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Our Favorite Parasitic Gremlins

Summary:

Luffy nearly dies and apparently now has a soulmate.

The Straw Hats spend months trying to determine who Luffy is bonded with and where on the evil scale Trafalgar Law lands.

Luffy acquires a grumpy surgeon friend, Law acquires a begrudging friend group, and neither of them realizes or cares that they're participating in a soulmate story.

Or: The least romantic soulmate AU imaginable featuring two stubborn idiots.

Notes:

I am tagging this as Luffy/Law pairing because technically it is. But don't read this if you want romance. They are not romantic.

Chapter Text

Nobody had much left to say.

Nami was back and forth between pacing the waiting area and aggressively forcing herself to sit down and pretend to be patient.

Usopp was asleep after exhausting himself with stress, his head resting on Zoro's shoulder.

Zoro had planted himself in the seat nearest the doors, arms crossed tightly, unmoving.

Sanji had gone on a snack and coffee trip three separate times and returned looking progressively more homicidal after each journey. 

Robin sat quietly with a book in her lap, though she had not turned a page in a long while.

There was a lingering fear that they were waiting to be told their best friend had not made it. Everyone's nerves were frayed after hours without updates.

Luffy had been in surgery for nine hours at this point.

When the doors finally pushed open, Luffy’s gathering of friends all turned. 

A tall man in dark scrubs stepped through without looking at any of them. Heavy shadows beneath sharp eyes. His movements had the mechanical precision of someone running entirely on stubbornness.

A nurse followed close behind him, expression thunderous as she passed him a pink clipboard loaded with papers and decorated with stickers on the back.

“You are not leaving the hospital on that motorcycle,” she snapped.

“I absolutely am.” he grabbed the clipboard. 

“You’ve been awake for over a day.”

“I’m aware. I was there for it.”

The nurse glared. “It will take maybe five minutes to just call a ride."

“That sounds like five extra minutes before I will be in bed.”

“Stubborn.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The surgeon finally glanced up from the chart in his hands as he approached the group.

His eyes landed on them.

He stopped walking.

“…What the hell is this?”

Usopp blinked awake. “Uh.”

“Ikkaku,” the surgeon said flatly, “you said there were a couple of visitors. Did you forget how to count? Maybe you're the one that needs sleep.”

“I’m pretty sure what I said was that there were at least a couple,” the nurse replied immediately in an aggressive whisper.

“You’re ‘pretty sure’?” The surgeon said mockingly while smirking at the nurse.

“I swear, if you start talking about using confident language again.”

The surgeon’s lip curled up further with his apparent amusement. He rubbed at his neck before muttering, “Some other time. I'm tired as hell, let's get this over with.”

“You could try being less rude to the lady helping you,” Sanji suddenly snapped.

The surgeon looked at him with a brief hint of surprise under the complete exhaustion. 

“She can handle it.” he affirmed.

Sanji glared at him, “That doesn’t mean you should talk to women like that.”

The surgeon’s expression flattened further somehow.

“I am an advocate for equality. I don’t treat her differently because she has tits.”

Ikkaku barked out a sharp laugh while Sanji looked seconds away from committing a felony.

Before anyone could continue arguing, the surgeon shifted his attention toward Zoro.

“You’re the emergency contact, Roronoa Zoro?” he asked, glancing down tiredly at his clipboard.

Zoro straightened. “Yeah.”

The surgeon crossed the remaining distance and flipped to the front of the pages before continuing immediately, voice clipped and professional.

“I’m doctor Trafalgar, I performed the surgery on Luffy. The surgery was successful. Barely. Your friend had severe internal bleeding and multiple damaged organs. Coded several times. Honestly impressive he is alive, let alone remotely functional.”

Usopp made a weak choking sound.

“He is stable currently,” the surgeon continued. “That does not mean he’s fine. If he ignores recovery restrictions, tears his stitches, or decides to attempt to climb out the window again, he’ll end up back on an operating table.”

“He tried to jump out the window?” Nami questioned, alarmed.

“More or less.”

“I feel like I should be more surprised,” Usopp admitted weakly.

The surgeon flipped through several pages.

“Medication schedule is outlined here. Restricted diet for at least two weeks. Limited activity for longer than that. He is not to consume alcohol, perform any strenuous physical activities, no climbing, no running, and he should be supervised while medicated.”

He circled a few things on the pages before passing the clipboard to Zoro and dropping the pen on top. Then, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Clearly, whatever energy had kept him upright through surgery had finally started giving out.

“He woke up earlier than expected and we had to sedate him again. He will be out for a bit yet but you can visit once he’s transferred to recovery,” he said. “Not all at once. He needs rest, not a parade.”

His eyes flicked across the group again, lingering briefly on Sanji, who still looked deeply offended on Ikkaku’s behalf.

Then the surgeon sighed through his nose.

“I’m going home before somebody raises my blood pressure enough to qualify as a medical emergency.” he informed Ikkaku.

Without another word, he turned sharply and started down the hallway.

Ikkaku called after him. “Get a ride from someone!”

“I live fifteen minutes away. Try and stop me.” he responded.

“And what if you fall asleep during that fifteen minutes?”

The man shoved his hands into his pockets without slowing down.

“Guess I’ll die.”

He disappeared around the corner and Ikkaku sighed deeply before turning toward Zoro. 

“Can I have those back please, sir?” Ikkaku asked, motioning to the clipboard and pen that Law had stolen from her.

Zoro returned it and she pulled out the papers that he actually needed and gave them to him. 

“So that guy did Luffy's surgery?” Sanji asked, “Can't believe how rude he was to you. You shouldn't have to put up with that.”

Ikkaku stared a bit wide eyed momentarily. “It really isn't like that.” She brushed the worry aside. “Doctor Trafalgar is great to work under. Like I mentioned, he has been on shift for over a day at this point. Your friend's surgery took over nine hours. There are very few surgeons who could have pulled off what he did. With skill like that, he is allowed to be a butthead.” she explained, shrugging.

Sanji did not agree with the idea that some guy's poor behavior toward her was being excused just because he was talented. It didn't sit well with him, but he kept quiet, not wanting to argue with this friendly nurse.

“On that note, I am terribly sorry for our unprofessional behavior. The patient- Luffy…your friend..” she started, hesitating a bit. “It was a very difficult surgery. Doctor Trafalgar resuscitated him four times. No one thought he would live, except Law- doctor Trafalgar…” she paused and took a moment to read the room before deciding at this point they had mostly chucked professionalism out the window. “He told them to fuck off and your friend is stable now for it.”

The group took that in with mixed emotions.

Nami wasn't sure whether that was reassuring or deeply concerning.

Usopp looked even more alarmed than before.

Ikkaku quickly filled them in on visiting hours and gave them directions to the room Luffy was being moved to before she took her leave.

The hallway fell silent for a moment.

Then Usopp whispered, “That nurse is in denial and that surgeon absolutely has bodies buried somewhere.”

Robin hummed softly, thoughtful.

Nami exhaled slowly. “At least he seems competent. He kept Luffy alive.”

“Competent?” Sanji repeated. “The man has the bedside manner of a serial killer.” he retorted, completely ignoring that the nurse, Ikkaku, had been just as bad.

Zoro looked down at the paperwork in his hands. “He saved Luffy. That's what matters.”

-

Luffy didn’t move. The machines beside him kept time in small, indifferent signals. The bandages across his torso made him look more contained than healed, like the world had decided he needed boundaries.

Nami stood at the bedside without speaking for a long time.

Usopp lingered near the door, still struggling to accept what they were seeing.

Sanji’s arms were crossed tightly, gaze fixed on Luffy’s injuries with something that wasn’t quite anger and wasn’t quite fear either.

Zoro was closest.

They had finished discussing plans and the room had fallen silent for a moment. 

Zoro looked down at Luffy’s wrist.

“…Since when does he have a tattoo?”

That pulled attention.

Nami stepped forward. “What?”

Zoro pointed to Luffy’s wrist. A dark band circled it. The mark looked odd, like a tattoo that was off somehow. Like it had not settled properly.

Nami frowned. "I've never seen that.”

“That is definitely new,” Usopp agreed.

Sanji leaned in slightly. “Sure it isn't a bruise?”

Zoro shook his head once. “Doesn’t look like it.”

They all examined the marking. 

Robin had gone still.

She stepped closer and gently lifted Luffy’s wrist just enough to look more closely, careful not to disturb the equipment around him.

“…I see,” she said quietly.

Sanji glanced at her. “You know what it is?”

Robin did not answer immediately.

Instead, she rolled her sleeve up.

A faint band circled her wrist the same as Luffy’s, though not as dark.

Usopp blinked. “You know what it is?”

“I do,” Robin said. “Mine has been present since I was very young. It never developed though.”

“Oh! I have heard of this!” Nami suddenly explained, excited. “A soul ring!”

Zoro’s eyes shifted between the two markings.

“…and what is that supposed to be?”

Robin’s voice stayed measured.

“The phenomenon is rare enough that most documentation is incomplete or considered unreliable, but in some records, it is described as a soul manifestation mark.”

Sanji frowned. “Soul manifestation? What does that even mean?”

Robin’s attention returned to Luffy’s wrist.

“When two compatible souls come into proximity, the mark supposedly reacts,” she said. “It becomes darker. More defined.” she gestured to his wrist.

Nami’s eyes narrowed slightly. 

She looked between Robin's wrist and Luffy's.

"Wait."

Her eyes widened.

"That means he's already met his match."

Robin gave a small nod. “That would be the popular interpretation.”

A pause.

Then Usopp spoke more carefully. “A soulmate… for Luffy? Like a romantic partner?"

Nami’s expression shifted slightly.

“If that’s true,” she said slowly, “couldn’t we use this to find whoever it is?”

Sanji looked at her. “How?”

Nami nodded toward Luffy’s wrist.

“They are supposed to have one as well.”

Silence settled again, heavier than before.

The idea lingered, unshaped but present.

Robin broke the pause gently.

“At the moment,” she said, “that seems unnecessary.”

Nami glanced at her.

Robin’s gaze stayed on Luffy.

“He is the priority,” she continued. “Not the match of his mark.”

Usopp nodded quickly. “Yeah. I mean, he just lost his brother and almost died.”

Sanji exhaled through his nose, arms still crossed. “Not the greatest time for this soulmate nonsense.”

No one disagreed.

Nami's attention returned briefly to Luffy’s wrist, then to his face.

“Of course, but, we can keep an eye out at least,” she said finally.

The room settled again after that.

Not resolved.

Just paused.