Work Text:
PETAK 22:47
Krivi Put was noticeably quieter than it had been an hour ago. The students ebbed and flowed but the crowd had thinned enough that conversations no longer blended into one continuous wall of noise. Glasses still clinked loudly and a group of engineering students were arguing passionately about something as they smoked but the cool night air flowed past Lovro’s face as he exhaled softly
Lovro was sitting opposite Luka as he slowly worked his way through a beer, something to nurse on after Mario had peer pressured them into shots a few hours earlier. Lovro was pleasantly buzzed and he was enjoying the rare experience of being somewhere without exams hanging over his head. Lovro swirled his drink around in his glass and eyed it carefully, it tasted like piss and Lovro made a mental note to order the second cheapest beer next time he went up to the bar
Beside him, Luka looked thoughtful which Lovro knew usually was a bad sign. Luka was decidedly not a deep thinker despite being pretty smart so any time he pondered life deeply, he looked like he was about to have a brain aneurysm. Currently, he was biting his lip and staring past Lovro’s shoulder, the same thing he’s been doing for the last 5 minutes and Lovro was starting to get concerned
Lovro took another sip of the piss flavoured beer and yearned for backup. Jakov had only been here briefly before he had to pick Eva up from the airport, Mario ditched them fourty five minutes ago because Tina wanted to see him and Ivan was having dinner with his parents and was never here in the first place. That had left Lovro and Luka alone, which, until now, had been filled with shots and flipcup games but now Luka drummed his fingers against the table and pinched his brows together until finally, he looked up
"Can I ask you something?" he said and Lovro hummed immediately
“Sure” he said lightly but immediately winced at how not light he sounded and Luka snorted then his smile faded slightly and then pointed at Lovro
"Don't overthink the question" he said seriously and it was Lovro’s turn to snort
"That is never a reassuring start" Lovro replied
“Yeah” Luka admitted “And the fact I’m even asking this question means I’ve been overthinking it”
Lovro nodded and for a moment Luka looked like he was considering backing out but then he took a sip of his drink followed by and even bigger drag from his cigarette
"How did you know you were gay?" he asked and Lovro blinked
Ah
Honestly, Lovro should have been expecting this, the signs had been there for months. In the year they had been at University, Luka and Marko had become nearly inseparable and it had become painfully obvious that Luka had a crush on Marko. At least it seemed to be obvious to everyone other than Luka; Jakov, Mario and even Ivan had all talked about it. Lovro tried to shut those discussions down pretty quickly because he knew how much he would have hated people talking about him like that a year ago but even Lovro couldn’t deny how obvious it was
Luka laughed too loudly at Marko’s jokes, smiled too brightly when Marko walked into the room and Lovro had never seen Luka try so hard to impress someone until he was around Marko
Lovro took a sip of his own beer
"I realised I liked Ivan when I was thirteen" he replied and Luka nodded seriously "But realising it and accepting it were two very different things"
Luka snorted "Yeah, you were a homophobe" and Lovro threw a cigarette but into his curly hair
"But even when I was pretending otherwise," Lovro continued "there was one thing I always knew for sure"
"What?" Luka asked
"I never really liked girls" Lovro said “even when I tried to”
Luka stared into his drink "Right" he nodded and something in his tone made Lovro look up
"That's where things get confusing?" Lovro asked and Luka nodded
“You don’t need to not like girls to like guys” Lovro said carefully “Ivan still likes girls”
“Yeah, I know” Luka said immediately “Like I know there’s bi and pan and stuff” Lovro nodded and Luka took a moment to speak again
"I'm not sure" he sighed “that I like girls”
Lovro tried to keep his expression neutral as he waited for Luka to continue
"But I don’t know" Luka admitted exacerbated and Lovro’s brows furrowed
"What do you mean?"
Luka sighed and ran a hand through his hair and took another drink of his beer
"You sound really certain" Luka said “But i’ve liked girls before”
Lovro frowned and nodded "But?"
"But I don’t know if I actually liked them" he admitted “I just sort of went with it” and Lovro couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, that actually sounded very Luka
"I've slept with girls" Luka continued “I know everyone likes to give me shit about saying I’ve slept with girls in Split but I actually have”
"I know" Lovro nodded
"And I liked it” Luka said, frowning
Lovro nodded "And?"
Luka shrugged "It was nice" he said, voice lilting slightly higher on the last word
The hesitation was impossible to miss and Lovro tilted his head
"Nice?" he asked carefully
"Yeah, like it was fine" Luke shrugged “No, I mean it was good”
"That's your review?" Lovro raised an eyebrow and Luka laughed
"What else am I supposed to say?"
Lovro took another drink "Just doesn’t seem like a very enthusiastic description"
“I liked it” Luka said and then frowned “I think”
Lovro took a deep breath
“Look, I won’t go into details” Lovro started “but I would never describe sex with Ivan as fine or nice”
“How would you describe it then?” Luka frowned “no details”
Lovro smiled a toothy grin and sighed dreamily
“Mindblowing” he replied and Luka tilted his head and looked confused
“Luka” Lovro asked slowly “Have you ever had sex that you’d describe as ‘mindblowing’?”
Luka chewed his lip and shook his head
“It’s fine” Luka repeated “but I thought that everyone was sort of exaggerating”
Lovro sighed deeply and looked at Luka’s confused expression, he felt fondness spread through every fibre of his being. Oh Luka
"The point is that when people talk about sex, they're usually more enthusiastic than 'it was nice'"
Luka looked thoughtful “I always thought Jakov and Mario and you and Ivan were just being dramatic”
Lovro snorted “We’re not”
"Huh" Luka mused and Lovro nodded
"I've never felt that" Luka admitted
Lovro hummed casually and he decided to choose his next words carefully
"Do you mean you've never felt that about anyone?" he said slowly “Or about girls”
Luka opened his mouth but he closed it again and paused
"I don't know"
Lovro nodded "It’s okay not to know"
Luka hummed and Lovro tilted his head
“Can I ask you a question” Lovro asked and Luka nodded
“Why aren’t you asking Ivan about this?” and Luka avoided eye contact and shrugged
“Ivan always makes fun of me” Luka admitted quietly and Lovro felt even more fondness spread in his chest as Luka looked like a little kid tattling on his brother
“Oh Luka” Lovro sighed smiling “you know he would take this seriously” and Luka nodded furiously
“I know, I know” he agreed “But Ivan and I know each other too well” and Lovro looked confused
“I can’t speak to him now” Luka said “I bet he’s always known everything and I don’t want to deal with that”
Lovro nodded, the idea of someone telling him that they always knew Lovro was gay when he came out, Lovro would have peeled his own skin off. In the short silence, Luka finished his beer and immediately walked to the bar and came back with another beer for him and Lovro. The second cheapest option and even if Lovro was slightly concerned at Luka avoiding a difficult conversation, he was very grateful he didn’t have to drink another large glass of piss beer
“Do you like Marko like that?” Lovro asked after a long silence and Luka’s head snapped up
“This conversation isn’t about Marko” he asked and Lovro gave him a look and Luka snorted
"Okay" he said "It might be a little bit about Marko" and Lovro grinned widely
"Might be?" he asked in a singsong voice and Luka’s faced flushed bright red
Lovro burst out laughing and Luka followed closely behind, he put his head in his hands and groaned as he laughed
"Oh fuck" Luka said “I like him so much” he said and Lovro grinned even wider
"That's great" he said and pulled Luka’s head up from where he was laying it on the table and banging it softly
Luka blinked suspiciously “You hate Marko”
Lovro sighed “I don’t hate Marko” and Luka raised an eyebrow
“I don’t” Lovro said unconvincingly
“He’s-” Lovro sighed and looked Luka in the eye “a really really nice guy” Luka shrugged
“And he definitely likes you back” Lovro said and Luka’s face flushed a deeper shade of red as he shrugged
The conversation drifted for a little bit after that, they talked about classes and exams but Luka still seemed distracted and after fifteen minutes and another large beer drank and ordered, Lovro finally rolled his eyes
“What are you thinking about” he asked and Luka blinked
“Have you ever jerked off to straight porn” Luka asked suddenly and Lovro barked out a surprised laugh
“Yeah” Lovro said but then thought about it “No, not really” Luka looked confused
“What do you mean?” and Lovro snorted, Luka was lucky Lovro was a few shoots and large beers deep otherwise he absolutely would not be admitting this
“I used to get hard and jerk off to gay porn but when I was about to cum I’d switch to straight porn and convince myself I came from the girls”
Luka blinked for a second and then burst out laughing, Lovro joined him as he thought about how he could have won several gold medals for mental gymnastics from the aged of thirteen to eighteen
“I have” Luka after he had finished laughing “jerked off to straight porn”
Lovro hummed “What did you like about it?” and Luka shrugged
“It was hot” he said vaguely and then he frowned as he really thought
“I guess I pictured myself in it” he said “But I think all guys do”
Lovro nodded and bit his lip to stop him from smiling as the ridiculousness of the conversation and the alcohol making his head fuzzy floated around him like cartoon birds
“Luka” he said slowly “When you pictured yourself in porn-” Lovro paused and Luka nodded
“Who were you picturing yourself as?” Lovro said and Luka looked confused “the guy or the girl?”
Luka looked at Lovro with the same expression as a deer caught in headlights and for a split second Lovro could actually see realisation wash over Luka like a bucket of ice cold water
“Oh fuck” Luka breathed out in horror, then he broke out into loud, disbelieving laughter
Lovro could help but laugh as well, Luka put his head in his hand and laughed loudly and screamed dramatically, Lovro rubbed his back and laughed even louder
“Oh fuck” Luka said again, taking another drink “I’m gay, aren’t I?”
Lovro laughed again and shrugged, Luka laughed even louder
“Oh fuck” he said as he laughed “How didn’t I know?”
Lovro laughed “Look there’s no right or wrong way to know things” and Luka nodded again
“You’re taking this realisation a lot better than I did” Lovro snorted “There’s a lot less crying”
Luka grinned and Lovro grinned back and Lovro felt another laugh bubble in his chest. Lovro realised both of their reactions to being gay fit their personalities perfectly; Lovro spiralling as he overthought everything and Luka being obvious and then going with the flow when he finally got a clue
They sat there talking and laughing until their stomachs hurt and Lovro felt warm and light in the conversation. It felt nice talking about it with Luka. Lovro had talked about this stuff with Ivan before but Ivan's experience had always been slightly different because Ivan liked girls too and so much of Lovro’s self hatred came from the fact he didn’t like girls. Ivan’s journey hadn't looked like Lovro's, which was great but Luke kept describing things that felt weirdly familiar and Lovro felt his grin widen even more
"When you were younger, did you ever convince yourself that certain thoughts didn't count?" Luka asked and Lovro immediately laughed louder
“Of course” Lovro answered
Luka looked embarrassed but then laughed and rubbed the back of his neck
"I had a rule" he admitted and Lovro leaned in to listen, grinning even winder
"I only let myself think about guys on weekends" Luka said sheepishly and there was a moment of complete silence until Lovro laughed even louder and nearly fell out of his chair
"No way” Lovro laughed and Luka nodded
“Actually not weekends” he amended “Fridays and Saturdays, no school nights” he said seriously
Lovro laughed so hard he could barely breath as Luka carried on
"I'd literally think, okay, it's Saturday, this is allowed"
“Bro, that’s so good” Lovro said through tears as Luka groaned in embarrassment, Lovro waved a hand
“No, no” Lovro said laughing “I used to do the same thing” Luka looked up and Lovro nodded
“I only let myself be gay at night”
Luka stared for a second and then they burst into laughter again, the look of pure relief on Luka’s face was impossible to miss. Lovro put his hand out for Luka to shake and Luka grinned as he took it and shook it enthusiastically, after they had finished laughing, eventually Luka sighed
"The others are going to be unbearable" he groaned and Lovro snorted
"Oh, absolutely" he agreed
"They all know, don’t they?" Luka asked and Lovro patted his arm sympathetically
"Everyone knows" and Luka groaned
"If it helps, they'll be insufferable because they're happy for you" Lovro said softly “Trust me”
Luka considered that and nodded, a comfortable silence settled between them but then Luka suddenly winced
"Oh fuck" he groaned and put his head in his hands “my dad’s going to kill me”
The amusement vanished from Lovro’s face
"Oh" he said softly and Luka nodded
Lovro had met Luka’s dad a few times and he was nice. Stipe Martić was a lot like his son; tall, charismatic, athletic and football obsessed. Every time Lovro had met him, he seemed warm and funny and it was so clear to anyone who met him that Luka was the most important person in his life. But he was also very clearly from Spilt and Lovro remembered the judgemental look he gave Lovro’s purple hair and the beat of uncomfortable silence that followed after Ivan had introduced him as his boyfriend. Lovro wasn't entirely sure how he'd react but if Luka’s wince was any indication, Luka seemed to know
"Are gay guys even allowed in Split?" Luka asked dramatically and Lovro snorted
“I’ve been to Split loads of times” Lovro replied seriously and Luka huffed a laugh
Lovro’s face softened "You don't have to tell him straight away"
"I know" Luka said but he didn’t sound convinced
"I still haven't told my dad" Lovro said and Luka winced
"No offence, but I still talk to my dad"
Lovro stared at him and then snorted
“Okay, fair point”
Luka smiled sheepishly but then bit his lip and for a moment Lovro thought.
"Your dad really loves you" Lovro said softly and Luka looked down and nodded
"Yeah"
"He's ridiculously proud of you" Lovro continued and he saw a smile smile tug at Luka’s lips
"And even if he doesn't understand right away” Lovro paused "He’ll come around"
Luka nodded slowly and Lovro hesitated
"Probably" Lovro finished sheepishly and Luka snorted and smiled
"Thank you for that vote of confidence" he said and Lovro grinned
"You're welcome"
After another minute, Lovro’s grin turned slightly evil and nudged Luka’s arm
"So" he started and Luka groaned before he even had a chance to finish his sentence
"Are you going to ask Marko out?" Lovro said, batting his eyelashes and Luka groaned again
"I always mess these things up” Luka admitted quietly and Lovro had to stop himself from cooing when he looked at Luka’s sad brown eyes
"But you've only ever asked out girls" Lovro pointed out and Luka frowned
"So?"
“Straight Luka had an olympic gold in striking out” Lovro grinned “Gay Luka might be smooth as fuck”
Luka shook his head and then smiled
"I might wait for a bit" he admitted "I've got a lot to think about”
Lovro nodded "That's fair"
Lovro studied Luka’s face and smiled. Despite being the same age as him, Lovro couldn’t help but feel protective over Luka
"You can talk to me about it” Lovro said softly and Luka looked surprised at how genuine his tone sounded
"Anything" Lovro nodded “All of it”
"Yeah?" Luka said smiling but Lovro could see he was genuinely asking
"Yeah, bro" Lovro said as he clapped Luka on the arm "I won't tell anyone"
"Not even Ivan?" Luka said, lifting an eyebrow
"Not even Ivan" Lovro said seriously and that seemed to genuinely mean something as Luka smiled
He raised his beer in a toast
"To my gay guru"
Lovro immediately rolled his eyes and clinked his glass against Luka’s. Luka grinned widely and for the first time all evening, Luka looked completely relaxed
ČETVRTAK 19:32
GROUPCHAT: DILETANTI
LUKA
Okay everyone
19:17
Collect your bets
19:17
MARIO
?
19:18
LUKA
Marko and I are dating
19:19
JAKOV
!!!!
19:20
Congrats bro!!
19:20
🥹
19:20
Really happy for you!!
19:20
IVAN
Congrats!
19:21
And welcome to the club 👨❤️👨
19:21
LOVRO
Lol
19:22
What happened to waiting for a bit?
19:22
LUKA
Turns out Gay Luka has mad game
19:23
Who knew?
19:23
MARIO
Fuck sake
19:24
Now i owe tina €20
19:24
JAKOV
Lol
19:25
You bet against luka being gay???
19:25
Might as well just throw your money in the trash bro
19:25
LUKA
🖕
19:25
MARIO
I obviously didn’t bet that luka was straight
19:26
Im not braindead
19:26
I thought theyd get together in the summer holidays
19:26
They’re going to dubrovnik together
19:26
They’ve got an airbnb with a jacuzzi
19:26
So romantic
19:26
LUKA
👨❤️💋👨
19:27
LOVRO
I call best man
19:28
IVAN
Dream on gorgeous
19:29
I’m obviously best man
19:29
Im lukas cousin
19:29
LOVRO
But im luka’s gay guru
19:30
A religious spiritual figure beats relative all day bro
19:30
JAKOV
@Luka invite Marko to the bar tomorrow
19:30
We can all hang out!!
19:31
LUKA
👍
19:31
MARIO
I’m gonna do 10 shots and then ask him which cousin give the best blowjobs
19:32
🤩
19:32
LUKA
And i will hit you with my car
19:32