Work Text:
feel me, chase me, closer, closer
Dahyun gasped when she broke out the water, her lungs taking in the air desperately. The light above her dim. Her mind still clouded, dizzy as her limbs felt distant and spent. Even if she wanted to she couldn’t dive deeper. She didn’t know for how long she was down under, her ears only hearing the water around her, every sound coming from around the pool muffled at best and completely drowned out otherwise.
“Dahyun-ah.”
A smile played at the edges of her lips now and just as she always did, Sohyun stood behind her at the edge of the pool. Not in her sight in case Dahyun might get distracted from her presence but behind her, ready to dive in if something went wrong. The chance was low, but not zero. They found out the hard way what that low possibility meant but Dahyun had no time to dwell on those memories.
Instead she turned around and there Sohyun stood at the edge of the tub. She took a moment to observe, her heartbeat growing into a steadier rhythm as the familiar sight filled her cooled body with artificial warmth. Standing a perfect contrapposto as Sohyun would have described it to her, knife-sharpened pencil in her right hand and tapping against the surface of the sketchbook propped up on her knee. Dahyun could listen to her artsy rambles for hours, head resting on her own knees and relishing the moments Sohyun would lean in, her left shoulder bumping into her right as their surroundings melted into obscurity.
Just as she dove into the water nothing else mattered but the knowing glint in Sohyun’s eyes, her cold demeanor melting into a soft warmth Dahyun just wanted to sink into but she bit her lip instead. This wasn’t the time to think about that.
She decided to not let her… friend, something? Dahyun felt frustration bubbling in her chest and she could have just thrown herself into the water another round but her shoulders were already protesting and the idea of Sohyun having to perform CPR on her as enticing as it seemed wasn’t exactly something that’d turn out pleasant for either of them. For all she knew it might turn into a bout of them reliving their past, her own lips already blue and the scar on the back of her head not a scar yet but the blood-leaking wound that had torn through them both.
Sohyun’s guilt mixed with her hubris from a time where Dahyun thought she was invincible.
tears are a deficiency
This wasn’t the time to wallow in self-pity. Dahyun was back in the water and Sohyun stood there in her swimming trunks and sports bra with their necklace casually sitting on top of it. The small piece of jewelry Sohyun never took off, her pendant a silver crescent moon while Dahyun’s golden sun had been buried somewhere in her bag of clothes to change into.
Dahyun wasn’t that sun anymore.
It wasn’t something she lost sleep over anymore. Well, that’s a lie but her insomnia was as much a part of her as the jagged scar on the back of her head, her long hair now covered. A secret to the world but not to Sohyun’s finger tips.
She was tired of that brush of fingers, she wanted — no — she needed more. Dahyun wanted to feel that urgent pull on her hair and finally drown out that screaming need that only encouraged her sleepless nights to stretch on longer and longer until the sun rose and she had to put on her necklace again.
The crashing of their bodies just like waves against the shore, she wanted to be the shore Sohyun crashed against. She wanted to keep her there, have her lips, neck and collarbone bruise in the urgency that never got to break the surface. She wanted to feel Sohyun’s desperation, finally have her admit that nearly losing each other would have been her death sentence.
For the current to wash them away they had to at least step into it and… they did only for it to crash against a mountain of ice and sink to the bottom of the ocean.
make it worse, don’t slow it down
“Come on now, you’re wrinkly enough.” Again Dahyun felt herself smile and all the knots in her chest loosened for just a moment. “Yooyeon-unnie said the cleaners would come in an hour, don’t forget your bag this time.”
Sohyun ‘didn’t’ know but that small oopsie wasn’t a mistake, Dahyun had the small hope that one of those cleaners would just get rid of the bag and the necklace with it but ultimately… she was glad to still come home to the pendant.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” She tried to sound light and slowly moved her way to the edge of the pool, Sohyun squinted her eyes and pretended not to hear but Dahyun knew she did. They’ve known each other for nearly two decades now, close to two thirds of their lives and it would have been a bad joke if Sohyun didn’t notice.
Once she was at the edge of the pool, Dahyun rested her arms on the white tiles in front of her. Looking up her eyes met mysterious dark ones, well for anyone else they would have been mysterious but for her they were painfully familiar. She’d seen everything from happiness, anger, dread and bonecrushing fear in them. A lingering want was always in them but Dahyun was probably just seeing ghosts at this point or trying to convince herself that she was.
A hand reached toward her, wanting to meet her in the middle and before everything Sohyun wouldn’t have done this. There was always a known risk that Dahyun would pull her into the water or at least try to, a fight breaking out and laughs following as their friends surrounding them during those times just wanted for them to both commit and dive in.
Dive they did and came to regret.
no mercy love, ruin me
She reached her right hand up and Sohyun gently grabbed her just above the elbow to stabilize her. Dahyun put one knee on the edge of the pool and put her left hand on Sohyun’s shoulder. Sohyun put her own left on Dahyun's waist, moving her hand so it rested on her lower back. Now as she stood it looked like they were about to perform a waltz.
A waltz of the broken-hearted maybe.
They didn’t look at each other, Sohyun looking at a point behind Dahyun’s shoulder while her own eyes were fixated on the pendant. She rested her forehead against Sohyun’s shoulder and slung her left arm around her neck, not caring that the older woman would be getting wet. Sohyun’s response was to pull her in closer and leave a soft kiss on the side of her head.
This was okay, for a minute.
There was no rush, they had all the time in the world. They really didn’t but… for a moment it was nice to be able to pretend.
I’m fine with being with being broken right now