to blood loss.
Suddenly, Chuuya lunged forwards, hissing at the pain from his ribs, and clutched onto the brown cloth dangling from the swaying corpse infront of him, soaking the cloth in his tears. He hesitantly turned his head upwards, seeing that teasing smile that would taunt him during joint missions and would beg him for cuddles or to stop teasing him when they got intimate. Of course that masochist was smiling during his last moment, Chuuya thought. He then slowly looke at Dazai's neck where a thick red was still oozing out of his neck - like pus would when you would burst a pimple - tainting his badages a deep crimson. Around that area, thin strands of rope would stab into the open wound, turing the flesh black and blue. This must have been recent, fucking damn it I could have saved him if I wasn't so fucking usless.
Cowarding behind the corpse was a low, wooden table. Chuuya crawled to it, and found a tablet laying on top of it. He unlocked it and found a video.
"Hey, if you're watching this, I have hopefully said goodbye to this hell of world. If you don't know who I am how dare you not know the most trusted member of the Armed Detective Agency." Chuuya chuckled, no one ever believed Dazai when he said it but it always lifted everyone's moods. At least he was still a little true to himslef in his final moments.
"Well if I must I will introduce myself. Hiya kings, queens, monarchs and everything-in-between. My name is Dazai. Now, how comes a suicide enthusiast like me had avoided death for twenty-two years. Well, simple, I just hate pain." Fucking liar. Both Chuuya and Dazai knew that the latter would plead to be chocked when things got a bit heated.
"But today, to hell with pain. My beloved parnter, Chuuya, a port mafia executive who I loved ever since the day we met has passed." No I didn't, Chuuya was now suspicous of the situation. "
"Now, what is a law enforcment adjacent doing around someone so high ranking in the port mafia. Simple, I was the Demon Progidy. We met during our mafia days and our love still thrived after my betrayal.
"My dear dog knew I hated being apart from him for long. However, this mission was different from the others. He was away for a week longer than usual. However, I satyed strong, keeping my oath to him that I would wait and endure this torture known as living. Today, I got a call from the head of the Port Mafia, Mori. Ughhhh I hate saying his name. He told me that Chuuya died trying to protect his men in the mission. That was pretty believeable since he was never this late and like a dog, Chuuya is loyal."
"I swear if he calls me his dog one more time-" Chuuya chuckled before bursting in a fit of giggles.
"However, that isn't beliveable. Mori always loved his little double black duo and no matter what, I will never be swayed back into the Port Mafia again. Not after what he did to Odasaku. I knew he was lying and told him he had to try harder next time. What took me by suprise however is him saying that he planned for me not believeing him. S-so, he showed me Chuuya's severed hand. I knew he died then." Dazai started to cry, the cracks in his facade that he shows in the agency now beyond repair.
"Osamu....." Chuuya called out.
"I'm sorry Yosano, that you have to now survive living in a world with Mori as well. I'm sorry sweet Kyouka that I can't help you get over the mafia. They really do like traumatising orphans huh. I'm sorry Akutagawa that I mistreated you. I am so proud of you. never let anyone's opinions sway who you are. I am completely in the worng for that and I hope somewhere in your heart you can find it not to hate me. I'm sorry Kunikida, that I could never care about everything as much as you do. I am sorry Atsushi that I could never live up to your expectations. If you ever found out about the real me and the crimes of my past, I am certain you would hate me.
"I am sorry everyone, that you had to know me. And last of all, I'm sorry Chuuya. I am sorry that I am not string enough to live in a world without you. I don't want to see the sakura fall without you nor do I want to rise in the mornings ans not see your face. I am sorry that you fell for the piece of shit that I am and that I was selfish enough to accept your love.
"Yosano, if you're watching this, kill that son of a bitch Mori for me. The Port Mafia all hate, trust me.
"And Chibi, I love you."
As the recording ended, the screen became wet, just like the trenchcoat. "Damn it you mackerel, that isn't being selfish. It's just being human."
Chuuya, fealing faint from the blood loss knew that he would die if he didn't get medical atention. The pain was getting bad, and fast. As swiftly as he could, Chuuya reached untill he felt a cool, hard cover. He put the object in front of him, the shiny, black paint relfecting the flickering light bulb.
"Osamu, I don't want to live in a world without you too. Heh, we're the same in that sense." At that moment, Chuuya felt a familiar warmth envelope him again, "Oh boy I'm hallucinating right now huh, just how fucking desperate am I?" Chuuya let out a weak chuckle.
With everyhting and nothing, you came and left.
Pointing the black object at his head, Chuuya whispered, "Osamu, I love you to."
His fingers then pressed the trigger.
The flame that was once Chuuya Nakahara was now a pile of ashes.